Ensnared by Despair
by K'sChoiceofAFI
Summary: AU. Rachel and Quinn used to date until Quinn dumped her at Nationals without telling her why. When she drops off the radar all summer and comes back to school with a new attitude Rachel has a feeling things are going to get worse before they get better.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N 1: **I'm always fascinated with the notion of exes and having to deal with a person after sharing a past relationship with them. Mostly because I'm a firm believer in feelings never really 'dying'—they just change. For instance: you can't stop loving a person until that love has dissolved into hate or even apathy. You can't stop hating a person unless that hate changes into some level of tolerance or like. Anyway, this is where my mind state was when I wrote this. Rachel and Quinn are exes with a lot of feelings, questions, and confusion lying between them as they navigate senior year. At times their relationship may seem to take a backseat to other matters in their lives because well, they have _lives _(fictitious lives, but lives nonetheless). That being said, this _is _a romance, but the actual romance may or may not be the focal point from time to time. This fic encompasses their lives outside of each other as well as their lives together. That being said, there is Quick and Finchel and brief, super surprise ship happenings. _That _being said, I bring you chapter one. Hope you all enjoy. :)

**A/N 2: **I'm in college right now and working so if I don't update for a while at any point, it's because I'm busy.

* * *

><p>She contemplated not going to school today. It was the first day and all she wanted to do was skip with the Skanks and go smoke in the back parking lot of Wal-Mart before a cashier came to chase them away. It was how she spent a typical Monday. But her alarm went off and though she swatted it away, she still found herself pushing up from her mattress, rubbing sleep from her eye and wobbling to the bathroom on sleep-shaky legs.<p>

Maybe she could go to school after all. Besides, it was the first day, everyone would get to see the _new_ her.

Quinn smirked into her reflection in the mirror. If people could see her now. Hair dyed pink just a shade shy of cotton candy color, a new nose ring, and an all-over tan that instead of coming from spending all summer at the vacation home she used to spend it at when her parents were still married, came from spending sun up to sundown outside. She didn't like going home. And the hours that weren't spent working at the local McDonald's or dating her now ex-girlfriend were spent being outside, squandering in delinquency.

During her entire summer, she only spent about a two weeks' worth of days at home. Enough to keep her mother from worrying too much to the point where she'd care enough to file a missing person's report. Quinn spent most nights jumping couches from her ex-girlfriend's house, to Mack's, Sheila's, and Ronnie's. It was a good summer.

She splashed water across her face to wash away the caked mascara from yesterday. Next, she brushed her teeth and reapplied make-up. As she slinked back to her room, she wondered to herself if going back to school would even be worth it. Then she thought of all of her friend's reactions to her new look and suddenly it would all be worth it. She would have their attention then. She would especially have _her _attention then.

Quinn sucked her teeth, slipped on a half shirt that bared her midriff and rolled up the sleeves to her shoulders. She looked down at herself. Her toned, tan stomach and for a split second, she recalled all it took to get it back into shape. She didn't like thinking of Beth often. But times like this when she was able to look down and see no stretch marks and a fit stomach, she became prideful and sad all at once.

Chasing that thought away, she shimmied into a long skirt and accessorized in the full length mirror in her room with a pair of earrings, and necklaces. She combed her hair to the left and pinned it there. After getting ready, she fished for her phone under her pillow. She slid it unlock to find two text messages and the time. She was twenty minutes late. That was the only drawback about her new look; it took a lot longer to get ready. She read the texts from Sheila and Mack, both asking her if she was going to school. Typing back a quick reply, she grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her nightstand and lit one as she shuffled down the stairs and out the door for school.

* * *

><p>Rachel arrived to school with a broad smile on her face just as she did every year. And just as she did every year, she held a lot of trepidation under that tremulous smile. This was her final year. Everything was riding on this year, including her future career. This was the year where everything would be decided once and for all. Where she was going to school—which would ultimately dictate how her career was going to flourish, whether she was going to be valedictorian or salutatorian, how things were going to end or possibly <em>continue <em>with her and Finn.

And…how things were going to conclude with _her._

She fidgeted nervously after her interview with Jacob Ben Israel because he was pushing buttons and asking questions that—though she only had nine months to find answers to—she wasn't ready to answer just yet.

Kurt eyed her critically as he came to stop on the piano. "What's wrong with you? You only miss scales when you receive a text message alerting you to Barbra Streisand tweeting."

She snapped out of her reverie at Streisand and turned to face him. "It's nothing, really. Jacob's boisterous questioning just has me thinking…"

He patted the space beside him on the piano bench and scooted over as she sat down beside him. "Is this about him again?" Kurt asked knowingly. "Or her…?"

Her head snapped up. "It's about Finn. I refuse to even think about…_her_."

It was a sore subject. One she didn't like talking about because to this day it still saddened and angered and hurt her to even think about.

Kurt hummed quietly. "Well, you're happy, right?"

"Sure, now I am. But will I be weeks from now, months from now? All summer I've tried to broach the subject of college to him and he hasn't given the issue much thought."

"Come on, honey, this is Finn we're talking about. I love the guy but he's not the smartest crayon in the box."

She smiled dimly. He _wasn't_ the smartest crayon in the box, but he was _Finn _and she cared about him.

"But," Kurt chirped, "he always comes through in the end. And I don't think this is any different."

Rachel smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around Kurt. "Thank you," she whispered.

They pulled back just as the door to the choir room opened. The man in question walked in with a grin on his face. "It's nice to see my two favorite people get along," Finn said.

Rachel rose from her seat to meet Finn at the door. She was wrapped up in his arms, a kiss pressed to her head. This was safe, familiar. Though it was different now. She wasn't the carefree and whimsical teenager she was two years ago when she had time to waste. Not now. Now she knew more or less what she was getting herself into. She knew there was a fifty-fifty chance she and Finn would be together once this was all over and she was oddly content with those odds. She was content with the notion that her relationship with him was more like a ticking time bomb than anything else. Any minute now, it could all be over.

She leaned up to her tiptoes to kiss him soundly. "Ready for class?"

"Walk you to yours?"

They smiled at each other as they walked out of the room. Finn dapped out a football player as he walked down the hallway. He waved to the cheerleaders and gave good-natured punches to the arm to the basketball players. Rachel waved to her fellow glee club members when she saw them in the hallway. Mercedes, Tina and Mike, Artie. They walked further down the hallway and were blindsided by Jacob again.

"And here with me now I have the single leading couple of glee club ever since Noah Puckerman knocked up Quinn Fabray and the too-hot-to-look-at couple that never was spiraled into oblivion." He turned to them. "Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson, how are you guys? Barely making it, I hope." He puckered his lips in Rachel's direction and she frowned as Finn stepped up between them.

"We're doing great."

"Finn and I are taking it one busy day at a time. As you all know this is our final year in high school and we have many matters to discuss and agree on. That being said, I'd appreciate it if you all would give us the much needed privacy we are currently asking for as we deal with these matters."

"Finn, what do you want to be in life?"

"I already said I had plans, dude," Finn replied a little testily. Rachel grabbed his hand, and led him away, glaring back at Jacob.

"You don't have to answer his questions if you don't want to."

They came to a stop in front of her second class of the day. She leaned back against the wall as Finn intertwined their fingers. He stepped closer, his brow furrowing. "Someday I _am _gonna have to answer those questions."

She smiled as reassuringly as she could. "Someday, Finn, but not now. If you don't want to."

"That's not good enough for you."

It wasn't, but they could cross that bridge when they got to it. "For now let's just…live in the moment."

He smiled down at her and stepped closer. "What do you wanna do in this moment?" He leaned down closer.

She smiled a little and bit her lip as he leaned down to kiss her. When it was over, she bid him farewell and walked into class.

* * *

><p>Quinn stood outside behind a fence as she watched the Cheerios practice a routine. She remembered it well. It was brutal. She could see Santana's thighs tremble with exhaustion at the top of the pyramid and she smiled cruelly. That used to be her. Sue barked out some orders into a megaphone then told them to hit the showers. Quinn backed away out of Sue's line of sight, not wanting to be propositioned for a spot on the team again. Just as she was walking away Santana called her name.<p>

She cursed quietly, spinning around with a bored expression. She walked toward the fence as Santana and Brittany approached from the other side.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Santana asked. She looked Quinn up and down, gawking. "You don't half ass anything do you, Fabray?"

Quinn mashed her lips together in a quiet smile and shrugged. That was pretty much the response she had been getting all day. It gave her a little thrill to see the shock in everyone's eyes.

"Are you gonna rejoin Cheerios, or not? I saw you looking."

"I was mildly interested about who Coach had on the squad this year, that's all. And, no. I'm not joining. I'm not interested in the boys or the—"

Santana snorted indelicately. "I think we _all _know by now you're not interested in boys."

Quinn gave a sheepish smile, scratching the back of her head. Santana's brow furrowed as she took a step back. D-did she actually find that hot? Holy hell.

"I gotta say, this is kinda hot and everything, Q. But if you were going for butch, you've failed miserably."

And the strangest thing happened. She didn't blush in embarrassment. Her shoulders didn't pull taut with indignation. She hardly batted an eyelash behind her rounded sunglasses. She simply said, "I'm not trying to be butch. That's not my style at all."

Santana's jaw dropped at how her voice seemed to go even lower and, yeah, she may have wet herself a little. Brittany leaned against the fence a little heavier and Quinn smirked as she spied Brittany checking her out.

"So, what the hell are you doing?"

"I've finally found myself."

"And you're—what? A pink haired freak with a nose piercing?"

She shrugged again and Santana was admittedly becoming a little irritated. She sometimes thrived on how quickly she could rile Quinn up but it seemed this version of Quinn wasn't as tightly wound as the older one.

"Berry seen you yet?"

That seemed to get a reaction. Quinn's eyebrows rose higher on her forehead before she said in that same tone of voice, "Dunno. Maybe. Maybe not."

"Well, she's not gonna like this new look of yours."

"And I care, because?"

"Because you care about Rachel," Brittany said as if it was the most logical concept in the world.

"People grow apart," Quinn replied. Santana arched an eyebrow in a subtle warning at the sound of steel creeping into her throaty voice.

"Is that what we're doing here?" Santana asked.

"It's what we all do. Deal with it. I've got new friends now. And they accept me for who I am."

Santana was left speechless as Quinn walked away. Brittany tilted her head to the side, trying to see up Quinn's skirt though it was entirely too long.

* * *

><p>Rachel wrote a quick greeting to the glee club members on the white board in the choir room. It was a new year, after all. And with the loss of Nationals last year still hot on their trail, it was best to boost team morale right from the start. She wanted to win this year. She needed to win this year if she was going to put leading glee club to Nationals on her college applications by the time they were due.<p>

A flash of a Cheerios uniform caught her eye as Santana and Brittany filed into the choir room, with Puck trailing behind…leering at their behinds. Tina and Mike walked in hand in hand and Artie wheeled in with Mercedes and Kurt a moment later. Everyone was talking animatedly a mile a minute with wide eyes. Rachel turned to Finn in confusion just as he walked in, wondering what was going on. Santana caught their confusion and rolled her eyes. "Okay, have the two of you been under a rock all day?"

Rachel huffed quietly. "No, we have not, Santana. Is it possible you could inform us about the news that has seemed to work the club into a frenzy?"

"Quinn, duh."

Rachel bristled, looked around the room. Quinn wasn't there. "Where is she?"

"It isn't _where_ she is," Artie piped up.

"It's _what _she's wearing." Puck leaned back in his seat. "I've seen many sides to my baby mama, but this is the hottest one."

"She did look super hot," Brittany admitted. Santana nodded a little.

"Okay, seriously, am I the only one wondering what happened to her over the summer? Girl has lost it for real this time." Mercedes looked around to see mild to little concern on everyone's face. "Rachel, come on, you gotta still care about your girl at least a little bit."

Rachel bit her lip as Finn looked down at her. Everyone did. As if she had a magical answer that would solve all the world's problems. But for now the world could wait. She had to see Quinn, had to see for herself. She cleared her throat. "If you'll all give me a moment, I have some business to take care of."

Finn looked confused because nothing aside from being sick kept her away from a glee club meeting. Before he could utter a word she was out the door.

* * *

><p>The fourth place she thought to look was under the bleachers. Even then she didn't really think to look there; she just heard voices and followed them from off the football field. She walked closer as quietly as she possibly could. She saw Quinn, standing with her back to her as she talked with a group of three other girls. Rachel hardly even noticed the other women there as her gaze lifted from the long skirt to Quinn's lower back. She was tan. Her normally pale skin was a healthy golden shade that piqued Rachel's interest. And…was that a tattoo? Rachel shook her head with her eyes clenched shut as if to unclog her brain. She looked again and <em>yes. <em>That was definitely a tattoo. Her gaze continued north to the half shirt Quinn wore with the sleeves rolled to her shoulders. Her head tiled in thought—when did Quinn _ever _wear black? Then, Rachel nearly choked on her own saliva when to top it all off, Quinn's hair was _pink_. And not just pink streaks; she dyed her entire head _pink_. The entire transformation was mind boggling. Nothing about Quinn had made sense over the past several months and this just threw all logic out of the window. Tightening the strap of her pink purse to her for comfort, she walked forward just as Quinn lit her cigarette. And when did Quinn _ever _smoke?

"H-hey, Quinn." She cursed herself for how weak and scared she sounded. But she _was _scared. This was a new Quinn that she had never been acquainted with until now. She knew what Quinn was up to over the summer due to various contacts she had but no one ever told her _this_. No one ever told her that she dyed her hair, changed her wardrobe and—Quinn turned around to face her.

Rachel's jaw dropped. _She had a nose ring._

She quickly tried to regroup. "Hello…Skanks…" she greeted awkwardly.

"Your friend stinks of soap, Quinn."

Rachel noticed Quinn roll her eyes, but she hardly paid attention to the girl who insulted her. Her eyes raked over Quinn's body quietly. This transformation was new but this wasn't Quinn. This wasn't _her _Quinn.

But she was still so beautiful. She still took Rachel's breath away. The way she bat her eyelashes when the wind shifted and the smoke blew back into her face, the dark color of her lipstick making her lips look even fuller, the blush applied to her cheeks accentuating her cheekbones. If this moment wasn't so severe Rachel would have laughed at the absurdity of it all. Was it so impossible for Quinn to look anything but stunning?

"This is new…" she said quietly.

"It's not. Don't act like you haven't been keeping tabs on me this summer."

Even her voice was different. It was lower and unyielding—dangerous, sending shivers down Rachel's spine. But she surged on, not one to be deterred. "We were in love once. I knew when you broke up with me when we went to New York for Nationals, I should have fought harder for you." She looked to Quinn sadly. "Now look at you."

Quinn gave her a dry look as she puffed her cigarette. She blew the smoke into the air in front of her, the gray cloud blurring her in Rachel's eyes. "I really don't need your pity."

"It's concern because I care about you," Rachel assured her. "Maybe when you dropped out of society this summer and dated that forty year old skate boarder, I should have said I lov—"

"We're not doing this again."

"Why did you leave me?" she murmured into the gentle wind swirling around them.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you let me beat her up for you, Quinn." Mack walked closer from behind Quinn and Rachel startled, taking a step back.

Quinn's eyes turned cold in an instant as she turned around and rounded on Mack. "Don't touch her," was all she said in that lower than normal voice that sent off warning alarms in Rachel's head.

Mack cocked her hip to the side in defiance but she complied. Quinn turned back around to find Rachel staring at her in wonderment.

"What?" she barked out defensively.

"Nothing, it's just—" she took a deep breath, "I hardly recognize you."

"Maybe you never knew me."

"I'd like to think I knew you better than anyone."

Quinn looked away from her. She took another drag of her cigarette. "Get lost for a little while, guys." The girls behind her took their time, slowly gathering their belongings before they left. Each glared at Rachel and Mack made a jerky move towards her. Rachel yelped and leapt away and Mack laughed as she walked off.

"You don't need to be afraid of her," Quinn told her as she walked over to the bleachers and took a seat. "She's harmless."

Rachel clutched her purse closer to her. "She looks like she could cause harm."

Quinn looked up at her. "She wouldn't harm you."

Momentarily comforted, she carefully walked toward Quinn, sitting beside her. She wanted to ask so many questions it was overwhelming. This was Quinn in front of her, in the flesh. Finally. Before she knew it, tears sprang to her eyes because she went months without seeing her and she was always so scared something was going to happen. "_Quinn_," she whispered tremulously. "I was so afraid—I tried to contact you but you wouldn't return _any _of my calls and I just—"

She choked on her words as Quinn reached out an arm to wrap around her. Rachel buried herself into Quinn's side and wept silently. She shuddered against her and Quinn never said of word. Rachel breathed deeply, the scent of grunge, malt liquor and tobacco doing nothing to mask the scent of coconut underneath. "I was so worried about you and you never returned my calls."

"I was busy," Quinn murmured.

"Busy forgetting about me?" Rachel replied bitterly.

"This wasn't about you."

Rachel pulled back to wipe her eyes. She saw Quinn a little better and felt like crying all over again. "Quinn, what _happened_ to you?" She reached forward to touch her hair. It was still soft to the touch, dancing a little in the wind. "You cut your hair, you dyed it. Got a nose ring, dating older women. What have you been doing?"

"I'd say I was doing her." The corner of her lip lifted into a lop-sided grin. Rachel frowned deeply, decidedly unamused. Quinn sighed and took another drag of her cigarette. She threw it to the ground and stomped it out. "What do you want, Rachel?" she asked tiredly.

"I want you to answer my question."

"Which one? You ask so many."

"Why did you break up with me and what the hell happened to you?"

She had never gotten an answer. When Quinn had broken up with her the weekend they went to New York for Nationals she had cried and begged for a reason why and Quinn had never given her one. They had been amazing together, perfect. Everything Rachel wasn't, Quinn was and vice versa. It made sense in a really weird way that shouldn't have made sense at all.

They had begun dating at the end of April. Finn had accidently broke Rachel's nose and that moment had sent Rachel spiraling on a quest to have a nose that looked just like Quinn's. Quinn was simply the most beautiful girl she had ever met; she wanted to _be _with her and as creepy as it sounded, if she couldn't have Quinn then she at least wanted to be like her in some way.

Quinn was creeped out. Ironically not about Rachel's feelings for her, but about her deciding to have her nose instead of coming clean about her feelings.

They began tentatively. Quinn had managed to convince Rachel not to get a nose job and they took off from there in a careful relationship that flourished as quickly as it began for they both came to realize that what they shared had been nearly two years in the making.

Then, it ended. They had journeyed to New York and things were good until a day before Nationals. Quinn had broken up with her without a reason why. They both cried and when Quinn tried to wipe her tears, Rachel whipped back angrily, not wanting her pity.

Finn ended up kissing her at Nationals. They subsequently lost Nationals and that summer, Rachel lost Quinn. She dropped off the face of the earth. This was the first time she had seen or heard from her in three months.

"Are you going to tell me?"

She watched as Quinn lit another cigarette, taking a long, slow drag. Rachel swallowed tightly. "That could kill you," she choked out.

Quinn blew out the smoke with a shrug. "I'm gonna end up here anyway. Why spend this year trying and acting as if I'm gonna be something?"

"Because you _are _going to be something."

"I am _sick _to _death _of your motivational speeches, Rachel." She didn't raise her voice above that low purr and something about it was more chilling than anything else. Rachel could handle Quinn yelling and flying off the handle because she was showing emotion and Rachel could read them well. But she couldn't read this Quinn. It was unnerving to talk to her and not know what she was feeling.

"Come back to glee club," she asked instead, changing tactics. "We could really use your voice." She risked scooting closer as Quinn looked up at her. And then she saw those eyes. No matter how much Quinn had changed those eyes would always be an indicator to Rachel that she was still there. "I miss seeing you in the choir room, Quinn. I miss seeing _you_."

Quinn didn't say anything. Her throat bobbed as she looked away to take another puff of her cigarette. Rachel stood up, knowing that Quinn worked on her own time. If she left, Quinn would follow if she wanted to.

"We would love to have you back. I would love to have you back," she said quietly. "Whenever you're ready."

The weight of her statement wasn't lost on Quinn as she watched Rachel walk away. She made a face as the cigarette touched her lips and tossed it, stomping it with a little more force than necessary.

It had gotten bitter.

Just like her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **I will be having a _lot _of canon included in this story in order to keep the beginning of canon season 3 as the backdrop of how my story will unfold. And thank you guys for your reviews last chapter! Glad you like it so far.

* * *

><p>Her grades were already taking a nosedive and it was only three weeks into the semester. Of course, a nosedive for Quinn Fabray was only a C average. But if she was to be in line for valedictorian, even that would screw her over. As she sat at the table in the kitchen, staring at her biology textbook, she was caught between actually giving a damn and not giving one at all.<p>

She cracked the book open to page two ninety-six and prepared to read. Her eyes scanned the page rapidly. She absorbed knowledge well. Her third grade teacher once likened her to a sponge; she soaked up knowledge with little effort.

Her phone vibrated and she opened it to find a text from Mack.

_**Wanna make out?**_

Quinn rolled her eyes at the text. Mack reminded her a little of Santana; they both had a one track mind. She idly wondered how her current and former friends would get along if they were all in one place. She shook her head. It would probably end in a brawl. All the Lima Heights Adjacent junk Santana talked was just that. Junk. If Sheila ever got a hand on her Quinn shuddered to think what would happen.

_**Thought you were into guys?**_

She went back to her homework and not five minutes later, she received another text.

_**I dont discriminate ;)**_

She sat at the kitchen table and contemplated her options. She could do her homework then cook dinner for her mother to eat when she woke up from her happy hour coma, or she could go make-out with The Mack whom had told her time and time again what a good kisser she was. Weighing her options, she silently closed her textbook and grabbed her keys from the table.

_**Coming to your place. My mom is home.**_

* * *

><p>Okay, so Mack definitely lived up to her title, doing things with her lips and tongue that Quinn never knew about. She didn't even want to think about how many guys Mack had to make out with to even be able to have the level of skill she had at simply kissing. And it wasn't even the best kiss Quinn's had—far from it. But she could appreciate good technique. After all, she, too, perfected her craft from years of keeping boys interested in simply kissing because she wasn't willing to give up much of anything else. Until Puck came along…<p>

Mack tugged gently on her lower lip and Quinn pulled back, rubbing her tongue over the bite as she sucked air into her lungs. Undeterred, full lips moved down the column of her throat. "Your tan is fading."

Quinn just nodded. Yeah, her tan was fading because she had been spending more daylight hours in school rather than the streets. But she didn't really come there to talk. Just kiss a little bit then go home. It was better than sitting in her house alone aside from her mother's snoring at the top of the stairs. This was nice and oddly comforting. Something she could see herself doing again if things ended as well as they started.

A hand crawled up her stomach to cup her breast and she stiffened and pulled back. "Too far."

Mack pulled back from her, panting lightly with a lazy smile. "Fair enough, prude."

Quinn glared at her, adjusting her top and skirt. She sat back against the couch, deciding she was done. Fishing the remote from the crack of the couch where it always was when she came over, she flicked on the TV, propping her feet on the coffee table. Mack shuffled closer to her, resting her head on her shoulder as they settled into a TV show.

"When's your dad coming home?" Quinn didn't really like her dad. He reminded her too much of her own. Mack's father often times came staggering into the house, reeking of alcohol. He would curse and throw fits, beating Mack and her little brother from time to time. One day when he came home Quinn hadn't left yet. An argument started between Mack and her father and stupidly, Quinn intervened. She ended up leaving the house with a black eye that was pretty hard to conceal with make-up but she made it work. After that she made sure to always leave Mack's house before he came home.

"Not for a long time. Don't worry. He doesn't even touch us anymore because Maurice is stronger now. He works out at the gym every day after football practice. The last time my dad tried anything he ended up flat on his ass." Mack's head rolled back with a hollow laugh of victory. "I think he learned his lesson."

She made a noise of approval and settled deeper into the couch cushions.

They watched _That __70__'__s __Show_ for a little while and it actually felt wholesome to Quinn. Nothing had felt this normal to her in months. A commercial came on and Mack began to fidget against her. Quinn sighed quietly at her movements; Mack wasn't good at keeping still and concentrating for very long.

"What's up with you and that Rachel chick?" Her inability to concentrate on one thing at a time often led her to ask questions that wandered through her mind.

"We used to date."

"You love her or something?"

Quinn didn't say anything for a long time. Her jaw worked back and forth until finally, she responded. "No."

Mack laughed loudly and Quinn shrugged her off her shoulder, her laughter ringing loudly in her ear. "You'd think you took that chick's virginity with the way she was talking to you like a love sick puppy. She was all, 'why did you leave me?'" She laughed again. "Pathetic."

Quinn flicked off the TV and turned to her sharply. "You listen to me," she said sternly, voice dripping with warning. "What I had with Rachel is my business and my business alone. You don't have to like it or understand it but you will _not _talk about it. Are we clear, _Mackenzie_?"

She deflated almost completely when Quinn used her full name and nodded her head.

Her boots hit the floor with a heavy thud as she hoisted herself off the couch.

"Where are you going?" Mack asked her.

"Home," she replied tersely. "I have homework."

"Since when do you do homework?"

She didn't answer, just got her shit and left.

* * *

><p>All Mr. Schuester had to say was <em>West <em>_Side __Story _and Rachel was hooked. She was _born _to play Maria. Much like the way she was _born _to play Elphaba, much like she was _born _to play Fanny Brice in an onstage revival of _Funny __Girl_, much like she was _born _to play Streisand herself in a coming of age mockumentary that she may or may not be currently writing.

She was born to do many things, but Maria was here and now. And she deserved it.

She walked into her house proudly, slinking her purse onto the kitchen table as she made a beeline for the living room. "Daddy, guess what?"

Leroy smiled over at his daughter as he took his eyes off the TV. It seemed like everyday Rachel had some groundbreaking news to deliver. "Yes, dear?"

"McKinley has finally joined some of the more prestigious high school theatre elites in our district and they have decided to undertake…wait for it."

He waited on nonexistent pins and needles as she built up suspense.

"_West __Side __Story_!" she shrieked.

Leroy lifted from his seat in an instant. That was his _favorite._ "Why, this is just fantastic!"

"Now you understand my excitement!"

"Come, come sit down." He ushered her to the couch where they both sat down. "Tell me all about it."

"Originally directed by Mr. Schuester, he had to give up his position in order to direct his time more fully to glee club. This is my last year and I intend for us to win Nationals." She bit her lip, thinking of Quinn. It would be nice if the _entire_ glee club could be together to the very end so that they could all share a Nationals victory together.

She didn't know if Quinn wanted that. She didn't know what Quinn wanted or needed at all because although she promised this new version of herself was who she really was, Rachel knew different. Her eyes looked dull and listless. She didn't look happy or sound happy and perhaps even something as insignificant to Quinn as a Nationals victory for glee club would bring her out of her funk. After all, winning always cheered Rachel up.

"So, you have the part, then?"

She scowled a little. "No. They are holding auditions for the part."

"Then audition."

"I shouldn't have to audition."

Leroy bit back a smile of amusement. "Let me guess: you're so amazingly talented that you shouldn't even have to audition for the part?"

Well, when he put it that way it made her sound like an arrogant brat. She blushed in embarrassment. "That wasn't _exactly _what I meant, no."

He patted her lightly on the shoulder, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Audition for the part. Goodness knows that ego of yours needs a little deflating every now and then."

Rachel turned to look at him as walked out of the living room towards the kitchen. "Why should I have to hide the fact that I know I'm good?"

He stopped at the doorway and turned to face her. "There's this little thing called humility, Rachel. You're great, sweetheart, so wonderfully talented. But when you're truly that talented, you can allow your talent to speak for itself."

* * *

><p>"Yo!"<p>

"What?"

Puck rounded on Quinn just as she was fishing her lighter out of her pocket. He ripped the cigarette from her mouth and tossed it to the ground. "Look, we get it. You became a bad ass over the summer—you don't have to smoke every minute."

Quinn sneered at him. "Yesterday you were _all _over me after school in the parking lot. You tried to get me to follow you home in my car."

"Yeah, well today's different."

She leaned back against the wall, already bored with his presence. "How?"

"Because Shelby's here."

She stopped breathing all together. Her cheap, dollar lighter fell from her slackened grip as her eyes widened just a fraction. She forced shuddery breaths through her lips, feeling her chest cave in. "S-she's here?"

Puck nodded.

"A-and Beth—is she—"

"She's not here."

"Well, where is she?" Quinn asked forcefully.

Puck tossed his hands up. "I don't know. Her house?"

"Why is she here?"

"Why don't we go find out?"

He grabbed her arm and pulled her through the doors of the school before she could think twice. Her mind was racing a mile a minute, wondering where her baby was and why Shelby was here. And, "Rachel?"

Puck sighed quietly. "I don't know if she knows yet."

He continued pulling her along until they reached the door.

"I don't have time for this," she breathed, trying to sound not nearly as bothered as she felt. "I gotta meet the Skanks on the roof. We're gonna throw ketchup covered tampons at the marching band."

Puck gave pause for a second because Quinn's alternative was actually sounding a lot more fun than this meeting was going to be. But he pushed the thought away and they turned the corner and stopped at the threshold of the door together. Quinn took one look at her and immediately turned towards Puck. His heart broke a little at the lost expression on her face but before he could say anything Quinn was crossing the threshold and walking into the room.

Shelby lifted from the piano bench to meet them halfway.

"You're back," Quinn stated as way of a greeting.

"Yeah, I went to New York." Shelby flashed a disarming smile that Quinn didn't return. She sighed quietly. "I got to working and I couldn't stop thinking about Beth."

Quinn nodded her head because she knew. Nobody knew more than she did how hard it was not to think about Beth.

"I got to thinking how I could miss her milestones, you know? Her first steps, her first words, her—"

"I get it," Quinn cut in sharply.

The smile melted from Shelby's face. "So…when I got this job offer, I couldn't refuse. I had missed so many firsts in Rachel's life; I couldn't do that to Beth, too."

Anger flared through her at the mention of Rachel, but Quinn suppressed it. This meeting was _not _going to affect her.

"Part of me is here because I want you to get to know Beth, Quinn. I want you to be a part of her life."

"When do I get to see her?"

Shelby gave pause at the cold and almost threatening tone in Quinn's voice. She took a step back, eyeing her up and down. This wasn't the wholesome blonde former cheerleader that wore dresses she used to know. "Are you okay? What's going on with you? Are you even in glee club anymore?"

"Did you come here just to torment me with the idea of seeing my child?"

"Look, I want you to be a part of Beth's life. But not like this. If you're really serious about Beth, clean up your act."

"You think you can tell me what to do just because you signed a couple of papers?" Her eyes narrowed. "You're not her mom, I'm her mom."

"Quinn—"

She raised a hand in Puck's direction to silence him. Rage ran white hot through her veins at the idea of being denied access to the life that _she _created. "Me! _So_, you can pretend all you want. But that is something you are never going to be."

She didn't even wait around to hear anyone's response, just walked out of the room carrying a heart full of anger with her.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Brad, can we run it again, please?"<p>

"This is going to be the fifth time, Rachel."

"Perfection takes time, Brad. Again, please."

The man in question gave her a look before his fingers began stroking against the piano keys once more. Rachel chimed in a second later and she began running her scales again. She was halfway through when the sight of Shelby literally sucked the wind out of her and she stopped singing. She stood there motionless as Shelby walked further into the room.

"Your range is better," she greeted. She was never good at approaching Rachel though she always felt the need to try. "It was impressive a year and a half ago, but…it's getting better now."

Rachel stumbled backwards, sputtering uncontrollably. "T-this is a private rehearsal."

"What song are you auditioning with?"

"That's none of your business oka—if you've come to ask me to join your little group the answer is no." She walked around to the other side of the piano as Shelby neared, stumbling over her words. "My loyalty is to the New Directions. They're my family and family means something…at least to me."

"Rachel, like we talked about before, I'm your birth mother—"

"But not my mother, I know, okay? I almost had to go to therapy because of you." She glared down at her sheet music stacked atop the piano, not making eye contact.

"Rachel—"

"Look, I'll—I'll be polite, okay? Don't worry. If I see you in the halls, I'll make eye contact and I'll nod. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my rehearsal."

She spun around and left Shelby by the piano, mouth agape. Rachel walked over to the drummer and guitarist, handing them their sheet music.

"_Somewhere __There__'__s __a __Place __for __Us_."

She turned around sharply to glare at Shelby. "I just said that there wasn't!"

"I'm talking about the song," Shelby continued, undeterred. "I've played Maria eighteen times. _Somewhere_ is the perfect audition song for you and you should do it."

Rachel's gaze softened as she took cautious steps closer. Her heart hammered against her chest with every step she took. Why did Shelby have to care _now_? There were plenty of times last year when she needed a mother and Shelby left her hanging high and dry.

"Well, I was considering it. But it's a very challenging song, so…I was just going to do _I __Feel __Pretty_—something I'm amazing at."

"You will never become a star or get the lead if you play it safe. Try it."

Her head bobbed up and down. Her eyes and chest hurt. "I will. T-thank you, but…would you go now? Please."

It looked like Shelby wanted to share more but she just nodded her head. She walked up to Rachel and gave her shoulder a light squeeze. Rachel flinched at the touch and she missed the look of hurt flashing in Shelby's eyes before she walked away.

Rachel turned to everyone in the room with a forced smile. "I think that's enough practice for the day. We can pick it up same time tomorrow."

Everyone around her quickly dispersed, having been there for nearly two hours. Rachel walked around the stage in solitude. She thought of Shelby. How if things had gone differently when they first encountered each other, they could be singing more heartfelt duets, become the mother-daughter duo Rachel never knew she wanted and take over McKinley together.

She came to a stop in the middle of the stage and sighed quietly. "I know you're here."

There was some rustling stage left, then out from the shadows came Quinn Fabray. She stood there, making her presence known but not walking over to Rachel. They stared each other down, sized each other up.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel finally asked.

Quinn shrugged. "I heard Shelby was here, so…"

"So, you wanted to spy on me?"

She frowned at the attitude in Rachel's tone. "Forget it." She turned to walk away but Rachel was hot on her heels. By the time she made it to the door, Rachel blindly reached out and grabbed her wrist to spin her around. Quinn struggled to see Rachel, her facial features shrouded by the darkness formed by stage curtains.

"Why did you come?" Rachel's voice had quieted as if the darkness suppressed her vocal chords. The only thing she could hear was Quinn's even breathing. It was really the only indication that they were in the same room. She stepped closer, the smell of cigarettes being her guide. "Have you seen Beth?"

Quinn sighed deeply and the sound of boots could be heard as she shifted her weight. "No."

"Do you want to?"

The question was asked so innocently Quinn almost wanted to cry. She inhaled a shaky breath, squinting to try to see Rachel in the dark. "I don't know," she whispered.

Rachel nodded though she doubted Quinn could see her. "Well perhaps if you asked Shelby she would let you."

She didn't get a reply back and, blindly, she reached out into the darkness. Her hand closed around a slender arm and she stepped closer. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For checking up on me. I know that's what you were doing." The arm lightly grasped in her hand tensed and she risked stepping even closer. "I'm going to hug you now," she whispered. She ran the hand on Quinn's arm up to loop around her neck and slid her other arm around her waist, tugging until Quinn was closer. They're bodies pressed flush against each other and Rachel breathed in deeply. Her face scrunched up at the scent of tobacco. But she stayed in Quinn's arms for a little longer because the former Ice Queen of McKinley High surprisingly exuded warmth whenever Rachel touched her.

Quinn didn't return the embrace and it took her awkwardly coughing into her closed fist for Rachel to let go. She stood back and looked up to where she knew Quinn's eyes would be. "Take care of yourself, Quinn."

"Yeah, whatever," she scoffed. She turned to walk away, hesitating as she called over her shoulder, "You, too. Especially with Shelby around."

The disgust in her voice was unmistakable, alerting Rachel to the fact that Quinn must have already encountered her. Light filtered into the room briefly as Quinn slipped out of the doorway, leaving Rachel shrouded in darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>School was going by much slower than Quinn had anticipated. It was becoming boring, tedious. Aside from the Skanks, she didn't really have a source of fun. They terrorized band geeks and underclassmen whenever they got the chance, but something was missing. It didn't give her the same fulfillment it did during the first few weeks of school.<p>

She blamed Shelby. The presence of her daughter's fake mother left her in a permanent foul mood, it seemed. Dangling her baby in front of her as if Quinn was something to be toyed with. She _wasn__'__t. _If she wanted Beth, she could _have _her because Beth was _hers. __She _was the one to carry that baby to term and deliver her. Quinn was the first person Beth saw and smiled at. The first one she touched and the first person to make her feel safe.

But Quinn had given her up.

So, now what?

"Food's ready!" Quinn shouted towards the top of the stairs. She walked back into the kitchen and made a plate for her and her mother and sat down.

She also blamed Rachel to a lesser degree. Rachel always set her up to make her fall. Making her think she was better than what she was. Making her think that she actually _was_ more than just a pretty face. But she wasn't. She was just Quinn Fabray, the pretty blonde that got knocked up at sixteen and gave her baby away. That was all she'd ever be.

"Good morning, dear."

She wasn't even aware her mother was in the room until she spoke. Quinn looked up to see Judy sitting in the chair across from her with a small smile.

"Morning."

Judy looked her over quietly and sighed. She never voiced much of an opinion when her daughter changed so much over the summer but Quinn knew well what disappointment looked like on her mother's face and could read it perfectly when she stepped inside the house one day with pink hair, a nose ring, and black clothes.

Judy cleared her throat in the awkward silence around them as Quinn forked through her breakfast. "Anything interesting happening in school?"

Quinn looked up at her. "No."

"Ah." She looked down at her plate and forked a mouth full of eggs. Quinn really was a good cook. Judy always had high hopes for her daughter as a housewife. "Any cute new boys that you have your eye on, dear?"

"I haven't noticed any."

"Well, maybe they'd notice _you _if you dressed a little more…girly." She pried apart her toast to pop a small piece into her mouth. "Just a suggestion."

Quinn ducked her head with a quiet smirk and eyebrow raise. Here it comes. "What are you suggesting?"

"Quinn, lately you've dressing like one of those—those—"

"Those what, mom?"

She looked up to find Judy staring at her blankly. "You can't be…"

"Are you gonna kick me out again?"

She pushed back her chair and stood up from her seat. Her boots thudded hard against the floor as she emptied her plate in the trash and tossed it in the sink. All the while Judy watched her with the same blank expression. Quinn turned to her, gauging her reaction, or lack thereof. She snagged her satchel from her chair and walked to the door.

"Later, mom."

* * *

><p>Puck wasn't a man that was typically afraid of anything. He went above and beyond the call of duty. And when he charmed The Mack into telling him Quinn had gone to the bathroom to reapply her make-up, he was more than willing to go into the girls' bathroom after her. <em>More <em>than willing. He stormed in there just as Quinn was applying blush to her cheeks. He ran his eyes over her, fishnet covering her thighs, the length of her short skirt. He sighed. "I see you haven't changed."

"Rome wasn't built in a day," was the breezy reply. She leaned forward towards the mirror, topping off her make-up.

"What's history got to do with this?"

Quinn chuckled quietly. She rolled up the sleeves a little on her too big sweater and continued to work in the mirror. Puck spied the money beside her on the sink warily. "You dealing?"

Her eyes tracked his line of sight from the mirror and she looked down at the money as well. "Do I look like I deal?"

"In that outfit?" He crossed his arms and smiled a little. "Yeah."

"Well, then no. I don't sell drugs."

"Then you're a hooker?"

She didn't blush and it caught Puck off guard. One of the things he loved most about Quinn was how much he could get her to blush from saying just a few crude words. Now, Quinn just looked up at him briefly before continuing to apply her make-up. "No, I'm not. And if I ever hear that rumor I know exactly who to go to."

"Then what do you do?"

"Give swirlies to freshmen and sophomores until they give us their lunch money."

He whistled quietly in admiration. "I see you've moved up to the big leagues. Maybe if you had guns like these then you could drop those freshies into trashcans." He made a show of flexing his muscles and Quinn laughed at his antics.

"Pighead."

"You used to love it," he said confidently.

"Keep telling yourself that." Putting away her blush, she fished out a tube of mascara from her satchel. Puck stood quietly behind her. Quinn leaned towards the mirror, the opposing figure behind her making her uneasy. "I guess this is the part where you convince me to come back to glee club? Don't bother. Rachel tried already."

"Good thing I didn't come for that, then." He took a step closer behind her. "This is the part where I convince you to change whatever shit you got going on clothes and hair wise so that we can see Beth."

Quinn switched to her other eye. "Not interested."

"Quinn, you need to quit this shit. Shelby's given us a chance to be in Beth's life."

"Shelby?" she asked with snort. "Shelby doesn't _allow_ me to do anything. If I want Beth, I can have her. She's _mine._"

Times like this Quinn couldn't bear to even look at Puck. Not when he reminded her so much of the tipping point that caused her to spiral out of control, caused her to regret her existence more often than not, caused her to think of Beth—the one perfect thing in the storm of fucked up shit she had created.

"Who are you?" Puck asked.

She spun around, taking a deep breath and finally looking him in the eye. "I'm Quinn Fabray. Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Puck."

"You haven't been _Puck _for almost a year now. It's like Lauren chopped your balls off or something."

He stared her down, completely unfazed. "Oh, yeah? You haven't been _Quinn _since the day I met you. Seriously, how many personalities are you going to cycle through, _Lucy_?"

All the color drained from her face. She shook her head and shoved Puck aside to get passed him. He quickly grabbed her arm. "Hey, wai—"

"Screw you, Puckerman!" She thrashed away from him. "You're an unfit student, an unfit boyfriend, and an unfit _parent_!"

His face crumbled but Quinn refused to allow him reprieve. "You don't belong near Beth any more than I do. We're _unfit__—_why would you touch her? Why would you taint her with the same long line of idiocy and no-do-good that you have inside of you? You've already done that to _me_." Her voice cracked and she paused. She looked down, taking a moment to herself before she looked up at him again. "We're not good people, Puck. The best thing we can do for her is stay away."

Her eyes stung because this is the exact same speech she had been giving herself for all the reasons she needed to stay away from Beth. "She's good, Puck," she whispered. "She's everything that's good in this world and I'm not going to ruin that."

Puck stared at her with so much hurt and anger that it seized her heart. She choked out a sob and left before he had the chance to say anything. The rest of the day was a blur that ended with her crying herself to sleep.

* * *

><p>She was way too busy. Auditioning for the role of Maria joined the ranks of college applications, glee club, and a pseudo boyfriend on the list of things Rachel had to juggle around. It seemed like there wasn't enough time for it all. She was being stretched too thin and from the sound of things, Finn wasn't too happy with the cut of her time he was getting.<p>

"I just wanna hang out more, you know? We don't hang like we used to. We don't make-out like we used to."

_That _was the real problem, Rachel deduced from his long rant that she was tuning in and out of. And that was another thing she had began doing that she normally didn't do, not listening. She was a phenomenal listener most of the time. Her friends—the little friends she _did _have—always complimented her on her listening skills…when she wasn't projecting her own problems on to their sob stories.

But her mind was constantly occupied. With college, with being the best Maria she could be, with Shelby and subsequently with Quinn. She couldn't listen when she had loud thoughts bouncing around inside her head.

"I'm sorry, Finn." They came to a stop at her locker. She spun the combination in and opened it. Finn peered inside with squinted eyes.

"Where's our picture?"

"Pardon?"

He pointed to the space inside her locker where a picture of her and him or simply _him_ used to always be in the past. "You always had pictures of me in your locker. Even when we weren't dating. I used to think it was a little creepy in a cute way."

_Creepy __in __a __cute __way_. She grimaced a little inside at the person she used to be. "I can put another one in," she offered.

He kissed her on her forehead. "Sounds great. I gotta get to class. See you later, Rach."

She deposited her own books in the locker and walked down the hallway. Stopping at the bathroom, she pushed the door inside and walked in. She was met with The Skanks.

Quinn looked up at Rachel as if she was in trouble, her eyes widening. "What are you doing in here?"

Rachel slowly walked further into the room. Quinn and her friends were crowded around a bathroom stall, the sputtering of someone inside reaching Rachel's ears. "I'm here to use the restroom; that's what it's for. What are you doing in here?"

"None of your business."

"I'll give you my lunch money; please just let me go!"

Rachel's eyes widened at the helpless sound coming from the stall. She marched over to everyone and shouldered past Quinn. "Who is in there?"

"None of your damn business," Ronnie reiterated, stepping in front of Rachel. "Why don't you move along, Little Miss Good Samaritan."

Rachel glared up at her. "I don't know what you are doing with that poor person in that stall but I'm sure it's grounds for assault. I will call my fathers in here this instant! They know who to contact during hate crimes and—"

"Let her by," Quinn told Ronnie.

Rachel looked back at Quinn briefly before looking at Ronnie again. She walked past her to help the girl that was now crying out on the floor. "Are you okay?" she whispered.

Quinn watched in silence as Rachel held the girl crying in her arms. The freshman they had cornered for lunch money was now soaked in toilet water but Rachel didn't seem to mind. The front of her sweater was becoming drenched but she held and rocked the younger girl in her arms until she fell quiet.

"This blows," Sheila announced.

"Yeah, if I wanted to see some Sapphic shit, I'd watch the HBO channel at night."

"Ronnie, don't front like you have HBO. Your mom cut your cable last week to use the extra money for crack." Mack and Sheila laughed loudly at their friend's predicament as the three of them filed out of the bathroom together. Quinn continued to stand there.

"You look to be my size," Rachel told the freshman she was still coddling on the floor. "I still carry a slushie kit with clothes in my locker just in case."

"You used to get slushied?" the girl asked.

Rachel looked up at Quinn and Quinn looked away. "Yes, I did. It seems though that this year bullies have a new tactic."

The girl stood up and Rachel stood with her. "I should be okay. I have an extra set of clothes in my locker to change into after gym class. I'll just use that."

Rachel nodded sympathetically and gave the girl one last hug before she walked away. The girl passed by Quinn without a word and walked out of the bathroom. When Quinn turned back around, Rachel was staring at her with so much disappointment and Quinn was sick of seeing that look from _everybody __all __the __time_. "What?"

She walked over to the sink to wash her hands. Rachel followed behind her. "You know what. What the hell was that?"

Quinn visibly flinched at the swear but played it off. "It's what I do."

"This isn't _you_."

"Look," she turned off the water and grabbed a paper towel, "just because you don't like what I do doesn't mean this isn't me." She turned around to notice that Rachel stood between her and the doorway. She rocked back on her heels and cocked her hip to the side, giving a chance for Rachel to say her piece so that they could both leave.

"I don't like this."

"No one said you had to like it or even be a part of it. I've left glee club and I've left you alone. You're the one that keeps pursuing me."

"Because I know you have so much more to offer this school than freshman swirlies in between classes."

Quinn bristled, scowling angrily at Rachel. "You _don__'__t _know me."

"I know there's more t—"

"No, you don't!" she shouted. "You don't know anything, Rachel, so just shut up already!"

Rachel's mouth instantly clacked shut. Her eyes blazed indignantly at Quinn. "Why are you always so difficult?"

"Why are you always coming after me?"

Rachel huffed quietly at the question and folded her arms tightly against her chest. Her foot tapped impatiently against the tiled floors as if she was waiting for something. She stared Quinn down, glared daggers into her because in all the years she had known her, Quinn had been able to scare everyone except her.

Quinn stood there and took in Rachel's fiery posture with a quiet laugh, easing back into the nonchalance and not giving a fuck attitude she had picked up from over the summer. Her head tilted curiously, pink hair swishing to one side. Rachel really did seem like she was waiting for something. A knowing smirk appeared on Quinn's lips in that instant. "Oh, I know what this is about." She licked her lips and walked closer to Rachel. "You still want me."

Rachel stiffened at the accusation. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Oh, how the tables had turned.

"Don't play dumb with me, Rachel." Quinn stalked closer, her low voice now a rumbling purr. "That would explain why you've been riding my ass since school started."

A pretty blush marred her cheeks as she took a step back. Quinn followed her, the feral smile on her face increasing as Rachel unwittingly backed herself into a corner. She broke eye contact with Quinn to look at her surroundings. Wide eyes found Quinn again once she realized there was no escape. "What are you going to do to me?"

"You make it sound like I'm going to hurt you, Rachel."

"Aren't you?"

Quinn shrugged and ignored the question. Her head dipped to bring them eye level. "Do you still want me, Rachel?"

"N-no," she stammered out. "I have Finn."

She shrugged again. "Finn doesn't have to know that you like pink-haired lesbians with nose piercings."

"_I__'__ll _know."

"So, you admit that you want me?" Quinn leaned in impossibly closer. The length of her body mashed against Rachel's tightly. "Didn't get enough the first time?"

"You hurt me the first time," Rachel breathed out. Her chest was tightly pressed against Quinn's and with each tortuous inhale she felt _everything._

"And yet you still want more?"

"And you hurt yourself," Rachel continued. She felt all of Quinn's muscles go rigid against her pliant body. "Look at you. Don't act like this whole transformation wasn't because of our break—"

Soft lips muffled the last of her sentence as Quinn quickly descended upon her. Rachel tensed and fought but Quinn only pressed harder until Rachel's lips fell apart and her tongue slipped inside. She tasted of peppermint instead of cigarettes. Her hair, as Rachel's fingers weaved and tugged, was soft. Quinn's hand curled softly around her hip as she pressed even harder.

Her lips were softer than Rachel remembered. Warm and full, firm. She brought a hand up to cup Quinn's cheek, stroking the tender flesh back and forth. A soft exhale was breathed against her lips and she smiled a little.

It was like breathing—or some other cliché that meant kissing Quinn was so easy and reflex driven to the point that it scared Rachel to even think about because Quinn was the one that dumped her, left her crying and confused without so much as an explanation why. And she'd probably do it again. Rachel jerked back, hissing as her head thudded against the wall. Quinn just chuckled quietly and Rachel scowled up at her.

"This won't happen again," she muttered to herself as she slipped around Quinn.

Quinn turned around to face her. "You sure? You seemed to enjoy it."

"I'm with Finn."

"Again, why does that matter?"

"Because unlike you, I take being faithful and committed seriously."

It was out of her mouth before she could even suppress it. She looked on in horrified regret as Quinn's face bawled up into anger. "Fuck you, Rachel," she spat out.

She was out of the door before Rachel could say anything.

* * *

><p>The next day Rachel put up a copy of Finn's senior class photo in her locker. She stood back to admire the picture. Stepping closer, she twisted the picture just so, to make it look slightly askew. Girlfriends did that, right? She smiled weakly at the picture and closed her locker and walked down the hallway.<p>

No good would come from getting involved with Quinn. A few weeks ago, Rachel operated with the thought that Quinn wouldn't hurt her again and just needed time to work on herself. But the Quinn Fabray she saw in the bathroom with those…skanks, giving swirlies to younger, more naïve students made her sick to her stomach. It reminded her of the same Quinn that ordered slushie attacks on her when she thought Rachel was trying to steal her boyfriend.

Even though she had been.

But that wasn't the point. The point was that the Quinn she saw in the bathroom was not the Quinn she had once fallen in love with.

She sighed quietly and turned the corner to walk into the choir room. There was no one there besides Mr. Schuester. She deposited her books and walked over to the piano where he was. "Mr. Schue, I have some suggestions for next week's duets face off."

He looked puzzled. "But I haven't assigned an assignment to you guys yet."

"Oh, I—" she smiled a little sheepishly. "Mr. Schue, if I may?"

He leaned back in his seat, preparing for her brutal honesty. "Go ahead."

Everyone else began filing in one by one and Rachel pulled up a stool opposite him so that they could better communicate. "Your lesson plans have become a bit…repetitive. Not that I mind, it's just that, well…I _know _next week's assignment is duets and I'd like to get a jump on it while I can so that I can have as much time to prepare for Maria as I possibly can."

"Oh, that reminds me," Mercedes called loudly from the second row, staring directly at Rachel. Everyone in the room silenced as she stood from her seat. She walked to the front of the room, back to Rachel to deliver her announcement. "I, too, will be auditioning for the role of Maria." She turned to Rachel with a sickeningly sweet smile. "I figured, why not?"

Rachel hopped up from her seat. "Why _not_? How about because your _friend _wants the part?"

"I want the part, too," Mercedes replied flippantly. "And from one _friend _to another, a little healthy competition never hurt anybody."

She floundered for a comeback but none was forthcoming. Santana cheered Mercedes on and wished her luck while the entire glee club clapped for her as well. Rachel turned to Mr. Schuester and he shrugged helplessly in return.

Rachel's shoulders sank.

Mercedes was running for Maria, Quinn was reverting back to who knows what, and where the hell did Finn even fit in anymore?

This was all just shit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>It was terrifying. And really unfair. Mercedes knew how much she wanted that part. <em>Everyone <em>did. It was all she talked about. And now possibly the best contender against her in the entire school was going after something she wanted. Where was the friendship in that? Where was the loyalty?

"It's not fair, Finn," she whined.

Finn looked up at her from the car he was working on. "Wrench?" he asked.

"Are you even listening to me?" She reached into his toolbox for a wrench and handed it to him.

He smiled a little. "'Course I'm listening. But you've been talking about the same thing for the past twenty minutes, Rach. I know it's not fair; it sucks. But you're way talented so I know you'll do well."

Her frown slowly morphed into a teasing smile. "You have oil all over your cheek."

"I can fix that." He reached up to wipe at his cheek but only succeeded in spreading more oil along his face. Rachel giggled quietly as Finn leaned closer. "How's it look?"

"Umm, Finn, you have a little—here." She reached into her purse and pulled out a compact. She leveled it with his head so he could get a good look at himself. When his eyes widened she couldn't hold it in anymore and doubled over with laughter.

He grumbled a little and pouted at her. "I just need a little practice is all. And it's great since Burt works here he gives me all the hours I want. I could see myself having this job for a while."

Her laugher was cut short as Finn went back to work. So it seemed like Finn had plans after all. He had thought about his future without even consulting her. And apparently his future included working at Burt's car shop.

One of Rachel's greatest nightmares had come to fruition.

But what was even more shocking was the fact that she was oddly okay with that. But still, "You're really talented, Finn," she said quietly. "Talented enough to make it all the way to New York if you wanted."

He pulled his wrench off and held it tightly in his hand as he stared at the tire he was working. "Would it be so bad to just stay here, Rachel?" He turned to look at her. "You want Broadway and I get that. But not everyone is as ambitious as you."

She lowered her head. "You make my ambition sound like a bad thing."

"You know what I think?"

She shook her head, brown curls splashing across her shoulders and he smiled a little. "I think that your ambition is going to work out for you. You're going to New York and you're going to Broadway and you'll be successful and happy. Whether I'm there or not."

"I just—you're so much better than this, Finn."

"Rachel," he sighed. "The life that I choose to live isn't a bad one. And maybe you could try being supportive instead of telling me that I'm better than something I _want _to do."

It was a bitter pill to swallow and her throat bobbed painfully with challenge. "Okay," she whispered. She sank back on the bench she was sitting on. Her legs swayed back and forth slightly and she just stared at them. So maybe she _was _going to New York alone. Well…sans Kurt of course. But there would be no Finn.

There would be no Quinn.

And at least she knew where to find Finn if she ever came back to Lima to visit but who knew where the hell Quinn would be once they all graduated? Even though she had been more or less avoiding Quinn since their encounter in the bathroom almost a week ago, she still worried about her.

"How are you doing with Shelby being around and stuff?" Finn asked suddenly.

She cleared her throat. "I'm getting by." Her head bobbed up and down as if to reaffirm her claim. "I'm still a little uncomfortable with walking down the hallways and constantly seeing her, but I'm hoping it'll get better." Her lips twisted in thought. "I just worry about Quinn," she mumbled, almost to herself.

Finn bit his lip. It was a touchy subject, Rachel and Quinn. A subject that was easier to dodge than to tread through. The only way he knew how to deal with it was to just pretend that his two ex-girlfriends had never dated. And to pretend that Rachel's concern for Quinn was just a friendly thing to do. And maybe it did come from a place of genuine friendship. But he liked to think he knew Rachel pretty well. When she loved, she loved hard. And just as she had been insanely in love with him, she had been insanely in love with Quinn—though he hated to admit that. It just wasn't fair. It was barely logical, completely unfathomable. Out of all the people for his two exes—whom he had _no _idea had attractions for women—to end up with, why each other? It made him feel like a fool when he allowed those thoughts to creep into his mind. And he wasn't Puck, meaning he couldn't write Rachel and Quinn's relationship off as just something that was hot. He had feelings and they were stomped on completely when he learned they were together.

And they may as well _still _be together if the way Rachel's eyes sparkled or dulled to sadness when she talked about Quinn was any indication. It made him sick to his stomach.

"Hey, how about we go get something to eat?" Finn asked her, cutting off her rant about Quinn. His stomach was knotting uncomfortably and really, he just wanted her to _stop._

Rachel looked up at him. "But I thought you had to work for another hour?"

"I can clock out early." He hurriedly put his tools in his toolbox, fumbling and knocking some over.

Rachel bent down slowly to pick up the screwdriver that fell. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

He flashed a brief smile. "I'm fine."

* * *

><p>Quinn's head tipped back against the chair in Principal Figgins office. She was beyond bored. The clock on the wall behind her ticked loudly in the deafening silence in the room. She risked glancing around and found that Ronnie, Sheila and Mack had adopted the same listless appearance she had.<p>

"Well," Principal Figgins started. "Which one of you is going to own up to the crime?"

The 'crime' in question was pulling the fire alarm. The entire school was sent into a frenzy because the alarm wasn't a scheduled drill. Everyone ran out of the building at record pace. One guy lost his glasses in the mayhem and ended up in a dumpster ten minutes later.

"Principal Figgins, with all due respect, you don't even know if it was any of us," Quinn stated matter-of-factly with a shrug of her shoulders. "There are no cameras in this school." Mack chuckled quietly. She was the one that did it. And though initially pissed off, Quinn still decided to attempt to bail her out of the situation.

Mack was the youngest, only a junior. Although, she was only a year younger, her immaturity showed more often than not at times. Still, Quinn felt drawn to her for some reason. Maybe saw a little of herself in Mack. Or maybe she saw a little of someone else in her.

"Quinn Fabray, do you mean to tell me that none of your…Skanks," Principal Figgins gave pause, wincing a little, "had anything to do with this?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," she said confidently, leaving no room for argument. Sheila and Ronnie sat back in their seats. They were typically the less talk, more muscle type. When it came to charming and sweet talking to get them out of trouble, they all relied on Quinn. When it came to flirting to get out of trouble, they mostly relied on Mack.

Figgins eyed them all critically. He was waiting for one to crack. His eyes scanned over the four women. Sheila sat there cleaning her nails, Quinn made eye contact with him directly when his eyes found her, Ronnie had her head tipped back, looking towards the ceiling in boredom, and Mack was twisting a wad of gum along her finger. She winked at him.

Figgins blushed and averted his eyes. "I will let you all go for now. However, I have heard from multiple people about how your crew harasses the student body. When I catch you, you all will be in big trouble."

The warning fell on deaf ears. The girls shuffled out of the principal's office and into the hallway. They shared a secretive smile before going their different ways. Quinn was barely halfway down the hallway when a strong hand curled tightly around her arm. She looked up to find Sue glaring down at her. "Good afternoon, Q. How's your day going?"

Quinn opened her mouth to respond. "I don't care," Sue told her.

Quinn frowned as she was dragged down the hall. She puffed her cheeks out in annoyance. They entered Sue's office and she took a seat in front of Sue's desk and Sue sat behind it. "I'm not joining the squad."

"Oh, Q," Sue lamented. "Do you really think I'd ask you to rejoin my squad with the way you look? You chopped your hair and dyed those _lovely _blonde locks of yours that gaudy pink color. You look like you belong in a circus."

"Great, so how about you let me go now? We know where we stand with each other."

Sue leaned back in her seat. She turned to and fro in the chair proudly. It was a new chair. One she swindled Figgins into dipping into the school's funds for. "I have a proposition for you."

Quinn's eyes narrowed. "You just think you have all this power, don't you? Well, news flash for you, Coach Sylvester, you don't have control over me. You may still be able to manipulate Santana and Brittany, but you have _no_ power over me."

"Look at you," Sue began lowly. "You have nothing left. Just think about it." She paused and watched with satisfaction as Quinn grew angrier. "You've lost your baby, your boyfriend, your girlfriend." Quinn's eyes widened. "Don't act surprised. There isn't a thing that goes on in this school that I don't know about." She leaned forward in her chair. "Don't you want to get back at that infuriating glee club? Help me and together, we could get rid of it."

Quinn sat there quietly as she mulled over what Sue said. She really _had _lost everything. What was left to lose? Plus, she could use the opportunity to get back at Rachel for ignoring her since the day they made out in the bathroom.

"What would we do?" she asked.

Sue smiled in victory. "My congressional campaign is producing a video— 'A Day in the Life of a girl From Whom the Arts Stole Everything'. And I think I've found my girl."

"First, a few demands. I need thrift store couches under the bleachers. I've realized that after smoking all day it hurts to stand." Well, that was _partially _true. Mostly she needed the couches to sit on after school when she and her friends didn't feel like leaving but didn't want to stand under the bleachers for hours on end.

"Deal."

* * *

><p>"Just think, Kurt. If you got the part as Tony opposite my Maria, it'd be awesome!" Rachel squealed a little, jumping up and down as she stood with Kurt in front of a row of lockers.<p>

"Totally. We'd be unstoppable. That play would sell out."

"Everyone would want to come see how genius we are."

"We'd nail it."

She had decided not to worry too much about Mercedes' audition. After all, there was nothing she could do about it now. Plus, if there was one thing Leroy tried to instill in her, it was humility. And having to audition for a play alongside Mercedes would be one of the most humbling things done in her life to date.

"So, you're sure you're okay about the whole Mercedes thing? Because you've been blowing up my phone with your crazy ranting all week."

"I guess," she griped. "I'll just have to outperform her. Shouldn't be too hard." Okay, so humility would take some work. But what was so wrong about boasting about one's talent?

"Good luck, girl. Mercedes has been practicing day and night."

"As have I. Whose side are you on?"

Kurt's eyes widened. "Oh, no. We're not going down this route. I'm not taking sides at all. I will happily play alongside either you or Mercedes," he replied diplomatically. "_If_ I get to play opposite you."

"What do you mean?"

He huffed a little, picking a nonexistent lint ball from his shirt. "Blaine is contemplating auditioning for Tony."

Rachel clamped a hand over her mouth in horror. "Doesn't he know that's the number one no-no in a same sex relationship in which both partners are interested in the same activity and/or hobby? Never _ever _compete against your significant other. I shudder to think what would have happened if Quinn ever dared to go for a solo against me while we were together. I mean, granted I would have gotten the solo, but that's hardly the poi—"

"Rachel," he interrupted. "This is about me." He leaned back against his locker with a frown. "What am I going to do?"

She rubbed his arm comfortingly. "Honey, you're amazing. You're talented and charismatic. Just do what you told me and have good sportsmanship. If he gets it then be proud of him. If you get it then I can't wait to work with you."

Kurt smiled at her in appreciation. "So, I have a favor to ask," he began. He lifted from the locker and grabbed both her shoulders tightly. "This isn't easy for me."

Rachel tilted her head in confusion. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

"I heard Artie, Bieste, and Ms. Pillsbury talking and…they said I'm not manly enough for the role after my first audition."

Her expression blanked completely.

"You think I'm manly, right, Rachel?"

She bit her lip to keep from laughing and nodded quickly. "Uh-huh," was all she was able to say.

"_Rachel_," he groaned, "don't lie to me. _Help _me."

"How can I help you, Kurt?" she asked seriously.

"Help me rehearse my lines?"

* * *

><p>In the end she ended up laughing in his face during his audition when he asked her to play opposite him. But it wasn't her fault. Really. Bieste started it. Or at least that's what she told Kurt when he stormed off stage and she ran after him, apologizing profusely. Kurt had also found out that his former class president campaign manager, Brittany, was now running against him for class president. So, yeah, he was having a pretty bad day.<p>

She thought of all this as she stood offstage watching Mercedes audition. She was amazing to put it simply. Stiff competition by its very definition. It was…kind of intimidating. It was surprising because Rachel was very rarely intimidated. Unless it came to Quinn Fabray's beauty. _That _was a little intimidating. But when it came to singing and acting, those were areas she excelled in. She shouldn't have been intimidated. But she was.

She shook her head a little because Mercedes was _amazing _and took two steps back and ran into Finn. He put one hand on her hip and the other on her elbow to steady her. She turned to him with a shaky smile.

"You'll do great," he told her.

Mercedes ended her performance. She turned to Rachel with a tight lipped smile and walked off the opposite side of the stage.

Rachel walked onstage after her. She came to a stop at the center of the stage, spotlight falling directly on her blinding smile. "I'm Rachel Berry and I will be auditioning for the role of Maria." Everyone in the auditorium knew her already, but formality was good professionalism. "The song I will be auditioning with will be _Somewhere __There__'__s __a __Place __for __Us._" She willed her butterflies away as she opened her mouth and belted.

She sang beautifully. Once she sang her first note the uneasiness gave way to confidence. Everyone was impressed, some moved to tears unsurprisingly. On her last note she risked a glance to the far right row of chairs and spotted unmistakable pink hair. Her heart palpitated wildly against her chest. Her throat closed up completely and she squeaked out a "Thank you" as she bowed.

Ms. Pillsbury was the first to start clapping, followed by Artie and Coach Bieste.

"That was lovely, Rachel."

"It was tight, yo!"

"It was like spitting on a plant seed and watching it grow."

She didn't really know what Coach Bieste meant by her remark but she was smiling and that was enough for Rachel. When she looked to the top most row of seats again, Quinn was gone.

* * *

><p>Rachel did a lot of thinking that night.<p>

She lied back on her pink comforters, her arms spanned the length of her bed and she thought. At first she thought she was hallucinating when she saw Quinn on the utmost row in the auditorium. But she couldn't have been hallucinating, could she? Quinn was really there, right? And if so then, why? Quinn always seemed to be an enigma to Rachel. Anytime she thought she understood her, Quinn would do something to completely throw her off. That was what their entire three years of interacting boiled down to. She knew Quinn, knew her emotions and motives but never understood the way she handled situations.

Her phone dangled precariously in her hand as she contemplated texting her—but would she answer?

She didn't text her. Instead she reflected on her audition. Instead of just handing her the part, Ms. Pillsbury, Coach Bieste and Artie decided to do a callback with her and Mercedes. A _callback_. That really showed that she was up against stiff competition. Mercedes had been angry initially but in the end told Rachel that she had better bring her A-game because she was most definitely bringing hers. By now Rachel was biting her nails because she was so _nervous _and what if she didn't get this part? This was her final year and after looking at her grades, valedictorian felt more like a pipe dream. She had put _so __much _effort into glee club that A's and B's had turned in _lower _B's and high C's that would really only guarantee her third or fourth spot for the highest grades in her class. How would that look on a college application? The least she could have were extracurricular activities to compensate and explain away why she wasn't number one.

But she only had glee club. She only had one Regionals victory and no Nationals victory. And how small was that twelfth place trophy from last year anyway? Maybe she could ship it to New York when she sent her application. She lied there in bed feeling like an utter fool because Finn kissing her essentially cost her Nationals and where were the two of them now? Stilted and awkward. It felt more like a friendship than anything romantic and she couldn't help but wish she could take that moment back. Because losing Nationals, the look of betrayal on Quinn's face—it wasn't worth it.

But the past was the past. She was in the present now and right now she needed something other than glee club to put on her college applications. She _needed _that part in _West __Side __Story_. But she may not get it. Mercedes might get it and then where would Rachel be? She needed something else. Something that she could cling to on the off chance that she didn't get the part.

* * *

><p>"I think we should talk, don't you?"<p>

Rachel turned to Kurt briefly as he stalked closer to her locker. She took a deep breath and turned back to gather her books. "A-about the um—the upcoming deadline for the NYADA application?"

"About how you told Coach Bieste you're running for senior class president…against me." He stopped at her locker and glared down at her pointedly. Rachel bit her lip guiltily as she turned to face him fully.

"K-Kurt, you saw Mercedes, okay, I'm never going to get the part. So, I-I figured if I win I'll make you vice president and maybe you could just do vice versa." She was stammering and stumbling all over her sentences because she had the most diplomatic speech planned out but when she opened her mouth all of her insecurities came flooding to the surface.

"Rachel, if you win—yes, it'll better your chances of getting in NYADA—yes. But if I win it could make a huge difference at this school. Not just for me but kids _like_ me. Things could actually change for them."

"Kurt, that's not fair. You aren't the only one that's participated in a same sex relationship."

"Okay, there's the difference. It's not _participating_. I _am _gay. Every relationship I have will be same sex. It's not like a ping pong match and I can just switch sides whenever I want."

"How dare you make such a inflammatory comment about my bisexuality?" she challenged. How the subject had changed so quickly she wasn't sure but the moment 'switch sides' came out of his mouth her pride and anger was instantly inflamed. She pointed a finger directly in his chest with indignation. "You _know _what Quinn and I went through just to hide the fact that we were together to everyone outside of glee club because of Quinn's conservative upbringing. You were privy to all of my meltdowns and uncertainties because I didn't want to hide who I was."

"You don't have to!" he exclaimed in a hushed whisper. "No one takes bisexuality seriously!"

Rachel's jaw dropped completely to the floor as Kurt reared back in surprise at his own outburst.

"I can't believe you said that to me. You of all people," she whispered painfully. "You of all people should know about how much of a struggle it is for one to come to grips with their sexuality."

"I'm sorry, Rachel, I am. But we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now if you hadn't have decided to go behind my back and run against me."

She swallowed down a retort and turned to close her locker and stormed off.

* * *

><p>She wasn't even sure where she was going. Tears had crowded around the corners of her eyes about five minutes ago and when blinking rapidly to keep them at bay didn't work she just allowed them to flow freely. Her arms were folded tightly across her chest as her legs carried her down along the football field. Every time she thought about her argument with Kurt she found new things to be upset about. About him blatantly telling her that no one took her sexuality seriously, about the people in the hallway that may have heard them. But mostly, she was upset with herself because if she hadn't have been so selfish this wouldn't have happened.<p>

Rachel saw her before she walked up on her but she didn't have the energy to stop her feet from walking. Quinn was sitting on—Rachel tilted her head—couches? Only Quinn Fabray would be able to get couches under the bleachers outside. Rachel sighed quietly, coming to rest in front of Quinn. "Do you mind if I sit?"

Quinn looked up at her as if she just noticed she was there, her eyes concealed behind her sunglasses. "Oh, so you're done avoiding me now?"

"I wasn't—"

"Save it." She made a sweeping gesture of the couch with her hand.

Suddenly, she felt like crying all over again. And if Quinn didn't stop talking to her like she was as insignificant as gum she found on the bottom of her shoe, she just might. Instead of crying though, Rachel nodded a little and took a seat beside her. She scooted a little further away, not knowing whether Quinn wanted her so close or not. _Avoiding _hadn't really been her plan, but she was filled with so much uncertainty when it came to Quinn that avoidance just became a defense mechanism. She clutched her purse to her tightly, looking around for The Skanks. Only, she didn't see any. "Where are your friends?"

"Probably up to no good." Quinn casted a sideways glace to Rachel. "Where are yours?"

"I don't have any," Rachel grumbled.

Quinn chuckled quietly despite herself. "That's a little dramatic. Even for you."

"They're all mad at me," Rachel whispered.

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did anything?"

"Well you said 'they'—implying multiple people are mad at you. If more than one person is mad at you then chances are you're the one that's done something."

Rachel pouted a little at Quinn's deductive reasoning. "I don't know what to do." She shook her head. "I'm so stressed and just…tired. Of everyone. And of myself."

"Then just…sit there," Quinn advised. "No one's here. And no one will come looking for you here."

It was oddly the most helpful advice she'd been given in a while. So, she did. She sat there with Quinn on the couch and neither one of them said a word. There wasn't much that could be said. Rachel didn't know whether to call Quinn out on the fact that she was at her audition or not. But Quinn knew she knew—they had made eye contact, so there was really no point. But it was hard to keep silent when her ex-girlfriend was sitting beside her. She was feeling chatty. Words bubbling in her throat that she was desperately trying to suppress.

If Quinn wanted to talk, she didn't let it show. She just sat there, lighting cigarette after cigarette. At some point she had taken her sunglasses off.

"I suppose we should talk about the kiss," Rachel began, turning to her.

"Hmm, not really."

"You should probably know I'm with Finn." _Not __really_. But she felt that was the only way to ensure that Quinn kissing her didn't happen again.

"Okay."

"And you and I can't be together."

"Okay."

"So that can't happen again, Quinn."

"Okay."

She wasn't getting a reaction at all and it was infuriating. Who answers a rejection with _okay_? When Quinn broke up with her Rachel was in near hysterics and now they were face to face and Rachel was rejecting Quinn and all Quinn was saying was _okay_?

Rachel reached across quickly and grabbed Quinn's shoulder. She jerked her around until they were eye to eye. "I said that I don't want you to kiss me again."

Quinn's eyes narrowed into a mild glare and hey, there was the Quinn Rachel used to know. "And I said _okay_," Quinn told her in return.

Rachel's eyes roamed all over her face, looking for a reaction. She saw Quinn's eyes pinch tighter, her lips curl downward just a fraction. Those perfectly arched eyebrows drew together towards the middle of forehead and her nose crinkled. But damn if she wasn't beautiful while her face contorted into mild annoyance. No matter how many transformations she'd go through, it seemed she'd always be the prettiest girl Rachel would ever know. "Okay," Rachel breathed.

Three months was entirely too long, Rachel realized. She couldn't take her eyes off Quinn. She released her hold on her shoulder but Quinn didn't move. They stayed facing each other with vaguely the same inquisitive facial expressions. As if they were seeing each other for the first time. Rachel's hand hovered along Quinn's collarbone. She was so fascinated with her new transformation, though she didn't approve. Her hand lifted higher, her eyes on Quinn's nose ring. She reached out tentatively. Heat emanated from her palm as it brushed along Quinn's cheek. Her thumb stroked along the silver ring adorned on Quinn's nose The rest of her hand brushed along Quinn's upper lip softly on accident. "Did this hurt?" she whispered.

Quinn shrugged a little. "Not really."

Rachel watched as those full lips parted as Quinn spoke. The new lipstick she wore called more attention to them. The fullness of them, how soft they looked, how soft Rachel knew they'd be. How Quinn licked her lips or bit her bottom one when she was flirting or her top one when she was thinking. Rachel watched as Quinn's top lip disappeared briefly. "What are you thinking?" she asked.

Quinn's head tilted as she breathed out a quiet laugh. "Nothing you'd want to know."

Rachel was about to ask her to elaborate when her phone buzzed and vibrated against her thigh. The world seemed to crash down around her and she pulled back as if she was burned. Quinn's steady gaze stayed on her as Rachel read her text message from Finn.

_**Where r u? Kurt told me wat happened. Not cool rach**_

She sighed wearily and her phone buzzed again.

_**Btw, kurt read the final cut list and u got the part. Looks like mercedes told them she didnt wanna do it. Congratz**_

Her heart soared and clenched tightly and fell all at once. She had gotten the part. By default. Not because she was talented enough. She quickly stood from the couch, but looked back down at Quinn once she remembered where she was. "I got the part," she murmured, smiling dimly.

Quinn looked up at her. "Then what's the problem?"

"Problem?"

"You look upset."

"Oh, it's nothing," she waved off.

Her instincts told her to hug Quinn tightly in her luke warm excitement but Rachel resisted, telling Quinn goodbye as she walked back towards the school. Back towards reality. A reality where Kurt was mad at her, Mercedes was more or less not talking to her anymore because she felt Rachel hogged all the spotlight and attention, and Finn was staying in Lima instead of going with her to New York.

Maybe she would end up in New York completely alone.

* * *

><p>Finn had texted her again and told her to meet him outside of the choir room. They had about ten minutes before glee club was scheduled to begin. She walked down the hallway and found him directly outside the choir room as he said he'd be. "Hey, Finn."<p>

When he looked at her she could clearly read the frustration on his face. "Hey. Listen, Rachel, I'm really happy you got the part and all." He flashed a smile that disappeared just as soon as it showed up. "You deserved it, really. But what the hell were you thinking when you decided to run against Kurt?"

"I was thinking that I needed something to put on my college applications other than 'leading glee club to a Regionals win and a Nationals lost', Finn. I was thinking that if I won then it would look good for me."

"Did you ever stop to think of Kurt?"

"Why are you being so mean?" She looked up at him with a deep frown. "Look, I-I get that what I did may have been a tad selfish—"

"It was a lot selfish. You know how important this was to Kurt."

"And you know how important getting into NYADA is to _me._"

Finn threw his hands up in exasperation. "That's not the point!"

"Then _what _is the point, Finn? You're standing in this hallway screaming in my face for seemingly no reason, so tell me—what's the point of all this?"

"The point is you're constantly screwing your friends over because you're always acting so selfish."

She gawked in surprise. "Name another time I've done that."

"How about I name the first time you did it since I've known you. You screwed Quinn over to win me over."

_Well_…in her defense…she and Quinn weren't friends at the time. And they had gotten a _lot _closer since then, so…

Finn stepped out of the way as Mercedes walked over to the doorway. She didn't spare either of them a glance as she walked in. Rachel pointed after her, whispering to Finn, "She went for the part of Maria _knowing _how important it was to me. Why is no one calling her out on her actions?"

Finn shrugged a little. "I don't care about Mercedes. I care about you. And you need to grow up; this is our senior year, Rachel. Stop screwing your friends over or you won't have any. Again."

His last words hit home in a big way as he walked into the classroom, leaving her completely stunned and slack jawed. Kurt walked up to the door and into the classroom without saying a word and Rachel followed behind after him, for once wishing she had just skipped glee club and stayed on that couch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **I would like to send a big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing this story! I hope you all are/continue to enjoy it. :)

* * *

><p>No one was talking to her. Still. And it had been two days. Two days of Mercedes pointedly ignoring her, two days of Kurt glaring at her and two days of Finn explaining that while he understood her motives, he couldn't very well take her side while living under the same roof as Kurt. Kurt wouldn't like it.<p>

Sometimes it felt like Kurt had Finn wrapped around his finger more than Rachel ever did.

But still, Rachel found it hard to admit fault. She was a prideful woman.

…A prideful woman whom was currently making 'I'm sorry' cookies.

"Uh-oh," her father, Hiram, goaded as he walked into the kitchen. "Who are you apologizing to this time?"

She had made so many 'I'm sorry' cookies over the years that by now her parents could distinguish their smell from any regular run of the mill cookie. There were so many times to name. Such as that one time when she wanted to apologize to Mr. Schuester, one time when she accidently kicked Finn in the crotch, and another time when she inadvertently called Quinn cold-hearted. _That _was a long argument. But it wasn't her fault. Really. However, it was the first time Quinn had ever cried in front of her and it broke Rachel's heart to see her that way. She had bought her chocolates, baked her cookies and sent her a dozen roses because Rachel Berry knew romance.

"I'm apologizing to Kurt," she grumbled.

"Ah, right." Hiram walked further into the room and hopped along the counter beside Rachel's batch of cookies. "Honey, honestly, I think he owes you an apology as well. Mocking someone's sexuality can be hurtful."

She nodded because yeah—it did hurt. And she was hoping for an apology as well. Just because she grew up with same sex parents didn't mean that coming to grips with her own sexuality was easy. Especially when the person her bisexuality decided to reveal itself on was none other than Quinn Fabray. It wasn't easy in ninth grade when she first caught a flash of spanks as Quinn did a spin in the hallway in her Cheerios uniform and Rachel's stomach fluttered funnily. It wasn't easy in tenth grade when Quinn was pregnant and Rachel felt this odd protective vibe that scared her enough to cling to Finn and her heterosexuality because what the fuck did it even _mean_ to feel protective of Quinn and a baby that wasn't even hers? It wasn't even easy junior year when Quinn was back in shape and wearing these cute dresses and wedged heels that made Rachel's mouth water.

It wasn't easy until Quinn made her come clean about her feelings and not only accepted them but she _returned _them. It was easy then to kiss her and touch her and discover a side of herself that she otherwise tried her hardest to ignore. But just because it became easy didn't mean Kurt could completely shit on her sexuality like there was never a struggle.

"I just don't want to lose his friendship," she told Hiram. "Y-you know me. I don't have many friends and he's the best one I've ever had. I can't lose him, dad."

He smiled in sympathy for his daughter. Making friends was never easy for her and for years he blamed the way he and his husband raised her. He feared that they raised her to be _too _vocal and it was off putting for many of her peers. But he never tried to change her and he disapproved greatly when she tried to change herself to please others. It took a lot of teaching but eventually he and Leroy were able to instill a since of self into their daughter and a confidence that she otherwise lacked.

"I know it's hard to lose a friend, sweetheart," he began softly. "But you also have to stand up for yourself and sometimes…you have to stand alone if necessary."

She dropped the cookie she was decorating back onto the pan and leaned against the counter heavily. "What if I don't want to stand alone?"

"Rachel, it's good practice. Do you think someone's going to stand beside you when you give your acceptance speech for a Tony? Would you even _want _anyone to stand beside you then?"

Rachel smiled faintly with a quiet laugh. No, she wouldn't want anyone standing beside her when she gave her acceptance speech, when the spotlight was on her and she got to thank her legions of fans, her parents, the love of her life…whomever that may be.

Hiram smiled at the look on her face. "You'll be fine, Rach. Apologize, accept his apology and everything will be fine."

"I smell 'I'm sorry' cookies!" Rachel groaned quietly as Leroy walked through the threshold of the kitchen. "Okay, which one of you owes someone an apology?"

"Your daughter, of course."

Leroy walked into the room and kissed Hiram and Rachel on the cheek. "Sweetheart, there's never a dull moment with you, is there?"

"Don't tease!" she whined.

Leroy lifted his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not! You're honestly the most entertaining daughter I have."

"I'm the _only_ daughter you have."

"You don't know that," Hiram told her with a mischievous grin.

Rachel folded her arms tightly with a huge pout. "I hate it when you guys gang up on me."

Leroy laughed good naturedly at his daughter's misfortune. He hopped up on the counter just as Hiram had, with Rachel nestled between them. "So, other than you needing to apologize to someone at school, how are things going so far?"

"Lovely," she replied brightly. "I got the part of Maria!"

"Congratulations, honey," Leroy told her with a wide smile.

"As if there was any doubt," Hiram piped up.

"But I got it by default. You remember when I told you Mercedes was going for the part, too?"

They nodded and she continued.

"Well, she was amazing. So amazing that instead of just giving me the part we were both issued a callback." She took a deep breath. "The only reason I got the part is because Mercedes dropped out at the last minute. If she hadn't have done that, then she might have gotten the part instead of me." She looked down at the batch of cookies with a frown. "So, there. That's how I got the part."

Leroy looked completely confused. "I don't understand why you're pouting so much. You're Maria. That's what you wanted, right?" He looked towards Hiram. "That's what she's been talking about for the past three weeks, right?"

Hiram chuckled a little with a nod. "That's what she's been bugging us about."

"Ha-ha," Rachel replied dryly. "That's not the point."

"Then what's the point?" Hiram asked.

"The point is that I wasn't talented enough to get the part without Mercedes stepping down."

"This coming from the woman that gets the most solos in glee club." Leroy scoffed. "I think you're more than talented for this part, sweetheart. As a matter of fact, I can't wait to see you perform so I can record it and send everyone in our family a copy."

"You're the most talented granddaughter on both sides," Hiram said.

Rachel smiled a little. "Well, I guess I _am _more talented than cousin Sarah."

"Much more," Leroy told her. "So, how are classes going?"

"Everything is fine. Classes are going well."

Hiram casted a sideways glance at Leroy before clearing his throat. "How is Quinn? We haven't heard much about her aside from the fact that she's apparently back, which is wonderful. Goodness knows how much your father and I worried about her over the summer."

It had been a nerve wracking summer in the Berry household. Rachel worried about Quinn's disappearance every day and, subsequently, so did Leroy and Hiram. They had called the former Mrs. Fabray multiple times over the summer to check on Quinn and the best Judy could offer was that Quinn was alive and kicking, in the streets and rarely came home. Rachel called Quinn's phone non-stop, left voicemails and text messages that went unanswered. The Berry men were often times privy to their daughter's mini-meltdowns all summer about Quinn's whereabouts.

"She's great," Rachel told them flippantly. "She has a new group of friends now, she quit glee club, she hardly talks to me," _aside __from __shoving__ her __tongue__ down __my__ throat_, was how she finished that sentence in her head.

Leroy cleared his throat. "Well, how's Finn?" he asked in an attempt to steer the conversation to less turbulent waters.

"He's staying in Lima, apparently. Looks like I'll be going to New York alone."

"Oh."

Hiram frowned in sympathy while Leroy fought back a smile. He never really cared for Finn. He lacked the levels of ambition his daughter had and when Rachel was dating him, she still came home at the end of the day in a different outfit than the one she arrived to school in because she was still getting slushied. He had often times found it hard to accept Quinn as Rachel's girlfriend because of their tumultuous past but at least when Rachel was dating Quinn she wasn't getting slushied.

They all sat there in silence and Rachel stood there decorating the cookies, contemplating whether or not to tell them that Shelby was back in town. Finally, she just went for it because the honesty policy in her house was something all three of them had all advocated for years and she'd feel bad neglecting it now. "Umm—" she cleared her throat. "Shelby is teaching at McKinley this year."

She looked back down at the platter of cookies as silence fell over the room. Hiram was the first to speak. "Does she have a reason for being here?"

"Other than trying to swindle our daughter right from under us? I don't think so."

"Daddy, please," she said quietly. "I'm not too sure what her actual job is—I should probably ask that. But what I do know is that she isn't trying to…swindle me. As you know she adopted Quinn's daughter."

Leroy rubbed his forehead. "Yes, I remember. I remember how awkward things were between you and Quinn in the beginning."

"Well, we had a family dynamic to work around that otherwise wouldn't have been there if—but that's beside the point. The point is Shelby is here and I just wanted the two of you to know because our honesty policy has always been enforced in the past."

"Yeah," Leroy grumbled with discomfort. Then belatedly added, "Thanks." Having Shelby around for a second time was sure to give his daughter a complex if she didn't have one already. He didn't condone fighting of any kind, especially women but whenever Shelby came around he always felt the need to protect his family. She was like a wolf closing in on a small herd of sheep. She could easily separate the weakest one—Rachel—from the herd and take her away at a moment's notice.

"Thank you for being honest with us, dear," Hiram said.

"No problem, dad." She decorated one last cookie and placed it on the platter. After careful deliberation, she smiled and plucked three from the pile. She handed one to each of her fathers and proceeded to eat the third one.

* * *

><p>The next day she promptly stopped by Kurt's locker early in the morning with a bright smile. She thrusted the plate forward. "Kurt Hummel, I humbly extend an apology to you for my transgressions."<p>

Kurt turned to her with a wary expression. "You're sorry?"

She nodded with an even wider smile.

"If you're sorry then why are your campaign posters posted all over the school?"

Her smile dimmed at the question. "K-Kurt, I already started my campaign. I can't very well back out now just because of our spat. I made you cookies and I'm extending an apology because I'm genuinely sorry for hurting you." She lowered her plate of cookies. "And I was hoping you would apologize too."

Kurt closed his locker. He blinked rapidly with incomprehension, folding his arms across his chest. "You apologized so you could get an apology in return?"

"I apologized so that you would forgive me and that we could move on. However, I do expect an apology for you making fun of my sexuality."

"I didn't make fun—"

"You said no one takes bisexuality seriously. That was mocking at its finest." If she hadn't have had the plate of cookies in her hands they'd be placed firmly on her hips.

"Fine. I apologize for mocking your sexuality."

"And I apologize for—"

"But if you think I'm going to accept your apology for something that you're going to continue doing, then you're wrong."

He turned to walk away but she grabbed his arm. "Kurt, t-there's nothing wrong with a little friendly competition."

"No. But there _is_ something wrong with backstabbing. And the fact that you're too prideful to drop out of the race makes it even worse."

"You would have done the same thing if you were me," she whispered as he walked away.

"And you wouldn't have forgiven me for it either."

"Yes, I would have." She swallowed thickly. "Kurt, you know I don't have many friends; I would have forgiven you for this."

He kept walking.

* * *

><p>Avoiding Shelby was harder than she thought it'd be. Correction, avoiding <em>Beth<em> was harder than she thought it'd be. She dreamed of her constantly. Every night she dreamed of her daughter, short curly blonde hair, small pouty lips, small fingers that curled around Quinn's hand and held tight. Just like she did the day she was born. Beth clung to her tightly and refused to let go until the very last possible moment. And Quinn watched, eyes blurry with tears as Beth was pulled away from her for the last time. The last time she and Puck saw her was in the nursery at the hospital. The nurse had asked her if she wanted to hold her one more time and Quinn shook her head silently. She couldn't bear to look at her again because she knew if she had she would have tried to keep her.

But Quinn felt so much like a failure now she couldn't bring herself to see her daughter. She was too embarrassed and ashamed to face her. How would Beth view her? Would she be afraid of her? If Quinn saw her and the first thing Beth did was cry it would break her heart into shambles. She didn't want her child to be afraid of her.

Would Beth recognize her? Even though Quinn knew it was impossible, she could dream.

And dream she did. She dreamed that Beth was with her, that she was holding her, close to her breast and protecting her. In her dreams Beth loved her, called her mommy and gave her the sweetest kisses to her cheek Quinn had ever known. It sent her heart fluttering, caused the widest smile to grace her face.

And Rachel was there. Her image fluttered intermittently behind Quinn's eyelids. She would smile. Her smile was brilliant and she'd giggle happily, whispering Quinn's name in that warm, affectionate tone of voice. Then something alarming happened. Rachel leaned forward and kissed Quinn chastely on the lips.

Quinn shook from her sleep abruptly. She rolled over onto her back and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Sleep became tears that spilled messily down her cheeks. "Damn it," she whispered. Chest heaving, she turned over and curled into her pillow, weeping silently.

* * *

><p><em>Have u made up with Kurt yet?<em>

That's what the note that was tossed into the back of her head. Rachel groaned quietly, rubbing the back of her head and turned to glare at Finn. He smiled sheepishly and mouthed _I__'__m __sorry_ to her. She turned back around to give a response.

_I tried to apologize but he won't accept my apology._

Rachel discretely folded the letter up and passed it behind her to Finn. Then she straightened up in her seat to pay attention in class. Mr. Schuester wouldn't take too kindly to her interrupting his Spanish lesson and she might end up paying for it later by way of _not _getting a solo in glee club. She turned her notebook to a clean sheet of paper when Finn launched the letter to her again, this time beside her desk.

_Y not?_

She cursed inwardly. It was a simple question, really, but she didn't really want to answer it.

_Because__ I__'__m __still __running __for__ president_.

She bit her lip with uncertainty and folded the paper up to return to him. She looked up to Mr. Schuester writing on the board but the door opening caught her attention. In walked Quinn with a pair of her rounded sunglasses on and a giant cup of coffee in her hand. She looked exhausted. Her feet trudged forward to take her to her seat right in front of Rachel. She barely spared a glance in Rachel's direction before plopping down into her seat.

Rachel quickly tore a sheet of paper from her notebook and began scribbling on it. She waited until Mr. Schuester's back was turned to the class to tap Quinn's shoulder with the note. Quinn flinched at the tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Rachel's wide, concerned eyes on her. She looked down toward the sheet of paper and took it from Rachel.

Rachel leaned back in her chair just as Finn's note was launched onto her desk again.

_Y r u still running for president? We talked about this_

Quinn unfolded the paper Rachel handed to her to read the note inside.

_Quinn, are you alright? Are you ill? Tired, perhaps? Why do you have those sunglasses over your eyes—do you have a black eye? Were you in a fight? Are you okay? I hope you answer back._

Quinn groaned quietly. There were entirely too many words on that paper for her to process this early in the morning. She contemplated ignoring it but knew if she did Rachel would only keep writing her. Instead, she grabbed her coffee, chugged a big gulp for energy and leaned down towards her satchel to retrieve a pen.

Rachel smiled brightly as she watched Quinn begin to write on the paper. She felt a kick on the back leg of her chair and instantly remembered that she had to reply to Finn.

_Because it would look unprofessional to drop out of my campaign just as quickly as it began. I know this is awkward for you, Finn. You must feel really trapped between your brother and me. And I know this may only serve to add more stress, but I have to ask. Can I count on your vote?_

She was nervous to send the note back but she did it anyway. Quinn turned around to hand the note back to her. Rachel gave her a heartfelt smile. Finn's head peeked up over Rachel's shoulder to see her and Quinn passing notes.

_I'm fine, Rachel. Just a little tired._

Rachel could practically hear Quinn's raspy voice forming the words she wrote onto the paper. She sat it down gently and went to scribbling away again as Finn did the same behind her. And Quinn…Quinn was halfway paying attention. The smile Rachel gave her reminded her of her dreams and it was getting damn hard to take notes on conjugating verbs. Rachel tapped her shoulder again and Quinn grabbed the paper without looking back this time.

_Are you not getting an adequate amount of sleep at night? Young women need an average of eight to nine hours of sleep per night in order to function at their best each day, Quinn. I surely hope you are getting your hours in._

Quinn's eyebrow rose higher and higher on her forehead with each sentence she read. It amazed her how much Rachel still cared even after all this time. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why Rachel still gave a damn.

_Idk, Rachel. U and Kurt are both important to me I'd have to give that some thought. Really wish u wouldn't run this won't be good_

Rachel frowned at the note. Was Finn really not going to vote for her? She grabbed her pen, ready to write a reply when the bell rang. Quinn rose from her seat abruptly. Throwing her satchel across her shoulder and walking out of the room. Rachel fought the urge to run after her and demand an answer. An inadequate amount of sleep could be detrimental to one's overall physical and mental health. But she didn't chase after her. She still didn't know what to make of Quinn. It seemed as if her ex-girlfriend had reverted back to her old ways of bullying but there were times when they could just have a somewhat normal conversation that made Rachel question everything. Then the whole kiss thing really startled her and made her want to run for the hills because if Quinn were to drag her back in only to break her heart a second time Rachel may not bounce back from that one.

She felt a hand brush her arm and startled backwards, only to realize it was Finn. He gave her an unsure smile.

"So, you aren't going to vote for me?" she asked.

The smile slipped from his face completely. He rocked back on his heels and jammed his hands into his pocket. "I…Rachel, I don't know—"

"I understand." She nodded a little because she did understand…a little.

"Walk you to class?" he asked, instead.

"No, that's okay. I'll walk myself. I'll see you after school, Finn."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Are we throwing water balloons at the band geeks today or not?<strong>_

That was the message from Mack that caused Quinn's thigh to vibrate while she was walking down the hallway. She read it and sucked her teeth in annoyance because that _was_ the original plan…before she walked into biology class and was hit with a shit-ton of homework. She came to a stop in the middle of the hallway and leaned against a locker as she typed her reply.

_**Yeah. What time?**_

She put her phone back into the pocket of her skirt and looked up and instantly doubled over with laughter. Rachel had her class president campaign poster up and she was wearing her eager smile. Quinn looked across the hall and Kurt's campaign poster was right across from hers. Then she looked a little ways down the hall and there was Brittany's poster. This was just too rich. Her eyes darted back to Rachel's poster again and she broke into another fit of giggles. "This is why everyone's so pissed at her, huh?" she murmured to herself.

The bell rang signaling the end of the day and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She peeled her eyes away from Rachel's poster, from Rachel's smile and looked down to see…Rachel. There were times when Rachel just seemed larger than life and there were times when she looked so small and fragile. This was one of those times. She took slow, measured steps until she was in front of Quinn. The floor felt like quicksand, every move she made towards Quinn further cemented her in that spot with no escape.

They both stared at each other in the silence that surrounded them. Lately, neither one ever knew where to begin a conversation. Or even if they should begin at all.

Quinn cleared her throat a little and slouched against the locker beside her. Her eyebrows rose upward. "Heard you're running for president."

Rachel looked up at her poster with a bemused smile. "I wonder where you got such a preposterous idea like that from."

Quinn's left shoulder lifted into a lazy shrug. "I have my sources."

Rachel giggled quietly. _This_ was the Quinn she dated. A bit of a smart ass, but their banter was infectious and always made Rachel smile. But was this the real Quinn? Or better yet, _who_ was the real Quinn?

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked as her eyes drifted to her poster once more. "I count on your brutal honesty."

"Sure."

"I—do you think my running for senior class president is selfish?"

"Yeah."

"But—"

"Rachel," Quinn interrupted, her voice coating Rachel's name. She always had a way of saying her name that made Rachel constantly want to hear it, whether it was in reprimand or not. "As far as I know—and I admittedly don't know much because I'm hardly at this school on a given day to begin with—"

"Perhaps you should pay attention to your attendance record—"

"—but from what I know, Kurt was running first, then Brittany turned coat and started running after she swore to be the best campaign manager for _him_ that she could be. And now you, his best friend, are going to run against him. Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Yes, but—"

Quinn leveled her with a look that clearly meant _shut __up__ and __listen_. "You don't always have to steal everyone's spotlight, Rachel."

Rachel walked closer, telling herself that she could barely hear Quinn because she was speaking so lowly. "I'm not. I just want to have something to call my own, Quinn. I want to be special."

"You are," Quinn told her before she had a chance to think about what she was actually saying. Her eyes widened and she backed away from the lockers to stand up straight. "I mean, you…you already have Maria, right?"

Rachel nodded a little, ducking her head in shame. She already had something to make her special, so why steal Kurt's time in the sun? That was already something Mercedes was accusing her of doing and she was proving her right in this moment. Rachel walked closer to Quinn. She looked up at the poster and back down to Quinn with obvious intent. "Help me take them all down?" she asked. "I guess I won't be running anymore."

Quinn looked up at the poster and nodded. "Yeah, we already have to deal with that smile on a daily basis. Why subject people to a picture of it, Berry?"

Rachel scoffed, flipping her hair across one shoulder. "I have a lovely smile, thank you very much, Quinn."

Quinn laughed stiltedly because that was all she could really do. After dreaming about that exact smile, she couldn't exactly verbalize a refute to Rachel's claim.

Rachel took Quinn's silence as a victory and skipped off to get a stool.

Quinn sighed and slumped back against the lockers. She pulled out her phone to find another text from Mack.

_**NOW**_

_**I can't. I'm busy right now.**_

She slipped her phone in the pocket of her skirt as Rachel walked back with a sheepish smile. "Thank you for helping with this, Quinn. Everyone's been telling me that I shouldn't be running but I don't know, I…I guess I just didn't listen because—"

"You needed a different perspective."

"Yes. Thank you."

Quinn offered a lopsided grin. "You typically take my advice. I don't know why."

"You're very level headed," Rachel offered. "I've always thought that's what, you know, balanced us out. I was always the over the top one that pushed you to do things you never thought you were capable of and you were always the one that talked me down from the metaphorical ledge when I got ahead of myself." She looked to Quinn's suddenly guarded expression. "And now I've made things awkward with my rambling," she said quietly. "Sorry."

Quinn waved it off. "Don't apologize. I just…never knew you gave that so much thought."

"Didn't you?" Rachel asked.

She stood there silently, contemplating answering Rachel's question. "I—we should probably get…started." She took the stool from Rachel and stood on it to hover over the lockers.

Rachel sighed quietly and trailed behind her. "I'll spot you," she called from below.

She watched as scragglers began to file out of the school one by one. Then looked up to make sure Quinn was balancing well enough on the stool and gulped quietly. Quinn's skirts sure had been getting shorter since school started. This one came to about mid-thigh. Black fishnet stockings created a stark, yet oddly appealing contrast against her pale skin. Rachel wasn't into fishnets in the slightest but Quinn really did pull them off well. Her eyes trailed down shapely thighs to rest on the knee socks that adorned her calves. She smiled a little. "I like your socks."

Though she couldn't see it, pink dusted Quinn's cheeks just a smidge. "Thanks," she grumbled.

Rachel's eyes trailed slowly back up Quinn's legs, over her ass, and, "Ryan Seacrest? _Really_, Quinn?"

"It sounded like a good idea at the time, alright?"

Rachel hummed quietly in obvious disbelief. "I hardly think there's ever a time when a Ryan Seacrest tattoo is appropriate."

"Are you calling me stupid for getting it?"

Rachel smiled. "Not at all. Did it hurt?"

Quinn hissed in a quiet breath when she felt gentle fingertips ghost along her lower back. "A little."

"Maybe it would hurt less to get it removed."

"Tell me how you really feel about it," she replied sarcastically.

Rachel shoulders shook with quiet laughter below at Quinn's annoyance. It felt comforting to be able to slip back into their old banter, a safe zone. Where both of them got along. Rachel stood back to give her room to concentrate on what she was doing.

Quinn pulled jerkily on the poster for the fourth time but it wouldn't budge. "Geez, Rachel, did you super glue these things or what?"

"Heavy duty tape," she chirped. "I had to make sure no one snatched my poster off the wall."

"Great," Quinn replied derisively. She gave another hard tug and the bottom right corner came free. She kept peeling away until the entire poster came off. "Alright, that's one down." She handed the poster to Rachel.

"Do you need help getting down?"

Quinn looked at her with incredulity. "Rachel, I spent how many years being a cheerleader? I've dismounted more pyramids than I care to admit; I think I can handle hopping off a stool."

They walked down the hallway and turned right onto another. Then they went to the second floor and on to the third. Quinn hopped up the stool again and began taking the last poster down. "So, I'm assuming you made Kurt 'I'm sorry' cookies?" she asked to make conversation. She wasn't really sure _why _she was suddenly so interested in making conversation with Rachel but it was better than doing this in silence.

"I made him a batch," Rachel called from below. "But he didn't accept them."

"Give them to him again," Quinn advised. "Only this time tell him that you _actually _backed out. And hey, just because you're not running for president doesn't mean you can't run for vice or something. As far as I know none of your friends are running in that category. I mean, you'd be 'second' technically, but at least you'd still have your friend."

Rachel smiled a little at all this advice she was suddenly getting form Quinn. It reminded her of when they used to date, how much more efficient and formidable they were when they worked together instead of against each other. "Thank you, Quinn."

"For what?" she asked distractedly as she tugged and jerked the poster harshly.

"For all of this. I'm sure there's something else you could have been doing with your time."

"It wouldn't have been productive anyway."

Rachel nodded sullenly, knowing that whatever Quinn would have been doing instead of helping her would have probably been detrimental to herself or whoever else was involved. "You work so much better when you're with m—"

Quinn quickly hopped down from the stool to stand directly in front of Rachel. Rachel's mouth clamped shut in surprise at their sudden close proximity. "Don't make this any more difficult than it already is," Quinn whispered, looking down at her.

"_This_, what?" she mumbled before she could stop herself.

Quinn leaned down closer and grabbed Rachel's hand. She pried it open and stuck the rolled up poster into her palm. She looked at Rachel daringly then, as if reading her thoughts and daring her to act on them.

Rachel gasped quietly when Quinn took another bold step closer, her body heat setting them both on fire. "I'm not kissing you," Rachel whispered tremulously.

"Why not?"

She felt her stomach knot and quiver at the low purr of Quinn's voice. "Because…" With Quinn standing practically on top of her it was hard to find a reason. "Y-you're not the same person you were when we were dating. Don't think I forgot about how I caught you bullying that freshman, Quinn."

Quinn's head lolled to the side with a heavy sigh. "Not this again."

"And don't think I don't know about you teaming up with Sue to bring glee club down again."

The somber look on Quinn's face told Rachel all she needed to know. She couldn't even make eye contact with those big accusing brown eyes. "Very reminiscent of the tenth grade version of yourself, wouldn't you agree?"

"I wasn't really going to do it," Quinn grumbled.

She moved to take a step back but Rachel reached out to grab the front of her sweater just below her breasts. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Quinn's head rolled to the side until she was making eye contact with Rachel. "Who are you? Do you even know?"

When she didn't offer an answer, Rachel continued. "A couple of weeks ago I would have jumped at the chance to have you back. But I refuse to be the girlfriend of a bully, Quinn. How much longer is it going to be before you're targeting me again? You already agreed to help Sue demolish the glee club."

"I already told you I wasn't going to—"

"You're reverting back to your old ways. And I don't—I can't—" She broke off into a pained whisper and _then _Quinn actually paid attention. Tears were gathering in Rachel's eyes. "I'm not going to sit around and watch this happen to you. You've come so very far, Quinn. I can't watch you go back."

Her grip on Quinn's sweater tightened the barest hint before she pulled back. Rachel bent down to collect the rest of the posters off the ground. Quinn watched her quietly. How did their light banter and conversation go this badly this quickly? Rachel took a steadying breath and righted herself before walking down the hallway, wiping her eyes. "Goodbye, Quinn."

Quinn sighed quietly as she watched her go. She shook her head angrily, taking her phone out of her pocket to read the message she got from Mack fifteen minutes ago.

_**Loser**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**R

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N 1:**I have never, nor will I ever pretend to have seen _West __Side __Story_—it's just not my thing. That being said, I did go through the script and pull a few lines. The internet is only but so reliable so if there is anything wrong—wording or punctuation wise—with lines from the play that I have posted in this chapter or any subsequent chapters then I apologize.

**A/N 2: **I'm posting this chapter early because I have exams this week and wanted to crank one out before I started them.

**Warning:**(Because I know if I was about to read something I didn't want to read, I'd appreciate a warning.) I hate to give away the ending of this chapter like this but I figured it's only fair to give you guys a heads up. Long story short, Rachel and Finn make out at the end of this chapter; Quinn and The Mack make out at the end of this chapter. If you want to skip this chapter and wait for the next, I completely understand. However, since this is a fair warning, I really don't want to read flame reviews about how this is a Faberry story and including other ships is somehow unfair. Any scene I write in this story is used to advance the plot in some way and the scenes at the end of this chapter are no different. To those that are going to read anyway, I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

><p>About two weeks later rehearsals began full force. Rachel had had minimal contact with Quinn since the day Quinn helped her take her posters down. She didn't see her much either, which must have meant Quinn was in and out of school.<p>

With that Rachel simply threw herself into the part of Maria. It was really the only thing she had at this point. Aside from running for senior class vice president and she still wasn't sure if she was going to campaign for that or not.

Right now Maria was really the safest bet.

Only, there was _one_ slight problem…

Well, not a _problem_ really, just…creative differences.

Rachel and Blaine got along about fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent was spent bickering over creative differences. During school hours they got along just fine. During rehearsals was often a different story. She could recognize that the main reason she and Blaine didn't hit it off often was because they were too much alike to be able to function together, but that didn't lessen her dislike for him most of the time. He was like an annoying little brother. She often times wondered what she saw in him during her brief week long crush on him. She blamed it on her having an overactive infatuation with his talent. Because although extremely annoying occasionally—Blaine was talented.

"All of you! You all killed him!" Rachel shouted. "And my brother, and Riff. Not with bullets, or guns, with hate! Well, now I can kill, too, because I have hate."

Rachel bowed, signaling her ending and Ms. Pillsbury began to clap. "Brava!"

"I'm not sure about this," Coach Bieste said.

"You gots to briggity-bring it next time, dog," Artie told her.

"I'm inclined to agree. You were reciting lines as if someone stole your puppy with the arm they chopped off you."

"Coach Bieste, I'm not sure I understand," Rachel said.

"I'm saying I felt something, but not enough. You need to _feel_."

"I do feel."

"Not like that," Artie told her. "You should stop thinking about this as Maria feeling loss and start thinking of it as _you_ feeling loss. Yes, you're playing Maria, but you also need to embody your character's pain. Think of someone important to you that you've lost. And channel that pain." Artie look his glasses off and wiped at his eyes. "Brittany, I miss you!" Everyone jerked back at the sudden outburst. "I just—I need a moment." He pulled back from the table and wheeled down the aisle. "Anybody gonna help me out?"

"I'll help." Coach Bieste got up from her seat and walked over to Artie. "Rachel, I would take all of this into consideration."

She helped him down the aisle and out of the auditorium. Silence prevailed in their absence. Rachel ducked her head, silently critiquing her own performance. Had she really been that bad? Were people really not feeling the emotions behind her performance? She was a phenomenal actress, if anyone could connect to this part, it was her.

"Okay!" Ms. Pillsbury stood from her seat. "I hope you will both take these criticisms as they were intended—to help, not to hinder. That being said, Blaine, it was said that it was best that you smile less. Especially during parts that specifically call for no smiling."

The smile that was already working its way onto his face vanished completely. "R-right, of course."

"Rachel, it was said that you really need to feel your part. Dig deep. Your character spends many scenes with emotions ranging from deep love and affection to grieving the loss of someone she cared deeply for that was taken from her before she was ready. You have to be able to navigate those feelings in a believable way."

"I can assure you, Ms. Pillsbury, by the time we put on this show, I will have mastered Maria."

Emma nodded to the both and left the auditorium shortly after. Rachel pouted a little, kicking her foot back and forth. "Am I really that bad?" she whispered to herself.

"Hey." She looked up as Blaine walked over to her. "For what it's worth, I think you're a great Maria."

She grinned. "For what it's worth, you have a dazzling smile."

"Rachel Berry, are you trying to hit on my man?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes at the grin that broke out on Blaine's face. She turned around to find Kurt skipping over to them. That had made up over the phone a couple of weeks ago after Quinn had helped her take her posters down. She apologized, Kurt apologized, and then he drove over her house so they could watch _Singin__' __in__ the __Rain._" I think we both know where Blaine's loyalties and affections lie."

"Blaine, we should go to the mall!" He hopped over to his boyfriend's side and interlocked their arms. They shared a goofy smile. Kurt turned back to her. "You can come if you want, Rachel."

She quickly waved them off. "No, you two go ahead and enjoy yourselves. I'm going to stay here and practice some more. Have fun!"

"Fabulous! We'll see you tomorrow!" He tugged on Blaine's arm and together they waltzed out of the room.

Rachel turned to walk to the center of the stage, directly in front of the spotlight. Months from now people were going to be filling the rows of seats to watch her perform. She needed to be perfect. Flawless. She needed—

"Need some help?"

She looked to the back of the auditorium to find Shelby walking down the aisles toward her. "What about closed rehearsals don't you understand?"

Shelby smiled a little. It seemed Rachel had grown a bit of a backbone in her absence. "From what I _understand_, practice is over now."

"Still, you shouldn't be here."

"I'm just trying to help. And whether you like me or not, it'd be wise to take advice from someone that's played this character eighteen times."

Rachel groaned inwardly. Shelby was right. She had played the character enough times to know her inside and out. Enough to be able to give her pointers on how to best portray her to evoke emotional reactions from the audience. How to morph the part into not just a character, but an extension of Rachel herself.

"Fine," she conceded. "I guess I could use some pointers. Artie and Coach Bieste said that I'm good but I need to better feel Maria's pain of losing a loved one. I need to feel the passionate all-consuming love that she feels for Tony."

Shelby pursed her lips in thought as she walked onto the stage. "I understand completely." She smiled. "I'll let you in on a little secret."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest. But she couldn't hide her curiosity. "What is it?"

"My director told me the same thing when I first began playing her."

Her eyes bulged. "Really?"

Shelby nodded. "So, it's possible to improve from here. Immensely so. But first, Rachel, honey, you gotta feel that pain. Having first-hand experience with a wide range of emotions is essential for any actor."

Rachel looked on with mild confusion. "I _can _feel. I know pain and hurt and sorrow. I'm a teenaged girl after all."

"Do you know passion?"

She colored and sputtered under piercing eyes and Shelby instantly caught on. "I don't mean _that_ exactly." She chuckled quietly. "Goodness knows, Rachel, I'm not ready to know about my little girl doing _that_ yet."

Rachel frowned. "I'm not your little girl."

"Rachel, you'll always be my little gir—"

"No, I won't," she said. "I have two fathers; I'm _their _little girl."

Shelby folded her arms across her chest with a tight nod. "Fair enough. How about we just get started then?"

"I'm sorry if I—"

"No, you're right. You're absolutely right. So, Maria?" Shelby walked closer. "She has passion. Fiery passion. She loves fiercely and hurts even more so. You cut her she bleeds; she is the personification of a human being, Rachel." Shelby looked down at her daughter. "And so are you. So, just feel."

"Everyone keeps saying that!" she exclaims in frustration. "I don't understand what that means."

"Recite that same line to me. The line that Artie and Bieste stopped you on."

Rachel's eyes narrowed. "You've been spying one me this whole time?"

"You wouldn't let me inside, would you?"

She didn't bother to answer. She took center stage again, looking directly into the spotlight. "All of you! You all killed him! And my brother and Riff. Not with, bullets, or guns, with hate! Well, now I can kill, too, because I have hate."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why?"

Shelby walked to her and put her hands on Rachel's shoulders. When Rachel stiffened she still didn't move. This was the closest they had been since she popped back into her life.

"Think of Finn."

"Excuse me?"

"Think of losing Finn. Think of how angry and bitter you'd feel if all of a sudden Finn was snatched from you. You'd never get to see his smile again. He'd never walk you to class again. How do you feel?"

"A little sick to my stomach," she whispered.

"Good. Now do it again."

"All of you! You all _killed_ him! And my brother, and Riff! Not with, bullets, or guns, with hate! Well, now I can kill, too, because I have hate."

Shelby bit her lip to fight the smile threatening to break through. "Better. Not great. But better." She pulled away to give Rachel some space.

"Thank you," Rachel murmured.

"I'm excited to see you in this play."

Shelby walked over to the edge of the stage. She sat down, crossing her dangling legs. Hesitantly, Rachel followed suit. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked as she sat down.

"Of course."

"Why did you come back? I don't mean to be rude, but you're kind of disrupting people's lives."

"Whose lives?"

"Mine, Quinn's, Puck's."

Shelby sighed quietly with a humorless laugh. "Quinn really doesn't want me here."

"You remind her too much of what she can't have."

"I tried to give her a chance with Beth."

Rachel straightened instantly. "What do you mean?"

"I told her if she got her act together then she was more than welcome to see Beth and be a part of her life."

"That's fantastic!" she exclaimed. "She must love that; what did she say?"

She sucked her teeth, trying to control her ire. "She told me that I wasn't Beth's mother and had no right to be issuing visitation rights to the 'real mother.'"

Rachel reared back, looking down at her hands. "That doesn't really make sense. If she loves Beth—"

"She does."

"But how can she if she hasn't even tried to make a change within herself to see her?"

Shelby looked down at her, her gaze heavily pinning Rachel and forcing her to pay attention. "A mother's love for a child is one of the most basic instincts, Rachel. Whether Quinn shows it or not, I know she loves Beth. That's the one thing that's keeping me from completely taking my deal off the table. She'll come around."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then…then I'll just raise Beth the same way I've always been. Noah Puckerman has been to see her."

"He's loved her from the very beginning," Rachel said with a smile. She looked down at her hands, biting her bottom lip in contemplation. It was all so confusing. Who would have thought that Puck would have jumped at the chance to see his daughter while Quinn dragged her feet? It seemed like it would be the opposite. Quinn was the one to carry Beth inside of her and give birth to her. If anyone in this world was tethered to that baby for life, wouldn't it be Quinn? But Quinn was acting so detached. She was acting like…like Shelby acted with her.

Rachel swallowed thickly. "I hope Quinn comes around." She didn't want Beth's life to be like hers with a laundry list of questions and confused emotions. "W-were Quinn and Puck all you came here for?"

Shelby smiled down at the lost expression on her daughter's face. She reached out an arm to wrap around Rachel's shoulder and pulled her closer. "Of course not. You were and still are my number one priority."

She tried as discretely as she could to wipe the tear from her eye. "Just because we're having this moment doesn't mean I completely forgive you for—"

"I know, Rachel," she said gently.

"I may never forgive you."

She nodded. "I understand."

"But thank you…for being here," she whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>u going to school today?<strong>

Quinn paused packing her satchel as she read the text from Ronnie.

**What ****else ****do**** you**** have ****in**** mind?** she sent back.

**NOT going to school. duh**

She shook her head a little before replying. **Either ****give ****me**** something ****better ****to**** do**** or**** I****'****ll ****just**** go ****to ****school.**

Her phone buzzed in succession after that.

**fine**

**prude**

**were going to macks house to smoke drink and watch tv**

**u n or not?**

She weighed her options briefly. She could either go to school and spend hours walking listlessly through the hallways or she could hang out with her friends. She could go to school and have to see Shelby…Rachel…Puck or she could go make fun of Sheila and Ronnie and make out with The Mack.

And sure, she could probably convince Rachel to make out with her in school but where would the fun be in that if Rachel just spent ten minutes after lecturing and guilt tripping her? At least with Mack it was a no strings attached deal. No one got their feelings hurt and no one cried or felt guilty after.

Was there really any question?

**I'll come over.**

* * *

><p>Rachel and Finn walked side by side down the hallways as if it were any other day. And truthfully, it was. Rachel hadn't exactly told him about Quinn cornering and kissing her in the girls' bathroom. She also hadn't told him how easy it was to get lost in the moment and kiss Quinn back. Or how all of the feelings she had been trying to suppress for Quinn since school started were bubbling up to the surface at an alarming rate. Affection had always been the easiest part of her relationship with Quinn. It was the talking and relaying feelings that took effort on Quinn's part. But it was over now. Completely. And Rachel wasn't going back. Because going back was just begging for more pain and she had had enough of that for a while.<p>

They stopped in front of Rachel's class and she grabbed his hand, giving it a light tug. Finn smiled down at her and leaned in for a kiss. Rachel ducked her head slightly and the kiss landed on her forehead. Finn leaned back to look at her confusedly. "Something wrong?"

Rachel shook her head. "Nothing. I have to get to class now. Have a good day, Finn."

She smiled and waved goodbye before walking into class. She walked to her favorite desk. It was the perfect location in the room. Smack dab in the middle. It was close enough to the front of the room for her to be able to be in the running for the teacher's favorite and far enough away to avoid any projectile spit that the first two rows may experience.

Just as the bell rang, Santana came sauntering in the classroom. Normally she sat in the very back and made spit wads to hurl at students. Boredom always sparked her delinquent streak and since Brittany didn't have this class, Santana was often bored.

It was to Rachel's chagrin that Santana's eyes zeroed in on her. Her lips curled into a predatory smirk as she walked over to the seat beside Rachel and sat down. "I see you're into dick again. Good for you."

Rachel tensed at the remark. "You don't have to be so crude."

Santana laughed mockingly. "Wow, you're a bigger prude than Quinn ever was. By the way, how's the Joan Jett wannabe doing?"

She sighed quietly. "I wouldn't know. We don't really talk often."

"Yeah, she doesn't really talk to anyone anymore except for her new friends," she replied spitefully.

Rachel eyed Santana critically. "Are-are you jealous?"

"Does it _look _like I'd be jealous, Berry? It's not like Q and I were ever close."

"Yes, but…you tried to get her to rejoin the Cheerios and come back to glee."

Santana shrugged. "Just because she was good and could have been used on the squad. And because in glee we need as many people as possible to be able to qualify. I was just thinking about the trophies, really."

Rachel nodded though she was wholly unconvinced. "I see."

"Whatever. So, what's up with you and Finncompetent? That was some sexual hand hold out there," she mocked. "You guys _almost _had chemistry."

She ignored the verbal jab. "Finn and I are…just fine."

"So, are you gonna fuck soon?" she deadpanned.

Rachel blushed furiously. "You can't just ask people that!"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Yes or no? I mean, you guys have been together off and on for a while."

"Finn and I aren't ready for that step in our relationship."

"You mean _you_ aren't ready. Because I'm pretty sure Finn is ready."

Rachel scowled. "I'm sure you know all about how ready Finn is considering you took his virginity against his will."

At that Santana laughed loudly. "Against his will? Please." She leaned forward. "Look at me. I'm hot. I don't have to force a guy to have sex with me; they're all ready and willing participants. And Finn was one of them."

Rachel turned around to face the front, ignoring Santana as best as she could. The whole Finn and Santana hooking up thing was a nonissue in her life, but it was still annoying hearing Santana talking about it. "Perhaps you should pay attention to the teacher."

"And perhaps you should listen to me. What happened to that whole no sex until twenty-five shit?"

Did Finn complain to _everyone _about that? "I didn't say Finn and I were going to be engaging in intercourse any time soon. You just assumed."

"Yeah, okay, I assumed because you aren't getting any younger and his stamina isn't getting any better. And the end is near. For everyone. Look, fuck him or don't, I don't care. I was just curious and this class is boring, so I figured we could talk." Rachel turned to look at the wicked smile on Santana's face. "From one experienced girl to a girl that's not so experienced. I could give you pointers."

Experience? Pointers? That piqued Rachel's interest.

"Okay," she sighed. "Say I _did _want to engage in inter—"

"Have sex with," Santana interrupted.

"_Have__ sex __with_ Finn. What would I do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"What are you, a parrot?"

The teacher looked over at them and they both ducked their heads. Rachel already had a sheet of paper out and a pen in her hand. She pretended to scribble notes while Santana searched her bag for a nail file. "What do you mean by nothing?" Rachel whispered.

"I mean just tell him," Santana replied as she looked for her nail file. "He'll take care of the rest. This is _your _first time. He should make it special."

She was shocked that Santana actually gave her good and helpful advice instead of making fun of her. "Does it hurt?"

"Not after the first three to five times."

Her eyes practically bulged out of her head but she bit her tongue. Was it really going to hurt that badly for that long period of time?

"And say if I—" she bit her lip nervously. "Say if I wanted to become a better actress and be able to relay passion more believably. Would sex be able to help me with that?"

Santana smirked. "My motto is, sex can help with anything." Her head tilted curiously. "You and Quinn do it?"

"We didn't have the opportunity."

"Pity." Santana leaned back in her seat with her nail file. "She looks like a good fuck. At least now." She smirked over at Rachel. "Would you mind if I hit it?"

Rachel glared at her and Santana laughed even louder. "Come on. I could teach her a few tricks then send her back to you."

Her lips pressed tightly together. "I would appreciate if you stayed away from my—_Quinn_," she stumbled. Rachel avoided eye contact as Santana lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. Perhaps this was going to be easier than Santana had initially thought. Class ended a half an hour later and Rachel rushed out of the room. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Santana walked out and was greeted with a peck on the cheek by a bouncing Brittany. "How was class?"

Santana linked their pinkies. "It was great, B."

Brittany frowned. "I don't like that look, Santana."

"What look?"

"You have your mean smile on and you only have that smile when you're about to be mean to someone." Brittany looked over her shoulder to see Rachel swiftly walking down the hallway. "Did you do something to her?"

"Not really _to _her. I'm just using her as a lesson to show Quinn what happens when she ditches the two of us."

Brittany's frown deepened. "I don't like this."

Santana leaned up to kiss her on the cheek. "No worries, Britts. I got yo back."

* * *

><p>Quinn collapsed onto the couch between Sheila and Ronnie. "Move your ass," she muttered to Sheila. She fished under the couch cushions for Mack's TV remote and flicked it on.<p>

"I wanna watch that _Teen__ Mom _shit," Ronnie called.

"Turn to _Scooby-Doo_!" Mack shouted from the kitchen.

"Hell no; turn to _Ellen_!"

Quinn and Ronnie turned confused faces towards Sheila and even Mack stuck her head out of the doorway from the kitchen to get a good look at her friend.

"_What_?" she asked defensively. "She's pretty fly for a white chick, alright?"

Quinn snorted out a laugh. "Whatever you say." She turned the TV to _The_ _Ellen__ Degeneres__ Show_. Sheila settled further into the couch.

Mack walked into the living room with a plate full of sandwiches. She smiled down at the three occupants of the couch. "It's like we're our own little family. I've never had one of those before."

"Me neither," Ronnie said.

"Who has?" Quinn quipped.

Sheila broke eye contact with the TV. "Not us."

Mack sat the plate of food on the table in front of the couch. Three hands dived out for a sandwich, but she caught Quinn's hand before she could make it there. "You come with me."

Quinn's lips curled into a smile as she stood up to follow her up the stairs.

* * *

><p>"How much longer are we gonna study, Rachel? I'm bored."<p>

Rachel pulled her book down to peer at Finn at the bottom of her bed. He had already tossed his history book to the floor. "What else would you like to do?"

He grinned and clambered up the bed to lie beside her. "Maybe we could spend some time together like I've been suggesting?"

She stared up at him, biting her lip with uncertainty. Could she go through with what Santana suggested? Could she really have sex with Finn? _Now_? Well, not now but certainly within the upcoming weeks. Maybe she wasn't ready, but maybe…

Maybe it could help her acting. A passionate romp with Finn would certainly help her portray the role of Maria with more feeling and accuracy than trying to do the role as a virgin.

Finn leaned down to kiss her and she let the thought linger in her mind as she leaned back against her pink bedspread and he settled more fully on top of her. They weren't together. That's what her mind kept screaming but the ever growing artist inside of her took what Shelby said to heart. Experience was needed to be a good actress. And if having sex with Finn Hudson, her ex-boyfriend, was going to give her anything, it was experience.

Like Santana.

* * *

><p>Quinn groaned at the feel of Mack's blunt nails scratching at the nape of her neck. It was a spot she hadn't realized was sensitive until she had started dating Rachel. Her brief night with Puck didn't involve much foreplay before penetration and Finn wasn't the best person at foreplay to begin with. He fumbled a lot and applied too much pressure in the wrong places and not enough in the right ones. But Rachel was attentive. And she seemed to always know where to touch. She knew when to use her hands, lips, or teeth, or all three to create an even <em>better<em> sensation. Quinn never knew her body was capable of feeling pleasure before Rachel. She had never masturbated and hadn't had boyfriends that could create the yearning and flare of burning in her stomach like Rachel could.

"Feel good, hottie?" Mack purred when she heard Quinn's quiet moan.

"Too much talking."

Quinn covered Mack's mouth with hers. Her lips were warm and soft and if Quinn shut her eyes tight enough, she could pretend she was kissing Rachel.

Not that she was pretending or anything.

* * *

><p>Quinn's lips were softer, Rachel noted. She always tried her best not to compare her ex to her…ex, but it proved impossible when there were so many differences. Quinn's body was lithe and curvy, where Finn's was hard and rigid. Finn had soft lips but they occasionally chapped after more than ten minutes of making out. Quinn's were impossibly softer and only seemed to soften and swell even more after making out. They would turn a darker pink color that just made Rachel want to kiss her harder. And when those pedal soft lips puckered together and pressed firmly at the base of her throat just <em>so<em>—

Rachel moaned loudly and arched up into Finn's unyielding body at the thought. His hand deftly slid under her back and up her shirt, only to fumble with the clasp of her bra. Rachel smiled, half amused. She pushed a little on his shoulder until they both sat up and unclasped her bra for him, slipping it out of her shirt.

He watched in awe as she performed the magic trick. It never failed to arouse him. "That's so awesome."

She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer. This was normally the time where they exchanged _I __love__ yous._ Back when it wasn't set in stone that Finn would forever be tethered to Lima, Ohio. Back when his lack of ambition didn't bother Rachel as much. Back when Rachel wasn't so wrapped up in Quinn that it proved impossible to think about anyone else.

Instead, she grabbed the hand that rested idly on her stomach and slipped it under her shirt. Finn's calloused palm slid over her breast like sand paper and she hid a wince at his touch being just shy of painful.

* * *

><p>Quinn kissed a purposeful trail down Mack's neck. She suckled the soft flesh beneath her lips. She pressed her lips to the base of her neck and was rewarded with a small shiver. Mack didn't react the same way Rachel would have. Rachel would have come completely unhinged, arching and bucking and threatening to move closer, to have Quinn's entire mouth devour her completely.<p>

Still, Quinn moved back up her neck and attached their lips. Their arrangement was honestly still better than any arrangement with Rachel would have been. Mostly because Rachel wouldn't just go for an _arrangement_. She didn't do no strings attached. And apparently she didn't want to do anything that involved Quinn either. Whatever.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she wasn't even aware she had been flipped over until she saw Mack look down at her, straddling her hips easily. Her fingers trailed down Quinn's throat, the valley of her breasts, down to the hem of her shirt. Quinn looked up at her with an arched eyebrow.

"Can I finally get under this shirt?" she asked.

"You act like you've been dying to do it forever. We've only made out a couple of times."

"Is that a yes?"

Quinn hesitated, but answered. "It's a no."

* * *

><p>"Finn? Finn?" she panted quietly.<p>

Finn lifted his head from her neck and looked down at her. "What? I'm not hurting you, am I?" His fingers flexed around Rachel's aching nipple and she hissed quietly.

"No, not at all. But—" she grabbed his hand and removed it from under her shirt. Her nipples were hard and tingling because she had spent the past ten minutes comparing how Finn pinched her nipples to how Quinn used to pinch, roll, and _tug _at one nipple until Rachel was begging her to do the same to the other. For someone that hardly ever _looked _at her own body, let alone touched it, Quinn was an amazingly fast learner. She paid attention; whatever Rachel liked Quinn would do it over and over again until Rachel was writhing, going into sensory overload and begging her to stop.

She pulled back and sat up, bringing Finn with her. She opened her mouth to ask before she lost her nerve. "Finn, how would you feel about intercourse with…me?"

Finn smiled broadly, his entire face lighting up. "I think that would be the most awesome thing ever. But…I thought you didn't want to until you were—"

"I remember what I said," she replied, groaning inwardly. If he started throwing out 'buts' and 'what ifs' then she'd quickly back out. "But I—I think I'm ready now."

He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Are you sure? I mean, I don't even have a condom or anything."

"Not tonight," she said quickly. "But maybe within the next couple of weeks? If you want." She looked down and fidgeted with her hands because holy shit—was she really going to do this? She had to, right? Because right now losing her virginity could very well be the difference between a wonderful, believable and heartfelt portrayal of Maria, and a caricature of the real thing. She was dedicated to the stage and nothing would show that dedication more than sacrificing the one thing she held closest to her for it.

But why did it feel wrong? And why did her mind's eye keep conjuring up the same look of betrayal on Quinn's face that she saw when Finn kissed her at Nationals?

Finn leaned down and kissed her right where her eyebrows were furrowed together. "Of course I want this. What guy would turn down sex? It's gonna be awesome."

She smiled dimly as he leaned down to kiss her. In about two weeks from now she was going to be the best Maria anyone had ever seen next to her own mother.

But why were her eyes burning? Why was her stomach knotting in anxiety and why the hell couldn't she get Quinn out of her head?


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Thank you guys for not freaking out over the last chapter for the most part. Bright sides are coming, I promise!

* * *

><p>She was awoken by a harsh shake to her shoulder.<p>

Not awoken by a knock on her door.

Someone _shaking_ her shoulder.

And not just anyone.

Her _mother_.

Judy harshly shook her back and forth until Quinn groggily sat up with the deepest scowl on her face. "What is it?" she rasped out, voice thick with sleep.

"What the hell is this, Quinn Fabray?"

She instantly perked up at her mother's growling tone and swearing. Her bleary eyes cleared until she was staring at a white paper with line after line of black ink printed on it. At five in the morning that paper held little importance to her. "I don't know. What _is _it?"

"It's a letter from truancy!" Judy bellowed. "You have missed more than five days in the past two months of school. Where have you been going?"

Quinn ran a hand through her mussed hair. From all the yelling on her mother's end, this seemed serious. Judy normally didn't wake up from her alcohol induced comas until a half hour before she had to be at work. The fact that she was up and _in __her __room __without __knocking _alerted Quinn to the fact that she needed to answer the question. Now.

"Nowhere," she whispered.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray," she gritted out through her teeth. "Answer me right now. I have put up with you keeping odd hours _all_ summer because I figured that was what children did when they got to be a certain age. I allowed this change in you that I don't approve of—with your dyed hair, tattoo _and _nose ring. I _still_ don't know how to feel about you telling me that you have a preference towards women but I'm dealing with it the best way I can." She took a deep breath and leaned in closer to Quinn. And if Quinn was ever scared of mother's wrath, it was in this moment. "What I _refuse_ to tolerate is you skipping school for _any _reason. So, tell me why you haven't been in school."

Quinn blinked rapidly to keep tears at bay. She pursed her lips tightly together, but they still trembled. What was she supposed to say? The usual response every juvenile delinquent answers with—school is for losers? Or was she supposed to tell the truth and say that seeing Shelby there broke her heart in new ways she never knew existed because she was the one thing standing in the way of her and her baby?

And even worse, was she supposed to tell her mother that not only did she have a preference for women, but seeing her _ex-girlfriend_ at school was sometimes too much to bear? That seeing Rachel parade around school with Finn made her sick and sad and—what?

"Tears will not get you out of this, Quinn." She hadn't even realized she was crying until Judy reprimanded her. "Answer me."

"I don't know!" she shouted. "I don't know why I do it."

"You listen to me, Quinn," Judy began gravely. "You go to school this morning and every morning for the rest of this year. How can you embarrass this family even more with your poor attendance and even poorer grades? Do you want people to gossip about you more than they already do at church on Sunday?"

"No," she whispered, hanging her head. She wiped at her eyes and stared angrily at her navy blue bed sheets. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Judy open the letter and read it again.

"Just listen to this mess," she began. "To the parents of Quinn Fabray, we regret to inform you that your daughter has a total of seven unexcused absences from school thus far in this nine week interim." She mumbled quietly to herself for a while then projected her voice to read the ending of the letter. "Subsequent absences from school will result in a visit from truancy and possible removal of the minor from her home."

Quinn looked up sharply. Tears marred her cheeks as her wide, red-rimmed eyes found Judy. "What?"

"They'll take you away," Judy whispered. She looked up from the paper and Quinn saw tears shining just as brightly in her mother's eyes as she was sure they were shining in her own. The paper fell limply from her hand. "Is that what you want? Is this family not already broken and small enough without your father?"

"No, I—" she swallowed a lump down her throat. "I don't want them to take me away."

"Quinnie, I get that you think that you're grown. What young girl doesn't around your age? But you need to understand that you have a responsibility to go to school and if you don't they _will _take you away and send you into foster care or worse, make you live on your own. And you can't make it out there on a simple McDonald's budget, honey."

She nodded, ducking her head under her mother's disappointed scrutiny. Judy stood from the bed. She grabbed the paper from the floor and sat it in front of Quinn. "I want you to go to school today, Quinn. And I want you to go to class and pay attention. Don't think I didn't see that F you got on that math quiz last week."

She nodded again and Judy left the room.

Quinn sat perfectly still in her bed, inhaling and exhaling shuddery breaths until the tears stopped flowing. There never seemed to be a bright side in life. Even when she was content to crash on Mack's couch with the Skanks all day and watch TV, there was _still_ something that would come along and shatter the only sense of normalcy she felt. She didn't want to go to school and see Rachel and Shelby. She didn't want to think about Beth. She didn't want her heart to hurt all the fucking time. All she wanted to do was to be the most content she could possibly be.

She sighed heavily, flipped back the covers and got out of bed to start her day. After having that encounter with her mother, she couldn't really go back to sleep. She showered and put her clothes on to trudge down the stairs and into the kitchen. The smell of bacon and eggs wafted through the air around her and she followed it until she saw her mother at the stove. Judy looked up to see Quinn's red-rimmed eyes looking at her. She sighed tiredly. "Have a seat, Quinn."

Quinn took a seat and less than five minutes later Judy served her a plate. Judy sat down opposite her with her own food. When she noticed her daughter go quiet again she spoke up. "I want you to go to school today, Quinn."

"Yes, ma'am," Quinn whispered.

"And I want you to stay there the whole day and learn something."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And you're going to come home and tell me what you've learned."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You're the smartest, brightest child I know and I refuse to sit here and watch you squander it away for nothing. I love you, Quinn, and I've only always wanted what was best for you."

Quinn nodded in understanding because although Judy's attempts at showing her love had often times been misguided and at times she ended up selling Quinn out to save her own ass—like when Russell kicked Quinn out though Judy knew long before he did that Quinn was pregnant—Quinn never doubted that her mother loved her.

She just had an odd, selfish way of showing it.

It was a Fabray thing, after all.

* * *

><p>Quinn deposited her calculus book in her locker. She sighed quietly and grabbed her art textbook. She saw a tall figure lean along the locker next to her and turned to find Puck staring down at her. He had the dopiest smile on his face she'd ever seen. "What's got you so happy?"<p>

"I saw her," he said quietly, happily.

She nearly dropped her textbook. "What do you mean 'you saw her?'"

"What do you think? I went to Shelby's house and I saw her."

"How does she look?" she asked before the thought to open her mouth even occurred.

"Beautiful. She looks so much like you. She even does that little eyebrow thing," he furrowed his eyebrow to demonstrate how Beth looked at him when he first saw her. "Reminds me so much of you."

Her heart ripped out of her chest and landed right on the floor, barely pulsing. How much more could she take? "When did you see her?"

"Last night. Shelby said I could come over."

"When are you going to see her again?"

"I don't know. But I'm hoping soon."

"I want to see her," she whispered. She really, _really_ did.

Puck reached out to touch her shoulder gently, giving it a light squeeze. "You know what you gotta do, Quinn. And it's worth it just to see her. She's amazing."

"I-I don't know if I'm ready."

She looked lost like the day she invited him to her house and complained about being fat. He couldn't resist wrapping her into his arms then and he couldn't resist now. He stepped forward and though she was reluctant, she eventually settled into him and his arms wrapped comfortingly around her. "She's so beautiful, Quinn. I know you said we're not good for her and maybe you're right, but where's the harm in seeing her?"

She nodded against his shoulder, taking shaky breaths, wondering why her mother made her come to school.

"What if she ends up—"

"She won't be us."

"How do you know?"

"Because if you were in her life, I doubt you'd let her go through everything you've been through."

Quinn turned more, burying her face in his shoulder as she felt her eyes burn with hot tears. Puck clutched her tighter, shushing her quietly. "I'd take care of her," she whispered.

"I know you would."

That was really all the validation she needed in that moment.

* * *

><p>"Alright, guys, settle down." Mr. Schuester stood quietly in front of the room as he waited for his students to situate themselves. Rachel and Finn sat beside each other on the first row. Artie wheeled around to sit beside Rachel. Tina and Mike sat on the second row. Kurt, Brittany and Santana sat on the top most row. "Where's Puckerman? And Mercedes?"<p>

Santana was the first to speak up. "Maybe he's finally in prison."

"Maybe she got lost in a maze," Brittany replied.

"Enough," he said sternly before the ball could get rolling and everyone in the room started speculating. "We're a family, guys. Why is it so hard for you guys to get that? I have a right mind to send you all out to look for them both right now."

"Mr. Schuester, with all due respect, we're only a couple of months away from Sectionals and we need all the help we can get," Rachel piped up. "I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say that I am sick of losing. I'm sure Noah and Mercedes will come soon."

Mr. Schuester looked skeptical but with everyone nodding in accordance with Rachel for once, he couldn't put of much of an argument. "Alright. We'll get started." 

* * *

><p>Quinn did the best she could with staying away from the back hallway during school hours all day yesterday, but today she found she couldn't. That was where Shelby's office was. But after talking to Puck, she found herself unable to stay away. The way he described Beth, the way his eyes lit up with excitement—she wanted that. She wanted to see her daughter and hold her and press little kisses to her face and hear her giggle, but she was so scared. She was scared Beth was going to be afraid of her, that somehow her little girl was going to be disappointed, that by being her in her life, Quinn was doing her more harm than good. No one knew like Quinn that sometimes knowing your roots was a bad thing. She came from verbal abuse and alcoholism and at times, she felt that was all she had to offer. Whereas people like Rachel didn't need both biological parents to live a happy and healthy life. In fact, she got along better without her biological mother than Quinn did <em>with <em>hers.

The most and possibly only selfless thing she had done in her life was give her daughter away and she felt like she was reneging on that one act. But she felt so connected to Beth. She felt she could at least try. Maybe a peek was okay. Maybe just…seeing her briefly would be fine.

She stood at the door to Shelby's office and took a deep breath before knocking on it.

"Just a minute!" a voice called from inside. The door opened and Shelby poked her head outside. "Quinn, hi," she said, completely caught off guard. She opened the door a little wider and stood upright against the frame. "How are you today?"

"Good, thanks." She bit her lip nervously. "Can I come in?"

Shelby looked back inside the room, then back at Quinn, her expression unreadable. "Yes, of course."

The door opened more fully and Quinn walked inside. She looked around to find Rachel sitting in a nearby chair. She looked troubled. Quinn's brow furrowed as she looked from Rachel to Shelby. "Oh—um, if this is a private mother/daughter thing I can just go—"

"You're fine, Quinn," Shelby said with a small smile. "Rachel and I were just…discussing some matters. I assume you'll be going to see her in _West __Side__ Story_?"

"Sure," Quinn replied noncommittally. She was becoming uncomfortable. Rachel was behind her and wasn't talking and looking upset and she felt like she was intruding on an intimate moment between them. "Listen, I can go and just come back another time. Really."

"Nonsense, Quinn, I was just leaving." Rachel rose from her seat to walk across the room to them. Her face looked cloudy with sadness as she walked closer and Quinn breathed in deeply when Rachel brushed against her. Those big, brown eyes looked up at her briefly before they flicked to Shelby. "Thank you for your help."

She walked in between them and out of the door.

"Okay, what was that about?" Shelby asked when Rachel was out of earshot.

"What?"

"I know you and Rachel never really got along from what I gathered almost two years ago, but now—" she shook her head a little. "I don't know. I don't sense animosity, per se, but things are definitely awkward between the two of you."

Quinn arched an eyebrow at Shelby's train of thought. It seemed that Rachel had never told her about the two of them dating last year. And Quinn sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to tell her.

"Whatever the case," Shelby continued. "I just want you to know that I won't tolerate you bullying my daughter while I'm here."

"I don't bully her," Quinn stated firmly. "I haven't ordered a slushie attack on her or called her names in…I can't even remember how long."

"Good."

The conversation lulled to stop and Quinn looked up at Shelby mutedly. She didn't really know where to begin or if she could even put her pride aside to have this conversation. Finally, she just went for it. "I heard Puck got to see her," she whispered.

Shelby's head dipped in understanding, making her look almost sheepish. "He did."

"I want to see her."

"I already told you that you need to clean up your—"

"Let me finish."

Shelby inhaled deeply but held her tongue as Quinn continued.

"I'm not ready to see her yet. I'm not good enough to see her. But when I get there, when I'm good enough, I want to see her."

Shelby nodded. "Okay."

"But can I—" she groaned quietly in annoyance at having to beg Shelby for a picture of her own daughter. "Can I have a picture? Please."

Shelby smiled a little because she had never known anyone that could beseech and command all in one breath. "I just so happen to have one handy." She walked over to her desk and reached under it to retrieve her wallet. She walked back over to Quinn as she fished around for a picture. Finally, Shelby pulled out a wallet sized photo and handed it to her.

Quinn gingerly grabbed the photo and clasped it tightly in her hand. Her sharp eyes softened as she ran over the most recognizable face she had ever known. Beth's short hair was blonde and curly, her small lips stretched into a wide grin, her eyes shining with youthfulness and mirth. "She's so tiny and perfect," Quinn breathed in awe. It amazed her that something as wrong as sleeping with Puck could create someone so perfect and pure. She took a shuddery breath as a tear slipped down her cheek. "She's so amazing." Now she knew why Puck couldn't stay away. She knew that once she finally got to see and hold Beth for herself that she'd never be able to stay away either.

"Does Puck have a photo?"

"No, he doesn't," Shelby told her. "It's funny because just by looking at Puck the other day when he was with her, I saw certain characteristics of his that reminded me of her." She smiled. "They share the same facial expression when they're confused."

Quinn gurgled out a watery laugh that hurt more than anything. "I can only imagine."

"But looking at you now, I see some of Beth."

Hazel eyes snapped up to Shelby. "Really?"

"Aside from the green tint in your eyes that you both share? Yes." Shelby leaned forward to point out Beth's eyes in the tiny picture. "But aside from that, Beth has a serious disposition at times that could have only come from you because Puck is, well…Puck."

She laughed again, more about the fact that Beth was like her than the joke about Puck.

"And she does this eyebrow thing—"

"Puck told me," she said, giggling even more. "I'd love to see that."

The conversation died again as Quinn became even more engrossed in the photo. She _had _to see Beth now; there was no longer a question. She just needed to work on herself first. The last person she ever wanted to see disappointment from was her own daughter. "Anyway, thanks…for this."

"No problem, Quinn. Take care."

"Yeah, you too. And take care of her."

"You have my word."

Quinn held the picture tightly, walking towards the door. "See you around. Give Beth my love."

* * *

><p>Quinn quickly slung her bag and books into the back seat of her car. She swung her car door open slipped her sunglasses on her face before stepping into her car.<p>

"Hold on, skank!" a loud voice called from across the field. Quinn looked out her window to see Santana running full speed after her. She rolled her eyes and turned her car on to roll up her windows. She was putting the gear into reverse when Santana approached the car and started banging on the windows. Quinn glared up at her and revved the engine, threatening to back up without a care in the world if Santana's sneakered feet got ran over.

"I will cause a fucking scene if you don't get out of this car!" were the words she heard through the window, albeit muffled. Quinn sighed quietly, looking out of her rearview mirror. No one was around and she really _could_ crush Santana's toes and pull out of the school parking lot, laughing all the way home. Instead, the rational side of her took over and she put her car in park and rolled down her window.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"Oh, nothing," Santana cajoled. "Just wanted to check up on my _ex_-best friend to see how she was doing."

"Cut the crap. You never treated me like a best friend when we were 'best friends' so don't start now. What do you want?"

Santana's neck rolled with obvious attitude. "Fine. Step out of the car."

"Why?"

"I gots things I need to say to you, alright?" At Quinn's skeptical expression, Santana sighed loudly. "Come on already!"

Quinn killed her engine and swung the door open to step out of it. Santana eyed her up and down a couple of times. "Still rocking this look, I see. No wonder Berry decided to give her berries to Finn."

Quinn's blood ran cold, her attention snapping to Santana quickly. "What did you just say?"

Santana shrugged in nonchalance. "Oh, nothing. I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Santana, what the fuck did you just say?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing. So, how've you been?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I. Can't two girls have a normal conversation after school in the parking lot?"

Quinn was quickly losing her patience. She looked over Santana's shoulder to the football field behind her. Her eyes squinted. "Looks like half the girls are already stretching out and it's what—" she turned around and reached in her car for her phone. She found it and looked at the time, "uh-oh!" Quinn turned back to Santana with foe sadness in her eyes. "It's already four-fifty. You only have ten minutes before you have to be on the field _completely_ stretched. You know how merciless Sue is when you catch cramps during backflips." Quinn took a threatening step closer, all pretenses dropped. "Unless you want to find yourself on the bottom of that pyramid _again_, I suggest you start talking."

"Touchy, touchy," Santana tutted as she sidestepped Quinn. "No need to get your undies in a bunch. After all, she isn't _your _girl anymore, right? Berry can bone anyone she wants to."

"Where did you get your information from?" she questioned, not taking any bait Santana threw out. "Did Rachel tell you this herself?"

"More or less. I may have helped."

A lone, blonde eyebrow piqued in curiosity and anger. "You _may _have helped?"

"So nice to finally have your attention, _captain_!" Santana spat.

Quinn ran a hand through her hair in frustration. None of this was making sense. Santana was throwing pot shots at their friendship while also telling her that Rachel was planning on having sex with Finn. The two didn't add up no matter how hard she was thinking about it. "Did you actually _tell_ Rachel to have sex with Finn?"

"She was curious about sex so I helped her out a little." Quinn's shoulders tensed more and more the more Santana spoke and it gave her a little thrill to still be able to get under her skin. "Why so upset, Q? Your face is getting all red."

Quinn peeled her sunglasses off her face and looked around the parking lot. Rachel's car was already gone. She looked back over to the infuriating smirk on Santana's face. "Glee club doesn't practice today," Santana told her.

Quinn couldn't even stand the sight that insufferable grin on Santana's face. "If she has sex with Finn, so help me, Santana, I will—"

"You'll what? Fight me again? We all remember how I dragged your ass across the floor the first time."

Quinn stepped closer into her personal space. They were practically nose to nose. "Let's see if you can do that a second time."

Santana gulped inaudibly, only now noticing that Quinn was just a smidge taller. But tall enough that when they were this close she had to look up to meet her eyes. Quinn's narrowed eyes held Santana's for a few more agonizing seconds before she took a step back. She got back into her car and stared her engine.

"You're leaving already, friend?" Santana asked.

Quinn looked up at her. Santana froze at the expression on her face. "You were never my friend. If you were then you would have helped all those times I needed it, _especially_ when I was pregnant. If you were my friend, you wouldn't have been trying to compete with me for Puckerman. If you were my friend, you wouldn't have told my—_Rachel_," she stumbled, "to sleep with Finn. You were _never _my friend and you never will be."

Quinn quickly shifted gears and put her car into reverse.

Santana barely had time to step back before Quinn was pulling out of the parking space and out of the parking lot.

* * *

><p>Even Santana wasn't going to ruin Quinn's day. She raced home, just shy of speeding and pulled into the driveway. She quickly ran through the kitchen, heading for the stairs.<p>

"Hold on a second, Quinn." Judy called from the living room.

She froze, just shy of the first step. She walked over to the living room to find her mother sitting on the couch. "Um…good afternoon?" she tried.

"You too, dear. Now, have a seat."

Quinn grumbled quietly as she walked into the living room and sat on the couch beside her mother. The picture of Beth was resting snuggly in her bag and she was itching to hang it up on her wall. "How has your day been, Quinnie?"

"It was alright, actually. All things considered."

Judy smiled. "Great. Now, tell me what you've learned today."

"Mom, are we really going to do that?" she groaned.

"Yes, we are. Now, spill. What are children learning nowadays in school?"

Though she was annoyed that she was being derailed from her regular plans, she could appreciate her mother's efforts. "Uh, okay, here." She turned to face her mother more fully to humor her. "Standard deviation is a largely used statistical device to measure variability."

"Ooh, sounds fancy."

"Yep! Gotta go, mom!"

She ran up the stairs and into her room.

The door slammed shut. She deposited her satchel and books on her bed. Then she walked over to the printer and lifted the lid of the copier. She pulled out Beth's picture with a small smile. She stuck it into the copier and made two copies. One for her locker, one for Puck, and the original was going to hang in her room right above her bed. She smiled down at the copies of her daughter's face and smile, wondering how in the world she and Puck managed to make someone so perfect.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so…who am I again?"<p>

"You're Tony, Finn."

"And that's—"

"Maria's love interest."

"Okay, so…" He flipped through the pages upon pages of dialogue she recently chucked into his lap, jamming a handful of Cheetos in his mouth. "And Blaine can't help you with this because…?"

Rachel huffed quietly, wiping her face of residual crumbs he had unwittingly spat out. "He and I already practice during the day. I just need someone to run lines with at night when I feel like rehearsing."

Finn looked at her skeptically. "But you're gonna always feel like rehearsing."

Rachel shrugged with a sheepish smile. "That's neither here nor there."

He flipped through the script one more time, giving it one final thought before, "Honestly, Rachel, this is a little boring."

"This is not boring, Finn. This is art." She grabbed the script back from him before he could get Cheetos stains on it. "And this is important to me."

"Yeah, but not to me," he said quietly. "Look, you're gonna do well in the play; we all know it. So...don't stress yourself out." He climbed onto her bed after licking his fingers clean—she wouldn't allow him on her bed while he was eating. Rachel scooted back to allow him more room as he scooted closer. "Relax a little."

Just as he was leaning down to deliver a kiss, Rachel's pink, bedazzled flip phone chirped to life. She pulled back with an apologetic smile. "One must never miss a phone call or text message. You never know—a talent agent could be seeking me out right now!"

She crawled upwards to the head of her bed to retrieve her phone from her nightstand. When she flipped it open her heart rate sped up. The words _New__ Message__ From__ Quinn _flashed across her screen. It was the first time Quinn had contacted her via any kind of phone communication in months and seeing that name in her inbox felt so weird and…new.

"Who is it?"

Rachel could barely hear his question above the blood rushing through her ears. She opened the message and, _We__ need __to__ talk __tomorrow_, never sounded so scary.

Finn asked who it was again and she finally heard him, or rather, paid attention. "Quinn," she breathed.

Even to Finn's ears the way she said it sounded strange. That one syllable was whispered with emotions he couldn't even comprehend. They were often times their own entity, Quinn and Rachel. No one really understood them but they always seemed to understand each other. Finn couldn't understand how they put up with each other and he certainly couldn't understand why Quinn was texting his not-girlfriend while he was trying to get his mack on. "What does she want?"

"I'm not sure," she replied distractedly. All of her mental faculties were dedicated to composing a reply that didn't make her seem desperate or glad that Quinn had contacted her. Her eyes lifted to wash over Finn's oddly pensive features. Her curiosity was instantly stomped down; there was no way Finn was going to help her compose a reply other than telling Quinn to _get __lost._

Which was, weirdly enough, the farthest thing from what Rachel wanted to text her right now. She was nervous and unsure but kind of hopeful.

_**What do you wish to talk about?**_

There. Simple and to the point without giving too much away. She closed her phone and held it tightly in her grasp. Finn must have taken that as the go ahead because in less than five seconds flat he was swarming her and pulling her to lie down. "Not right now!" she stage whispered. "I have to see what she wants."

"Why?" he asked irritably. "She left you hanging all summer and now that she finally texts you, you're gonna wait by your phone like some—"

"Finn," she heaved quietly. "Please don't finish that sentence."

He didn't and they sat there quietly. Finn folded his arms in annoyance. Even to this day it seemed Quinn could wedge a gap between them quicker than anyone else. All it took was one text message and Rachel was already jumping at the opportunity. "All I'm saying is that she's manipulative."

"She _can_ be," Rachel allowed.

"And she's mean."

"She can be that, too."

"And if you get involved with her again, she could hurt you. Again."

Rachel turned to look at him then. "No one said I was getting involved with her. She texted me, I texted her back; that's all. And just for your information, Finn Hudson, Quinn can sometimes be the sweetest person you'll ever know," Rachel said quietly.

Finn opened his mouth in rebuff but her phone buzzed again and his mouth clicked shut, knowing he wouldn't have her undivided attention when competing with something as simple as a text message from Quinn.

Rachel flipped her phone open and read the text _thoroughly_.

_**Had a conversation with Santana today. I think you can guess what it was about.**_

Her blood instantly ran cold at the text. Quinn knew. Quinn _knew_. She'd be in so much trouble. She quickly slammed her phone shut and turned to Finn. "Perhaps we should continue rehearsals another night."

Finn's eyes flitted from Rachel to the phone in her hand. "What did she say?"

"Nothing, she just wanted to talk tomorrow. Anyway, I'm kind of tired." She made a show of yawning, stretching her arms high above her head. "I'm terribly sorry, Finn, but I've just been hit with a wave of drowsiness, I'm afraid. And if it's one thing a growing girl needs, it's beauty rest." She was really, really trying to sell this and Finn was really, really not believing her.

"Yeah, okay." He slid off her bed and put his shoes and coat on. Rachel met him at the door, hopping on her tiptoes to hug him but a firm hand on her shoulder held her back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Finn gave the obvious impression of not wanting her to follow and Rachel stayed where she was, rooted in place until she remembered Quinn's text message again. She ran to her phone and read it again and again. Goosebumps broke out along her skin at the authoritative tone in the text messages. No matter what she would send back, Quinn wouldn't be dissuaded. So, instead Rachel didn't respond. The ball was in Quinn's court and however that conversation was going to go tomorrow was going to be solely on her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>"I hope you're getting ready to go to school today, Quinnie!" Judy called from the top of the stairs. Her shrill voice commanded Quinn's attention from downstairs in the kitchen. It was weird she was even awake at this time.<p>

"I'm going!" Quinn griped as she slathered butter along her toast. "I'm most definitely going."

She had told herself she was turning over a new leaf. The first quarter of school was halfway over and she had yet to see her daughter. Still. And now that she had a picture as a friendly reminder of how beautiful her little girl was, Quinn needed to see her, was willing to do anything to see her. But everything had to be done in stages. A definite step in the right direction was going to school on time and staying all day. It was a fairly new phenomenon but the Quinn Fabray of last year had perfect attendance, so the Quinn Fabray of this year could at least match _half _of that.

Plus, she needed to go to school to talk to Rachel. Enough said.

She grabbed a pack a cigarettes from the counter and jammed them in her bag before sticking the piece of toast in her mouth and rushing out the door. She stewed the entire car ride to school, thinking of how Santana manipulated Rachel into _thinking_ she was going to sleep with Finn. Thinking because, if Quinn had anything to say about it then Finn was most definitely not taking Rachel's virginity. If she couldn't have it, no one could. Not that she was chasing after it because if any girl knew—or used to know—how sacred something as intimate as virginity was, it was Quinn. And she couldn't allow Rachel to give herself to Finn before she was ready.

She couldn't just stand by and wittingly allow that to happen. Because maybe Rachel didn't want anything to do with her, but even Quinn wasn't evil enough to allow her ex-girlfriend to go through with her first time, knowing she'd regret it.

But moreover, she was pissed at Santana. And vowed to get her back for this especially if she fucked Rachel over.

* * *

><p>Waiting all day was feeling like hell. Her phone was blowing up with texts from Mack, Ronnie and Sheila about skipping and she turned them all down. Finally, the three of them just left without her. Quinn gritted her teeth as she wrote down her biology notes. She didn't want to be there. Not when her friends weren't there and she couldn't take solace in at least knowing she'd pass them in the hallway at some point. They were probably halfway to the one Wal-Mart in Lima by now to smoke in the parking lot. Or on the way to Mack's house to fight over the remote, eat snacks and drink beer. It was the epitome of what Quinn's summer was like and it annoyed her that she couldn't be with them to relish in it all. Her phone buzzed in her lap and she looked down, expecting a text from one of her friends. Instead, it was a text from Rachel. She bit her top lip, sliding it unlock.<p>

_**What time did you want to meet? As you may or may not know I have math, vocal training, lunch, Government, and glee club today.**_

At least this offered some distraction from the monotony of her teacher's voice. Quinn dropped her pen and began discretely typing a reply under the table.

_**Probably after glee club.**_

Her fingers hovered above her keys because if there was anything she remembered from dating Rachel, it was that she texted with lightning speed and rarely put her phone down when in mid-conversation.

_**May I ask what this is about?**_

Quinn rolled her eyes. Why did Rachel insist on playing dumb with her? Still, it unnerved her how much she cared. It was…weird how the thought of Rachel losing her virginity to someone else made her stomach churn. Hearing Rachel say she was with Finn was completely different from _knowing_ with _proof_ Rachel was with Finn. Her eyes blurred as she stared at the text from Rachel, recalling the way Finn had kissed her at Nationals. And really, it was Quinn's fault for seeing it because she broke choreography. Everyone's back was supposed to be to Finn and Rachel as they finished off the song but she just _had_ to turn around because no matter what had transpired between them just a day prior, _that_ was Rachel's moment and she wasn't going to miss it for the world. Only, she didn't see Rachel smiling and shining the way she wanted, she saw Rachel in Finn's arms for what felt like an eternity. The audience was dead silent and Rachel's wide eyes turned directly to hers just as Quinn looked away. Her eyes had brimmed with tears that cascaded down her face as the audience teetered between clapping and confusion.

And now Rachel and Finn were apparently together because like an idiot, Quinn had let her go.

She always knew she'd regret the day she broke up with Rachel. She had just hoped that by the time the remorse kicked in Rachel would have already been long gone to New York. But she was here now every day in Quinn's face with those bright eyes and even brighter smile and it was getting harder and harder for Quinn to focus on anything else.

Like sending that text message apparently.

She sighed quietly and typed back a quick reply.

_**Your virginity.**_

The reply she received in return was instantaneous; suggesting this wall of text was tucked neatly away in Rachel's drafts until she devised the perfect set-up to use it. Typical.

_**Quinn Fabray, my virginity is MY business and my business alone. You forfeited a right to have a say in how I safeguard it or whom I should give it to when you broke up with me. Furthermore, I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions concerning when and whom I choose to give it to. That being said, I think we can just avoid this whole meeting.**_

Her jaw clenched tightly in annoyance. Everything about that text read really, _really_ stupidly. And the fact that Rachel was fighting her so hard on this instead of just giving in didn't really bode well. Did she _really _want to have sex with Finn?

_Really_?

No matter.

_**You're not having sex with Finn.**_

It was honestly the quickest and easiest response that would ensure Rachel wasn't going to skip out on their meeting at the end of the day. Tell her she wasn't allowed to do something and Rachel would argue to the death.

_**I am allowed to do whatever I want!**_

Quinn chuckled quietly. That was apparently the only argument Rachel had. She slid her phone into her bag and went back to taking notes. Judy was going to ask her what she learned at school today, after all.

* * *

><p>She walked down the hall to the choir room just as glee club let out. A small crowd was already outside the choir room and everyone turned to her with mixed feelings. But oddly enough, it was Mike whom first approached her. "Quinn, you're back!" He walked over to her and engulfed her in a big bear hug. It was warm and inviting and she could feel her chest swell with emotion.<p>

"I really like your hair, Quinn," Tina stepped up and told her. "I-I didn't get a chance to tell you a while ago when I first saw you because I was…stunned. But it's really, really _cool_."

Rachel's brow furrowed at the compliment and Quinn shot her an amused look. "Thank you, Tina," she said quietly, in that low tone of voice that sent shivers down Rachel's spine.

Tina blushed a little and Mike stared at her confusedly.

Quinn felt long arms engulf her completely from behind and smiled a little when she realized who it was. "Hey, B."

"I'm so glad you're back!" Brittany squealed in her ear.

Quinn winced and turned to her friend with an apologetic smile. "I'm not really back. Just came to talk to someone."

Brittany's mouth formed a giant 'O' shape in comprehension. "Is it Rachel?" she stage whispered. Behind them Rachel folded her arms tightly across her chest.

Quinn nodded and turned back around to find everyone's eyes still on her. She did a little head count of everyone there. Kurt, Blaine—that was new, Mercedes was…missing. Santana was just two people down from Rachel with a smug look on her face that Quinn wanted to slap off when their eyes met. A lumbering shadow encroached upon her and Quinn looked up to find Finn staring down at her.

"What are you doing here?"

She smirked a little. "To see your girlfriend. Obviously."

"What?" His annoyance instantly gave way to confusion. Did Quinn know something he didn't? "Girlfriend?"

Quinn's eyes widened.

Rachel shot her an annoyed look and turned to Finn. "She and I have something to discuss that is of the utmost importance to _her_," she said pointedly.

"Yep, let's go." Quinn reached out and latched onto Rachel's bicep, pulling her closer. She couldn't resist shooting a final look to Finn before walking down the hallway.

"You didn't have to goad him like that," Rachel whispered as she was dragged along.

"So, the two of you aren't together?" Quinn asked brusquely. "You lied to me?"

Rachel shrank under her tone of voice and didn't utter another word until they were in the confines of the bathroom. Quinn finally let go of her arm and Rachel walked to the farthest wall of the bathroom and rested against it with her arms folded. Quinn banged loudly on every stall in the bathroom to make sure they were truly alone. She got to the last stall by the wall, shot Rachel a look and turned around to start pacing. She rolled up the sleeves on her leather jacket and clasped her hands behind her back. Her top lip disappeared as her head casted downward. She was thinking and it made Rachel nervous. Finally, Quinn walked closer and came to a stop about four feet in front of her. Her jaw clenched tightly, frustration painted clearly onto her features. "Tell me everything," she said gravely.

"I don't have to—"

"You are about to make the biggest mistake of your life. Do you know that?" She took a threatening step closer. "Do you know how _stupid _it is to suddenly decide to sleep with someone on a whim? Been there, done that, had the baby. This ring a bell?"

Rachel glared up at her. "We were going to use protect—"

"You are _going_ to wait until you're twenty-five."

This wasn't even about their relationship, or lack thereof, to Quinn at this point. It was about how Rachel was about to make possibly the dumbest decision Quinn had heard since _she _invited Puck over to her house that day.

Had Rachel not been fighting for her own say in the matter she would have probably found Quinn's concern really sweet. However, she _was _fighting for her own opinion and it only annoyed her that Quinn wouldn't listen.

"Look, Quinn. I have a right to have sex with Finn if I want to."

"Do you even _want _to?"

That brought her up short and Quinn knew it. That smug look on her face said it all. "Well, that answers that question. Now answer this one. Why are you giving your virginity to Finn?"

She deflated instantly. Her shoulders slumped and her arms fell from being plastered indignantly across her chest to tensing at her sides. She ducked her head. "You'll think it's stupid."

"Probably," Quinn admitted.

"I—" she sighed loudly. "Fine. I thought that having a passionate encounter with Finn would help improve my interpretation of Maria."

Quinn's face was expressionless for about three seconds. Then she blinked owlishly because she just _could__ not _comprehend. "Are you stupid?"

"Well, if you're just going to insult me—" Rachel shoved past her.

Quinn slowly reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling Rachel back to her when she didn't put up a fight. Quinn had learned a while ago that that was one of Rachel's quirks. She'd storm off, not because she actually wanted to leave but because she wanted to know if Quinn would care enough to chase after her. After having got it wrong several times in the past, Quinn had eventually picked up on it.

The only sound they could hear was each other's breathing. Rachel risked casting a glance down to their point of contact. Quinn's black jacket contrasting against her cream-colored sweater. They almost always contrasted, never blended. She looked up to meet Quinn's eyes. Her pink hair had spilled onto her forehead, masking parts of her face but Rachel could see the severity in her eyes clearly. This seemed important to her. Quinn had let Rachel call the shots up until this point where she seemingly _couldn__'__t _let Rachel go until she had changed her mind.

"Do you even care about him?" Quinn asked quietly.

"Of course I—"

"In a romantic sense. Does he even turn you on?"

Rachel's face burned in surprise because Quinn saying _turn __you__ on _in _that_ tone of voice was…weird. Her mind instantly flashed back to the way she had been moaning on her bed while making out with Finn because flashes of Quinn pressing deep kisses to her neck wouldn't go away and—damn it. She was stumped.

Rachel took a step back from Quinn. She turned and walked right back to that wall, slowly crossing her arms.

"You didn't answer me."

"Yes," she croaked out. Then, much louder, "Yes, okay? Finn turns me on."

Quinn laughed callously because—how could she not? "He doesn't."

Rachel just looked away, deciding to take the high road and not dignify Quinn with a response.

"That would hurt him, you know." Rachel heard the squeak of Quinn's boots as she walked closer. "If you had sex with him and didn't care about him it could hurt his feelings."

"Why would you care?" she asked bitterly.

"Because Finn's already had sex with Santana and regretted it. And if anyone knows regret, it's _me_." Quinn waited patiently until Rachel met her eyes again. "Don't make him regret it with you, too. Don't make _yourself _regret it. I mean, what the hell—you're going to have sex with him just because you think it'll make you a better actress? It should be special."

Rachel broke eye contact, heaving a heavy breath. She didn't think about how it would affect Finn. He just wanted sex, right? He knew where they stood, knew they weren't together; it wasn't like he was going to get hurt, right?

"You want your first time to be special." She looked up to find Quinn looking right through her, as if she was far away. Quinn shook her thoughts away and blushed a little, making eye contact with Rachel. "I could make it special for you," she murmured.

Rachel gawked. "E-excuse me?"

Quinn shrugged. "I know what it's like to regret your first time. I'd make sure you wouldn't regret yours."

Rachel's head spun with incomprehension. Quinn was suggesting _what_? And _why_ was she still standing there listening? She should be running. She should be pushing past Quinn and leaving because a few days ago she had already made up her mind. She had already gotten Finn excited about it, he had already bought condoms but none of that seemed relevant now. "What would you do?" she breathed.

Quinn chuckled lowly, walking closer. "You always were kinky, Rachel."

She could feel the blush crawling along her cheeks as Quinn walked closer but she willed herself to keep eye contact. Quinn was pushing her to see how far she was willing to go and there was no way she was going to back down. She watched raptly as Quinn's tongue slid along her lower lip. She leaned forward, her right forearm resting on the wall beside Rachel's head. They were so close but Rachel refused to back down.

Quinn stared at her for a long time, smiling faintly. "I'd go slow," she breathed. Rachel took a deep breath. "And I'd make sure you were comfortable. I'd kiss you until your lips were raw. I'd take all your clothes off, but not until you said you were ready. I'd kiss you all over—"

"Where?" Rachel asked, voice tinged with barely masked desperation. She was clinging to every silky word that fell from those full lips. Her chest was heaving, brushing against Quinn's lightly and Quinn leaned forward to connect them more fully.

Her heated gaze washed over Rachel's face. This was the farthest they had gone even when they were in a relationship. They had kissed and there had been some touching under clothes but this was the first time that had ever _talked_ about what they wanted to do to each other beyond kissing. Rachel stared at Quinn intently. This wasn't a game anymore and they both knew it. "I'd kiss down your throat 'til I got to this spot—" she leaned down slowly. Her breath ghosted along tan skin and Rachel whimpered. Quinn puckered her lips and pressed them firmly along the base of her bared throat with just a hint of tongue. Rachel arched off the wall with a long moan. _This_ was the feeling she had been imagining when she had been making out with Finn. And now that she was finally feeling it, it felt so much better than she remembered. "I'd kiss down your breasts," Quinn breathed. "I'd tease until you were begging for me to finish you off." Rachel breathed ragged breaths between moans as Quinn's lips continued to brush along her neck. "And then I'd take you and hold you against me until you came."

Her knees buckled and Quinn quickly reached out and wrapped her arms securely around her waist. She licked her lips as their eyes met. Rachel's eyes landed on her lips and she leaned forward to connect them. The kiss was firm, all hesitancy and pretense gone because at this point they had both lost and won all at the same time. Rachel's nails dug into Quinn's shoulder blades as she tried to pull her impossibly closer because she just needed too much from inside of her mouth and she could only get it when their bodies were pressed so tightly that even air couldn't get through. Heat coiled low in her belly as her lips slid hotly over Quinn's, trying her best to devour her. And Quinn let her, her arms periodically flexing against her. Rachel's teeth sank into a full lower lip and pulled, her heavy eyelids fluttering halfway open. Quinn made a face at her and Rachel giggled quietly before reconnecting their lips. Finally, she pulled back. "You'd do that…for me?" she asked timidly.

Quinn rested their foreheads together. "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel…the _things _I have thought about doing to you…" she admitted.

"And have you—" She couldn't stop herself. Awareness was coming back because Quinn seemed so _confident_ and _sure_ of herself in relation to sex and this wasn't the Quinn she knew before their breakup. "Have you done this before with…her?"

The 'her' in question was that nameless forty year old skateboarder that Rachel heard about over the summer.

Quinn hesitated briefly, knowing there wasn't really any way she could lie. "Everybody's gotta start somewhere."

Rachel stiffened, that answer being all she needed to know. She startled in the arms around her until Quinn stood back. Rachel looked up at her with nothing but betrayal. "We could have learned that together. But you screwed it up."

Quinn sighed and pulled away. The fire that was so deeply set in her eyes was gone to give way to dull hazel eyes. "It was only a matter of time."

"Why do you always do that?" Rachel asked testily. "Why do you always ruin what you enjoy?"

Quinn bristled. "Do you wanna fuck or not?"

"_No_!" she shouted with incredulity.

"Keep your voice down!" Quinn hissed.

Rachel ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. "I can't believe this. To think I almost…" she looked up to Quinn. "Do you even care about me?" Quinn sighed. "Do you? You treat me like I'm some…some—"

"Some what?"

"Some toy! I am not a toy, Quinn."

"No one said you were."

"Then stop _doing_ this to me!" she cried. "Stop-stop acting like you care and like you want me when _you__'__re_ the one who broke up with me and still won't tell me why; I am not having sex with you!" she added.

"Okay," Quinn said quietly. She turned to look over her shoulder, making sure no one had walked in during Rachel's little tirade. When she turned back around Rachel was still staring at her. "Just don't—with him either. Please."

"Why?"

"Because you'll regret—"

"Is that the only reason?"

Quinn didn't answer. She looked down at her booted foot as it scuffed against the floor. The bathroom suddenly felt smaller, suffocating. She wanted to run, even looked over her shoulder at the doorway again for a brief moment.

Rachel spotted her movement and instantly caught on. "If you walk out that door, Quinn, this will be the last time we talk about _this_," she emphasized the word just as Quinn had a couple weeks prior. "Why don't you want me to have sex with Finn?"

Her cheeks puffed out as she looked up at the ceiling agonizingly. "Because I—"

"Look at me," Rachel said quietly. She pried her eyes away from the ceiling to find tears shining in big, brown eyes. "Quinn, please, just say it if you feel it," she begged.

Her eyes tracked the lone tear that fell down Rachel's cheek. She always hated seeing her cry. And just like that, the game was over. Because she knew if she lied to Rachel's face in this moment there would be no coming back from it. She took a deep breath, toying with the idea of walking away but knowing she'd never be able to. "I love you, Rachel," she whispered.

One tear became two that became four until Rachel furiously wiped them. "Then why did you—"

"It's hard to explain. Look, I—just don't have sex with Finn. You'd regret it. Trust me, I know."

"I'm not having sex with you either," she sniffled.

She looked momentarily stunned, but recovered. "That's fair…I guess."

Rachel eyed her skeptically. "And you still want to be with me?"

"I—" she scratched the back of her head. "I didn't know this was what we were doing here."

"You think I'd just let you _have__ sex_ with me with no strings attached?"

Quinn's eyes narrowed. "That's what you were about to let Finn do."

"I—well, that's different."

"How?"

Now Rachel was the one averting her eyes and taking a step back. She hit that damned wall again and Quinn stepped up to her. "Say it if you feel it," she mocked.

"Quinn, you know how I feel about you. I called and left voicemails and text messages all summer and you couldn't even extend the courtesy to call me back." She rubbed at her red nose a little, staring at the lapel of Quinn's jacket because she couldn't even meet her eyes. "I wouldn't do that if I didn't love you, okay? That's why it's different. That's why I can't make love to you and have you just _walk __away_ from it like it was nothing; that would break me, Quinn. Do you have any idea…" she trailed off as fresh tears came to her eyes.

Quinn rubbed her forehead, remorse sinking in as Rachel spoke. She honestly didn't have a clue that all of her actions, or lack thereof, affected Rachel so badly. Without a word she walked forward, her arms opened and little and Rachel fell heavily into them as if that was all she had been waiting for. She buried her face into Quinn's neck, inhaled the scent of coconut and faint tobacco and shuddered quietly with tears. It reminded her of the first day of school.

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispered. She pressed a gentle kiss to dark brown hair. "I didn't know; I really didn't."

"I-I thought—I thought you were going to _die_," she sobbed. "I thought I was going to turn on the news one day and they would say something happened to you—you know how I get sometimes; I was so worried."

"I know; I know," she shushed. "I'm okay, see? I'm fine."

Rachel allowed Quinn's soothing voice to sink in as she buried her face more fully into the soft skin of her neck. Her arms twined around Quinn's lower back and locked on to each other, holding her there. She needed this; it amazed her how much she had missed it. The simple reassuring press of Quinn's body against her own. Her tears began to slow as Quinn's hand rubbed gently up and down her back. It had been so long since she had been with Quinn like this and it was the most comforting thing she had felt in a long time. "I've missed you," Rachel whispered against her neck.

Quinn sighed quietly. "I've missed you, too."

"We need to talk."

"I know."

Rachel brushed her lips against Quinn's neck softly before pulling back. "And until we do, _this_—" she gestured between the two of them, "needs to be put on hold."

Quinn shot her an incredulous expression. "What? Why?"

Rachel gave her the same look. "Because I can't let you sweet talk and romance me—" Quinn smirked, "into being with you again only for you to break my heart."

Quinn barely suppressed at smile at Rachel trying to play hard to get. "I wouldn't hurt you," she said quietly.

Rachel's eyes narrowed. "You can't just say some choice words to me and expect me fall into your arms and—" she paused, looking down at how she was very much _in_ Quinn's arms and blushed a little. Rachel untwined her arms from around Quinn's back and took a step back. "You can't just expect me to fall into your arms and just _be _with you."

Quinn shrugged, her hands falling limply to her sides from where they had previously been around Rachel. "Okay."

Rachel placed a hand on her hips. "Oh, no. You're not going to _okay _me, Quinn Fabray. Not now."

Quinn took a step back. She placed one hand on her hips and the other in her hair, combing her fingers through it. She was really trying to keep her temper in check because now that Rachel had stopped crying she was becoming annoying. "Let's just…throw all the cards out on the table." Her left hand rose, palm up as she began ticking off a list on her fingers. "You're _not _having sex with Finn now, you don't trust me apparently, you love me—"

"And you love me," Rachel murmured.

Quinn nodded a little, ticking off a fourth finger. "So, now what?"

"Take it slow?"

Quinn smirked. "You don't really know how to take things slowly, Rachel."

"Shows how much you know about me," she huffed. "I am perfectly capable to taking this slow until I trust you again."

Each time the word 'trust' was thrown around felt like a punch to the gut for Quinn. The fact that Rachel didn't trust her made her feel like she had stepped back into the dark ages of when she wore a red Cheerios outfit and bullied Rachel mercilessly. She was supposed to be a different person, yet here she was, apologizing for hurting Rachel for—what number was she on again? How many more times was Rachel going to allow her to do this before she finally packed it in for good? Was Quinn going to get to that point? Keep fucking up until Rachel finally told her goodbye forever, move to New York alone and come to visit everyone in Lima _but_ Quinn?

Was Quinn _ever_ going to learn?

"Hey," Rachel whispered. The warmth of her palm washed over Quinn's face and she listened to every instinct that told her to lean into it. "Come back to me."

"I'm sorry," Quinn breathed. Her eyes, heavy with regret met dark brown and in that moment Rachel understood that this was one of those apologies that encompassed everything.

She rubbed her face gently and sighed when those troubled hazel eyes disappeared behind eyelids. "Then just…_stop_, Quinn. No more running." Rachel reached down and grabbed the lapels of Quinn's jacket to bring her closer. "No more hiding," she whispered, her fingers stroking along the leather with obvious implication. "I don't even _need_ to say how much I disapprove of this particular jacket."

Quinn looked down at herself, her black shirt, skirt, stockings, and black combat boots, then looked back up at Rachel. "Just for a little while longer."

Rachel practically melted from the look on her face. How was it even possible for Quinn to look adorable when she looked so…_tough_? Her eyebrows knitted together, her lips pulled down slightly. It could only be considered a pout because it wasn't deep enough to be a frown. Rachel smiled, knowing if she called Quinn out on it, she'd ruin the moment. "For a little while longer."

Quinn smiled in victory, wrapping her arm around Rachel's shoulders. Rachel tugged her closer, both her arms wrapping around her. It was unnerving how well they fit together. In all of her wildest dreams Rachel would have never thought that she would someday have Quinn _holding__ her_. And then it _happened_ all those months ago and it was so much better than she had ever thought it'd be. And after going months without it only to have it here, now, it was amazing. She couldn't bring herself to let go. She couldn't stop her lips from brushing under Quinn's jaw or her fingers from rubbing circles along her back.

But she knew there was only a little while longer until their little bubble was burst and it came in the form of the bathroom door creaking open. She expected Quinn to jump back, not wanting whoever it was going to be to see her embracing another girl so intimately but to her surprise, Quinn just kind of lingered for a second, then slowly disentangled her arms.

"Oh, isn't this cute?" a sickeningly sweet voice called.

Quinn sighed. "Get bent, Mack."

"No, really."

Rachel looked over Quinn's shoulder to see one of those…Skanks walking closer.

"This is cute, Quinn. Really cute." Mack came to a stop in front of them. Her arms crossed confidently across her chest as she loudly chewed on the gum in her mouth. Mack bent lower as if she was talking to a child. "I'm really happy for you, Rachel," she said mockingly. Rachel looked up at Quinn but Quinn was looking at Mack. "Are we going to get food or what?" Mack asked Quinn.

"Yeah," she drew out the word with suspicion. "Give me a minute."

"Whatever." She turned around and walked out of bathroom without looking back.

Rachel, of course, was the first to speak. "Okay, what was _that_?"

"They're a bit of a protective bunch. I'll talk to her," she promised.

She nodded a little. When Quinn looked back down at her to say goodbye Rachel was already pouting. "Don't do that."

"Are you—are you going to even talk to me tomorrow?"

"Of course—"

"Forgive me, Quinn, but I really don't know your protocol. Every time I think I know you better than anyone, you change on me and—"

Quinn swooped down and trapped Rachel's bottom lip between her own. Rachel's arms instantly wound around her neck as she kissed her deeply, her tongue dipping inside. Quinn pulled back and licked her lips. "I'll talk to you," she husked against full lips.

Rachel's knees practically gave out again. Quinn leaned in and kissed her one more time just for the hell of it, then walked away. "See you later, Rachel," she called behind her.

"Tomorrow, Quinn!" Rachel called after her. She huffed when the door closed to the bathroom. "She had better talk to me tomorrow."

Quinn walked down the hallway alongside Mack until they stepped outside. She was feeling…lighter. More carefree. As if—

"Thought you didn't love her?"

Her head lolled to the side to see the shit eating grin on Mack's face. "Don't start," she grumbled.

"I mean, I'm just saying. You said you didn't love her, then I catch you in the bathroom making kissy faces with her. So do I call you whipped now or do I wait until that chick _really _has you wrapped around her finger?"

"Shut up!" she hissed quietly as she and Mack approached Ronnie and Sheila.

"What's got your face all red?" Sheila asked Quinn.

"Nothing!"

"Quinn has a girlfriend!" Mack called loudly.

"I _don__'__t_," she insisted. Then, belatedly with a small blush, "Not yet, anyway."

"She cute?" Ronnie asked.

"Not cuter than me," Mack told her.

Quinn glared. "_Way _cuter."

Mack stuck her tongue out as Quinn rolled her eyes and sidestepped a kick towards her shin. "You're mean!"

She shrugged. "Sorry."

"Hey, isn't that the chick you were telling us about yesterday?" Sheila asked.

Quinn turned towards the parking lot in time to see Santana walking across with Brittany. The sense of calm she had felt just seconds earlier boiled into rage at just the sight of her. Just _thinking _of Rachel going through with having sex with Finn because of Santana's persuasion made her want to cross the parking lot and tackle Santana to the pavement. "That's her," she told them. "Ignore her. She's not important."

"She fucks with you, she fucks with us," Sheila said quietly.

"Just ignore her." Quinn backed away and started walking towards her car, calling over her shoulder. "Let's get something to eat, guys!"

* * *

><p>Quinn cautiously unlocked the door to the house and slipped inside. There had been a sleek, black car in the driveway that looked unfamiliar and dread knotted in the pit of her stomach. Images of her and her mother sobbing as truancy hauled her away for good flashed through her mind and her chest caved in with each step she took. But when she walked further into the house she didn't hear uncontrollable blubbering or yelling. Instead she heard muffled voices. They sounded strained and tense and Quinn quickly walked down the hallway towards the kitchen to find out just what the hell was going on.<p>

She reared around the corner and stopped dead in her tracks at the threshold of the door. Her mother was seated at the table and across from her was Russell Fabray.

"Hello, Quinn," he said quietly.

Quinn swallowed tightly. "What is he doing here?" she asked.

Judy's eyes slowly slid over her daughter. She could see Quinn's entire frame tremble. With rage or sorrow, she couldn't be sure. "Quinn, honey, say hello to your—"

"_What _is he doing here?" she asked more forcefully.

Russell sat down the tea cup that had been gripped in his hand. "You look different."

Quinn's heart caved in at his words. Her lungs completely depleted of air; it was difficult for her to even speak. But she eventually found her voice. "You aren't going to just barge in here and start judging me all over again," she said gravely. "I don't need you or your opinions; so you can go right back where you crawled from."

"Quinn!" her mother shouted. "That's enough!"

But Quinn didn't listen. Her eyes were glued onto her father and as Judy's eyes swung to Russell, she noticed his eyes on her as well.

Yet another Fabray battle of wills was forged.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**Thank you to those that continually read and review! I do take the time to read them all; it's always nice to know what you all think.

* * *

><p>Russell took a stand from his seat, his eyes on his daughter. "Perhaps Quinn and I can talk in…private?" he suggested.<p>

Judy looked from Russell to Quinn to gauge her reaction. "Whatever you want, Quinn," she said sincerely. Since her divorce from Russell, Judy had more or less learned that she and Quinn only had each other. Quinn worked and helped pay little bills such as her cell phone bill and together, the two of them were able to create their own home. But they were barely making it.

Quinn stood there for a few seconds, weighting her options. Finally, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and walked outside again. Russell took the obvious invitation and walked after her.

"Russell?"

He stopped just short of the door and turned towards Judy's grave expression.

"Don't you hurt my daughter again." Her voice trembled but her eyes firmly held his. "Because the only one that'll be leaving this time will be you."

His chest puffed out with barely contained defiance but he said nothing, walking out the door. On the car porch, he saw Quinn pacing. Russell used the moment to take his daughter's appearance in with her pink hair, black leather jacket, cut off shirt and low skirt—both aiding to expose her midriff. "Quinn," he started, truly unsure where to begin. "This-this look. It—"

"It's mine," Quinn said quietly. "Whether you approve or not, this is the way I choose to look and there's nothing you can say that will change it."

"Well, I don't even live here, Quinn, and I'm sure your mother is too busy doing…other things—" his allusion to Judy's neglectfulness wasn't lost on Quinn. "All I'm saying is that you seem to be lacking guidance."

Quinn stared at him incredulously. "I've lacked 'guidance' since I was _born_. Where have you been?"

"Now, Quinn, when I was here I did the best I could to—"

"To ensure that I was the perfect, cookie cutter daughter for you at fund raisers, charity events, church and in front of your friends. Did it ever occur to you that who you were forcing me to be wasn't who I was?"

"Fine, Quinn. We'll do it your way." He took a step closer, widening his gait and folding his arms across his chest. "Who are you?"

Quinn began ticking off a list. "I don't go to school, my grades are getting poorer by the day, I work at the local McDonald's, I—"

"And you think this defines _you_?" Russell asked tersely. "You, my daughter, who used to come home crying if she got anything less than a B on her report card is now settling for lower grades and skipping classes? _This_ is you?"

Quinn faltered briefly under the stern look he gave her. "Yes," she whispered.

Russell scoffed. "No, it isn't. The Quinn I _fathered _wouldn't have worn a dress that had a wrinkle in it and now you're telling me that you parade around in pink hair and a hideous tattoo above your backside. It's immoral."

_There _was the insult Quinn was looking for. Her blood boiled with resentment as she took a step closer to her father. "_Don__'__t _come into my house and start insulting me; you can leave any time you want!"

The door behind them creaked but neither of them broke eye contact to look at Judy studying them from afar. She peeked her head out to check on her daughter then went back inside.

Quinn ran a hand through her hair in frustration before taking a step back. Sharp eyes watched her like a hawk. "This isn't you," he stated firmly.

"You don't fucking know me!" Quinn shouted.

Russell blanched. "You watch your mou—"

"You _never _took the time to get to know me." Her chest heaved violently with each breath she took in an effort to calm herself. "Not once have you asked what _I_ wanted. Every day I had to go out and be the perfect daughter you wanted and I _hated_ it. I'm _not _perfect."

She reached up to violently wipe at her cloudy eyes because she was _not_ going to cry in front of her father. Not now. "I didn't _want _to date Finn, I didn't want to be a Cheerio." Her shoulders lifted into a helpless shrug. "I just wanted to be _me _for _once_."

"Who _are _you?" Russell asked.

"I don't know!" she shouted. "But I-I know that—" she took a deep breath to gather courage then went for the plunge. "I _don__'__t _like…boys," she finished quietly.

"…What?"

"I tried," she whispered. "Daddy, I can't even tell you how much I've tried." She shook her head, recalling all the times she made out with Finn and Puck trying to feel _something _and only ending up feeling sick and tired. "I can't. I don't…"

Russell stood motionless, his normally poised posture hardening and distorting. He took jagged steps backwards, wide eyes on his daughter. "I-I need a moment."

He abruptly turned and walked into the house in search of Judy. Quinn followed suit, walking slowly into the house. She passed by pictures on the wall of herself when she was younger, blonde hair, frilly dresses. Where did the time go? Where did _she _go?

"You knew she was gay?"

"Yes, I've known."

She walked further into the house, hearing the hushed whispers of her parents.

"For how long?"

"A little over a month now."

"And you're okay with this?"

Quinn rounded the corner to the living room just as Russell and Judy were conducting their conversation.

"Yes," she heard Judy say lowly.

Russell looked over Judy's shoulder to see Quinn standing there. For someone so small, only his daughter, she stood as if she was an imposing figure three times her size. Her eyes narrowed slightly, lips balled up tightly together, shoulders held high. Her chin and voice trembled as she spoke. "Why are you here?"

Judy and Russell made eye contact again before Russell spoke. "Your mother is concerned with your attendance record and—"

Quinn's eyes shot to her mother accusingly. "I already told you I'd start going to school!"

"Quinn, quit yelling at everyone!" Russell told her firmly. "This temper of yours has gotten out of hand."

"I don't have a temper! I just want everyone to leave me alone!" She briskly walked out of the living room and toward the kitchen to grab her bag and keys. If she didn't get a moment alone soon, she'd go insane.

"Quinn, where are you going?" Judy asked.

She ran out of the door and towards her car without looking back. Once she was inside she tossed her bag in the back, placed both hands against the steering wheel and tried to take as many deep breaths as she could. She didn't want to deal with her father and his judgement. She had lived a relatively easy, guilt free life all summer and up until Rachel kept asking questions such as who she was. Why was everyone asking her that? It wasn't like she was schizophrenic. She was just…_different_. And if no one liked it then they could all go to hell.

She took one last breath and started her engine with shaky hands and just drove.

* * *

><p>"Rachel, were you expecting company?" Leroy asked as he peered out the window above the sink in the kitchen. A red car pulled along the side of the road in front of his house. He squinted against the glare the overhead light casted against the window. That car looked…familiar.<p>

"None that I know of, daddy." Rachel's voice came bounding down the stairs before she did. She reached the bottom of the stairs just as Leroy stood back from the window. "Looks like Quinn's car," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Quinn?" She quickly walked over to the door, nearly knocking Leroy over in the process. "I'll get it." They both peered out the doorway as Quinn walked closer.

"Now, hold on a minute. I haven't seen her in months. It'd be nice to see what she's…been…up to." Rachel didn't even have to turn around to be able to picture the bewildered look on her father's face. Instead, Rachel watched Quinn intently, specifically the dried tears on her cheek.

"Hey, Rachel," Quinn rasped out as she stepped up to the door. "Mr. Berry. How are you?"

A response from Leroy wasn't really forthcoming and Rachel gently shoved him backwards, opening the door. "Come inside, Quinn, before you catch a cold."

Quinn flashed a relieved smile, walking inside. Rachel immediately took her jacket to hang up. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm good. Thanks." She walked through the hallway behind Rachel, feeling Leroy's eyes on her back the entire way. It felt weird being there. It had been months since she had last visited and although she had left on good terms, she knew coming back was anything but.

"I heard the door open. Who is it—oh."

Quinn looked to the top of the stairs just as she and Rachel approached them. "Good evening, Mr. Berry. I hope you've been doing well."

She was relying on her manners to save her even a little bit. Hiram gaped openly at the sight of her. Rachel fidgeted nervously at the bottom of the stairs under her father's scrutiny. Finally, she turned to Quinn. "You go ahead up to my room, Quinn. I'll make you some hot chocolate."

Not one to resist an obvious invitation to avoid an awkward situation, Quinn squeezed past Rachel to walk up the stairs. She smiled nervously at Hiram before turning around. "It was really nice to see you both again," she mumbled, shuffling down the hallway to Rachel's room. Rachel waited until she heard the door to her room close before she turned to both of her fathers with a glare.

"You both could have handled that with a little more tact," she chided as she walked towards the kitchen. "She's obviously upset about something right now."

Hiram descended the stairs to follow Leroy and Rachel into the kitchen. "We just didn't know she—"

"I told you about how much she changed over the summer." Rachel huffed in frustration as she tried to reach the utmost cabinet for a mug. Leroy reached above her to grab one and she flashed him a grateful smile. "Although I can understand how…jarring it is to see her for the first time. I wasn't much better when I saw her on the first day of school."

"What is going on with that poor girl?" Leroy asked, looking towards the top of the stairs.

"I don't know," Rachel admitted. "Quinn's never—she came from a family that perpetuated putting your best face forward, even if that face isn't _yours_. Her acting out, though a little extreme, isn't very surprising."

"Is there anything we can do, dear?"

Rachel stirred the hot chocolate in the mug until it was evenly mixed, staring up at her fathers. "Just be nice," she instructed. "And try not to act so surprised when you see her from now on."

They both nodded and she headed up the stairs to her room. When she stepped inside, Quinn was perched atop her bed, looking around. She looked up and Rachel smiled at her as she walked to sit down beside her. "I made this for you."

Quinn gently took the offered mug of hot chocolate. "Thank you."

"No problem. I find that drinking hot chocolate during challenging times often helps boost my mood." She scooted closer to Quinn until their thighs were touching.

Quinn blew along the lip of the cup to cool the hot chocolate. She took a long sip, exhaling quietly. The warm push of Rachel against her side was comforting as her gaze swept over the yellow walls of her bedroom. It was quiet, so different than Mack, Sheila, and Ronnie's houses were. There were no boisterous younger siblings that tried to see up Quinn's skirt when she walked past, no parents yelling drunkenly at the top of their lungs. There was only Rachel.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked quietly.

Her gaze slid over to the tops of Rachel's thighs and the small hands fidgeting in her lap. "I'm okay."

Rachel scooted impossibly closer. "You've been crying."

"I guess I have," she laughed humorlessly.

"Quinn—"

"I don't really want to talk about it right now, Rachel."

Rachel's mouth screwed shut tightly. She sat there and continued to fidget with her hands as Quinn's eyes continued to roam over her room. "How is your play going?" she asked after a few minutes.

Rachel instantly perked up. "Much better than it was in the beginning. I'm still stumped on how to be the best Maria I can, but I'm improving."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out," Quinn told her. She reached towards the head of the bed to place the empty mug on the nightstand then leaned back to stretch across Rachel's bed. Her hands folded neatly behind her head as she stared up at the ceiling.

Rachel bit her lip as she stared down at Quinn. She didn't really know what to do. She could start talking a mile a minute until she was blue in the face but Quinn only seemed to want silence at the moment. So instead of talking, Rachel just sat there and drank in the image of having Quinn on her bed again. It had been nearly five months since she and Quinn were last like this. And the girl in front of her now looked so different than she did then. But in Rachel's eyes she was relatively the same, quiet, pensive girl she had always been. She just wore different clothes. Shirts that plunged low to show cleavage and rode high to show midriff. Skirts that barely made it mid-thigh.

"It's impolite to stare."

A telling blush danced along her cheeks as her eyes trekked the body beside her until she met hazel. "Perhaps," was the flippant reply.

Quinn grinned a little and Rachel felt relief wash over her. She scooted up on the bed more, reclined on her side and propped her head on her arm to look down at Quinn. "Are you sure you're okay?" Her right hand rested between them, fiddling with the threads of her blanket as she watched Quinn intently.

"I'm okay," Quinn breathed. "Just needed to get out of the house for a little while."

Rachel smiled. "I'm glad you came here instead of going to see those…Skanks."

She laughed a little. "They have names. Mack, Sheila, and Ronnie."

"Which is the one who doesn't like me?"

Quinn bit her lip. "Mack, Sheila, and Ronnie."

Rachel pouted and she laughed quietly. "That's not funny."

"It's not," she admitted after a little more laughing. "They typically don't like bubbly personalities but they'll warm up to you, I promise."

Rachel stared down at the small smile on Quinn's face with an answering one of her own. She couldn't really get over how warm and excited it made her feel to have Quinn with her again. Nor could she really get over Quinn's new transformation. Before she knew it the fingers that had been weaving through threads in her comforter were weaving through soft strands of dark pink hair. She leaned closer until her head was resting on Quinn's outstretched arm. A scent caught her nose and she grimaced and moved away. "Okay, no."

Quinn glanced over at her. "What?"

"_What_?" she echoed incredulously. "Quinn! You smell like cigarettes!"

She winced sheepishly and scooted further away. Rachel grabbed her arm and pulled. "It's okay, really. Just—I'll wash my sheets."

Quinn slouched back against Rachel's bed, feeling guilty now about the chain smoking habit she had picked up over the summer. She had never noticed the smell because all of her friends smelled the same way. It was normal. Now she just felt…dirty. And that was not _at __all_ how Quinn Fabray _ever _felt.

"Maybe I should go," she muttered.

"No, Quinn, really." Rachel reached out to grab her a second time and pulled her back down to face her. "It's okay; you don't have to leave." Her lips brushed against Quinn's cheek. "I don't want you to leave."

She felt Quinn sigh against her cheek then plop back down on the bed. Rachel bit her lip nervously, a self-conscious Quinn wasn't the easiest Quinn to get through to. She lied down beside her, mimicking their earlier position. Her head rested on Quinn's arm—she was determined to ignore the smell—while her arm reached across Quinn's collarbone until she was playing with her hair yet again.

"How do your fathers feel about me?" Quinn asked suddenly, recalling how the Berry men were able to do little more than openly gape at her when she showed up.

"They were a little surprised to see you like…this," Rachel answered carefully.

A lone eyebrow quirked up. "You mean you didn't tell them you had been spying on me all summer?"

Rachel blushed a little. "Yes, but hearing and seeing are two different things."

Quinn hummed softly in response. Her body relaxed slightly at the feel of soft fingertips sliding through her hair. This was the most at peace she had felt in a long time. She could feel herself slipping again and it was just as scary this time as it was last time. It surprised her in the beginning how easily it was to get wrapped up in Rachel because she was such a caring, attentive person. In the beginning it was hard to see past the annoyance and babbling but once she did, Quinn could very easily see Rachel's appeal. Why Finn, Puck, and Jesse fell for her. Why she herself was once again back in Rachel's bed. It was impossible not to love her.

"Feeling better?" Rachel murmured against her ear.

A harsh exhale was pushed past her lips as her throat clogged up.

It was impossible _not _to love her.

How was that possible?

She had been hooked from the beginning and didn't even know it.

"Quinn?"

She nodded.

Rachel's hand skirted along the side of Quinn's face until her fingers brushed along her nose ring. "Still Quinn," she whispered as if to reassure herself. "Still my Quinn."

Her eyes popped open and her vision swam with those brown eyes that always seemed so big and open and trusting. Even when they probably shouldn't be. And that smile that she couldn't seem to stop dreaming about. Only, it wasn't a dream now. It was reality and the thought made her heart swell.

Quinn cleared her throat and looked up at Rachel just as a lock of hair was pushed back from her face. "My dad was at my house when I came home," she said. "I—that's why I'm here. We got into an argument. I left. And now I'm here."

Rachel frowned with an understanding nod. "I'm sorry he just showed up at your house unannounced. I know the two of you aren't on the best terms."

That was an understatement, capped off by Quinn's watery laugh. "Yeah. I haven't seen him since the divorce. And then I get there and he was in _my _house telling me that I lacked guidance. I just…" she trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"It was too much to take on at one time," Rachel offered.

Quinn looked down at the hand that danced along her collarbone. She grabbed it lightly and intertwined their fingers. Rachel smiled down at her. "Movie?"

Quinn smiled as well, thankful for the distraction. "Yeah."

Rachel hopped off the bed and walked over to her DVD collection.

* * *

><p>She was late.<p>

Thankfully not _that _kind of late again, though.

This time she was late to school because she had fallen asleep towards the end of the movie last night and Rachel hadn't the heart to wake her. So instead they both slept sideways on the bed and woke up in the morning with aching neck muscles. But in the words of Rachel, _it __was __worth __it_.

She told Rachel goodbye in the morning and told her that after she was able to shower, get dressed, and eat at home she'd meet her at school. And truth be told, she had no choice. On time or late, she had to be in school or Judy and truancy were both going to be on her ass. Quinn didn't know which to fear most.

Her father wasn't home when she got there this morning, so Quinn assumed he wasn't moving in. At least she could take solace in that. But who knew when he would decide to pop up and play father again? For now she decided to focus on school. One thing at a time.

But today felt different. As soon as she walked in school she knew something was wrong. Something felt off, unsettling. There were hushed whispers and jerky movements among small groups of students. People would look at her with trepidation, then look away. She slowly walked down the hallway, receiving the same look and treatment from everyone. Finally, she got sick of it and reached out blindly, grabbing for a freshman. A freckled girl with spunky red hair was pulled directly to Quinn.

"What's going on in here?" she asked brusquely. The girl shook like a leaf under Quinn's stare and that was when she heard it.

"_Fight!"_

A large crowd of students all began running towards one direction. Quinn released the girl she had a hold of to watch the crowd herd in one direction like cattle. "Buffoons," she muttered to herself. But awareness sparked through her once she realized where everyone was going.

Cheerios hall.

That could only mean one thing.

Quinn took off into a sprint down the hallway. It all made sense now. She hadn't spoken to her friends since yesterday when they ID'd Santana for nearly talking Rachel into having sex with Finn. And now there was a fight on the Cheerios hallway and Quinn just knew it involved her old friends and her new ones.

She reached the Cheerios hallway and pushed through the crowd as forcefully as she could, her lungs completely depleted of air from the exertion. She shoved against big football players and scrawny girls in the marching band until she finally got to the front of the crowd gathered around the fight.

The first thing she saw was Ronnie backing a shaking and crying Brittany into a corner while Sheila had Santana in a headlock. The crowd around them cheered loudly as if they were out for blood. Santana, although feared, wasn't the most well liked person in the school. A lot of the students had been waiting for something like this for a while. Quinn watched in horror as Santana's face grew redder from oxygen deprivation. She shook her head minutely back and forth, slowly walking towards the chaos. "What are you guys doing?" she whispered to herself. She looked over to Ronnie coming in from her left. "Ronnie, no!"

Ronnie was walking towards Sheila and Santana, a knife being pulled from her pocket. Before Quinn could think better of it, she flung herself onto Ronnie's back at the last possible second. Her legs hooked around Ronnie's waist as her arms wound themselves around her neck from behind.

"Fucking hell, Quinn!" Ronnie doubled over in shock at the impact. She fell to her knees, knife firmly in hand, knuckles down on the ground as she reached back with her other hand. It curled tightly in short pink hair and Quinn cried out when she felt her hair being pulled from the scalp. "Sheila, get this bitch!" Ronnie yelled. "What the hell, Quinn!"

"I'm not going to let you _shank_ her!" Quinn roared incredulously. "This isn't prison!" Her hair was pulled roughly again and she felt tears prick her eyes. Her teeth gritted together against the pain. She squeezed her thighs harder and breath swooshed from Ronnie lungs, causing her to tug harder again.

Ronnie quickly crawled to her feet. She swung around like a bull to knock Quinn off her. But Quinn held firm, one arm held tightly to Ronnie's shirt as the other tried to pry fingers from digging into her scalp. Ronnie turned sharply again and the next thing Quinn saw was Sheila's fist coming for her. It connected harshly with her eye and Quinn lost her grip around Ronnie's shirt. She hit the ground hard, her head thudding against the floor. Her left eye throbbed violently with pain as she blinked in surprise. She groaned quietly, sitting up just in time to see Santana launch herself across the room towards Sheila. "That's my friend, you bitch!"

"She's my friend, too!" Sheila growled as she caught Santana by the front of her Cheerios uniform. She head butted her just once and Santana crumbled to the floor.

"_Okay, __that__'__s __enough_!" Quinn heard someone loudly call. She fell back against the floor with a relieved sigh. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to go back up against Ronnie and Sheila again.

She heard Ronnie and Sheila shouting and scuffling in the background as well as Santana spouting off threats about Lima Heights Adjacent. Quinn reached up to tentatively touch her eye, wincing at the unbearable pain that shot across her face.

"You need to figure out where your loyalties lie!" Quinn heard Ronnie yell from far off.

"Come on, baby mama," a voice said close to her ear. The next thing she knew, she was being scooped up in strong arms.

"Puck?" she whispered.

He chuckled a little. "You'd think someone gave you a concussion with the way you're carrying on. It's just a little black eye, babe."

"Yeah, well _I__'__m _not used to getting sucker punched at a moment's notice so forgive me if it hurts," she gritted out. She looked around to see Mike carrying Santana with Brittany tightly at his side. Her head flopped back against Puck's shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"Nurse." He looked down at her and Quinn squinted up at him with her good eye. "Woohoo, that's one hell of a shiner. Wait 'til Berry sees this."

"Oh, no," she groaned. "Don't tell her about this; that's the last thing I need."

"Noah Puckerman, what have I told you about parading women around as if they're—_Quinn? _Quinn, is that you?"

She practically cried at the sound of Rachel's voice getting nearer. "What happened to her?" Rachel asked. She could barely see Quinn because Puck was carrying her so high up. "Is she sick? Does she need to go to the nurse?"

Puck smirked. "Oh, yeah, she needs the nurse, alright. But probably not for what you'd think."

Rachel tucked herself diligently beside Puck, trying to get a good look at Quinn all the way to the nurse's office. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Quinn wasn't talking, Puck wasn't giving much up. What the hell was going on? She looked around to find Brittany, Santana, and Mike behind her looking very much the same way she, Quinn and Puck were. Rachel fell back to walk in step with Brittany. She noticed the worried look on Brittany's face and the dried tears. "Pardon me, Brittany, I don't mean to intrude, but I was wondering; what's going on?"

Brittany looked up at Santana briefly, pouting. "Santana and Quinn got into a fight with The Skanks."

"A-a _what_?" Her eyes bulged out of her head. "I know very well that Quinn would never—"

"She has and she did, Berry," Puck called from ahead of her. "She's got a nice shiner on her eye to prove it." He snickered until Quinn shoved her elbow into his side. "Geez, Q, watch it or I'll drop ya."

"You better not," she growled.

"Quinn Fabray!"

"Rachel, no," Quinn told her. "Not right now."

Rachel frowned but followed as they all walked through the door to the nurse's office. The nurse stood to greet them warily. "I'm afraid we don't have enough beds for…everyone."

"We only need two," Rachel told her. "Though I'll need a comfortable chair to sit in while I watch after Quinn all day—" Quinn groaned tiredly. "And I'm sure Brittany will want one, too, to watch Santana."

The nurse led them all to an adjacent room and ordered Puck and Mike to deposit Quinn and Santana on the beds. Puck got a few more pot shots in at Quinn's predicament before walking out of the room. "Later, baby mama!"

Quinn lied back against the clean white sheets on the bed in the nurse's office as Rachel pulled up a chair to sit beside her. She turned over to see Rachel preparing a bag of ice for her. Rachel watched Quinn watch her silently. Her eyes slid over the purpling bruise that marred pale skin with a wince. She leaned forward to gently place the icepack against Quinn's eye. The ice felt scalding against her skin and she cried out quietly. Rachel smiled at the small whine.

A hand reached up to cover hers around the icepack. "Thank you," Quinn whispered. Relief washed over Rachel at just those two words. Maybe Quinn was going to let her stay around and be included in this after all. She reached out to gently comb stray pink hairs from Quinn's forehead. She drew back when she noticed Quinn wince.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"Nothing, just—Ronnie pulled on my hair when I was on her back."

"Quinn, what happened?"

"A fight, Berry, duh," Santana called from the next bed over.

Quinn quickly jolted to sit upright. "Shut up, Santana. None of this would have happened if you would have minded your own fucking business for _once_."

"You think you're so tough now because your mommy lets you curse," Santana goaded. "Come over here, Q, I'll show you what big and bad really is."

"Oh, yeah? Just like you showed Sheila what Lima Heights Adjacent is really like? You'd be unconscious now from that headlock she had you in if I hadn't stepped in!"

"And you'd still be trying to get her boot from down your throat if I hadn't stepped in to save your ass!" Santana shouted back. Brittany grabbed the back of Santana's Cheerios uniform and gave it a gentle tug. Santana huffed quietly, narrowed eyes on Quinn as she laid back down.

Rachel stepped up in Quinn's line to sight. She pressed the palm of her hand firmly on Quinn's sternum. Hazel eyes looked up to her sharply. They stayed that way, locked in a silent battle until Quinn sighed loudly and plopped back down on the bed.

The nurse cautiously stepped in once all the commotion was over. "Do I need to separate you t—"

"Yes!" both Quinn and Santana called loudly.

Minutes later a new room was prepared and Brittany helped usher Santana out into it. Quinn settled more fully on her bed, grumpy and in pain. To think she saved Santana's ass and got no thanks for it. Her arms folded tightly across her chest in annoyance. Now she had no friends, it seemed. She was mad at Santana, the Skanks were mad at her.

Rachel turned to her with a weary sigh. "How did this fight happen?"

Quinn opened her mouth to speak. But nothing was forthcoming. Everything in her head felt jumbled up. She was angry, hurt, confused. "I don't know," she whispered.

"Perhaps talking about what you're feeling would—"

"Rachel, I don't want to ta—"

"Yesterday you said we could talk."

She knew she had won when Quinn didn't bother to put up a counter argument. She closed her eyes—her good eye and settled more firmly on her pillows.

"Fine, then. Allow me to talk." Rachel scooted her chair closer to the bed. "I have decided to run for senior class vice president."

A small smile lifted Quinn's lips. "You always listen to me," she murmured, eyes still closed.

Rachel hummed quietly in agreement. She sifted the icepack around, making sure to evenly apply it across the bruise. Unable to help her curiosity, she lifted it briefly to get a look underneath. She cringed. "Quinn, it looks painful."

"Probably looks worse than it feels."

"How does it feel?"

She laughed awkwardly. "Like a physical echo of being punched in the eye."

Rachel leaned towards her then. Cool lips pressed against the bruised flesh and Quinn sighed a little. "Better?" Rachel whispered.

Quinn smirked a little. "It's not _worse_," she allowed.

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully. "What happened?"

She sighed and picked at the hem of her shirt that barely covered her navel. "I got to school and first thing I saw was a bunch of people running to the Cheerios hallway. I could already guess what was going on because my friends like to fight. Anyway, Sheila had Santana in a headlock and Ronnie had pulled out a—" she coughed into her fist, deciding not to rat her friend out like that. "Ronnie was running towards them so I jumped on her back. She pulled my hair to get me off then Sheila punched me in the face and then the fight was broken up." She opened her eyes to see the horrified look on Rachel's face. Those eyes, big as saucers and brimming with tears. "Please don't cry."

"But, _Quinn_," she lamented. "You have a black eye and it looks like it hurts."

"I'm okay," she promised. And she was. Rachel was humming softly near her ear and those nimble fingers were combing through her hair. It felt nice. Blunt nails raked tenderly against her scalp and she sighed. Heavy eyelids lifted open to find Rachel looking down at her.

"I'm glad you're okay," Rachel said quietly.

Her eyes closed again against the onslaught of quiet murmurs and soft fingers in her hair. "I'm sure you have class or something you should be in. Don't skip class like…me."

Rachel giggled. "I _do _have a class right now."

"Go," Quinn urged. "You need to be in class."

"But who'll look after you?"

"I'm a big girl, Rachel. I can look after myself." She was used to it by now.

She looked like she wanted to refute but instead she just nodded and stood up. "Feel better, Quinn." She leaned down and placed the lightest kiss against Quinn's lips before pulling back. "I'll come back to check on you soon."

Quinn licked her lips, waving goodbye to Rachel as she walked away. She slumped back against the nurse's bed with a heavy sigh, wishing her eye would stop throbbing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **I cannot believe we're ten chapters into this story already. Where did the time go?

* * *

><p>A loud insistent banging on her door woke her up from her sleep. After her mother barging in with the truancy form a few days ago, she had learned to lock her door. "Quinn, wake up. Quinn. Quinn, you need to get up, honey. It's time for school."<p>

Pink hair spilled across a white pillow as Quinn turned away from the loud voice on the other side of the door. The voice and knocking became louder and…deeper. "Quinn, get up so we can take you to school."

She instantly sprang up in bed, knowing exactly who was on the other side of the door. "I thought I told you you aren't welcome!"

"Do you hear how she talks to me?" she heard her father's muffled voice complain on the other side of the door. "If I was still living here she'd have a little more respect than that."

"No one told you to leave us," Quinn whispered, more to herself than to the intruder on the other side of the door. She could hear Judy on the other side of the door pleading with her to come out and she sighed quietly, getting out of bed. A pair of sleep shorts were thrown haphazardly on and she stepped up to the door, opened it and leaned against the frame with a drowsy yawn.

"I've been suspended," she said dryly, clenching her eyes shut. After her visit to the nurse, Principal Figgins had called her, Santana, Ronnie, and Sheila into his office. He heard their sides of the story and Quinn, Ronnie, and Sheila were suspended from school under the suspicion that the 'attack' on Santana was somehow gang related. "I still have three days of my five day sentence left."

Russell reached out and grasped her chin firmly in his hand when she stopped talking. Quinn halfheartedly fought but he just ignored her, turning her jaw to get a better look at her eye. He squinted, leaning closer. "It doesn't appear too inflamed anymore."

She jerked away. "What are you, a doctor?"

His jaw clenched in annoyance but it was Judy whom spoke. "Quinn, get dressed. Your father is taking you to school."

"I've been suspended," she reiterated.

"Your mother asked me to speak to your principal for you," Russell cut in. "I've donated a lot of money towards extra-curricular activities in that school and it might do some good for you if I showed my face."

"I don't need you."

"You know what I don't need?" Judy asked suddenly, looking between the two of them. "I don't need the two of you to be at each other's throats constantly. You're family. Quinn—" she turned towards her daughter. "Get dressed. And get downstairs in twenty minutes. Russell is taking you to school and that's final."

She glared hard at both of them, then slammed her door shut.

Nineteen minutes later she was rushing down the stairs, throwing concealer and a pack of cigarettes into her bag. She bypassed Russell as if he wasn't there, walking outside.

"We're taking my car," he told her.

She nodded curtly, walking towards his car and getting in the passenger seat. Russell took a deep breath, opened his door and stepped inside. He put his seat belt on and braced his hands against the steering wheel intently. Quinn put her seatbelt on and situated herself. By the time she turned to Russell, he was still in the same position.

"Am I going to school _today_, or…?"

"Alright." He threw a hand up, nodding his head and looking as if he was talking to himself. Quinn sank back further into her own seat when his eyes rounded on her. "Let's have it out, Quinn. Because you obviously don't want me here and I'm caring less and less about your little attitude, so let's talk. Let's lay it all out there."

Her face hardened. "Fine. Why are you back all of a sudden?"

"To do _this_," he articulated, gesturing between them. "Do you have any idea what you're doing right now? It's almost November and you're acting like you have all the time in the world; you don't!"

"Have you even thought about college?" he continued. "Have you even thought about how you'll pay for college because making scraps at McDonald's isn't even going to get you through community college these days."

Her mouth opened and closed with replies that she didn't really have.

"This is why I'm here," he continued quietly. "Because you have no idea what you're doing. You know that, I know that, your mother knows that." He exhaled loudly, choosing to look ahead. "I don't even know who you are anymore, Quinn. You've lost all sense of direction, purpose. You let one mistake—" he gritted his teeth harshly. "One mistake ruin your entire life."

"You acted like my life was _over_!" she cried suddenly. "_You__'__re _the one that made me feel like a failure, like there was no coming back from getting pregnant at sixteen!" She felt tears in her eyes and her left eye throbbed against the strain of her outbursts. "I thought I was finished," she whispered desolately. "I thought I was going to fail for the rest of my life because I had fallen short that _one_ time."

"And now you have," he cut in bitterly. His haunted eyes slid over to Quinn's. "And it's partially my fault; I'll take blame for it. But you need to own up to your part in this, Quinn. You're never going to get anywhere if you sit there and continue to blame everyone for your own problems."

Quinn sank back against the passenger seat, as if her father's words were a physical blow. She angled her body away from him, choosing to look out of the window as Russell started the car. The engine roared to life, drowning out her quiet sobs and his restless thoughts as he pulled out the driveway.

They rode in silence. Quinn had the seatbelt clenched tightly in her hand, staring vacantly out the window. She didn't know where to begin; there was too much going on. Class seemed like a safe place to start. She sighed as she pulled her phone out of her bag and looked at the time. She had already missed her first class but maybe she could make her second on after her meeting with Principal Figgins.

She scrolled through her text messages, knowing there wouldn't be any from Mack, Ronnie, and Sheila. There was one from Rachel the night before simply telling her good night and for now that would have to do. Rachel was the only friend she had.

It somehow always worked out that way.

Russell pulled smoothly into a parking space and killed the engine before turning to Quinn. "We go in there, I talk, you apologize and we hope for the best. Deal?"

She nodded numbly and got out of the car.

They walked inside the school together and instantly people began to take notice. People would either snicker at her black eye or gawk in wonder but one thing they all did was part like the Red Sea when she walked past. A lot had changed in the past two years. Back when she was a Cheerio people wouldn't dare to even make eye contact, let alone snicker behind her back.

That thought alone caused her to stop abruptly in the hallway.

Russell stopped just short of running into her and looked down, bewildered.

Quinn's eyes narrowed icily in a well-practiced glare that had never failed her before. She looked around, daring everyone, _anyone _to make eye contact. No one did. They all kept walking, some shuffling forward with their heads down.

She smirked a little, easing her shoulders back. Okay, so maybe _that _hadn't changed so much.

She led her father to the Principal's Office and knocked firmly on the door.

"Yes, yes, come in!"

Quinn pushed the door open and walked in, Russell trailing behind. She plopped down in a chair in front of Figgins's desk and Russell sat down with her, stretching his hand across the table. "Principal Figgins, it's been ages!" he gushed. "You look as sharp as ever."

Figgins waved him off good naturedly. "I can't take compliments from a handsome man like you! How long has it been? A year?"

"Try two," Quinn shot back.

Russell recoiled slightly but recovered with a wide smile. "You know how busy it gets."

"I sure do." Figgins returned his smile as the two men reclined back in their respective chairs. "What brings the two of you here today?"

"Well, Principal Figgins, as you know my daughter was recently involved in a fight and was subsequently suspended."

"Ah, yes." He nodded. "Sue Sylvester raised hell because blood, sweat and tears were shed on her hallway and she wasn't the one who caused it."

"Yes, well, what I'm trying to say is that Quinn is sorry." He scooted closer towards Figgins. "You know how rambunctious children can be these days." Quinn's jaw clenched. "I just wanted to come down here and ask that you allow my daughter back in school now. I think she's learned her lesson and she'd really like to be back full time. This is her last year after all, Figgins. You know how important senior year is to a student."

Principal Figgins leaned back in his seat once he caught on. "Mr. Fabray, you know I respect you more than half the teachers in this school. But I cannot allow Quinn back in my school before her punishment is up. What kind of message would I be sending to my…"

He trailed off as Russell stood to pull a checkbook and pen out of his pocket. Quinn folded her arms and watched from the corner of her eye as her father swatted the checkbook against his open palm a few times. Her eyes slid over to Principal Figgins watching intently.

It was like dangling a bone in front of a dog.

"I haven't made a contribution to the football team since my daughter was dating the star quarterback," he jeered. "Your boys need new uniforms this year, Principal Figgins?"

"That they do," he admitted.

"Then Quinn is free to go to class, correct?"

Principal Figgins' eyes darted from the checkbook, to Russell's eyes, to Quinn, then back to the checkbook. "Quinn, you have ten minutes to get to class."

"Whatever." She stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder.

"How much to get this suspension off her record?" she heard her father ask as she closed the door to the Principal's office.

Her boots echoed loudly against the floor as she walked down the empty hallway. Everyone was already in their second class of the day and she'd be late. Again. But she found she didn't really care once she got to her locker and saw her eye again. It was still pretty bruised, but it was turning a sickly looking yellow color that meant it would be completely healed soon. She stared into the mirror in her locker and fished her concealer out to apply it. The official late bell for class rang and she growled quietly in annoyance. She wasn't moving from her spot until that black eye was covered. Once it was covered she touched it lightly in experiment and winced. It couldn't be seen but it still hurt like hell.

She capped her concealer, grabbed her books and closed her locker, walking down the hallway to class.

* * *

><p>Rachel walked into the choir room with a bright smile, carrying her folder of sheet music in her hand. Today had been a good day. She didn't go sharp on any notes in choir this morning, she had rehearsals after glee club to look forward to, and the vegan station at lunch today served <em>actual <em>vegan dishes this time. She walked towards her chair with an extra spring to her step.

The smile was more or less wiped from her face when Finn came in. He made eye contact with her, grimaced a little but walked closer. Things had been awkward between them because they really hadn't had a chance to talk since the night Quinn texted her. The next day he kept asking what was going on and she stalled until the end of the day when Quinn literally dragged her away from the choir room so they could talk. Aside from telling Finn that sex was definitely off the table and she didn't really know what she had been thinking at the time, she hadn't really offered up an explanation to him for what had happened. But as his large shadow eclipsed her before he sat down, she knew she would have to have a heart to heart about the situation soon.

"We need to talk," he told her as he sat beside her.

"After glee," she promised.

Everyone walked in and settled down just as Mr. Schuester stepped to the front of the room. Mercedes walked into the room a minute later and Rachel perked up. Her arms folded tightly across her chest at the solemn expression on Mercedes's face.

"Alright, guys, listen up!" Mr. Schuester placed a hand on Mercedes's shoulder as he addressed the class. "I regret to inform you that we're now one person short. Mercedes has decided to leave the New Directions in favor of a rival glee club at our own school led by Shelby Corcoran."

Everyone's face began to pull down in disdain and Mr. Schuester quickly cut in before things got out of hand. "However, we still love her like family." He turned to Mercedes. "And we wish you all the best."

"Thank you, Mr. Schuester."

"That's it?" Rachel asked from the front row. "T-that's all we're going to say to her? I don't understand, if it were me quitting everyone would be jumping on my back for this."

"You _did _quit the club a few times, though," Tina said.

"Yeah, almost more than your _lesbian __lover_," Santana sassed from the third row. "And that's saying something because Quinn quit the club every third week like she was punching a time card at work." She stood up as if a thought just occurred to her. "You know what? Maybe I quit." She looked around at everyone and realized she didn't really care for any of them, sans Brittany. "Yeah, I quit. Screw this; I could be getting more solos at Shelby's lame glee club with that one rude chick that can't sing than I can here with one chick that refuses to _stop _singing."

Rachel sat there stunned as Santana stepped down from the risers. She stood up abruptly when she walked past her. "Mr. Schuester, are you really going to let this happen? _Now_; our last year?"

Mercedes and Santana gave each other high fives as Mr. Schuester ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"They're screwing everything up for us, Mr. Schue," Kurt said. "This is our final year to actually win; you're going to just let them leave?"

"Guys! I can't do anything." His brow crinkled as he turned to Mercedes and Santana. "I hope you guys realize what you're doing," he said gravely. "You'll never be able to qualify for Sectionals let alone Regionals without enough people."

"Mr. Schuester, all I ever wanted to do was sing," Mercedes said. "Winning is great and everything but more than anything all I ever wanted was for my mother to come hear me sing and actually _get _to hear _me _sing."

"I just want the spotlight," Santana said flippantly.

Rachel slumped back against her seat heavily. She felt like crying. Everything she had worked hard for with her own voice for the past two years was being ripped from her right before her very eyes. By her own _mother _and _friends._ She had had some vague inkling that Shelby was orchestrating a rival glee club in _her _school; Shelby had called her into her office and calmly explained that a little healthy competition never hurt anyone. She ended up walking out of Shelby's office and spent ten minutes having a good cry in the bathroom because who _does _that? What mother would shatter their child's dreams so ruthlessly and without apology or remorse again? Wasn't winning Regionals over them two years ago enough? Apparently not. Apparently Shelby was going for blood this time.

Mercedes and Santana turned to walk out as Mr. Schuester called out to them, "Just so you guys know, there's always a place for you to come ba—"

"No, there isn't."

All three of them turned around to find Rachel standing. She walked over towards them. "Mr. Schuester, I respect you as an instructor. Mercedes, Santana, I wish you both the best." She took a deep breath. Was she really going to say what she was thinking? "But this is our last year, we have Sectionals in mere weeks and we can't afford to have people walking in and out of the club all year long. I'm sorry, but if you walk out that door there will no longer be a position for you in New Directions."

Santana began walking towards her but Mercedes grabbed her arm. "You think you can call shots all of a sudden, you two foot dwarf! Who died and made you president?" She tried her best to rip away from the firm grasp Mercedes had on her arm.

Rachel shook a little where she stood but she stood firm, not backing down. "We need people to commit and we need to begin preparing numbers _now_. We can't afford to have to constantly change choreography and arrangements because people keep walking out."

Mercedes gave one more yank and Santana finally stopped trying to charge for Rachel. "Fine," she spat. "But don't expect to win when the most soulful voices of this vanilla wafer club quit!"

She quickly stormed out of the door and Mercedes casted one more glance around the room before walking out as well. "Good luck, guys," she called.

The door closed behind them with finality. Rachel stood rooted in place, wondering if she had done the right thing.

"Rachel?"

She turned around to find all eyes on her. It was a little overwhelming. She did a mental head count of who was still left: Finn, Kurt, Blaine, Tina, Mike, Artie, Puck and Brittany. But who knew how long Brittany was going to hang around until she followed Santana to Shelby's glee club?

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Whether Brittany quit or not didn't matter because they still needed twelve members in order to qualify for Sectionals.

"Mr. Schuester?"

"Yes, Rachel?"

Her sorrowful eyes met his. "Would it be alright if we didn't practice today? I think that giving time to digest this news that has rocked our club to its very foundation could prove to be both vital and beneficial."

"I think that's a good idea." He addressed the entire club, "Don't despair, guys. We're gonna take a day off, come back tomorrow and we're gonna practice like never before."

The somber mood in the choir room was palpable. Blaine tried to reach for Kurt's arm as he stormed outside in a huff, Brittany shuffled out of the room with a pout and everyone trailed behind. Rachel slowly gathered her belongings, taking deep meditative breaths. She was a non-violent person but there were times like these when she wished she had taken on that kick boxing class this semester in gym.

A light hand touched her shoulder. "Hey."

Gathering her books into her arms, she turned to Finn with a forced smile. "Hi, Finn."

One hand jammed into his pocket while the other went to scratch the back of his head. "You said we could talk?"

She nodded and together they walked out of the choir room. The hallway was mostly vacant due to after school inactivity and they walked together in silence until Finn turned to her when she stopped at her locker. "So…Quinn?" He looked down at her locker and frowned at the picture of Quinn he saw tacked inside. It had taken him weeks and asking to get a picture up but Quinn got one in mere _days_?

Rachel deposited her books inside. "Yes, Finn. Quinn."

"The two of you—"

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "We're taking it slowly." She closed her locker and leaned against it to face him more fully. "Finn, I'm terribly sorry, I truly am. It wasn't my intent to lead you on—I didn't know that Quinn and I—" she scrambled to find the right words. "I didn't know she and I weren't…finished."

"It's been like, two years of more misses than hits, Rachel." His frustration was clearly readable in the furrow of his brow. "When _are_ the two of you going to be finished?"

She couldn't answer that. What kind of question was that to even _ask_? "I don't know, Finn."

He shook his head. "So, I shouldn't wait?"

"Probably not," she whispered.

"Tell me this; was I just some fucking placeholder?"

"I—"

"This whole time? Were you just waiting for the day that Quinn would finally look at you the way you wanted her to?"

Her jaw dropped. "Finn, that's not fair!"

"You're not answering," he pointed out.

"_No_, you weren't a placeholder," she said incredulously.

"But you've always had feelings for her, right? That day I told you I was dating her?"

She remembered the day in question well. At the time, she had recently acquired a crush on Finn after learning of his leading man potential for glee club. She had flirted a little until Finn said that he was dating Quinn. Her world had instantly turned on its axis. Finn had been dating Quinn, the girl she had seen twirl in the hallway earlier that day that made her stomach flip-flop and Rachel had wondered how the President of the Celibacy Club knew how to shake her ass in that short pleated skirt like that.

It had been mind-boggling to say the least. Her future on again off again boyfriend had been dating her future ex-girlfriend, current who-knows-what.

"I'm waiting," he said impatiently.

"So am I."

As soon as shivers ran down her spine, Rachel knew who it was. She turned just as Quinn walked down the hallway. Her eyes gleamed with excitement but she remained against the locker, unsure how to even proceed. What was the protocol for when your not-girlfriend shows up while you're talking to your ex-boyfriend about your feelings for her?

But…wait. "You're in school," Rachel stated with a confused lilt to her voice.

Quinn smiled. "Long story. The suspension was lifted." She leaned against the locker, getting comfortable as if she belonged there.

Finn turned to her with a glare. "Do you mind? I'm trying to talk to Rachel."

"We both seem to be having the same problem then," she stated coolly.

"Could you leave?"

"No."

"Quinn—" Rachel began.

"I don't know what makes you think you deserve her."

Rachel startled. "Finn—"

He ignored her completely, walking closer to stand in front of Quinn. He sized up her slouched posture and black clothing with a frown. Her new behavior had been getting under his skin since the day she texted Rachel. "You're evil and manipulative. You don't deserve someone as good as her."

"Finn, that's enough!" Rachel stated firmly.

"All you do is hurt people."

"Finn!"

He was hurling words at her, all the things he never got to say when Quinn hooked up with his best friend, got pregnant and tried to pass the baby off as his two years ago festered and bubbled and every once in a while his resentment would resurface. "You always lie; do you even care about her?"

Rachel was about to speak but her voice squeaked and died in the back of her throat when Quinn slowly pushed off the lockers until she was right in front of Finn. "You don't think I know that?" she choked out. "You think I don't know how much I've hurt her?"

"Both of you, that's enough."

"That's the difference between us," Quinn continued, ignoring Rachel. Her voice rumbled with conviction. "You sit around and act like you've never hurt her or made her cry while I acknowledge and _apologize _for it."

"Quinn, stop."

"Have you ever apologized to her?" she challenged. When Finn didn't answer she continued. "Have you ever even acknowledged one _fucking _time that you've hurt her? Because I have. And _that_ is what makes us different. So don't you _ever_ put me down again."

"Okay, that's enough." Rachel reached out for her arm gently. She tugged Quinn backwards and inserted herself between the two of them. Finn stared down at her completely dumbfounded. "Finn, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"But, Rachel—"

"Finn, please," she asked, trying to diffuse the ticking time bomb she felt behind her. She could literally _feel_ Quinn, taut and incensed behind her and pleaded with Finn to just walk away.

He did, with his hands in his pockets and his head hanging a little. He never looked back.

"Yeah, that's right, walk away!"

Rachel turned around sharply. "Quinn, that's enough!"

"You heard the way he talked to me!" Her hard eyes bore into Rachel.

"Yes, and I admired the way you handled it _calmly_," she intoned. "Don't fly off the handle now."

Quinn stood staring at her, as motionless as a statue before she slumped back against the lockers. Finn had hit a sore spot. Whether or not she deserved Rachel was often a concept she wrestled with herself on and always came out on the losing side because no matter how much she made up for what she did in the past, she would never deserve Rachel. It was a burden but it was her own to bear and Finn throwing it in her face whenever he felt like it was too much. She didn't want to think about all the ways she would never be able to fully make amends for what she did.

"Don't think about it," Rachel said quietly. "We've talked about this too many times in the past and you know I forgive you."

Quinn nodded, unable to meet Rachel's eyes. Instead she stared at the worn penny loafers on her feet. There were times when she felt like that was all she deserved to be able to look at. A soft hand brushed along her jaw and gently grabbed her chin. Her head was tilted up until she met dark brown eyes. Rachel's eyes narrowed. "It's still a little swollen," she murmured as she looked at her eye.

Quinn bit her lip under Rachel's scrutiny, suddenly feeling bare and exposed. "I'm still pretty though, right?" tumbled from her lips.

Rachel blinked owlishly at her before she erupted in a fit of giggles. Quinn's brow furrowed at the reaction. She pushed Rachel's hand away and folded her arms tightly across herself. Why was the concept of her being pretty so funny all of a sudden? Her thick outer shell slowly crumbled to give way to _hurt __feelings _that she hadn't felt in a while.

Rachel quickly grabbed for her once she realized she'd upset her. "Wait, Quinn, stop." She grabbed her arms and unfolded them, gently pushing Quinn back against the lockers. She was ever hyper aware of their proximity and wondered if she was making Quinn uncomfortable with the public displays of affection. She looked into Quinn's eyes and didn't see any of the anxiety she used to see when they would walk together in the hallways and Quinn wanted to keep them a secret. Instead all she saw was an insecure girl in front of her. It always amazed her how someone as strong and imposing and _beautiful _as Quinn could be just as insecure, if not _more_, than she herself was.

"I'm sorry for laughing," she said sincerely. "However, I wasn't laughing at the notion of you being pretty. I was laughing at the absurdity of you even thinking otherwise." Quinn's eyes widened in understanding and she smiled a little. "Quinn, I will always, always think you're stunning. Whether you have a black eye or not has no bearing on that," Rachel finished quietly.

By the little blush dusting along pale cheeks and the way her lips parted as if in awe, Rachel guessed her message got through loud and clear. She waited patiently as Quinn composed herself.

"Really?" she whispered.

Rachel nodded with the same smile.

Quinn's lips ticked upwards. "But I'm a lot more than that, right?" she asked with a little eyeroll.

"I've been telling you _that _for a while now," she giggled. She fingered the cotton of Quinn's ripped shirt with a thoughtful pout. "Why am I just seeing you if you've been here all day?"

Quinn's smile was full blown. "Blame the system, not me. We only have one class together and that's on odd days. Today's an even day. I don't see you much."

Their amusement of one another died down as their close proximity became more apparent. They were pressed against each other and Quinn still hadn't moved to put space between them. It was strange and new. Rachel was so used to having to watch her back outside of the choir room so that no one knew they were together that being here, now, pressed against Quinn felt so new. It felt _good_ to be able to openly display the affection she felt. Even though no one was around the thrill was still there. Her stomach still knotted against the heat she felt from Quinn's body, her chest still heaved against the one in front of her. "Quinn?"

"Yeah?" she breathed. It seemed their thoughts were beginning to align.

"Would kissing you be the opposite of taking things slowly?" she asked hoarsely. Her hands were already beginning to wander if the quiet gasp Quinn emitted was anything to go by.

"Probably," Quinn admitted breathlessly, leaning forward and capturing her lips.

Rachel exhaled harshly and pressed her body more firmly against Quinn's, knocking them both into the locker. Quinn's hands quickly weaved in her hair as their mouths met. She had been thinking about having that perfect smile attached to her lips for way too long. She sucked a little on Rachel's bottom lip and pulled back for a breath before diving right back in. Rachel's fingers slid under Quinn's top quickly before she caught herself and took a step back.

Harsh breaths were pushed back against her lips as she looked over at Quinn on the lockers. This wasn't exactly the most adult way to take it slowly. This was the hormonal teenager way of taking things slowly and although that's exactly what they were, taking this route to solve their problems wouldn't get anything solved. "We still need to talk," Rachel panted lowly.

Quinn cursed inwardly. _Talking _was what she had wanted to avoid. But there was no way she could seamlessly slip back into a relationship with Rachel when trust wasn't even formed yet and they both knew it. It would end disastrously. Again. And they were trying to learn from past mistakes.

"I have rehearsals right now," she said quietly in the silence that permeated between them. "Walk me to it?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Rachel started walking and Quinn pushed off the lockers to fall in step beside her. After a few agonizing seconds Rachel hesitantly reached out and grabbed Quinn's hand. When a rebuff wasn't forthcoming, she slowly intertwined their fingers and smiled the entire way down the hallway.

* * *

><p>After walking Rachel to rehearsals, Quinn gathered her own books from her locker and walked outside the school to the parking lot. Her gaze landed over to the football field where she saw the Cheerios practice. She shook her head, dumping her books into her backseat and stepping into her car. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel as she contemplated where she wanted to go. She didn't want to go home because what were the chances that her father was going to be there <em>again<em>? And as far as she knew, she wasn't welcomed in either Ronnie or Sheila's houses. But maybe there was at least one person that still liked her. She sucked her teeth, started her car and drove to Mack's.

She didn't kill the engine until she was sure Mack's father wasn't there. When she did, she stepped out and jogged up the stairs to her porch, knocking loudly on the door. Mack slept like a rock and it was normally really difficult to wake her.

Some rustling was heard then the blinds on a nearby window were split open. Quinn looked over as two eyes peeked out at her. The blinds were promptly shut and for thirty seconds she didn't hear anything at all. She banged loudly again. "I know someone's in there!" She banged loudly again and nothing was forthcoming. She sighed quietly, kicking her boots out against the screen door. "Open the door, Mack!"

The door swung open and Mack stood there in a white tank top, cut off jean shorts and a pair of boots. She looked to Quinn with a bored expression. "What are you doing here, traitor?"

"Look, Mack, don't start that shit with me, okay?" she asked quietly. "You weren't there; you don't know what happened."

"I know you jumped Ronnie from behind."

"It's a long story," Quinn gritted out. "I did that to ensure she didn't get in trouble. I can explain, really."

"Can you explain why your father was in school with you today?" Mack shot back. "Because I distinctly remember you telling me you didn't have one. He looked rich, too."

"I _don__'__t_ have a father," she insisted. "Not really. He just showed up."

"Stop lying, Quinn!" She leaned against the screen door to get closer. "All you've done is lie!"

Quinn stiffened at the accusation. "I haven't lied! You guys have been my friends from the beginning!"

"You said you didn't have a family. You said you didn't come from money!"

She tossed her hands up in frustration. "I'm not rich! You saw me working at McDonald's all summer!"

"What I _saw _was your _father _walking into school today with an expensive name brand suit on, Quinn. Explain that." Mack had her arms folded tightly across her chest in victory because there was no way Quinn could explain herself. "You lied."

"I didn't lie," Quinn insisted with a pained whisper. "Look, you guys are my best friends; I've treated you like family since day one."

"You have a family!" Mack shouted. "Fuck, Quinn, all those times—" she shook her head sadly. "All those times we all complained about how we don't have family or how we can barely make it month to month with the little food we had and you've had _both _all this time; you're selfish!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Her eyes narrowed coldly. "Why don't you go home, Quinn? Why don't you go to your girlfriend, and money and two-parent household?"

"Because I don't have a two-parent household!"

"But you have two parents that you lied about just so you could fit in with us," Mack challenged. "And at least one of your parents is rich. Stop slumming with us as if you know what struggle is, Quinn."

She lost her combative edge at Mack's last words. Her shoulders slumped forward. "So, this is it? We're not friends anymore?"

Mack looked away. "I guess not."

She nodded, taking steps away from the house. "Okay," she said quietly. "Okay." She couldn't believe it. Just like that, she was friendless. It was over. No more smoking in the parking lot of Wal-Mart, no more sleeping over each other's houses, no more skipping class just to hang out. No more Mack, Ronnie or Sheila. It was over. No more family.

* * *

><p>"Rachel, I don't know what's been going on with you lately but you have been bringing it, girl!" Coach Beiste said proudly once rehearsals finished.<p>

"Girl knows how to get her sensual on," Artie boasted.

"We're really proud of you, Rachel," Emma told her. "And Blaine, I'm continually impressed with how seriously you're taking this role now. No more smiles."

He couldn't _not _smile at the compliment and Rachel echoed his smile with one of her own.

Everyone quickly dispersed from the auditorium but she stayed behind as she often times did after a rehearsal to practice more lines or to sing because acoustics in the auditorium were pretty perfect.

She heard footsteps near her from stage left and she sighed quietly, not at all wanting the visitor that came from the shadows.

"You're getting so much better," Shelby complimented.

"You think you can take half my glee club then compliment me and expect everything to be okay?" Rachel sniped bitterly as she turned towards the intruder. "We lost another singer today because of you."

Shelby took the verbal jabs in stride. "There's nothing wrong—"

"With a little friendly competition, I get it. But don't you understand that you're crushing _my_ dreams? Do I mean so little to you?"

Where she tried to look big and intimidating, she ended up looking small and fragile. Like a little girl who just got her feelings hurt. That's what she always felt like in relation to Shelby.

"Rachel, honey, I apologize if I hurt you—"

Rachel laughed hollowly. "I am sick of people hurting me then turning around and apologizing for it as if that somehow obliterates how much pain I'm going to feel." She looked up at her. "Well, allow _me _to apologize because this time…I don't accept your apology."

She felt those damn tears crowding around the corners of her eyes and she couldn't flee the auditorium fast enough. All she ever knew was pain and sorrow and she just wanted to be happy and live an easy life for _once _and the one person that should be perpetuating that notion was screwing her over and stabbing her in the back whenever it benefited her.

She didn't need that and she didn't need Shelby.

* * *

><p>She had been driving around aimlessly for an hour after she left the store and she really didn't know where to go or what to do. But she knew that she was really going to be blowing away her paycheck on gas if she didn't decide soon. So she put her car in reverse and drove onwards to the one place she always felt welcomed, even when she didn't feel welcomed.<p>

"Hello, Mr. Berry," she greeted as warmly as she could when the door swung open. The smile on her face disappeared completely when she saw the storm of emotions flitting across Leroy's face.

"Good evening, Quinn," he said as diplomatically as he could. "I'm sorry but Rachel is a little upset right now."

"What's wrong with her?" Quinn asked before he even had a chance to elaborate.

Leroy winced, not sure of how much to give away. "She and Shelby seemed to be butting heads at school and—"

"Can I see her, sir?" she interrupted. "Please."

Against his better instincts, Leroy let her in and she charged up the stairs, the bag in her hand completely forgotten about. She opened Rachel's door and closed it behind her to find Rachel on her bed. Puffy, red-rimmed eyes met hers sadly.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asked tremulously.

Rachel wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her oversized sweater. She shook her head a little and stood up from the bed. She slowly walked over and Quinn took her into her arms as if comforting Rachel Berry was the most natural thing in the world for her. Rachel folded into her and Quinn wrapped one arm around her shoulders, the other around her waist and just held her there silently. She heard Rachel sniffle quietly and tightened her hold around her as if she was trying to squeeze the pain out of her body like snake poison.

"What's wrong?" she asked again.

"Don't hurt me," was all Rachel whispered. It was the only thing she could articulate, the only thing running through her mind because she felt like she was going to shatter any moment.

Quinn's grip tightened further still until she could swear she felt Rachel's heart beat against her own. Quinn didn't know. She didn't know how to love someone without hurting them and that thought scared her beyond belief because if there was anyone in this world that _didn__'__t_ deserve pain it was the girl in her arms in this moment.

She tossed the bag of hair dye that was in her hand onto Rachel's bed and tried her best to wrap her own body around her. To shield Rachel from the world.

And from herself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>"And in conclusion: vote for Rachel Berry. Vote for a star!"<p>

The crowd surprisingly clapped rather loudly when Rachel stopped talking. But that could have been because the ten minute speech was finally over. She chose to believe they clapped because she was awesome though. Kurt clapped as well as he walked on stage to give her a congratulatory hug.

"You're totally going to win!"

"So are you!" she told him. "We are gonna _rule _this school!"

"Settle down, students," Principal Figgins said once he stepped up to the mic. "We will dismiss one row at a time and everyone can go to their homerooms to vote."

Everyone stood up before he was even able to finish talking and filed out of the gym.

Rachel walked down the stairs of the makeshift stage carefully. She walked off from the middle of the basketball court to the far wall, towards a familiar smile and blonde hair. She smiled coyly at Quinn, still acquainting herself with the dyed blonde hair. After Rachel had cried on Quinn's shoulder a week ago and told her everything from Shelby starting a new glee club to Mercedes and Santana leaving, she was actually able to see past her own tears and looked towards the bag of hair dye on her bed. She had been stunned, asked Quinn is she was sure but Quinn just heaved a heavy sigh, nodded and told her that things needed to change.

Thankfully for Rachel, things didn't change completely. Quinn kept the nose ring and a couple days later she dyed subtle powder pink streaks to the tips of her hair. But the bandanas, leather jacket, and black clothing were slowly weeding themselves out. Today she wore a simple white dress with spaghetti straps. She wasn't wearing a cardigan and delicate pale shoulders bounced in an unsure shrug under Rachel's scrutiny. Her shaggy hair was beginning to grow into her eyes and down her neck and she constantly had to swing it to and fro in frustration.

"Well?"

Quite simply, she took Rachel's breath away. "You look beautiful, Quinn."

"You're sure? I feel…weird. Different." She hadn't dressed like this in months and it felt bizarre to dress in what she had come to call 'Old Quinn's' clothes. Old Quinn naively believed that she was perfect and could do no wrong. Old Quinn operated under the façade of being a heterosexual virgin that got straight As and held celibacy club meetings. She wasn't that Quinn anymore and wearing these clothes felt like stepping into a pair of shoes that were too small. She looked down at herself. Even wearing a white dress felt laughable.

"Quinn, I think you look beautiful. However, you don't have to wear these clothes if you don't want to," Rachel assured her.

Quinn's gaze amusedly ran down Rachel's green dress with white stitching and giant bow in front. Such a dork. But so adorable. "You're always comfortable in whatever you wear," she noted quietly. They were so different.

"Is this some thinly veiled joke about my fashion sense?" Rachel asked skeptically.

Quinn laughed. "It's not, I swear."

"Mmm, good." Her smile returned. "Okay, now go." She pulled a groaning Quinn off the wall and gently pushed her along. "You have to go to homeroom to vote for me!"

"Fine," she grumbled.

Before she could leave, however, Rachel spun her around and boldly leaned forward to kiss Quinn chastely on the lips. "You can be my second lady," she murmured. Then, she simply skipped away. She was testing the waters, seeing what she could and couldn't get away with with this new found allowance of public displays of affection.

The hairs on the back of Quinn's neck stood on end as she noticed people staring at her. She could practically read their minds. Former Head Cheerio, Quinn Fabray, had fallen so far down the social ladder that she had now been reduced to dating girls. And not just any girl, the biggest loser in the school. Her fists clenched angrily at her sides but she took deep, calming breaths. One of the things Rachel had taught her from the very beginning was that she couldn't change the way people thought so she should just ignore them. With that in mind, Quinn turned her back on the people that were staring at her and walked to homeroom.

"Quinn! Just the person I was looking for!"

Her shoulders tensed as she paused in the middle of the hallway. She had barely made it two feet out of the gym before her name was being called. Seemed like people always wanted something from her. When she turned around Sue was coming towards her. A hand curled around her shoulder to draw her nearer. "Come with me."

She was dragged down the hallway and into Sue's office.

Quinn sat down, knowing it would take a lot longer if she didn't play along.

Sue sat back in her chair, staring Quinn down. "I see you've adopted the church choir girl look again faster than Shelby adopted your baby."

Her eyes narrowed. "How did you—"

"There isn't a thing going on in this school that I don't know about."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Allow me to cut to the chase. I recently received funding for the documentary and have even more money to make a 3-D version." She smirked. "All the successful movies are in 3-D these days. What I'm asking ya, Q, is to re-dye your hair that vomit pink color, chop off a couple inches and put on those…classy fishnet stockings so we can destroy that glee club."

"I can't," she replied without hesitation.

Sue leaned forward in her seat. "What do you mean, you can't?"

"I mean, I won't."

"You think you can back out of our deal just because you're dating that Keebler's elf again? You can't," she growled.

Quinn sat back in her seat, barely containing her smile. "I already did."

"You can kiss your couches under the bleachers goodbye, Fabray," she threatened.

Her throat bobbed with a tight swallow at the threat. But really, did it matter if Sue took the couches away? She didn't have any friends to sit on them with anymore. And she couldn't very well agree to destroy the glee club with Sue while she was dating Rachel. How wrong would that be?

"That's fine," she muttered. "Take them. It's not like I'll be using them anymore anyway." She stood up smoothly from her seat and walked towards the door without a backwards glance.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sue asked her. "Get back here and do my bidding!"

* * *

><p>Just when she thought she couldn't afford to be any busier, she was. She was Maria, she was the leader of glee club, and she was— hopefully— future senior class vice president. And now, she was using what little free time she had to hold auditions for new glee club members. They needed some soon if they were even going to hope to even qualify in time for Sectionals.<p>

Finn sat beside her twiddling his thumbs because he was kind of bored and could have been playing _Call__ of__ Duty _right now had Rachel not cornered him and reminded him that he was after all co-captain of the club.

But things were pretty awkward and strained and Rachel wished she had gotten Puck to help instead. Except, he was busy chasing skirts or spending time with Beth, which one, she wasn't sure.

She sighed quietly as her thoughts segued from Puck and Beth to Quinn and Beth. Rachel was a curious person by nature and often wondered about Quinn's feelings pertaining to Beth but she had never asked. That felt like territory that was too personal and Quinn was already a pretty closed off person. Bringing Beth up would probably end in an argument. But Rachel didn't really understand how Quinn had gone two months of knowing she and her daughter now lived in the same town and not made an effort to visit her. It bothered Rachel a little because Quinn's inaction reminded her of Shelby and it was starting to rub her the wrong way.

That had to stay buried in the back of her mind because she and Quinn already had enough to worry about without dragging other complications into the mix.

"Next, please," she called out in the mostly empty auditorium.

Rachel stacked a pile of headshots neatly to her left as Finn called out the name of the next person in line. They sat on the front row in the auditorium as the next person came on stage. "Uh, Candace Simpson."

"Correct," the girl in question, a tall brunette with glasses, said confidently.

Finn smiled. "She's hot," he muttered to himself. "Double check."

"Let me see that." Rachel snatched up the so called checklist he had in front of him with a frown. "Fugly, enough to pass, cute, hot, sexy—Finn Hudson, this list has no bearing on whether or not these girls need to be chosen!" she hissed quietly, glaring at him. "This is an audition for a spot in glee club, not your personal dating pool!"

"Yeah, well maybe if we were dating I wouldn't have to have this list!" he shot back.

"Unprofessional," she grumbled quietly. "Unbelievable."

"Am I going to get to sing soon?" Candace asked.

"Yes, of course." Rachel smiled brightly at the girl. "Whenever you're ready."

She folded her legs tightly in front of her as the girl prepared herself. Her mouth opened and she began to sing.

…She wasn't _terrible_ by any means. Just a little flat but Rachel couldn't contain the cringe that wracked her body once it was all over.

"She was kinda good," Finn whispered to her.

"To the untrained ear, maybe."

"How was I?" Candace asked enthusiastically.

Finn gave her a thumbs up. "Fantastic."

"Yes, well, thank you for auditioning," Rachel told her with a false smile. "Don't call us; we'll call you."

"But you don't have my number."

"I can fix that," Finn volunteered.

Candace flashed a wide smile and bounced off the stage to walk over to them. She wrote her number on the headshot Finn had in his hand, winked at him and walked off. He grinned goofily at Candace's retreating form as Rachel quickly stood to gather her belongings. "I'll see you later, Finn."

"Hey, wait." He stood up. "We're done for good, right? We have a girl now."

"With her? We only have ten people and that's only _if_ Brittany doesn't quit, which I'm still unsure whether she will or not. If she doesn't quit then we still need two more people. I'm flexible enough to accept a male singer if we find one but we definitely need at least one more female vocalist."

He frowned. "Oh. Then—tomorrow? We have to do this again, I guess."

It seemed he didn't want to work with her any more than she did with him. "Look, Finn, I can do this by myself if you want."

He smiled. "Cool."

"Wait just a minute—not _cool_," she exclaimed as he began walking away. "Finn, you are co-captain; we're in this together."

He turned around to face her, exasperation shown clearly on his face. "No offense, Rachel, but we're kinda in this mess because of you."

"How is this my fault?" she asked tightly.

"No one told you to go all dictator or whatever and tell Mercedes and Santana they couldn't rejoin the group. That should have been Mr. Schue's call."

"Excuse me for trying to create a sense of solidarity within the group during turbulent times, Finn."

"I'm not sure what all that means," he admitted, "but I know that now we may not be able to qualify. And it sucks for all of us that are seniors because this is our last year, you know?"

He was asking her if _she_ knew? She ate, slept, and breathed that damn club and he was asking her if she knew?

"We're going to get enough people," she said with conviction. "We're going to qualify."

Finn's head bobbed with a nod. "I hope so."

* * *

><p>Rachel shuffled tiredly into the house, tossing her keys haphazardly onto the hallway table and walking past the kitchen towards the living room.<p>

"Long day, hon?" Leroy asked from the living room couch.

She walked into the living room and dumped herself unceremoniously on the couch. She sank back in the cushions with a relieved sigh. "Long doesn't even begin to cut it, daddy. I had classes, I had to give a speech, I had to hold auditions for glee club because of Shelby." They both frowned at the mention of her. "I had rehearsals, and now I have to deal with not knowing whether or not I'm going to win vice president for another sixteen and a half hours!"

"Settle down, baby girl," he soothed. "Here, watch some _Scrubs _reruns with me."

Rachel chuckled quietly. "You only like this show because Turk and J.D. remind you of you and dad."

He smirked. "Guilty." He reclined back in his seat and stretched an arm out along the back of the couch to curl around Rachel's shoulder. "How are you holding up, Rach?" he asked, looking down at her.

"I'm alright, I suppose," she sighed. "Or at least I will be. It's just jarring to keep receiving bad news when it pertains to Shelby, you know?"

Leroy nodded. He didn't know, couldn't really put himself in her unique situation but he could at least listen to her.

"I mean, I get that she's a competitive person; maybe that's where I get it from," she mused quietly. "But I'm her daughter. Some of that competitiveness should take a backseat when I'm in the equation because my feelings could get hurt and she should care about that…right?" She bit her lip pensively. "She does care, right?"

Leroy was a strong man, he couldn't afford to be weak or squeamish in the profession of a surgeon. But something as simple as Rachel looking to him for answers he couldn't give brought him to his knees. If he was able to be rendered this weak from her, he couldn't imagine Shelby being any different unless she truly was as heartless as his less rational side told him every once in a while.

"I'm sure she cares a lot about you, Rachel. Everyone has a different way of showing it. Remember how Quinn used to treat you?" he winced as soon as the words came out of his mouth because maybe that wasn't most uplifting example to use.

Rachel seemed to get some hidden meaning from it because her lips curled into a small smile. "She _did_ seem to pay me a lot of attention. No matter how negative or misguided that attention was at the time."

"Honey, all I'm saying is, don't be so quick to trust everyone, including Shelby. But at the same time, keep an open mind."

She nodded. "Okay, daddy."

His arm curled around her until they were pressed together in a hug. He dropped a kiss to her hair. "I love you, sweetheart. Your father and I both do; that's one thing you don't ever have to question."

She squeezed him tighter. Maybe she didn't need Shelby after all. She had all she needed right here. If anything, Shelby would be a supplement to something that was already complete. Icing on a cake. Not the actual cake itself. "I love you, too, daddy."

He pulled back to watch TV and she curled against his side, content to sit on the couch and relax a little. After the long day she had had, this was deserved.

"Speaking of Quinn," his voice deepened from parental mode to parental mode: date version. "How are things going with you and her?"

"Everything's fine, daddy," Rachel replied breezily. "We're taking things slowly."

"And how is she?"

"She's blonde," was the first thing that came to Rachel's mind.

Leroy grunted. "I remember. Shocking stuff."

"Mmhmm."

"Almost forgot she _was_ blonde before the…you know." He gesticulated with his hands to signify Quinn's change over the summer.

"She did slip into the whole rebel role quite seamlessly," Rachel agreed. "She'd probably make a terrific actress."

Leroy barked out a laugh because that was such a Rachel observation to make. "You should invite her over," he said warmly. "I'm cooking for Hiram anyway because he'll be home late. I can make something extra for her."

"I'll call her!" Her heart pounded with excitement as she hopped off the couch and into the kitchen to grab the bag she had slung carelessly across one of the chairs. She only had to press one button because she had long ago put Quinn on speed dial and didn't even bother to take her off when they had broken up. The phone rang as she placed it right beside her ear.

"_Hello_?" answered the terse voice over the phone.

"Hi, Quinn."

"_Rachel, __I__'__m__ at __work_."

She winced. "I know, sorry. But daddy wanted me to invite you to dinner tonight."

There was loud background noise of people spouting off orders and one person in particular complaining about the lack of extra pickles on their burger but it all died down until Rachel heard nothing but Quinn's breathing. "_Tonight_?"

"Yes."

"_I_—"

"Please, Quinn?"

"_Hey,__ Quinn,__ I __don__'__t __pay__ you __to __stand __around __and __talk __on __the __phone __all __day!_" Rachel heard a voice shout with authority.

"_Alright,__ already!_" she heard Quinn yell back. She heard some rustling in the background then, "_I __don__'__t __get __off __until __eight_."

"That's perfectly fine," Rachel chirped. She knew what Quinn was doing and wasn't offering an out.

"_Rachel__—_"

"Please?"

She heard an exaggerated sigh followed by a quiet growl. "_Fine_."

"Fantastic!"

"_But__ no__ calling __between __now __and __then. __I__'__ll __see __you __when__ I__ get __off_."

Rachel frowned at the order but complied. She hung up the phone and skipped towards the living room. "She's coming!" She grabbed her father's hand and tugged him up from the couch. "We have to prepare dinner now."

"But we have two hours—"

"Now, daddy!"

Leroy grumbled but nevertheless, rose from the couch to help his daughter in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Quinn stood outside the Berry residence with a contemplative frown. It had been a long day, she was tired, and all she wanted to do was knock out some homework and crawl into bed. She wasn't sure how Leroy and Hiram felt about her but one thing that was for certain was that the door was always open for her and for that, she was grateful. She had few family and even fewer friends. But the Berry men were always that one constant, just as their daughter was. Rachel was stable; no matter where Quinn went or for how long, when she came back, that same wide smile and dark brown eyes would greet her with love and enthusiasm. So why did she always fight it? When you had something that good, it seemed illogical to keep risking losing it.<p>

She blew out a stream of cold air in a quiet sigh and—

The door opened. Rachel stood there with a hand on her hip. "How long are you going to keep us waiting?"

Quinn frowned. "I was thinking."

Rachel grinned and leaned forward to grab Quinn's unoccupied hand. "Well, do your thinking in here."

The door closed behind her and Rachel took her coat. She looked down at the flowers in her hand with a pout. "You always bring them flowers and not me."

"That's because Quinn's trying to woo us and _not_ you." Leroy laughed at Hiram's joke. "You're already a caught fish, honey."

"I am not a caught fish!" she insisted. "Right, Quinn?"

Quinn blinked owlishly because she hadn't even been there for a solid five minutes and already she was being included in a game that her answer was going to be used to decide whether or not Rachel was going to be giving her the cold shoulder for the rest of the night. "Uh…no."

Rachel beamed at her and kissed her on the cheek, bouncing towards the living room with the flowers. "I'll put these in a vase!"

"Nice save," Leroy whispered to Quinn. She smiled, thankful everyone was talking and joking around instead of looking at her hair and her unifor—

"I like your uniform," Rachel said with a teasing smile as she neared Quinn.

She blushed, forgetting she was still wearing what she wore to work: a pair of khaki pants, a black collared shirt and her name tag. Rachel walked up to her with that same insufferable smile, pinching her nametag between her thumb and forefinger. "_Quinn__ Fabray_."

Quinn didn't think it was meant to sound sultry but the hair on the back of her neck stood on end anyway at the low tone of voice Rachel used.

"Alright, you two," Leroy called from somewhere behind them. He had probably picked up on Rachel's voice, too. "Go wash your hands; dinner is ready."

Rachel's fingers slipped from the nametag into the negative spaces of Quinn's own like they belonged there. "Come on, Quinn." She tugged once and they were off towards the stairs.

Dinner was perfect. Which was better than what Quinn had been expecting, all things considered. She had acquired a tolerance for veganism long ago when she had first began dating Rachel, so she wasn't particularly put off when a plate of tofu was placed in front of her. She ate it proudly, Rachel smiling at her the entire time.

When dinner ended she had planned on sitting at the table and engaging Hiram and Leroy in conversation but it seemed the youngest Berry had other plans. Rachel emptied both of their plates and made a grab for Quinn's hand, tossing a goodbye to her fathers and taking to the stairs.

"Keep the door open!"

Rachel closed the door as soon as she and Quinn were inside. "You heard what your dad said," Quinn pointed out because it seemed like the responsible thing to do.

She walked closer to Quinn, wrapping her arms around her waist. "I wanted to spend time with you…alone. We don't get to often because I'm always at rehearsals and you're always working."

Quinn rolled her eyes at the sap story but she couldn't resist wrapping her arms around slim shoulders and drawing her close.

Rachel made a face. "You smell like fries."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Good evening to you, too."

An apologetic kiss was placed on her lips as Rachel pulled away and tugged her onto her bed. "Where are my manners?"

She huffed quietly and listened to Rachel giggle as she buried her face in pale yellow bed sheets. She was beyond tired, had been working since she got out of school and it was eight sharp when she punched out at work and told Rachel she was on her way over and here she was, tired but content as the scent of lilac wafted through her nostrils.

Then Rachel was pressed tightly against her side and combing fingers through her hair and content changed to happy. "Your hair is growing," Rachel murmured.

Quinn made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat. She was unsure whether or not she was going to cut it again. Right now it was at that awkward chin length that she really didn't know what to do with. For now it hung as loosely as it wanted; she occasionally curled and styled it but mostly let it do its own thing. And this wasn't at all like Old Quinn because Old Quinn wouldn't have left the house until she was sure every strand of hair was neatly curled and in place.

Rachel's gaze traveled down Quinn's now blonde hair to the collar of her shirt with an amused smile. If someone had told her two years ago that Quinn Fabray would be performing manual labor she would have laughed in their face. Quinn probably would have, too. Yet here they were.

"How long have you been working at McDonald's?"

"Since June," she sighed. "Madison got me the job."

"And Madison is?"

"Ex."

Oh. Rachel frowned. "You mean that forty year old skate boarder you were dating over the summer?"

Quinn could barely bite back a smile at the edge that had crept into Rachel's voice. "That's the one."

The hand in her hair tugged a little more harshly as it ran through strands.

"Quinn?" Rachel began with that innocent lilt to her voice that always forewarned Quinn that things had about a sixty/forty chance of ending badly.

She groaned and turned her head away in obvious displeasure. "Yes, Rachel?"

"I was just curious…how was she?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How was, you know, the sex?" she asked bluntly. "I mean, I thought the two of us were going to explore the realm of lesbian sex together but since you've already tackled that area, I'm curious—"

"Hold on a second." Quinn sat up abruptly, folding her legs underneath her to face Rachel. "You said you weren't going to have sex until you were twenty-five."

Rachel nodded. "Yes, that's correct."

"But you just said you…and I—and…" her eyes widened. Could Rachel possibly be alluding to _that_? "Oh," she breathed.

Understanding dawned on her as Rachel fidgeted nervously, her gaze dipping to stare at her bed sheets. She felt like a fool.

"Rachel—"

"I know, okay? I-I'm naïve and should probably get my head out of the clou—"

Quinn leaned forward and mashed their lips together forcefully because _yes,_ Rachel was young and naïve but Quinn was charmed and smitten in that moment. She had never met anyone like Rachel and she probably never would again. And maybe she was naïve too because if Rachel wanted Quinn to be in her bedroom when she turned twenty-five and was ready for sex then Quinn didn't really see anywhere else she needed to be.

That thought was probably going to keep her awake for the entire night.

"I love you," she mumbled against Rachel's lips when she pulled back.

Rachel beamed a megawatt smile. "I love you too, Quinn."

Crisis averted, Quinn collapsed back onto her stomach, facing Rachel. She wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist. The pads of her fingers gently pressed into her lower back. Rachel smiled at the slight weight anchoring her to the bed as she began playing in Quinn's hair again. "I still can't believe you dyed it."

"You liked it better pink?"

"Not necessarily. I had just grown accustomed to it after two months of seeing it."

"I can dye it back."

"Do you even want to?"

Quinn shrugged.

"Hmm, keep it blonde." She mussed over Quinn's hair a little until her hand was swatted away. "I like it blonde."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

"Hey, Quinn?"

She laughed a little. "Hey, Rachel."

Rachel's lips rubbed together nervously. "How would you feel if I asked you to rejoin glee club?"

The fingers that had been strumming along Rachel's lower back screeched to a halt. "I'd feel awkward," she admitted.

"Quinn—"

"Rachel, I don't know if—"

"Just hear me out?" she asked against the shell of Quinn's ear, and when did she even get that close?

The close proximity seemed to work because Quinn sank further into Rachel's bed sheets and motioned for her to continue.

Rachel pulled back, taking a deep breath. "We need at least two more to even qualify for Sectionals. Quinn, this is our final year and I want to get it right…with you."

The weight of her statement crashed into Quinn with the subtlety of a ton of bricks. But that was okay because Rachel never did subtle. She was full of bold statements and declarations and this was no different. How could Quinn say no to a request like that?

"It would still be awkward," she grumbled.

"It would mean the world to me," Rachel countered quietly. She had a way of speaking that made Quinn feel like the most special person in the world. She had a way of pitching her voice lower and more intimately that let Quinn know what Rachel was saying was meant for her and only her.

"Okay," she breathed because she literally had no defenses when it came to that voice.

Rachel squealed and the next thing Quinn felt were warm thighs on either side of her hips. Slim arms wrapped around her from behind as Rachel buried her face in her neck. She dotted little kisses against the soft skin. "Thank you," she murmured against her flesh.

She placed a kiss to the nape of her neck and Quinn shivered as Rachel pulled away to lie next to her again.

Rachel looked down to see the smile on Quinn's face and her heart fluttered. _She_ put that smile there. She was the one that made Quinn happy and it always made her happy to see her smile.

Which was why their break up never made sense to her. If she made Quinn as happy as she saw her now, then why did Quinn leave? She scooted back to get a better look at Quinn. Sometimes she just couldn't apply logic when it came to the girl in front of her because Quinn seemed to defy it.

Quinn's eyes opened to find Rachel staring down at her. She looked confused and a little troubled. "What's wrong?"

Her mouth opened and closed in indecision before the words, "Didn't I make you happy?" fell from her lips. Because—_didn__'__t_ she?

Rachel hadn't meant for the desperation in her voice to blanket the entire conversation with a somber mood but that question had been gnawing away at her heart since May.

Quinn froze guiltily at the haunted look of pain and frustration that was quickly taking over Rachel's face. She sat up slowly to face Rachel, wondering what to say. "Of course you made me happy, Rachel. I've never—" her throat bobbed tightly and she rubbed self-consciously at the back of her neck. She had never done anything quite like this before—talking about her feelings and fears. But those dark, innocent eyes were watching her expectantly, expecting her to make amends for old wounds that had never had the chance to heal. "Rachel, being with you was the happiest I had ever been. And most of the time…it was the only time I was happy."

Relief and happiness swirled through her eyes only to be replaced by confusion. "Then I don't understand; if I made you happy, then why did you break up with me?"

It was a simply question, really, but she didn't know how to answer. She wasn't a hopeless romantic, she didn't have a way with words. She was just a teenaged girl that _felt_ and had feelings no matter what Finn said.

"You were the only thing in my life that made me happy," she whispered so quietly Rachel had to scoot closer to hear. "And I'm not saying that to just say it, okay? You were the only person that—" her voice pitched and died off in the telltale sign that she would be crying soon and she cursed inwardly at her own weakness. "Nothing made me happy, Rachel, _nothing_. Not my mother, my father wasn't even around, not school, I didn't really have friends. You…you were everything."

Rachel's heart didn't know whether to swell with pride or shatter completely because under all of this was a _but _and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

"And that scared me because-because I came to rely on you." When Rachel saw tears brimming in hazel eyes her heart ended up cracking right down the middle. Her throat constricted tightly with emotion. She had never been able to handle seeing Quinn cry.

"I was so happy when I was with you. But I was so miserable when you were away."

"Quinn," she whispered sadly. She flung herself towards the girl in front of her and wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders. She rose on her knees and gently guided Quinn to lay her head on her chest. Quinn didn't hesitate, burying her face into Rachel, her arms winding around her waist.

"It scared me," she said quietly. "It scared me to be that dependent on someone; that's not healthy. I was feeling too many extremes. I felt—before I was with you I didn't feel anything, you know? I wasn't happy but I wasn't sad either. But when I was with you and couldn't be near you I felt so _alone_ and just sad and thought if I broke up with you it'd stop."

Rachel exhaled deeply as Quinn clung to her. It was hard reconciling the need to comfort Quinn with the betrayal she felt because of Quinn breaking up with her. But she pushed it aside because Quinn needed this and so did she.

"So, I tried something new, you know? I tried to put other people in my life to be happy about. I went out and I got friends—"

"And you got a girlfriend," Rachel muttered.

"I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to see if I was capable of _being_ happy aside from when I was with you."

"I know, I know." Rachel's lips brushed against her temple. "I'm sorry."

"But I missed you," Quinn sighed against her collarbone. "I knew I would, I just didn't know how much." Her grip around Rachel's waist tightened. "I missed you every day, Rachel."

Rachel kissed the top of her head. Her heart fluttered against her ribcage and right then and there she knew she was a goner. "I missed you, too."

"And seeing you at school, seeing you with Finn." Her brow furrowed. "I don't know; I didn't like it."

"It was only fair that I got to move on too, Quinn."

"I know."

Rachel pulled away when she felt Quinn was calm enough. She rubbed a hand across her face in frustration. "You broke up with me; it was only fair that I moved on."

Quinn met her eyes at the sharp tone of her voice. She bit her tongue, studying Rachel's tensed shoulders. Everything needed to be said and they both knew it. They couldn't afford to spare feelings if they were trying to move on from this.

"You're here now," Quinn dared to point out.

"_You__'__re_ here now."

Quinn scooted closer. Her hand hooked under Rachel's thigh to bring the two of them even closer. "I'm here now," she promised.

Rachel gripped her shirt. "For how long?"

"How long do you want me here?"

She bit her lip nervously. "What if I said I always want you here?"

"I'll be here," she said quietly.

The grip on her shirt tightened as Rachel pulled her closer. "Promise me, Quinn. Promise me or just walk away now because I can't handle this happening a second time. I—"

"I promise," Quinn whispered.

Rachel watched as the pink tips of her hair fluttered down to tickle her chin with a quiet smile. "Quinn, I-I want you to be my girlfriend."

Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Hmm, no."

"_No_?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"Quinn," Rachel whined. "Don't tease! This is not the time!"

Quinn leaned forward until their lips brushed. "You remember the power motto, Rachel."

She did. She remembered it very well because under the rule of the power motto she had been rendered a hot, sticky, quivering, unsatisfied mess many times in the past much to Quinn's amusement. She scowled at her. "It's not nice to play with someone's emotions."

Slim arms wound themselves around her a moment later and like magic, she wasn't upset anymore. Not that she ever was. Quinn placed a kiss against her neck. "Sorry," she murmured as Rachel moaned. Her gaze fell to the clock on Rachel's nightstand with a quiet sigh. "I have to go home."

Rachel snuggled deeper in Quinn's arms. "Five more minutes."

She groaned in annoyance because she knew she wouldn't be able to say no. Rachel giggled quietly as Quinn plopped back down on her bed. "Five more minutes," she said sternly. "I do have homework, after all."

"And I'm glad you finally started doing homework again."

"Yeah, yeah."

Rachel turned her head sideways to where Quinn was resting with a small smile. She looked so peaceful for once. She looked normal, like _her_ Quinn even if there were still pink tips in her blonde hair alluding to a time when her girlfriend refused to conform. Her smile turned into a grin. _Girlfriend._ That was all kinds of awesome.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips softly against her forehead. She received an answering smile and giggled quietly before doing it again. Her skin was addicting—if one could healthily become addicted to skin. It was warm and soft and didn't smell of cigarettes. No, her Quinn smelled like coconut shampoo, vanilla or strawberry lip gloss, and occasionally honey.

Rachel still had no idea how Quinn managed to smell like honey.

She kissed along Quinn's temple and down the side of her face. It didn't matter how she managed to smell so good, just as long as she always did. Rachel peppered kisses down her cheek and along the edge of her jawline. She lifted up onto her hands and knees to hover over the prone body beneath her when Quinn stirred. Her lips pressed deeply against the underside of Quinn's jaw. "Rachel," she warned.

The warning fell on deaf ears as a trail of kisses was placed back up her face to her temple. Rachel rested her forehead there. Her breathing had elongated. Her chest rose and fell more drastically and Quinn wrapped a comforting arm around her. Everything quieted and the only thing she could feel was the soft exhale against the side of her face. But she understood the frustration and offered what little comfort she could.

Rachel placed another kiss right beside her ear. It felt so good to be able to kiss and touch her again after not being able to for months and then having to think about Quinn while she was making out with Finn just to be able to enjoy herself. Now that she had the real thing in front of her, she could barely contain her excitement.

Quinn laid perfectly still, trying her hardest not to entice her girlfriend any more than she already seemed to be tempted. Rachel's virginity was something she actually took seriously and if they started out this strongly this fast, it would only be a matter of time before they both wanted to raise the stakes.

But it seemed Rachel wouldn't be tamed today.

Her head lifted up and Quinn's eyes locked onto rapidly darkening brown. Rachel's lips parted, her tongue briefly brushing her lips before she leaned down again. She kissed an achingly slowly, deliberate path across Quinn's cheek to the side of her mouth. Her hands reached up to cradle the back of Quinn's neck, nails scratching and Quinn moaned quietly as Rachel's mouth descended upon hers. It was almost hesitant but for the fact that they had done it so many times in the past. Rachel's hair fell across the both of them as her bottom lip slid between two full ones and—

The evening ended with Rachel and Quinn having to take two very separate, very cold showers.

* * *

><p>Her grades were improving.<p>

That was her first thought as she sat perched atop her bed, reading the comments her teacher left on the expository essay she had written for biology. She had spent the better part of two days on it and it showed in the circled, red colored _A_ that was written at the top of her paper. A hand came up to smooth a lock of blonde hair behind her ear and—

She froze.

That was new. Old, but so old it was new—she was blonde now. Again. With hair long enough that it got in the way when she leaned down over the stove while she was cooking or when she hunched over the kitchen table to work her math problems without distraction.

Her hair hadn't been _long_ since…since Rachel used to tug on it months ago when they would make out. She smirked a little at the thought. Then the paper held limply in her hands was forgotten about because now she was more or less thinking about sex. And not just sex but not-so-novel concepts like Rachel and sex _together_. The first time she had thought about sex in relation to Rachel knocked the wind out of her because it could not have come at a more inappropriate time. She had been in the middle of sex with her ex-girlfriend, Madison. They were making out and suddenly Madison was in-between Quinn's legs and _suddenly_ Quinn wondered if anyone had ever performed oral on Rachel. Thoughts of whether or not anyone had performed oral on Rachel turned into thoughts of _her_ performing oral on Rachel and before she knew it, she had been keening and arching into Madison's mouth because, what would Rachel taste like? What sounds would she make? And _would__ she__ return__ the__ favor_—holy shit.

When it came time for Madison to use her fingers the same train of thought took her to Rachel, tight and wet around her fingers and Quinn didn't even last five minutes after that.

They had made out in the past but Quinn's thoughts of Rachel hadn't really strayed far from thinking about kissing her and touching her breasts a little. The whole wanting to have sex with her thing crashed into her like a freight train. There was just something so appealing about Rachel being a virgin that made Quinn feel like a teenaged boy. Now she understood why Finn and Puck had been vying for her own virginity two years ago. It was…tempting to have. To take.

…With permission, of course.

Inadvertently, sex with her ex-girlfriend while thinking about Rachel had taught her that sex could actually be enjoyable with the right person. And though Madison wasn't the right person, Quinn got as much enjoyment as she could when she thought about the right person.

"Quinn?"

Her wide eyes and blown pupils whirled over to her mother's knocking on the other side of the door. "Come in," she choked out, clenching her thighs together.

Judy opened the door and poked her head in. "I was just checking on you." She opened the door wider and walked into the room. "You didn't come home until two hours after you got off work and I was worried."

Apparently not worried enough to call or text. "I was at a friend's house."

"Who?"

"A friend," Quinn said pointedly.

She didn't want to say girlfriend and open up that can of worms but the small frown Judy gave with the muttered "Oh", alerted her to the fact that she understood anyway. "Well, either way, I'm glad you're—"

Her eyes slowly floated upward to the wall above her daughter's head.

"What?" Quinn asked suspiciously. She turned her head to gaze back at whatever Judy was looking at and her eyes widened in horror. Her head whipped back around to find Judy's mouth opened in shock.

"I-is that…her?" she whispered.

Quinn swallowed thickly. "Yes," she said just as quietly.

Judy's eyes were practically glued to that picture, that smile, those eyes, that small nose. "How did you—where—Quinn—" She looked to her daughter to help her out because there were just _so __many_ questions and she wasn't sure she could articulate them all. Her brain felt fried and she couldn't look between her daughter and the picture fast enough. They looked so much alike it made Judy's heart ache.

"Shelby adopted her," Quinn began, voice devoid of emotion. "She's back now and she teaches at McKinley. I asked for a photo and this is her. This is Beth."

"Quinn, she's beautiful," Judy breathed in awe.

"She is," Quinn agreed quietly. "She's perfect."

"Have you seen her?" She had yet to take her eyes off the photo.

"Not yet." Her expression darkened. "Shelby hasn't allowed me to see her yet but I'm going to soon."

She wanted to ask if she could go with her to see her granddaughter but bit her tongue. After she and Russell had practically forced Quinn into giving Beth up for adoption by putting thoughts in her head of how there was no way she could succeed in life and provide a life for her daughter by keeping her, it almost seemed hypocritical to jump at the chance to see her. But she wanted to.

Judy wondered how Quinn wasn't crying this very moment because she could feel her own eyes mist over but she held the tears back. It didn't feel right to cry when her daughter, the mother, wasn't. She looked to where her daughter was facing away and her chin-length hair was obscuring her face and—there was a disconnect. There always was but it had never felt more apparent than now. She felt like a failure. She had failed her daughter and she failed her granddaughter because Beth could have been right here, right now had she and Russell simply told Quinn _it__'__s__ okay _at least once. Beth could have been here right now if she had acted like a mother instead of a scared housewife the moment she found out Quinn was pregnant. A mother always knows; that was what she had told Quinn so many times in her life and Quinn's pregnancy was no different. She could see her daughter changing, suffering in frustration, embarrassment, and despair and she hadn't reached out. And she'd regret it every day just as she knew Quinn did.

"I hope you get to see her soon, honey." She took a shaky breath. "Take lots of pictures for me."

Neither one of them really knew how to proceed but Judy was feeling stripped bare and Quinn wasn't feeling much better, so when her mother leaned forward and tugged her into a hug, Quinn did the only thing that would come close to returning it.

She stayed there.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N 1:**To anyone new that may have just picked up this story: welcome! To the people that have been here from the beginning and to my faithful reviewers, I hope you're still enjoying and thank you for reviewing! :)

To the confused reader from last chapter, Quinn didn't break up with Rachel because she was panicking about being gay. Their relationship was a secret to anyone outside of glee club at the time. She broke up with Rachel essentially because she had never been happy until she started dating Rachel and subsequently, she had never been as depressed as she was when Rachel was away. She felt like she was too dependent on Rachel and didn't like being dependent on anyone. I hope that explains it better. It's also covered in this chapter pretty heavily.

**A/N 2: **This chapter was embarrassing to write. Too many feelings to write, haha. But I hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

><p>There were a lot of things Quinn had never known until she was made aware via dating Rachel Berry. She hadn't known there was a difference between loving someone and being <em>in<em> love with someone. She hadn't known that her body was capable of the levels of arousal Rachel was able to take her to. She hadn't known that loving someone so fiercely could in turn have a negative effect, making her feel levels of depression she had never felt.

And it was her fault, really. It was her fault for not having anything else in her life that made her happy aside from Rachel. When they had first began dating, Rachel was all she had. Rachel was what made her happy and subsequently, _lacking_ Rachel threw her into embarrassing misery because nothing else filled that void. Rachel couldn't possibly understand because aside from Quinn, she had singing, and two loving fathers, and two friends. She had a motivation to get out of Lima that kept her going. But as Quinn had tried to tick off a list months ago for what she had, aside from Rachel, she didn't have anything. She didn't want to depend on only Rachel for happiness and stupidly left her in an attempt to acquire other things to see if she was capable of being happy outside of Rachel. And she was, somewhat. The Skanks made her happy. Their questionable influence on Quinn aside, they were great friends, family that provided Quinn with shelter, companionship and laughs when she needed it. And her ex-girlfriend wasn't bad. She secured Quinn a job and further cemented her sexuality for her. She showed Quinn that sex could actually be enjoyable, provided wisdom that only decades of living could create.

Quinn was happy. Not _dating__ Rachel__ Berry__ happy_, but happy. But seeing Rachel that first day of school kicked started her heart and split it open to bleed all at once. Kissing Rachel made her entire body ache in remembrance of the days when she could have do it whenever she wanted. And suddenly every day she was missing her more and more.

But she had her now. Again. And though she could already feel herself falling hard and fast all over again, deeper this time because she was already halfway there the first time, she was determined not to mess it up. She was going to keep her and work on herself at the same time if she could because Rachel begged her not to hurt her again and there was no way Quinn could willingly break her heart a second time. She didn't know how this was going to work but she needed to keep her head above water, swim or she would surely drown for good.

Her thoughts were cut short when her alarm clock blared after its five minute reprieve when she had pressed the snooze button. She tossed the covers back and sat up in bed.

She walked into her closet and looked around. One side contained all of her frilly dresses while the other side contained cut off shirts, black skirts, studded belts. Nothing but a gap of space separated them and Quinn stood there, unsure of what to wear to school. There was about a half hour left before she had to be downstairs, eating breakfast and hurrying out the door. She bit her lip in contemplation.

There was a middle ground between the person she was over the summer and the person she had been her entire life.

Somewhere.

There had to be.

Quinn exited her closet and grabbed a duffel bag from under her bed. She shoved a black cut off t-shirt, boots, and skirt in it just in case she felt like changing later. For now, this solution would do. When she ran downstairs to walk to the door her mother stopped her halfway there.

"I don't want to be late, mom," she said exasperatedly as she slowly turned around to find Judy staring at her.

"It's just—I, well—" she walked forward and enveloped her arms around Quinn before either one of them spent too much time thinking about it and backed out. Quinn stood rigid in her arms, shocked beyond belief. Her hands curled into fists that shook at her side as Judy's embrace tightened.

Judy pulled away and they both avoided eye contact. "Have a good day, Quinn."

Quinn choked back a swallow. "You, too."

She was out the door and headed towards her car a moment later.

* * *

><p>Rachel won vice president. As if there was ever any doubt. Kurt was president and together they were already planning on implementing new programs in the school. She was excited; it felt good to go from the bottom of the social ladder to the top her senior year in school. Whether people liked her or not, they had to respect her because she was in a position of power. She smiled, wondering if this was what Quinn felt like when she was head Cheerio.<p>

There was some swift movement of red, white, and black in her peripheral and just as Rachel turned towards the person quickly coming for her a slushie was tossed carelessly in her face.

The bite of cold, crushed ice drew her mouth open in shock because it _stung _badly and it had been months since she had felt this. Purple crushed ice slid down her face and into her open mouth. She felt goosebumps prick along her chest against the cold feel, her lungs felt frozen over; it felt like the ice was seeping into her skin.

Awareness came to her in the form of loud cackling and Rachel wiped purple corn syrup away from her eyes to see Santana standing proudly in front of her, Azimio beside her with a large, now empty cup in his hand.

"What was that _for_?" Rachel exclaimed loudly. Anger and embarrassment pulled her shoulders taut. Her eyes closed in horror as she felt her cream colored bra staining because of the purple dye. It was a new bra, too, a real one. Not like the training bras she had been wearing up until that point. She had finally convinced her fathers to allow her to shop in the Women's Lingerie and Sleepwear section in JC Penney's and now her new bra that she had been excited about was ruined.

Santana smirked victoriously at the miserable look on her face. "I'm not friends with Q anymore," she said with a shrug. "I'm not in glee; I don't have to pretend to like you, Berry."

"Gay freak!" Azimio shouted.

Everyone gave pause at that, including Santana. She leaned over to whisper something to him and his shoulders slumped. He took a step back from the situation.

When she looked back, Rachel was glaring at her. "A little hypocritical of you of all people, don't you think?"

"Whatever," she scoffed. She stepped forward and got into Rachel's face. "The point is, expect more of these." She swiped a finger down Rachel's cheek and stuck it in her mouth. "Tastes good."

She swung her hair in Rachel's face as she and Azimio walked away. Rachel stood there, stunned and embarrassed as passersby gawked and pointed fingers, laughing at her predicament. She was knocked out of her stupor when she felt ice slick down her stomach. She felt like an idiot because she hadn't been slushied in two and a half months and she thought that was enough confirmation to stop bringing a change of clothes to school.

There was no telling where her tears ended and the syrup in her eyes began as she ran down the hallway, head down towards the bathroom. She ran to the farthest stall and slammed it shut, locking it quickly. Her school bag dropped heavily to the floor and her arms caught and tangled in her dress as she tried to quickly pull it over her head. She was freezing, her hair stuck to her back when the dress was finally lifted it off her head. She tossed it up to hang on the door of the stall and sank back against the toilet with a weary sigh. Her breath hiccupped with sobs as shaky hands fished through her bag to pull her phone out. She quickly texted the only person that she could bear to see her like this.

_**Could you come help me? :(**_

Her teeth gritted together as she felt the corn syrup dripping lower on her body. But she didn't move, couldn't move because she felt like if she made one more move she was going to burst into hysterics. Before her thoughts could further darken, her phone vibrated with a text from Quinn.

_**What's wrong? Where are you?**_

_**I'm in the second floor bathroom where the science classes are.**_

Less than a minute later her phone vibrated again.

_**I'm on the way.**_

She hoped Quinn wasn't missing a class too important to tend to her and bit her lip guiltily because Quinn was trying to improve and didn't need distractions like Rachel crying in a bathroom stall, covered in slushie to impede the process.

Rachel dropped her phone in her bag and wound her arms around herself, shivering. She gathered her hair around one shoulder and gripped it tightly, wringing out the melted ice and corn syrup. Relief flooded through her when she heard the creak of the bathroom door open.

"Rachel?"

"Right here, Quinn," she whimpered.

Confident footsteps could be heard getting closer and Rachel unlocked and opened the door. Quinn slipped inside, jaw tightening as she took Rachel in. Her hair was soaked, clinging to her shoulders, corn syrup was smeared across her face, she kept blinking rapidly to keep it from her eyes, syrup ran from her neck down to her chest, inside her stained bra. Hard nipples strained against the fabric and Quinn's eyes respectfully dipped lower to where the corn syrup dripped to a stop along the soft plane of her stomach.

Her voice shook with barely contained anger. "Who did this to you?"

"Quinn, it's not—"

"_Who_, Rachel?" she shouted.

Rachel took a step towards the door. "I can't talk to you when you're like this."

Quinn blocked her path. "I can't help you if you won't tell me who did it."

"Quinn, you can comfort me and offer to help clean me up. Just…tell me it's going to be okay; don't try to go fight whoever did this to me."

Her lips pressed together as she quieted down. She wasn't good at comforting people; she was good at reacting, spewing hurtful words to protect the people she cared about.

"Quinn?"

But she could try.

She reached out tentatively, her hand curved around a bare, tan shoulder and Rachel shivered as Quinn took a step closer. She looked right through Rachel, as if contemplating something before she finally whispered, "This shouldn't have happened to you."

Rachel shared the same sentiment. She thought that becoming senior class vice president would have garnered her some respect but that didn't seem to be the case.

Quinn stood back a moment later, eying Rachel. "We need to get you cleaned up. I have a duffel bag full of clothes in my locker."

"You have a slushie emergency kit, too?"

Quinn hesitated. "No. But I have extra clothes, just—hold on." She turned and unlocked the stall, quickly slipping out. The next thing Rachel heard was the paper towel dispenser and running water. The bathroom door opened and her heart leapt out of her chest.

"Get out of here!" she heard Quinn shout to whoever it was. A yelp resounded followed by the door shutting. Rachel shook her head in sympathy for the girl incurring Quinn's wrath for what Santana had done to her.

The stall door opened and Quinn walked in with a wad of damp paper towels, shutting and locking the stall behind her. There was nothing that needed to be said between them. Rachel didn't even have to ask—Quinn just reached up, touching the wet-warm paper towel to her face. "Close your eyes," she murmured. Rachel's eyes slipped shut and Quinn meticulously wiped them clean, her eyelashes, her eyelids, her eyebrows. She dragged the paper towel lower and across her cheeks as dark eyes opened to look at her again. The paper towel dragged along her chin before Quinn pulled back. "Better?"

Her eyes didn't sting anymore and she offered a grateful smile. "Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn hummed quietly. She reached out again. Her hand curled loosely around Rachel's throat, her thumb resting just below her jaw. They locked eyes then as Quinn gently tilted her face to the side. Rachel exhaled shakily when she felt her thumb brush softly back and forth. Quinn leaned down, slowly rubbing the paper towel back and forth across the column of her throat. The towel dipped lower towards her chest her breath quickened. She gasped quietly when the pad of Quinn's thumb brushed over the top of her breast.

"It's still wet," Quinn said hoarsely.

_How__'__d__ she__ know_, was the first thought that entered Rachel's mind before she realized Quinn was talking about her bra. "Oh." She cleared her throat. "It's a little stained; I'll have to wash it."

Quinn tried her hardest not to look but Rachel's nipples were unbearably hard and they were staring at her more than she was staring at them. "I—you—you'll have to take that…off," she mumbled. "Do you have another?"

"Another bra at school?" she laughed a little breathlessly then realized that the notion wasn't so absurd because she had had an extra set of everything in her locker last year. "No, I don't. I didn't think this would happen again."

Quinn's eyes flashed. "Did Santana do this?"

"Quinn—"

"And don't lie."

Rachel nodded and Quinn growled quietly. She had already known but knowing was different from having it confirmed. She didn't utter another word as the paper towel skimmed down Rachel's breasts and wiped the plane of her stomach. Next, Quinn ran the paper towel through her hair to collect residual ice chunks and to dry it as much as she could. When she was done she turned towards the door. "I'll be back with some clothes," she called roughly over her shoulder.

She left Rachel standing there awkwardly, half aroused, half upset because the last thing anyone needed was Quinn flying off the handle over this. Quinn came back soon and the tight space inside the stall became even tighter with her duffel bag taking up space. She looked Rachel up and down critically before a bemused smile pulled her lips up. "I don't think you'll like wearing these clothes."

She eyed her suspiciously. "Well, what kind of clothes are they?"

Quinn unzipped the bag and pulled out the black cut off shirt.

Rachel bit her lip. "No, thank you."

She barked out a laugh. "Okay…uh—" She looked down to the peach colored dress she had on then back up at Rachel. "You could wear this and I could wear these," she said, lifting the shirt in her hand in emphasis.

Rachel continued to chew her lip in thought. There really didn't seem to be any other option. And she was most definitely _not _going to put on the other set of clothes Quinn had. "I'll take the dress, please."

Her duffel bag hit the floor and she tossed her shirt on top of it. Then turned around, presenting her back to Rachel. "Unzip me?"

Rachel swallowed thickly. What had she just gotten herself into? A trembling hand reached up to grab Quinn's zipper. She tugged softly, slowly, watching as her dress parted to give way to pale, creamy skin. She was torturing herself now, pulling a band-aid off slowly instead of ripping it to spare herself the ache. But what a delicious ache it was. Her other hand grabbed the bottom of the zipper at the base of Quinn's spine to more smoothly guide the process. The dress fell away completely but she couldn't resist pressing her fingertips to Quinn's lower back. Rachel didn't approve of the tattoo she had there but she couldn't deny it was an appealing place to have it. She traced it softly as Quinn trembled in front of her. "What are you doing?" she breathed.

"I don't know," Rachel admitted. All she knew was that the more skin she got to touch, the more heat flared low in her belly.

Quinn took her bottom lip between her teeth to bite back a whimper as she felt Rachel's fingers drag along the curve of her ass. She took a deep breath and turned around. Rachel gasped quietly at the sight of rapidly darkening hazel eyes. Quinn practically shoved the dress at her because this needed to be over with quickly. "Put it on."

Suddenly shy under her hungry gaze, Rachel's eyes dipped low as she turned around. Her fingers crawled up her back and deftly unhooked her bra clasp. A soft sound escaped Quinn as the stained bra fell away. Her wide eyes drank in the golden, smooth plane of Rachel's back. She hadn't seen her topless in months and her hands itched to touch her. Everywhere.

Rachel pulled the dress over her head and looked over her shoulder to catch hazel eyes in obvious invitation.

Quinn stepped up, grabbing the dress at the base of Rachel's spine and pulling the zipper up. Soft, tan skin escaped her vision slowly as the dress pulled together and ended at the top of her spine. Her hands slid to Rachel's hips, trembling with indecision. Eventually, her arms wrapped loosely around Rachel's waist and tugged her closer. Her lips brushed against the side of her neck and Rachel sighed quietly as her head tipped back, dark hair spilling over a pale shoulder.

This wasn't the ideal place to be but they had grown together so much in the past through interactions in the bathroom that it almost felt like tradition. This was the place they came to when things weren't going well between them or when things were going _so_ well that Quinn had Rachel pinned to a stall door, shushing her moaning as she tongued her pulse point, greedy hands caressing tender skin under argyle sweaters.

She could feel the heat from Quinn's body pressed against her back and squirmed in place because she wanted to feel everything without the scratch of the dress she had on obstructing. She felt the press of Quinn's breasts obstructed by her bra, the concave of her stomach, hips that nestled her ass perfectly, supple thighs pressing against the backs of her own, the broad stroke of a tongue along the column of her throat. She moaned her name softly, fidgeting where she stood.

"Hmm?" Quinn hummed against her skin.

Rachel licked her lips. "I want to feel you," she breathed.

She could feel Quinn smile against her skin before placing a parting kiss there and moving away. Rachel cursed herself quietly; if she would have kept her mouth shut, Quinn would still be holding her right now.

When she turned around, Quinn had her shirt halfway on, shimmying into a short black skirt. She flashed Rachel a roguish grin that traveled straight between her legs. Then she bent down to pick up a pair of studded black boots. "Can we switch positions?" Rachel swallowed thickly and Quinn smirked. "I mean, can you take my spot and I take yours by the toilet? I need to sit down to put these boots on."

Rachel barely resisted rolling her eyes as she and Quinn switched positions so Quinn could put her boots on. She stood to her full height when she was done and Rachel drank her in. The outfit wasn't as intimidating without the full head of pink hair but she still looked a formidable force. Just as Quinn always did. Quinn looked towards her slicked back hair with a frown. "Should we wash it now?"

"It can wait," Rachel told her. "Though I normally did wash it after a slushie, I found that it still holds up without washing it. And you need to get to class, so…"

"Are you sure?"

She smiled. "I'm sure, Quinn."

"Okay, if you're sure. Ready to go?" she asked.

Rachel nodded a little. "Just—" she walked forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn's neck. "Thank you, Quinn. I truly appreciate this."

Her lips twisted into a grimace. "I'll get her back for this."

"Quinn, don't," Rachel sighed. "Just—walk me to class?"

Quinn didn't say anything more. She grabbed her bag from the floor and Rachel grabbed her own, intertwining their fingers and, together, they walked out of the bathroom and down the hallway. Quinn didn't say anything because no matter what Rachel said, she was going to get Santana back for what she did.

* * *

><p>She hadn't been actively pursuing Santana but when she spotted her at her locker at the end of the day, she couldn't pass up the opportunity.<p>

She walked swiftly down the hallway. Her fingers curled around the locker door and she slammed it shut as hard as she could.

Santana yelped, yanking her hand back as the locker loudly clamped shut. "Watch it, _skank_!"

"What is your problem?" Quinn growled lowly.

Brittany frowned sadly because she knew from the beginning that this wouldn't end well. Clear blue eyes looked on helplessly as Quinn grew angrier with each passing second.

Santana shrugged flippantly. "I don't know what you're talking about. Come on, Britts."

Quinn grabbed her arm and roughly slammed her back against the locker, sneering down at her. "You're not going anywhere."

"Get off me!" Santana shouted.

"Shut up." Quinn tossed a glance over her shoulder to find a small group of students whom stayed after school. "Mind your damned business!"

"Get out of here!" Santana echoed.

The crowd quickly dispersed and when Quinn turned back around, Santana shoved her away. "I said stay away from me."

"No." Quinn walked closer. "You've been trying to get my attention for weeks and I'm sick of you using Rachel to do it. So, I'll ask again. What. Do. You. Want."

"Heard you and Man-Hands are the top lesbian bitches in this school. You like munching on that treasure trail?" she spat.

"Shut _up_!" Quinn shouted. Her fists shook at her sides and Santana looked down, smiling cruelly.

"You wanna hit me?"

"Santana, don't," Brittany cut in.

"You think your father can save you from expulsion?" she taunted further. "You think you can kick my ass, Q? Care to test that theory?"

"Santana, that's enough," Brittany said firmly. "Either tell Quinn why you've been doing this or leave her alone."

Quinn's eyes flicked to Brittany. "There's a reason she's been acting like this?"

"B, don't say anything," Santana warned.

She continued, not afraid in the slightest. "Santana's upset because you stopped being friends with us and started being friends with the Skanks." Her lips pulled down into a huge frown. "We miss you, Q."

Quinn rocked back at the declaration and looked to her strangely. "Brittany, no offense, but…would you really consider what the three of us used to have a friendship?"

Brittany's head bobbed up and down without hesitation. "We were friends. San and I loved each other and—"

"See, that's just it," she replied tightly. "You and Santana had…whatever it was you had." She looked between the two of them. "And I—what I shared with you guys was hardly a friendship. We weren't close."

"We slept at each other's houses," Brittany said feebly. "All the time. I allowed you to see the _Playboy_ collection Lord Tubbington had under my bed; I don't just let just _anyone _see that."

Despite the situation, Quinn gave a bemused smile. "Britt, I—" she sighed quietly with a helpless shrug. She didn't know what to say. It was hard to win arguments with Brittany. Her eyes slid over to Santana who was up against the locker, her arms folded, brow furrowed, watching the whole exchange but not weighing in. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Quinn asked, almost curiously.

"Whatever," she scoffed, kicking her sneakered foot out. "If you never thought we were all friends in the first place then you're free to go back to those _skanks_. But oh, wait." Her index finger touched her lifted chin as if she was deep in thought. "They dumped you on your _ass_ just like you left us."

"That was hardly the same," she gritted out tersely.

She shrugged. "Point is, you have no one. 'Cept, Berry. But is she really _anyone_?"

"Watch your mouth," she said sternly. "She's been more of a friend than you ever were."

"_Was _she? Where was she during your meltdown the night before Nationals when you were complaining about wanting someone to love you?"

"I had just broken up with her; of course she wasn't going to be there or me when I was crying!"

"We're the ones that sat with you on that cheap, brick hard mattress having bed while you cried for hours!"

"Your solution to my problems was for me to cut my hair!" she yelled hysterically. Her eyes shifted along the hallway to make sure no one was around. She walked towards Santana. "I told you I broke up with Rachel because it scared me that I could feel so miserable whenever we weren't together!" she hissed quietly. "I told you about how scared I was at the thought of her wanting to try to have a relationship while she was in New York and I was here! I told you how sad and miserable I'd be without her; it scared me to even talk about it!"

"I _know_!" Santana threw her hands up. "I was right fucking there on that bed while you kept complaining!"

"And your _fucking _solution," she mocked, "was for me to cut my _fucking _hair!"

"Britts and I rode around in a taxi with you all over the place to look for a hair salon! We were out in those unfamiliar streets for hours for _you_!"

Brittany bit her lip nervously as her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. It was like a ping-pong match, an angry one. And although they both looked super-hot, their arguing was making her anxious.

Quinn pointed a finger at her. "You don't know how to be a good friend!"

Santana swatted the hand away angrily. "And you're a fucking ungrateful bitch!"

"Then why don't you just leave me alone, Santana?" she asked tiredly.

"Okay, can I call a timeout?" Brittany asked. "Umm, Santana stay where you are." Her arm reached out to lightly push against Santana's chest until she was back against the lockers. "And Quinn, could you go over there, please?" she asked, pointing a few feet across from them where the other row of lockers were.

Quinn sighed loudly and walked to the other side of the lockers. Her foot tapped impatiently against the tiled floors as she stared angrily off into the distance. She couldn't believe she was having this argument right now. Couldn't believe Santana did all of this just because she was upset that Quinn didn't want to be friends anymore. It was fucked up but made sense in a Santana way because her former friend occasionally had a flare for the dramatics. When she looked back over Santana was wiping her eye while Brittany rubbed her back. Quinn's lips pulled down. "You're crying?"

"No!"

Her arms folded even more tightly across her chest as she looked away once more.

"Quinn," Brittany started, "I was wondering if you wanted to come to my super awesome sleep over next weekend."

Quinn bit the inside of her cheek. "I don't know, B."

"Please?" When she looked back over at them, Santana was looking away and Brittany was looking at her with pleading eyes. "It'll be just like old times."

Right. Old times when they would watch a movie and gossip about how hideous Rachel's outfits were while Quinn tried her best to keep from vomiting because of how sick talking about Rachel so scathingly made her feel. Old times when they would sit down to watch a movie and halfway through Santana and Brittany would sneak up towards Brittany's room and have loud sex while Quinn sat downstairs on the couch alone.

"I'll think about it, B," she replied noncommittally.

Brittany smiled widely and the three of them stood there awkwardly before Quinn finally just walked away without a backwards glance.

* * *

><p>Rachel bit her thumb nail nervously as she eyed the clock on the wall above the piano. Quinn was twenty minutes late and she had already made a big show of telling everyone she was coming back. Finn sat a seat down from her, smirking smugly as he, too, eyed the clock.<p>

"Where is she?"

"She'll be here, Finn."

He hummed noncommittally, but didn't say anything else and Rachel fidgeted in annoyance. She really hoped Quinn was going to show up; she promised she would. And this was important to Rachel so there was no way Quinn was just going to blow her off, right? Not after they had just made amends a couple of days ago. Not when Quinn promised they would get it right together this year.

She worried the nail caught between her teeth even more. She was nervous about venturing into a relationship with Quinn again because she was already too far gone. She was even more in love with her now than she was the first time they had tried their hand at a relationship and her heart couldn't afford this ending badly again. It was possible to die from a broken heart; she had researched it and knew that would be her fate if Quinn walked away from her again. Her kisses, her touch, her intellect, her smell, her conversation, her beautiful brokenness, her _everything_ was _everything_ to Rachel and losing it all again after having it all was going to be the end of her.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, but we have to start the lesson," Mr. Schuester told her. He stood up from his seat and walked over to the white board. "Okay, I'm going to need you guys to break up into groups. Boys on one side, girls on the other."

"Come on, Rory," Finn said proudly, patting the newest member, a dark haired, curly haired, boy, on the shoulders.

Finn, Puck, Artie, Mike, Kurt, Blaine, and Rory all aligned on one side of the choir room. Rachel stood and walked to the opposite side with Tina and the new girl, Candace. She looked around to the two girls flanking her and groaned internally. They were _seriously _lacking in numbers.

"Mr. Schuester, may I interject?"

He turned towards the group. "Go ahead, Rachel."

"There are just too many male vocalists and not nearly enough female. How can we possibly expect to win this battle of the sexes competition when we're so severely outnumbered?"

"Girls suck," Puck called into his balled up fist and all of the boys began to laugh. "Hot though."

"Shut it, Puckerman!" she yelled.

"Guys, calm down," Mr. Schuester said. "Rachel, while I understand your concern, the battle of the sexes assignment is a tradition. One that I'd like to keep going."

She slumped back against her chair with a frown, as Mr. Schuester began his lesson. There was no way they could win without enough people.

Just then the door to the choir room caught everyone's attention and Rachel's heart leapt out of her chest when Quinn and Brittany walked through the door. Quinn had gotten halfway to the choir room when a breathless Brittany caught up with her, telling her she had totally forgotten that glee practice was today.

Quinn stood awkwardly at the front of the room as Brittany seamlessly slipped into place along with the other girls. "Uh…hey, guys," Quinn started.

"You're late."

Her gaze cut sharply to Finn's. "Mind your—"

"She's perfectly fine," Rachel chimed in, eyes rolling animatedly in her head. "Quinn?"

Hazel eyes slid over to her. Rachel smiled.

"We're splitting up: boys versus girls for a musical number. You can come up here with me."

Quinn nodded a little, walking up the risers to where Rachel was. She could feel Finn's indignant gaze on her the entire way but ignored it. She reached the top of the risers and stood beside Rachel.

"Wow." Mr. Schester chuckled quietly in awe. He did a mental headcount of everyone in the room, his smile widening. "And just like that, we have twelve. We're on the road to Sectionals."

Suddenly, the possibility of losing the battle of the sexes assignment paled in comparison to being able to qualify for Sectionals all thanks to her girlfriend. Rachel squealed loudly in excitement and wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn's neck. "Thank you so much, Quinn," she whispered sincerely.

* * *

><p>When practice was over, Quinn told her to go home, she'd call her later. Rachel eyed her suspiciously, but complied and skipped to the parking lot. Quinn took a deep breath and walked down the hallway.<p>

Her hand hovered over the door to Shelby's classroom with indecision until she finally grabbed it. She turned it quietly, her eyes falling shut briefly with nerves when the bolt mechanism gave way and the door opened. Her feet crossed the threshold and she walked in to find Santana, Mercedes and some random girl she didn't know gathered around the piano where Shelby was playing.

"How many times do I have to see you in one day?" Santana asked rudely.

But Quinn didn't respond. Her stomach was doing backflips that reminded her of morning sickness and if she didn't talk to Shelby now, she feared she was going to back out. "Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked.

Shelby instantly knew Quinn was talking to her. She rose from the piano and excused herself, following Quinn into the hallway and shutting the door behind her. "What can I help you with?"

"I want to see her," she stated plainly.

Shelby's eyes roamed critically over what Quinn was wearing. "Quinn, what did I tell you about your image?"

"I'm not going to wear this, obviously." She sighed quietly. "Look, I dyed my hair back—for the most part, I'm going to classes, my grades are better. I want to see my daughter."

She quirked an eyebrow. "You mean, you want to see my daughter—Beth."

Quinn didn't make any further statements to amend her prior one. "I did everything you asked me to," she said, steel creeping into her voice. "You promised me." A picture wasn't enough anymore. Talking on the phone with Puck and asking him to describe everything Beth did when he visited her wasn't enough anymore. She needed to see her. "Stop jerking me around."

Shelby folded her arms across her chest, staring Quinn down. "Friday evening at six. I'll write down my address and give it to you tomorrow."

"I'll get it from Puck. I—thank you."

"Don't make me regret this, Quinn."

Quinn took off down the hallway, out of the school, and towards her car before Shelby got the chance to take back the invitation. The rest of the day was a blur because nothing else mattered aside from finally getting the opportunity to see her daughter.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>Booty Camp was lame.<p>

Especially since she wasn't a bad dancer. She had rhythm and a sense of grace from gymnastics and cheering. And from countless times when she spent the night over Santana or Brittany's houses and they would turn to MTV for large blocks of time and make her join in as they all learned the choreography to different songs. She knew the routine to more Britney Spears songs than she cared to admit. But since she hadn't spent years taking dance lessons like Rachel and Brittany did and currently still do, she had to participate in Booty Camp.

It was annoying to have to waste hours of her time a day trying to 'become a better dancer'. That was one of the more annoying qualities of glee club. Every practice felt like an after school special with these people. Mr. Schuester was constantly spouting off things like 'you can do better' and 'we're all special', which—really? It was just stupid. That was one of the things she liked and missed about the Skanks; when she was around Mack, Ronnie, and Sheila, she didn't have to be special, she could just _be._ She didn't have to strive or try; they simply accepted her for who she was, imperfections and all. She needed that. After years of trying to be perfect and practically being burned at the stake for getting pregnant at sixteen, she needed people that could recognize that she wasn't perfect and just accept what she brought to the table instead of pushing her to fit into a mold or to be _better _because sometimes, she couldn't be better. She could only be Quinn.

"Oh, sorry!"

The new girl, Candace, a tall, gangly brunette that was entirely too big for most of her blunders had stepped on her foot when she was supposed to be at least a good two feet away from her but missed a step. Quinn really tried not to glare at her so harshly but guessed that it didn't work because the girl was cowering back over to her side almost immediately.

She puffed out an annoyed breath and stepped seamlessly back into the choreography. The glee club dynamic had changed tremendously since she used to be a member. For one, there were just too many new members that she didn't particularly care for. She was used to encountering Blaine, so his presence didn't bother her much. Rory and Candace on the other hand were going to take some getting used to. It was a little odd seeing how Artie and Brittany interacted now that they weren't together. She sometimes caught Artie pining after her from afar and had to bite back laughter at his misfortune.

She stood along the back row as Mike ran towards the front to begin teaching a new routine. Puck stepped in line beside her, eyeing her up and down. "You've changed."

She didn't like that word.

A tight lipped smile stretched her lips as she gave a curt nod.

He leaned over towards her. "I'm proud of you."

Her eyes hardened just a fraction as she turned towards him. Sharp hazel eyes roamed over his face as her smile slowly warped into a grimace. How he got to see Beth while she had to jump through hoops to see the life she gave birth to, she'd never know. "I have to see her. If that takes dying my hair blonde and getting good grades to pretend I think I'm special then that's what I'm willing to do."

Any sense of warmth that was generated by his words was immediately sucked out of the conversation. Puck looked at her with wide eyes, nodding dumbly because he really didn't know what to say.

"I'm going to see her Friday at six," she told him, a ghost of a smile pulling her lips up briefly. "And you're taking me there."

"Did Shelby say it was okay?"

Her blood burned with anger over Shelby having to _okay_ visitation rights and Puck blindly following along with her rules like a dog.

"Friday night," she reiterated forcefully. "At six. You're taking me to her house so that I can see my daughter."

She turned away from him then, having had enough of their conversation. She looked around to the group of people, vaguely wishing Brittany was there because she was bored and wasn't really close with anyone here right now.

When practice ended she was stretched thin and sore. This was the first time she had performed any form of strenuous activity since she was last in glee club and it felt weirdly satisfying to feel her calves burn and her quads pulse with each step she took. She was used to burns and aches in her muscles signifying accomplishment from the days when she was a Cheerio and this was no different. She felt like she was doing something with her life, even if it was something as small practicing a number for Sectionals. She looked around towards everyone lying across the floor sweaty and limp and felt a sense of comradery because they were feeling the exact same way she felt.

Quinn slipped quietly from the group to gather her belongings off to the side of the stage. She squatted down to place a towel and her bottle of water in her bag so she could leave.

"How long's it gonna be before you quit again?"

She straightened slowly and slung her bag over her shoulder, turning around to finally address Finn. "I'm sure you'd just love for me to quit again."

He shrugged. "All I'm saying is that we barely have enough people to qualify for Sectionals and we don't need someone whose foot is always halfway out the door. You know, like it always is with you. Relationships included."

Her eyes narrowed. "You need to get over whatever residual animosity you have for me, Finn, because you and I were almost two years ago now—not to mention the fact that I don't constantly throw how you cheated on me in your face."

"Could you?" he challenged.

"Get over your martyr complex," she spat. "It's unbecoming."

"Look, all I wanted to say is that we don't have enough people for us to have one person that doesn't really commit to things for a long time. So, if you're gonna quit do it now so we can find someone new. Don't do it right before Sectionals."

She stepped closer to him threateningly. "If I wanted your advice," she hissed, "I would have asked for it. I said I was committed to this and I meant it. So, how about you get off my back and start focusing on these routines more so you don't end up falling on your ass during Sectionals and cost us _another _loss."

"Quinn? Finn?"

Quinn shouldered past Finn and smiled at Mr. Schuester.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Everything is fine, Mr. Schue. Finn was just asking for pointers on his dancing because he wants to be perfect in time for Sectionals." She tossed a glance behind her at Finn.

"Uh, yeah…dancing."

Mr. Schuester smiled back. "Great, guys." He turned towards the whole group. "I'm really liking this sense of team work I'm getting from all of you. I hope you guys keep it up and if you do, I know we'll take Nationals this year."

They all grinned and Quinn pulled her bag tighter along her shoulder. She walked out of the auditorium without a backwards glance.

* * *

><p>Rachel crawled under her blanket snugly, resting her head back against her pillows as she cradled the phone between her neck and shoulder. "How was your day?" she asked.<p>

"Boring," Quinn told her.

Rachel bit her lip. "I heard you and Finn got into an argument today."

"He's such a snitch," Quinn grumbled. "What did he do, text you as soon as practice was over?"

"Essentially. Quinn, the two of you really need to start getting along. Or at least acting cordial towards one another."

"Tell him that."

"I did. But I want to tell you because it's already a little difficult for us to maintain cohesiveness when members keep coming and going; I don't need my girlfriend and Finn bickering back and forth to further disturb that."

A small, smug smile faintly tugged her lips at the mention of 'girlfriend'.

"Quinn, are you listening?"

"Barely," she admitted.

Rachel sighed in exasperation. "Quinn, you know how much this means to me," she said quietly.

Quinn touched a hand to her forehead in frustration. This really did mean a lot to Rachel and despite whatever problems she had with Finn, she didn't want to screw up Rachel's chances to win Nationals. "I—okay, fine."

She grinned. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah. How was your day?"

"Wonderful. Rehearsals are getting better and better. It's nice to know that even though I'm having difficulties with Shelby and with glee, there is at least one thing that's going right," she said as she sat up in bed and leaned across it towards her nightstand, rummaging through a drawer.

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked curiously.

The tip of her tongue peeked out in concentration because she was determined to retrieve what she needed without having to get out of bed. Times like this she wished she were taller. A longer wingspan would be great right now. "I'm trying," she grunted, "to get my bag of fingernail polish from inside my nightstand drawer."

Quinn snorted out a laugh. "Can't reach?"

"I just need a little more—ha!" She smiled triumphantly when the bag emerged, gripped precariously between her thumb and forefinger. "I have it."

"What color are you going to use?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Paint them black."

Rachel smiled. "Paint yours black."

On the other side of town, Quinn echoed that smile with a challenging one. "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't."

Rachel plucked a sparkly black bottle of nail polish from her bag and a small paper towel from inside to spread before her. She opened the bottle, stretched her hand out across the paper towel and began painting her nails. "Talk," she instructed.

"About?"

"Whatever you want," she replied airily, blowing her pinky nail dry.

Quinn scooted back from her desk and stood up from the hard backed, wooden chair she had been sitting on. She had been doing homework up until Rachel called and felt she deserved a little break. She balanced the phone between her ear and shoulder, crawling on her bed until she reached the top. The picture above her headboard caught her attention and she grabbed it, getting lost in Beth's features. It was startling how much of herself she saw in her daughter.

"Quinn?"

She lied back against her pillow, the picture clutched tightly, gently in her hand. "Rachel, I get to see her," she whispered.

Rachel didn't even have to ask who 'her' was. The intimacy in Quinn's voice, the warmth that coated that sentence. It could only be one person. "Quinn, I'm so," she searched for words that escaped her, "happy and _proud _of you." And she was. She had wondered for months how Quinn was dealing with the whole Shelby and Beth situation but she never broached the subject because in a way that really wasn't her business and it surprised her now that Quinn was even telling her this. "When do you get to see her?" she asked eagerly, willing to soak up any information Quinn was willing to give.

"Tomorrow," she breathed, tracing Beth's features on the photo she had. "Puck is taking me. She's so beautiful, Rachel. Perfect."

Warmth spread throughout her as she listened to Quinn talk about her daughter. It was odd that she suddenly had an urge to see Beth for herself, to see Quinn interacting with her. But that wasn't her place. Quinn was going with Puck, the baby's father because _Quinn_ and _Puck _had had a baby together. It took her back to tenth grade when she had initially found out Quinn was pregnant and didn't really know how to feel. All she knew was that she had felt sick to her stomach after learning the information. She told herself the entire day she was upset because of the implication that Finn was the father, not because of the implication that Quinn had had sex with someone. Even went as far as slapping Finn in the face because at the time she couldn't take her anger out on the person she was really upset with.

She chuckled quietly to herself. The things she had initially put herself through because being in love with Quinn Fabray seemed like the world would open up and swallow her whole.

"Rachel, you've gone quiet."

And sometimes it felt like it did. Because even simple things like hearing Quinn say her name did her in.

"Rachel?"

"I'm here, Quinn. Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Bad thoughts?"

She breathed a shaky laugh. "Not necessarily. Just scary."

"What could Rachel Berry be afraid of?" she teased. "Someone stealing your solos in glee club?"

Rachel took a deep breath, eyes clenched shut and, "I'm afraid I love you too much."

Quinn sighed heavily. "Rachel…"

"I know you don't like talking about things like this, but—" Rachel licked her lips nervously. "Quinn, I'm scared."

"You're scared I'm going to leave you," she corrected.

Rachel clutched the phone tighter against her ear and sank back under the covers, taking her bottom lip between her teeth nervously. "Yes," she whispered.

"You don't trust me."

"I do—"

"But not fully."

"Quinn," she sighed. "I'm just scared. Haven't you just been afraid of something—whether it's a rational fear or not?"

"Of course I have," she said quietly, carefully. "I've told you."

"Yes, well…" A sad smile pulled on her lips though she knew Quinn couldn't see it. "I think we both need to learn to trust each other a little more."

"You need to believe me when I say I won't leave you again."

"And you need to believe in us and stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not your mother, your father, or anyone else, Quinn; I'm not going to hurt you or leave you or do whatever else you're so afraid is going to happen."

Quinn's gaze flicked downwards, almost as if she were ashamed. "Okay," she whispered.

"Really?"

Her voice sounded so small and un-Rachel Berry like and suddenly Quinn wished they were in the same bed. "Yeah, okay."

"We'll try," Rachel concluded with finality.

"Okay."

"Good. Now," she grinned a little, "come over Saturday and tell me all about Beth."

"You're sure you don't have a dance class or anything?"

"Just come over afterwards. Around six. I want to see you and it's date night for my dads, so we'll be alone. I wanted to see you tonight but you had homework," she grumbled.

That was one of the things Quinn had found fascinating about Rachel right from the beginning. She was unapologetically clingy. And it was oddly refreshing instead of smothering like she thought it would be. It was even more odd and scary and kind of vomit inducing when she felt herself becoming clingy as well. She wasn't Rachel's level of clingy and she often laughed to herself because _no one_ was on Rachel's level when it came to being clingy but something about it felt like home and she had never known what home was up until that point.

"And take pictures," Rachel added.

Quinn chuckled a little before, "You sound so much like my mother," was breathed past her lips.

"How is Judy?" she asked curiously, not at all taking offense though she probably should have. She wondered how the former Mrs. Fabray was holding up because she hadn't heard Quinn talk about her mother aside from occasional complaining since school began.

She heard Quinn sigh quietly and snuggled further under the covers, preparing herself for this story.

"I don't even know what she's doing anymore," Quinn answered. "It seems like she's finally taking an interest after years of not bothering, which—whatever."

"If she's trying, that's a good thing, right?"

"It's too late."

"I think we're proof that it's never too late to make amends, Quinn," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn opened her mouth to say _but we're different_ but decided against it because—were they really?

"Anyway," she continued. "She's been making me go to class and even called my _father_—" she snorted indelicately at the emphasis she put on his name, "—to come back into my life and 'help me.'"

"And you don't like that," Rachel guessed.

"I hate it," she replied flatly.

Rachel's lips twisted in thought of what to say to help the situation but she couldn't come up with anything. Truth be told, she didn't care for Russell either. The more horror stories she heard from Quinn about him, the more animosity had built up for a man that she had never even met. But if he was partly responsible for Quinn's warped upbringing, kicking her out of her house when she was pregnant, creating demons that made it hard for Quinn to deal with her own sexuality—hard to reconcile her religion with feelings that she couldn't even control, then Rachel wanted nothing to do with him.

But still, she was an optimistic person. "Maybe this will turn out to be a positive thing."

"Yeah, and maybe I'll have sex with a man and get pregnant again."

Rachel frowned. "Don't joke about things like that."

Quinn laughed a little hollowly. "Are you pouting?"

Well _now_ she was. "No."

"I can kiss it better."

And just like that, her stomach knotted in anticipation. "Yeah?"

"If you want."

"When?"

Quinn sank deeper into her mattress as Rachel's voice grew heavier. "Well, not tonight, I suppose. And not tomorrow. Saturday?"

Rachel licked her lips. How she wished she could feel those lips against her own right now. "Saturday," she conceded. Her alarm clock began ringing and her eyes slid over to her nightstand. She heard Quinn laughing on the line as she reached towards her alarm clock.

"Is that your 'it's time to go to bed' alarm?" she asked smartly.

Rachel huffed quietly as she turned it off. "Perhaps."

Quinn sighed. "I suppose I should let you go then."

"I guess so," Rachel said dejectedly.

"Have a good night, Rachel."

"Hey, Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Five more minutes?"

"Five more minutes."

* * *

><p>Quinn and Puck stood anxiously on the doorstep to Shelby's house. Quinn rubbed her hands together nervously as she blew hot steam into the cold air. She looked over to Puck to find him biting his bottom lip, staring at the doorbell.<p>

"Why are you so nervous?" she asked. "You've seen her before."

"Yeah, well now she's seeing you. And what if that maternal bonding shit kicks in and she starts liking you more than me?"

She almost laughed at the absurdity until she realized he was serious. Quinn sighed quietly. "Look, Puck, I'm sure she's going to love you no matter what, okay?" Her hand reached out hesitantly until she was touching his arm, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. It felt weird to even touch him aside from slapping him across the head when he was being offensive or elbowing him in the gut. His gaze flicked from her hand on his arm to her eyes. He flexed his muscles, smirking as Quinn rolled her eyes. "Can we get inside here, please? I'm freezing."

"Nips getting hard, baby mama?"

She elbowed him in the gut and used his moment of incapacitation to lean over and ring the doorbell. Her heart raced the moment the ring resounded because there was no going back now. The only thing that stood between her and her daughter was a wooden door and pretty soon that barrier was going to be removed. She was going to see her, hold her, love all over her for the first time since the moment she gave birth to her. "Puck, this is it," she whispered.

"Get ready," he told her. "Once you see her, you'll never be able to, like, stop seeing her."

She inhaled deeply as his words sank in. Was she ready for this?

The answer to that didn't matter because the door was opening and Shelby was standing in front of her before she knew it. "Good evening, Puck. Quinn."

"Hey, Ms. C."

"Hi…Shelby."

Shelby eyed Quinn while they stood there. Her hair was combed neatly to dance just shy of her shoulders, with pink splashed along the tips. She had on a blue dress with a tan belt around the middle with equally blue and tan wedged heels on. Her nose ring was gone; she didn't have any garish blush along her cheeks or red lipstick on her lips. She almost looked reminiscent of the girl Shelby had seen by the nursery nearly two years ago.

"You clean up well, Quinn," Shelby said quietly.

The only response she received was a barely there eyebrow lift. She pulled the strap of her purse further along her shoulder and offered a tightlipped smile. "Well, I'll get going. I haven't had a girls' night out with my friends in a while and I feel like I'm due for that. Puck, you have my cell number but just in case, I wrote and tacked it onto the refrigerator. Beth is allergic to peanut butter, so only jelly sandwiches are fair game. And if she gets fussy there's a bottle in the fridge."

"Shouldn't she be on sippy cups by now?" Quinn asked curiously.

"I keep trying and she keeps resisting." She shrugged a little. "What can I do, you know?"

Quinn's gaze flicked from Puck, who offered the same shrug, and back to Shelby.

"Do you guys have any questions before I leave you to it?"

She nodded. "What time are you going to be back?"

Shelby looked down towards her watch. "It's about six now, so I'd say about nine."

"Three hours. Awesome." She smiled.

"Alright, be careful and call me if you need anything."

Shelby stepped out of the way to walk down the stairs of the porch and Quinn immediately dipped inside the house. She looked around, vaguely noting that she was in the living room and that it was fairly large. "Where's her room, Puck?" she asked when she heard the door close. She shrugged off her jacket.

"Up the stairs to the right."

And suddenly she was pacing up the stairs a little quicker than she otherwise would have. She turned right sharply and came upon a door that was halfway open. There were two other doors but she _knew _this was the one. Her hand flattened against the door and slowly pushed it open. Towards the corner of the room was a pink crib. Quinn could barely breathe. She tried to take deep steadying breaths as she felt Puck against her back. She turned to look back at him.

For Puck it felt like the day they had seen Shelby at McKinley. When they stood at the threshold and Quinn looked towards him with that same helpless expression. And just like the day they had seen Shelby for the first time in over a year, Quinn bravely walked inside before he had a chance to say a word.

She felt like she was going in slow motion, or as if the closer she walked the more the room elongated because it felt like forever before she reached that crib. Her fingers hovered over the railing before she gripped it tightly and peered down.

Beth was beautiful.

She stole Quinn's thought process, her breath, her heart. She took it all and she didn't even have to do anything but lie there, sleeping. She was on her back, her rounded belly protruding over a pair of brown corduroy pants. Quinn giggled quietly at that and Beth stirred. Her brow furrowed and a small arm darted across her face to cover her eyes. Quinn's own eyes widened comically. That was exactly how Rachel always told her she slept. Beth's hair was shaggy, curly and blonde. And she was just so _tiny_. It amazed Quinn.

"She's so beautiful," she breathed quietly when she felt Puck at her side again.

"Yeah, she is," he agreed. "Gets it from me, obviously."

"You wish."

Her gaze washed over the soft features of her daughter reverently. Her puffy cheeks, her button nose.

"She's got your ears," Puck pointed out.

"Shut up." She absentminded tugged at her own ears and leaned down to touch Beth's. Her index finger softly traced down the side of her cheek and Quinn's poor heart leapt straight from her chest when Beth's eyes finally opened. Her eyes were dark, sharp and focused. They flicked to Puck briefly then zeroed in on Quinn and Puck groaned.

"What?" Quinn asked, barely paying him any attention. She was locked in a staring contest with her daughter, it seemed.

"She already likes you better," he complained.

Quinn chuckled because she could swear she saw Beth roll her eyes a little.

"Pick her up."

She bit her lip in uncertainty. "Should I?"

Puck snorted. "You've been giving Shelby a hard time for months now because you haven't been able to see Beth. Yeah, I think you should pick her up."

She nodded, telling herself she could do this. Her hands trembled as they reached out towards her daughter. Beth's brow furrowed in slight hesitation but she didn't make a peep as Quinn's arms wrapped around her, cradled her and lifted her up. Immediately, Quinn brought Beth to her chest just as she had done countless times in her dreams. She inhaled a shuddery breath as she watched Beth's gaze flick across her face as if acquainting herself with Quinn. They stared at each other quietly. Her throat bobbed tightly when the corners of Beth's mouth pulled into a small smile.

"Hi, baby," Quinn whispered with an even wider smile. "I'm Quinn. I'm your mother."

"Don't confuse her," Puck said quietly. "As far as she knows, she already has a mom."

"She can have two," Quinn insisted. She instantly thought of countless conversations she had had with Rachel about her fathers and how Rachel said that it wasn't confusing to have two fathers in the beginning because she had never known that two fathers wasn't the norm until she was about four or five. Beth could be the same. Beth could think of her as a mother as well. Though Quinn and Shelby wouldn't be mothers in the same sense that Leroy and Hiram were fathers because—gross. Quinn didn't fancy Shelby _that _way or much at all for that matter.

She continued to stare down at Beth in awe, rocking her back and forth gently. She felt Puck staring at her and looked over to the smile on his face. She smiled back, knowing what he was thinking. Neither one of them had ever thought this day would come and it was oddly domestic, this setting. It was quiet and warm and it only felt that way because their daughter was there to complete it.

"Can we play with her now?" he asked. "She's so awesome; she likes racecars."

"Race—what?" She blinked at him.

Puck reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out two _Hotwheels_ racecars. Quinn chuckled quietly. "She's supposed to play with dolls, Puck, not cars."

"Yeah, well, dolls are lame. Even she thinks so."

Quinn shook her head good naturedly and walked out of the bedroom, Puck trailing behind. They walked down the stairs and towards the living room. "I want to watch a movie," she announced.

Puck's jaw dropped in protest. "But, _Hotwheels_…"

"I want to hold her. And I can't hold her if the two of you are crawling all over the floor with toy cars."

"Lame."

"You can play toy cars—"

"_Hotwheels_."

"_Hotwheels_ with her when the movie ends and we've had a chance to feed her."

Puck dragged his feet over to the DVD player with obvious protest but complied. "What movie?"

Quinn sat down on the couch and placed Beth in her lap. She leaned down towards Beth and dotted kisses along her cheek until she squealed and laughed. The smile that Quinn wore threatened to split her face in half. "How about _The Lion King_?"

"Yes!" Beth squealed.

Both Quinn and Puck froze. Puck slowly turned from the DVD player as Quinn looked down at her daughter. Theoretically she was aware that seventeen month olds could speak—she had researched how Beth should have been progressing month by month since she had given her up. Torturing herself by watching videos of how typical, six, twelve, and now seventeen month old infants acted. But knowing Beth could formulate a few simple words and hearing that clear, high pitched voice say a word correctly was so very different and amazing.

"Dude, that was so awesome."

She wrapped her arms tightly around Beth and placed a kiss against her temple. "She's amazing."

"She's smart."

"Just like me."

"No arguments there."

Puck put in the movie and walked back over towards the couch. He sat beside Quinn, stretching his arm around the back of the couch, but his eyes either focused on Beth or on the TV. It was odd but so much more preferred to Quinn than the times when Puck would stretch his arm around the back of the couch to try to cup her breast.

The movie progressed and throughout Quinn wasn't watching Mufasa, Simba, and Nala. She was watching Beth and her reactions to various scenes. Quinn sat there, wide eyed and drank in every facial expression her daughter made. It was made all the better when a tiny fist closed around her index finger, almost absentmindedly. As if for Beth, this was all natural. Quinn buried her face into blonde curls with a small smile. Beth smelled good, like any baby was supposed to. She smelled so innocent, she looked innocent, she acted innocent and Quinn was going to do anything it took to protect that innocence for as long as she could.

Quinn's gaze flicked to the screen for the first time in about fifteen minutes when Beth whimpered quietly. Mufasa was falling to his death in slow motion and it amazed Quinn that her daughter could even pick up those concepts. She pulled Beth closer to her, shushing her quietly and placing pacifying kisses to her cheek.

Puck looked over at the display with a fond smile. He leaned over and pressed a kiss against Beth's temple. And what he did next surprised him and Quinn both.

He leaned up and pressed his lips against Quinn's.

And her eyes widened.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**M

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N**: Gotta go to work, so I don't have the chance to read over this and catch any spelling errors or embarrassing mistakes so if you see any, just pretend they aren't there.

* * *

><p>She felt his tongue dart out to trace along her lips and pulled back abruptly. Quinn shut her eyes tightly, trying to gather control because she still felt Beth's slight weight in her lap alerting her to the fact that she could only react so much. She could feel Puck's presence beside her, tense and nervous but she blocked him out. There were too many thoughts flying around in her head right now and they all included Rachel and whether or not she would be angry, whether or not Rachel would decide she had finally had enough and break up with her for good. She took her bottom lip between her teeth pensively.<p>

"Puck?" she finally said.

"Yeah?"

She looked towards him out of the corner of her eyes. "I would knee you in…you know where," she said, glancing down at Beth and remembering to watch her mouth. "The only reason I haven't yet is because Beth is in my arms and I know how confusing this all must be for you." She took a deep breath. "I get it. You see your daughter and the woman you had…_you __know _with in the same room interacting and…it all looks really domestic and kind of nice and it gives you this warm and fuzzy feeling."

He smiled a little as if Quinn had hit the nail on the head. The smile was knocked off his face the second Quinn turned sharply to look at him. She didn't look amused in the slightest. In fact, she looked a little pissed. "But I have to ask—are you stupid?"

His jaw dropped and Quinn looked to Beth to remember to control her ire before she looked at Puck again. "Don't ever kiss me again."

He nodded dumbly. "Okay."

Quinn didn't say anything after that and she engrossed herself with Beth once more. He swallowed down his nerves before addressing her again. "Are you gonna tell Rachel or—"

"Yes," she said firmly.

It kind of threw him for a loop because Quinn didn't typically tell the truth most of the time so what made this situation so special? "You're serious?"

She sighed. "What she does with this information is up to her, but I at least owe her the truth."

And suddenly he kind of understood that what Rachel and Quinn shared wasn't just fooling around. "So, you guys are serious? Like, one of those grownup relationships or something?"

She nodded curtly. "And you're screwing it up."

He rubbed a hand through his mohawk. "Wow, okay—sorry, Q. I kinda just thought you and Berry were fucking around—"

"Watch your mouth around Beth!" she hissed.

Puck rocked back with a sheepish smile. "Which would have been hot, by the way—you and Rachel doing…_that_."

She laughed a little despite the circumstance. "Sometimes I hate you."

It was meant to be a joke because in this moment she didn't legitimately hate him, but Puck recognized the truth behind her words because there was a time when she had.

"I meant what I said, Puck. Don't kiss me again."

"Okay."

The end credits to _The __Lion __King _rolled and Quinn reluctantly handed Beth over to him to stop the movie and to get much needed space. Beth's eyes followed her all the way over to the TV. She squirmed animatedly in Puck's arms. "Geez, Beth, give me a break," he complained.

She began making little whimpering noises and Quinn quickly turned around to find Puck releasing Beth from his hold and her slowly walking over to Quinn with pleading eyes. It took her breath away to see her daughter walking, arms outstretched a little for balance. She couldn't help but smile. "Stop giving her a hard time, Puck." She met Beth halfway and scooped her up with ease.

"You stole her from me," he complained.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied flippantly, cooing at Beth and rubbing their noses together. Beth's arms wrapped tightly around her neck and Quinn held her just as tightly, looking towards Puck. Anger boiled inside her again and she shook her head, walking towards the kitchen. If Puck ruined what she had with Rachel, she really _was _going to kick him in the balls. She was feeling a little scared and didn't want to tell Rachel at all, but if it was one thing she had learned from simultaneously one of the biggest mistakes and miracles in her life, it was that the truth always had a way of getting out.

…Especially if the lie being told involved Puck.

She sat Beth in her high chair and walked over towards the cabinets adjacent to the stove. She heard Puck's heavy footsteps thud against the floor as he stepped into the kitchen. "I thought you were over it."

"Yeah, well obviously I'm not," she said tightly.

He nodded and picked Beth up from her high chair to hold her. "Look, I said I was sorry."

She spun around to face him. "Well, tell that to Rachel. You're not the one that has to see the look on her face when I tell her that you kissed me."

"Just tell her it's my fault."

"It _is _your fault."

"I know. Sorry."

She exhaled a harsh breath and turned around to dig through the cabinets again. Her movements were tense and jerky and Puck turned Beth towards him, making goofy faces so she didn't have to see Quinn so unhinged. She looked through the cabinets, her nose turning up when she saw a can of _Chef __Boyardee. _She scoffed quietly as she picked the can up, turning to face Puck.

He looked up at her with a smile. "Yeah, that's awesome."

"This is hardly food!"

"She likes it."

"She's not eating this while I'm here." Quinn threw the can in the trash to Puck's muted protest and rummaged further along the cabinets until she found a box of pasta noodles. Next, she looked through the refrigerator for the sauce, then had to go _back _to the cabinet to find an unopened can. She shook her head to herself. "Does she _ever _cook?"

"I've seen her cook like, once," Puck supplied. "It was good."

She ignored him and got a pot from the bottom row of cabinets and hoisted it up onto the stove.

"Could you…get a bigger one?" he asked. "I kinda want some."

Quinn rolled her eyes and retrieved a bigger pot to put on the stove. She poured water into the pot and turned the stove on. She watched Puck from her place at the stove as he gently sat Beth down on the ground and reached into this pocket for the toy ca—_Hotwheels._

Beth wobbled cutely on shaky legs but stood proud and surely, giggling as Puck's large frame settled down on the floor beside her.

Right then and there Quinn couldn't help but wish that Rachel was there with her. Helping her cook or playing with Beth while she cooked. Still, it was kind of cute watching Beth squeal and clap happily while Puck drove a car across the floor. It just would have been…better if Rachel was with her.

She instantly thought of how angry Rachel was going to be when she found out about Puck and turned back to the stove with a frown to finish preparing the meal for her daughter.

When it was finished, she grabbed a brightly colored plastic bowl and scooped a portion on it for Beth. "Hey, Puck, put her in her high chair for me. And get her a bib, please."

Puck scooped Beth up into his arms, dotting kisses across her stomach before sitting her in her high chair. He ran upstairs to retrieve a bib while Quinn gently blew across the top of Beth's food to cool it. She looked into the refrigerator at the bottle that lied inside and frowned, closing the fridge and getting a cup instead. She grabbed a small plastic cup and poured juice inside, placing the cup and bowl of pasta on the table top of Beth's high chair as Puck came back down with a bib. He tied it behind her and pulled up a chair for Quinn to sit on.

"Watch out for her," he warned. "She likes to throw her food."

Quinn smiled at Beth as she took a seat in front of her. "You wouldn't throw food on me, would you?" she asked sweetly.

Beth smiled back. "Nope!"

Puck scoffed with a smile of his own. "Lies."

Quinn hummed quietly, sticking her fork into the pasta and spinning it until a portion was wound around the fork neatly. She lifted it to her own mouth and blew on it to cool it before presenting it to Beth. She ate it eagerly and Quinn laughed quietly as red sauce smeared across her daughter's face. "Mmm."

"Is it good?" she asked, laughing even harder.

Beth nodded as Quinn grabbed the edge of the bib to wipe her mouth. She looked down at the cup in suspicion.

"That's a cup," Quinn supplied. "You use it like this." She grabbed the cup and slowly brought it to her lips, tilted her head back and drank from it. "See?" She reached across to place the lip of the cup between Beth's lips. Beth's eyes crossed as she looked down at the cup, then back up at Quinn's encouraging smile. Quinn lifted the cup just a little and Beth opened her mouth to drink from it, her small hands grabbing the cup away from Quinn.

Puck whistled quietly in appreciation from the side. "You trying to win Best Mother Award, or something?"

She looked over to Puck who rested against the kitchen table, arms folded and looking at them with a small smile. "Think I can teach her my name?"

"Ten bucks says you can't."

"Twenty bucks says I _am _the best mother in the world if I can."

"Deal."

She smiled smugly, turning to Beth and feeding her another fork full. "Beth, can you say Quinn?"

Beth looked at her strangely, brow furrowing. "Kin?"

Puck laughed loudly. "That's exactly right, baby. Hey, Q, get ready to pay up."

Quinn glared over at him and turned to Beth with a sweet smile. "No, sweetie, Quinn."

Beth nodded. "Kin."

Her smile continued to grow in amusement. Maybe the _qu _sound was hard to pronounce. Her lips twisted in thought. "Kwa," she tried.

"Kwa," Beth echoed.

"Very good! Now try _kwa-in_."

Her brow furrowed cutely again and Puck walked a little closer, his curiosity getting the best of him. "Kwa-in."

"Good, baby. Now say _Quinn_."

"Quinn?" she said, almost as if she were asking.

Quinn's eyes widened as she leaned over the high chair to embrace Beth lovingly. "That's exactly right!"

"Quinn," she said eagerly.

She nodded, kissing Beth's cheek. "Yeah, I'm Quinn," she said softly. "And I'm never letting you go again," she promised.

* * *

><p>Quinn walked inside of the house proudly, closing the door behind her and walking through the hallway.<p>

"Quinn, honey, is that you?"

Even Judy couldn't break her spirit today. "Yep."

She heard footsteps hit the floor excitedly and before she knew it, Judy was rounding the corner, walking to her with a smile on her face. "You've seen her, then?"

She smiled, walking further into the house. "I've seen her."

"Come into the living room," she insisted, grabbing Quinn's arm, ignoring the way she flinched and walked her into the living room. They both sat along the couch, Judy facing her fully. "Where are the pictures?"

Quinn reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out her phone. It felt odd to not only have Judy excited about something, but to also relish in her excitement because it was a shared feeling. She flicked her thumb across the screen of her phone until pictures of Beth popped up.

Judy gasped quietly as Quinn went from one picture to the next. "Quinn, she's exceptional. Just lovely."

"She's something," Quinn agreed with a small laugh. It had felt amazing to see Beth, and hold her in her arms. She was soft and squishy and giggled so lightheartedly. It reminded Quinn of herself. She hadn't always been the person she was now. She used to be good and carefree. She used to smile and laugh and _enjoy _life and she saw all of that in her daughter. It stirred up a side of her that always wanted to protect that side of her daughter for as long as she could. Protect that side of her in a way her own mother never did.

"Are you going to see her again?"

"Yes," she replied with certainty.

Judy uncrossed and recrossed her legs nervously. "Perhaps you could bring her here sometime."

All Quinn gave was a noncommittal "Maybe", before rising from the couch. "I think I'm going to turn in early. It's been a long day."

She walked away and Judy turned to face her. "Quinn?"

She turned back around to face Judy.

"I'm—it's nice that you got to see her."

Quinn nodded curtly. "Good night, mom."

She ran upstairs, took a quick shower and collapsed onto her bed around eleven. Thankfully she had missed her opportunity to talk to Rachel because she knew she would have acted awkward throughout the entire exchange. Instead, when she looked at her phone, she had a text message from her.

_**I sincerely hope you had a wonderful time with Beth and Noah today, Quinn; I know how much you've been looking forward to finally seeing her. I look forward to hearing all about it tomorrow. And for you to fulfill a certain promise that you made two days ago… :) Have a good night. I love you.**_

Quinn wiped at her eyes harshly as she hit 'compose reply' and typed back _I __love __you, __too_, knowing Rachel wouldn't get it until morning. She curled up onto her side to sleep, though sleep never came.

* * *

><p>Quinn arrived at Rachel's doorstep a little earlier than need be. She fidgeted where she stood, wanting to just get this over with because if she didn't tell Rachel now, she would never tell her. She didn't even <em>want <em>to tell her but again, lies involving Puck…

She knocked firmly on the door three times and stood back, waiting. She could practically hear feet rapidly hitting the floor before Rachel was unlocking the door and opening it. It oddly reminded her of how Judy acted yesterday. Rachel flung herself into Quinn's arms. "Hi, Quinn."

Already knowing what was going to happen, Quinn braced herself for impact and caught all one hundred and fifteen pounds of Rachel. She pressed a kiss against her head, swallowing down the lump of guilt in her throat until they could at least make it inside the house. Rachel pulled back and tugged on Quinn's hand, pulling her inside. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she mumbled. She shrugged out of her jacket and sat it on the coat rack. "How are you?"

Rachel grinned. "Better now that you're here." She interlaced their fingers and they walked through the house. "Are you hungry?" Rachel asked as they passed the kitchen. "I can make something for you really quickly."

"I'm not hungry," she promised.

From there, they took to the stairs to Rachel's room. Rachel pulled on Quinn's rigid arm until she was sitting beside her. "Quinn, are you alright?" She reached out, her palm brushing across Quinn's forehead, then her neck. Quinn inhaled deeply at the soft touch, wondering if this was going to be the last time she felt it.

"I—not really."

Rachel frowned. "What's wrong? Are you terribly ill? Is it serious? Will I need to be sitting by your bedside; if so tell me now so I can take the necessary steps to alert the school of my absences so that I don't end up repeating my senior year because I spent the majority of my time by your bedside."

Quinn almost smiled, not once interrupting Rachel's ranting. "I love you."

Rachel's heart dropped at the declaration because she felt one of those _buts _that she always feared was coming. "I-I love you, too."

Quinn stood up from the bed and took a few steps back to put some space between the two of them. "Listen, I have to tell you something. And the only reason I'm telling you this is because you like honesty and because lying hasn't worked out for me in the past."

Rachel's heart palpitated. "You're breaking up with me?"

"What?" she gritted out.

"Nothing." Her gaze dipped nervously to her fidgeting hands.

Quinn sighed heavily. She took a deep breath, remembering that Rachel had said that trust was something they were going to work on—if Rachel even wanted anything to do with her after what she was going to tell her. "Rachel, I'm not breaking up with you."

Rachel nodded, still not quite meeting her gaze.

"Rachel, I—what I wanted to tell you was yesterday, while I was visiting Beth…Puck kissed me."

Rachel looked up sharply. Quinn watched shock, understanding, hurt and anger contort Rachel's mouth and eyebrows and flicker through her eyes. "He _what_?" she asked, hopping up from the bed.

"I said—"

"I heard what you said," she replied tersely. Quinn took a deep, calming breath. Rachel stared down at her hands in anger. "How could Noah do this to me?"

Quinn took a step closer. "Rachel, don't be mad at him."

"Why shouldn't I be?" Her eyes narrowed. "Unless you were the one leading him on."

Her chest caved in. "How could you even think that?"

"I don't know what to think because you won't tell me anything!" she exclaimed.

Quinn's jaw locked tightly as she watched Rachel unravel in front of her. "We were both on the couch, watching a movie and I was holding Beth." Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched Rachel pace. What could she have been thinking? It always unnerved Quinn when she couldn't tell what Rachel was feeling or thinking. "Then he-he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, then…he kissed me."

Rachel paused in her pacing when Quinn stopped talking. "Did you enjoy it?" she asked quietly.

The quiver of fear in her voice could easily be detected. Quinn walked closer until they were face to face. "Rachel, no, I didn't enjoy it. Honestly."

She licked her lips nervously, folding her arms across herself. "Are you certain?"

Quinn brought both of her hands up to cup Rachel's cheeks, lifting her face to make eye contact. She risked taking a step closer until they were practically touching. She came with a lot of baggage and Rachel had welcomed it all from the beginning, the least she felt she could do was tend to Rachel's baggage when it presented itself—her insecurity. "Rachel, trust me when I say Puck's not that great of a kisser."

Rachel made a noncommittal sound and Quinn raised an eyebrow as if to ask, _something __you __want __to __share?_

Rachel bit her lip in uncertainty but opened her mouth anyway. "Quinn, I've kissed Noah Puckerman as well and he is—while certainly not of your caliber—a good kisser in his own right."

"I didn't enjoy it," Quinn insisted.

"But he's a better kisser than I am." Her lips pulled down into a frown and hazel eyes tracked the movement.

"Rachel—" her tongue darted across her own lip as her eyes took in the fullness of Rachel's and this was not the right time to be noticing these things. "You're a better kisser." Though she couldn't help but notice how much fuller Rachel's lips were than Puck's when they were standing there debating who the better kisser was.

Rachel snorted out a dejected laugh. "Give me a break, Quinn." She had only kissed about four people in her life—not nearly as many as Puck.

"I'm serious," Quinn said firmly. "You pay attention to what I like. And you don't use too much spit or teeth or tongue." She smiled a little when she saw Rachel's lips quirk up at the absurdity of their argument. "Bottom line is that your kisses are way better than Puck's. And I like kissing _you_, not him."

"Really?" she asked in that same small voice from two days ago that had Quinn wishing they were in the same bed.

"I do," she whispered.

A small blush crept along Rachel's cheeks before she whispered, "Show me," in a voice that was completely indescribable because she needed this. She needed to know that although Puck and Quinn shared a baby between the two of them that that was all they shared. She needed to know that in this moment, Quinn wasn't going to leave her.

Quinn didn't hesitate. Her thumb brushed along Rachel's cheek as she leaned in and connected their lips. That first touch was all Rachel needed to kick start into motion. She was determined to prove that although she may not be able to kiss like Noah Puckerman, she was still _something._

"Stop thinking about Puck," Quinn whispered against unresponsive lips. She nipped harshly on a lower lip and Rachel yelped at the sting. Her tongue slid over the reddening bite but Quinn's mouth was on hers again.

"Two can play that game," Rachel mumbled back. Her hands unwound from being folded across her chest and buried in blonde hair to pulled Quinn closer forcefully. Their lips pressed tightly together. Rachel rose higher on the tips of her toes and tilted her head, fusing their lips together. She swallowed the moan that vibrated against her mouth and sunk her teeth softly into a plump lower lip. Quinn wound an arm around Rachel's waist to steady herself against the assault. Her other hand cupped Rachel's cheek warmly. She opened her mouth to drag her tongue along the seam of Rachel's lips and moaned in surprise when, instead of accepting her tongue, Rachel's own slid between her lips.

Her tongue slid hotly in and out and if she could ever fuck Quinn Fabray's mouth, this would be the way. Her fingers gripped blonde hair tightly and tugged until Quinn's head tipped back with a throaty moan. Rachel's lips danced along her jaw and towards her neck. She pressed deep, open mouth kisses to the tender flesh to remind herself that this was hers. There was no need to panic. Noah Puckerman had had his chance and only succeeded in creating a lot of bad memories for Quinn.

But he also created one good one that surpassed everything.

One that Rachel couldn't create.

Her eyes clenched shut as she tried to block out that thought. Her hands released blonde hair and skated down Quinn's sides to reach under her top. Warm hands splayed out over the rippling abdominal muscles and she felt Quinn quiver and moan as her hands ran higher. There wasn't an ounce of hesitancy when she touched her breasts because she had done it so many times in the past. But it still left her in awe. They were so firm and soft, supple and yielded to her touch.

Quinn's breathing became erratic when she felt Rachel tug expertly at her stiff nipples through her bra. This was so not how she had pictured this conversation going. But she should have known better than to try to predict Rachel Berry.

Rachel kissed a trail from the base of Quinn's neck to her ear, panting hotly against the rapidly flushing lobe. "Touch me back," she whimpered.

She didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed Rachel's face and kissed her hard before stealing her hands back to dart under Rachel's sweater. Rachel's hands fell limply to her sides when Quinn's hands cupped her breasts. She moaned quietly as nimble fingers slid under her bra. Her nipples pebbled in anticipation. A thumb stroked softly against her nipple and she felt her knees buckle.

She licked her lips, eyes opening to find Quinn staring at her intently. Reluctantly, Rachel pulled away. She relished in the confusion and irritation on Quinn's face as she backed away towards the bed.

Quinn maintained eye contact with her the entire way. Rachel stared at her from the bed and Quinn slowly walked closer. The closer she walked, the more Rachel scooted backwards on the bed until she was near the headboard. She laid back, dark brown hair splayed invitingly across her pillows and Quinn stood there motionless.

Rachel scrambled to sit up once she realized Quinn wasn't moving to meet her at the top of the bed. Her gaze darted from her pristine bed sheets to Quinn in uncertainty because they had made out horizontally before but she really didn't know if that was okay _now_. She had no clue what was fair game and what wasn't in this _new _version of something that really wasn't all that new.

Then Quinn's knee hit the mattress and her gaze slowly lifted to darkening hazel eyes. "What do you want, Rachel?" she asked lowly.

"I want you up here," she whispered. "With me."

Next, her hand hit the mattress, followed by another knee and another hand until she was crawling up the bed. The closer she got the more Rachel sank back into the bed until they were nose to nose and her hair was splayed out on the pillows again.

Quinn's gaze washed over her in quiet observation because this was exactly what she had been wanting all summer and here it was laid out before her to take.

Only, she couldn't _take __her _and that thought swam in her mind as she dipped down and kissed Rachel softly. This was her chance to make promises and seal them. To hopefully put Rachel's insecurities away for good or at least for a long time. Her tongue swooped and dipped inside and Rachel sucked softly, cupping warm cheeks in her hand. She pulled back to look down at her one more time, lifting off Rachel's body to lay more towards the side, pressed tightly against her.

Rachel turned her head to accommodate the kiss, never letting Quinn go far. Her hand trailed down Quinn's jaw towards the back of her neck. Her fingers curled, digging softly at the nape of her neck and she felt Quinn moan against her mouth, hips shifting forward against the top of her thigh. She smiled against her lips a little because Puck wouldn't know how to get this reaction from Quinn. He wouldn't even know that she was sensitive there.

Her hands skated down Quinn's torso, rubbing her firmly before slipping under her shirt. She was all soft skin and lean muscle that quivered under the barest touch of Rachel's fingertips. Her hands skirted higher and she sighed against Quinn's mouth when she got to touch her breasts. She gave the gentle swell of flesh in her hand a squeeze and those hips thrusted into her with a little more force.

Quinn shifted away from Rachel before rolling onto her completely. Her hands dug into the mattress on either side of Rachel's head as she dove in to kiss her harshly, all tongue and teeth and Rachel fought to keep up when she felt a hand creep under her sweater.

She pulled away long enough to whisper, "Take this off," against Quinn's lips before kissing her again.

Quinn tensed above her and pulled back to look down at her. Her chest was heaving with each ragged breath and a telling blush was beginning to creep along her face. "Are you sure?"

Rachel sat up with her, until Quinn was practically in her lap. "It's not like we haven't…before."

"Yeah, but—" she licked her lips and stalled because—was this any different? For some reason it felt like it was.

"If you're uncomfortable—"

She laughed lowly because the virgin in this situation was giving her some variation of the, _we __don__'__t __have __to __do __this __if __it__'__ll __make __you __uncomfortable _speech. She shook her head a little and reached for the hem of her shirt, taking a deep breath and pulling it over her head.

_Stretch __marks, _was the first thought that popped into her head and Rachel must have noticed because she grabbed her arms before she was able to cross them to cover the invisible lines she felt marred her body. "Beautiful," was all Rachel said.

She tugged on her arms until they were closer and kissed Quinn softly. Quinn kissed her more forcefully until Rachel got the hint and lied back against the covers once more. Her own hands deftly unclasped her bra and tossed it aside and not more than five seconds later were Rachel's hands covering her breasts reverently. She sighed in appreciation as a thumb circled her areola before an achingly slow path was traced along her nipple. Her hands flew to the hem of Rachel's sweater and it was up and over her head without a second thought. Rachel's warm mouth latched onto her nipple and she hissed quietly when her tongue stroked upwards before unclasping her bra. Lips closed around the hardened bud and sucked eagerly and Quinn buried her hands in thick, dark hair. "Rachel," she moaned quietly.

She couldn't get that beautifully torturous mouth to let her nipple go and she smirked quietly as her hand skated down Rachel's throat and shoulder until she was gently cupping her breast. Her thumb and forefinger gripped a dusky brown nipple and gave a harsh tug. Rachel moaned loudly, back arching and Quinn's nipple popped free. She giggled quietly, pressing against Rachel's sternum until she was back against the bed once more. A pout didn't even have time to work its way onto her face before Quinn was kissing her heatedly. She squeezed their hips together tightly to press the full length of herself against Rachel.

Rachel's hands splayed across her back to pull her impossibly closer. A familiar ache settled between her legs that she hadn't felt in so long. If so long could count as two weeks ago when they were in the bathroom stall. She could have cried of happiness now as her hands caressed soft pale skin and hard pink nipples because this was what she had wanted two days ago when they were on the phone, and two weeks ago when they were in the stall, and two months when they weren't even together and…shit, two _years_ ago when they weren't even _friends_.

"Fuck," she hissed quietly because, when did Quinn's mouth make it to her nipple? She had felt it immediately, the soft press of her tongue sliding across her pebbled flesh. Her fingers weaved through blonde hair as Quinn peppered kisses across her chest. She placed a slow deliberate kiss just off center, towards the left of Rachel's chest and looked up with a small smile. A smile that Rachel returned with a grin. A grin that was wiped off her face when Quinn took her other nipple between her teeth and nipped harshly.

Rachel arched powerfully with a sharp cry as Quinn soothed the bite with her tongue. Her hips pressed upwards until they met resistance against the firm muscle of Quinn's thigh and she shuddered at the feel. Her tender nipple was continuously assaulted and her hips continuously rocked back and forth on their own accord.

Quinn sucked in a harsh breath through her nose as the odd press of Rachel's hips became familiar. Wanton, needy. It took a few thrusts and her questioning herself until she realized _yes_. Whether Rachel was even aware of her own actions or not, she was most definitely trying to get herself off. Quinn felt herself flood at the mere thought and _feel _of Rachel's hips meeting hers every few seconds in an excruciatingly slow thrust of her hips. She felt how the essence of her girlfriend brushed against her bare thigh on every upward stroke. She dropped her head to Rachel's chest, trying to calm herself and steady her breathing.

She wanted to pull away because this was too much too soon. That was her thought process but when Rachel thrusted forward particularly hard, she couldn't help but return that in kind, pinning slim hips to the mattress below her. The moan that ripped from Rachel's throat was nothing short of primal and it rocked straight through Quinn.

Heavy lidded eyes opened to peer up at Quinn. Quinn licked her lips. "Rachel, I—"

"Don't stop," she begged.

She found it hard to stop when that voice was panting and moaning to her. Her hips rocked slowly against Rachel, only providing her barest hint of contact. "Rachel, do you even know what you're doing?"

"No," she admitted. Her eyes grew hazy and unfocused and Quinn slowed even more so she could pay attention. "B-but I know that I want this."

"What _is _this?" She watched her intently, her gaze flicking across her face. "Is this about Puck?"

"_No_." She winced a little because maybe it was. Maybe she really just needed to know that Quinn wanted her.

The stern look on Quinn's face alerted her to the fact that Quinn wasn't buying it. "Quinn, this isn't about Noah; it's about us." She took her bottom lip between her teeth nervously. She was splayed before Quinn in obvious invitation and if Quinn simply backed away and left her there—her eyes welled up at the thought. "Could we just keep going? Please?"

Her hips stilled and Quinn brought a hand up to rub her face in quiet exasperation. "Rachel, sweetie, you can't just throw yourself into these things because you're feeling insecure," she said softly. "Been there, done that."

Her heart warmed at the term of endearment and something about it really marked that _right __now _was really the right time for this. "I'm throwing myself into this because I want you, regardless of my insecurities," she replied without hesitation. "I-I mean, yes—I do feel a little insecure because Noah kissed you; I admit it, okay? But I want you." She brought a hand up to cup the side of Quinn's face softly. "Quinn, I love you. And I'm not asking for sex because I'm not ready for that yet. All I want is—" she stopped short, unsure of how to conclude that sentence.

"A little dry humping," Quinn supplied and smiled when Rachel flushed because this was so _her _before the pregnancy and before dropping out of society over the summer and seeing things that would probably make a grown man cry.

But here, now, this felt innocent, intimate, important. It always did with Rachel.

Rachel's eyes lowered. "When you put it that way, it doesn't sound romantic."

She thrusted against Rachel hard just once and leaned down to kiss her slowly. Rachel accepted her tongue and twisted her own around it as she felt Quinn grind against her in deliberate circles, slim arms wrapping around her to hold her securely. _Romantic_. This was romantic and hot and made her hot and sticky and pretty soon she was returning thrust for thrust.

Quinn kissed a trail down Rachel's throat and buried her face there, panting softly as she rubbed against a tensed thigh. She felt more than heard Rachel moan by the vibrations of her throat as fingers gripped her hair desperately.

"Don't stop this time," Rachel moaned.

Quinn placed a kiss against her neck. "I won't," she promised. She really, really wasn't. Not when she was beginning to feel wetness slick her thigh, not when Rachel eagerly pumped her hips upwards, not when she felt her clit harden and brush against Rachel's thigh to create a tingling feeling between her legs.

It was over too soon. Rachel kept moaning in her ear and her moaning turned to whimpers that increased in pitch until she came with Quinn's name on her lips and it completely _wrecked _Quinn. She collapsed bonelessly on top of the girl beneath her and Rachel scooped her up into her arms. Rachel's fingers combed lazily through her hair as the two of them just lied there, catching their breaths and listening to each other's breathing. Quinn could hear Rachel's heart beat loudly and clearly against her chest and something about it just made her feel _alive_. More alive than she had felt in her entire life. She brought a hand up to grip Rachel's side tightly, holding her there, reassuring herself that she wouldn't go anywhere.

Rachel lied back, blinking at the ceiling rapidly. She still felt tingly…everywhere. She had never felt anything this incredible before and wondered what took her and Quinn so long to do this. She felt Quinn stir above her and eased her grip on her hair so she could look up. Her hair was mussed, her blush had yet to fade but she looked satisfied and so innocent. Rachel smiled.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked carefully.

Rachel bit her lip because she didn't want to sound overly eager but she had really enjoyed what had just transpired. "I really liked what we did, Quinn," she said quietly.

Quinn crawled up and off of her body until they were resting side by side, face to face. "So, you'd want to do that again?"

She nodded eagerly and leaned over to kiss her softly.

Quinn rolled over onto her back once the kiss was over and breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that not only did Rachel not regret what they had done, but she had enjoyed it and wanted to do it again. She felt the mattress dip and felt Rachel lie against her shoulder. Her hand reached out without hesitancy and began tweaking a pink nipple between her fingers.

It was odd to Quinn that this setting had the ability to feel domestic despite the fact that her daughter wasn't there. Simply having Rachel near her made her feel like she was at home.

"Tell me about her," Rachel said softly.

Quinn took a deep breath. "She's beautiful," was the instant reply. She was beginning to feel like a broken record. "She was asleep when I got there. Then she woke up and her eyes…her eyes are darker than mine but her mannerisms are all mine," she said proudly.

Rachel sank further into her, trying to picture exactly what Quinn was talking about.

"And she spoke." Her lips curled into a smile. "And she said my name, Rachel, _my_ name. It was so incredible."

"I can imagine," she said with a smile of her own.

"And she drank from a real cup. Shelby hadn't got her to drink from a cup yet, but I did it. She trusts me."

Rachel tensed at the mention of Shelby and Quinn ran a soothing hand down her back in understanding. She didn't really know what she could say to help reconcile that situation. She just hoped that her presence was enough.

Quinn took her top lip between her teeth for a few pensive seconds, imagining what it would be like if the two most important people in her life met. "Rachel, would you—the next time I go would you…want to?"

Rachel sat up slowly to face her as the words sank in. This was a big step, a _huge _step. "Quinn, I'd be honored," she said sincerely, heart bouncing all over the place in her chest.

"Really? If you'd be uncomfortable being around Shelby, I'd understand."

She shook her head a little and leaned down to kiss her forcefully. Quinn blinked up at her when she pulled back, trying to gather air in her lungs. It was true that Rachel was uncomfortable around Shelby, but she wasn't about to have that ruin an opportunity to spend time with Quinn and Beth. "I want to see her," she said softly.

Quinn nodded and pulled Rachel closer to lie against her again. They pressed as tightly together as they could, having had three months of space between them to make up for. Quinn's fingers traced every inch of her she could, the expanse of her back, the dip of her lower back, down her sides, the underside of her breast. It had been months since she got to touch her like this and even then, it wasn't quite like _this_ because this somehow felt like _more_.

All the while, Rachel dotted kisses along her shoulder and ran her thumb across her nipple. Their arousal simmered below the surface, occasionally flaring up but for now they were just content to relearn each other.

They lied there for an hour longer, exchanging kisses before Quinn put her clothes on and left to avoid Rachel's fathers catching her. Then she came back about two hours later, showered and dressed primly for dinner. Despite the fact that kissing Puck provided a brief draw back, Quinn could confidently say that the past two days had been the best of her life.

And if Rachel walked with a bounce in her step and was a bit more easy-going for the next two or three days, it may or may not have had to do with a certain person.

And if Quinn didn't glare as harshly during Booty Camp rehearsals or argue with Finn for the next day or so, it may or may not have had to do with a certain someone.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N****1:**Hello to all the people that favorite-d and story alerted this story last chapter. I got an insane number of emails. So, welcome. I'm guessing you all like dry humping.

/inappropriate joke

**A/N****2:**I have never, nor will I ever pretend to have seen _West __Side__ Story_—it's just not my thing. That being said, I did go through the script and pull a few lines. The internet is only but so reliable so if there is anything wrong—wording or punctuation wise—with lines from the play that I have posted in this chapter or any subsequent chapters then I apologize.

* * *

><p>Rachel thought about sex way more often after she and Quinn were almost intimate that day at her house a couple of weeks ago. And it couldn't even be referred to as <em>almost <em>intimate because what they shared _defined _intimacy. It was raw and passionate and Rachel could now understand what Ms. Pillsbury, Coach Bieste, and Artie meant when they said she lacked it because what she felt that night, she had never felt before. It was amazing.

Like, fireworks amazing.

It didn't even surprise her that the one person who could give her such a sexual awakening was Quinn. It made sense, all of their encounters in the past, even when they were arguing had been filled with passion. It bubbled under the surface, smoldered and it had for years up until the point where neither of them could stand it anymore. It got to the point where it was suffocating just to be near each other because there were so many things left unsaid, so many actions that hadn't been taken, _needed_ to be taken.

She crossed her legs tightly and stared at the back of Quinn's head. She was sitting in front of Rachel, taking notes diligently the same way Rachel wanted to but she couldn't concentrate. All she thought of was smooth pale skin, feminine curves, and lean muscle. All she could hear resounding in her head was how Quinn moaned her name when she came. It was all so erotic and consuming and—what would it be like when they finally _made __love_? What would it be like when she could finally part Quinn's thighs and settle between them to experience _all_ of her? She shivered at the thought. By then they would have completely learned each other and it would be nothing short of amazing.

"Rachel?"

She jerked back when a pale hand shifted back and forth in front of her face. She could feel herself flushing as Quinn looked at her with confusion. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," she chirped. She looked up to find that Mr. Schuester was gone. Probably on a bathroom break. When she looked back to Quinn, she couldn't help but fidget a little in her seat as she was assaulted with all of those thoughts again and when that lone eyebrow shot up and those pink lips curved into a smirk, she knew she was in trouble.

"Distracted?" Quinn asked, her voice decidedly lower than it was when she first turned around.

If it was possible, Rachel flushed a little more under the scrutiny. "A little," she allowed, her bottom lip disappearing between her teeth.

At the admission, the smirk on Quinn's face morphed into a genuine smile. "Glad I'm not the only one who…can't stop thinking about it."

Rachel's heart swelled because she thought that she had been the only one who couldn't stop thinking about it. They hadn't talked about it much, just left it at the fact that they both seemed to have enjoyed it and wouldn't mind doing it again in the future. Hopefully the near future, if Rachel had anything to say about it.

"Anyway," Quinn continued after a moment. "I just wanted to borrow a pen. Mine isn't working anymore."

Her lips quirked up. "Really, Quinn?"

Quinn rolled her eyes a little, more at her own lame excuse than at Rachel. "Okay, so maybe I didn't really need a pen."

Rachel grinned. "It's perfectly alright; I understand completely. Sometimes I just want to look at you, too."

She watched, completely charmed, as a blush crawled along Quinn's cheeks. "_Anyway_," she said pointedly around Rachel's giggle. "I was wondering if I could come over today after your rehearsals."

"You could come _to _my rehearsals then follow me home afterwards."

The door opened and Mr. Schuester walked inside, heading straight to the white board in the front of the classroom. "Fine," Quinn said quietly, turning back around to face the front.

Rachel leaned back in her seat and alternated between staring at the back of Quinn's head and at the board for her lesson. Really, putting her and Quinn in the same class was just setting her up to fail. But at least she had an amazing view.

* * *

><p>They certainly hadn't made out in the janitor's closet in a while. Months. It felt odd yet familiar—the hard press of a shelf, digging into Quinn's lower back as the warm press of Rachel's soft body distracted her attention from it. Rachel's hands gripped onto her hips as she pressed onto the tips of her toes to stroke her tongue softly against Quinn's. Her fingers twitched and itched to dip lower. If only Quinn hadn't been wearing a damn dress…<p>

"I couldn't believe you thought about it, too," she breathed as her head dipped down to kiss a trail along Quinn's neck. "Quinn, you were so…hot." Eloquence failed her and for once, she didn't care. Sometimes she really was something as simple as a horny teenager. "I loved every minute of it."

Quinn couldn't take anymore. She flipped them over and pressed Rachel against the shelves. When it looked like Rachel was going to complain about the shelf, Quinn pressed tightly against her and all was forgotten. Maybe next time they could use the door if they made an agreement not to writhe and squirm against it and cause noise. "Of course I thought about it," she whispered back. "I still think about it." She leaned down and trailed kisses along Rachel's neck, pressing deeply into the base of her throat the way she knew she liked.

Rachel moaned loudly, Quinn shushing her as she squirmed against her. Okay, maybe the door could only be an option if Quinn was the one against it. "Quinn, I want to touch you," she breathed.

Quinn chuckled breathlessly. "We have class in five minutes. And while you have the luxury of walking around the corner to yours, I have to walk downstairs for art."

"Three more minutes," she whined. Her hands cupped supple breasts gently and Quinn moaned quietly, burying her face into Rachel's neck.

"Three more minutes."

* * *

><p>Quinn spun her combination into her locker before opening it, barely being able to put her books in her locker before they spilled out onto the floor. She swung her hair out of her eye and deposited her box of pencils from art class.<p>

"You look like a loser."

The voice was unmistakable and Quinn pressed her tongue against her cheek, half amused, half annoyed. She slammed her locker shut and turned around to find Mack standing there, arms crossed, hip cocked out with a smirk on her face. "And you're talking to me, so what does that make you?" Quinn challenged with an eyebrow raise.

"Dead meat if Sheila and Ronnie find out." They stared at each other for a moment until Mack uncrossed her arms and walked closer.

"They're still mad at me?" Quinn asked as she approached.

Mack shrugged. "A little. I think they're just upset that you don't hang out with us anymore more than anything."

"You're the one who told me to get lost," she hissed, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Yeah, true." Mack nodded until her gaze fell lower under Quinn's scrutiny.

Quinn looked around to find the hallway completely empty. When she looked back, Mack still wasn't meeting her gaze. "What do you want?" she asked coolly.

She shrugged again. "I don't know. I just saw you here, so…"

"So, you missed me and thought you'd come over and say hi?" she guessed, astutely. Mack shrugged a third time and Quinn almost smiled. "Why should I even be talking to you right now? And use your words this time."

"Because we used to be friends?" She sighed when the look on Quinn's face didn't budge. "Fine, Quinn, we all miss you. Is that what you wanna hear?"

"I just want the truth," she told her. "If that's the truth, then yeah, it's what I want to hear."

Mack rubbed her lips together nervously. "You should hang out with us sometime. We're going to my house after school and—"

"How do I know you don't just want me to come to your house so the three of you can try to beat me up?"

She outright laughed at that. "I don't fight unless it's fair. Why do you think I didn't join in when Sheila and Ronnie fought your friend? They're both big chicks and that Santana chick is like a twig; wouldn't have been fair."

"You're so sure of yourself, aren't you?" Quinn asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Win, lose, or draw, I can at least say the brawl was fair."

"Well, it doesn't matter. I can't come over your house today." She leaned back against the lockers. "I'm going to Rachel's."

Mack rolled her eyes. "Of course, The Amazing Rachel," she mocked. "You used to be cool before her."

"I used to be really fucked up, too," she replied wryly.

"She's square."

Quinn laughed a little. "Yeah. But I like that about her. What loser still walks around saying 'square' anyway?" she challenged.

Mack scoffed as Quinn pushed off the locker and started walking away. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Rachel has rehearsals right now. You're welcome to come if you want."

"That's lame."

"Then don't come," was the flippant reply Quinn tossed over her shoulder.

…They both arrived in the auditorium and quietly tip-toed through the aisles to find a seat. "I don't even know why I followed you here," Mack grumbled.

Quinn sat down in the center of the third row as Mack sat down beside her. "Either you missed my company or you're a secret theatre nerd. Pick one and shut up."

It turned out Mack really _was _a secret theatre nerd because as soon as a group of singers stepped onstage, she was quiet and engrossed in the performance. Even going as far as shushing Quinn when a question was asked or a comment made.

Mack leaned over to Quinn after the performance was over. "I could do a better accent than these offensive assholes."

Quinn barely bit back a smile. "Maybe there's a point to the lame accents?" Mack shot her a look and she laughed. "You should audition as an extra then."

"No way. This is lame."

"Then don't complain."

Next, Rachel walked on stage and Quinn watched with rapt attention as she and Blaine arrived from opposite sides and met together in the middle of the stage.

"Anytime you're ready," Ms. Pillsbury said brightly.

"I need you guys to bring it today like you brought it last week," Bieste chimed in.

Rachel and Blaine came to a stop directly in front of each other. He gave her a small smile before slipping into character. "You're not thinking I'm someone else?"

"I know you are not," Rachel said in a carefully measured voice.

"Or that we have met before?"

Lately Rachel had taught herself to pull on little things here and there that cued her into her own feelings and allowed her to suspend herself from this moment and relive times like when she saw Quinn for the very first time, twirling in the hallway in her Cheerios uniform that to this day, to this very moment caused Rachel's stomach to flutter. The feelings from key moments like that hit her full force and took over her voice, her facial expressions, body language. She was able to completely embody love and passion, wants and desires.

"I know we have not," she breathed, taking a step closer.

"I felt, I knew something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is—"

"My hands are cold," Rachel interrupted. She was directly in front of him, looking up at Blaine with startling vulnerability that even had Quinn raising eyebrows.

Blaine took her hands softly into his own. Rachel maintained eye contact as he brought her hands towards his face. "So warm," she whispered reverently. Her gaze smoldered and burn through Blaine as her mind flittered through images of her hands touching the warm skin of Quinn's abdomen that day at her house a couple weeks ago.

Blaine slowly moved their hands from his face towards hers, gently cupping her cheek. "Beautiful."

"Beautiful," she echoed, thinking of the prettiest girl she had ever met.

"It's so much to believe," Blaine said, brow furrowing. "You're not joking?"

Rachel smiled coquettishly, curled tendrils of brown hair splashing tantalizingly over her shoulders. Quinn sat forward in her seat. "I have not yet learned how to joke that way. I think now I never will."

Blaine grabbed her hand again and brought it to his lips, brushing his lips softly against it. Then, he leaned forward slowly, their lips touched and Rachel's breath hitched, thinking of all the times and all the ways she had kissed Quinn.

"Alright cut," Bieste said, whistling quietly. "That was hotter than an inferno."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say the two of you were in love," Ms. Pillsbury said.

Quinn chewed her lip, scowling as Mack nudged her in the rib.

Artie began a slow clap. "This was the hottest one yet, dog."

Rachel smiled giddily, bowing in front of everyone. Her eyes drifted behind the directors to find Quinn sitting in the third row. She smiled wildly, waving enthusiastically at her.

Quinn couldn't help but smile back and return the wave.

"Square," Mack huffed under her breath.

"Watch it," Quinn warned.

Rachel gathered her belongings and quickly ran offstage to Quinn.

"Hi, Quinn," she greeted with a timid smile.

Quinn's eyebrows shot up in surprise because Rachel was rarely shy. But then Rachel was practically pouncing on her again and things were back to normal. Her arms were full of tan limps and a big smile. "Hey, Rachel." Rachel pulled back with that same smile. "You were great."

If it was possible, her smile widened even more. She pulled back to finally notice the girl by Quinn's side. "Hello, um—forgive me, but I never got your name."

"It's 'cause I never gave it to you."

"Her name is Mack," Quinn told her, glaring pointedly at the girl in question. She looked back to Rachel. "She's actually looking for a spot as an extra in the play. Think you can pull some strings?"

Rachel's lips pressed together tightly as she stared at Quinn with obvious displeasure. Quinn stared back as if nothing was wrong. "I'll…see what I can do," she said carefully, shooting Quinn one more look that clearly meant this was going to be discussed later.

Quinn smiled brightly. "Awesome." She turned towards Mack. "Anyway, I have to go; it was nice catching up with you and everything and I'll…consider that offer."

"You do that." Mack looked towards Rachel. "And I guess you're an okay Maria."

Rachel blinked once, hard. "T-thank you. I think."

Mack swiveled around and walked down the aisle and out of the auditorium. Quinn watched her go with pensive features before turning back to Rachel. "What?" she asked defensively when she saw the look on Rachel's face.

Rachel took a step closer, folding her arms. "I just don't want you to be a…one of them again."

Quinn's mouth opened and closed in obvious shock because, "Is that your roundabout way of calling me a skank?"

The conversation was supposed to be serious but Rachel couldn't stop the laugh that was bubbling in her throat. Sometimes they _really _sucked at communicating.

* * *

><p>The door to Rachel's room shut with finality against her father's orders. Just like it always did. Though Quinn did appreciate the fact that Leroy never barged in on them because surely he knew what they were up to half the time.<p>

Quinn collapsed down on to the bed with familiarity, resting on the pillows. Rachel sat down beside her, folding her legs in front of her and staring at Quinn. "So, you want that…Mack person to be in my play?"

"Well, yeah. I think it would be good for her."

Rachel scoffed. "The only thing that would probably be good for her is a juvenile detention center."

"Rachel—"

"They're not good people, Quinn. They terrorize, they steal, they fight—one of them gave you a black eye," she finished, with a concerned murmur, her fingertips brushing over Quinn's eye.

Quinn grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. "You shouldn't be so judgemental of them. I was one of them, after all. Do you judge me that harshly?"

Her brow furrowed. "No, of course no—"

"Why?"

"Because you're Quinn," she exclaimed, as if her very name explained it all. And really, for Rachel it did.

Quinn sighed quietly. "Rachel, they're just like me."

Rachel snorted quietly in disbelief but Quinn continued.

"They just lack guidance," she said softly, almost fondly. "I can relate to that. I spent my whole life lacking any real guidance and I ended up finding them. If that isn't a sign, then I don't know what is."

"But you ended up finding _me._ Isn't that a sign?" she asked.

Quinn smiled up at her. "I would say _you _found _me,_ but it was definitely a miracle of some sort because who knows where I'd be…" she allowed the thought to trail off with a heavy sigh.

"It's a good thing I found you," Rachel concluded.

Quinn nodded. "If it's one thing I've learned it's that everyone needs someone to…pull them forward, I guess is what I'm saying. And you've been that for me. So, let me be that for Mack."

"Why is she so important to you?" Rachel asked quietly.

"They're all important to me. They're my friends."

"They hurt you."

"How many times have I hurt you?" She cringed on the inside because she hated bringing it up, but she needed Rachel to see that this was the same situation. "You're the one who said it's never too late to make amends."

Rachel looked down at her forlornly. "Quinn, I just want you—"

"All to yourself?" she asked quietly. Rachel sighed, feeling foolish. She tugged her hand away but Quinn just sat up and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Rachel," she sighed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I know that our relationship weirdly works because I'm a loner and you're sometimes lonely, but I'm going to have friends…occasionally." She prodded at Rachel's rib until she laughed a little. "And so are you. But we can still have friends and have each other, too."

Rachel turned to look at her then, all wide eyes and downturned lips. "Promise you'll still want me when you get your friends back?"

"I promise."

Rachel leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Promise to still make time for me when you get your friends back?"

"I promise."

She kissed her again. "And you'll still come over and we can still be like this?"

"Of course."

Rachel sighed and tucked herself under Quinn's chin. She grabbed one of the hands from around her waist and intertwined their fingers, tucking them into her lap. "I'm difficult, aren't I?"

Quinn barked out a quiet laugh. "Aren't we both?"

She didn't respond, though her non-answer was very much a confirmation of what they both knew. Rachel was high maintenance and Quinn was emotionally unavailable about eighty-five percent of the time yet sometimes the stars would align or their luck would turn up and they could just be like _this_, holding hands and each other, exchanging kisses and Rachel would talk and Quinn would listen and if there was such a thing as perfect, this would come damn near close.

"How do you think I did today?" Rachel asked idly as she traced patterns in the palm of Quinn's hand.

"You were great," Quinn replied. And she was. With all the complaining Rachel did about how she was afraid she lacked passion for her performance, Quinn saw a lot up there this afternoon.

Rachel smiled sheepishly, ducking her head to watch as her fingers played with Quinn's. "Thank you for coming. I know how things like watching me rehearse can feel like some form of cruel torture and boring but—"

"Rachel," she cut in, "I'm not Finn. Which means I have a high intelligence quotient and can appreciate that while I don't particularly like to act or even watch plays that my girlfriend does like those things and it's important to her."

She tried to fight the smile on her face in order to chastise Quinn properly. "Quinn, don't talk about Finn like that." But her tone of voice belied her reproach because not only did Quinn call her her girlfriend, but she also didn't mind doing the little things like sitting in the auditorium with her after school and watching her rehearse for her play.

"Bottom line is, I wasn't bored." Her lips curved into a challenging smirk. "You don't know me, Berry."

"I know you better than anyone, thank you very much," Rachel replied haughtily, tilting her nose towards the air.

"What's my favorite color?"

"Yellow," Rachel instantly responded with. "What's mine?"

"Green," she murmured with a small smile. Sometimes she felt really lucky.

She was rewarded with a kiss against her cheek, but pulled Rachel closer once she began to pull back and kissed her on the lips. Rachel lingered then, nuzzling their noses together sweetly before she pulled away. And maybe Quinn was a goner. Her small obsession that she had with Rachel in tenth grade had morphed into full blown love that felt pretty irrevocable at this point but maybe that was okay. She didn't feel nearly as doomed as she had the first time around, didn't feel like she was just casted out to sea with no hope of getting back to the mainland. She had some experience to work with.

She had something else in her life to make her happy.

She had Beth and maybe, hopefully, she would have Mack, Ronnie, and Sheila again.

Rachel poked her lightly in the ribs. "Hey, come back to me."

Quinn looked up to face Rachel.

"Where did you go?"

She blanched at the question. "I was thinking about…me and…you."

Rachel's head tilted cutely. "Us?" Quinn nodded stiltedly and Rachel fidgeted a little, head bowed. "You know, Quinn, I—when you…broke up with me," she began quietly, unsure if they should even be talking about this right now, "I thought you—maybe you didn't love me? Or like me?" She met Quinn's eyes briefly before she looked down again. "I-I don't know. Maybe we should just not talk about this."

Quinn inhaled deeply, running a hand across her face in exasperation. She didn't want to talk about it but Rachel had opened up a can of worms now, that she knew from previous experience would fester and eat away at her until it presented itself a month later at an inappropriate time. Probably an argument.

"I mean, I thought that I maybe made you unhappy, but you said I didn't so—"

"I wasn't unhappy," Quinn said slowly, carefully. She wasn't sure what to share and what to keep to herself. She wasn't good at relaying emotions. It would honestly probably be easier for her to kiss Rachel from head to toe until her lips were raw and until Rachel finally _felt_ what Quinn felt for her because this whole talking thing was like pulling teeth. "I—" her tongue dragged over her lips in uncertainty as she stared at Rachel. "I sometimes thought of maybe—I don't know—going to New York. With you. You don't—if you don't love someone or even _like _them, you don't think of doing…that."

Rachel shifted closer. "Do you still think about going with me?" she asked quietly as if this was a best kept secret.

"Maybe? I don't have definite plans," she breathed anxiously. "My father keeps popping in and out talking about college and…I don't know."

"I want you to—"

"I know you do," she whispered with a faint smile. "And I want to—I think. It's just—is it a naïve thought?"

"Probably," Rachel admitted without a hint of apology for their naïveté. "But I just—I think about it, Quinn. And I think about trivial things like buying expensive cups of coffee with you at Starbucks in between classes and…it makes me happy. I think about starring in a school play and you being there, front and center, watching me do what I love to do and that makes me happy."

"I've never had big ideas like that, Rachel," Quinn told her. "Sure, lately, I've entertained the thought of being in New York with you, but—up until very recently, up until I've sort of accepted the fact that I'm gay," she whispered, looking down briefly, "I had been okay with being _here _and…marrying Finn," she snorted indelicately because it wasn't funny but it wasn't _not_ at least somewhat facetious because she and Finn could hardly stand each other at this point. Rachel even threw in a wry smile at the thought. "—And being a realtor, but now I just…" There wasn't really a logical way to end that train of thought, so she just kind of let it wither and die like the notion of staying in Lima and marrying Finn of all people and becoming a realtor.

Rachel ran a soothing hand across the wrinkles in her forehead and through her hair until she relaxed and sagged against her. "What do you want, Quinn?" she asked. "That's really all it should boil down to."

"You," she breathed quietly, heart hammering in her chest.

"Aside from me." Her voice was surprisingly firm and serious though her fingers continued to comb softly through blonde hair. "I think what got us into trouble the first time was the fact that I was all that made you happy, correct? Which means that this time around there has to be something else aside from me that you desire." Her gaze flicked over Quinn's face until she met her eyes. Her lips ticked upwards. "Unless that desire leads you to another woman."

Quinn made a derisive noise that clearly meant: _give __me__ a__ break, __Rachel_. "What makes you happy?" she asked, already knowing the answer. She ticked off the list in her head just as Rachel said them aloud.

"You, of course. And my fathers, and singing, acting, dancing—though to a much lesser degree than singing and acting."

"Beth makes me happy."

Rachel smiled sadly. "Will she be coming to New York though?"

Her heart snagged. "I guess not," she said quietly.

Suddenly Rachel felt like she had stuck her foot in her mouth by starting this whole conversation. She leaned down and rested her forehead lightly against Quinn's. A warm palm slid along the back of her neck and held her there as she heard Quinn breathe in deeply. People always wondered how they got along because they had never seen them like _this_. When Quinn wasn't the cold, bitchy, popular girl and Rachel wasn't the arrogant, big-mouthed, loser. They were simply two girls who _understood_ each other in ways no one else could understand them. "Just think about it," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn nodded, the movement of her head causing Rachel's to slip and slide everywhere and she giggled quietly, kissing her on the lips.

She pulled away to give Quinn some space and got up from the bed to retrieve her pink, five subject notebook from her desk.

"I have a draft of the setlist for Sectionals," she said happily, offering a subject change.

"Goody," Quinn said dryly, but her warm tone of voice held her appreciation.

She sat back down on the bed, legs dangled off the side as she flipped through the notebook and Quinn shuffled closer, laying sideways across the bed to get a look.

"There's no _Journey _this time, is there?"

Rachel chuckled quietly. "I think Mr. Schuester has exhausted all of their number one hits."

Quinn eyes raced over the list of tracks they would be performing for Sectionals. She smiled a little before sitting back, resting her elbow on the mattress and her head in her hands. "How many solos do you get, Rachel?"

"Three," she chirped proudly.

"Hmm, so enough to share, then?"

Rachel looked down at her. "What do you mean?"

"I was just saying that maybe you could toss Tina a solo. Definitely not Candace, though."

"But…" she bit her lip. "I like all of these songs."

Quinn shot her a dry look. "Rachel, you like all the songs that come through the pipe."

"You make it sound like you don't like hearing my voice," she grumbled. Her bottom lip jutted out dramatically as her entire face elongated. Quinn's head lolled to the side with a quiet chuckle because she simply _could__ not_ resist. She leaned up onto her hand and sunk her teeth into that pouted lower lip. Rachel hummed quietly as their lips connected fully.

"I'm not saying you have to completely give up your spotlight," Quinn murmured against her lips as she pulled back. "And I'm not saying I don't like to hear you sing. I think your voice—it's beautiful." Rachel smiled brightly. "I'm just saying you could give other people solos like," Quinn lifted her chin up as if in deep thought, "maybe _once_ a month."

Rachel squawked out an indignant laugh. "I'm not _that _bad."

Quinn shrugged, smiling a little. "Just a thought."

"Maybe I should give _you_ a solo," she challenged, poking Quinn in the rib.

She squirmed a little. "Have I _ever_ had one?"

Rachel's jaw dropped. "I'm sure you have!"

She hummed quietly. "Name one?"

"_It__'__s __a __Man__'__s__, Man__'__s__ World_," she replied quickly.

"Let's see, Beth is about twenty months now. And I was about seven or eight months along when I performed that solo, so…"

"_Quinn_," she whined quietly.

"Almost two years ago?" she looked towards Rachel with a shit eating grin.

"Fine," she huffed. "I can give you a solo for Sectionals."

"Oh, could you?" she teased.

Her head bobbed up and down. "Your song selection would have to be dedicated to me, of course."

"Of _course_," she mocked with a laugh. "Do you think the judges would love _You__'__re __So__ Vain_?"

"Quinn, don't be mean!"

"It was a legitimate question!" she laughed, grabbing Rachel's wrist before the pillow she had in her grip smacked her in the face. Her other hand, plucked the pillow away as she brought Rachel's wrist closer and pressed her lips against the tender flesh. "Or how about _Us __Against __the__ World_?"

"I already love the song title," Rachel said quietly in that intimate tone of voice that drove Quinn crazy. "And I love our joint love of Coldplay."

"Then I get a solo?"

"You get a solo."

"Well, look at _you_," she said in a mocking jovial tone. "Sharing and everything!"

"Quinn, don't tease!"

* * *

><p>Quinn walked down the hallway purposefully, spotting Brittany at her locker. She smirked when she saw Santana there. This was going to be quicker and easier than she had originally planned.<p>

"Hey, B," she began with a bright smile, ignoring the person at Brittany's side. "I was wondering if you and Mike could come up with a dance routine for the solo I'll be performing at Sectionals. It's a slow song so no Beyoncé moves and—"

"Hold up," Santana cut in from beside Brittany. "You gets a solo, 'Ms. Quit Glee Club Whenever I Feel and Show Up at a Meeting as if it's All Cool'?"

"That's a really long title," Quinn observed with a head tilt.

"So, what—just because you're fucking the captain, you're allowed to share the spotlight?"

"No, because I asked _nicely_, I get the chance to share the spotlight. I don't charge at Rachel like a bull and demand she bow down to me."

"_Anymore_," Santana said, pointedly.

"That's right," Quinn fired right back without an ounce of shame. The only person she would forever owe an apology to was Rachel for what she had done in the past and she wasn't about to let someone like Santana of all people make her feel guilty. "I've…changed," she said quietly. How she despised that word.

"Yeah, well great for you. I don't really care." Her neck rocked back and forth as she put her hands on her hips. "I wants me a solo."

Quinn smirked. "Don't you get enough in Shelby's glee club? Though she can't really call it a glee club, can she?" Quinn taunted, then sucked her teeth in false pity. "Too bad you guys can't get enough people to even qualify for Invitationals. That Sugar girl is pure poison. Even as a choir, you guys are going to fail miserably."

Santana's eyes narrowed at the sugar-coated tone of voice Quinn was using. "What's your angle?" she asked quietly.

She shrugged. "Simple. Come back to New Directions and I'll give you my solo for Sectionals."

"Sure, you'll toss me one lame solo then I'll spend the rest of the year swaying in the background. No thanks, Q."

"You'll have more than one."

"I want as many as Rachel."

She smiled a little. "You won't have as many as her. But you'll have more than what you started out with."

"Then I don't want it."

"Look, with everyone around, we don't have time to give everyone a solo. I'm willing to sway in the background because I don't care. But Rachel has cared about this glee club from the very beginning. So has Tina and so has Mercedes—"

"Mercedes isn't even in the club anymore," Santana pointed out.

"We're working on that."

"Santana, I think you should join," Brittany chimed in for the first time. "I totally miss you at practices; no one will talk about Finn's puffy nipples or Puck's weird sideways mohawk thing he has going on with me."

Santana took a step back, eyeing them both and realizing that she was being ganged up on. Her shoulders tensed. "I'll join," she said gruffly. "But only on one condition."

"Name it," Quinn said.

"You have to come to our sleepover that you've been trying to dodge for weeks now."

She gritted her teeth in annoyance as a victorious smile flashed across Santana's face. Quinn had to do this and Santana knew it. Rachel wanted to get it right this year and Quinn knew there was no way they were going to take Nationals with the group they had now. They needed Mercedes and…they needed Santana.

She exhaled quietly, wishing there was another way but finally giving in. "Fine."


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Thank you to the lovely reviewers. Your love is appreciated. :)

* * *

><p>"No."<p>

"No? What do you mean 'no'?"

"I mean, I'm not talking to you."

"Why?"

Rachel slammed her locker shut and whirled around to face Quinn. "Do you have any idea what Santana said to me about an hour ago?"

Quinn's eyebrows shot up her forehead in both suspicion and confusion. "No?"

"She said—and I quote—Santana's back in this bitch and I gots your solo, Berry." Rachel folded her arms tightly across her chest. "And who exactly would she have gotten a solo from, Quinn?"

Her eyes widened. "I—it's not like that."

"Then what is it like, Quinn? Because I gave a solo to you specifically because you said you wanted one. Why does Santana have _your_ solo, and why is she back in glee club when I explicitly stated that she and Mercedes both weren't allowed to come back."

She hid a wince of surprise because Rachel sure could be authoritative when she wanted to be. "Look, Rachel, I was thinking about you when I gave her the solo."

"No, Quinn, you manipulated me out of a solo and gave it to Santana—who bullies me whenever she gets the chance."

Her entire expression darkened at the mention of that. "If she comes back to glee club, she will not be bullying or throwing slushies at you; that much I can promise."

"We wouldn't even have to be worried about that if you hadn't have given her a spot back in the club _and_ a solo."

Quinn gritted her teeth, feeling a surge of annoyance flare up in her. "I was only trying to help. You were the one that kept complaining that we don't have enough people."

"We have enough people now!" Rachel exclaimed.

"They're not good!" Quinn shouted back. "Rory is _okay _and I think we can both agree that Candace can barely hold a tune from time to time. We don't have a lot of strong female vocalists—I thought having Santana and Mercedes back would be a good thing!"

"All they did was whine and complain when they were in the club! About _me_!"

"Forget it!" Quinn spat. "I was trying to do this for you because I thought maybe if we had Mercedes and Santana that we could win, but if you're just going to stand there and yell at me then forget it. I take it back."

She slung her bag higher on her shoulder and walked away before the situation had a chance to get more out of hand. It felt like steam was coming from her ears as her feet hit the ground hard, storming down the hallway. She felt oddly like…Rachel when she did one of her storm offs and _why_ was Rachel rubbing off on her in this way?

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel ran down the hallway to catch up with her. She reached out and snagged Quinn's arm, turning her around. Quinn looked down at her, her gaze sharp and irritated. "Quinn, I don't want us to fight," Rachel sighed. "I'm sick of fighting with you."

"I didn't do this to intentionally hurt you," she said tersely. "I thought I was doing something helpful."

"I know and I'm sorry. I just—" she looked up to meet her eyes. "You know how much singing means to me. And I gave you that solo because you said you wanted it and I wanted to hear _you_ sing. Not Santana."

"I'm sorry," Quinn exhaled, visibly deflating. She leaned back against the lockers and grabbed Rachel's hand, tugging her closer to stand in front of her. "I didn't mean to…manipulate you," she said quietly. "But I don't think we can win Regionals with the group we have now. Sectionals? Maybe. But definitely not Regionals and _definitely _not Nationals; you of all people know how hard those judges are. One slip up could cost us. You remember last year." Rachel visibly flinched and Quinn offered a faint smile, her thumb rubbing circles over her hand. "Water under the bridge," she told her. "But as I was saying, if we want to win, if _you_ want to win, we need to have people that have been through it and know what to expect. Those newbies don't take this seriously. Santana and Mercedes would."

"But Santana always antagonizes me and Mercedes doesn't take practices seriously."

"You leave Santana to me," Quinn said firmly.

Rachel's brow furrowed. "Quinn, what are you going to do to her?"

She shrugged. "To get her to join the club I had to agree to have a sleepover with her and Brittany."

She frowned. "But you don't want to."

"Yeah, but I agreed so she would join."

All of the pieces were starting to fall into place for Rachel and damn it, this was such a _Quinn_ way of handling situations. A little manipulation, possible back stabbing and haggling. "Y-you did this for me?"

Quinn bit her lip, grumbling, "She wouldn't join otherwise, so…"

Rachel's cheeks dimpled with a smile. "Quinn, I—this is all very much appreciated," she prefaced. "I know how much you don't like dealing with Santana. But next time, when situations like this present themselves, would you just clue me in on what you plan on doing so we could do this together?"

She shrugged a little, looking down at their joined hands. "Okay," she said quietly.

Rachel stood there and thought of their predicament. "That takes care of Santana," she mused. "What about Mercedes?"

Quinn couldn't help but look up with a smirk. "That's where you come in."

"Really?" she asked, a little eagerly.

Quinn nodded. "Just…light a little fire under her ass. Nothing gets her more riled up than having to compete with you for stuff like solos or whatever."

Something about the two of them working together sent a little thrill through her. She always liked a good conspiracy. "What do I say?"

Quinn smiled at her enthusiasm and pulled her closer. "Just ruffle her feathers a little. If there's anyone that can get someone's hackles to rise, it's you."

Rachel preened herself with a smile, taking it as a compliment. Quinn laughed, placing a kiss on her head. Rachel looked up at her. "I didn't know glee club was so important to you."

She bit her lip. "It's not," she admitted hesitantly, then quietly, "But it's important to you."

Rachel leaned up to kiss her softly, continually being amazed at how amazing Quinn could really be. She was so far removed from the person Rachel knew in tenth grade that it was often times hard to believe they were the same person. "Plus, we get to take down Shelby."

Rachel laughed pretty hard at that one as her arms wrapped around Quinn's waist. She rested her head against her collarbone, looking down the empty hallway. "I would be lying if I said that wasn't at least somewhat exciting."

Quinn hummed quietly, wrapping an arm around slim shoulders. "That'll teach her not to mess with you."

They stayed there for a moment longer, Rachel rubbing circles along Quinn's lower back as Quinn curled dark brown hair absentmindedly along her finger. The even rise and fall of Quinn's chest lulled Rachel effortlessly and she snuggled a little further into her.

"Are you ready to go to glee?" Quinn murmured.

Oddly enough, she kind of didn't want to. She kind of just felt like going home with Quinn and falling asleep in her arms. But she pulled back with a wide smile because singing was a pretty good alternative to that. Her hand slid over Quinn's palm and she intertwined their fingers, pulling her along.

They arrived at the door and Rachel spotted Puck down the hallway before Quinn did. "Um, Quinn?"

"Yeah?" She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Rachel wasn't budging. She looked to Rachel, looked towards her line of sight and saw Puck walking down the hall. Quinn groaned quietly. "Tell me you're not serious," she muttered.

"I just have to exchange a few words with Noah, is all."

"We talked about this and you said you were going to let it go. He hasn't tried anything since."

Really, Quinn should have known better. Rachel had never been the type to let things go.

"Quinn, I really have some thoughts that I need to express to him."

"Rachel," she implored, then sighed at the look of determination on her face. Her cheeks puffed out in annoyance before she exhaled loudly. "Just—don't cry, okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't cry over _everything_, Quinn."

Quinn shot her a dubious look before walking into the choir room.

Puck walked closer to the door, biting his lip in contemplation when it seemed like Rachel was waiting specifically for him. "Good afternoon, my hot, Jewish-American princess."

Rachel scowled up at him. "Do not try to sweet talk me, Noah Puckerman. Quinn told me that you kissed her on the lips approximately three weeks ago when the two of you went to visit Beth."

Puck chuckled a little awkwardly, running a hand through his mowhawk. "She didn't keep that a secret, huh?"

"Noah, how could you?" she asked softly. "Granted the two of us aren't the best of friends but I thought we had an understanding—you always talk about a 'bro-code' with Finn and I would assume it would apply to us as well, and yet—"

"Berry," he interrupted. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know you and Quinn were 'serious' but she explained to me that you guys were or whatever and I get it. Won't happen again."

She smiled a little. "So, you won't do it again? Because as I'm sure you know Quinn is a lesbian," she said quietly, "and as such—you are in fact barking up the wrong tree, as they say."

"Quinn's gay?" he asked abruptly. "Shit. I—that's kinda hot, actually."

"You didn't know?"

"That's common knowledge?"

"I-I don't know," she murmured mostly to herself because maybe it wasn't and maybe she had said too much. "Noah, please don't go around telling everyone about this."

"Yeah, no, I got it. Quinn's all secretive and shit."

"And you can't talk about it with her either," she begged. "She-she's comfortable with it to an extent but certainly not comfortable enough to laugh and joke about it."

"Okay, okay, chill. I won't. I got it, Berry. Your secret's safe."

She breathed easier. "Okay. Thank you."

He took a step closer, sticking out his hand. "We're good?"

She shook his hand with a small smile. "Yes, we are."

They walked into the choir room and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief when Rachel sat down next to her without tears tracking down her face. "I guess it went well," she whispered.

Rachel nodded. "He apologized and we have buried the hatchet."

"Thank goodness."

She turned around to see how Puck was holding up, only to see him smirking in her direction. He waggled his eyebrows a little and Quinn's eyes widened in horror and understanding. She quickly turned back around. "You told him," she muttered from the corner of her mouth.

"It just kind of slipped out," Rachel whispered apologetically.

Quinn smoothed down the skirt of her dress, her movements jerky. "Well, I just _kind __of_ dislike you right now."

Rachel looked up at her with a pout.

* * *

><p>The next day Rachel was determined to put her and Quinn's plan into action. The road to Sectionals was about to be set once and for all their final year.<p>

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kurt asked as the two of them walked out of the food line with their trays. "I mean, this is going to possibly require you sharing and you know how you hate to share."

She huffed quietly. "I _do_ _not _mind sharing. I just don't settle for simply backing down so others can have the spotlight. But—this isn't just about spotlight. Mercedes would certainly be a powerhouse of talent that would boost our chances of winning. Even I can't carry this club alone. And plus…I-I miss Mercedes," she admitted quietly.

"I thought the two of you hated each other."

The corner of her lips lifted. "It's not hate, per se. It's simply creative differences—a butting of heads. What great divas don't occasionally butt heads or engage in verbal fisticuffs?" She turned to look at Kurt. "But…" her lips rubbed together nervously. "You and Mercedes were the first people to _ever_ invite me to your houses. If that isn't friendship, what is?"

Kurt's doubtful expression morphed into a smile. "Let's go get her then, shall we?"

They walked down the rows of tables to find Mercedes sitting alone.

Rachel stopped in front of her just as she looked up. "Good afternoon, Mercedes, I just came to—"

"What do you want?" she asked scathingly.

Her mouth clacked shut. Her eyes warily darted to Kurt and he nodded a little, taking a seat in front of Mercedes. "How's it going, girl?"

She hesitantly walked around Mercedes and sat in the seat beside her. "It's okay, I guess," Mercedes grumbled. "How've you been?"

"Fantastic! New Directions is looking good; isn't that right, Rachel?"

Mercedes turned to look at her and Rachel's mouth opened a little as if she was going to say something. But she just shut it with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes and nodded enthusiastically.

Mercedes dropped her fork and looked down at the table pensively. "What are the two of you doing here?" she asked quietly. "If it's just to pick on me about leaving then—"

"No, Mercedes, that's not it at all," Rachel finally chimed in. She touched her arm and Mercedes turned sharply, eyes flicking from the hand on her arm to dark brown eyes. Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat. "L-look, the fact of the matter is, we want to be good for Sectionals. And for Nationals."

Mercedes shrugged. "I heard you guys already had enough people."

"Yes, but we don't have _you_," Rachel said quietly. "You were a good asset to the team."

"How would you know?" she shot back. "I barely got to sing."

Rachel exhaled shakily. "And I'm not going to apologize for that."

Mercedes eyes widened before narrowing into slits. "Okay, we're done here."

"Let me finish," Rachel said, voice gaining strength. "I'm not apologizing for the fact that you don't get to sing because you never compete against me for solos."

"I tried that last year. I wanted the closing slot for our talent show."

"And you _got_ it, didn't you?" she challenged. "Did you not sing the closing number?"

"She sang the closing number," Kurt cut in. "Flawlessly."

Mercedes smiled sheepishly, ducking her head. "I guess I was pretty good."

"You were amazing," Rachel agreed quietly. "That's why I can't simply _give_ you anything without giving it my all because it would be an injustice to me, and…it would be an injustice to you. Mercedes, I—" she paused, unsure of how to continue. "I know that the two of us have been rivals from seemingly the very beginning but, I thought that we were at least friends."

"You kicked me out of the glee club," she deadpanned.

"You left," Rachel corrected. "You turned your back on us and I told you not to bother to come back, but maybe I was being hasty. Maybe we both were." Their eyes locked. "But I'm reaching out to you and saying that I want you to come back."

"We both do," Kurt said. "We miss you, honey."

Mercedes rubbed along her arm, lips twisted in thought. "I missed you guys, too," she said quietly. "That Sugar girl can't even begin to fathom how to hold a note!"

Rachel and Kurt giggled like school girls and it felt _so_ good to be able to gossip about the talent—or lack thereof—in Mckinley once more. "So, you'll rejoin?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"I want a solo," Mercedes instantly demanded.

"I already got swindled into giving Santana a solo," Rachel told her with an exaggerated eyeroll. "Don't ask. The point is, I have two left and I don't plan on just _giving _one away." A teasing smile touched her lips as she watched Mercedes's eyes narrow.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Her smile widened. "I'm saying what I've been saying from the very beginning. If you want my solo…take it."

* * *

><p>There was something so relaxing about stroking a brush against a canvas or crosshatching with a pencil against the rough surface of a piece of paper. It was relaxing, living in the abstract. There were no numbers such as the seven dollars and forty cents of minimum wage that she made an hour. There were no difficult problems to solve such as finding a solution to be with Rachel in New York that didn't end up burning her and their relationship out.<p>

Art was art. It was easy and it was the only thing in her life that didn't ask a lot of her.

And it had always been there for her even during the ugly times.

Repression was such an ugly thing.

As ugly as the pornographic caricatures that she used to draw of Rachel in the bathroom stalls. Or as ugly as the big nosed, moustache having picture she drew of her as she sat in the choir room junior year, torturing herself by listening to Rachel fawn over her latest boy crush. Even then she hadn't been able to help but draw hearts along the image as she tuned in and out of Rachel's spiel.

Art helped her express herself. Though Quinn couldn't outright tell Rachel how she had felt in the beginning, she could draw unflattering naked pictures of her because a part of Quinn was dying to see the real thing and she could draw hearts around an ugly caricature because she loved her but just _could__ not_ express those feelings at the time.

Now, as she stood, canvas in front of her, stroking line after line of green paint on her canvas, eyeing the picture just to the left of her of outside that she was painting, she was the most at peace she could ever be aside from being in Rachel's presence.

…When they weren't arguing.

The bell rang but Quinn was hardly in a rush to leave. It was the end of the day and she had her car to drive her home whenever she felt like it. Her teacher bid her farewell and Quinn adjusted her stance, tongue peeking out in concentration, brow furrowing and this was all so good.

"Quinn?"

She paused mid-stroke and looked up to find Rachel lingering in the doorway of the classroom. She gave her a small smile and that was as good as an invitation. Rachel walked in the classroom and over to Quinn, having long ago memorized her schedule and knew exactly where to find her when she wasn't at her locker. "Am I intruding?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, I was just working on this assignment."

"Can I see?" she asked as she walked closer. She allowed her eyes to trail down Quinn's frame, taking in the low ponytail that pulled her hair back, the paint stained smock she had on with paint brush in hand. She had on a dark grey sweater, the sleeves neatly rolled up to her elbow and a pair of old jeans that had paint stains grinded into the denim. And to top it all off, she seemed to be implementing her nose ring into her wardrobe again. Rachel swallowed thickly.

At Quinn's nod, she walked around the canvas to stand beside her. Her jaw dropped in surprise. "Quinn, this is—I knew you liked art, but—"

Quinn chuckled quietly, dipping her paintbrush into the jar of muddy colored water off to the side. "Thanks."

"This is outside of the school, correct?" Rachel asked distractedly. "The triangle of trees by the right wing, the large hill, the rows of flowers at the bottom. This is beautiful, Quinn." She looked up to Quinn as she was putting her brushes away. "You're quite talented."

She blushed a little because she had been called a _lot_ of things in her life but—talented? It was intriguing.

She grabbed her canvas and walked over to a corner of the classroom to put it away, dark eyes following her every movement. Rachel's eyes fell from ever growing hair to slim shoulders to the plane of her lower back to the swell of her ass, back up to the way she sauntered as she walked, her movements sleek and purposeful. Quinn turned around just as Rachel's eyes snapped to her own. "What?" she asked with a confused laugh as Rachel stared at her.

Rachel bit her lip, her hands clasping behind her shyly. "It's just—I've never seen this side of you before…"

Quinn walked back over, then, removing and folding her smock and stuffing it into her bag. "Do you like it?" A lock of hair fell over her eye as Rachel's own eyes trailed up and down.

She reached out and grabbed the front of Quinn's sweater to pull her closer. Her other hand reached up, smoothing the rogue strands of blonde hair from her face. "I like it," she said quietly. Her hand trailed up Quinn's sides and over slim shoulders to wind around her neck. Rachel rose on her tip toes, her breathing already becoming shallow as her lips brushed over Quinn's.

She felt slim arms encircle her waist as Quinn's lips slanted across hers. Tingles fanned out across her lips as Quinn kissed her deeply. Rachel tugged her closer, mashing their bodies together from breasts to hip. "I like these," she murmured against full lips, reaching down to snag a finger into Quinn's belt loop.

"You like tattered, faded jeans?" Quinn teased, rubbing her nose softly against Rachel's. The cold press of her nose ring sent a thrill through Rachel.

"On you?" she breathed. "Yes."

Quinn hummed against her lips and leaned in to kiss her again. She had never particularly enjoyed being complimented or ogled by anyone because any compliment always felt like a superficial one. Yet every time Rachel called her beautiful in such a way that encompassed _everything _about her, not just her looks, it always made her chest tighten. And now, when she said little things like this, it just made her feel sexy and never in her life had she felt _that._

Rachel kissed along her jaw, luxuriating in Quinn's soft hands and long fingers trekking up and down her sides almost absentmindedly. She tilted her head up and their lips met again. And it completely melted Rachel every single time.

"Rachel—"

"No," she mumbled, already knowing where this was headed.

Quinn sighed out a breathless laugh before attacking Rachel's lips again. "I have to be at work in two hours. And I have to get home, shower and eat before then."

"Don't go to work."

Her eyebrow lifted. "Are you trying to get me fired, Berry?"

"I'm going to miss you while you're at work," Rachel sighed, toying with tendrils of hair at the nape of Quinn's neck that had escaped her hair tie. She smiled at the small shiver that worked its way through her girlfriend's body. "Come over tonight?"

"I can't," she murmured apologetically. "I don't get off until ten, that's your bedtime, and I have a lot of homework."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Sleepover with Brittany and Santana."

Rachel frowned.

"Saturday," Quinn promised, leaning down to kiss her. "And," she added teasingly, "I may or may not call to say goodnight tonight."

She grinned, pulling back and grabbing Quinn's hand. "You should definitely call."

* * *

><p>Tomorrow came faster than she wanted.<p>

She stood on Brittany's doorstep, fist lifted, poised to knock on the door. But she didn't want to. She wanted to be home, with Rachel, anywhere else but here but if she didn't uphold her part of the deal she knew there was no way Santana was going to uphold hers. Part of her was angry at the fact that she had found herself here again.

The side of her fist pounded into the door a little harder than need be because she already knew this was going to be a long night and just wanted to get it over with.

The sound of footsteps bounding towards the door could be heard and Quinn could only guess it was Brittany. For someone so graceful, she could be very heavy footed when she wanted to be. The door swung open, Brittany smiling widely. "Hi, Quinn!"

Brittany leap outside in nothing but a white tank top and turquoise shorts that barely covered her ass, wrapping long arms around Quinn's shoulders and crushing her into a hug. "I'm so, so happy you came! San said you weren't, but I knew you were."

Guilt twisted in her gut against her will at how many times she had turned this offer down. "Yeah, well, glad I could come," she mumbled.

Brittany pulled back with a dim smile. "You aren't. But hopefully you will be. Lord Tubbington promised to let us use the TV tonight for movies and I told Santana to be nice."

She laughed through a grimace and Brittany walked her inside, bouncing into the living room. "She's here, Santana! You totally owe me kisses."

"Like I ever need a reason to kiss you," Quinn heard Santana mumble from the living room. She slowly walked forward, taking a deep breath until she was on the carpeted floors, looking to Brittany and Santana huddled up on the couch. Santana's eyebrow flicked up. "You came."

Quinn nodded curtly. "I did. I intended to hold up my end of the bargain and there are some things we need to discuss."

"Later," was Santana's flippant reply as she untangled herself from Brittany, walking over to Quinn. "This is a sleepover and we wanna have fun whether you _intended_ that to happen or not. You're not gonna spill your wet blanket over this, Q." She turned to Brittany. "Hand me that phone, will ya, B?"

Brittany picked up the cordless phone and chucked it over to Santana. It was caught in midair and Santana turned to Quinn with a crooked smile. "Pizza?"

She didn't wait for a response, walking past her and into the kitchen. Quinn turned as Santana walked over to the refrigerator and peeled off a magnet with a phone number on it. She licked her lips nervously, feeling completely out of control of the situation. Her eyes darted to the door, then back to Santana. She pushed a breath past her lips, turning around and walking back towards the living room. Her lips twisted as she looked to the couch Brittany was sitting on before deciding to sit on the couch cattycorner to it. Brittany hopped off the couch and walked over to sit beside her. "What movies do you want to watch, Q? We have _Mean __Girls_, _Avatar_, ooh, we have _Black__ Swan_!"

"I wanna watch _Black__ Swan_," Santana demanded as she walked back into the living room, phone balanced between her neck and shoulder. "Yeah, one pepperoni pizza." She pulled the phone away to look at Quinn. "You still like cheese?"

She almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity—as if her preference of cheese had somehow diminished in the months that she hadn't talked to them. "Yeah."

"One cheese. Alright. Okay, cool. Bye." She hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch formally occupied by Brittany. "Fifteen minutes."

Brittany grinned. "Awesome."

Santana grabbed a DVD from the endless pile on the coffee table and walked over to put it in. She turned back around, scrutinizing Quinn and Brittany on the couch before shrugging a little. Quinn kept her eyes forward as the couch dipped and instead of sitting on the other side of Brittany like she thought, Santana instead sat on _her _other side. It was so reminiscent of all their years of cheering that she couldn't help but relish slipping back into that role of complete control. Even if it was only for a few moments.

"Have you seen this movie before, Q?" Brittany asked as she scooted closer.

Santana stretched an arm out along the back of the couch and Quinn couldn't help but wonder if they were trying to seduce her back into their friendship. Her brow furrowed as her gaze darted from Santana to Brittany and back again. "No," she muttered. "I haven't."

"Then, I guess it's your lucky day," Santana chimed in with a modified voice that almost sounded good-humored.

"Okay, stop it," she breathed, voice sounding nothing like her own. Her head was pounding, blood rushing through her ears. She stood up from the couch and turned around to face them both. "I didn't come here for this."

Santana frowned. "You came here for a sleepover."

"I didn't come here for this to be like it always is!" she exclaimed, ears ringing. "I'm not going to sit on this couch and watch this movie, only for the two of you to flirt with me then run up the stairs to fool around halfway through and leave me down here alone when I turn down your offer."

"Hey, we aren't going to do that—"

She pointed a finger directly at Santana. "And I came here to tell you to back off of Rachel. She's never done anything to you, so why the fuck do you hate her so much?"

"We don't hate her," Santana defended. She folded her arms tightly across her chest. "I mean, sure, she's annoying. But who can really say they hate Berry?"

"Yeah, she's like a cute little woodland creature that's never learned about fashion so we have to teach her," Brittany said with a shrug. "Doesn't mean we hate her."

"I—okay," she exhaled harshly, feeling the back of her neck get hot in anger. "That's another thing that needs to stop. Comparing her to an animal as if that's funny."

Brittany wilted under her glare as Santana stood up quickly to put herself in-between the two of them. "Don't get upset with us because all of a sudden you've grown a conscience because Berry finally took you back!"

"Well, I am!" she shouted back. "She's human and you need to stop treating her like shit!"

"Says the girl that first started calling her Man-Hands, Treasure Trail, Ru-Paul and—hell, sexualize her some more, why don't you?"

Her eyes flashed in anger as all of her past transgressions were thrown back in her face. "I've stopped!" she screamed. "I don't do that anymore and I actually _care_ about her, so there's no way in hell I'm going to let you walk around insulting her or throwing slushies at her. And there's no way in _hell_ you're coming back to glee club if you think you're going to treat her like shit!"

Santana took a step forward but Brittany grabbed her arm, pulling her back as she stood up. "Q, we don't hate Rachel," she said softly as she cautiously walked towards Quinn.

Sharp eyes turned from Brittany to Santana, back to Brittany. "If you guys don't hate her then why did you plan to have her sleep with Finn, knowing she wouldn't be ready for something like that."

Brittany's eyes darted from Santana's to Quinn's nervously. "Because—"

"It was my idea," Santana interjected quietly.

"Of course," Quinn scoffed angrily.

"Look, I didn't do it because I hated Berry, alright?" she defended. She crossed her arms, shrugging a little. "I did it because I knew that was the only way I'd get under your skin."

"She could have had sex with him," Quinn said tersely.

"That's why I told you. I knew you wouldn't let her go through with it."

"You are…" she trailed off with a bitter laugh, shaking her head in frustration. "You are something else."

"Santana just wanted you back," Brittany said quietly. "We both did."

"There are other ways to do that," she bit out, trying not to let her ire for Santana leak into her conversation with Brittany.

"And we _tried_," Santana said emphatically. "First day of school we tried to talk to you and get you back on the Cheerios and be our friend again and you blew us off."

"Because I needed space! I blew everyone off!"

"You were being selfish!" Santana shouted, then. "You even blew Berry off and she didn't deserve that."

"Oh, you're her advocate now?" she asked sarcastically. "After you tried to pimp her off to Finn just so I would notice you existed!"

"I already told you I don't hate the girl! Berry is…she's Berry, okay?" she said, gesturing with her arms. "She's not cool but she's harmless."

Quinn's eyes narrowed. "Yet you harm her."

"Careful, Q," Santana taunted. "You're starting to sound a little hypocritical."

"Santana, shut the _fu_—"

The doorbell rang, followed by five rapid knocks to the door and everyone gave pause.

"Pizza's here!" Brittany shouted, skipping to the door.

Quinn released a ragged breath, running a hand through her hair. "This was a bad idea," she said to herself.

"It wasn't," Santana said firmly. "Look, I'm sorry about the whole Rachel and Finn thing—"

"And for throwing a slushie in her face," Quinn spat as Brittany walked into the living room.

"And for throwing a slushie in her fac—"

"And you're apologizing to her face on Monday."

Santana froze. "Are you out of your mind? I ain't apologizing to Ber—"

"You're apologizing," Quinn growled. "Or I'm leaving right now. And you can kiss your solo and your position in glee club goodbye."

"Just apologize, San," Brittany said quietly as she looked between the two of them.

Santana's gaze cut to Quinn. "Fine," she spat, turning away and ending the conversation there. She grabbed a plate from the table and shoved one into Quinn's hands. "Get some pizza, get your ass on the sofa, watch that movie and shut the fuck up."

Quinn tossed her a sharp look, grabbing a slice of cheese pizza and sinking into the couch. Santana sat beside her again instead of on the other side of Brittany and pressed play for _Black__ Swan_. They barely spoke the entire time. Quinn traded glances between her pizza and the TV screen, while Santana and Brittany did the same. She felt the uneasiness of her posture give way about halfway through the movie and sunk back against the couch when her tense shoulders became sore.

"This movie is hot," Brittany breathed beside her.

Santana made an affirming sound around a bite of pizza and Quinn rolled her eyes, knowing it was only a matter of time before they became too hot under the collar to bear and left her in the living room alone while they went upstairs.

Only, that didn't happen. Santana's legs fell open crudely as she sunk further into the couch and Brittany shifted to lie against the head of the couch, long legs draping over Quinn and Santana's lap.

"Think Mila Kunis is hot?" Santana whispered to her after a few minutes.

"I do!"

"I know you do, B. Brunette's your type." She nudged Quinn. "What about you? You'd do her?"

Quinn's lips twisted in thought. She didn't typically walk around rating girls or deciding if they were attractive enough to fuck. "I—maybe. I don't know," she said quickly.

Santana scoffed. "It's not like Berry is here to get offended."

"I just don't know, okay?"

"Well, _I__'__d_ hit it," Santana said proudly. "Threesome, Britts?"

Brittany grinned, leaning up enough to reach over Quinn and give Santana a high five.

Quinn just knew this was the moment when they would leave. They would go upstairs and leave her alone, just as they always left her out of their friendship. At least this time she would have enough resolve to walk out and drive home. And she could say on Monday that she had lived up to her part of the bargain and that Santana had to join and had to actually treat Rachel like a human being or she could keep playing second fiddle to a girl that couldn't even sing in Shelby's group.

But Brittany settled back against the couch and Santana did the same and suddenly they were back into the movie like nothing happened. Quinn looked to the both of them in befuddlement. Her phone vibrated in the pocket of her coat and just then she had realized that she hadn't even bothered to take it off when she arrived. She reached for it and Brittany and Santana both stirred, Brittany removing her legs and Santana tugging on her coat.

"Hot enough under that fucking wool, Q?" She pulled on her sleeve. "Take this off."

She shrugged out of her coat as she slid her phone unlock to read her text message. "You can put your legs back," she murmured absentmindedly to Brittany.

Her fingers glided along her phone to open the text message from Rachel.

_**Good night, Quinn. :) I love you.**_

A small smile flitted across her face as she read the message. Her brow furrowed and she looked to the top of her phone screen to confirm her suspicions.

_**You're supposed to already be asleep.**_

The reply was instantaneous.

_**I was thinking about you and couldn't sleep. I wish you were here.**_

Her smile morphed into a full blown grin now.

_**Well, try to get some sleep now. You'll see me tomorrow. And I love you, too. By the way, we should watch Black Swan together one day. It's kind of…good.**_

_**I have it on DVD. We can watch it one day.**_

Quinn rolled her eyes.

_**Of course you do. Anyway, go to bed. Love you.**_

_**I love you, too. :)**_

She reached behind her on the back of the couch and slid her phone back into the pocket of her coat when she saw the lights flicker on and Santana stop the movie. "It ended?" Quinn asked.

"You didn't know?" Santana shot back.

She shrugged, standing from the couch and stretching. Brittany grabbed the remote from Santana and turned to MTV. "Let's watch some videos!"

"Does MTV even show videos anymore?"

"MTV is that lameness, Britts. All they have is _Teen__ Mom._"

Quinn smiled a little sadly. That was Ronnie's favorite show.

"B, let's go to your room. All of us," she added when she saw Quinn's head dip.

Quinn looked up sharply.

"We can blast music until your parents complain and read through some magazines," Santana said.

Quinn's lips dared to lift into a half smile. "I don't know if the _Cosmo_ quiz of 'Do You Know When a Guy's Into You?' applies to any of us. At least right now." She tossed Brittany a smirk.

Santana scowled at the implication, but laughed and said, "Well, I got something called _The__ Teen __Lipstick__ Life _under Brittany's bed," she said proudly. "Interested?"

Quinn quirked an eyebrow. "How did you manage to get a teenage lesbian magazine in Lima, Ohio?"

"I've gots my sources," she said enigmatically. She walked towards the stairs with a smirk. "You guys coming, or not?"

Brittany latched onto Quinn's arm excitedly. "Come on, Quinn! If you're lucky, you'll get the copy with the naked woman inside!"

Quinn laughed quietly as she allowed Brittany to tug her upstairs to be a part of their friendship.

* * *

><p>"You're joking!"<p>

"I'm not."

"This isn't a prank?"

"No."

"So, you're serious?"

"Yes!" Quinn exclaimed. "She's going to apologize. And she won't do it again."

Rachel grinned goofily. She was so in love with this girl it was almost painful. She walked over to where Quinn was perched atop her bed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Her eyes pierced hazel deeply with their sincerity. "Thank you, Quinn."

"You deserve it," Quinn assured. "No one deserves to be treated like shit." She breathed in shakily. "And I'm sorry I—"

"Don't," Rachel said softly, toying with the short strands of hair along the back of her neck.

"Okay," she whispered. She cleared her throat.

Rachel pulled back with a small smile. She twisted where she stood and walked across the floor of her room towards her pink boombox.

Quinn watched smooth, tan legs flex as Rachel walked away. Her gaze traveled from socked feet, up slim calves, to flexed hamstrings as Rachel lifted onto the tips of her toes to operate her radio. Quinn's gaze slid over the scrap of purple shorts that barely covered her ass. She inhaled deeply.

Rachel turned back around as soft music began to filter through the room.

"Setting the mood, Berry?" Quinn teased.

She hummed quietly, walking back over to the bed and sitting down. "Come here."

Quinn watched her dubiously, but allowed Rachel to grab her hand and pull her along the bed. Rachel laid down and pulled Quinn with her until they were lying face to face. Her cheeks dimpled at Quinn's confused expression. "This is what I was thinking about the other day."

"What do you mean?"

"When I texted you and told you I couldn't sleep. It was because I wanted you beside me."

Quinn reached up and smoothed a lock of hair behind Rachel's ear. Her fingers trailed down her ear, towards her cheek and Rachel contentedly sighed against the palm of her hand. "I wish I could stay the night," Quinn whispered.

Rachel grinned. "If only my fathers didn't think you would ravish me in the night."

"If only your fathers were wrong," Quinn chuckled throatily.

Rachel licked her lips, shuffling closer. "You would?"

Quinn leaned closer until they were nose to nose. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased.

She groaned in frustration at the teasing, pulling back but a hand curled around her neck and pulled her closer.

Their lips met softly, melding together as if this was the perfect fit. Rachel's lower jaw dropped with a quiet whimper against full lips as Quinn's lips slid slowly across hers. She felt warmth envelop her whole body, heart hammering in her chest because this kiss was clearly meant to convey something of importance.

Quinn pulled back with a breathless whisper of, "Turn around."

Rachel didn't even ask why, just shifted onto her back and turned over onto her other side. She felt Quinn against her back instantly. A hand came up to smooth back her hair and a kiss was placed on her neck. The arm then slid down, the back of long fingers running along her arm softly. She shivered under the barely there touch. "What are you doing, Quinn?" she murmured tremulously. Quinn smiled at the effect she always seemed to have on her.

Rachel looked down as the palm of that hand rested flat across her stomach. The slight pressure felt warm and reassuring, holding promises of affection. Her abs bunched and twisted in anticipation as Quinn's thumb rubbed across her ribcage. She reached out, sliding a hand along the smooth expanse of Quinn's arm, up her hand and through the negative spaces of her fingers, weaving them with her own.

"This what you wanted?" Quinn murmured into her neck.

She sighed quietly with a nod. This was exactly what she had been wanting for so long now that want had turned into a need.

Quinn smiled and kissed along her neck before burying her face into her hair. She may not have been able to spend the night, but a half hour cuddle and maybe a little nap would do for now.

* * *

><p>"Can I speak to her?"<p>

"Quinn, it's late."

"She's not asleep. She never goes to sleep on time."

"I—"

"Please?"

"Hold on."

Quinn sighed thankfully at the rustling sound in the background.

"Helwo?"

Quinn chuckled. Her daughter sounded so much like Scooby-Doo sometimes. "Beth, hey, baby."

"Quinn!"

Quinn laughed quietly. "Hi! How are you?"

"Good!"

Her limited vocabulary never failed to charm Quinn. "That's good! I just called to tell you good night. And that I'll be seeing you again very soon."

"'Kay. Night, Quinn!"

"I love you very much."

"Love you!"

"Okay, now hang up the phone. Goodnight, baby."

The line clicked and just like it did every other time, the sound broke Quinn's heart in two. It was strange to simultaneously feel the warmth of hearing her daughter's voice and hearing Beth say she _loved _her and feeling the heartbreak that came whenever the line went dead.

She turned over with a sigh, clutching her pillow to her in search of the warmth that only Rachel's body brought.


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**R

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**This may or may not be the last chapter I post before Thanksgiving. Depends on how busy I am once I go home. If I don't post again, then everyone have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

* * *

><p>Trust was a very important thing to Rachel. Although, probably no one would know that from watching her day to day friendship progressions and general interactions with people. She trusted just about everyone despite the fact that Quinn had told her countless times that many people were not to be trusted. Herself included.<p>

And sure, Rachel could recognize the fact that Quinn could be a hurtful person. _No__ one _knew the levels of pain Quinn was able to inflict from simply using her words more than Rachel. But her trust of Quinn didn't stem from that, of course. Her trust of Quinn stemmed from the remorse Quinn felt in the past and to this very day. It was genuine and Rachel had never seen such regret on someone's face as she did every time Quinn opened her mouth to vocalize an apology—the fact that she actually _apologized._ No one ever apologized to Rachel. No one but Quinn.

Maybe she was a masochist. Because she knew that Quinn often times had to learn lessons the hard way that involved hurting herself and sometimes those around her. But even still, Rachel _wanted_ her. And she didn't want her simply because she had hopes of saving her; she wanted her because there was a side of Quinn Fabray that no one else got to see—a side that Rachel wanted all to herself. She wanted her because Quinn was warm and kind and protective and nurturing and her list could _go __on._

She wasn't stupid. She knew that when you date Quinn Fabray you might as well cut your heart open because it was going to bleed and hurt a lot more than if you were dating your average run of the mill person. But if the person was strong enough, was able to endure enough, then eventually the pain would stop. Quinn would stop self-destructing and throwing out tests that were seemingly impossible to pass and just allow herself to finally be loved.

Rachel sometimes amusedly thought of Quinn as a conquest. And if it was anything Rachel Berry was good at, it was winning. And this was the ultimate prize. This was Quinn, the physical embodiment of beauty, the girl that she could hold an intelligent conversation with, the girl that her body reacted to in ways that taught her that her own hand would never again be enough once she actually got the chance to make love to her.

There were times last year in the beginning when Quinn would look at her with the most lost expression and just ask of her, _why __do__ you __love __me?__—_as if she was undeserving of love. And Rachel would break and ache and choke out the only answer she could—_everybody__ deserves __to __be__ loved. _If there was one person in her life Rachel thought deserving of love, it was Quinn.

She dropped her pen onto her bed and reread her diary entry, kicking her legs back and forth. She rolled her eyes a little because she sounded like a melodramatic teenager but—wasn't she? She closed her diary and slid over to the side of the bed to slide it under, then hopped off the other side of the bed and scampered downstairs.

"Tomorrow's the big day!" she greeted as her foot hit the last stair. Leroy twisted around on the couch to see her and Hiram lifted his head from his husband's arm to get a good look at her.

"That it is," Leroy agreed. "Ready?"

"Of course, she's ready!" Hiram cajoled. "My baby's a star."

Rachel curtsied with a wide smile as she walked into the living room to sit on the couch with her fathers. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted. "Everyone's going to be there. Quinn is going to be there…"

They shared a smile at their daughter's bashfulness. "I'm sure Quinn will love your performance, honey."

"She's already been to some of your rehearsals," Hiram soothed.

She nodded, muttering an agreement before sinking back into the sofa. She was nervous about Shelby being there too because she wondered what Shelby would think. Had Shelby's brief coaching in the beginning paid off? Or was Rachel's Maria never going to compare to her own mother's—the woman that had played her eighteen times? Would it come close, or would it pale in comparison? She was pretty anxious to hear Shelby's thoughts.

She broke out of her thoughts before they could go any further, eyes flicking to the TV. "_Scrubs_?"

"Don't scoff like that," Hiram defended. "This is a very educational program."

Rachel hummed noncommittally and rested her head against Hiram's arm, immersing herself into the program.

"How's school?" he murmured.

She grinned. "Our glee club is back intact all thanks to mine and Quinn's joint effort."

Leroy's head popped up from around Hiram. "You managed to get your two members back from Shelby?"

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would have been. Quinn took care of Santana and I took care of Mercedes."

"And Santana won't be throwing slushies at you anymore, right?" Leroy asked tightly, remembering how Rachel came home one day wearing Quinn's clothes.

Rachel bit back a smile because even though she had been slushied that day, her father came out of it with a new found respect for Quinn. "Quinn promised me Santana wouldn't be throwing slushies at me anymore, daddy."

He nodded curtly before adding, "Nice of you to take down Shelby's club."

"Leroy, don't encourage this behavior," Hiram chastised.

He laughed. "What? I'm just saying I'm proud of my baby girl." Leroy smiled over at Rachel. "I hope you kick butt at Sectionals, sweetheart."

Her head bobbed up and down in determination. "That's exactly what I intend to do."

The doorbell rang and not a second later was Rachel off the couch. "I'll get it!"

"I bet you will," Leroy called. He turned to Hiram, asking in a hushed tone, "Do you think we should be protecting her more on this?"

"On what?"

"You know, this Quinn thing. She already broke her heart once. And I get that she's a good kid with a troubled home life and everything, but I keep going back and forth on it."

Hiram patted the hand on his shoulder sympathetically. "Honey, matters of the heart is one of the few things parents can't protect their children from. All we can do is offer her vegan icecream if it happens again."

"It won't," Rachel said quietly.

Leroy and Hiram both looked up to find that their daughter hadn't quite left yet. Leroy cleared his throat. "Rach, I was just—"

"If there's one thing I know about Quinn, it's that she doesn't repeat the same mistake twice," Rachel said firmly. "She won't do this to me again."

The knocking became a smidge more insistent to the trained ear—Rachel—and she took off towards the door again. She rolled her shoulders back, filing what she and her parents were talking about into the back of her mind for another day because if Quinn caught wind of it she would spiral into guilt, leave and probably wouldn't come back for a couple of weeks.

She swung the door open and flung herself into Quinn's arms without pretense. And as always, she was caught effortlessly with a breathless laugh from her girlfriend. "Hi, Rachel."

She grinned back, pulling Quinn into the house. She intertwined their fingers and pulled her along.

"Hi, Leroy and Hiram," Quinn said politely as they bypassed the two men and up the stairs.

"Hi, Quinn," Leroy called back amusedly. Whenever Quinn came over he and Hiram only got to see her for literally seconds before Rachel was pulling her away. "Leave that door open, Rachel!"

"Yes, daddy!"

The order was ignored but that was nothing new.

Quinn took her coat off and Rachel took in her McDonald's uniform amusedly. "Stop looking at me," Quinn grumbled.

She smiled, walking closer. "I like it," she assured. Her fingers grabbed at the namtag on Quinn's black collared shirt above her breast and deftly undid the latch. Quinn watched in bemusement as Rachel meticulously placed the nametag on her own light blue tank top. "You're Quinn Fabray?" Quinn asked dubiously.

Rachel giggled quietly. "Maybe if I frowned more."

"Ass," she scoffed. She walked over to Rachel's chair, placing her coat on the back of it. "Do you mind if I wash my hair here?" Her nose turned up. "It smells like grease and five day old mystery meat."

Rachel cringed. "Of course." She walked over to a row of shelves near the corner of her room and grabbed a towel. "Follow me." They walked to the bathroom adjoining her room. Rachel handed Quinn the towel with a grin. "I have your shampoo here."

Quinn couldn't help but smile back. "Is it even still any good?"

"I bought a new bottle."

That confession stunned Quinn completely into silence. Unnerved, Rachel turned around to find Quinn staring at her, expression unreadable. Her mouth opened and closed in panic. "I—have I said too much? Is this creepy? I'm sorry if—"

Nothing shut her up but the soft press of lips against her own. Rachel sighed quietly against Quinn's lips, dropping the bottle of shampoo onto the floor and cupping her cheeks in her hands. Quinn wrapped one arm around her, the other arm stroking along her ribcage, just below her breast. She pulled back with a smile. "You haven't said too much, this isn't creepy, and don't you dare apologize. Thank you."

Rachel inhaled deeply, tongue flicking out over her lips. "Thank you, Quinn," she said quietly. If she had a dollar for all the times she had been called creepy. But it seemed like Quinn didn't think this was creepy of her.

She grinned, reaching down to swat Rachel across the ass, causing a yelp to resonate in the bathroom and echo off the walls. "Now get out of here so I can wash my hair."

"Rude," Rachel muttered. She ducked her head, walking past her but Quinn didn't miss the blush marring her cheeks.

She laughed quietly to herself, picking up the shampoo from the floor and turning the water on in the tub.

On the other side of the bathroom door, Rachel was willing the blush to leave her cheeks. Quinn very rarely did _that _and the novelty was always enough for Rachel to blush afterwards. It oddly enough felt good and always lead her to think of other things…

She cleared her throat and decided to do something productive aside from thinking of sex for the next ten minutes only for Quinn to come back and find her a quivering mess on her bed. Instead, she sat down at her desk, turned her desk lamp on, and opened up her script to make sure she knew her lines once and for all.

She couldn't wait to put on a performance tomorrow for everyone to see. Her fathers, Quinn…Shelby. Everyone was going to be there to see _her_, to relish in _her_ talents and achievements and it was going to feel wonderful. All that practice, all that hard work, all that bickering with Blaine and even the directors—it was all going to pay off in a big way.

It was a small taste of Broadway and Rachel was going to eat this opportunity up. A copy of the play being filmed by her fathers was definitely going in her NYADA application.

She couldn't wait to see the shocked look on Shelby's face when she saw that Rachel was good at this, great even. Perfect. Possibly a better Maria than Shelby herself was.

The door to her bathroom opened and she swiveled around in her chair to see Quinn standing in nothing but a black lace bra and her khakis. Her hair clung to her forehead and neck, dripping rivulets of water over her shoulders and onto her chest. Rachel knew she was a goner by the tight swallow of her throat and her lack of reprimand to Quinn about dripping water onto her carpet.

"Sorry about your carpet," Quinn said lowly. She grinned sheepishly. "Accidently dropped the towel in the tub when the water was running."

Rachel slowly stood, completely dumbfounded. On one hand, she really should have been finding Quinn another towel to dry her hair because it was December and flu and pneumonia season. But on the other hand…

"It's alright," she answered thickly, walking closer.

The look on her face was instantly recognizable and as soon as an arm curled around her waist Quinn cupped Rachel's cheeks and brought her into a firm kiss. Rachel moaned on contact and Quinn used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue inside. She curled around the roof of her mouth and Rachel's eyes clenched shut as tingles fanned out across her body. Her fingers flexed absentmindedly against the soft flesh of Quinn's hips. Then her brain kick-started and she actually remembered where her hands _were_. She immediately released the grip she had on Quinn's hipbones and walked her fingers higher, reveling in the way muscles rippled and quivered under her touch. Her palm flattened to run across a full lace cup and Quinn gasped quietly, arching into the touch. Rachel ran her hand across it again and felt the hard press of a nipple against her palm as Quinn moaned, her tongue still stroking against Rachel's.

Rachel pulled back, her eyes blazing with an intensity that Quinn too possessed when her eyes finally opened. She stepped back, having enough mental faculty to lock the door. Her eyes met Quinn's in a silent plea of _please__ don__'__t__ mention__ my __fathers_—to ensure the mood wasn't ruined—as she twisted the lock on the door.

Then she walked back over, grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bed. Quinn let out a breathless laugh that sounded choked and throaty due to arousal. "You're going to let me lie on your bed with wet hair?"

That made her pause. But a solution fast approached and she walked over to the shelves, grabbed a towel and placed it at the head of her bed. She flashed a tremulous smile. "Better."

Quinn was on the bed a moment later and Rachel took her time climbing on, marveling at the beauty below her. She straddled her easily, the press of Quinn's zipper hitting just off angle in a way that told her if it hit _on _angle it would completely destroy her.

Quinn reached up, softly stroking tendrils of dark, curled hair. She smiled when Rachel leaned lower until she was cupping her cheek. And lower still until their lips met softly, languidly sliding along each other. Rachel groaned when Quinn kissed her deeply, her tongue delving back as far as it could go. She kissed her like she owned her and the thought alone made Rachel light headed. Her hand trekked up the smooth expanse of Quinn's stomach again until she was cupping her right breast in her hand. She squeezed firmly, Quinn's back arching with a loud moan and Rachel's fingers slipped easily under the cup of her bra. She thumbed her nipple expertly, feeling the press of hips undulating below her.

Quinn threw her head back when she felt Rachel lower the cup of her bra. She knew it was coming, could feel her brain already shutting off and her body gearing up. Warm lips closed around her nipple and her eyes slammed shut as Rachel's name tumbled from her lips.

Rachel smirked against the pebbled flesh and took it into her mouth again, tongue laving across it. Quinn's hips jutted out once more and Rachel nearly toppled over when the zipper came in direct contact with white cotton panties just over her clit. "Quinn," she whimpered.

Her mouth curved into a devious grin as she reached down and grabbed a hold of Rachel's hips. She didn't move, fingers flexing as if asking permission. Rachel pulled back to look down at her. "I want to keep going," she said softly, sliding herself against the zipper of Quinn's pants. Her knees spread apart to lower her further and she moaned quietly. Her head sagged forward until she was resting against Quinn's ear, panting bursts of hot breath and whimpers against her skin. "I've thought about this," she breathed into a blushing red ear as Quinn gripped her hips harder, helping her grind more fluidly.

Quinn let out a breathless laugh, gripping Rachel's ass. "You've thought about riding my zipper?" she couldn't help but ask. Her hands kneaded the taut flesh and Rachel jerked against her with a throaty moan.

"Now's not the time to be difficult," she whined in her ear.

She placed a placating kiss against her cheek. "I've thought about this, too," she admitted in an airy voice. "You coming for me again."

Slim hips jerked harder against the zipper working between her legs and Quinn tightened her grip, slamming her down more forcefully. "_Fuck_," Rachel cried out softly, her clit sliding more firmly against Quinn's pants. She knew she was soaked, knew there was going to probably be a stain on Quinn's pants when this was over and it only served to make her ride even harder. "I want to come, Quinn."

"Then come," she whispered. She brought one hand up from Rachel's hips to slide it under her tank top, cupping her breast and tugging on her nipple nonstop.

"_Yes_," Rachel hissed quietly, back arching into Quinn's touch. Her eyes clenched shut as tingles turned into an inferno that started low in her belly and fanned out until she was pulled taut, hovering over Quinn while shudders wracked her body and soft whimpers left her mouth. "Quinn," she murmured softly when she sagged against the body beneath her. She could feel Quinn's body, tense and rigid with frustration below her.

Rachel could barely lift her head from Quinn's collarbone as her hand slid down to the waistband of her pants. She had the button undone and the zipper pulled down before Quinn had the chance to reach out and stop her, fingers curling around her wrist. "What are you—"

"You haven't come yet," Rachel said simply, her head popping up to look down at Quinn with dark, warm eyes. "Just—let me—" Her hand slipped inside and immediately all she felt was _warmth._

"Not inside," Quinn gritted out. "You said you weren't ready—"

"Okay," she reassured softly. She slid down until she could feel the definition of flushed lips through lace panties against her fingers. Rachel moaned quietly as Quinn's head tipped back, a quiet hiss breathed past her lips. The dual assault of how wet Quinn was through the fabric and her own arousal from their earlier activities coating the back of her hand through Quinn's pants made Rachel see stars. She rolled off of her and onto her side and those hips followed her every move until they were lying side by side, face to face so Rachel could more clearly see what she was doing to her. Quinn's face was flushed from her cheeks down to her chest, damp hair still clinging to her forehead and her neck as her hips kept undulating into the hand that rubbed her softly, slowly.

Her touch was tentative, explorative—a touch of practiced and clumsy in a way that told Quinn that Rachel had done this to herself enough times but never to anyone else. She had thought about this so many times in the past but her fantasies did not compare to the real thing. The fact that she was Rachel's first, Rachel's _only_…

"You are so beautiful, Quinn," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn whined in the back of her throat, those hips chasing Rachel's hand with more force. "Harder," she begged.

Rachel smiled sweetly as she applied more pressure, watching dark blonde eyebrows knit together and Rachel would have given anything to be inside of her in this moment. Quinn's jaw unhinged with a long moan. "Rachel," she whispered, feeling herself clench around nothing but air. "_Rachel_."

Rachel watched in awe as Quinn's head fell forward, their foreheads connecting with a force just shy of painful as hips slammed into her palm and stilled. Quinn bit her lip with enough force to hurt as tremors wracked throughout her body. She couldn't have felt more naked even though she was nearly fully clothed.

When awareness came back to her, Rachel was rubbing her back softly, murmuring reassuring words to get her to calm down. She felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes and she didn't even know _why_, just buried her face in Rachel's neck until they stopped.

"I love you," she said quietly, slinging an arm around Rachel and clutching her closely.

Rachel placed a kiss against damp hair, rubbing soothing circles along Quinn's back. "And I love you, Quinn." She reached up to comb her fingers through blonde hair made dark because of how wet it was. "I can't let you go home with wet hair," she said quietly once Quinn's breathing evened out. "We can dry it and curl it whenever you feel up to it."

Quinn nodded but made no effort to move, just clung to Rachel tightly.

* * *

><p>Quinn stood by the door, buttoning up her black pea coat. "I'll see you later, mom. Don't wait up."<p>

"Wait!"

Quinn rolled her eyes and turned around just as Judy was walking towards her. "Where are you going?"

"To the play," she replied dryly. "I've told you about it before. And I told you about an hour ago that I'd be leaving soon to go to it."

Judy came to a stop in front of her. "Oh! Well…I'll just go with you." She spun on her heel and walked through the hallway and towards the stairs, Quinn following her, befuddled.

"What do you mean, you'll go with me?"

"I mean, give me a second to get my coat and I'll accompany you to the play."

They reached Judy's room and Quinn hung back by the doorway, face darkened in confusion. "Why are you doing this?" she asked quietly.

Judy sighed, grabbing her coat and walking toward Quinn. She reached out tentatively, grasping her daughter's chin to make her look up. "I'm trying to make up for lost time," she said nervously. "And for the time I'll never get because you're going off to college. Your sister never came back and…maybe you won't either."

Quinn's eyebrows knitted together. "How do you know I'm even going anywhere?"

She smiled. "Because you're far too smart to let yourself end up here."

"But you said—"

"I've said a lot of things that have been wrong. One of them was putting a limit on you, Quinn." Her gaze dipped in shame and she took a deep breath before meeting Quinn's gaze again. "I realize now that your opportunities are limitless. I don't put limits on you anymore, Quinn. So, don't put limits on yourself." She patted her cheek softly, before taking a step back and clearing her throat. "Let's go to this play now, shall we?"

Judy moved to walk around her but Quinn stopped her. The next thing she felt was slim arms wrapping tightly around her neck. Her eyes stung; it had been years since she felt Quinn hug her and she savored every second of it.

Quinn felt her heart pound all around her chest and couldn't even hear her own hoarse voice but needed to get these words out. "Thank you, mom," she whispered.

* * *

><p>Rachel was amazing.<p>

But it was of no surprise to anyone. Leroy and Hiram flipped flopped between who would hold the camera and who would cry when the two men became emotional at different parts of the play. When they found each other crying at the same time, they gave the camera to Quinn, whom sat beside them on the first row. Judy sat beside Quinn, her gaze flitting between the program and the actors on stage. "That Rachel Berry girl is good," she had murmured to Quinn a few times.

Leroy and Hiram had heard her at least once and leaned over Quinn to proudly declare, "That's our daughter."

Quinn sank back in her seat, unsure if she should tell Judy why Leroy and Hiram's daughter was of importance to her or not. The play ended despite the fact that she hadn't come to a conclusion and she stood up along with her mother, Hiram and Leroy, and everyone else, clapping loudly, smiling from ear to ear when Rachel's gaze met her own. She felt a surge of adrenaline mix with the pride she felt for her girlfriend churn warmly in her heart. Was this what it would be like to follow Rachel to New York and to sit in reserved seats like the one she had now on first row, watching her girlfriend perform with that same swell of pride in her chest?

"She was so amazing," Hiram sobbed and Quinn nodded her head as he collapsed against her shoulder.

"She was really great," she agreed, rubbing his back. Her gaze couldn't help but flicker around, looking for Shelby. She couldn't see her and doubted if she was even there.

Rachel walked out onstage and took a bow. Several. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding away and she could swear she could hear it in her ears. She looked across and found Blaine smiling widely. She reached out, grabbed his hand, and together they bowed deeply to the standing crowd that refused to stop cheering.

"This is just the beginning," she said quietly to herself. She looked to her fathers sobbing in the first row, to Quinn smiling up at her and her gaze surprisingly landed on Judy. _That_ was certainly unexpected. She bowed again and looked up to find Shelby. Her gaze dipped over the auditorium from the front to the back and didn't find her. Finally, she looked to the left, squinting and found her standing along a wall, dark hair falling across her shoulders, arms folded tightly looking forward. Rachel couldn't tell if she was smiling or not.

When the clapping died down, Rachel clutched her microphone tightly and brought it to her mouth. "I would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight to see my debut. And Blaine's," she added belatedly. "There is actually a reception if you take the right exit and make a left. There are refreshments there should you want any. For the last time, I am Rachel Barbra Berry and I hope you have enjoyed McKinley High's production of _West__ Side__ Story_. Have a good night and drive safely!"

She bowed once more before walking to the side of the stage and stepping down, giving her microphone to a stagehand.

Quinn, Leroy, Hiram, and Judy all walked towards Rachel with smiles on their faces. Quinn slowed to allow Leroy and Hiram time with their daughter. She clasped her hands behind her back, watching Rachel smile at her endearingly before her attention was swept up in her fathers. Hiram began blubbering again and Rachel reached out to hold him as she relished in the compliments Leroy gave her.

Eventually, she handed Hiram over to Leroy and took a step back to walk over to Quinn. "How did you like it?" she asked nervously.

Quinn smiled, pulling her hands out from behind her to reveal a bouquet of flowers. "Do these answer your question?"

Rachel squealed giddily because this was _so _how she envisioned her life in five plus years during her first production of _anything_—Quinn bringing her flowers. She grabbed them gingerly, bringing them to her face to sniff just as she did in her fantasies. "These are lovely, Quinn." She reached out with her free hand to wrap her arm around Quinn.

"You were amazing," Quinn murmured, wrapping her arms around her.

Rachel sighed in relief against her shoulder. "I was nervous."

"I couldn't even tell."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Quinnie, would you mind introducing me to your friend?"

Rachel felt Quinn tense in her arms and squeezed her once in reassurance before backing away. She turned to Judy with a warm smile. "Hi…Mrs. Fabray—"

Judy waved her off. "You can just call me Judy."

Rachel smiled wider. "Judy. My name is Rachel Berry."

Alert eyes darted to where Quinn was staring at Rachel intently. Her gaze slid back to Rachel in understanding, remembering the hug they just shared and how Quinn had been talking about this play for a while now. Not to mention the fact that over a month ago Quinn had told her she was going over a 'friend's' house, and nearly four months ago, told her she was gay. "Rachel," she said quietly when everything clicked into place, "it's such a pleasure to meet you."

Her words seemed heavy and confused Rachel. She only grew more confused when Judy wrapped her in a warm hug. "You take care of my Quinn for me."

Rachel's eyes widened in understanding and she could only nod against Judy's shoulder.

Judy pulled back, eyes shimmering as she smiled at Quinn. "Can you show me where the refreshments are?"

Quinn nodded, looking to Rachel. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, of course. I just have to—I'll be there in a minute. Would you mind escorting my fathers, as well?" she rushed out.

Leroy and Hiram walked over and Quinn shot her one more look before herding everyone along and out of the auditorium.

Rachel took a deep breath and turned around to find Shelby.

The auditorium was clearing out and Rachel looked around, searching every nook and cranny. She looked towards the left along the wall where Shelby originally was and found nothing. Her chest heaved, feeling like someone had dropped an elephant on it and tears sprang to her eyes without warning because she knew what this meant.

Shelby was gone.

She had abandoned her.

Again.

She didn't know why she was crying, why she was even surprised. This was Shelby 101. Come into her life, get her hopes up and somehow crush them without apology. She didn't know why she could even still feel pain when things like this happened but she did. Her limbs felt heavy and her arms kept coming up as if threatening to wrap around her.

When she felt arms encircle her, she thought they were her own until she looked down and saw long pale arms. Her eyes clenched shut in embarrassment; she couldn't bear to face Quinn now. A sob crawled from her throat and those arms flexed around her until Quinn was pulling her to turn around and face her. She looked blurry to Rachel's eyes and she blinked away tears that ended up falling down her face. "S-she left," Rachel whispered. "She didn't even wait o-or try to speak to me after it was over; she just _left_."

"I'm sorry," Quinn murmured, cradling the back of her head and guiding her to rest on her shoulder. Rachel buried her face there, embarrassed to be crying on _her _day; this was supposed to be about her and of course Shelby didn't even give her this one shining moment.

"She didn't even tell me how I did," she sobbed.

"You were amazing," Quinn said firmly. "Whether Shelby tells you or a whole crowd of people standing and clapping tell you—you were amazing."

She nodded against her shoulder, trying to let those words sink in and forget about the fact that her own mother couldn't be bothered to congratulate her on her first performance on stage.

"And it's her loss that she missed out," Quinn continued, an edge creeping into her voice. "She won't get the chance to be there when you're on Broadway in New York and she's still at McKinley teaching."

Rachel pulled back to look at her. Quinn watched tears glisten on her eyelashes as those big eyes looked up at her. "Will you be there?"

Quinn swallowed heavily against the lump in her throat. "I'll be there," she said quietly.

It wasn't really a promise she could keep quite yet and subsequently, Rachel didn't make her promise. She wiped at her eyes some more with a small smile. "Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled faintly at Rachel and pulled her closer. Tomorrow was going to be the day she asked Rachel to accompany her to Shelby's house to meet Beth, but it seemed like the wrong time. Instead, she bit her tongue, holding Rachel tighter and shushing her tears.

She looked up in time to find Leroy, Hiram, and Judy walking towards her. "What's wrong?"

Rachel pulled away from Quinn and collapsed into Leroy's arms. "She's gone, daddy," she cried, a fresh wave of tears coming.

He knew who she was talking about immediately and his eyes scanned the crowd in search of Shelby. Hiram walked closer and ran a soothing hand down her back. "It's Shelby's loss, honey."

"That's exactly what I said," Quinn agreed.

Judy bit her lip in uncertainty, walking closer to Quinn. "Who's Shelby?" she muttered.

"Rachel's mother," Quinn whispered.

Her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, dear," she lamented. She walked towards Rachel, tentatively touching a hand to her shoulder. "Rachel, I—you were lovely tonight. And you listen to me, as a woman of experience I can tell you that…Shelby will regret this all one day."

Quinn felt her chest tighten at her mother's words, knowing she was speaking from experience. She couldn't help thinking about Beth and all the things she was going to regret later in life. Their eyes met and Judy offered a sad smile, heavy with her own regret and apology. She turned back to Rachel and gently pried her away from Leroy. "Now stop that crying," she gently chastised, grabbing her chin softly and forcing her to look at her. "Pretty girls shouldn't cry."

Quinn laughed quietly at the old adage her mother had told her and her sister to get them to stop crying when they were younger.

"Tell her, Quinn. She's pretty and shouldn't be crying. It causes unsightly rings around the eyes."

Her laughter dried up and she nearly swallowed her tongue at her mother's command. Things certainly were weird tonight. She took a deep breath, meeting Rachel's gaze evenly. "You're pretty," she said with a small smile. "And you shouldn't be crying." She chose to omit the last part, rolling her eyes a little.

Rachel let out a watery giggle as Judy bent to wipe her tears away. "I think a nice celebratory dinner would bring everyone's spirits up. What do you say, Quinn?"

She couldn't help but nod, eyes wide in surprise and disbelief at her mother. A part of her wondered if Judy had dipped into her wine cellar before they left. "I think that's a great idea."

"Then it's settled. Come on, Leroy and Hiram; let's go celebrate that daughter of yours."

"I think that's a fine idea," Hiram said proudly.

Leroy leaned over to hug Judy in thanks. "We owe you one," he whispered.

When he pulled back, Judy was surprised to find herself wrapped up in a hug from her daughter _again_. "Twice in one day," she teased. "I'm beginning to think you like me, Quinn."

Quinn just pulled back with a smile, not trusting herself to speak. She felt a hand curl around her own and looked down to find Rachel holding her hand. Her eyes darted to Judy whom seemed to be pointedly looking away, a small smile on her face.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**I have not had the chance to proofread this, so…let's all pretend any and all spag errors aren't there.

* * *

><p>Rachel wasn't particularly good at avoiding someone or giving people the cold shoulder. When a problem arose she had always faced it head on. That was until <em>this<em> problem. Shelby. She had tried to face her head on in the past and it was the equivalent of running head first into a brick wall—there was a lot of pain after and the only lesson learned was to not do it again. So, she avoided Shelby for now. She didn't go down the hallway leading to Shelby's office and walked the other way whenever she saw Shelby approaching. It was foolproof, really. After the faux pas that occurred after the play last weekend, Rachel could only surmise that cutting Shelby out of her life for good was her only option. Her fathers—particularly Leroy—were more than happy to back her up on this new endeavor to simply endure the least amount of pain possible in life. She didn't deserve it and refused to allow the one that birthed her to be the one to cause it.

"Hey, Rachel," a solemn voice behind her spoke.

She cursed herself for not retrieving her books from her locker faster and ripped them out, slamming the door behind her. She turned around to unsurprisingly find Shelby there looking pensive and a smidge remorseful under all of her pride and really, it was a look Rachel was tired of seeing. Her arms tightened around her books as she clutched them to her chest. The warning bell rang and Rachel's eyes dropped from Shelby, walking away without speaking a word.

"Rachel, wait."

She heard footsteps behind her and picked up her pace. "That was the warning bell, Shelby, and although you're relatively new here I would hope you at least know what that signifies."

Shelby's heeled shoes clacked louder against the floor and Rachel took an odd thrill in knowing she had struck a nerve. It was unsettling because she wasn't that girl—the girl that took perverse pleasure in provoking others. At least, she hadn't been that girl in a while—and to a much lesser degree. She hadn't been that girl since stealing Quinn Fabray's boyfriend was less about an attraction to Finn and more about the conflicting needs to both get Quinn to notice her and get Quinn back for all of the hurtful nicknames she had called her. She wasn't _that _insecure girl anymore but she couldn't help the small, sad kick she got out of knowing that Shelby wasn't as impenetrable as she acted like she was.

"I can write you a pass," Shelby told her, reaching out and grabbing her bicep.

Rachel jerked away, turning around to face her in the empty hallway. "I am not talking to you," she hissed angrily.

Shelby took a deep breath, holding her hands up in placation. "I know you're upset about the fact that I left after your play, but—"

"No _but_," Rachel exclaimed. "You don't get a _but_; your entire existence while dealing with me has been nothing but a _but_."

Her gaze darted guiltily around the hallway. "How about we go into my office and—"

"No," Rachel said firmly. "We can settle this here. Tell me why you left so abruptly after my performance without so much as a, 'good job, Rachel. I'm really proud to have you as a daughter.' O-or—or _something_." She choked out the last of her words in a tremulous voice of emotion and—no. _No._ She would not, _could__ not_ cry again. And in front of the cause of her heartache of all people.

"Oh, honey, don't cry," Shelby said softly.

"You don't get to coddle me like I'm your child," Rachel said coldly.

Shelby visibly recoiled, her face losing all expression. "Alright, Rachel, if that's the way you want it, then by all means. And to answer your question: I walked out afterwards because I didn't want to deal with your fathers."

"_Deal _with my fathers?" she scoffed in a watery voice, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. "You walked out at the end of my play without saying a word to me because you were too scared to even confront my parents?"

Shelby didn't say anything, just looked down at her with the same unreadable expression that Rachel normally got from Quinn when she didn't feel like opening up and _why_ was she starting to draw parallels between her girlfriend and Shelby?

"That's not an excuse," she said quietly.

"I didn't say it was a valid one," Shelby muttered. Her body was tense with indecision and Rachel visibly deflated, taking a step back. "For what it's worth, you were absolutely phenomenal."

Rachel almost smiled, walking down the hallway as the late bell rang. "If only those words were worth anything anymore."

She held her shoulders high for as long as she could until she was around the corner. Then they drooped with despair as she leaned along the wall and let whatever tears she even had left fall freely.

* * *

><p>"Would you hate me if I never went with you to go see Beth?" Rachel asked quietly.<p>

Quinn looked up from her book, swiveling around from her girlfriend's desk to look at her on the bed. "Of course not; how could I ever hate you?"

A hand flew up in muted frustration. "I just—I…I want to see her, Quinn, I _do_."

"I understand," she said carefully, standing up from the wooden chair. She walked toward the edge of the bed and sat down, looking towards the head of the bed at Rachel. "You and Shelby are going through a difficult time. I get that."

"But I don't think it's a difficult time," Rachel said vehemently. "I think this…this may be it."

Quinn exhaled harshly in surprise. Rachel wasn't the type to cut someone out of her life for good. Quinn was a prime example of that. Rachel was the type to either maintain whatever relationship she had with a person or work to make it better. She never cut people off. Yet here they were. "If you think that's best." She scooted further along the bed, facing Rachel and folding her legs under her. "Rachel, no one knows when enough is enough for you but you. If you know for a fact that you're done, that you've done all you can do and you just really don't want to deal with her anymore then…don't. Don't deal with her, I mean."

Rachel's shoulders sagged in relief, releasing the bottom lip she had been gnawing on nervously. She was always the person that had to make things right, the one that had to be the mature one, take the high road, fix problems, but she was tired. She didn't want to fix it, didn't want to interact with Shelby anymore. She just wanted to wipe her slate clean and get along without her.

She felt a hand brush a tear away from her cheek and she leaned into it, nuzzling Quinn's palm as another tear slid down her face. "Thank you, Quinn."

"You'll be okay," Quinn said, with unexpected confidence, as if she just _knew _things were going to get better. It always amazed her how confident Quinn could be.

She nodded, rubbing absentmindedly at her arm. "Can I have a hug?" she asked quietly.

"You don't have to ask." Quinn curled an arm around her shoulders and tugged until Rachel was in her arms securely.

"I just can't deal with her," Rachel whispered into Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn just rubbed her back soothingly. "I understand."

"But I want…" she touched her tongue to her lip nervously.

"What do you want?"

"I want to see her."

Quinn's brow furrowed. "Shelby?"

"Beth." Her voice was so tiny and unsure that Quinn almost didn't hear it.

Her arms tightened around Rachel. "I want you to see her, too."

Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry."

Quinn pulled back. "What are you apologizing for?"

"Because I know you really want this and it's important to you and I'm letting you down."

Quinn laughed softly. "Rachel, last year I spent the entirety of our relationship keeping you in the closet to everyone outside of glee club."

Rachel flopped back on her bed, eyeing the various small cracks in her ceiling. "It's not a competition, Quinn."

"It's not," Quinn agreed quietly. "I'm just saying that relationships are about being understanding and compromising…"

"You're right," Rachel conceded quietly.

Quinn studied her quietly for a moment. Then she got up from the bed.

Rachel shot up. "Where are you going?" she asked worriedly.

Quinn grabbed her phone from the nightstand and sat back down on the bed beside Rachel. She slid her phone unlock and opened her images, scrolling to the first picture of Beth she had taken and giving it to Rachel.

Rachel looked from the phone to Quinn. "What are you—"

"You said you wanted to see her." Quinn looked down at the phone and motioned for her to scroll.

Rachel scooted closer and tucked herself into Quinn's side, scrolling through the pictures. They ranged from Beth eating, to her watching TV, to her interacting with Puck. "She's beautiful," Rachel noted. "No surprise there." Sometimes it almost seemed unfair to her. Quinn and Puck were the most genetically gifted people in the school when it came to aesthetics; it was only logical that their child was going to be supremely pretty. And she was. Beth was the cutest thing Rachel had ever seen and suddenly that surge of protectiveness that had scared her when she felt it during Quinn's pregnancy flared to life again and it still took her by surprise because the awkward family dynamic they already had really didn't call for her to be feeling this way towards Quinn's child.

"Gosh, she looks so much like you here," Rachel pointed out, deciding to forget about it and immerse herself back into the moment.

Quinn giggled at the image of Beth scowling at Puck. "He had taken her Hotwheel away."

"Hotwheel?"

Quinn huffed quietly. "She likes toy cars."

Rachel laughed. "I bet you were the type to like Barbie dolls?"

"You weren't?"

"I tried not to limit myself to a certain gender specific brand of toy. I had Barbie dolls but I also played with G.I. Joe."

Quinn's eyes narrowed as she studied her. "I bet you dressed your G.I. Joe doll—"

"He was an action figure, Quinn."

"I bet you still dressed him in your Barbie doll dresses."

Her chin tipped up smugly as Rachel ducked her head with a small blush. "G.I. Joe had some…gender confusing times."

Quinn laughed loudly at the admission because only Rachel Berry would create a transgendered doll at such a young age.

She leaned into Rachel more, resting her cheek against her head as Rachel continued to flip through pictures. "Have you ever thought about drawing her?" Rachel wondered idly.

"I…had not."

"Perhaps you could." She shrugged a little. "Maybe you could give a drawing to her as a gift so when you come with me to New York," she tried to sound as light as possible, "she could have that and think of you."

"If she remembers me," Quinn muttered.

Rachel sat the phone down and twisted to get a good look at Quinn. "You can give Shelby a picture of you to keep in Beth's room. Call Beth all the time and force Shelby to get Skype so that you and Beth can actually see each other and interact in real time."

Quinn had never considered all of those options and when Rachel put it that way—it seemed kind of doable. She gave a little half smile and kissed Rachel on the mouth, picking up the phone again and going through the rest of the pictures with her.

* * *

><p>Quinn knocked insistently on Shelby's door. Her fingers were freezing in the winter air and could see her breath on every exhale because of how cold it was outside.<p>

She saw Shelby look through the peephole, then the door opened. "Quinn, what are you doing here?" she asked as she leaned against the door frame.

Quinn frowned. "What am I doing here? I'm here to see my daughter."

"You didn't even call to ask if you could come over."

"I was on this side of town anyway and wanted to see her."

Shelby sighed heavily before opening the door a little further. "I'll let you in this time but if you come over here again without calling in advance I won't let you in."

Quinn bit her tongue, choosing not to make a scathing comment when she was still standing on the wrong side of the door. When Shelby stepped aside she walked in quickly, searching for Beth. "Is she up the stairs?" she asked as she walked through the living room.

Shelby leaned back against the closed door, watching Quinn walk about. "Yes."

Quinn ran upstairs quickly. She opened the door to Beth's room and already saw her standing up in her crib, a worrisome expression on her face and a pacifier in her mouth. Quinn smiled widely, walking over to her daughter and picking her up. "You just waking up?" she murmured, clutching Beth closer.

"She is," Shelby said from the doorway.

Quinn walked outside the room, Shelby trailing behind her as they all went downstairs. She looked around as she walked through the living room to sit down. She amusedly saw Beth's toys strewn about on the floor and—

"Has Puck been here today?" she asked with a curious frown as she spied Puck's guitar in the corner.

Shelby smoothed a lock of hair behind her ear, sitting on a different couch once Quinn sat down. "No, he hasn't."

She didn't bother to offer a further explanation and Quinn filed the information in the back of her mind, reminding herself to ask Puck about it later.

She turned Beth around to face her, standing her up on her lap to get a good look at her. "Hi, baby," she said warmly. "I told you I'd see you soon, right?"

Beth grinned at her, leaning forward and placing a kiss against her cheek.

Quinn giggled quietly. "I missed you, too."

Shelby watched their interaction closely. "You're good with her," she observed.

"You seem surprised," Quinn responded, affronted.

"I just…didn't expect you to be as good as you are. Or good at all."

"Some of us actually care about our children," Quinn couldn't help but bite out.

She thought she was about to be kicked out but Shelby just kind of ducked her head as if shamed, clasping her hands in her lap.

Beth reached up to touch her cheek and that was enough to distract Quinn's attention from Shelby. She turned back around to Beth's smile. "Quinn," she beamed.

Quinn smiled back. "Beth."

Beth nodded and wrapped her short arms around Quinn's neck.

"I care about her," Shelby said quietly.

"Apparently not enough to stay after her first play and tell her how well she did."

She looked sharply towards Quinn. "Why do you care?"

Quinn blanched before blushing furiously and turned back around to face Beth. "Because Rachel has feelings and—"

"No, that's not it," Shelby insisted, standing up and walking towards her. "If that was all there is to it then you wouldn't be blushing as much as you are. I haven't seen you blush since that day in the hospital when Puck alluded to the two of you having sex and making such a beautiful baby."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she gritted out between her teeth.

"Are-are you and my daughter…"

Quinn's jaw clenched as she nodded curtly.

"That would explain why the both of you were acting so weirdly that day in my office a couple of months ago. She couldn't keep her eyes off you. And _you_," she shook her head a little, "you actually looked like you _cared_."

"I do care," she said quickly. "At least one of us has to since you apparently dropped the ball years ago."

"I care about her," Shelby defended.

"Not enough, apparently."

"I'm not going to stand here and be given advice from the same child that used to bully Rachel," Shelby growled.

"Well you should! Because if the person that used to bully her can love her as much as I do then it shouldn't be that hard for the woman that birthed her to at least reach out to her every once in a while!"

Beth whined quietly in front of Quinn, shaking her arms in distress. Quinn took a deep breath, removing herself from the situation and smiling down at Beth. "I'm sorry," she whispered, placing a kiss against blonde curls.

She could feel Shelby's eyes on her, scrutinizing her. Beth's own eyes began to droop and Quinn chuckled at her. She moved Beth to lie down in her arms, cradling her head as she smiled down at her. "You're sleepy again already?" she murmured.

Beth's only response was for her eyes to slip shut softly.

"Love?" Shelby couldn't help but ask.

Quinn looked at her, standing up and heading towards the stairs. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"You love Rachel?" She sounded completely dumbfounded and Quinn guessed that was fair. It came as a shock to everyone, including herself, in the beginning.

Quinn smiled down at Beth once she placed her in the crib, smoothing blonde curls off of her forehead. She walked back over to the door, closing it behind her and meeting Shelby in the hallway.

"I love her," Quinn said quietly.

"I—wow," she laughed disbelievingly. "And she feels the same way?"

Quinn shot her a dry look and Shelby quickly amended. "Right. This is Rachel we're talking about."

The conversation lulled and Quinn leaned back against the door to Beth's room, wishing she was still awake so she could play with her more.

"You love her, too," Shelby said quietly, motioning to the room behind her.

"I love Beth with all my heart," she replied without hesitation.

"And I love Beth with all _my _heart."

Quinn's eyes narrowed. "But you don't love Rachel?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then say that you do or otherwise I'm going to have a very different impression of you."

"I love Rachel just as much as I love Beth," Shelby said carefully, meeting Quinn's eyes. "But I love them in two very different ways. The love that I have for Rachel is more…resigned." Quinn shot her a confused expression and Shelby took a deep breath before elaborating. "She has parents; she has a life that I'm not a part of. And I'm not trying to disrupt that."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You say that then you come to the town your daughter lives in, _then_ you come to teach at the high school she attends."

Shelby smiled sadly. "Even I—the impenetrable force Rachel thinks me as—is capable of missing my daughter. And the more I thought about Rachel and looked at Beth, the more I wondered if you missed Beth as much as I missed Rachel."

"I missed Beth every day," Quinn whispered. "I never stopped."

"And you loved her every day, I'm sure."

Quinn nodded.

"Wasn't that love resigned, then? Didn't you love her with everything you had but understood that you were never going to get the chance to be a part of her life the way you wanted? That's why I brought her back. I wanted you to have that opportunity. And…I wanted to be able to watch Rachel from afar. To see her grow and change, but I never thought that my being here would cause her to resent me so deeply."

The lines of frustration that marred Shelby's face reminded Quinn of herself. Being a mother had filled her with nothing but frustration every time she thought of her daughter.

Shelby looked up at her with tears glistening in her eyes and the smallest, saddest of smiles. "I'll offer you a deal."

Quinn looked to her guardedly. "What kind of deal?"

"We'll trade," she muttered. "A daughter for a daughter. You promise to love and take care of mine and…I'll love and take care of yours."

It seemed ludicrous, but such a fair trade off.

And as emotion swirled through Quinn's chest and choked her vocal cords, she couldn't help but nod.

* * *

><p>Sectionals had everyone's heart racing. After Mr. Schuester reeled with the team's constant swapping of members—the final list of competing members consisting of Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Finn Kurt, Blaine, Tina, Mike, and Artie—he sent Santana and Mercedes to Booty Camp and everyone worked from there. They had the perfect 12 that they had in the beginning, for better or for worse. An even number of guys and girls during numbers where pairings were involved. They had spent the remaining two and a half weeks practicing routines, choosing solos that the group already knew to ease the difficulty of having to prepare in such a short amount of time. They would have had longer but Mr. Schuester explained to them that Sue was running for Congress and as a result, was campaigning for others to boycott the arts and cut them from the school systems. Due to that, Sectionals was moved up to a time much closer to Christmas in hopes that citizens of Lima, Ohio would be in the giving mood and would donate money to the competing schools in hopes of 'keeping the arts alive'. As a result, everyone had to work twice as hard to be ready in half the time they normally had to be ready in. Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana each got a solo, Brittany and Mike were able to dance intermittently, Rachel and Finn had a crowd moving duet that had Quinn sweating buckets until it was over and Rachel had made it out, un-kissed. And Rachel even made sure that Quinn had as many singing parts in group numbers as she possibly could even though Quinn was more than content to sway in the background.<p>

They had often passed each other and smiled during numbers without breaking choreography.

When it was over they all stood just off to the side of the closed curtain as the announcer awaited the judges' decision.

Rachel and Quinn stood behind the group by themselves. Rachel looking forward and Quinn standing pressed behind her, arms wrapped around Rachel's shoulders. Rachel reached up to curve her fingers around Quinn's arms. "I'm nervous," she whispered.

Quinn nuzzled behind her ear. "Don't be. I think we did great."

She angled her head to look at Quinn out of the corner of her eye. "Have I ever told you that you're a little genius for getting Santana and Mercedes to come back?"

"You mean when you stopped yelling at me?" she scoffed. "I think you may have mentioned that."

They both watched as Santana teetered in confusion, pretending not to be looking at them before she sighed, gave up pretense and walked over. Quinn's face smoothed out into a neutral expression as Rachel's back straightened defensively. Santana's hands slid into the pockets of the black slacks they all wore as onstage costumes as she rocked back on her heels. "Heard our chance of winning is pretty good."

Quinn's head bobbed up and down. "I'm inclined to agree."

Rachel smiled. "I mean granted, we only had less than a month's worth of time to perfect our performances but, I think we were all pretty spectacular."

"Yeah, so, anyway, we were all thinking about having dinner together after this. If we win, it's a celebration. If we lose, it's a pick me up."

Rachel had just about had enough of 'pick me up dinners'. She had had at least three provided by family after the whole Shelby and play debacle and really, it was all getting to be a little sad. She didn't want this dinner to be a pick me up and crossed her fingers that they would win.

She sunk back against Quinn. "I hope we win."

"Guys, we're up," Mr. Schuester called from the front.

"Go on," Quinn told her, dropping her arms from around Rachel and giving her a gentle nudge forward.

"Come with me," she countered, grabbing Quinn's hand. They walked forward along with everyone else. Rachel and Mercedes shared nervous smiles. Quinn spotted Finn looking at hers and Rachel's intertwined fingers and squeezed the hand in her own briefly, walking forward.

The curtain opened and all of the groups walked onstage. The bright stage lights hid everyone's face in the crowd but Quinn took solace in knowing that Judy was there and Rachel put on her best show smile, knowing her fathers were there.

"Third place is…"

The name was muted white noise in the background as Rachel angled her body towards Quinn, a small smile on her face. So many of her relationships with people had changed since the beginning of this year alone—Shelby, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes. But they all paled in comparison to how her relationship with Quinn had transformed.

"And second place is…"

Quinn looked down to how Rachel's eyes sparkled as she swung their joined hands. She answered her bright smile with one of her own. Rachel mouthed _I __love__ you_ quietly and Quinn pinked in embarrassment but mouthed it back nonetheless.

"And first place is…drum roll please. New Directions!"

Their teammates began jumping up and down, tackling each other in happiness but Rachel and Quinn just stood there staring at each other. Rachel's smile widened significantly when she heard their name being called, happiness and relief flooding through her because they were going to Regionals, she could put that on her application to NYADA and she was going to have a celebratory dinner after this.

Quinn's eyes flicked up to the confetti raining down on them, the loud applause in the background and her teammates jumping up and down around her. She looked back down to find Rachel still very much attached to her hand. She squeezed her fingers lightly, curling her free arm around her waist and leaned down to kiss her softly.

It wasn't a long kiss, it didn't stop time, the confetti didn't stop falling, their teammates didn't stop jumping around and the applause didn't stop. No one awkwardly gawked at them like they did at Rachel and Finn during Nationals last year. None of that happened yet Rachel's heart raced so fast and she couldn't catch her breath and there were butterflies _everywhere, _not just in her stomach. Goosebumps rose along her skin and when Quinn pulled back and just smiled at her like she knew that her insides were doing funny things.

"We won, guys!" Brittany called loudly, wrapping her arms around Quinn and Rachel. "We won!"

Quinn winced at the loud voice in her ear, but smiled anyway. "We sure did, B."

"We get dinner tonight!"

"I can sure go for some good. I'm so hungry I think I feel myself wasting away," Kurt lamented.

"Take a look at this, dudes." Puck and Finn walked towards them slowly, a large trophy being carried between the two of them. "2011-2012 school year Sectionals trophy belongs to us!"

They all cheered loudly, crowding around the trophy and grabbing at it with wide eyes and even wider smiles. Santana reached out and mussed Quinn's hair and Quinn glared over at her, her scowl morphing into a smile. Mercedes leaned over and wrapped her arm around Rachel in a big hug, congratulating her and complimenting her solo while Kurt walked over and wrapped his arms around the both of them. Quinn walked over and wrapped her arms around Rachel from behind as Blaine slung an arm around Kurt. Santana and Brittany saw the dog pile and slammed into Quinn, tackling her in a hug. Mike and Tina squeezed in by Mercedes and Kurt and though Puck and Finn considered themselves too cool, they dapped each other up and gave Artie a five.

They stayed there for as long as they could until Santana voiced a complaint about it feeling like a sweaty orgy and everyone promptly stepped apart.

* * *

><p>"Ready to go?"<p>

"Just a minute," Rachel murmured, slipping into her flats. "How do I look?"

Quinn hid an amused smile as she looked over Rachel's short maroon skirt and yellow short sleeve sweater. "You look adorable," she couldn't help but admit.

"Are you lying to me?"

"No."

"Is this something that you would wear?" she asked, making a sweeping gesture across her attire.

"No."

Rachel looked to Quinn, reading a magazine and sitting crossed legged on her bed. She was wearing a blue and white stripped dress with red stitching and an equally red cardigan. Rachel pouted a little, whether Quinn was going through a punk phase or wearing her normal clothing, she was always fashionable.

"Then this," she fingered the hem of her sweater, "isn't very fashionable, is it? I probably shouldn't wear it."

Quinn nonchalantly allowed the magazine to slip from her long fingers onto the bed. She stood up, smoothing down her dress before sauntering over to Rachel. She grabbed slim shoulders firmly, looking Rachel in the eye. "When I was wearing black clothing and leather jackets—and you _hated _that leather jacket—did you force me to change my wardrobe?"

Rachel chewed on her lower lip. "No," she admitted. "But I suppose I did voice my opinion on your clothing choice."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I've voiced my opinion on your fashion choices for years. Yet, I'm not going to sit here and tell you to change what you like. So, wear all the animal print sweaters you want," she said with a small smile. Her smile slipped into a smirk as her eyes caressed Rachel's body from head to toe. "I'd still hit it."

Rachel blinked owlishly as Quinn laughed, stepping back and walking over to the doorway. "Come on, Berry. Let's go to dinner."

She stood there dumbfounded until her wits came back to her and she ran to follow Quinn downstairs. Sometimes she forgot that the Quinn from summer that seemed a _lot _more edgy and experienced was just under the surface of the Quinn she had always known. Because the Quinn she had always known couldn't have said that without turning eight shades of red. Then again, the Quinn she had always known wouldn't have kissed her onstage in front of a crowd of people so, edgy, experienced Quinn that had the don't give a fuck attitude was all kinds of awesome sometimes.

* * *

><p>They all arrived at Breadstix around the same time, the large crowd of teenagers, filing inside one and two at a time, scaring any of the older crowds eating.<p>

There was a perky waitress at a podium, waiting for them all to finally make it inside. Mike and Tina finally squeezed in and the door shut behind everyone.

"Good afternoon," she chirped. "Table for…"

"Booth," Santana spoke up. "And we have a party of twelve. Mhm, that's right," she added as the waitress's mouth slowly opened in shock.

"Umm, well, we don't have booths that can fit twelve people."

"Then give us two," she instructed, eyes narrowed. "We can fit six per set of booths and Hotwheels over there," she hooked her thumb over her shoulder to Artie, "doesn't need a seat."

The waitress nodded hurriedly and set up two booths in the back of the restaurant for them. They all filed into their seats. "I wanna sit with Q and Rachel," Brittany called as Rachel slid into a booth followed by Quinn. Brittany took it upon herself to slide in on the opposite side of them and Santana slid in after.

Puck and Finn stood back to allow the women and couples a chance to situate themselves…and to look up skirts of the waitresses.

Kurt and Blaine sat beside each other in a booth while Mercedes slid in beside Kurt. Mike and Tina sat opposite them, Artie wheeling up at the end of the table. Puck turned around after everyone settled down. He nudged Finn. "Hot table," he muttered, pointing to where Quinn, Rachel, Brittany, and Santana were sitting. He pointed to the other booth. "Loser table. Guess I know where I'm sitting."

He walked by Finn and squeezed in the booth beside Quinn, resting an arm along the back of the both. "'Sup, ladies." Rachel leaned forward to pointedly stare at him. He smirked a little, stealing his arm back and put it in his lap. He looked up at Finn. "You sittin' or what, dude?"

Finn's gaze darted over to the other booth, then back to the one where Puck was sitting. Everyone was looking up at him with mixed emotions. Puck was looking bored, Quinn was looking tense, Rachel was looking hesitant, Santana was looking bored and Brittany was smiling, mostly because she just liked smiling. He hesitated a moment longer before sliding into the booth beside Santana, sitting on the edge of the seat. Santana turned to him.

"So nice to have you grace us with your presence, Finnocence," she said sarcastically.

Brittany frowned. "Santana, be nice. This is our winning dinner."

Rachel licked her lips nervously. "I'm inclined to agree, Santana. The less arguing we have, the better this dinner will go."

Quinn's back straightened a little in her seat, but she didn't say anything, clearing her throat a little.

The waitress came over next and handed out menus, taking everyone's drink order before walking away.

"I just wants my sticks," Santana announced to the group, not bothering to pick a menu up.

"That's what she said," Puck returned.

Brittany's head tilted in confusion. "I thought she said 'I just wants my sticks'?"

"That's exactly what I said, B. So glad someone at this table gets me." She reached under the table discretely and held Brittany's hand.

"I think I'll try this bacon club sandwich," Quinn muttered to herself. She looked towards Rachel. "What are you getting?"

"I'll just have a salad."

Quinn frowned. "A salad? That's kind of lame—you haven't even looked through your menu." She reached forward to pick up Rachel's menu but paused halfway. "I—oh." Her brow furrowed. "Hold on."

Rachel looked on in confusion as she watched Quinn flip quickly through the menu. Quinn sighed, slapping a palm to her forehead. "There's nothing vegan here, is there?"

She couldn't help but smile at the concerned frown on her girlfriend's face. "No, but it's quite alright. I've eaten here before and I've been fine."

"Yeah, I've brought her here before," Finn piped up. Both of their gazes flicked towards him. "And she never complained."

Quinn's eyebrow shot up in annoyance. "That's because she was being polite." She looked back at Rachel, murmuring, "Do you want to leave? We can go somewhere else."

Rachel vehemently shook her head. "I want to celebrate with my team. I don't mind eating a salad."

Quinn bit her lip, contemplating. "I can—would you like to go eat somewhere else when this is over?"

"Most restaurants will be closed."

"Rachel," she sighed in exasperation. "Can we just go?"

She smiled, grabbing Quinn's hand. "I can just fix myself something to eat when I get home."

Quinn lowered her head towards Rachel. "Or, I can fix you something to eat," she said quietly.

It always warmed Rachel's heart, how much of a provider and how nurturing Quinn could be. "Okay, that sounds wonderful."

"Are you guys ready to order?" the waitress at the end of the table asked.

Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulders, sinking back into the booth as everyone ordered.

"I just want a basket of breadsticks. Make it two."

"Can I have the tiny cheeseburgers that the chef shrinks with his shrink ray?"

The waitress looked to Brittany in confusion. "Do you mean cheeseburger sliders?"

Brittany looked down at her menu. "Yeah, those."

"Puckzilla wants a steak with your number as the side dish."

The waitress blushed and wrote down his order, flicking up the piece of paper on her notepad to a clean page and writing her number down. Everyone watched in shock as she handed it to Puck.

"And what can I get you?" she asked Finn.

"Oh, uh, I'll just have a steak, as well."

"And the two women in the back…?"

Quinn and Rachel looked up as if they had just noticed the waitress was there.

"I'll have a salad," Rachel told her.

"I'll have a salad, as well."

Rachel nudged Quinn softly. "I know you like bacon; you can have that club sandwich if you want to."

Quinn shrugged it off and turned to the waitress to finalize her salad order. Rachel ducked her head, smiling sheepishly. She leaned forward and sort of head butted Quinn against the shoulder softly because—what do you say to someone that does something like this for you? Veganism was important to her and for years she had simply accepted that none of her friends or significant others really give a damn yet here Quinn was, showing that she recognized and respected her dietary habits like that time she brought Rachel vegan chocolate when they were dating last year.

Quinn laughed at her rare lack-of-words moment and kissed her softly on the head.

"Okay, so when did the two of you start doing this shit?" Santana asked from across the table.

"Doing what?" Rachel asked.

She gestured towards them. "The whole kissing and cuddling up in a booth in public shit. Quinn, I could have sworn you were allergic to holding Rachel's hand outside of glee club last year."

Their moods shifted somberly as Rachel recalled all the times she had held mental meltdowns at the weight of having to hide who she was after finally accepting the fact that she loved Quinn and Quinn remembering all the tears she shed because of how much she _wanted _to hold Rachel's hand in public but also how she was so scared people were going to find out.

Finally, Quinn shrugged, looking at Santana. "I just stopped caring about what people thought."

"So, you just woke up one day and said 'fuck Judy, I'm just gonna be gay'?"

She sucked her teeth. "No quite. More like I had lost everything—mother, father, daughter, Rachel."

Rachel reached up and intertwined her fingers with Quinn's around her shoulder as if to remind Quinn that she had her now.

Quinn sucked in a sharp breath. "I guess what I'm saying is, when you have nothing to lose, you stop caring, you know? Plus, I was sleeping at my friends' houses more than my own so if my mom found out—which she did—and kicked me out—which she didn't, but still, if she had—I would have had somewhere else to go."

"And, now?" Santana muttered thoughtfully.

Quinn looked at Santana's pensive features, wondering what was going on in her head. "And now, everyone knows. I'm not a cheerleader and subsequently, popularity is the last thing on my mind so, I don't care about that aspect. My father knows but he can't kick me out of a house he doesn't even live in. And my mom…she's dealing."

Rachel couldn't help but smile, remembering the message Judy gave her after the play a couple of weeks prior.

Santana smiled a little. "I guess your life is perfect, huh, Fabray?"

Perfect. She had lived her life for eighteen years and perfect was never the adjective she would have applied to it. But even Quinn could recognize when things were looking up. "It's…nice," she said softly, carefully, hyperaware of Rachel's dark gaze on her. "I'm happy."

The waitress came and all attention diverted to the food. Quinn sat back in her seat with a sigh, grateful that everyone's full attention wasn't on her anymore. However, as Rachel continued to look up at her, she had to concede that there was one person's attention that she hardly ever minded having.

* * *

><p>"I was so sure that when my shoelaces came untied I was going to fall on my ass!" Mike exclaimed to the group. "I even tripped once—the moment when Brittany reached out and grabbed my shoulders?"<p>

"I thought that was part of the choreography?" Rachel asked, pushing her salad bowl away.

"It wasn't," Quinn told her. "I had seen them practice it a lot whenever Brittany visited Booty Camp some days to help teach and during that moment they weren't even supposed to be touching."

"But my Britts pulled it off well," Santana announced. "You weren't so bad yourself, Mike."

They had all finished their meals, hanging around a booth. Artie had wheeled over towards their table and Mike had pulled up a chair to sit on, Tina in his lap.

Mercedes, Kurt, and Blaine had turned around, rising on their knees to peer over the back of their booth and join their friends in conversation.

"I thought my voice was going to crack at any giving moment as I sang that Whitney song," Mercedes said. "I had been sick for days and just knew at least one note was going to come out wrong."

"You were great, Weezy," Santana told her with a shit eating grin.

Mercedes pointed a threatening finger at her from across the group of people. "Now, you listen to me—"

"I, for one, think you sounded fabulous, Mercedes," Rachel chimed in. "And so did Quinn!" she gushed grabbing Quinn's arm and pulling on it a little. Quinn blushed, trying to wave her comments off. "Didn't she sound wonderful; I helped her."

"You did sound pretty good, baby Mama," Puck piped up. "Had a little soul in your voice."

Mercedes winked at her. "You were great, girlfriend."

Santana shrugged. "Not as good as me, but you're decent."

She mostly ignored the former of that statement and smiled sheepishly from their compliments because—holy shit. They were _compliments_ given to _her _that consisted of something other than her looks. She felt the same pride swell in her chest as she did the day Rachel called her talented—she'd probably never forget that day.

"Thanks, guys," she muttered blushingly.

They all sat there for about an hour longer, paid their checks and left. Quinn pulled Rachel along towards the car, turning towards her with a curious expression. "You've never had my cooking, have you? I don't remember cooking anything vegan before."

Rachel shook her head with a smile.

"Well, get ready, because I'm an awesome cook."

* * *

><p>This was the kind of thing forever was made of.<p>

That was all Rachel could think as she watched Quinn fiddle around in her apron in the kitchen. Quinn looked up at her as she put the final touches on the recipe for a tofu, broccoli and cashew stir fry Rachel had handed her as soon as they walked in the house. "What?" she asked, sprinkling crushed cashew over the plate of food.

Rachel smiled goofily at the display in front of her. "I just…really, really love you," she said quietly.

Quinn dipped her head with a small smile. "I love you, too."

She grabbed a fork from a drawer and placed it on the plate, walking over to Rachel. "Okay, go to the table."

Rachel groaned quietly when Quinn walked away instead of giving the plate to her. She followed her girlfriend to the table, sitting beside Quinn as the plate was scooted over to her.

Quinn bit her lip in uncertainty, her gaze darting from Rachel to the stir fry. "I hope you like it otherwise I might shoot myself in mortification."

Rachel rolled her eyes. And they said _she_ was the melodramatic one. She forked around her plate and placed a portion in her mouth. She couldn't believe it. Her eyes literally slid shut as a luxurious moan slipped from her throat. "Quinn, this is amazing!"

She grinned. "Is it really? I wasn't sure if it was going to turn out okay."

"It's more than okay, it's—here." She gathered more on a fork and lifted it towards Quinn. Quinn opened her mouth and accepted it. And, she didn't want to toot her own horn, but she was a damn good cook. "That's pretty good," she muttered.

"It's so good."

Rachel sat there and ate until her heart was content, intermittently feeding Quinn forkfuls until Quinn finally got up and fixed herself a plate. Rachel scraped along her plate, finishing the last of her food. She looked towards Quinn's plate forlornly. "Can I have some?"

Quinn scooted her plate closer and together, the two of them finished off that plate and a third one.

They both slumped back against their seats when all the food was gone. Rachel turned towards Quinn. "Thank you for cooking me dinner; it was delicious." She leaned over and kissed her sweetly on the cheek.

"Anytime," Quinn murmured tiredly. She stretched languidly in the chair before standing up. "I probably should go home before I fall asleep in your house."

Rachel frowned sadly but stood up with her. "I'll walk you out."

Quinn grabbed her coat and slid it on, grabbing her purse from the coat rack. She opened the door and stepped outside into the winter night, shivering as she turned around to Rachel. They stood there in silence, soaking each other in for the last few moments they would have together.

Until the next day.

The plight of a teenager.

"I'm really glad we won today," Quinn said. "I'm glad _you_ won."

"I'm glad you won, too," Rachel said with a smile.

They stood there for a little while longer until Rachel grabbed the lapels of Quinn's coat to pull her closer. Their breaths intermingled; this was what always thrilled Rachel: the anticipation. She pulled Quinn closer, smiling goofily into the kiss because this was the kind of thing forever was made of: the promise that she always found in Quinn's kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**NC-17

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Thank you to the people that are still here reading and reviewing this story. Your love is appreciated. :)

* * *

><p>When they got back to school from Christmas break, Rachel knew it was time to kick things in gear. This was the last stretch and she needed to get into NYADA. And she needed Quinn with her. In New York.<p>

She walked down the hallway with determination, turning the corner and barging into the teachers' lounge without apology. "Mr. Schue, may I have a word?"

All eyes were on her. Ms. Pillsbury, Coach Bieste, the mean biology teacher who Quinn warned her away from this semester, and…Shelby. Rachel sighed quietly.

"Get that student out of here!" Coach Sylvester bellowed over from the coffee machine.

"She's not doing anything, Sue," Mr. Schuester said in exasperation.

"And if she needs to be in here," Shelby spoke up, "she can."

Sue growled lowly, glaring at the three of them. "This is the reason why children think they run the world today. No one ever tells them no. What, with their underage drinking, child birthing at such a young age. By the way, troll, how's your girlfriend?"

"Did she just call my daughter a troll?"

Rachel's mouth opened in shock. "How did you—"

"There isn't a thing going on in this school that I don't know about," Sue told her, hiding her smirk behind a steaming cup of coffee.

Rachel quickly pulled her eyes away from Sue before she ended up forgetting all about her reason for being there. She looked back down at Mr. Schuester, eyes flicking to Shelby before finding Schuester again. "Good morning, Mr. Schue. As you already know, I am applying to NYADA for my post-secondary education."

"I heard. That's a wonderful school for you."

She beamed excitedly. "Yes, well, as you also may know I need two recommendations for my application and I was hoping to get one from you and one from Ms. Pillsbury."

Shelby's entire body stiffened and Rachel couldn't help her wandering eyes from darting to the rigid frame at the end of the table, watching Shelby's jaw clench in obvious irritation before she looked away.

Emma's back straightened in her seat with pride. "I'd be more than happy to fill out a recommendation for you, Rachel."

Rachel handed her a sheet of paper with her credentials. "I figured since you were one of the directors of _West __Side __Story_, you could write about my outstanding professionalism and how I brought my A game during every rehearsal even when I wasn't feeling particularly well some days."

"And you, Mr. Schuester," she handed a paper to him, "you can write about how I was glee club captain for the past three years and please add the fact that we're going to Regionals this year and omit the fact that we lost Nationals last year because Finn kissed me."

He let loose an overwhelmed chuckle, but took the paper from her nonetheless. It was front and back, listing all the different ways he could sing Rachel's praises in the recommendation letter he was writing for her. "Okay, you have my word. I'll write it."

"Thank you, Mr. Schue," she replied with a smile. "And thank you, Ms. Pillsbury."

She spun on her heel and walked out of the teachers' lounge, never looking back.

* * *

><p>Sometimes Rachel had good ideas.<p>

…Okay, okay, _most _of the time Rachel had good ideas.

But the idea she gave Quinn of drawing Beth was possibly the best idea Quinn had ever heard come out of that big mouth.

It felt so soothing to be able to incorporate her daughter in something she loved to do. She sketched the roundness of her dark eyes, her wispy curls, the curve of her cheeks—Quinn followed that curved line with her pencil for at least a hundred strokes. She drew her thin, curvy lips pulled into a grin, the dip below her mouth, then the roundness of her chin. She found herself drawing all of the features Beth got from Puck first because she wanted to save her own features for last. Beth didn't have a cleft chin like she did and for some reason, it amused Quinn greatly.

Beth's nose was so cute and rounded that Quinn couldn't help but giggle quietly as she drew it—a nose that reminded her so much of Cindy Lou Who. Drawing the eyebrows was her all-time favorite. Shelby could claim Beth all she wanted to but Quinn's daughter had generations behind those eyebrows; it would always be that one trait that linked Beth to Quinn more than anything else.

Quinn had learned to raise her eyebrows from watching her mother do it so many times in the past. Whenever they would come home from church and Russell would take off his tie, he and Judy would sit at the kitchen table and gossip about various skeletons in the closet of the families that frequented their church. And Judy's eyebrow would rise and dip and both would furrow towards the middle of her forehead and Quinn would sit on the steps and easily mimic her facial expressions, running upstairs to her room to practice in the mirror. She and her sister would often mimic their parents. Fran would pitch her voice lower and pretend to remove an invisible tie from around her neck and Quinn would place a hand on her hip like her mother, chatting a mile a minute. Eventually, Fran and Quinn would burst into a fit of giggles at their own antics, collapsing on the bed in Quinn's room in their fluffy Sunday dresses.

Quinn cleared her throat a little when she felt her throat tighten. There were times when she missed how her family used to be. It wasn't perfect but it was _hers._

She quickly sketched the gentle curve of Beth's neck down to small shoulders, and drew in about half her shirt before she came towards the end of the page in her sketchbook. She placed her pencil down, grabbing a darker one and began shading the left side of Beth's face and down her neck.

There was a knock on the door and she smiled faintly, eyes darting to the clock. "Come in."

Unsurprisingly, the door opened and Rachel walked in with a yellow flowy dress on that looked really familiar. It came past her knees, making that one of the longest articles of clothing Quinn had ever seen Rachel wear. "That looks good on you," she commented.

Rachel smiled megawatt wide as she walked closer to Quinn. "Why, thank you. My girlfriend let me borrow this."

"She has excellent taste."

"Hmm, I'll let her know you said that. Though, she doesn't like compliments."

Quinn smirked as Rachel wrapped both arms around her neck, nuzzling the side of her face. "If your girlfriend's anything like me, then she doesn't mind compliments from the right person."

"And who's the right person?"

Quinn leaned over and kissed her softly against the lips. "Well, if you have to ask…"

Rachel pulled back enough to see what Quinn had on. She smiled. "Always beautiful."

She had on a simple white dress with thin straps on her shoulders. She had on a pair of black combat boots that spiked Rachel's interest more than it should have.

Quinn looked down to where Rachel was watching, shifting a little on her stool. "I bought those with my first paycheck over the summer."

"I…like them," Rachel said with a lilt to her voice suggesting even she was surprised by the words that came out of her mouth. The boots combined with the innocence and girliness of the white dress created an intriguing contrast.

"Thanks." She leaned down, blowing off excess graphite from her sketch.

Rachel's eyes followed Quinn until—

"Quinn, that's gorgeous!"

Rachel picked up her sketchpad without warning and Quinn chuckled quietly, looking over at her. Rachel held the sketchbook in one hand, her other hand wrapped around Quinn's shoulder as Quinn sat on the stool. "This is so good. So much detail and shading. I cannot believe you've been this good at art this whole time and haven't told me!"

She shrugged a little. "It just never came up."

Rachel looked over at her. "If you don't at least take one art course in college I will be so mad at you." She handed the book back to her.

Quinn laughed, closing the book and grabbing her bag to shove it in. "Deal." She put all of her pencils neatly in her box, Rachel watching in wonder as she carefully slid them in her bag. "Ready to go?"

"Are you coming over?"

Quinn winced as she stood up. "I can't. Mack wants me to come over today."

Rachel pouted up at her and Quinn leaned down to kiss her thoroughly. She grabbed the back of Rachel's neck and forcefully pulled her closer, plying her lips apart, sliding her tongue in and swallowing her moan. "We've talked about this," she murmured against her lips. "But I promise I'll try to come over later if I have the opportunity."

"Fine," Rachel sighed, pulling back. "Perhaps I could pry Kurt and Mercedes from their boyfriends long enough to hang out with me. Just—" she reached up, fingers softly touching just below Quinn's eye. "Be careful with those…Skanks."

Quinn chuckled quietly. "Now you're just calling them that on purpose."

Rachel grinned, dropping her hand to slide into Quinn's own. "Can you at least walk me to my car?"

She nodded and together they walked out of the art room and down the hallway. Rachel smiled widely while Quinn was on alert. She spotted the hockey team down the hallway and cursed under her breath. She went to move her hand from Rachel's but fingers tightened around her own.

Rachel looked over at her. "What's wrong?"

"The hockey team," she gritted out. "That's what's wrong."

Rachel held her hand tightly as the hockey team walked by. They all stared after Quinn knowingly, but didn't utter a word. When they were gone, Quinn breathed a quiet sigh, pulling Rachel along faster.

"They didn't say anything."

"But they know."

"Doesn't that make it even better, then?" Rachel challenged. "If they know we're together but don't say anything then that means they accept it, even if it's just a little."

Quinn dragged her feet, slowing her pace to Rachel's car. When they got there, Rachel let go of her hand and turned around to find Quinn looking angrily at the ground. "Quinn," she said softly. "Quinn, look at me."

Her gaze darted up and past Rachel, looking back at that hell-hole of a school.

"Quinn, look at me," Rachel said firmly.

Reluctant hazel eyes met her own.

"Quinn, you remember what Kurt went through last year," Rachel said quietly. "We haven't even gone through half of that and I think it's suffice to say that if the football team and hockey team know about us and have done little more than slushie me—and that was on Santana's order—we're in the clear."

"You saw how they looked at us," Quinn pointed out.

"Let them look! Let them point and gawk and talk and do whatever the hell they want. As long as they don't put their hands on us, I'm okay with that."

Quinn ran a hand through her hair, pushing out a frustrated breath. "If I was still a Cheerio—"

"Then we probably wouldn't be together," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn's sharp gaze darted to hers.

"If you were still a Cheerio then you would be worried about your popularity and wouldn't give me the time of day. Quinn, what we have now is so amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Please don't start second guessing it because some mullet haired Neanderthals stared after you in the hallway because you were holding my hand."

"Okay, okay," she said quietly, gazing at the worried expression on Rachel's face. She stepped forward and wrapped both arms tightly around her shoulders. "Okay."

Rachel wrapped both arms around Quinn's waist just as fiercely. "The year is halfway over, Quinn."

Quinn sighed quietly. "I know."

"Then we can go to New York. You'll take your art classes and I'll take my theatre classes."

Quinn laughed softly into dark brown hair.

"And no one will even bat an eye when they see us walking down the street to Starbucks holding hands."

"You have an odd fixation on Starbucks," she observed, curling a lock of Rachel's hair around her finger.

"I had some for the first time last year when we went to New York! We don't have one in Lima!"

"Hmm, think I'd be scared to see your energy level hopped up on coffee half the time."

"Don't tease!" Rachel whined, tracing patterns on Quinn's lower back.

"I'm not teasing," Quinn murmured into her ear. "Yet."

She shivered from something other than the breeze passing by them and Quinn pulled back to look down at her. "Where's your coat?"

"In the car," she replied sheepishly.

"Go. Go home before you get sick then come whining to me to take care of you."

"Like you wouldn't," Rachel grumbled, opening the door and slinking into her car.

Quinn leaned down into the driver's side, giving her one more kiss. "I so would."

Rachel smiled. "Come see me tonight."

"I'll try."

"That's all I ever ask."

* * *

><p>She pulled up along the road and parked in front of Mack's house. There were two extra cars in the driveway and Quinn exhaled nervously, knowing Sheila and Ronnie were already inside.<p>

The killing of the engine and walk up to Mack's house was far too short in Quinn's opinion. Sure, Mack had told her that Ronnie and Sheila had missed her but what was to stop them from kicking her ass when she walked in? For all Quinn knew, Mack could have been lying and this was a staged ambush that could end her life.

Quinn took a deep breath, reminding herself not to listen to Rachel's crazy theories anymore and knocked firmly on the door.

It opened soon after and Mack stood at the threshold with a wide smile. "'Bout time you got here." She grabbed Quinn's hand and dragged her inside. "She's here, guys!"

Smoke permeated the room and clouded Quinn's vision as her boots thudded inside Mack's living room floor.

"The fuck is she wearing?" Quinn heard Ronnie wheeze from the corner. "You almost look like a virgin."

"Yeah, well, fuck you, Ronnie," Quinn replied easily with a chuckle, slipping back into her old mold.

Ronnie laughed along with her. "Nice of you to show."

Quinn looked over to a corner in the room where Sheila was smoking a blunt. "Wanna hit?"

And just like that, all seemed forgiven. Her gaze slid over to Mack in thanks, knowing her friend provided the other two with weed to calm their moods and make this meeting go a lot smoother.

"No thanks," she replied, sitting on the couch. Mack plopped down right beside her.

"C'mon," Ronnie hedged, walking closer and poising the blunt in front of Quinn between her two fingers. "One hit."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'm good, Ronnie. You take care of it for me."

Ronnie smiled a little, walking back over to the couch. "Don't know if I can handle the whole thing. But I'll try."

Mack turned the TV on and the four of them sank back into their seats and watched. Quinn couldn't help but still feel a little on edge. She didn't expect everything to be all squared away just because she came over and watched TV with them while Ronnie and Sheila were high. But she hoped this was at least a start.

"So, what have you guys been up to?" Quinn asked when no one was attempting to make conversation. "Haven't seen you in school much."

"We don't really go," Sheila announced.

She nodded a little, unsure of where to pick up the conversation.

"Okay," Mack began, easing from the couch. "I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

Quinn glared hard at her as she left, leaving her all alone.

"Heard you and those cheerleaders are friends again," Sheila said.

"Santana and Brittany," Quinn supplied. Her shoulders lifted into a shrug. "And I don't know. I mean, I hung with them or whatever but I don't know if that makes them my friends." She fidgeted a little, looking down at her hands clasped primly in her lap. "I considered you guys my friends. Like, family, actually."

Mack quietly walked to stand at the doorway that divided the kitchen and the living room, listening to Quinn.

"I have a lot of love for you guys and I thought—" she paused, rubbing the frown lines in her forehead. "Look, whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"You lied to us," Ronnie said from her spot on the other couch. Quinn looked over towards her. "Everyone here is as poor as the dirt clay it took to build Mack's house."

"Fuck you, Ronnie!"

They all laughed and even Quinn cracked a small smile before Ronnie continued. "We all know what it's like to go hungry for days at a time or to never be full after a meal because it's not enough. Except you. You don't know what struggle is, Quinn, and you've been lying to us and pretending you do."

"Is it really that big of a deal?"

The look all three of them shot her told her it was. She hung her head with a sigh. "Okay, fine, so I haven't starved a day in my life. Is that a prerequisite to just have a fucking friendship with you guys?"

She looked to all three of them and none of them said a thing. Mack's feet stuttered as if she was going to walk closer but she stayed rooted where she was. "You act as if I don't have anything in common with you guys. I work to help put food on the table just as much as you guys do after school. I have one parent at the dinner table every night just like you guys do; I barely even have dinner with my mother because she's passed out at the top of the stairs in her room half the time." Her lower lip trembled but she held everyone's eyes steady. "And don't you _dare_ say I don't know what struggle is. Yes, I have a father. But he pops in and out of my life whenever he feels; he's not a permanent fixture anymore. And you know something else? I have a child, too."

No one could contain their shock. Mack released a quiet gasp, Sheila's eyes widened and Ronnie slowly put out the remainder of her blunt, nearly burning her fingers because her eyes were on Quinn.

"Holy shit, you have a kid?" Mack asked.

Sheila sat forward in her seat. "Boy or girl?"

Ronnie's head tilted. "You fucked a guy?"

Quinn's laugh was watery as Ronnie's question was the one thing that stuck out in her mind. It was a true testament to how accepting of everyone the Skanks were when Ronnie found it odd that she had had sex with a boy.

"I—his name is Puck. He and I—I don't even _know__—_but I was kind of drunk and I never said no and…" she trailed off with a helpless shrug. "Nine months later…"

"Wow," Mack breathed. "I would have never guessed."

Sheila leaned back in her chair in silence.

"Damn, Quinn, that's…that's a lot to take in," Ronnie said.

She smiled crookedly. "How do you think I felt when I found out? I was perfect up until that point. And from there everything went to hell. My father—" she looked up at Mack. "The father you kept hounding me about?" Mack nodded faintly in recognition. "He kicked me out. I had to live at my then boyfriend's house." She took a deep breath. "I hadn't always accepted the fact that I'm gay."

No one spoke a word as Quinn sat there gathering her thoughts and trying to forge on with the truth. Her heart hurt, her eyes stung and she was wholly uncomfortable, but she was determined to do this. "I had the baby and I gave her up. And I—she—the woman that adopted my baby is back in Lima, so…I go see her sometimes," she finished, choosing to omit how her girlfriend fit into all of this mess.

For a while no one said anything. Mack lingered by the doorway in the living room, Sheila sat there pensively and Ronnie couldn't take her eyes off Quinn.

"I…shit," Ronnie finally uttered. "I need a drink."

As if her words broke Mack from suspended animation, she began walking. "I think we all do." She walked over to the couch, reached under it and grabbed a wad of cash. "Look, Ronnie and I are gonna go get some booze. You okay with Sheila here?"

Quinn looked over at Sheila. "As long as she doesn't sucker punch me again. I'm too pretty for black eyes." Her lips twisted into a smirk.

Sheila smiled a little. "Fuck you, Quinn; you smell like soap."

"That's supposed to be an insult?"

"Anyway," Mack cut in. "I'll be back." She hesitated a little before reaching down and giving Quinn a hug. "Glad you're back."

Quinn hugged her back and watched her and Ronnie walk out the door.

She looked back to Sheila who still hadn't moved and kicked her boots onto the table in front of the couch. "You alright over there?"

"You kept your nose ring," Sheila observed.

Quinn absentmindedly ran a hand over the cold silver pierced through her nose. "I like it."

Sheila stood up from the chair she was on and walked over to sit beside Quinn. "Did you really have a baby?" she asked quietly.

"Trust me; I wouldn't lie about something like _that_."

She nodded, rubbing her lips together a little before, "I-I was pregnant, too, once…"

Quinn's mouth fell open in shock. "I—when?"

"I was sixteen," she said, nodding to herself. "But I-I didn't…"

Quinn nodded in understanding and quickly wrapped her arms around Sheila. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's not an easy decision to make."

"I don't regret it. I wasn't ready; there was no way I could take care of a child, but—that'll stay with me for the rest of my life, Quinn, you know?"

"I know. Having something growing inside of you changes everything."

"You're a tough chick, though." Sheila chuckled a little when they both pulled back. "Going through child birth."

"Worst pain I've _ever_ felt," Quinn told her. "But she was so worth it."

"Do you have a picture?"

She nodded hurriedly, grabbing her phone from off the table and scrolling through. She received a text message from Rachel and tilted her head to the side in curiosity, opening it.

_**Quinn, are you alright? How are those Skanks treating you? Should I call the police?**_

Sheila reared back with laughter when she was done reading from over Quinn's shoulder. "Your girlfriend is scary business, huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

_**I'm fine; they're nice; don't call the police. :)**_

She scrolled through her phone and pulled up a picture of Beth, showing it to Sheila.

"She looks so innocent," Sheila breathed in awe.

"Wouldn't we all like to be like that again," Quinn commented dryly.

Her phone chirped again and she smiled sheepishly, scrolling through her text messages.

_**I'm glad you're alright. :) Will you be coming over later?**_

_**I'll try my best to come over before you go to bed.**_

She laid her phone back on the table and reclined back into the couch. "So, I'm guessing with all this bonding, this means you won't punch me in the eye again?"

"Nah, I'm not gonna hit you again. But, hey, it isn't a friendship unless you've brawled with your friends at least once."

She thought about the fight she had with Santana last year and shrugged a little. "I guess you're right."

The door knob was turned then the door was kicked open and in walked Mack with two cases of beer, followed by Ronnie with a bottle of Vodka.

Quinn's brow furrowed as she stood from the couch to help them in. "How did you two manage to not get in trouble for Ronnie's bloodshot eyes?"

"I told her to stay in the car," Mack said breathlessly.

She didn't ask about the booze because that was nothing new. Mack and her older sister, Maria, looked so much alike that Mack could use her I.D. whenever she wanted. Especially since Maria was in prison for grand larceny and wasn't going to need it anytime soon.

Mack opened the packs of beer while Ronnie took to the kitchen to open the bottle.

Sheila stood up as well, walking over to Quinn and slinging a hand over her shoulder. "You drinking tonight?"

Quinn waved her off. "Can't. I have to drive."

Sheila scoffed. "Either Ronnie or I will drive you home since this one," they looked down at Mack on the floor, already tossing a beer back, "plans on drinking the whole night."

Mack grabbed a can, hopped up and tossed it to Quinn. It was caught with ease. "Drink up," Mack instructed.

Ronnie walked back into the living room with a red cup full of alcohol.

Quinn looked around at the three of her friends and shrugged. "At least give me vodka, though; you know I hate beer."

* * *

><p>Quinn giggled when Ronnie's fingertips brushed a particularly sensitive rib as she lifted her out of the car. "Not there! Not there!"<p>

"Shut up!" Ronnie hissed, unable to hide a giggle of her own. "You're too loud."

"Quinn, are you sure you don't wanna make out before you leave?" Mack asked her as they all stumbled up the driveway of the Berry residence.

"Hmm, no, I'm good," Quinn said airily. "I'll just kiss Rachel when I see her."

Mack folded her arms tightly across her chest. Sheila went to Quinn's other side and hooked a hand under her arm, motioning for Ronnie to do the same. When they both did, they hoisted Quinn a little above the ground and dragged her more efficiently than she could even walk on her own.

"This is kinda fun," Quinn murmured.

Ronnie grunted. "For you, maybe."

They stopped at the door and Quinn pulled away, reaching a fist out to knock on the door when Mack snagged her away at the last second. "Are you stupid? Her fathers'll call the cops on us if you just knock on her door at one in the morning."

"But I wanna see Rachel," Quinn whined.

"Call her on your phone and tell her to come to the door," Sheila hissed.

Quinn reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out her phone. She blinked rapidly, shushing everyone around her because what she was about to do was going to require all of her focus. "Shh," she shushed them all as the phone began ringing.

It took three rings before Rachel finally picked up. "Hello?" she muttered groggily.

"Hi!"

"Quinn?"

She nodded. "Yep."

Rachel sighed. "Quinn, it's one in the morning; are you ill? Is something the matter at all?"

"I'm outside your door."

"What do you mean?" she asked frantically.

"I mean, it's winter outside so please open your door because even the alcohol in my veins won't keep me warm for long."

"Quinn, I—shit! Hold, please."

Quinn very nearly laughed because Rachel rarely swore aside from when the two of them were in bed. The door opened a moment later and Rachel stood there wide-eyed in a tank top and a pair of short shorts, staring at all of the people on her doorstep. "Hello…Skanks. While I appreciate that you've brought my girlfriend home…relatively safe," she said slowly, looking down at how Quinn was practically pitched forward, "I have to ask: why is she drunk?"

"We were hanging out," Mack said with a shrug.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Do you always have to get drunk when you hang out?"

"Not always. But it certainly livens things up." Ronnie gave Sheila a high five as they both laughed.

Quinn looked up at Rachel. "Can I come in now? I'm cold."

Rachel nodded hurriedly, reaching out and grabbing Quinn's hand to pull her inside safely. "Is your car parked outside?"

"Sheila's. She was the only sober one, so…"

"Then where is yours?"

"Mack's house. Couldn't drive."

Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "Okay, well, again, thank you all," she said to Mack, Sheila, and Ronnie. "Drive safely and I hope you all have a wonderful night."

"Bye, guys!"

Rachel shushed her and shut the door before grabbing Quinn's hand and tugging her along. "I cannot believe you drank tonight."

Quinn scoffed. "It's not like it's a school night."

Rachel pulled her along up the stairs and into her room, shutting the door and locking it behind her. "I'm glad you didn't knock on the door. That would have probably awoken my fathers."

Quinn smiled lazily. "Thank Mack. I was about to knock before she stopped me."

She watched as Quinn teetered her way to her bed, plopping down in her white dress and lounging back against her sheets. Rachel's eyes traced over her form. There was just something about Quinn in a white dress…

She cleared her throat, unable to help but smile at the goofy expression on Quinn's face. "What are you thinking about?"

Quinn's head lolled over to face her. "I'm glad I got to come over; I'm definitely spending the night."

"I don't think we have much of a choice," Rachel muttered. She ran a hand through her hair as she thought over their predicament. "I suppose I can get up tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off and drive you home before my fathers wake up. Then drive back here."

"But my car is at Mack's house."

"And where does Mack live?"

Quinn grinned. "On the other side of the train tracks."

Rachel blinked twice, hard. "I'll be driving you to _your_ house and if you want, you can call Mack to take you over to her house because I am not driving over there—someone could shoot me!"

Quinn laughed and turned onto her stomach to watch Rachel's legs walk towards her dresser. "You won't get shot."

"I will!" she defended. She rummaged through a set of drawers for sleepwear and turned around to walk back over to Quinn. Her throat dried up completely at the sight. Quinn's hair was mussed, falling wherever it wanted over the tips of her shoulders. Rachel's eyes followed the plane of her back to the swell of her ass—

"Rachel?" Quinn voiced softly.

Rachel broke out of her thoughts and smiled down at Quinn. "We should probably get you into some sleep clothes and in a warm bed. I don't want you to catch a cold."

Quinn hummed quietly, sitting up. "I think you just wanna see me naked."

She bit her lip, smiling coquettishly down at Quinn. "Possibly."

Quinn stood from the bed to her full height, towering over Rachel slightly. "All you had to do was ask." She hooked her fingers into the straps of her dress, sliding it over her shoulders. Rachel watched with rapt attention as a pale yellow strapless bra was revealed. The dress slid down her abs, over her hips and matching panties were revealed before the dress pooled to the floor. A strangled noise left Rachel as she took in the sight before her.

"How do I look?" Quinn husked, stepping closer until Rachel's chest brushed against her own with every inhale.

"I—you-you look sexy," was all Rachel could get out and Quinn grinned amusedly at how tongue tied she was. "You also should probably get dressed."

Quinn pouted down at her. "I don't want to put clothes on, Rachel."

Rachel couldn't even help but smile because she was so fucking cute right now that she almost wanted to give in. "At least put this shirt on, Quinn; I don't want you to be cold." She handed her a long, dark blue night shirt and Quinn begrudgingly took it. She slipped it over her head and wound her arms through it with minimal issue. "Happy?" she grumbled.

"Very. Now—" she pressed on her sternum softly until Quinn sat back down on the bed. Next, she kneeled in front of her, working on the shoelaces in her boots. Rachel's eyes concentrated on what she was doing until Quinn shifted and her legs parted. There was an inviting curve of the shirt along her thighs that begged Rachel to get a better look at what was under it. She breathed deeply, pulling Quinn's boots off before standing up. "Come on; let's go to bed."

Rachel crawled onto the bed and Quinn followed after her. She nestled under the blankets, looking up to find Quinn standing in the middle of her bed. "What are you doing?" she asked, amusement coloring her tone.

Quinn jumped in place three times before stopping, smirking down at Rachel. "Wanna jump with me?"

Rachel chuckled as Quinn jumped once more before slamming down into the soft mattress. "You're a mess, Quinn."

Quinn scrambled up the bed and under the covers, pulling them up to her chin. "I'm your mess."

The light of her lamp by her bedside illuminated everything faintly but Rachel didn't have the heart to turn it off because when Quinn turned towards her, she saw those hazel eyes, long eyelashes, cute, little nose, and pouted lips—it all felt more real with the lights on. "You are," she said warmly. "Though I loathe the fact that you're drunk, I'm glad that you're here."

Quinn's heavy lidded eyes flitted across Rachel's face. "I'm glad I'm here, too. I've wanted to sleep over your house for forever now."

"Me, too."

Her fingers reached out to smooth wavy brown hair behind Rachel's ear. She traced the side of her face softly. "I used to always be so afraid you'd leave me," she mused quietly.

Rachel's eyes widened at the soft admission. "What do you mean?"

Quinn's eyes took more time than normal to focus on Rachel. She blinked, as if coming out of her own thoughts. "I can't believe I said that out loud," she muttered to herself.

Rachel scooted closer, holding Quinn's hand against her cheek. "Why did you think I would leave you?"

"Because you're so talented," she sighed. "And amazing. And you know what you want and you're not afraid to get it. And I'm…I'm Quinn." She shrugged a little. "You'd get bored with me."

Rachel frowned at Quinn's line of logic that really wasn't logical at all. "Hey," she whispered. "Look at me."

Quinn's droopy eyes met hers endearingly and Rachel found herself falling in love all over again with the drunken girl in her bed. "I love you, okay? And I don't just love you like a we'll be together for a couple of months, have sex, then have a messy break up kind of love. I Rachel Berry love you."

Quinn's lips quirked up in a small laugh. "What does that mean?"

"It means that I love you so much my heart literally hurts every time I think about you and I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me, Quinn."

They lied there silently and Rachel sighed as Quinn's fingers trailed down her neck, watching her lips twist in thought before she muttered, "Is it a good kind of hurt?"

Rachel frowned in confusion. "Pardon?"

"Well, you said you love me so much that it makes your heart hurt," she slurred slightly, running a blunt nail down the length of Rachel's neck until she shivered. "Is the hurt good?"

She nodded with a shaky smile. "The hurt's good." She scooted closer as if to encourage Quinn's exploration, intertwining their legs and sliding an arm around her waist.

Quinn hummed quietly, her index finger tracing over Rachel's top lip. She shuffled closer. "Long as the hurt's good."

"I'm so glad you're here," Rachel sighed.

"Me, too." Her gaze dipped to her fingers trailing back down Rachel's throat. Rachel was so delicate there. Her skin was so soft and pliable yet she wouldn't even flinch when Quinn touched her there, pressed her fingers softly into her skin. "Mack was trying to get me to stay over but I'm glad I'm here."

Rachel's brow furrowed. "Were you guys having a sleepover?"

"Hmm, no. She just wanted to make out."

"With you?" she asked, voice rising an octave against her will.

Quinn shrugged with a nod.

Rachel stiffened and Quinn's eyes slowly slid up to her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she hissed. "What's wrong is one of your best friends wants to make out with you and you apparently aren't concerned."

"That's because we've done it before, so it's no big deal," were the words that slipped from her mouth when her brain to mouth filter didn't seem to be working. She winced, her eyes dipping lower to the fingers toying along tan skin as Rachel's mouth opened and closed in shock.

"You've kissed her before?" she asked quietly, sadly. "Quinn…"

"It wasn't—it's not like I liked it, okay?"

"Then it only happened once?"

She hung her head in shame. "No."

Rachel pulled Quinn's hand from her and flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. Was there _anyone _that Quinn hadn't made out with? And she knew it was unfair but first there was Puck kissing her and now there was her willingly making out with one of her friends and Rachel was getting sick of having to hear about her girlfriend kissing other people.

Quinn sighed quietly, scooting closer. She rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder, talking right against her ear. "It's not like we were together at the time," she murmured.

"That doesn't change the fact that you've made out with one of your best friends and now she wants you."

"She doesn't want me. She's not even gay. Or bi," she added. "She just wants to make out. And she has a phone full of _male_ contacts she can call; it's not like she'll be checking for me every time I go over there. She just asked because she was drunk, that's all."

Rachel bit her lip, fingers playing with the comforter pulled up to her chest. "I just don't like that everyone wants you," she heard herself mumble. "You're supposed to be mine."

"I am yours."

She turned to Quinn. "Are you?"

Quinn scooted closer and brushed her lips softly against Rachel's. "I thought about you when I made out with her; how's that for me being yours?"

"Did you really?" she asked hopefully.

"Her lips weren't nearly as soft as yours are. So, don't get all insecure on me now; you're supposed to Rachel Berry love me, remember?"

Rachel chuckled softly, turning away from the distracting smile on Quinn's face to look back down at her fingers. "I do Rachel Berry love you."

"And I Quinn Fabray love you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'll be a pain in your ass but what I feel for you, I don't feel for anyone else. And that I may fuck up but I also learn not to do it again."

Rachel lied there, absorbing Quinn's words. That was exactly how she had always thought of Quinn. She was loyal and she often times learned things the hard way, but she had a good heart and now that Rachel understood her a lot better, she didn't doubt that Quinn loved her, had loved her all this time.

"Are you mad at me?" Quinn asked, chin bumping Rachel's shoulder with every word.

Rachel sighed, turning to face her. "Baby, no. I'm not mad at you." She froze completely, blushing furiously as the term of endearment slipped from her lips without hesitation. She had wanted to call Quinn that for so long and just didn't know how to voice it. And of course, to her utter embarrassment, she had blurted it out at one-thirty in the morning in bed with her drunken girlfriend.

Quinn's eyes lit up in the dim room and seemed to glow at Rachel's words. "What did you call me?"

"I—" she couldn't hear anything over the pounding of her heart and the blood rushing through her head. Her face warmed even more and she angled her head away in embarrassment, hoping Quinn didn't remember this tomorrow.

Quinn leaned over further to hover over Rachel, a large grin on her face. "I think you called me baby," she purred lowly into her ear.

Goosebumps rose along tan skin at Quinn's tone of voice. Rachel felt warm lips kiss along her neck and squirmed. "That was quite the surprise," Quinn murmured into her flesh. Her teeth grazed along the base of her neck and Rachel groaned.

"Does that mean I get to call you baby?" Quinn asked.

She nodded, pushing a harsh breath through her nose as Quinn kissed her deeply behind her ear. "_Baby_," Quinn crooned into her ear. She nipped harshly at her earlobe and Rachel's hips shifted, the mattress groaning quietly beneath her. That one word was unwinding her completely; she had had no clue it would sound so hot coming from Quinn. She turned around and grabbed the back of Quinn's neck, pulling her down into a hard kiss.

Quinn smirked against the bruising force of Rachel's kiss. Her tongue dipped into Rachel's mouth as she settled more fully on top of her. She tasted like strawberry and a hint of cherry instead of alcohol and Rachel couldn't help but wonder it that was for her benefit; she sucked Quinn's tongue the way she liked and swallowed her moan. Quinn pulled back to nose a trail along her neck. "I love you, _baby_."

Rachel reached out and clutched at wild blonde hair as Quinn's teeth sank softly into her collarbone. "I love you, too," she panted.

The palm of Quinn's hand slid to rest along Rachel's hip, toying with her tank top. Rachel looked down to the smoldering look Quinn was giving her, her thighs slowly parting. Nimble fingers slid under her top and palmed the warm weight of her breast in her hand. Quinn kneaded her softly, squeezing and circling her areola until her thumb brushed a hardened peak.

Rachel panted out a whine when a thumb and index finger closed around her nipple. Quinn grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up and over her head easily. "Baby," she murmured. She leaned down and wrapped her lips around a dusky nipple, reveling in the way Rachel's back arched.

"Baby," Rachel answered with a moan, running her fingers through Quinn's hair affectionately.

Quinn closed her teeth around a hard nipple, tugging a little at the same time she pinched Rachel's other nipple hard.

"Fuck," she breathed. Rachel's hips shifted to the right as if seeking out Quinn's own.

Quinn scooted closer, hooking a leg over Rachel's. "I'd love to fuck you, _baby_."

"I want you to," Rachel whimpered, feeling wetness pool between her thighs. She cried out when Quinn pinched her nipple before tugging it.

Her hand reached down and slid into Rachel's shorts and panties without pretense. She bit her lip as her fingers became coated in warm fluid. "Fuck," she groaned, resting her forehead against Rachel's temple. "_Baby_, you're so wet."

She just knew she was going to come if Quinn kept calling her baby. She could feel those long, delicate fingers playing over her, the tantalizing way Quinn's smooth calf slid along her own and she whined again as her hips kept meeting those fingers.

Quinn pulled back and leaned down to kiss Rachel deeply. The alcohol coursing through her veins and the feel of Rachel squirming below her had her feeling the best she had ever felt. She nibbled on Rachel's bottom lip, fingers tracing her entrance before sliding back up and working her clit in circles. Her touch alluded to prior experience, but it was of no surprise to Rachel. And she couldn't even bring herself to care because Quinn was in _her_ bed, touching _her_ softly in a way that let her know this was just as important to Quinn as it was to her.

"I want to be inside of you so badly, Rachel," she moaned as Rachel dripped even more wetness onto her waiting fingers, abdominals tensing with each thrust of her hips.

"I want you inside," Rachel begged as she gazed down and watched Quinn's hand escape her vision inside of her panties, the unmistakable movements it was making. She moaned loudly, throwing her head back when Quinn applied more pressure to her clit. "Please, Quinn, inside."

Quinn's eyes clenched shut because hearing Rachel beg her for this was sending clarity through her quicker than simply sleeping the alcohol off could.

"Rachel—"

"Quinn, make love to me."

"_Baby_," she growled pointedly, flexing a finger. Rachel trembled beneath her. "You need to think about this."

Rachel chuckled breathlessly. "I've done nothing _but _think about this. For months, years."

It was true and they both knew it. Quinn sighed. "This isn't a decision that should be made and executed in the same night."

"Quinn, I—" she licked her lips, panting up at her with heavy lidded eyes that showed surprising clarity. "Quinn, I've never been more aroused than I am right now," she said lowly.

A shiver rolled through Quinn at the declaration. She had fantasized about taking Rachel so many times that it seemed almost cruel to have the opportunity right in front of her and not take it. "I can get you off," she said hoarsely. "If this is about you simply wanting to come then—"

"It's not," Rachel said softly. She reached up to cup Quinn's cheeks in her hands, looking her in the eye. "Quinn, this isn't simply about me being horny. This isn't simple at all. This is about me loving you—baby, I love you more than anything." Quinn watched as tears welled in her eyes and suddenly everything felt so _real_ and important. It always did with Rachel. "And I-I just…I need you," she whispered.

She leaned down and kissed away the tear on Rachel's cheek, working the fingers in her panties with more purpose. "Make love to me, Quinn, please," Rachel whispered against her lips.

"I will," she whispered back. She felt so nervous to be touching Rachel Berry this way. She felt embarrassed by how much she was enjoying this until the long moan that ripped from Rachel's throat told her Rachel fucking loved this.

There wasn't any need for more foreplay. Rachel didn't even want any and protested when Quinn started to remove her hand from down her shorts. "Like this," she told her, licking her lips. "Just like this."

Quinn smiled because something about this setup was so perfect and so _them._ They didn't need more foreplay because the years they had spent dancing around each other had been enough. This had been a long time coming. "Are you sure?" Quinn asked. "Remember twenty-five."

Rachel chuckled quietly. "Am I sure? Do you feel how wet I am for you?"

She moaned quietly, burying her face into Rachel's neck. "And you want this with the half-drunk blonde girl that used to bully you?"

Quinn was giving her an opportunity to take in the big picture and Rachel knew it. However, she couldn't help but challenge back, "You're sure you want the virginity of the outcast, loser of McKinley High?"

Quinn groaned into Rachel's neck as the tip of her finger slid in and she felt inner muscles clench and try to bring her in. "I'm so sure."

Rachel twisted her fingers into the hair at the nape of Quinn's neck, tugging her closer until they were pressed together completely. Her other hand wrapped around her waist. "I'm ready," she murmured, trembling in Quinn's arms.

Quinn pulled back to hover over Rachel with a small smile, kissing her on the lips. They both looked down and Quinn couldn't resist pulling Rachel's shorts and panties down her legs to at least see some of her. There was so much soft, golden, unblemished skin. She made a vow to herself to strip Rachel one day soon and tongue her entire body down. There was a small triangle of short, dark curls that she couldn't resist running her fingers through. Rachel giggled quietly in her ear, moaning when Quinn gripped and gave a small tug.

She rubbed against her clit one last time before dipping down to Rachel's entrance. "I love you, baby," she whispered, slowly pushing one finger inside.

Rachel swore there was a myriad of musical scores resounding through her mind as Quinn slipped inside of her.

She moaned throatily at the intimate feel of Quinn's finger moving through her. She could feel herself clench and pull to get more of her. Her eyebrows knitted together, dark eyes becoming lost behind eyelids. "More," she breathed.

Quinn didn't hesitate in sliding another finger inside and, "Fuck, you're so tight," was out of her mouth before she could think otherwise.

She moaned louder at her words, tightening further and choking Quinn's fingers. Quinn slowly pulled out, allowing Rachel to feel it all before slowly thrusting back in.

Rachel grunted as those fingers filled her, reaching deeper than she had ever gone when she had spent nights thinking of Quinn and pleasuring herself.

Quinn stopped, allowing Rachel to accommodate her fingers, but a strangled, "Please keep going," made her start up again. _Everything_, Quinn could feel _everything_—the ridges of Rachel's walls, her contracting muscles begging her silently, the steady rise and fall of Rachel's hips.

Rachel panted quietly beneath her, her eyes half closed in pleasure, focusing on the tendons flexing in Quinn's wrist and the fingers moving in and out of her. She moaned softly when she saw her own wetness glistening off of Quinn's fingers in the dimly lit room. Then those fingers _curled_ inside of her and she was gasping and arching, spots of colors appearing behind her eyelids. She clutched Quinn closer to her as she stoked the fires low in her belly.

"Quinn, I think I-I think I'm close."

"All summer I've thought about doing this to you," Quinn murmured in her ear. Rachel's fingers flexed against the nape of her neck and she moaned deeply, thrusting harder into her.

"_Yes_," Rachel hissed.

"I thought about how hot and tight and wet you'd be but, _baby_," she crooned with a smirk on her face. "My fantasies didn't do you justice. They never do."

Her fingers swiped Rachel's hardened clit and Rachel bowed off the bed with a hoarse cry. Just when she thought things couldn't get better—

"Say my name, _baby_," Quinn growled into her ear, twisting her fingers within her.

Rachel wheezed out a surprised breath as pleasure began to unfurl. Those musical scores bouncing around in her head hit a crescendo. Her breath hitched, and hitched, and hitched, and hitched _more,_ and then, "_Quinn_," tore from her throat in a high-pitched whine as her head tossed back, dark hair splaying across her pillows.

Quinn watched her through the hair that stuck to her forehead and had fallen over her eyes. Rachel was desperately clutching her and the pillow below her, rolling her hips slowly to meet Quinn's hand and ride out the rest of her orgasm.

Before she even had a chance to catch her breath Quinn's lips were on hers with enough force to push her through the mattress. Rachel moaned as she tasted herself in Quinn's kiss. "I love you," she mumbled feebly as she pulled back.

Quinn hummed quietly, licking at her lips fervently. She teetered a little before plopping down on top of Rachel with a yawn. Rachel grunted at the impact as Quinn mumbled, "Love you, too." Her eyes slipped shut against her will. When she felt Rachel shift underneath her, she muttered, "Don't even think about it."

She could feel Rachel's chest rise and fall with a big exhale. "But I want you," she grumbled, reaching down and tugging Quinn's shirt.

Quinn cracked her eyes open to look up at her. "Rachel, I'm sleepy. And honestly, if you start now I'll probably fall asleep during. Then I'll wake back up because of your sniffling, and open my eyes to see you crying because you'll think you're not good and that's why I've fallen asleep. Can we just avoid all of this?"

It was a pretty astute prediction of what would happen if they were to continue and they both knew it. Rachel sighed in disappointment, flopping back down on the bed and curling her arms around Quinn. "We're doing this again soon."

"The sooner the better," Quinn admitted.

Rachel grinned. "Goodnight, _baby_."

Quinn chuckled a little, reaching up to curl her fingers along a tan shoulder. "Goodnight, _baby._"

Rachel giggled, wondering how Quinn would act the next day when the alcohol stopped making her act like a goofball. She pressed a kiss against her hair and pulled the blankets over them, snuggling further into the mattress.


	20. Chapter 20

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**NC-17

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>Rachel felt different when she woke up five hours later after she pressed snooze on her alarm more times than she could count. She lied on her back silently, staring at the ceiling as images of how Quinn hovered above her just hours before seared through her mind. All the things she had whispered in her ear made Rachel feel beautiful and sexy and <em>wanted.<em> Quinn Fabray, the prettiest girl she had _ever _met, wanted _her_, Rachel Berry, thought about her, fantasized about her and—just a few hours ago—fucked her until Rachel was trembling and keening in her arms.

She couldn't help but remember the conversation—well, _argument_-she had had with Quinn nearly four months ago that consisted of her virginity and whether or not Quinn was going to be the one to have it instead of Finn.

"_Do you wanna fuck or not?"_

"_No!"_

Rachel rubbed the sleep from her eyes with a small chuckle. Couldn't help but laugh because the way they had talked to each other that day in the girls' bathroom had been so callous and careless and the way Quinn said 'fuck' that day wasn't _at __all _like the way she purred that word into Rachel's ear and managed to make it sound like something appealing instead of something crude.

"_That's why I can't make love to you and have you just walk away from it like it was nothing; that would break me, Quinn. Do you have any idea…"_

Her head instantly jerked to the side to find Quinn lying there asleep. She felt silly for the small wave of panic that coursed through her. Of course Quinn was still there. She had drank who knows how much alcohol last night, made love to her, and couldn't even keep her own eyes open long enough for Rachel to return the favor. She wasn't gone and Rachel's heart fluttered at the thought. But she was still curious to how Quinn would act once she awoke.

Her dark gaze roved over the girl next to her. Quinn had grumbled and turned away from her—after having spent hours curled up under Rachel's chin—about the third time Rachel had pressed the snooze on her alarm. Rachel couldn't see any part of her face but her chin, blonde hair having fallen wildly along her face. Her gaze fell to the long expanse of the pale, creamy skin of her throat. The rest of her body was obscured under the blankets wrapped tightly around her. She looked so beautiful and peaceful that Rachel couldn't help but wish she could make love to Quinn and wake up beside her every morning.

And that was another thing.

_Making__ love_ to Quinn.

Oh, how badly she wanted to fuck the blonde in her bed right now.

She reached out tentatively and smoothed back blonde hair behind Quinn's ear to get a good look at her. Quinn sighed quietly, scooting closer as if, even in her sleep, she could feel the inviting warmth that the palm of Rachel's hand had to offer.

Rachel trailed her fingers lower, tracing Quinn's lips. Those same lips that she couldn't help but wonder about how good they would feel eating her out. She frowned at herself. She had only been up for fifteen minutes and all she had thought of was sex.

Reluctantly rolling away, Rachel stood from the bed, grabbed a towel, wash cloth and a pair of sweats and walked to her bathroom.

Her shower was cold, both waking her up and quelling the fire in her belly. She washed the sleep from her eyes and the cooled sweat from her skin from her…earlier activities. She brushed her teeth and slung on the pair of sweats, knowing it would be below freezing outside when she would finally make it to the car to drive Quinn home.

The door opened and steam blew into her bedroom as Rachel stepped out of the bathroom. Her gaze instantly fell on Quinn whom had turned over onto her side, facing away from her. Rachel smiled, putting her towel and night clothes into a hamper before climbing back into bed.

She settled snuggly behind Quinn, her sex pressed tightly against her girlfriend's ass as she wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled until Quinn was closer, grumbling at being awoken. "Baby," Rachel murmured beside her ear. "You have to wake up."

"No."

Rachel kissed her earlobe softly, taking it between her teeth and pulling. She was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath. "I have to take you home." Her hand ran along the plane of Quinn's stomach, dipping low every once in a while.

"I'm already home."

She smiled, despite herself. "While I'm inclined to agree, the law says otherwise." She reached down and under the long shirt she had given Quinn to sleep in to cup the seat of her panties, moaning quietly.

Quinn hummed at the sound that dripped from Rachel's mouth. "I'm eighteen; I'm old enough for—" she stopped abruptly. Rachel felt Quinn tense in her arms and immediately noticed the change in her. She pulled back, Quinn instantly sitting up and turning around to look at her.

Rachel sat up as well. "What's wrong, Quinn?"

She waited with baited breath for her to respond, but a response wasn't forthcoming. She fidgeted a little but then Quinn looked at her. Like, _looked_ at her. Those piercing hazel eyes raked knowingly from dark brown eyes to the expanse of Rachel's throat, down her torso and lingered between her legs before meeting Rachel's eyes again. The once over left Rachel's body burning—the _way_ Quinn looked at her so intimately as if she knew Rachel's body inside and out.

Then, Quinn looked away. Her fingers combed through her hair, then she rested her chin in her hand. "I—did I force you, or—"

"Stop," Rachel cut in sharply. Her voice was cold and unyielding because she _was__ not _about to allow Quinn to continue with that train of thought. "How much do you remember?"

Quinn's eyes closed tightly, images assaulting her mind. "Everything," she whispered.

Her voice teetered on a moan yet held reservations that Rachel didn't understand. She shifted closer, slinking an arm around Quinn's waist. "H-how do you feel about it?" she asked timidly.

Quinn turned to look at her, then. She saw the worried expression in Rachel's wide eyes and deflated her tense posture almost immediately. "How do _you_ feel about it?"

Rachel licked her lips nervously. She was never good at lying and was prepared to tell Quinn just exactly how she felt. She just hoped Quinn felt the same way. "Last night was the best night of my life," she whispered, her fingers flexing and digging slightly into Quinn's waist. "I-I've never felt so loved and-and _wanted_ and safe. And the pleasure…" Quinn watched in awe as a shiver rolled through Rachel's body. "I've never felt anything like that."

Her gaze slipped away and she groaned quietly in annoyance. "I was drunk, Rachel. I—was I even any good? I was probably sloppy and uncoordinated."

"I thought you said you remembered last night," Rachel said amusedly.

"I'm serious," Quinn sighed. "I promised you I'd make your first time special. I even described to you the-the…_stuff_—" she didn't even know why she was blushing considering she remembered everything she had whispered in Rachel's ear last night and could admit to herself that she would have probably said the same things sober, but it was kind of embarrassing right now. She took a calming breath. "I described everything I would do to you and you-you never said anything, but I'm _sure _you relied on me to make your first time special, should that day come and—"

Soft lips brushed against her cheek. "Hey," Rachel whispered. "Look at me."

Quinn angled towards Rachel, meeting her eyes.

"I enjoyed last night."

"I was drunk," Quinn deadpanned.

"And I properly scolded you for that." Rachel offered a gentle smile. "But even though you were drunk, even though I begged you to make love to me, you still stopped to make sure _I_ was sure, to make sure I was ready. And I _was_. And you know something else?"

Against her will, Rachel's gentle voice lulled Quinn into a state of calm. She sat there silently, listening to her and shook her head when Rachel asked her a question.

"You took me," she whispered tremblingly, "and held me against you while I came just like you promised you would."

Quinn bit her lip, listening to how shaky Rachel's voice was and the effect just talking about last night was having on her. "And you-you enjoyed it, right?"

"Very much so."

"And you liked it when I called you baby?"

The corner of her mouth lifted into a smirk. "Did you like it when I called _you_ baby?"

She blushed a little, but nodded. "I really liked last night," Quinn added quietly.

Rachel pushed out a relieved breath, hugging Quinn closer. "Really?"

"I had thought about being with you for longer than I care to admit, Rachel. Of course I liked it."

Rachel smiled happily and nuzzled just under Quinn's ear, placing a kiss there.

"Are you sure you don't regret it?" Quinn asked heavily. "I would hate—"

"I don't regret it," Rachel promised quietly. "You took care of me, Quinn. You were perfect. _We_ were perfect."

She felt Quinn relax completely in her arms and inhaled deeply, curling tighter around Quinn before kissing her just under her ear again. She heard a quiet sigh and kissed her deeper, scooting closer until she had one leg draped across Quinn's lap and the other curling behind her. Her fingers tugged on Quinn's top until she could dance her greedy fingers underneath.

"Rachel," Quinn breathed.

"I want you," she mumbled against her flesh. She pulled yellow lace panties away and inched her fingers inside until she was met with wet, warm heat. She groaned. "I wanted this last night but you fell asleep."

Quinn barely fought against the fingers inexpertly playing through her folds. She trembled with a long moan. "We can't now."

Rachel sighed loudly against the side of her face. "We don't have enough time, do we?"

"Not to mention that I feel dirty as sin."

Her face scrunched up. "Okay, what does _that_ mean?"

"It means that I can taste stale alcohol on my breath, I probably have the most unsightly bags under my eyes, eye crud _in_ my eyes, and I'd also really like to shower because my underwear is sticking to me in all the wrong places."

Rachel hummed a quiet laugh against her ear, reveling in Quinn's shiver as she said, "I have a spare toothbrush and panties if you want them."

"That would be great."

They didn't move for another two minutes and even then Rachel reluctantly let Quinn go freshen up. The door to her bathroom closed and she plopped back down on her bed, staring after Quinn. She didn't know where this sudden _need _to just be under Quinn—figuratively, of course—all the time came from. But she found that even the twenty minutes Quinn spent in the bathroom was too long.

When Quinn finally came out in her bra and the panties given to her, Rachel watched from the bed as Quinn walked over and picked up her dress. She watched what was basically a rewind of last night—the dress slid up supple thighs, over shapely hips, over defined abs, up small, perky breasts and the straps were placed on her shoulders.

Quinn felt her heated gaze on her the entire time and smirked, looking up at her as the palms of her hands smoothed down her dress _thoroughly_. "What's wrong?"

Rachel squirmed a little on the bed and sat up to face Quinn, crossing her legs. "Nothing."

Quinn sat down on the edge of her bed, grabbing a boot and sliding her foot inside. She felt the bed dip as Rachel settled behind her. Her hair was swooped to one side, hot, wet kisses being pressed to the back of her neck. She whimpered at the feel of even teeth scraping against the back of her neck. "No fair," she panted.

Rachel eased up, allowing Quinn to put her boots on but continued to rain kisses across her neck. Her palms flattened against Quinn's stomach, slowly pulling upwards until she was cupping her breasts in her hands.

Quinn bit her lip to stifle a moan as she tied the laces of her other boot. Her feet thudded against the floor and she stood up quickly, spinning around to tower over her girlfriend.

Rachel swallowed thickly at the smoldering look Quinn was giving her. The same look Quinn gave her last night right before she shoved her hand down her pants. She leaned back slightly, her thighs unconsciously parting as Quinn leaned down between them, planting both hands on the bed to get eye level with Rachel. "There's teasing," she said roughly. "And then there's torture."

Her face burned in embarrassment at the almost annoyed look on Quinn's face. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

But then Quinn just leaned forward and kissed her crazy and all was forgotten as Rachel melted into the mattress. She pulled back and leaned in to kiss Rachel again. And again. And Rachel giggled when she did it a third time but she just did it again and again some more.

An alarm went off in the background and Rachel jolted at the sudden sound. Quinn didn't seem to care though because she just grabbed Rachel by the back of the neck and pulled her closer.

"Baby," Rachel mumbled around heated kisses. "It's time for us to go."

"But I'm just getting started."

Rachel chuckled breathlessly as Quinn moved down to her neck and dug her fingers into her hair, pulling her back up. "Trust me," she muttered, sucking on Quinn's bottom lip, "I would love nothing more than to do this with you all day and to finally get the chance to make love to you. But my fathers are going to wake up in about an hour and—"

Quinn sprang up from the bed in an instant. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Rachel shot her a dubious expression. "That's what I've been trying to tell you." She hopped off the bed and walked over to her nightstand, turning off the blaring alarm. She turned back to Quinn. "Are you ready to go?"

She nodded, eyes fully dilated, chest heaving, lips swollen and red. She looked more like she was ready to come than go.

Rachel walked over to her and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "Soon, I promise."

"Okay," Quinn whispered.

"Do you love me?"

She nodded.

Rachel grinned. "Do you Quinn Fabray love me?"

The reference didn't catch on right away, but Rachel could tell when it did. A slow blush inflamed Quinn's face as she scoffed and looked away. "I can't believe all the things I said last night."

Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist and pulled her closer. "It was sweet."

"It was embarrassing."

"It explained a lot about you," Rachel murmured, placing a placating kiss below Quinn's jaw. "I understand you a lot better now."

"Yeah, yeah."

Rachel looked up at her. "I Rachel Berry love you."

Quinn inhaled a shaky breath. Her hands hesitated at her sides before she reached up and softly cupped Rachel's cheeks in her hands, looking down at those brown eyes that were always so open and honest with her. "Promise?" she breathed faintly.

"I swear."

Quinn just nodded, not trusting her voice to stay steady if she spoke another word. She leaned down and kissed Rachel squarely on the lips.

* * *

><p>It had been precisely three days since Quinn had taken Rachel's virginity and it had been torture. It was all she found herself thinking about. How tight Rachel was, the sounds she made—it was all so much better than her fantasies could ever be. She just wished she hadn't been drunk during. She wished Rachel would have told her in advance that she was going to be feeling particularly frisky that night. Quinn would have foregone spending time with her friends and made love to her all night. Or until Leroy knocked on Rachel's door and kicked Quinn out for the night until the next day.<p>

She groaned quietly at the never ending dull ache that had taken residence between her legs and walked towards her locker, spinning the combination, and opening it. A surprised giggle tore from her throat before she could even stop it. A single red rose laid in her locker with a small note attached to it. She bit the corner of her lip, hiding an enamored smile as she opened the letter.

_Quinn,_

_I can't stop thinking about what you and I shared Friday night. I know you're afraid that I regret it and that you've failed me, but it truly was the best night of my life. I can't express that or my love for you nearly enough as I already do. But I have all the time in the world to tell you how in love with you I am. I hope you like the rose I left in your locker. :)_

_I Rachel Berry love you (That means forever.),_

_Rachel Berry_

_P.S. I simply cannot wait for the opportunity to make love to you, Quinn. It's all I think about._

Her throat dried up as she read the last of the note and that dull ache between her legs flared to life and liquefied against her will. She reached into the locker, running long fingers along the pedals of the rose lying across her cardigan.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Q?"

She growled quietly in annoyance, slamming her locker shut. "Nothing, Santana." She really wasn't in the mood today.

"Berry giving you flowers now? How sweet," she cooed smarmily.

Quinn's eyes narrowed aggravatingly. "Get bent."

"Get laid."

"Are you done?"

Santana glared right back at her for about another five seconds before she broke out into a shit eating grin. "What are you doing this weekend?"

Quinn peeled off the row of lockers and began walking forward, trusting her former second in command to follow. "I don't know."

"Then come hang with me and B."

"Don't know if I'll feel like it."

"What's got your panties in a bunch?"

"Nothing!" She spun around to face Santana. "Look, I have class. I'll talk to you later."

She spun back around and walked into the classroom, leaving Santana dumbfounded.

"Chicks," Santana grumbled. "So annoying…"

* * *

><p>"I, as President, call for this meeting to begin."<p>

Rachel looked around the empty room. "Kurt, we're the only ones here. Again. As we always are because this is strictly a president, vice president meeting."

Kurt grinned. "I know, but it's awesome when I do that, right?"

She rolled her eyes, collecting the papers on her desk and stacking them into a neat pile.

"So, I was thinking…"

That was as far as she got when it came to listening to Kurt propose an idea for a fundraiser. She was wondering if Quinn got her flower and card. If Quinn liked it, if Quinn read the note Rachel had written her and whether or not it had been reassuring.

Then she started thinking of things that really weren't necessary considering her current setting. She thought of Quinn's hands, thought of those long, dexterous fingers holding and opening the note, tracing along rose pedals, trailing up her thigh, sliding into her—

"Rachel!"

Her gaze snapped up to Kurt abruptly. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered, feeling her face burn. "You were saying?"

Kurt's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Have you even written anything down?"

She took a deep breath, hoping there was at least _something_ written down on the paper in front of her. When she looked down, a blank sheet of white paper stared mockingly back at her. She looked back up at Kurt. "Could you run your thoughts by me one more time?"

He continued to eye her in suspicion, but began talking anyway. "As I was saying, I was thinking we could have a carwash to raise money for our class. You remember how the Cheerios do every year? Something like…"

It was happening again because _fuck_, Quinn used to be a Cheerio and how flexible would she be? How wide could her legs spread when Rachel finally settled between them? They could probably spread really wide. Quinn could probably do things that her tenth grade perpetuated squeaky clean image would never allude to.

But they weren't sophomores anymore. They were seniors and Quinn wasn't even _trying _to be that 'good girl' she was back then and it turned Rachel on more than anything.

"Rachel, what on earth are you thinking about that's distracting you so badly?"

She didn't even bother to hide her blush because she knew it inflamed her whole face. She squirmed a little in her seat, restacking her papers again. "I'm sorry."

Kurt's critical gaze washed over her face slowly. He walked closer to stand in front of her desk, taking in her flushed face and fidgeting posture. "My _goodness,_ you've had sex!" he exclaimed scandalously.

"What are you talking about?" she asked hysterically, wondering if a nose bleed was close by.

Kurt slapped a hand to his slackened jaw in shock. "I know the signs. I mean, you suck at listening half the time, but you've always taken this job very seriously; you're never distracted."

She swallowed tightly. She was certainly distracted today.

"So, you and Quinn?" he stage whispered.

Rachel couldn't help but grin, nodding eagerly. "Three days ago."

Kurt squealed and spun around in a circle. "Why didn't you tell me! I told you about me and Blaine."

"I've just wanted to keep it to myself," she murmured with a smile. "It—I—I had never known such…_intimacy_, Kurt. I mean, she was…" she trailed off with a blush, unable to believe how she was going to finish that sentence.

Kurt sported an impressed, if only a little uncomfortable, smile. "And how did Miss Quinn like it?"

Her smile dimmed a little. "I think she regrets it."

"Why? Was it because of your performance? Because at first I was wondering if Blaine was more into masturbation than me but he eventually proved otherwise in a _big_ way. And I mean big—"

Rachel clamped her hands over her ears. "Kurt, as much as I love you, I don't know if I can look at Blaine the same way again if you give me more details."

He pressed his fingers to his mouth apologetically. "Why does Quinn regret having sex with you?" he mumbled around his fingers.

"I—you mustn't judge her," she prefaced, knowing how judgemental her friend could be.

"Scout's honor."

"You aren't a boy scout."

"Less negating, more explaining."

She took a deep breath. "Quinn was under the influence when we made love." She cringed because it sounded so much worse than what it had actually been. It had been _good_, so amazing but having to explain it—no one would understand.

Kurt waved her off. "Girl, please. Two days before Blaine and I actually had sex he tried to get me to have sex with him in my car parked outside of the bar he had spent the night getting drunk and dancing with another guy in."

Rachel eyes widened as her hand flew through her mouth. She giggled. "You never told me _that_."

"Because it didn't matter." Kurt smiled. "He was such a goofball when he was drunk."

Rachel nodded with a fond smile. "So was Quinn."

"I didn't have sex with him that night because we were outside of a bar, in a car, and some other guy had been flirting with him. It wasn't the right time to me. It was too—lustful," he said thoughtfully. "There were no feelings."

"I gave myself to Quinn because I—she was so _open _and honest and I felt that we were really on the same page, you know?"

"She had to be drunk for that?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Not necessarily. But…we had professed our love for each other in a way that we never had before and that meant something to me. It just felt like one of those moments when you say to yourself, 'this has to happen right now.'" She bit her lip in thought.

"Tell her that," he said softly. "Maybe she's not looking at it from the same angle you are."

"She's looking at it like she cheapened my first time by being drunk and that's not it _at __all._"

"She's old fashioned," Kurt said with a shrug. "Things like virginity and first times are important to traditional people like her."

"And her first time was awful," Rachel interjected. "She was probably really trying hard to make sure that—when she and I crossed that line—she would make it special for me in the way Noah didn't make it special for her…" she trailed off as her lips curved into a smile. "I have an idea," she said slowly. Light bulbs were awesome.

"What's your idea?" Kurt asked curiously.

Rachel just smiled enigmatically.

* * *

><p>She told herself not to do this. She didn't want to be reduced to doing <em>this<em> but there was a flower in her locker this morning; the most romantic thing anyone had never done for her and there was a note in Rachel's penmanship telling her exactly how much her girlfriend wanted her.

_This_ was the only thing she could possibly do to get rid of the tension in her body.

Quinn slid her hand down her sleep shorts. She was so wet already that her fingers were practically bathed. She circled her entrance the way she had circled Rachel's and groaned, imagining how Rachel arched and sobbed and begged for it.

Rachel was so shameless.

Quinn fucking loved it.

She dragged her drenched fingers through her lips and up to circle her clit slowly. Her hips pumped just as slowly into her hand, drawing herself out, pulling herself more and more taut until she would just snap and flood the way Rachel did.

"Shit," she breathed quietly to herself at the first touch to her hardened clit directly when it popped out of its hood. Her eyes fluttered shut.

She slid a hand under her shirt to thumb a nipple. She pinched it hard and cried out softly, her back bowing off the bed. Her nail dragged across her pebbled nipple and she shuddered, pushing two fingers into herself because she couldn't take it anymore.

They slid in easily, gripping her tightly as Rachel's walls gripped her. Would Rachel love being inside of her as much as she had loved being inside of Rachel? She moaned throatily at the mere thought.

Her phone rang and vibrated against her nightstand and she released a shuddery breath of frustration. The ringtone had Rachel's name all over it. Quinn's left hand reluctantly let go of the breast that was squeezed in its palm to fumble around for the phone. She couldn't have been bothered to remove her other hand or stop her hips from rocking because she was so hard up and her palm slapping into her clit sent jolts that rocked her hips faster and made her whimper more.

"Hello?" she rasped into the phone.

"Quinn? Is that you?"

She chuckled throatily, unable to help but curl her fingers to the sound of Rachel's voice. She could barely bite back a moan. "Hey, baby," she breathed.

On the other side of town Rachel shivered violently at her tone of voice. She hadn't heard Quinn sound like that since—wait a minute. "What are you doing?"

Quinn stilled her fingers immediately. She almost cried out in frustration because she was close enough for her frustration to mount but far enough that she wouldn't have been able to get herself off within the next few seconds. "I'm watching TV."

"Quinn," Rachel began lowly. Quinn swallowed hard at the raspy quality her voice had taken on. "What are you really doing?"

She swallowed air down her dry throat again, eyes clenching shut. "I'm touching myself," she muttered, the blush dancing along her cheeks now more from embarrassment than arousal.

"Quinn," she groaned quietly. "I—fuck, that's so hot. H-how close are you?" she stammered, arousal shooting straight through her. She didn't know Quinn Fabray did things like this.

A surprised breath whooshed through Quinn because she had expected Rachel to be grossed out, not turned on. "Closer now that I've heard your voice," she admitted, testing the waters.

Rachel turned to look out of the window in the car she was sitting in, checking to make sure her fathers were far, far away. "What are you doing?"

Quinn pulled out _slowly_, fucking her fingers back into herself. "I already told you," she moaned.

"Where are your hands, Quinn?"

"One in my pants."

"Are you inside of yourself?" Rachel choked out.

"_Yes_," she whimpered on a particularly hard curl of her fingers. Her fingers fisted and twisted into her bed sheets.

Rachel groaned at the image that was quickly building itself in her head. Quinn, back arching off the bed with a hand down her shorts, wild blonde hair and flushed cheeks. "I want to be inside of you."

"I want you to be," she panted. Her wet, sticky fingers slowly slid out of her and worked her hardened clit into quick circles before diving back into her again. "Rachel," she moaned as her back arched. "So good."

Rachel sat up in her seat, clutching the phone closer. "How many fingers are you using?"

"Two," she whined.

"Is that what you normally like?"

"Normally," she panted. "Sometimes three."

Rachel licked her lips as her eyes slid shut. "Fuck," she breathed, imagining stretching Quinn around three fingers. "I—can you come soon?" she asked. Her dark eyes opened to peer out the window again.

Quinn's fingers slowed at the question. "Where are you?" she countered, dragging her fingers along the length of her to pinch her clit. Her thighs trembled.

"In the car at a bowling alley," Rachel answered lowly. "Family night out. Dad and daddy ran into a high school friend, so they're off talking." She turned away from the two of them, staring off into seemingly nothing as Quinn's breathy whimpers grew closer and closer together. "I need you to come, Quinn."

"Rachel, I want you," she moaned. She slammed her fingers back into herself, picking up pace. "I—tell me it wasn't a mistake."

"It wasn't," Rachel said softly. "Quinn, I could never regret that."

"You promise?" she whimpered. She curled her fingers inside of herself the way she had curled them inside of Rachel. Her hips barely touched mattress as she kept chasing the impending orgasm that was already starting to cause heat between her legs and an abundance of wetness to slick her thighs.

"I promise, baby. I enjoyed everything." Her fingers clenched into a fist in her lap at the sounds of Quinn slowly losing control. "I've never felt anything like that before, Quinn. I've never felt so adored and cherished and—fuck, Quinn, _alive_."

"I'm so close," she whined. The phone had long ago dropped from the bend of her neck and shoulder onto the pillow beside her and she could barely make out Rachel's voice from her own panting, from the faint squeak of her own mattress as her hips slammed up and down but it was there. It was there as if every word Rachel was saying painted itself onto her body. It was there.

"Come, baby," Rachel soothed with a faint urgent need in her voice. "Please, let me hear you come."

Rachel heard nothing after that but a hitch of breath. She held her own, waiting. Then she heard an almost pained whine that strengthened into a quiet moan. Her own name was praised and cursed all in one breath as Quinn orgasmed through the phone. The squeaking of the mattress faded out as Quinn finally calmed down.

She jumped when the car door opened and her fathers slid inside. "Hey, Rachel," Hiram called from the front seat. He turned and smiled at her and Rachel's lips trembled as she smiled back. His smile dimmed at the sight of her flushed face, fidgeting hands and legs and shaky smile.

"Who's on the phone?" Hiram asked.

"Baby, are you there?" Rachel heard Quinn ask on the other line.

"I—yeah. I'm here. I might have to call you back though."

"Another night," Hiram added.

"Have a good night, Quinn." She closed her phone and rested it in her lap. Her gaze lowered to her trembling hands as she dragged her tongue across her lip.

Hiram pulled his eyes away from her to give his husband a meaningful look. Leroy's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What's going on with you two?"

Rachel's phone vibrated along her thigh and her hips shot forward at the feeling. She blushed, picking her phone up to read the text message from Quinn.

_**What just happened? Was it too much? I'm sorry if you were uncomfortable.**_

Her heart melted at how much care was put into that message.

_**Quinn, I was the one asking you to come loudly enough so I could hear you. I hardly think that spells uncomfortable. However, my fathers got to the car just as you were finishing and now I think dad thinks I'm a pervert.**_

She looked up to find both of her fathers staring straight ahead. Leroy caught her eyes in the mirror with a clear understanding of what had passed between her and Hiram. Rachel groaned inwardly in embarrassment.

Her phone vibrated again and she opened it to find another message from Quinn.

_**I'm really sorry, Rachel.**_

_**It's not really a big deal, Quinn. My fathers know that sex exists and that teenagers have a rather high libido. It was only a matter of time.**_

Her phone didn't buzz again for another five minutes and when she read the text from Quinn, she was quick to respond.

_**And you're sure you don't regret any of this?**_

_**I haven't regretted a single thing we've been through, Quinn.**_

She clutched her phone tightly to her and hoped that they would be home soon, so that she could get 'the talk' out of the way.

* * *

><p>"Let's just cut straight to the chase. Are you and Quinn—are the two of you—" Hiram sighed in exasperation, placing his cool palm to his overheated forehead because there was Rachel, his little girl sitting on the sofa with the most straight face and innocent eyes and—<p>

"Are you and Quinn having sex?"

Rachel took a deep breath. "She and I have engaged in intercourse one time so far, dad."

"So far? _So __far_? Leroy, are you hearing your daughter?" he exclaimed, looking to his husband beside him.

Leroy looked at Hiram for a long time, then turned his eyes on his daughter. "Quinn isn't forcing you into anything, is she?"

"No, daddy, I was the one to ask her."

Hiram gasped loudly in surprise but Leroy hardly bat an eyelash. His husband always saw Rachel as their sweet, innocent daughter, but Leroy could recognize that although Rachel was all of those things, she was above all else a teenager.

With too many hormones.

"And you're going to continue to engage in intercourse with her?"

Rachel stared down at her lap, fiddling with her hands and _there_ was the innocent girl Hiram knew and loved.

"Well, it wasn't just a one-time thing…" she whispered and _there_ was the lust laden teenager that Leroy knew and loved regardless.

He looked towards Hiram again. "Then you leave us no choice." He looked back at Rachel. "Quinn will only be allowed here when we are here. And that open door policy? It's going to actually be enforced now."

"Daddy, that's not fair!"

"Did you expect us to _give_ you a place to have sex with Quinn in?" he asked incredulously.

"Then where are we supposed to go?" she couldn't help but ask.

"I don't know. But hopefully having nowhere to go will cut down on the sex," Hiram replied with a furrowed brow. "I can't believe this."

"She's eighteen, honey. It was bound to happen."

"Well, she's still my baby girl."

"And you were your mother's baby boy but that never stopped you."

Rachel's eyes darted back and forth from one parent to the other.

"But she's still too young!"

"We were sixteen!"

"Too much information!" she squeaked.

Hiram shot her a look. "So was knowing you and Quinn have phone sex."

Rachel concluded this was what death by embarrassment probably felt like.

* * *

><p>"Alright, guys!" Mr. Schuester began. "Regionals. Who has ideas?"<p>

"Aerosmith," Puck called out.

"Lady GaGa," Kurt countered.

Finn's hand shot up. "Maybe some Bruce Springsteen."

"Well, Barbra is an obvious choice," Rachel said.

"I'd like some jazz or blues numbers," Mercedes contributed.

"Ditto," Quinn chimed in.

Mr. Schuester's eyes widened. "Okay, I think I should probably write these down." He grabbed a marker and turned towards the board.

Rachel scooted her chair closer to Quinn. She curled an arm around Quinn's and rested her head on her shoulder.

"I'd like some more Katy Perry," Blaine said after a moment.

Rachel scoffed. "As if he doesn't already get enough solos."

Quinn snickered quietly. "Be nice." She crossed her right leg over her left and brown eyes slid to the expanse of thigh that was revealed from under her dress.

Rachel's fingers itched to touch her skin and finally she just gave up. She looked to make sure Mr. Schuester was still turned around and reached out, the tip of her finger stroking along Quinn's bare thigh. "I can be nice," she said pointedly.

Quinn released a shuddery breath. "How nice?" she purred quietly.

Rachel lifted up her dress slightly and slid her fingers higher. "How nice do you want me to be?"

Quinn groaned quietly. She couldn't believe Rachel's parents were actually going to enforce the open door policy. No more dry humping and quick orgasms. No sex _period. _Rachel's hand continued discretely tracing swirly patterns on her thigh and her gaze popped up to look to see if anyone was watching. Her gaze landed squarely on Santana's about three chairs down. Santana smirked knowingly, mouthing: _We__'__ll__ talk__ later_, before turning around to the front.

Quinn groaned again, this time in annoyance. She peeled away what was now Rachel's entire hand from her thigh.

Rachel shot her a worried look. "What's wrong?" she said quietly.

"Santana saw us."

"So?"

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "So, she probably knows that something's up with us. That, you know, we had sex."

"So, are you saying that we have to stop being affectionate in public just so people won't think that we've had sex?"

"I—no, it's just that—" she sighed. "I don't know. That doesn't bother you?"

Rachel turned towards her more fully. "Quinn, I am not ashamed that I had sex with you," she said quietly. "Granted, I won't go around blathering to everyone that will listen because what transpired between us was private and intimate, but—" her cheeks dimpled in the smile that Quinn loved. "If someone, anyone, everyone knows about us, then…I wouldn't ever deny it."

Those words saturated into Quinn's mind and, when glee club was over and Santana stopped her in the middle of the empty hallway, she relied on those words to get her through this conversation.

"I'll call you later," she told Rachel after she pulled away from those lips, watching her walk down the hallway.

Santana smirked as she took her time meandering towards Quinn. "You know, I was wondering why the hell you were being such a bitch yesterday, but I think I get it now."

Quinn adopted the most bored expression she could muster. "What are you talking about now?"

"Berry was practically up your dress today during glee."

"Again, what are you talking about?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" She stalked closer. "Berry sprayed that choir room today more than she did when she went on that rant about how much she wanted to fuck Jesse."

Quinn's jaw clenched in annoyance at having that particular memory brought back up. "Is there a point you're trying to make?" she gritted out.

Santana shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I _guess_ I could congratulate you for doing what three men apparently couldn't do. I mean, Puck took a chance and failed, Finn was completely shot down and Jesse even made it to her _bedroom_ and Rachel blued balled him harder than Brittany did Artie that day I called her and told her I bought her a _My__ Little__ Pony_. And _that__'__s _saying something. So congrats, Q. Hope you get laid soon because you're annoying as fuck right now."

Quinn blanched at the end of Santana's little rant. "That's it? You're not going to make fun of me? Or Rachel for that matter?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Well, I mean, if you're gonna give me free reign to ask you about her treasure trail, then—"

"Shut up."

"Whatever. Anyway…good job or whatever."

Quinn almost smiled. "You really are trying to be a friend, huh?"

She shrugged. "I guess. Later." She spun around and began walking down the hallway.

Quinn bit her lip in contemplation as she watched Santana walk away. Finally, she just went for it. "Santana, wait."

She turned around. "What?"

Quinn walked closer, leading her back into the choir room. She shut the door tightly behind her. "I have a question to ask," she said quietly.

Santana looked around to the empty choir room, then looked back to Quinn. "You said you weren't into that."

"I'm not asking about _that_," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Look, it's safe to say you and Brittany have had sex," she prefaced.

"And a lot of it," Santana said proudly.

Quinn rubbed her lips together nervously. "How was your first time with B?"

Santana took a guarded step back. "Trying to learn some moves to put on Berry?"

"Santana, just—could you answer the question, please?" Quinn asked seriously.

"We were fifteen," Santana told her. "We snuck into an R-rated movie and…I fingered her while we watched the sex scene."

"Did you ever regret that?"

"Why would I?" she asked, instantly taking offense. "I liked it, B liked it, we still go to the movies sometimes to do it."

"I don't know," Quinn said apologetically. "I just thought—"

"You thought wrong. B wanted me and I wanted her."

"And was—was she—" Quinn figured that Santana was probably going to revoke their friendship card after this personal conversation was over.

"A virgin?" she supplied. "Yeah."

"And you didn't regret it?" she asked again. Yep, this friendship was going to go up in flames because she could not keep her foot out of her mouth. Such a Rachel trait. Quinn almost smiled.

"No. Because that was us, you know? She and I don't need candles and music in the background for it to feel special. I could do her beside a smelly dumpster and we'd both still be into it because it's about us."

She nodded in understanding. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Quit being weird," Santana quipped. "Hang with us this weekend."

"Okay," she said absentmindedly, hardly paying attention as Santana opened the door and walked out.

It weirdly made sense in a way Quinn wasn't accustomed to. First times were supposed to be special and grand. An event that needed to be planned out, candles needed to be lit, music needed to be in the background, rose pedals needed to be littered across the bed. But her first time wasn't like that. Santana's and Brittany's wasn't like that. Rachel's wasn't like that. And out of the four of them, only Quinn regretted her first time but it was because she was intoxicated and wasn't with someone she loved. Rachel wasn't intoxicated, _she_ herself was and even then, Rachel had been with the person she loved during her first time, whether Quinn was drunk or not apparently had no bearing.

She rubbed the back of her neck pensively, as her mind finally wrapped around the whole thing.

Like Rachel wrapped around her fingers.

Quinn groaned in frustration.

She really needed to get laid.

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Judy, hi," Rachel said warmly into the phone. "It's Rachel."

"Oh, hi, dear. It's been so long since I've last heard from you."

"Yes, it certainly has. I was hoping to remedy that. I was wondering if you would like to have a get together soon. Just you, me, Quinn and my fathers? I thought that would be a way for us all to get acquainted with each other."

Rachel bit her lip in anticipation, waiting for Judy. It was still dicey. Judy instructed her to take care of Quinn but Rachel still wasn't sure if that translated into full on acceptance yet.

"That sounds lovely, dear. But, I have a wine tasting cruise next weekend; it would have to be before then."

"Oh, no," Rachel lamented. "With glee club and class assignments, I'll be busy all week. The only time I would be free would be the weekend."

"Does it have to be next weekend, dear?"

"The sooner, the better," Rachel blurted out, her libido getting the better of her.

She heard rustling in the background before, "I don't leave until Friday at six," magically feel from Judy's lips.

Rachel smiled widely. "We can plan the dinner at four."

They exchanged more pleasantries before Rachel bid her goodnight and hung up the phone, patting herself in on the back for being able to kill two birds with one stone next weekend. She just had to resist Quinn until then. That would be moderately easy…

Right?


	21. Chapter 21

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**R

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>Quinn knocked on the door to the Berry household a smidge more gingerly than she ever had. This was the first time she had been over the Berry residence since Rachel's fathers caught her and Rachel having phone sex. Even now her face burned in embarrassment. She had every intention of crawling under a rock and never speaking to them again but Rachel had insisted that everything was still normal and that she didn't need to worry.<p>

The door opened and Hiram just stood there looking at her.

Quinn should have known better than to listen to her girlfriend.

"Hello, Hiram," she greeted as warmly as she could. Her fingers clenched nervously into tight fists in the pocket of her coat as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

His expression never changed. "Hello, Quinn."

"Hiram, quit harassing that girl!" Quinn heard Leroy call from inside the house. He was always her favorite for a reason.

"She took my baby's innocence!" Hiram called back.

A smile tried to fight its way onto her face because Rachel very willingly gave her innocence away but she was far too mortified and actually respectful to vocalize such a thought.

She heard loud footsteps inside the house and pretty soon, Leroy was rescuing her by grabbing Hiram's arm and gently pulling him away from the door. "Come in, Quinn. It's cold out there, isn't it?"

"Very," she agreed. She stepped inside, the aroma of food being prepared assaulting her nostrils. "Where's Rachel?" she couldn't help but ask as her coat slipped off. In a time like this when things were undoubtedly going to be awkward between her, Leroy and Hiram, she needed the youngest Berry to break the ice.

And to be her advocate.

"We locked her in her room," Hiram told her as he walked towards the living room. "Follow me, Quinn."

She gulped inaudibly and followed him, Leroy trailing close behind to mutter, "We didn't _actually _lock her away. But we needed to talk to you without your lawyer present."

"Is this legal?" she asked.

It was a serious question but she could hear Leroy chuckling quietly behind her anyway.

They all filed into the living room and sat down. Quinn sat on a couch by herself and Hiram and Leroy sat on another couch.

"How is school treating you, Quinn?"

She shrugged a little. "I'm back to straight As." Her gaze dipped down to a small paint stain on her faded jeans and she picked at it nervously while Leroy and Hiram exchanged a glance.

"How are things going at home?"

Another shrug. "Good, I guess."

Leroy cleared his throat, projecting his voice to ask, "How do you feel about my daughter?"

Her hands stilled their fidgeting. Quinn took a deep breath, looking up at them. Her gaze flicked from Leroy to Hiram then back again. That was such a loaded question.

"I love Rachel," she said carefully in that quiet voice that meant she would much prefer to be talking about something else.

"Quinn, while I'm never one to simply disregard teenage love—Hiram and I were high school sweethearts and look at us now—I am concerned for my daughter because she's _my_ daughter. Do you understand?"

Quinn nodded hurriedly.

"That being said, I'll ask again: how do you feel about Rachel?"

"I love her," she reiterated.

Leroy was quiet for a moment. His gaze never left Quinn's. Hiram crossed his legs, his eyebrows furrowing thoughtfully. "I think what my husband is trying to say, Quinn, is that Rachel has already been through enough. I don't even have to point out how you factor into one of the many obstacles Rachel has had to endure in her life, do I?"

She felt her chest tighten painfully at the question. Her hand reached up to rub the back of her neck as she took a deep breath. "No," she whispered. "I remember."

Leroy's eyes narrowed a fraction but he didn't say anything.

"You've put my daughter through a lot," Hiram noted plainly. "But I get it. Teenagers being teenagers and confusing love for hate—what have you. We've all moved on from it and the point of this conversation isn't to dig up old wounds." He almost smiled. "Rachel's told me about how you guilt trip yourself and spiral into a state of depression whenever someone brings up how you used to bully her."

Quinn chuckled wryly. It was true, but Rachel made her sound like a nut job.

"However," Hiram continued, "aside from you, this year alone Rachel has had a lot to deal with. Losing friends, Shelby returning and hurting her again. There is only so much a teenage girl can take."

Quinn nodded in sympathy. There really _was_ only so much a teenage girl could take before she broke and spiraled and, having been through that, Quinn could honestly say she would never want Rachel to experience the same.

"I would never ask you to promise to never leave her side, or for you to take her hand in marriage right now—" he paused at Leroy's snort and shot him a look. "What I'm saying in a roundabout way, Quinn, is that, you've taken our baby girl's virginity. That's important to any girl and—"

"Just…take care of her," Leroy interjected. "That's my baby girl, Quinn. She's given you what Hiram and I both know was the most important thing to her. Just don't—"

"I won't," she voiced softly. She didn't even know what they were asking of her but, "I promise," fell from her lips anyway.

Quinn must have said something right because relief flooded both of their facial expressions almost immediately. And she got it, in a vague roundabout way. They were asking her not to hurt Rachel, to protect her because Rachel giving Quinn her virginity was sort of like passing the torch. Leroy and Hiram couldn't protect her like they always used to and relied on Quinn to be there for Rachel during times when they couldn't be. That thought alone scared her half to death because she was still learning to love without causing hurt but the relieved look on their faces and the love she saw shining in Rachel's eyes every time she saw her was enough for Quinn to want to get her shit together once and for all.

But the more she thought about it, the more she found herself already doing what they had asked of her. She was the one holding and comforting Rachel when her play was over and Shelby was nowhere to be seen, the one listening to Rachel go back and forth on whether or not she wanted to cut Shelby out of her life for good. Quinn was already learning and maybe, maybe this wouldn't be so hard.

She looked back up to find Leroy smiling at her. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me, too," she mumbled.

"Now, you're free to go see her if you want."

She practically scampered off the couch to head towards the stairs and away from a definite top five of the most awkward conversations of her life. And that was saying something.

"Oh, and Quinn?" Leroy called.

Her foot stopped at the top stair and reluctantly, she turned back around.

"Make sure she leaves that door open."

She groaned quietly, nearly stomping petulantly down the hallway to Rachel's bedroom. She opened the door and found Rachel on her bed, biting her thumb nail pensively.

Rachel's eyes shot up to Quinn almost immediately and she was leaping off the bed and into her arms. "Were they mean to you? Are you okay? They told me if I went down there at any point that they would send you home."

Quinn couldn't help but release a quiet chuckle into dark brown hair as Rachel's arms tightened around her waist as if to comfort her. "I'm okay," she assured.

Rachel pulled back, all furrowed brow and pouty lips, pulling Quinn towards the bed. "What did they say to you?"

Quinn sat down with Rachel beside her, tucking a leg underneath her and facing Rachel more fully. "They weren't too bad."

Rachel gave her a look.

"Honestly," she laughed off. "Just the normal, father/protect my daughter conversation."

Rachel reached out and grabbed Quinn's hand. Her fingers stroked her palm softly. "They didn't threaten you?"

"Not in so many words," Quinn replied distractedly. Her gaze darted to Rachel's fingers then back up to brown eyes.

"And you're positive?"

"Mhm."

Rachel continued tracing swirly pattern along the palm of her hand. "As long as you're sure," she murmured. Her index finger traced along the lines in Quinn's hand, the conversation seemingly poofing away like magic. She traced her health line, her life line, and her fate line all the way down to the inside of her wrist. She heard a strangled noise escape Quinn and looked up to find darkened eyes and a full bottom lip taken between even teeth. Rachel watched her silently. Her index finger continued to trace along her wrist in small circles. Just as she was tracking back up, her finger swiped just off center of a vein and Quinn made that noise again.

Rachel inhaled deeply. She looked towards the door then looked back to Quinn. "I hate this policy," she grumbled. She leaned down and placed a kiss to Quinn's wrist then pulled back before things went too far.

Quinn groaned in frustration and flung herself back onto Rachel's bed, turning on her stomach and burying her face into the bedspread. She was never going to get laid. Ever.

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered by her ear. She lied down beside Quinn, rubbing along her back soothingly. "I know it's unfair."

Quinn didn't respond and Rachel sighed against her ear, placing a kiss there. She worked the pads of her fingers softly into each knot in Quinn's spine all the way down to the small of her back. She reached lower and palmed Quinn's ass playfully, giving it a squeeze. "I'm just as frustrated as you are."

Still no response. Her fingers walked slowly up her back again as she nipped the ear she had been cooing against and a muffled yelp resounded. Quinn turned her head to glare up at the teasing glint in Rachel's eyes. "Turn over."

Her face blanched. "What?"

"Turn over, Quinn."

She eyed Rachel suspiciously but slowly complied. She turned over slowly, lying back across the length of the bed. Rachel's eyes fell from her face to her neck, down her chest to the flat plane of her stomach, then between her legs. Her lips quirked upwards. "You're wearing the jeans."

"You said you like them, so…"

Rachel hummed quietly in agreement. She leaned down, connecting their lips. Her hand rested against Quinn's stomach, sliding up until her thumb pressed softly on her sternum, her hand just under Quinn's breasts.

She could feel the increasing rise and fall of Quinn's chest with each stroke of their tongues. Rachel slid her hand slower, toying with the button on the pair of jeans before cupping Quinn gently in her hand.

Quinn gasped quietly. Her head tipped back as Rachel rubbed her firmly. She squirmed, the seam of her jeans meeting her clit. "What are you doing?" she asked, voice strangled in the back of her throat.

"I thought that would have been obvious…" Rachel told her with a teasing smile.

"I know what—" a long moan tore from her throat when Rachel applied just the slightest bit more pressure. Her hips sank back into the mattress before rising the barest hint to meet the questing fingers between her legs. "I mean, your fathers have the open door policy and," she couldn't resist popping her head up to look at the door, "that door is very much open," she concluded breathlessly.

Rachel watched in awe as dots of pink began to form along Quinn's nose and stretched delicately across her cheeks. Her fingers trekked down to where she guessed Quinn's opening would be and she pushed hard onto denim with two fingers extended.

A choked moan erupted from Quinn as her hips suddenly became more eager. She had become good at imagining and it wasn't hard to picture Rachel's fingers inside of her when her girlfriend's fingers were prodding her through her jeans.

That sound rippled straight through Rachel and liquefied between her legs. She leaned down and kissed along the blush that had marred pale skin. She kissed the tip of Quinn's nose, along her cheeks, and buried her face into her neck, nuzzling her before placing a wet kiss against her skin. Her fingers picked up pace, slipping back up to rub her clit firmly.

"You've researched this," Quinn replied airily, staring up at the ceiling but seeing nothing. Wherever Rachel's hand went, that was where her hips would chase.

Rachel nodded against her neck, working a rapidly beating pulse point between her teeth.

"Rachel, you and Quinn better be behaving in there!"

A tiny squeak lodged in Quinn's throat. Rachel reluctantly pulled her lips and hand away, giving Quinn's thigh a reassuring squeeze before pulling back completely. "We are, daddy!" she promised exasperatedly.

Quinn could hear Leroy's footsteps pounding against the floor in the hallway getting nearer. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to care when her limbs felt like they were on fire, felt like dead weight and jelly all at the same time. She at least had the decency to close her legs before Leroy came to the door.

"Your father wanted me to check in on you. What are you guys doing in here?"

"Talking," Rachel chirped. Her voice sounded high pitched and cordial like she hadn't just been trying to get Quinn off through her jeans just seconds prior.

Quinn swallowed, blinking rapidly up at the ceiling. Her throat was dry. She could use some water. She could use a lot of things that she apparently wasn't going to get.

Leroy's critical eyes slid from Rachel to Quinn and lingered, contemplating.

Rachel looked down at Quinn as well. She reached out and patted her stomach. She didn't miss Quinn's sharp intake of breath. "She's tired," Rachel told Leroy.

He looked between the two of them, and if he noticed anything had transpired, _was_ transpiring, between the two of them, he didn't say anything. "Just make sure to keep this door open."

"Yes, daddy."

As soon as he left, Rachel attached her lips back to Quinn's neck, sucking forcefully as her hand played between her legs. The only sound that could be heard was Quinn's low breathy pants and barely there whimpers before she finally stilled her squirming and shuddered through her release.

Rachel eased up until her palm just rested against the seam of Quinn's pants, feeling indescribable heat. She kissed back up her neck and jaw, sealing their lips tightly together. "You're good at being quiet," she mumbled.

Quinn laughed breathlessly. "We don't all have soundproof rooms to mask sound in our homes like you."

Rachel hummed in understanding, hooking a thigh around Quinn's and burying her face into her neck to lay there. "I love you," she whispered.

Quinn wrapped an arm around her. "I love you, too."

Rachel lied there, melting into Quinn as soothing circles were being drawn along her hipbone. "So, I was thinking…" she muttered nervously.

"This can't be good."

Rachel nudged her in the rib. "I'm serious."

Quinn hummed quietly. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking," Rachel said slowly, "I want to take you on a date."

Quinn didn't say anything for a while and Rachel waited with bated breath before she continued. "I thought we were already dating," Quinn murmured.

"You know what I mean, Quinn."

She didn't say anything again for a long time. Rachel just snuggled further against her and waited for any kind of response. She had learned long ago that simply waiting Quinn out instead of pushing her yielded far better results.

"Where would we go?"

Rachel sighed in relief against her collarbone. "I kind of already have something planned."

"What is it?" Quinn asked carefully.

"I thought our families could all have dinner together. You, me, my fathers, your mother. I already called her to see if she wanted to—"

She felt Quinn tense beneath her before, "You _what_?" tersely fell from her girlfriend's lips.

Rachel pulled back to look down at her, getting a good look at her face. "She said it was a wonderful idea."

"Why would you…" her eyebrows knitted together in incomprehension and barely contained annoyance. "Why would you plan a dinner with my mother? She barely accepts us as it is."

"I think she accepts us just fine," Rachel countered. "All I wanted was—"

"Yeah, all _you_ wanted. You should have asked me what I wanted." Quinn sat up on the bed, folding her legs under her. She stared up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

She looked over to Rachel to find her eyes slowly widening, her eyebrows slowly rising and crinkling signaling that tears may or may not be imminent. "I'm sorry," Rachel whispered. "I just wanted to be introduced, _formally _introduced as your girlfriend to _someone_ in your life who mattered to you."

"Everyone at school knows," Quinn told her, gesturing vaguely with her hands. "Rachel, I…I've been—I've done whatever you wanted. You wanted to hold hands in school, we hold hands in school. You want to kiss in school, I kiss you in school. I even held your hand while the _hockey __team_ walked by us. The damn hockey team, Rachel. You know how they are."

"And I've been in the closet for you," Rachel couldn't help but add tightly. "I've gone through _not _holding your hand and _not _being able to kiss you in school, so I don't really understand what your point is here."

"My point is that I'm trying!" Quinn shouted. "Shit, I—what haven't I done?"

"Introduced me to your mother!" Rachel exclaimed emphatically. "I want you to say to her face, 'Hey, mom, this is Rachel Berry, my girlfriend.' She matters to you and I want that-that validation!"

"Why didn't you just ask me? You didn't have to go behind my back and ask my mother to attend what is probably going to be an awkward dinner because Hiram is somehow going to bring up the fact that we've had sex and ask my mother to weigh in on it. Did you ever think about that?"

"I didn't ask you because I—" she stopped short, blowing out a big breath because she was so angry and hurt that she wasn't even sure if she wanted to execute the plans she had in store and almost slipped up in telling Quinn about anymore. "Never mind, Quinn."

She stood up, shaking her head a little for being so in love with the girl on her bed.

"Where are you going?" Quinn asked.

"To get something to drink."

"Rachel, don't…" she called feebly behind her as Rachel walked out of the room.

Quinn flopped back on the bed with a frustrated growl. Were these the kind of conversations adults had? And not adults in the same way that she and Rachel were barely legal adults but, like, legit adults. The ones that paid bills and made homes together and argued about things that were far too mature for high schoolers to argue about. This argument felt pretty mature—it felt like a mature thing to want, wanting to meet someone's parents. The only person who had met her parents was Finn and that was when Quinn thought she was going to marry him. And now Rachel wanted the opportunity to meet her mother and—

That thought stopped her heart for a good three beats and she leapt up on the bed, running her fingers through her hair. When she looked up, she found Rachel standing by the door staring at her. She looked nervous and pensive, her arms crossed along her middle and her legs crossed one over the other.

"Come here," Quinn said quietly.

Rachel hesitated by the door, but walked in anyway. She sat down on the bed and Quinn reached out tentatively to grab her hand. She interlocked their fingers and looked down at them. It was as if she was seeing them for the first time. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest. "You can meet her," she whispered. "Officially."

"Quinn, if it will make you uncomfortable, then I don't have to."

Oh, _now _Rachel was being considerate. Quinn smiled lopsidedly. "This is important to you, so it's fine. I guess. I can invite her over and—"

"I already have everything taken care of," Rachel interjected quickly with a small, fond smile. Her plans were so on again.

Quinn couldn't help but return that dimpled smile that never failed to charm her. "Of _course_ you do," she replied sarcastically.

* * *

><p>It was the first time Mercedes had been over to her house since the two of them became friends again and truth be told, Rachel <em>may <em>have had romantic ulterior motives.

"So, tell me all about your first times," Rachel instructed as she folded her legs beneath her. She was in her pink, star pattered pajamas and fuzzy socks, staring eagerly at Mercedes and Kurt.

Mercedes slowly shook her head back and forth. "I haven't had a first time."

"What are you waiting for, girl?" Kurt asked. "It's amazing."

Rachel had to nod her head in agreement because although she had once sworn to herself to wait until she was twenty-five, the only thing she was swearing to herself now was to be knuckle deep inside of Quinn within roughly the next week. "I have to agree with Kurt."

Mercedes ducked her head sheepishly. "I just want to wait. Possibly until marriage if I can."

"Understandable," Rachel conceded. "I, too, was willing to wait until I was much older but…I found my soulmate," she said quietly. "We fuss, we fight, I complain about her, she thinks I'm annoying but—who would have thought Quinn Fabray would be my soulmate?"

"I called it," Kurt told her.

"You called that the two of them would do the nasty before high school was over."

"Speaking of that, you owe me twenty dollars."

"You betted on whether or not Quinn and I—no matter." Rachel reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "I just—what I feel for that girl, she'll probably never be able to comprehend it."

She trailed off into a wide smile and wistful sigh that had Kurt and Mercedes snickering and gagging.

Rachel shook herself out of her thoughts, a little blush coloring her cheeks as she cleared her throat. "Anyway. I was wondering if, Kurt, you could tell me how your first time went again. And, Mercedes, you could tell me about your ideal first time." She picked up the pink spiral notebook that laid in front of her and opened up to a fresh page.

Mercedes bit her lip in uncertainty but Kurt spoke up before she could. "Blaine and I were in my room. At first we just kind of lied on my bed, facing each other, exchanging little kisses here and there."

Rachel wrote down her first note on the page now entitled: _How __to__ Ensure__ Quinn __Fabray__ Has__ a__ Memorable,__ Wonderful, __Extraordinary,__ and__ Erotic__ First__ Time__ with__ Rachel__ Berry._

_1). Litter kisses all over her body._

Her head popped up. "What was next Kurt?"

"Next we slowly began touching each other. It was really our first time exploring each other and we kept it short and simple."

_2). Touch her in non-erogenous zones first._

"Mhm. Next?"

"Then we sort of just went with what the other responded to and went from there. And, BAM!" He grinned. "Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were no longer virgins."

_3). Learn what she likes and continue with those ministrations._

She looked over her three bullet points thoroughly. She could do this. She could make love to Quinn Fabray.

"Mercedes, would you like to weigh in on this as well?"

"What are you doing?"

"She's trying to re-deflower Quinn apparently," Kurt chimed in with a small chuckle.

Mercedes's head tilted to the side. "You're what?"

"I'm trying to give Quinn what Noah neglected to give her. A first time in which she feels safe and loved and…substance free."

Kurt snickered. Rachel shot him a glare.

"Aww, that's actually really sweet and selfless of you," Mercedes teased.

"Yes, well, love can make you do things you didn't know you were capable of," she replied haughtily.

Mercedes peered off for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "I guess I would want the romance novel version of a first time. The unattainable kind?"

Kurt gasped. "Do _you_ want to make love to Taylor Lautner in a dewy meadow, too?"

"I said romance novel not teeny bopper novels."

"How _dare_ you insult _Twilight_?"

"Guys," Rachel interrupted. "Though I love a rousing debate—I think it helps keep one's mind sharp—we all need to focus on the task at hand."

"As I was saying," Mercedes continued, rolling her eyes at Kurt's scowl. "I'd want the romance novel first time. The rose pedals, the guy slowly kissing all over my body, maybe some Tony Braxton in the background…"

_4). Brush up on knowledge of sex scenes within romance novels._

_5). Call the carnation shop._

_6). Kiss Quinn Fabray all over her body._

It was kind of getting hot in here.

"Thank you all for your contributions."

"Can we watch a movie now?"

"Movie, schmovie, don't think I forgot about how you just dissed _Twilight_."

Rachel bit her lip to stifle a giggle at her friends' antics. She discreetly removed herself from the bed and the conversation to find a movie to put in and appease the quarreling people on her bed.

* * *

><p>Rachel stretched her neck from side to side with a quiet groan as she walked down the hallway. Dance rehearsals were a little rough last night and she could feel her muscles protesting. She clutched her books tighter and skimmed the stairs to the second floor. When she got to the bottom step she saw Quinn walking in her direction. She smiled widely, hopping off the bottom stair and falling in step beside Quinn. "Good morning," she murmured shyly.<p>

Quinn smiled at her bashfulness. She reached out, peeling one of Rachel's hands away from her books and holding it by their sides, intertwining their fingers. Rachel stared at her in wonder the entire way to her locker, nearly bumping into a burly football player. Quinn tugged on her hand, pulling her more into her side as they both sidestepped the guy. "Watch where you're going, Berry," she teased.

She couldn't even speak. Her gaze darted from their intertwined hands to Quinn's profile as they navigated through the hallway and to her locker. Quinn had reached out and held her hand. _Quinn__ reached __out_ and held _her__ hand_. This was the kind of things dreams were made of. And then Quinn's thumb rubbed the back of her hand and Rachel just _swooned_.

They made it to her locker and Rachel switched her books to her left hand as she spun her locker with her right.

"So, I was thinking…"

Quinn's voice dripped innuendo and promise and Rachel spun to thirty-six when she was supposed to spin to thirty-five and she cursed quietly, spinning the combination again.

She missed the knowing smile on full lips as Quinn took a step closer. She rested her head right next to Rachel's on a nearby locker. "Tomorrow is a free day for students, we have the day off, my mom has to work and I'm going to have the house to myself," she purred. The back of her hand ran lightly down Rachel's arm, causing goosebumps to rise in its wake. "Want to come over, order in, rent a movie and not watch it?"

Those silky words wreaked havoc as they slithered into her ear, saturated into her brain and caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. This was the wet dream of at least twenty to thirty guys in the school and it was being offered to _her_. Quinn Fabray was offering sex in the most seductive tone of voice Rachel had ever heard.

Her locker popped open with a loud clang but that didn't stop Quinn's fingers from gliding along the palm of her hand, tracing hearts and other shapes that made it hard for Rachel to concentrate. "I-I can't, Quinn," she stammered. "I have to start preparing the final setlist for Regionals."

Quinn stepped forward just as the late bell rang. Rachel backed away from her locker and Quinn followed, closing the locker behind her and grabbing the front of Rachel's sweater before she could walk away. Rachel swallowed thickly at the sight of darkened hazel eyes staring back at her. She felt very much like a caught prey as Quinn's other hand clamped down lightly on her hip. The touch was feather light but present enough to keep Rachel rooted in place. "Let me be more clear," Quinn murmured, leaning closer. She nuzzled behind her ear, relishing in Rachel's moan. Her tongue flicked out along Rachel's earlobe, taking it between her teeth and tugging.

"Quinn," Rachel rasped out.

"If you come over tomorrow, you get to have sex with me," Quinn whispered in her ear. Her lips brushed the shell of Rachel's sensitive ear with every word and Rachel jolted forward into waiting arms.

"Baby, I _can__'__t_," she whined, voice trembling with arousal.

Quinn sighed against her ear, pulling back. Her eyes blazed with unmasked frustration as she glared down at Rachel. "Is making a setlist really that much more important than I am?"

"It's not," Rachel defended. "Nothing is, but I—it really has to get done now."

She growled in annoyance, turning away from Rachel to lean back against the locker. She had just put out. She had _literally_ just put out. And it had felt odd and exhilarating and Rachel just shot her down so she could write some fucking songs on a piece of paper. And what was even more annoying was that there were at least twenty other guys that would have jumped at the chance with no questions asked, but the only person that she wanted to touch her was her own infuriating girlfriend. The only person she loved, the only person that could make her body come alive was the very person telling her no.

Rachel walked closer to Quinn, tucking herself against her side. "Please don't be mad," she whispered along her collarbone.

"I'm not really mad," Quinn said quietly. "And I'm sorry. I'm just…" she sighed loudly.

Rachel giggled. "I don't think you've ever been this…sexually aroused. And for such an extended amount of time, correct? You probably don't really know how to handle it or what to do with it all."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Then she rolled them again because it was true.

Rachel smiled in sympathy and grabbed her hand. "We're already late," she said conspiringly. "Janitor's closet?"

Quinn grinned wildly, tugging her down the hallway and Rachel trailed along, patting herself on the back for being able to resist temptation.

* * *

><p>Instead of spending the entire day she had out of school fucking Rachel on every surface of her house, Quinn decided to spend it over Shelby's house visiting Beth. It was a pretty awesome alternative. She pulled along the road, brow furrowing as she spotted Puck's car in the driveway.<p>

"He didn't tell me he was coming over today," she muttered to herself. "We could have carpooled."

She stepped out of the car and walked up the driveway, onto the porch and rang the bell. The door was flung open and Puck peeked his head out, grinning. "'Sup, baby mama?"

"What are you doing here? And," her eyes dropped in suspicion to his bare torso, "why don't you have a shirt on?"

"Uh, I—"

"Beth threw up on it," Shelby said calmly as she walked to the door. She tightened her robe around her and stepped closer to the door. "Come in. It's cold."

Quinn was surprised that Shelby didn't make her stand outside while she hassled her for a discernible amount of time like always, but she wasn't one to look a gift horse in its mouth. She walked inside, taking her coat and gloves off. "Where is she?"

"She's asleep," Shelby told her. Quinn's gaze slid over to her. Shelby looked nervous, constantly touching her dishelved hair as if she was trying to keep up an appearance. Quinn shrugged in mocking amusement. She used to know what that felt like. Her gaze walked back over to Puck.

"You don't have another shirt to put on him?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

Shelby stiffened beside him and took a step back. "No, I don't. Otherwise, he'd be wearing one."

"Whatever," she replied with a shrug. She walked towards the stairs because watching her daughter sleep was more important than talking to Puck and Shelby.

She opened the door to Beth's room quietly, slipping inside and walking towards her crib. Beth lied there silently, an arm tossed along her face, her chest rising and falling softly. She was all round cheeks, round belly and stubby limbs and it never failed to make Quinn fall more in love every time she saw her.

Every time she visited Beth she couldn't help but wish Rachel was with her. That she could watch Rachel hold her and interact with her. But Rachel wasn't ready, would probably never be and Quinn wasn't going to push her.

The floor creaked behind her and she spun around, seeing Shelby walking towards her. Shelby stood right next to her and Quinn fidgeted uncomfortably before scooting a step away.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Quinn nodded, looking back down at her daughter with a fond smile.

Shelby braced her hands on the railing of the crib. "How is Rachel?"

"Why do you care?"

"She hasn't talked to me in weeks and I-I was just wondering."

"She's doing well, all things considered."

"Could you tell her that—"

Quinn's gaze shot to Shelby sharply. "No. She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want anything to do with you, so no. I'm not going to relay whatever meager message you have to her."

Shelby inhaled a shuddery breath, licking her chapped lips nervously. "Just tell Rachel that I could write a better recommendation for her and that if she wants me to she can just tell me."

"_What _is your problem?" Quinn hissed, trying not to wake Beth. "Are you _trying_ to make Rachel crazy? She almost had to see a psychologist the last time you blew into town because apparently you get off on playing mind games."

"I'm not trying to play games," Shelby implored. "I'm trying to help her. She doesn't want me in her life, I get it. But having a recommendation from someone who has actually been on Broadway is better than having a recommendation from someone who wishes that he was."

Quinn stood there, jaw clenched in irritation as she stared at Beth, hoping watching her daughter sleep would calm her.

"You know that I'm right. And my recommendation versus Schuester's could be the difference of her getting into NYADA and her not getting in. Would you really risk Rachel's only shot?"

Quinn sneered deeply at her. "You may be able to manipulate Rachel because she's trusting and tries to see the good in everybody, but you can't fucking manipulate me," she growled. "_I _know what manipulation is and I don't take it from anyone."

Shelby looked down at her. "I'm not manipulating you, Quinn. I'm simply trying to offer my daughter—"

"_Rachel_."

"I'm trying to offer Rachel a chance," she amended.

"Look," Quinn sighed heavily. "I don't get to see my own daughter enough as it is. Can I please enjoy these few moments with her without having you breathe down my neck?"

Shelby's eyes hardened just a fraction but she relented, stepping back and towards the door. "Tell her what I said, Quinn."

Quinn ignored her, watching her daughter sleep peacefully. Her head felt cloudy with confusion. Leroy had asked her to protect Rachel. And didn't protecting Rachel mean keeping Shelby away? Or did protecting Rachel mean telling her about Shelby's offer in order to give her a better chance of getting into NYADA?

She heard faint cooing below her and shook herself from her thoughts, looking down to see Beth staring up at her. "Quinn," Beth muttered drowsily.

Quinn laughed, her worries draining from her for at least a little while as she reached into the crib and picked her daughter up. "Beth," she greeted warmly. "Hi, baby."


	22. Chapter 22

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone that continues to read and review! And a special shoutout to all of my anons! I don't have a way of thanking you guys otherwise, so instead I'll publicly thank you. :)

* * *

><p>"Today's the big day!" Rachel squealed excitedly. "Are you excited?"<p>

Quinn spun her combination into her locker to deposit her books. "Is there an option other than excited?"

Rachel pouted. "No," she grumbled.

"Then I guess I'm excited." She slid her books into her locker, closing it to lean against and stare at Rachel. "Are you excited?"

Rachel smiled widely. "Is that even a question?"

"This is really important to you, isn't it?"

"I just think it's about time both of our families were able to sit down and have a dialogue."

Quinn shifted uncomfortably. "I don't like dialogue."

"If _anyone_ knows that about you, it's me." She sidled closer to Quinn, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. "But I think it will be good for us."

"Have you made the list of things your fathers aren't allowed to ask?"

Rachel nodded. "No questions about sex, your father and subsequently, no calling Judy Mrs. Fabray, and no questions about Beth."

"Okay," she breathed. "Good. I can do this."

"You can," Rachel encouraged with a reassuring smile.

Quinn returned her smile with a small one of her own.

"Let's go." Rachel pulled her hand. "I have to start preparing dinner early."

"What are we eating?"

"Well, my fathers and I are just going to have a typical stir fry. Does Judy like chicken?"

Quinn laughed. "You're really going to cook chicken? You? Cooking chicken? This I have to see."

Rachel grimaced at the thought of the plucked bare, deathly pale, headless chicken in the freezer at her house. "It isn't going to be particularly ideal. But given our current situation, I wouldn't be opposed to preparing one."

"You mean you've already bought one," Quinn guessed astutely.

"One can never be too prepared."

Quinn scoffed. "Of course not."

They slowed to a stop as they made it Rachel's car. Rachel turned around to rest back against her car as Quinn stood in front of her. "You should probably broil that chicken," Quinn told her. "Even though my mother drinks like a sailor, her meal options are decidedly bland."

Rachel laughed, then twisted her lips in thought as she looked up at Quinn. "I'm not sure I know how to broil chicken."

"Do you want me to come over beforehand and show you?"

"No," Rachel exclaimed as if put out. "This is my opportunity to cook for you."

She felt her stomach flutter stupidly at how domestic this all felt. She was flying by the seat of her pants but the smile Rachel had on her face told her she was doing pretty well.

"Look," Quinn sighed, wanting to get all drama out of the way before they had dinner and…more drama. "I have something to tell you, but I don't want this to ruin our day, okay?"

Rachel shifted where she stood, glancing down at the ground briefly before looking back up at Quinn. "Is it something that can wait?" she asked quietly.

"I wish it could," Quinn said just as softly. "But your application for NYADA is going to be reviewed soon, I'm sure. So, it's probably best I tell you now."

Her brow furrowed almost immediately. "What does this have to do with NYADA?"

Quinn took a step closer, pitching her voice lower to keep their conversation private from passersby that were all walking to their cars or towards the buses. "I went to visit Beth a couple of days ago—when you refused to have sex with me." Rachel gawked with a small fiery blush and Quinn chuckled quietly at her reaction. "Anyway, I was watching Beth sleep and Shelby came in interrupting. She asked about you."

And at any other point in her life beforehand, someone telling her Shelby asked about her well-being would have excited Rachel beyond belief. Right now, it just made her tired and sad for what she and Shelby could have been and never would be. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her you were doing well. But then she told me to tell you if you wanted her to write a recommendation to NYADA for you, to ask her."

Rachel sank a little further back against her car. Was this yet another game? All she ever felt like was a toy that Shelby picked up and played with when she was bored. She looked up at the prideful, if a little sheepish, look on Quinn's face. "What?"

"I may have told her where to shove her recommendation."

Rachel barked out a surprised laugh. "You did _not_."

Her lips pulled upwards. "I did."

Rachel pulled her closer, wrapping her arms around slim shoulders. "Thank you, baby," she murmured into her shoulder. She couldn't really describe how she felt, just knew her chest was warm with emotion because Quinn had stood up for her. If this was two years ago—she didn't even want to think about that.

Quinn balanced one hand on the car, resting the other on Rachel's hip. "You're welcome."

Her arms tightened the barest hint, as she buried her face into her neck, murmuring, "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do."

It was a miracle Quinn even heard her mumbling and was a true testament to how practiced this position was for them. "No matter what you decide, you don't owe her anything."

Rachel breathed in deeply, allowing Quinn's words to soak in. The wind picked up around them but all she felt was warmth and reassurance in the space where Quinn's neck and shoulder met. She felt Quinn shiver and bury her face into her hair, inhaling deeply. "What would you do?" Rachel mumbled.

She could feel more than hear Quinn's wry chuckle. "I would tell her to fuck off." She sobered a little and dragged her hand underneath Rachel's sweater for warmth. "But then again I'm too prideful."

"Maybe I should be, too." She shivered when a cool palm splayed against her warm skin.

"I don't know anything about NYADA, Rachel," Quinn admitted. "But if having a recommendation from a former Broadway actress is better than having a recommendation from a wannabe, then…"

She didn't finish the sentence, the implication weighing heavily between them. "You don't think I'd get in without her recommendation?" Rachel whispered.

Quinn rubbed her thumb just below her belly button. "I don't know," she said honestly. "However, that doesn't in any way negate your talent. It's just, colleges are really fickle and picky when it comes to who they let in and who they don't. And maybe Shelby could…help," she begrudgingly added. She pressed a kiss to dark hair. "Just think about it. You don't have to decide now."

"But I'll have to decide soon," Rachel concluded. Her arms tightened around Quinn. "Have you applied to NYU?"

"Not yet."

"Quinn, the deadline is—"

"I know, Rachel," she sighed.

Rachel tensed in her arms and pulled back to get a good look at her. "Do you not want to go to New York with me?"

"No, I do," Quinn assured with another sigh. "I do. It's just…I don't want to have to rely on my father for the next four years of my life."

She licked her lips nervously, shivering as a breeze blew by. Slim arms tightened their hold around her. "What if putting your pride aside would make the difference of being in New York with me versus being here in Lima?"

"Are you saying you wouldn't be with me if I stayed here in Lima?"

Rachel almost laughed at the absurdity. "Quinn, I'll be with you regardless. I just thought that getting out of Lima was what you wanted. What we both wanted."

"I want that, I do."

"Let's just not talk about it," Rachel said quietly. "Today is supposed to be a good day, I'm excited and I don't want anything to ruin that."

Rachel rarely backed down from a conversation topic. The fact that she didn't want to discuss this further sent off all kinds of red flags in Quinn's mind. "Fair enough," she agreed. "Just remember that whether or not you take her recommendation, you don't owe her anything."

"Thank you, Quinn." She leaned up and connected their lips before saying goodbye and getting in her car. There was no way in hell she was going to allow Shelby to ruin her weekend. Her three days filled with sex weekend.

* * *

><p>Quinn walked into the house, through the hallway and kitchen, fully expecting to see Judy on the couch. Only, she wasn't. Quinn, shrugged, guessing her mother was at work and headed up the stairs. She heard rustling and singing as she neared the top of the stairs and slowed down. "Mom?"<p>

"In my room, Quinn!"

Her brow furrowed as she walked down the hallway and into Judy's room. Her mother was standing in front of her full length mirror, preening herself. "You really dressed up for this," Quinn noted, her eyebrows rising along her forehead in disbelief.

"How do I look?" Judy asked as she twirled in place.

"Like you actually care about this dinner."

Her jaw dropped in mock surprise. "I do care, Quinn. This is your girlfriend after all."

"Okay, stop." Quinn walked further into the room. "What's your angle? Seriously?"

Judy stopped her fretting over her appearance to stare directly at Quinn. "I don't know what you mean."

"You do. A year ago, hell a few _months_ ago you'd be broken out into hives by now at the thought of your youngest daughter in a lesbian relationship. Now you're ready to go over to my girlfriend's house and play nice for a few hours before your booze cruise and—"

"I think that's enough, Quinn," Judy replied tersely. "Can't you tell that I'm trying?"

Quinn sputtered for a rebuttal but one wasn't forthcoming as Judy continued. "Do I want you to be gay? No. Do I want you to have a girlfriend? No. But I'm dealing with it and I'm…I'm happy for you, Quinn."

"Why now?" Quinn demanded. "Why are you happy for me now?"

"Look around us, Quinn!" Judy exclaimed. "Do you see your father or your sister? We are all we have left. _You_ are all _I_ have left; I don't know _how_ many times I have to tell you this. I'm not going to chase you away just because you're different," she finished softly.

"So, you're only doing this because I'm all you have and you don't want to be alone," she returned, not letting up. "That's a bit selfish, don't you think?"

"It takes selfish to know selfish," Judy couldn't help but add teasingly. "Although my motives might be a tad selfish, I'd like to think that I've settled down a little in my old age." Her lips curved into a smile that confused Quinn. "I'm not as ornery as I used to be. Now, enough of that. Why don't you go put the dress on I laid out for you on your bed."

She may have settled down a bit in life, but appearances were still the utmost importance to her. That thought was solidified even more for Quinn when she walked into her room and saw that the dress on her bed was the same dress Judy was wearing. "Twins again, mom?" she called loudly. "No one ever believes it," she then grumbled to herself, plucking the hanger from the dress.

* * *

><p>"Can someone taste this chicken to see if it's ready?" Rachel asked as she removed her oven mits. She ran her arm across her forehead tiredly. She had been working on dinner for the better part of an hour now.<p>

"Gross, ask your father," Leroy said, nose upturned as he looked at the lightly golden brown bird.

"Dad!" Rachel called.

Hiram walked in from the living room with hands folded tightly across his chest. Rachel sighed, rolling her eyes to look at Leroy. "Is he still on this?"

"You're inviting the girl that took my daughter's innocence over to dinner," Hiram grumbled. "I can't believe this."

"Dad," Rachel coaxed, "I made chicken."

His eyes lit up. "Is it barbequed?"

"It's broiled."

His eyes dimmed. "I don't want any."

"Dad," she whined. "Please. Someone has to taste this before Quinn and Judy arrive. I have instant chicken in the fridge just in case."

"There's such a thing as…instant chicken?" Leroy nearly vomited.

Rachel groaned. It was amazing how her fathers went off topic all the time. She grabbed a knife from a drawer and cut a slice of chicken. "Tell me what you think," she said as she walked around the counters and towards the kitchen table. She handed the piece to Hiram and it was taken gingerly between his fingers. "It's really…white."

Leroy chuckled.

He raised the piece of chicken to his mouth. Rachel crossed her fingers. He took it into his mouth, tossing it along his tongue before chewing and swallowing. "Not bad, sweetheart. If I was a broiled chicken fan, I'd even say it was good."

Rachel squealed happily, clapping her hands together in excitement. She ripped off her apron and placed it back in the kitchen. "They should be here soon."

* * *

><p>"What are the directions to Rachel's house, Quinnie?" Judy asked as they stepped outside the door.<p>

Quinn turned to her. "We aren't riding in separate cars?"

"No, dear, same car."

She didn't leave room for argument as she walked towards her car and turned the car alarm off, opening the door and stepping inside.

* * *

><p>"Everyone get ready!" Rachel bellowed. "Daddy, your tie is a little crooked."<p>

Leroy rolled his eyes, making a show of straightening his tie. "Is this to your liking, madam?"

"You look handsome, daddy." She turned to Hiram. "As do you, dad. Red looks good on you."

Hiram smiled proudly. "I _guess_ we can let this innocence stealer into our house."

"Go easy on her, honey," Leroy told him. "I think you nearly caused her to have a heart attack on our doorstep when she came to our house last week."

Rachel frowned. "No one told me that! Dad, what did you do?"

The doorbell rang and Rachel fell completely silent. "It's them," she whispered nervously. She looked up to Leroy with wide eyes. Leroy chuckled, patting Rachel on the head before walking over towards the door. He opened it with a wide smile on his face. "Judy! So wonderful to see you again!" He leaned down, grabbing Judy in a hug.

"It's so nice to see you, too, Leroy. Where's your husband?" She walked past him, wrapping Hiram in a hug as Leroy allowed Quinn to step inside. "You guys are wearing the same dress, how nice."

Quinn cringed. This felt like the countless dinner parties she had gone to as a child that involved forced cordiality and finger foods that were—surprise!—unladylike to actually eat with your fingers.

Rachel stepped up to Judy shyly once Hiram released her. "I like your dress. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you and Quinn were twins."

Quinn glared holes through Rachel while Judy rocked back with laughter. "I told you, Quinnie!"

"You sure did," she droned with sarcasm dripping from her voice. She walked closer once her mother let go of Rachel to stand directly in front of her girlfriend. "Hi."

Rachel grinned infectiously, whispering, "Am I allowed to hug you or would you be uncomfortable with your mother—"

Her words came to an abrupt stop when Quinn wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She melted into her arms, burying her face into Quinn's neck. "You smell good," Rachel murmured hotly against her ear. Quinn shivered.

"Alright, break it up you two," Hiram called.

They all filed into the dining room and took their seats. Leroy and Judy both took seats at the opposite ends of the table. Quinn sat in the chair closest to Judy, Rachel sat beside her, and Hiram sat across from Rachel.

"I thought we should all say grace before our meal," Leroy said warmly.

Judy perked up instantly. "I think that's a wonderful idea." She leaned towards Quinn. "I really like the Berry men," she whispered.

Quinn nodded dismissively, grabbing her mother's hand to join everyone in prayer.

When the prayer was over, Rachel, Leroy and Hiram stood up. "We'll just go get the food while you guys relax."

Quinn leaned back against the chair with a wary sigh. She was still on edge about how this night would go.

"Will we be having an…actual meal, dear?" Judy asked her. "I know you told me Rachel was vegetarian and all."

"It's vegan, mom," Quinn hissed as quietly as she could when Rachel, Leroy, and Hiram returned to the room.

"Is there a difference?"

"Actually," Rachel chirped pleasantly, "there is. While vegetarians refuse to consume meat, fish, or poultry, some find it acceptable to eat dairy products, such as cheese, yogurt, what have you. Vegans on the other hand negate _all_ animal byproducts from their—our—diet. Also, we tend to be very animal friendly," she finished as Hiram dumped the plate of chicken onto the table. "…Unless we have guests over that prefer meat, fish, or…poultry." She casted a sad glance towards the chicken on her table.

Quinn winced, shooting Rachel an apologetic glance as Judy stood up and grabbed the knife beside the plate. "Which piece do you want, Quinn?"

"I'll just have the stir-fry." She pointed towards Leroy's end of the table where he was dishing out a vegetable stir-fry to Rachel and Hiram.

"Nonsense, I can't eat this all by myself," Judy said, calling her attention back.

Quinn looked down at the dead chicken on the plate. It looked like it was seasoned pretty well, firm skin that wasn't sloppy and falling off the bone. And as Judy cut into it—it looked _really _moist. "No," she said weakly. "The stir-fry is fine."

"Quinn." She turned to her left to find Rachel staring at her with slightly widened, crazed eyes. "I slaved over that bird for the better part of an hour and I'd really appreciate it if you would give it a chance."

"Fine," she grumbled, leaning closer to Rachel to whisper, "I don't want to hear you complaining later about how I ate that _poor, __defenseless__ little __bird __that __probably__ had__ a__ family __and__ spouse __to __look__ after_," she said, pitching her voice higher to impersonate her girlfriend.

Rachel huffed in indignation as Quinn turned back around and offered her plate to Judy. "A leg, please."

"How's that chicken tasting, Judy?" Leroy asked from his end of the table.

Judy cut a piece. "Looks very moist," she noted. She placed it in her mouth and then the simple sound, _Mmm_ was the only thing she was able to let out.

Rachel perked up instantly. "I cooked it! Quinn, do you like it?"

"It's really good," Quinn told her, chewing her own piece. She gently set her knife down and lowered her hand under the table, giving Rachel's thigh a squeeze. "Thank you for this."

Rachel beamed proudly. "I'm glad you like it," she whispered shyly.

"How is school going, Rachel?" Judy asked as if she was genuinely curious.

Quinn shot her a glare, knowing her mother was just sizing Rachel up.

Rachel picked up her napkin and dabbed the corners of her mouth. "School is going really well. Thank you for asking."

"Do you know where you want to go to college?"

"NYADA," she instantly replied with. "I'm really hoping to go into their musical theatre department."

"Oh, sounds nice, dear. I was trying to get Quinn here to apply to Yale."

"Yale, Quinn!" Rachel squealed in her ear. She grabbed her arm, yanking on it. "You didn't tell me you were applying to _Yale_; that's so amazing." Quinn grimaced while Rachel flailed. "My girlfriend is going to Yale." She turned to her fathers. "My _girlfriend _is going to _Yale._"

"Oh, she can't get in now," Judy stated matter of factly. "Her grades took that dreadful plummet at the beginning of the year and no Ivy League is going to want to get involved with a former delinquent."

Everyone in the room seemed to take a collective step back. Quinn stared down at her plate morosely. It felt like everyone was staring at her, seeing how she was going to react or forming their own opinions about her. "Excuse me," Quinn mumbled, getting up from the table with squared back shoulders and walking towards the stairs. Rachel took off silently after her.

"Quinn, wait," she said quietly once they reached the top of the stairs. She grabbed her hand and tugged on it, leading the way to her room. "What happened?" Quinn walked into the room, pacing, and Rachel shut the door behind her. "Everything's fine. Judy made a comment—you know how your mother is."

"Everyone is judging me now for what I did over summer," Quinn replied tightly.

"No one is judging you. Hey," Rachel stood in front of her and Quinn nearly knocked her over while she was pacing. Rachel grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place as wild hazel eyes focused everywhere but on her. "You know my parents; you know this house, Quinn. We _never _judge anyone and that doesn't change just because the most judgemental person in your life is at our dinner table."

Her arms slid around tense shoulders to play with the wispy, dirty blonde hair at the nape of Quinn's neck. "Lighten up a little, baby. No one is judging you. And you shouldn't be so hard on Judy right now because you know what? She's here. And she's making an effort; that's more than what I could have said for her a year ago."

A year ago, Judy wouldn't have even recognized Quinn's sexuality. Two years ago, Quinn would have shoved Rachel away for touching her. But right here, right now, Judy was downstairs making small talk with Rachel's parents and Quinn could feel the coiled muscles in her neck loosen and her shoulders droop as Rachel kneaded her fingers into the back of her neck. She rested her hands on slim hips and pulled her closer.

Rachel kissed the underside of her jaw softly, pulling back to look at her. "Are you okay? Are you ready to go back down and try again?"

Quinn nodded. "I guess."

Rachel grabbed her hand and pulled her along. "I made that dinner, Quinn Fabray, and I'd appreciate it if you…ate it." Her brow furrowed at how weirdly that sounded. Quinn laughed quietly behind her as they walked down the stairs.

"And then she says to me, 'Mommy, why does Frannie _always_ get to go out with daddy?'" Quinn heard Judy say as she and Rachel walked back downstairs.

"Not this story again," she grumbled.

Rachel gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as they walked back to the table and reclaimed their seats. "So, is everyone enjoying dinner?" Rachel asked, hoping to steer the conversation.

"It's wonderful, Rachel," Judy told her. "Do you like it Quinn?"

Quinn took a deep, calming breath, picking her fork and knife back up again. "I do."

Rachel leveled her fathers with a pleading gaze.

"So, Judy, how is work?" Hiram asked conversationally.

"Wonderful," she chirped, popping a small piece of chicken into her mouth. "Sometimes I don't know who works later hours, me or Quinn." She laughed politely at her own joke, Quinn joining without really meaning to because _maybe _her mother really was trying in a…Judy kind of way.

"I would say I work more hours," Quinn said back in a modified voice that resembled teasing. "Who puts more bread on the table?"

Judy smirked. "Did you mean bacon, dear?"

Quinn's amusement was more genuine as she tipped her head as if to tell her 'well done'.

Rachel watched the whole thing with wide, curious and confused eyes. She would never understand the way Fabrays showed affection but as long as Quinn and Judy were remotely getting along, she wasn't going to get in the way of that.

"Now, Leroy and Hiram, I hate to be the one to bring this up, but I learned two years ago that no matter how much teaching you instill in a child, children will always be children."

Quinn's blood ran cold. Her chin lowered as she placed her utensils on the plate, suddenly losing her appetite.

"What's wrong?" Rachel whispered.

"We're about to be completely embarrassed," Quinn whispered back.

"Quinn doesn't really tell me anything about her life. Rachel has never been to our house and I assume that Quinn comes here to spend time with her." She sat up straighter in her seat. "I guess what I'm asking is: how do you safeguard against sex?"

Rachel's eyes widened. Oh. _Oh_.

"Mom—"

Judy hesitated, turning towards Quinn. "I was just wondering if you and Rachel, well, if the two of you engage in sex." She winced at the sound of that word and her daughter being used in the same sentence. Again. "I just don't want to—" she gestured vaguely while Quinn died a little inside. "Do lesbians have sex? I don't want to sound ignorant and assume."

Rachel made an amused sound in the back of her throat and leaned forward in her seat to have a better line of communication with Judy. "Well, yes, they do and—"

"They have sex," Hiram piped up to Quinn's displeasure. "And apparently phone sex."

"This is just _lovely_," Quinn griped to herself.

"Dad!"

"Oh," Judy murmured, angling her head towards Quinn. "I think that was more than I wanted to know."

"Definitely a lot more than I wanted you to know," Quinn replied. It took everything she had not to glare over at Hiram. He had probably been waiting for the right moment to drop that little bombshell. Quinn had almost no doubt her sex life, or lately lack thereof, would come up, especially with how obnoxiously open and honest the Berry household was. She just really, _really_ didn't have an inkling that of all the people at the table to bring it up, it would be her mother.

"To answer your question, Judy," Rachel spoke up, determined to be heard. "Lesbians are _very_ much capable of having sex."

"Okay, you're done." Quinn grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her back into her seat a little more.

Judy blinked owlishly at everyone around the table, starting with Hiram and finishing with Quinn. "Well," she said quietly.

"Mom—"

"I'm fine." Her voice sounded a little too chipper to the trained ear. "See? I'm handling it. No harm done. My…my Quinn is a-a lesbian that has lesbian sex—apparently lesbians have invented a way to have sex." Her voice was slowly rising.

Quinn's eyes closed with a wry chuckle. "You're handling this pretty well," she admitted.

"Mhm."

The rest of dinner was relatively quiet. Judy didn't chime into conversations much and Quinn didn't push her. This was a huge step for her. For now, the fact that she was there at all was enough for Quinn.

"Thank you, dear," Judy said as Rachel grabbed her plate from the table.

"Thank you," Quinn said as well. She looked up to Rachel as her plate was taken. Dark brown eyes smoldered with a passion they didn't have twenty minutes ago when everyone was in the middle of dinner. Quinn couldn't pinpoint where Rachel's sudden excitement came from. They had barely touched during dinner aside from a few hand grazes under the table.

Judy stood from the table and Quinn did as well. "Well, thank you for this lovely dinner, everyone. We will definitely have to do this again."

"You're leaving already, Judy?" Leroy called from the kitchen, elbows deep in dish water. "I was thinking we could play some cards, watch a movie or something."

Judy followed Leroy's voice towards the kitchen. "I would love to, but I have a prior engagement that…"

Quinn pushed in her mother's chair and walked towards Rachel. "That wasn't so bad now was it?" Rachel asked, wrapping her arms around Quinn's shoulders.

Quinn returned her embrace with a shrug. "It wasn't _awful_," she admitted.

Rachel pulled Quinn closer, leaning on the tip of her toes to get level with her ear. "So, I have another idea."

"Will it get me laid?" Quinn asked, remembering the fire she saw earlier in Rachel's eyes.

"As a matter of fact," she began, "it will. Just follow my lead."

Didn't she always?

Rachel slipped away from Quinn's hold to walk over to Judy, all wide eyed and innocent. "Judy, I was wondering if Quinn and I could have a sleepover at your house?"

Hiram perked up, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It would just be us, Santana, and Brittany," she added.

Judy's gaze flicked over Rachel's shoulder to Quinn. "Santana and Brittany aren't one of those…skanks, are they?"

"They're the same girls I was on Cheerios with since freshman year."

"The girls that you used to have the sleepovers with," Judy said slowly with recognition. "Oh, that's fine. Have fun and stay away from the wine cellar." With that, she turned around and hurried towards the door. "Thank you again Leroy and Hiram! We will certainly have to do this again." Before they could respond, she was out of the door.

Quinn chuckled, walking towards the door. "I better go before she's late."

"Wait for me!" Rachel darted up the stairs for her coat. She grabbed her duffel bag of essentials by the wall towards the door and swung it on her shoulder, looking like Santa Claus with a bag of goodies as she took the stairs two at a time.

"So…" Hiram drawled as she was passing the kitchen. "Santana and Brittany are going to be there, right?"

Rachel turned around, nodding. "Yes." She didn't even blink once.

Leroy fought an impressed smile.

"Have fun, sweetheart." Hiram gave her a hug before walking back to the kitchen to finish washing dishes.

Leroy stood there staring at her for a moment. It took one look for Rachel to understand that he knew _exactly_ what she was up to. It was a look that encompassed everything, seeming to say, _I__ know __exactly__ what__ you__'__re __doing, __but __you __technically__ aren__'__t __breaking__ the__ rules__ so __I__'__ll __let __it__ slide_.

"Thank you, daddy."

He grimaced. "I don't mind having a vague idea that you have sex, but knowing exactly _when _you're going to have sex is a bit much."

She giggled and cringed all at once. "Sorry."

"At least one of us has to be the parent you can come to when you have questions and concerns about sex." He smiled a little. "And at least Quinn is…vanilla."

"Daddy!" She blushed furiously.

"Have a good night." He stepped closer and wrapped her in a hug. "And if you could, I don't know, _not _have sex, that would be great."

Rachel bid him goodbye once more and walked out of the house, got in her car, and followed Quinn and Judy all the way to their house, butterflies in her stomach the entire way.

* * *

><p>"I wish I could stay longer, but I have to go," Judy said hurriedly, lugging her suitcases towards the door. "Quinn, you know the number to the pizza place is on the fridge."<p>

"Yes, ma'am," Quinn said, nearly rushing her mother out of the door. "Have fun on your booze cruise."

"I wish you'd quit calling it that," Judy grumbled, halfway out the door. "Kisses."

Quinn placed a light kiss against her cheek, then Judy was gone.

Quinn waited patiently until she heard her car pulling out of the driveway and down the street.

Rachel watched the scene, leaning back against the couch, her hands clasped behind her tightly. Quinn locked the door, strolling along the house until she was in the living room, right in front of Rachel. "You are a genius."

Rachel preened herself. "This is true."

Quinn grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer, fusing their lips together. Rachel gripped onto Quinn's shoulders, pulling her closer. She hopped up to sit along the back of the couch and Quinn was quick to close that space, standing between Rachel's legs. "I've been wanting to do this for so long," Rachel moaned as her hips rocked along Quinn's stomach.

"So have I." Quinn took a plump bottom lip between her teeth, sucking until Rachel whimpered. "I thought we'd never have sex again." Her kisses trailed down Rachel's jaw until she pressed her lips deeply into the base of her neck, sliding her tongue along the soft skin. Rachel groaned loudly, pumping her hips into the firm muscles under Quinn's dress that provided just enough friction.

"I—wait," she breathed. "I have a surprise for you."

"Mmm, and I have one for you," Quinn purred, sliding her hand along Rachel's thigh.

"Quinn, no, I mean I really have a surprise." She gripped Quinn's shoulder. "And if you want it then you have to let me up."

Quinn sighed heavily against her neck. "Rachel, this surprise better be damn good."

Rachel kissed her temple. "It will be."

Reluctantly, Quinn pulled back, grabbing Rachel's hand and helping her off the couch and onto shaky legs. Rachel walked over to her duffel bag and picked it up.

"I thought that only had your clothes in there," Quinn said confusedly. "Unless you have something you're going to wear for me in there."

Rachel blushed at all the images that flooded her mind. "I have other things in here. Now, I'm going to your room to get your surprise ready. Promise me you won't come up."

"It's my room," she grumbled.

"Promise me, Quinn. Your surprise will be ruined if you come up before I tell you."

"Fine," she said. "I won't come up." She walked around the couch and flung herself down, resigned to the fact that instant gratification was never in store for her no matter how much she tried.

Rachel leaned over the couch to kiss her lips. "It'll be worth it, baby. I promise."

She hoisted the bag over her shoulder and walked up the stairs. She flicked the lights on and closed the door. Her jaw instantly dropped as she stared at Quinn's queen sized bed. It was so fitting. Her sheets were silk and ink black. She almost rolled her eyes at the cliché but they looked so nice and comfortable. Rachel dropped her bag in the middle of the floor and bent down to take out the candles. She placed them all around the room, then lit a few matches to light them all. Then she ran back over to the light switch and flicked it off, making sure she and Quinn would still be able to see. She turned the lights back on, took out the mix CD entitled _Baby__ Makin__' __Music_ that Mercedes had burned for her. She put it in the CD player in the far corner of Quinn's room, blowing the dust off and scowling at the thought that something as useful as a CD player was collecting dust in the corner of Quinn's room. Afterwards, she took out the bag of rose pedals she got from the flower shop. She scattered several along Quinn's bed. She then created a trail leading from the door to the bed.

Then, she stood back, reciting her list of ways she planned to wow Quinn in the bedroom as she looked over her handiwork. Everything looked beautiful and she patted herself on the back for it.

Rachel exited the room, closing the door behind her. She scampered elatedly back down the hallway. There were terrible butterflies that fluttered excitedly in her stomach. She stood at the top of the stairs, hands clasped together in front of her. "You can come up now."

A smile curved Quinn's lips upwards at the thought of finally having her curiosity sated.


	23. Chapter 23

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**NC-17

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**Gee, I wonder why I got so many story alerts after the last chapter.

Bunch of pervs, haha.

* * *

><p>Rachel scampered elatedly back down the hallway. There were terrible butterflies that fluttered excitedly in her stomach. She stood at the top of the stairs, hands clasped together in front of her. "You can come up now."<p>

A smile curved Quinn's lips upwards at the thought of finally having her curiosity sated. She stood up and walked up the stairs until she was one below Rachel. They were finally the same height and it amused her that it took Rachel being a step higher for her to finally be the same height as her. "What's my surprise?"

Rachel smiled nervously and grabbed her hand. She pulled her along, the hallway seeming to lengthen with each step they took. When they reached Quinn's door, Rachel abruptly spun around to face her. "I just want you to know that," she took a deep breath, "I love you so very much, Quinn. And the dinner we had tonight with our parents—though awkward at times—has done nothing but solidify for me the fact that I want to do this with you."

Quinn squeezed her hand reassuringly, leaning down to kiss her. "I love you, too, Rachel. But…do what?"

Rachel took another deep breath before turning back around, opening the door and stepping inside, pulling Quinn along.

There was a trail of rose pedals that led to Quinn's bed in the middle of the room. Black bed sheets were littered with soft, deep red rose pedals. The lights were off and candles dimly lit the room, casting shadows that danced along the walls and Quinn could hear faint music in the background, lulling her into a sense of calm. The way Rachel always did.

Only, she didn't stay calm for long. Her heart was palpitating, her chest rising and falling a little faster than it had been, her fingers squeezing Rachel's every so often. "Rachel," she whispered tremulously. "What is this?"

Rachel smiled at the shakiness of her voice and turned around to look up at her. "I wanted to give you a first time you wouldn't look back on in regret."

Her brow furrowed sadly. "But I've already—"

"It doesn't matter to me," Rachel told her. "_I_ want to give you a first time because I want it to be special and to mean something to you—to us."

Quinn grabbed her cheeks with shaky hands and leaned down to kiss her fiercely. Rachel tried her best to hang on, grabbing at Quinn's hips as a slippery tongue parted her lips and dipped inside. "I love you," Quinn whispered when she pulled back. "I love you so much."

Before Rachel knew anything, she was slowly being backed up towards the bed, Quinn kissing her heatedly the entire way. Quinn felt completely overwhelmed, her chest tightening and heart hammering with so much _emotion _that she just really needed to spill it all over her girlfriend.

Rachel toppled backwards onto the bed. Her eyes shot open to see her girlfriend hovering over her, chest heaving with rapidly darkening hazel eyes. Quinn grabbed the skirt of her dress, hiking it up and pressed a bare knee into the mattress below her just outside of Rachel's thigh. She kicked her shoes off absentmindedly before climbing fully onto the bed, straddling Rachel and kissing her softly. Rachel cupped her cheeks to keep her close, sliding her lips over Quinn's eagerly as if she was never going to get the chance again. Her tongue slid over the seam of full lips and she moaned as Quinn sucked on it.

"Baby, I—we have to—take your dress off," she finally managed to gasp out. Quinn kissed her one more time before sitting up, staring down at her.

"Take it off for me," she husked.

Rachel moaned and sat up, motioning for Quinn to turn around. She kicked her shoes off before situating herself more on the bed. Her fingers fumbled while grabbing for the zipper and she bit into the nape of Quinn's neck when her girlfriend laughed at her rare show of clumsiness.

"Rachel," Quinn groaned when she pulled back. "You know that's not fair."

She kissed the shell of her ear. "There's probably going to be quite a bit going on tonight that won't be fair."

With that, she slowly began pulling the zipper down. Creamy, unblemished skin became exposed to hungry brown eyes in the dim light of the bedroom. Rachel leaned down, placing kisses to every inch of skin she found. Quinn sat up on her knees as the zipper made it to the base of her spine and Rachel leaned lower. She gasped lowly in muted surprise at the tattoo centered on Quinn's lower back. She had forgotten all about its existence since Quinn had opted for more conservative clothing that no longer exposed that tantalizing sliver of skin that was her lower back. Something inside of Rachel clenched unexpectedly at the knowledge that no one, including herself, had seen this much of Quinn in months. This was _hers _to see and though wholly impractical and silly, the tattoo managed to serve as its own aphrodisiac. She leaned forward, moaning as her tongue slid sideways along the tattoo.

Quinn's eyes clamped shut as her hips rocked forward at the unexpected contact. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire, sending out signals from one to the other that simply told her everything felt pleasurable. Rachel's teeth softly closed around the sensitive skin and Quinn moaned, feeling her nipples harden and wetness coat the inside of her underwear. "Baby, take it off," she moaned.

Rachel nodded, pressing one more kiss to the tattoo. Quinn couldn't help but shiver. Rachel rose up, sliding the straps of Quinn's dress off her shoulders. She grabbed her by the waist, sliding the dress down her hips and legs.

When Quinn turned around, Rachel's breath hitched in her throat. She felt like she was about to be eaten alive as Quinn slithered out of the remainder of the dress and began climbing up the bed. Rachel backed up, a tongue dragging along her lip as Quinn grabbed the front of her sweater just as she did a few days ago while they were at her locker. Quinn tugged on the sweater until Rachel was up and resting on her knees in the middle of the bed just like she was. She grabbed the hem of her sweater. "Are you ready?" she asked quietly.

Rachel leaned her forehead against Quinn's, breathing ragged. This was it. She was going to make love to her soulmate and that thought alone caused her heart to beat strongly in her chest. She nodded against Quinn's forehead. "I'm ready," she breathed.

It was the same thing Rachel had told her when they first had sex.

Quinn eased the hem of her sweater up slowly. Her fingers glided along smooth tan skin all the way up and Rachel released a breathy whimper into the space between them when the palm of Quinn's hands brushed over her nipples as she pushed the sweater higher. It was off of Rachel's head a second later, tossed unceremoniously to the floor. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn and pressed their bodies together, feeling completely bare, though Quinn had seen her in various states of undress before. But this time she would be fully nude and the thought alone caused her to tremble.

Quinn leaned forward and brushed their lips together softly. "You okay?"

Rachel nodded, burying her face into Quinn's neck as long fingers skated down her torso. One rested on her hip, rubbing soothing circles against warm skin, as the other fingered the zipper on the side of her skirt. Quinn looked down to watch the zipper slowly part until the skirt fell away completely, lavender panties that hugged slim hips coming into view. She bit back a charmed laugh at how cute Rachel looked.

"I really like these," she murmured, sliding her finger up Rachel's thigh and into the elastic of her underwear. She pulled on it then removed her finger, causing it to snap back to tan skin.

Rachel jolted, pulling back and looking down at where Quinn's hands just were. Her gaze slid over to tight, black panties that hugged Quinn's shapelier hips. She lingered there, eventually sliding her eyes along femininely defined abs, a modest chest, up a long, pale throat, to land on rapidly darkening hazel eyes. "I'll never get over how beautiful you are," Rachel whispered as her eyes raked down Quinn's body again.

Quinn reached out, running a finger down Rachel's torso. She had on a new, matching bra and panty set and Quinn couldn't help but be charmed at how much her girlfriend went all out for this.

Rachel's body was perfect. Her breasts were small but perky, heaving against her lavender bra; her skin was smooth and tan, soft and pliable. Her stomach was soft and youthful, her thighs firm. Her body hadn't gone through the labor and trauma of being pregnant. Rachel was still youthful and so _innocent._ She didn't have a treasure trail and that thought choked Quinn's vocal chords. "You need to know that you're beautiful, too." Her hands curved around Rachel's hips and she tugged her closer, wrapping her whole body around her. "Don't ever allow anyone to tell you you're not." She pulled back and kissed her cheek softly. "Not Santana," she kissed her other cheek, "Not Brittany," she kissed her nose, "Not a single Cheerio, football player, basketball player, or hockey player," she leaned up and finally kissed her on the forehead, "And certainly not me."

Rachel trembled in her arms as Quinn ran her nose softly down her face until she connected their lips. She ran her tongue along Rachel's bottom lip before taking it between her own, sucking forcefully. Rachel's arms wound around Quinn's neck, moaning when even teeth sank into her bottom lip. She pulled back, kneading her fingers into the nape of Quinn's neck. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?" she asked timidly.

Quinn shivered, curling her finger around a lock of hair that had fallen flatteringly along Rachel's cheek. She was all big, expressive, dark eyes, impossibly long eyelashes, full lips, sculpted cheekbones and a cute nose—and she was _really_ asking her if she thought she was beautiful? "You're so beautiful, Rachel. Never again allow me to make you feel any different, okay?"

She felt a cascade of emotions swirl in her chest as pressure built behind her eyes. "No crying," Quinn murmured when she saw brown eyes shine wetly. Her lips twisted into a teasing grin. "My new first time doesn't involve tears."

Rachel's laugh gurgled. She cleared her throat, willing her tears away so that she could make love to Quinn. "Lie down," she instructed softly. She pivoted to the side so that Quinn could have the head of the bed.

Quinn rested back against the pillows, staring up at Rachel. Her breathing shortened nervously at the thought of not being in control of the situation. But Rachel looked down at her with the most tender and reassuring eyes that sparkled with love and affection, with barely masked lust that simmered underneath and was waiting for the appropriate opportunity to present itself.

She swallowed thickly at rapidly darkening brown eyes as Rachel lowered to hover above her. Her eyes were nearly pitch black but still held the tenderness that Quinn would always recognize.

"I'm a little nervous," Rachel whispered as if it was a secret between the two of them.

Quinn smiled up at her, her nerves washing away at the thought of Rachel not fully being in control either. They were on the same level, it seemed. "Don't be." She reached up and cupped Rachel's cheek in her hand, brushing her thumb back and forth. "Thankfully we have all night. Just do what feels comfortable. We'll get there."

Rachel felt kind of silly that Quinn had to coach her through what was supposed to be her new first time but the reassurance was needed. She nuzzled into the hand on her cheek, placing a kiss on her palm before leaning down and kissing her lips. She allowed the soothing beat of the faint music in the background to lull her heart into a less erratic beat as she leaned further down, molding her body to Quinn's and kissing her thoroughly. Numbers five and six were already crossed off her lists. She had picked up three romance novels from her local CVS store and read the romance scenes from them thoroughly. They always left her blushing and more knowledgeable in what to do.

She pulled away, staring down at red, kiss swollen lips. Everything in her was screaming at her to kiss those lips even harder, but she relented. She had a pretty strict itinerary that she had written up a few days ago when Quinn wanted her to go over her house and she didn't plan on deviating from it. She leaned up and brushed her lips against Quinn's forehead. "I love you," she whispered tremulously.

Quinn splayed her hands along Rachel's lower back, hoping to ground her. "I Quinn Fabray love you, _baby_."

Her eyes closed as a quiet giggle bubbled in her chest. "And I Rachel Berry love you, _baby_." Quinn smiled teasingly up at her with a small blush on her cheeks when Rachel pulled back.

Rachel's lips brushed along her warm cheek, down her jawline and just under her chin. She felt more than heard a rumbling purr tickle Quinn's vocal chords as her lips pressed onto her neck. She kissed along her collarbone, dipping lower to rub her tongue into tempting cleavage.

Quinn hissed in a quiet breath, burying one hand into Rachel's hair to encourage her. Rachel kissed along the amount of Quinn's breast that wasn't encased in her bra. Her lips closed around and sucked unblemished pale skin until it was pink and red. Her hair was tugged downward and she obliged, laving the hardened nipple that scratched against a black bra.

Quinn cried out softly at the feel of Rachel's hot mouth encasing her nipple as best it could with the barrier of her bra in the way. "Take it off," she gritted out.

Rachel smiled against her, pulling the cup of Quinn's bra down. She moaned at the sight of her girlfriend's painfully erect pink nipple begging her for attention. She sucked it firmly into her mouth as Quinn arched with a languorous moan.

"Suck harder, baby," she instructed gently, combing her fingers through dark brown hair. Rachel bit down then drew Quinn into her mouth harder and those fingers combing through her hair, weaved and held fast. "Just like that," she groaned. Number three was definitely checked off her list.

Rachel felt the press of Quinn's hips almost immediately. She pulled the straps of Quinn's bra down, looking back up at her. "Baby, can I take it all the way off?"

"Why are you asking?" Quinn sat up immediately, flicking the clasp of her bra with one hand and flinging it away. She flopped back down and Rachel wrapped her lips around her other nipple, thumbing the now wet neglected one she had been playing with earlier.

Quinn writhed and whimpered beneath her and Rachel couldn't have felt more powerful. The former head cheerleader and former president of the celibacy club was pressing her hips wantonly into Rachel's hipbone, trying to scratch an itch that Rachel would later have to dig deeper to satisfy _for_ her. A small, breathless laugh escaped her at the thought.

Quinn's hips slowed at the sound but she couldn't quite get them to stop moving all together. "What are you laughing at?"

Rachel released a rosy red nipple from her mouth with a wet pop. Her cheeks flushed prettily. "It's just…you're _Quinn_. And I—I get to do this to you."

It seemed her own novelty would never wear off for her girlfriend and the thought alone made Quinn blush. Everyone else looked at her like she was dull, damaged goods but Rachel always looked at her like she was polished clean and shiny. "You've got to take me off this pedestal you have me on, Rachel," she half-heartedly chastised. "Everyone else has."

"I never will," Rachel replied earnestly.

Quinn was about to respond but wet, warm lips wrapped around her nipple again and all that came out was a strangled noise as her hips rose sharply against Rachel's hipbone.

Rachel placed one parting kiss to each nipple and a kiss between her breasts before kissing lower. Her eyes slammed shut and she groaned in disappointment at herself. She was supposed to kiss _non-erogenous_ zones first and here she was, making love to Quinn's breasts which were most definitely erogenous zones. Her forehead dropped to Quinn's stomach. She hadn't followed her itinerary the way she was supposed to.

She felt fingers softly comb through her hair. "What's wrong?"

Rachel sighed. She looked up at Quinn forlornly. "I didn't follow my itinerary."

Quinn looked down with a gentle smile at those big, sad eyes looking back up at her. "You planned out what you were going to do to me?"

Rachel nodded. "I was supposed to kiss non-erogenous zones first then make my way to erogenous zones but…I didn't follow through with that."

A low, breathy chuckle fell from Quinn's lips as she pulled Rachel back up to her. She kissed her softly on the lips. "Honestly? I don't think I have any non-erogenous zones when it comes to you."

Rachel's heart swelled with pride and wetness pooled between her legs in arousal. "Really?"

Quinn hummed quietly and kissed her again. "Keep going. You haven't messed anything up."

She kissed her way back down to Quinn's stomach. Her tongue peeked out to lave at her abdominal muscles reverently. They bunched and twisted with each twirl of her tongue and scrape of her teeth. Quinn's hand fisted into the sheets when Rachel's tongue worked into the hollow of her hip. She was so wet, could feel it slicking her folds and ruining her underwear and she was so _surprised_. She didn't know she could get this wet.

Rachel watched curiously as a rose pedal rose from the bed slightly as Quinn pawed impatiently at her sheets. She picked it up, placing it on Quinn's stomach. The stark contrast of creamy skin and the deep red almost maroon color of the rose pedal looked like poetry. She blew a little, watching the rose pedal skirt along rippling abdominal muscles.

Quinn gasped in surprise at the change of texture, looking down to see Rachel blowing the pedal across her skin. Cool breath caused goosebumps to rise as the rose pedal tickled her sensitized flesh.

Rachel looked up to see half-lidded dark hazel eyes watching her in curiosity and arousal. Quinn's blush was full on, staining everywhere from her cheeks to her heaving chest. Rachel held those penetrating eyes, hooking her fingers into lace underwear. She peeled them back, pulling them down slowly as she watched Quinn for a reaction. Her chest rose and fell more rapidly in anticipation as Rachel slid her underwear down her thighs. Finally, Rachel broke eye contact. She stared hard at wet, pink flesh that dripped liquid between quivering thighs and moaned at the sight of it all. It was so pretty and looked so vulnerable, like the most precious part of Quinn and Rachel couldn't believe Noah Puckerman had treated something this special so carelessly.

She looked back up to find Quinn staring down at her in uncertainty, waiting for her to say something. But for once, Rachel was speechless. She didn't know words that could convey her gratitude for being able to see this, _have _this. She couldn't express how it made her feel, how wet and ready it made her. She ran her tongue along her lower lip, removing the pair of underwear completely and flinging it away. There she was, knelt between Quinn's spread legs and in all of her wildest dreams, she had never thought she would be here.

"Still nervous?" Quinn whispered.

She nodded jerkily. "More like, in awe, though."

"Why?"

Rachel laughed in disbelief at the question. "Do you see yourself? You're naked, and spread before me and you-you _want_ me and _trust_ me to take care of you."

"I do," Quinn told her with a nod.

Rachel's gaze dipped back down between her legs. She could never keep her eyes off of her for long. "What do I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," she whimpered.

Quinn sat up on her elbows, looking down at Rachel between her legs. The image completely destroyed her and it took all her will power not to allow her eyes to roll up in her head with a moan. "Like I said, Rachel, we have all night."

"But I want you now."

"Then _take__ me_ now," she urged, need lacing her voice.

Rachel's mouth opened in a quiet gasp. There was so much need in that sentence that it amazed her. Quinn _needed _her. It was enough to kick start her into motion. She leaned onto her hands and knees, lying down in front of the body before her. She was eye level with neatly trimmed wet sex that smelled musky and alluring, pulling her closer. Her fingers reached out, tracing through open folds and Quinn's thighs trembled, threatening to close in around her. "Can I taste you?"

"Stop asking questions," Quinn moaned.

Her hand cupped the back of Rachel's head, not once applying any force. Rachel leaned forward on her own, running her tongue up the length of her slit.

Quinn bowed off the bed with a whimper. _Finally_. Her mind turned completely to mush as she sank into the mattress. Rachel did it again, dragging her tongue slowly through those drenched folds. She paused for a bit, tasting the essence of what her girlfriend had to offer and concluded that she could do this, she could _like_ doing this.

Before she knew it, she saw Quinn's hand down where she was. She watched Quinn part herself with long fingers. "Right here," she said quietly, gesturing to what Rachel astutely guessed was her clit. She wrapped her lips around it and _sucked_ like she knew what she was doing. And she must have been doing something right if Quinn was pulling and tugging on her hair, writhing above her and cursing Rachel's name.

Rachel pulled back. Her mouth was soaked, wetness dripping down to her chin and she clambered up Quinn's body licking her lips. "Am I doing this right?"

Quinn purred, completely turned on by how red and wet Rachel's lips were. She grabbed her face and kissed her forcefully, slipping her tongue into her mouth and moaning at her own taste. "You're doing really well," she assured.

Rachel smiled down at her. Number four on her list was definitely a check. Her expression turned sheepish as she rested her forehead against Quinn's. "I don't really know how to—you know," she muttered, her eyes clenched shut.

Quinn laughed breathlessly. She slid her hand around the back of Rachel's neck and held her there. "I thought you researched this," she teased warmly.

"Yes, well, researching and putting it into practice are two different things. I want to be perfect for you so I can better please you."

"You don't have to be perfect. _I _won't even be perfect and I've done this before. We'll learn."

Rachel sighed, her warm breath fanning across Quinn's face. "I just want to be better than—"

Quinn shushed her quietly, leaning up to kiss her. "You're better than all of them." Her hand slid from the back of Rachel's neck to grab her hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. "Ready?"

Rachel nodded, leaning down to kiss her once more.

Quinn trailed their hands down her body, shivering as the palm of Rachel's hand ran across her skin. They immersed themselves into her drenched folds, Rachel moaning against her lips as warm liquid coated her fingertips. Quinn led them to her opening. "Two fingers," she whispered against Rachel's lips.

Rachel smiled. "Sometimes three." She extended her middle and ring fingers, allowing Quinn to ease her inside. Soft, wet walls gripped her instantly, trying to pull her inside. She bit her lip, eyebrows furrowing at the amount of searing heat that wrapped around her like a second skin.

Quinn panted mutedly below her. She felt absolutely indescribable. Rachel was so caring and gentle, resting inside of her just in case she needed time to adjust. But Quinn didn't need time. She needed those fingers moving inside of her quickly or she was going to go insane.

"Pull out," she coaxed lowly, pulling Rachel by the wrist. Rachel looked down at the wetness that coated her fingers as she pulled out. "You're so wet, Quinn," she breathed in awe.

A pretty blush colored her cheeks deeper as she helped Rachel push her fingers back in. They reached deeper this time and her jaw became unhinged with a deep moan as her own hand fell away. Rachel continued on her own, pulling out and pushing back into slick, tight heat. Quinn pulsed around her fingers with each thrust. Rachel whimpered, "Baby, I—this is—there are no words."

"I know," Quinn agreed. Before she knew it her hips were rolling slowly into Rachel's fingers. "Curl your fingers." Rachel curled them immediately and Quinn's eyes clenched shut, eyebrows knitting together. "Fuck, just like that."

She sped up the pace of her fingers, curling them just like Quinn wanted. She looked up from her hand between her girlfriend's legs to find Quinn staring at her, mouth agape. Rachel leaned down and kissed her swollen lips. She slid over her lips, more breathing going on than kissing. "I love you, I love, I love you," she whispered openly against her lips.

"I love you," Quinn whimpered. "Harder, please."

Rachel pulled back, slamming her fingers back into Quinn with a little more force than before. "I feel like I'm hurting you," she mumbled.

Quinn laughed breathlessly. "Do I look like I'm hurting?"

Her eyes roamed over her face, taking in her mussed hair, parted, red swollen lips, half-lidded eyes. "You look beautiful." Rachel's tongue dipped into her cleft chin, tracing into the dimple.

Quinn clamped her eyes shut again. There was no way she was going to be able to feel Rachel moving inside of her, watch her pant breathlessly above her with dark bangs sticking to her forehead, _and_ listen to her give her compliments in the low timbre her voice had taken on. Something had to give or she was going to come within the next thirty seconds.

She grabbed the back of Rachel's head and pulled her down into a forceful kiss. There was no way she was ever going to love anyone more than she loved the girl in her bed, _inside _of her right now. Her hips rocked faster into Rachel's fingers, her breath hitching. She felt tears gathering and clenched her eyes shut harder as she dragged her lips along Rachel's.

Rachel listened to Quinn's whimpers growing closer and closer together. She tried to pull back to look at her but Quinn held firm, smoothing the palm of her hands along her cheeks and holding her close. When one of her whimpers sounded more like a sob, Rachel pulled back to look down at her.

She was _crying_ and so extraordinarily beautiful. Rachel leaned down and kissed a tear away. "Happy tears?"

Quinn nodded with a whimper. Her arms wrapped tightly around Rachel and crushed their bodies together. "Rachel, don't-don't leave."

"I won't," she promised, kissing along Quinn's neck.

She felt fluttering around her fingers and the tightening of inner walls clamping down further. Quinn whined as those fingers curled harder inside of her, burying her face into Rachel's shoulder. "You promise?"

It was one of those things Rachel was still getting used to, Quinn opening up during sex or anything remotely close that gave her an orgasm. Something about physical intimacy sometimes brought out her deepest insecurities. And Rachel would always reassure her. They never talked about it afterwards because somewhere deep inside, Quinn knew they were irrational, just needed the reassurance sometimes.

"I promise, baby." She moaned loudly, jerking her hips forward when Quinn bit her shoulder to muffle her own moans. She felt Quinn's muscles pulse and constrict with more force as Quinn's hips slammed upwards one more time. Her head tossed back with a long moan, Rachel's name falling from her lips as her orgasm washed through her. Every nerve tingled to life from her head, down to her toes that were curling in pleasure. She panted through the never ending pleasure. Just when it seemed like it would stop, Rachel would curl her fingers experimentally and she would be flung into mind-numbing pleasure again.

When it seemed like it wasn't going to stop on its own, she reached down and weakly grappled for Rachel's wrist, stilling her thrusting and curling. Rachel looked down at her, a little distressed. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Right," she choked out, trying to catch her breath. "You did everything right. A little too right. I'm about to go into sensory overload." She had had no _idea_ she had been capable of having multiple orgasms all this time.

Rachel couldn't help but smile proudly. She had just given Quinn an orgasm on her first try. "Wipe that smug look off your face," Quinn laughed lazily, stretching underneath Rachel.

"Nope." She leaned down, nuzzling her nose along Quinn's. "Did you like it?"

"I came twice," she drawled wryly. "What's not to like?"

"Baby," Rachel intoned quietly.

Quinn smiled faintly, knowing Rachel needed that validation. "I loved it," she said softly.

Rachel squealed happily and mashed their lips together. She pressed their bodies together tightly, sliding a thigh between Quinn's legs.

Quinn could feel the heat coming from everywhere her girlfriend's body touched hers. She thought about teasing her about her obvious arousal but couldn't get a word in edgewise because those insistent lips would not leave hers. She ran a hand soothingly along Rachel's back, hoping to calm the fire she knew was raging within her. Rachel sank down on her thigh with a breathy moan as she buried her face in her neck.

Quinn rubbed soothing circles into the base of her spine as Rachel grinded against her. "You are not about to come like that."

Rachel slid deliciously along smooth, tensed muscle with a whimper. "I—please, I need—"

"I know what you need," Quinn told her. She brought a hand up and unsnapped the clasp of Rachel's bra. "Sit up, baby."

Rachel reluctantly pulled away, resting on the balls of her feet. She shivered when her wet sex slid along Quinn's thigh. Quinn sat up, pulling her bra away. A kiss was placed right above Rachel's heart. It pumped strongly against her lips as small hands curved around her shoulder. Her lips ghosted along Rachel's chest and kissed around her areola. She could feel a stiff nipple brush against the side of her mouth as if feeling neglected and reminding her of its presence. She smiled.

The hands on her shoulder curled into fists, taut with tension and anticipation. Quinn tensed her thigh, rubbing it against wet sex and Rachel arched against it, nearly suffocating Quinn as her chest pressed forward. "Please," she whispered faintly.

Quinn licked her lips. "Please what, baby?"

"Suck it," she whimpered.

Who was she to deny?

She flicked her tongue to run slowly across the pebbled nipple in her line of sight. It almost seemed to glisten when wet. Her left hand cupped the weight of Rachel's other breast. She watched how perfectly it fit in her hand like they were made for each other. She squeezed and Rachel groaned.

They had a very cause and effect relationship. Had had one from the very beginning.

A hand slid along the back of her neck and Quinn shivered. Her eyes cut to Rachel sharply. "That's not fair."

Rachel's eyes sparkled with darkness as she peered down at her. "I'm not the only one being unfair." She spread her knees to sink further on Quinn's thigh and tossed her head back with a luxurious moan, dark hair spilling down her back.

Quinn smirked at the show being put on. She decided to quit playing and quickly took Rachel into her mouth, pinching one nipple as her thumb and forefinger closed in on the other one.

Fingers slid into her hair and held her there. "Yes, baby," Rachel moaned.

Encouraged, Quinn lapped at the nipple with her tongue while sucking it, rubbing the other and tugging intermittently.

Rachel's breathy moans quickly changed to panted whimpers as increasing jolts travelled from her nipples to between her thighs. She tugged Quinn's hair. "Quinn, please, I can't wait."

Quinn eased up, kissing her nipple softly. Her hand grabbed for Rachel's shoulder, switching their positions and pushing her back until she lied against the bed. She kissed her softly on the lips. "I made a promise to myself the first time we did this. Kind of like my own itinerary, I guess."

"What was your promise?" Rachel asked.

Quinn blushed a little, ducking her head shyly. Rachel smiled at her bashfulness. "I promised I would strip you naked and kiss your whole body, so, while I know you're dying here, allow me that?"

Rachel shook her head adamantly. "I need you now," she whined.

Quinn sighed loudly as if put out, but her smile belied any amount of protest. She kissed Rachel one more time, then kissed a trail down her neck, chest and stomach until she reached lavender panties. The scent of her girlfriend hit her hard and knocked her head back, a rumbling moan escaping her. She pulled them off quickly, leaning down to get eye level with glistening wet sex.

Rachel's thighs trembled in arousal and nervousness as they slowly gravitated towards each other. Quinn's frowned in confusion as she looked up at Rachel. "What's wrong?"

"No one's ever…"

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, I—" she bit her lip anxiously. "Will you like it?"

Quinn stared down at the neatly trimmed patch of dark hair between her girlfriend's legs. "I'll like it," she rasped out.

Rachel's hand twitched at her side, having the urge to bury in Quinn's hair. "How do you know if you'll like it?"

"Did _you_ like it?"

Rachel nodded, licking her lips. She could still taste her.

Quinn leaned down to place a wet kiss against her thigh. "I'll like it," she purred, running her tongue up along her trembling legs. She placed both hands on her thighs, kneading the muscles softly. "If you don't want this, just tell me."

Her legs slowly slipped open, falling bonelessly against the mattress. "I _do_ want this."

"You're nervous," Quinn said quietly. "I know and I get that. Just know that I'll like it."

"What if I don't taste good?"

"I've tasted you before." Quinn smiled roguishly. "The first time we had sex, remember?"

Rachel's eyes widened at the memory of tasting herself when Quinn kissed her after the first time they had sex. A blush danced along her face as she cradled the back of Quinn's head. "Please continue."

"That's what I thought," she purred. She leaned forward, nuzzling softly into Rachel's pussy before running her tongue through the length of her.

"I—shit," Rachel sighed, head tipping back. "I—baby, that's—wow…"

"This is wow," Quinn agreed, sucking on one of her lips. "This is very wow." She curled her tongue back into her mouth and swallowed, moaning quietly at the taste on her tongue. Her tongue dipped down to swirl around Rachel's entrance.

"Yes," Rachel moaned, arching up and offering herself shamelessly. "Inside, please."

Quinn prodded against her entrance more to loosen her up before slipping inside. Her tongue instantly became coated with warm, sticky fluid and she moaned, the vibrations causing Rachel to constrict deliciously around her tongue.

Rachel gripped her hair tighter, hips rocking back and forth. Her thighs crossed along Quinn's back and—holy shit. She was riding Quinn's face. The thought alone caused Rachel's eyes to roll back. How many other people got to say they had done that?

Quinn slid her arms under her thighs and curled around them, pulling Rachel closer as her probing tongue drove her insane. She pulled out, taking a hardened, pink clit into her mouth and sucking firmly.

"Yes, _Quinn_!" she moaned loudly, thrusting harder. Nothing else mattered. Not Shelby and her mind games, not her fathers trying to keep her and Quinn from having sex, not even _Regionals_ was able to register while a pretty little blonde head bobbed between her legs like she was going for the gold.

Quinn uncurled her right arm from around Rachel's thighs and eased two fingers into her. She thrusted them to the same rhythm she battered Rachel's clit with her tongue, curling her fingers on every second stroke. She felt Rachel clawing at the back of her head and upped the pace. "You taste so good, baby…"

Rachel moaned as the fire that simmered low in her belly rose up and engulfed her completely. Her hips jerked without rhythm against Quinn's face as she shuddered through her climax.

"Again," Quinn told her, not one to be outdone. She pulled her fingers out and slid her tongue back in, working Rachel's clit in tight circles with her fingers as she stroked her walls firmly with her tongue.

"Baby, I can't again—" but she was already gone, skyrocketing among the stars.

Quinn pulled back completely, licking her girlfriend from her lips. She placed wet kisses to each of Rachel's thighs, trailing up to kiss where her treasure trail would never be, up to her chest, sucking softly on each nipple. Rachel shook with aftershocks as Quinn kissed higher, peppering kisses along her neck, towards her shoulder, down her left arm. She picked up the motionless limb, pressing a kiss to a rapidly beating pulse point before mimicking her ministrations on her other arm. She kissed both of her cheeks, her closed eyes, her forehead and finally, her lips. Rachel seemed to come alive as she licked her own taste off of Quinn's lips, wrapping her arms weakly around her neck. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"Love you, too." Quinn kissed her once more before rolling over onto her back and pulling Rachel closer.

"How was it?" Rachel murmured sleepily, eyes drifting shut as she rested against Quinn's collarbone.

"It was amazing. Thank you for all of this." Quinn smiled. "It was the best first time anyone could ever have."

Rachel hummed happily, the gentle rise and fall of Quinn's chest lulling her to sleep. "I'm sleeping for an hour and then we're going again," she muttered groggily.

Quinn chuckled. "Okay, baby." She looked over at the clock on her nightstand. It was nine p.m. They had the whole night left to do with what they wanted, which was obviously each other. She reached towards the side of the bed, pulling her comforter up to throw across the two of them. Her arms wrapped tightly around Rachel's waist as she stared up at the ceiling, content to replay what had transpired between them until she would fall asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**NC-17

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N 1:**I think the end is near. Any time I manage to figure out how to end a story I'm working on usually means the ending is pretty close. For this fic though, a close ending could mean anywhere between 5 and 10 more chapters. Just giving a little heads up. And thank you to everyone that continues to review. It's always interesting to read your thoughts.

**A/N 2: **I haven't had the chance to proofread this chapter, so let's all pretend that any and all glaring SPAG errors aren't there. :)

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><p>"Baby, come back to bed," Rachel was murmuring already as Quinn stuck a leg out from under the covers and onto her carpeted floors.<p>

Quinn turned around with a smile. It wasn't teasing, it wasn't even seductive. Just a genuine smile taking up her entire face and as the sun filtered through the floral curtains adorning the window to illuminate her skin, Rachel could honestly say she looked like an angel.

Then Quinn's genuine smile turned into a genuine laugh that breathed happiness into the room and Rachel wondered how many times she was going to fall deeper in love with her. Quinn stretched, her lithe form elongating, her fingers stretching towards the ceiling. She was completely nude, confident, her long limbs cracking, muscles stretching, blonde hair mussed, framing her face down to her neck. Rachel watched, enraptured. Her eyes trailed down to the hickey purpling just where Quinn's ass and hip met and Rachel blushed, remembering how they had contorted on the bed last night when she was placing that particular hickey on her skin. Quinn was so damn flexible.

By the time she had come back to her senses, a very pretty trimmed patch of blonde hair was staring her in the face. Her gaze lingered, remembering how acquainted she became with _that_ last night before she looked back up at Quinn. "Good morning?"

"Afternoon," Quinn hummed softly. She sat on the edge of the bed, combing fingers through Rachel's hair as she spoke. "I was thinking about making you something to eat. But…we don't have anything you'd eat here. And there aren't many vegan places in Lima to begin with—none of the ones we _do_ have even deliver." She frowned a little, chewing on her lower lip. "You'll have to go home soon, I guess."

Rachel pouted. "I don't _have_ to."

"You have to eat something." Rachel gave her a look and Quinn flushed. "_Other _than that."

Rachel reached up to grab the hand in her hair, bringing it to her lips and kissing her palm. "I don't want to go home, baby."

"I don't want you to either."

They sat there for a while, thoughts alternating between the night they shared together and how lonely they would both be when Rachel eventually left. "I can come back," she offered.

Quinn intertwined their fingers, staring at them. "Really?"

"I can stay there for a few hours, come back and spend the day here. Though, I suppose I can't spend the night again without dad getting suspicious. I'm surprised he didn't call my phone last night and demand to speak to either Brittany or Santana." She sent a silent thank you to Leroy, knowing he was the only reason Hiram didn't blow her phone up last night.

"If you really think you can make it back here." She leaned down and kissed Rachel softly. Rachel wrapped her arms around her neck, crushing Quinn to her body.

"Did you really enjoy last night?" Rachel asked.

Quinn nuzzled against the side of her face, her warm breath ghosting along her skin causing Rachel to shiver. "Last night was the best night of my life," she said quietly.

Rachel hummed happily, running her hand up and down Quinn's back. "I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I had been planning like crazy."

Quinn chuckled, kissing a trail down Rachel's jaw and burrowing into her neck. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Think we can get one more round in?" she asked cheekily.

Quinn grinned down at her, pulling back enough to rip the covers away. Rachel lay beneath them, fully naked. So much smooth, tan skin littered with small red markings everywhere. "I'd say we may be able to. Depends on how hungry you are."

"I'm hungry," Rachel purred, gliding her tongue along her lower lip. "I'm very hungry."

"You're such a freak," Quinn told her with a salacious grin.

* * *

><p>Rachel slung her duffel bag onto her shoulder as she stepped out of her car, locking it and walking towards the door. It was two in the afternoon and she was famished, sore, and the most fulfilled she had ever been in her life. She jingled her keys around, searching for the house key as the door was unlocked and opened for her. Hiram stood on the other side of the screen door, staring hard at her. "How was your night?" he asked as he opened the screen door.<p>

Rachel walked inside, kissing him on the cheek. "It was fun, dad."

"And Santana and Brittany were there?"

"Mhm," she hummed, walking down the hallway and taking to the stairs.

"I was going to call you last night, but your father insisted on bonding time," he called from the bottom of the stairs.

Rachel reached the top of the stairs and turned around with a wide smile. "That's lovely, dad. Where is daddy?"

"Grocery store. So, what did you guys do?"

"Watched movies, talked, you know, girl stuff," she said, voice never cracking. A part of her was a little unnerved about how much of a good liar she could be. She reasoned she must have gotten it from Shelby. Before Hiram could say anything more, she quickly walked towards her room, shutting the door behind her. She dumped her bag in the corner of her room, promising herself to put her belongings away later after she had had the chance to eat and possibly take a nap.

And a shower.

She was sore everywhere, her muscles groaning with exertion yet warm at the same time. She stared up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath and preparing to go back downstairs again to make a snack. Or probably a full blown, seven course meal—meat free—with the way her stomach was growling. Her phone buzzed and she groped along her bed for the device, flipping it open to read the text from Finn.

_**Have you finished the setlist yet?**_

She sat up quickly, typing back a reply.

_**I completed the setlist about four days ago. I can bring it to glee Monday and go over with you if you wish.**_

The reply came about a minute later and she scoffed at the lack of enthusiasm.

_**Sounds cool**_

The mention of Regionals caused butterflies to let loose in her stomach with nerves, but she held on to the sense of calm and domesticity she had been feeling for the past day or so with Quinn. Their relationship now felt so new and different than it had when they first began dating last year. It felt mature and had an undertone of permanence that the last one lacked.

She hopped off the bed, deciding to deal with the real world on Monday and settle the rumbling in her stomach. She headed down the stairs, walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. "Daddy, I didn't know you were here," she greeted once she walked in.

Leroy turned around with a smile. "Hey, sweetheart. I trust your…sleepover went well? And please, spare me any gruesome details."

Rachel couldn't help but giggle and blush in embarrassment. She looked around to make sure Hiram was gone. "It was...nice," she said, trying her best to _not_ make it sound like she and Quinn had spent the entire night boning.

"And Quinn was respectful?" he asked sternly.

"You know she was, daddy."

"Good." He turned back around to the bag of groceries he was putting in the cabinets. "I'm glad to see you're back home early."

"Oh, I'm just here to eat," she said as she walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing a jar of hummus and sitting it on the counter. "Then I'm going back over there to spend the day with her."

Leroy dropped everything and made a beeline for the door, covering his ears. "I don't need to always know when you plan to have sex!"

"Daddy, don't say it so loudly!" she whined as he walked away.

* * *

><p>Quinn opened her door and leaned against it as Rachel looked up at her from outside. They stared at each other for a few moments, both wondering for different reasons how they got so lucky. "I'm glad you were able to come back over," Quinn was finally able to murmur.<p>

Rachel blushed instantly. Quinn had a very particular tone of voice she would unconsciously use when it was just the two of them that sounded so warm and intimate. "So am I." She stepped up into Quinn's personal space, burying her face into her chest and inhaling the scent of vanilla. Quinn wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled them both inside, shutting the door. She leaned back against it, wedging two hands between them to grab the lapels of Rachel's coat to slide it off. A quiet chuckle was breathed into the air as she struggled to remove the coat when Rachel refused to step away from her.

When it was off, she tossed it toward the coat rack. Whether or not it made it there was anyone's guess as Quinn leaned down to kiss the top of Rachel's head.

She didn't have any plans. She didn't take out a set of DVDs or an array of brightly colored nail polish—though sex was certainly an idea, aside from that Quinn didn't really have a plan on how to spend the evening with Rachel. And as Rachel amused herself by drawing patterns on her shirt, she guessed she didn't need one.

"Do you miss being a Cheerio?" Rachel asked, voice muffled by the '2009-2010 William McKinley High Cheerios' t-shirt she had her face pressed against.

"Not really," Quinn said immediately. Then amended, "I mean, it provided popularity and a whole lot of false friends which use to mean a lot to me for some psychotic reason, but doesn't now. And a means of exercise since I wasn't doing gymnastics anymore, so—"

"You were a gymnast?" Rachel asked, pulling back to look at Quinn with wide, impressed eyes. "When? And for how long?" Then, she blushed, murmuring, "That would explain why you're so flexible."

Quinn winced, mentally berating herself for letting that slip. "Umm, yeah. I was a gymnast in middle school," she said as vaguely as possible.

"Wow," Rachel breathed. "You must have been so fit back then. Not that you aren't now, or anything, because you are. It's just," she flushed deeper in embarrassment. "I'll stop now."

She almost laughed and cried at how off base Rachel was. "Mhm." She pulled back, slipping off the door and around Rachel to walk down the hallway. "Are we going to stand by the door all day?" she tossed over her shoulder with a sly smile.

Rachel followed silently, focused on the curves and sway of hypnotizing hips in front of her. They continued down the hallway and she couldn't help her wandering gaze from looking towards endless walls of countless pictures. Quinn led them to the living room and Rachel spotted a set of stairs that led to a lower level of the house before she caught up.

Quinn turned around and grabbed the front of her sweater instantly to crush their lips together. Rachel felt her lips curve into a smile and mimicked the action before pulling back, biting her lip.

"What would you like to do?" Quinn whispered against her lips.

Rachel breathed out a laugh. "Besides the obvious?" She rubbed her lips together in thought. "Can I have a tour?"

Hazel eyes widened the barest hint in surprise. Her lips pressed together tightly as she actually considered the request. "Okay," she finally said, drawing the word out in uncertainty.

"Great!" Rachel chirped, not giving Quinn a chance to take back her assent. She spun on her heel, clasping her hands together in front of her as she tried to figure out where to begin.

Quinn brushed past her in an obvious invitation to follow as she started for the stairs. "We'll work our way down."

They walked down the hallway, bypassing pictures that Rachel had been in too much of a frenzy to notice yesterday towards Quinn's room. "This is me," she pointed out with a shrug. "But you already know that."

Rachel nodded, her gaze lingering on the room she had become intimately acquainted with. Quinn moved around her, pointing towards another room. "This was my sister's."

"Frannie?" Rachel guessed, remembering the foreign name from when Judy had said it the day before.

Quinn nodded tightly. "Her room." She didn't say anything more before retreating and walking back down the hallway.

"How old is she?"

"Twenty-something," Quinn replied flippantly.

Rachel licked her lips nervously, deciding not to pry any more than that. She looked towards the walls as they continued down the hallway and stopped at a picture of Quinn in a frilly dress, dirty blonde hair darker than the hair she had now and a taller girl that looked just like her beside her. Rachel smiled at the giant grin on Quinn's face.

"What are you looking at?" Quinn asked when she turned around and noticed Rachel wasn't behind her. She walked back over to where her girlfriend seemed to have her face glued to a photo.

"You were absolutely adorable, Quinn," Rachel told her, pointing towards the photo.

Quinn grimaced with a small blush, but didn't say anything.

"How old were you?"

She looked up at the picture. "About five."

Rachel pointed to the girl beside her. "Your sister, correct?"

Quinn nodded.

"You looked just like each other. Do you still look like her?"

She actually took the time to ponder the question before she answered, "Just around the eyes."

Rachel turned away from the photo and smiled up at Quinn, grateful to see these little candid moments of her and her family. "She must be beautiful, too, then," she concluded.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "She's…_alright_."

Rachel giggled and wrapped her arm around Quinn's as Quinn led them further down the hallway. "My par—mom's room."

Quinn seemed to somber at her own words and Rachel didn't say anything. Just gave Quinn's arm a reassuring squeeze and gently pulled her along.

They walked down the stairs. "Living room, dining room, kitchen," Quinn pointed out each space before they reached the bottom of the stairs. They turned to take the stairs that led down. "This was my father's recreational area," she said. "There's a pool table, a flat screen he used to watch sports on, the wine cellar is that way," she hooked a thumb over her shoulder to point to. "Santana, Brittany, and I would sometimes break into it during sleepovers."

Rachel frowned at that little anecdote. "Quinn." Her very name carried reprimand.

Quinn laughed. "Don't act like you've never drank before."

She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "It was _one_ time."

"It was several times over the course of a few days. Some might call that binge drinking," she teased.

Rachel ignored the comment that was obviously meant to get a rise out of her. She glanced around the den, noting the expensive furniture and household recreational appliances before her eyes landed on the shiniest grand piano she had ever seen. "Quinn, whose is this?" she asked excitedly as she walked over to it. She reached out, gingerly tracing the keys with inexpert fingers.

"Mine," Quinn said a little hesitantly from behind her.

She whipped back around to face Quinn. "_Yours_?" she asked with wide disbelieving eyes. "_You_ play the piano?"

Her eyebrows drew together in a small frown at Rachel's tone. "Yes, I can play."

Rachel just _swooned_. Her girlfriend, _her_ girlfriend played the piano. She looked back down to her fingers tracing the keys and pressed experimentally down on one. "Why am I not surprised?" she mumbled, remembering last year when she saw Quinn toying with the piano in the auditorium where she had originally intended to meet with her to co-write the song Rachel ended up writing herself in a fit of anger and overwhelming sadness. The song that had been about her and Quinn. The song that she had ended up more or less singing to Finn. She cleared her throat, determined not to relive those moments because they were irrelevant.

Quinn took a step closer. "Excuse me?"

Rachel stood up straight, closing the distance between herself and Quinn and grabbed her hand. "Play me something," she implored eagerly as she pulled Quinn towards the piano.

"Rachel, I don't know. I haven't played in a while."

The proudly standing, shiny as if regularly polished, piano begged to differ but Rachel didn't bother voicing her train of thought. "Please," she said instead.

Quinn slumped down on the piano bench, staring at it almost petulantly. "I don't know what to play."

Rachel smoothed down the back of her skirt and sat beside Quinn on the piano. Their elbows brushed as Rachel told her, "Anything."

Quinn took a deep breath, rolling her eyes and counting off a beat in her head before her fingers began to move. Rachel watched, enraptured as long, pale fingers stroked the keys. Her fingers moved with purpose, smooth, fluid movement that created a melody that bounced off the walls and into Rachel's ears. "I know this song," she murmured around a smile. "_Diary_. Alicia Keys."

Quinn smiled, but didn't say anything. Rachel continued to watch. Quinn was so…_dexterous_. Rachel felt her stomach coil hotly as she watched those fingers continue to create song. Quinn's fingers, already so precious and important and _vital_ to her could create one of the things she loved with her entire being. _Music_.

"You're very good at this," she said hoarsely. She cleared her throat. "How often do you play?"

"I used to play more when I was younger. My father," she scoffed quietly, "he wanted a son that played sports and to be the best. And I…I was a _girl_ that wore dresses, but that didn't matter to him. He just had to change his plans a little." Rachel's gaze darted from her lips to those fingers stroking the piano keys, stroking the soft sounds from it like she had done with Rachel the night before. The thought made her flush. She alternated between trying to cool the fire in her belly and listening to Quinn.

"I liked the piano, but not enough, I guess," she continued with a small frown. "He wanted to me to be the best concert pianist in the world, which—I don't know. It's stupid, you know?"

Rachel looked up sharply. "Why would that be stupid? I'm only now seeing you play and even I can recognize how much talent you have."

Quinn shrugged, not missing a single note as she continued to play. _Diary _had somehow morphed into _Strawberry __Swing _by Coldplay so effortlessly that Rachel hadn't even noticed. "I like this song," Rachel told her.

Quinn smiled. "I only have a few songs I've memorized so they're a little…random."

"Why is the notion of you being the best concert pianist stupid?" Rachel asked, not allowing Quinn to change the subject.

"Because I'm not that good." Rachel shot her a dubious look that Quinn caught from the corner of her eye. "Okay, so I'm _good_. But I think it takes a certain level of ambition and motivation to be the best at something. Kind of like what you have."

Rachel grinned shyly. "Thank you."

"I don't have that. And maybe it's partly because I wanted to—I—" she stopped short, taking a deep breath. Her fingers hovered over the keys in indecision. "When I got to middle school I asked my father if I could stop playing and competing." When she managed to get her sentence out the way she wanted to, she picked up the beat again, starting where she left off.

"Why?" Rachel asked, peering down at her fingers again.

"I didn't want to play anymore."

The practiced way her fingers eagerly glided over white and black keys belied her comment. Rachel bit her lip. "You look like you like it."

"I do," she allowed. "Now. Back then, I just—it just didn't fit with that time."

The beginnings of _My__ Heart__ Will__ Go __On_ began to play and Rachel gasped loudly, clutching Quinn's arm. Her right hand fumbled, her middle finger striking a key it wasn't supposed to and she looked at Rachel sharply.

Rachel smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I just like this song."

Quinn almost smiled. "Then _sing_ it and stop making me mess up."

"Okay, okay." She sat up straighter in her seat. "Start over though."

And like magic, they were back at the beginning of the song. Butterflies spread throughout Rachel's stomach because Quinn was playing for her and she was about to _sing_.

"_Every__ night __in__ my__ dreams,__ I__ see __you, __I __feel __you. __That __is __how __I__ know __you __go __on_…" Quinn's face practically split with a grin as Rachel began singing. She had always loved her voice.

"_Far__ across __the __distance __and __spaces__ between __us, __you __have __come __to __show __you __go __on_…" Rachel's heart beat erratically inside of her chest. Her voice very nearly shook as the weight of this situation sat heavily on her chest. They were making music. In a way that didn't allude to sexual innuendo, but as she shifted in her seat and clenched her thighs together—it soon _was_ going to allude to sexual innuendo. The two things that turned her on more than anything, Quinn and music, Quinn and _singing_, were becoming so wrapped up in one another that it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began.

"_We__'__ll__ stay __forever __this __way. __You __are __safe __in __my__ heart __and __my __heart __will __go __on__ and __on_…" She finished powerfully and Quinn brought them home, her fingers stroking confidently, softly over the keys until the song softened out and slowly stopped altogether.

Quinn clenched her hands together and sat them in her lap as Rachel tried to calm her now shallow breathing. But she couldn't because now all she could think about were those long fingers playing over her as she sang her own special song for Quinn.

Quinn cleared her throat and slowly stood from the bench. "What would you like to do no—"

"Quinn, take me to bed," Rachel breathed as she stood up as well.

* * *

><p>All Rachel could think as she sat on Quinn's spread thighs was that she was making better noises than that piano ever could. She curled her fingers around pale shoulders and <em>swung<em> her hips into Quinn's fingers at an alarming rate because she had been close fifteen minutes ago when they were at that piano and she was even closer now.

Quinn's dark, hungry gaze slid down Rachel's body to where Rachel was straddling her bare thighs, on her lap, knees digging into the mattress to give her more leverage to thrust her hips as hard as she wanted to. Her fingers curled inside of Rachel, stroking her walls the way she had stroked those piano keys. Stroking her walls as if beckoning Rachel closer, telling her to come. Rachel slumped forward, burying her face into her neck. "I couldn't help it," Rachel moaned, licking from the base of her throat to her ear.

Quinn moaned, canting her head to the side to give her more access. "Couldn't help what?" she asked lowly, already knowing the answer.

Rachel grinded circles into the palm of her hand and Quinn groaned as slick warmth slid down her fingers. "I got so wet watching you play the piano," Rachel whispered.

Her fingers slid in and out, slicker than they were mere seconds ago. The heel of her palm brushed a hardened clit and Rachel keened, back arching as a harsh breath hissed out of her. "You know what music does to me."

Quinn chuckled quietly. She had never known anyone aside from Rachel Berry to get off to music in such a grand way. She kissed along Rachel's throat, down her chest and took a stiff nipple into her mouth. Rachel whimpered at the feel of a slippery tongue battering her nipple. She slid her hand along the back of Quinn's neck to hold her there. "I'm close," she whined.

Quinn bit her nipple softly, mouthing around it, "You're clos_er_. You were close ten minutes ago."

"I'm close every time you look at me," Rachel breathed.

Her nipple was released, a tongue swirling around it and making her groan before Quinn pulled back completely. She stilled her fingers inside of Rachel, reaching deeply and curling to continuously rub something inside of Rachel that made her eyes roll back. Quinn grinded the heel of her palm into her clit repeatedly. "Look at me," she whispered.

Rachel had a hard time getting her eyes to open. She dropped her head forward, peeling back her heavy lids to find Quinn's eyes shining brightly and staring unwaveringly into her own. It was so cliché and cheesy but Rachel could swear Quinn was touching her soul at this point. And then it _hit__ her_ and had her scrambling for Quinn's shoulders, to find something to anchor to. "I'm _coming_," she choked out.

Quinn wrapped an arm around her as Rachel bowed backwards, back arching so much it almost hurt. Her hair spilled wildly down her back and Quinn swore to herself in that moment that she was going to get mirrors put all around her room just to see Rachel come like this from every angle possible.

She spasmed and caved in on herself until her face was buried in Quinn's chest, panting against a pink nipple as Quinn rubbed every ounce of her orgasm out of her. "If I could make love to you every day for the rest of my life, I'd die happy," Rachel said quietly. She took Quinn's nipple into her mouth and relished in the quiet sigh that escaped from above her as her fingers sank into wet heat.

"Hold on," Quinn told her gently, knowing she wasn't going to be able to come from this angle. They were completely different. It seemed that Rachel could come anywhere at any time but as Quinn leaned back against the pillows and Rachel hovered over her just off to the side, she realized that Quinn was a harder nut to crack, so to speak.

But she was always able to work her up fairly quickly and easily. Now wasn't any different. With a little coaching, she had Quinn flushed and breathless with knitted eyebrows and tensed muscles in no time. Rachel watched in awe as Quinn's hips undulated against her hand. She was so slick and tight but Rachel had a feeling…

She pulled out until the tips of her fingers were the only thing warm inner walls could clench around. Quinn's eyes opened instantly. She looked at Rachel, then at the hand between her legs, then at three fingers and—

"_Yes_," was all she could moan at the sight of Rachel's index, middle, and ring finger huddled together as if conspiring on how to bring her the most pleasure.

Rachel leaned down and brushed their lips together. "Baby, are you sure?" she asked sweetly.

She nodded, and Rachel watched with a whimper as pale thighs parted even further for her.

She slid inside and Quinn threw her head back with a moan as she felt herself stretch around those fingers moving inside of her. Rachel bit her lip, feeling arousal flare in her at the tighter fit as inner walls squeezed around her. Then she brushed Quinn's clit on every stroke until finally her head tossed back with a sharp cry. She trembled and Rachel watched reverently as Quinn came undone, hot, sticky fluid coating her fingers.

When Quinn opened her eyes, she saw Rachel licking her fingers clean and moaned softly. Rachel smiled shyly. She extended her middle finger, touching it nervously to Quinn's lips. Quinn looked directly at her as she opened her mouth, wrapping her lips around Rachel's finger and sucking it clean.

"Taste good?" Rachel murmured, voice trembling as she retracted her hand.

Quinn nodded. "You taste better."

Rachel smiled. "I've tasted myself before and I can objectively say that you taste better."

Quinn scoffed, stretching in post coital bliss and angling her head towards the clock on her nightstand. Her eyebrows rose a little in surprise at the time before her head lolled back over to look at the window, then finally landing on Rachel.

Rachel sat up. "Quinn, don't."

She sighed quietly and sat up as well. "Rachel, it's not like I want you to go home." She reached out, running her hands through a lock of dark hair down to Rachel's erect nipple. She circled it slowly and Rachel shivered. "But you have to eventually."

"It's not completely dark outside yet," Rachel said, not even bothering to look towards the window over her shoulder.

"But it _will_ be soon and there's no way I'm allowing you to drive home when it's pitch black."

"But I want…" Rachel trailed off with pout, rising on her knees to close the distance between her and Quinn. She peppered kisses down her cheek and jaw, burying herself into her neck. "I wanted to cuddle," she mumbled, flushing brightly.

"Rachel—"

"When is the next time we're going to get to be like this?" Rachel asked rhetorically. She slid her weight along Quinn until they were both sinking back into the sheets. "Your mother comes back tomorrow," she continued, intertwining their legs and laying against Quinn's collarbone. "We'll have to sneak around for the remaining months of school. We'll probably only have time for quickies with no cuddling time at the end."

"I get it," Quinn grumbled. She slid one arm under Rachel and rubbed her back, using the other to trace patterns along her shoulder. "Half an hour," she concluded.

Rachel smiled in victory. She snuggled further into Quinn's arms, staring down the length of her body. She was kind of magnificent, if Rachel were to say so herself. "Can I ask you a question?"

Quinn groaned. "It's time for you to go." She made a show of sitting up and Rachel instantly clamped a hand down on her shoulder.

"Quinn, don't be mean!"

"What's your question?" she sighed, slumping back down.

She turned her head and rested her chin in the middle of Quinn's chest. "When did you first realize you liked me?"

Her eyebrows instantly drew together. "We've talked about this before."

She shook her head, her chin digging into Quinn's sternum in a way that made her squirm. "No, I remember the conversation you're talking about. And during said conversation, you said you liked me _then_—around the time the whole nose job debacle happened." Rachel pressed a kiss against her heart. "You never said anything about liking me before," she mumbled.

Quinn looked up to the ceiling with a sigh. Her hands absentmindedly ran up and down Rachel's bare back as she teetered on whether or not she was going to entertain this conversation. "I don't know."

"Baby, there's no reason for you to be shy," Rachel murmured. She swung a leg over Quinn's hips and sat up a little to face her. "I can go first if you want."

Quinn dragged her tongue over her bottom lip as her gaze dipped down to where Rachel was straddling her. Her hands fell from her back to her hips, squeezing gently. "Okay."

"Sophomore year," Rachel told her without hesitation. "Though, admittedly, there was one time freshman year when—" she blushed and Quinn quirked an eyebrow in interest. Rachel rose more, resting her hands on either side of Quinn's head as she peered down at her. Her gaze skirted away as she recalled the memory. "The Cheerios were doing a routine in the hallway and you spun around and your skirt just _lifted_ and I saw…"

Quinn grinned up at her. "That got you hot, Berry?"

Rachel nodded, biting her lip. "But then I—when you got pregnant—when I found out, I didn't really know how to feel."

The grin on her face slowly slipped away as she listened to Rachel talk. "I was…upset," Rachel concluded with a furrowed brow. "And I didn't know—or, I guess I _did_ know but I didn't want it to be because of…that."

"Because of what?" Quinn whispered cautiously.

Rachel's hands fisted nervously into the bed sheets she was staring at. "I didn't want to be upset because you had had sex with someone. I wanted to be upset because of _Finn_ possibly being the father. But I wasn't upset about that; I was upset about you and it was so confusing. And then you," she smiled, finally meeting hazel eyes, "you were radiant. You would walk around in these cute, little dresses and then you started showing and people were being mean to you and then you got slushied and I—I just—"

"It's okay," Quinn soothed, rubbing Rachel's back again to get her to slow down.

Rachel shook her head. "It wasn't okay; I just wanted to _protect_ you, Quinn. You and Beth, and I couldn't comprehend, or refused to entertain what that meant at the time."

Her hands stilled on Rachel's back, her eyes widening and softening in affection. "You wanted to protect me?" Quinn asked quietly. The concept of anyone wanting to look out for her safety and well-being felt so foreign and it was always Rachel Berry that said things like that that made her heart hurt with all of the feelings that were swelling inside of it. She sat up and grabbed Rachel around the waist, burying a hand into her hair and crushing their bodies together in a hug. "Baby, I—you are so amazing," she murmured.

"I wasn't that amazing," Rachel grumbled. "I screwed everything up for you by telling Finn he wasn't the father because I was mad at myself and so _scared_ of having feelings for you because—"

"Because I treated you like shit and you didn't want to be in love with the girl that bullied you," Quinn said heavily. She tightened her hold around Rachel. "I get it and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No, this—" Rachel sighed against her shoulder. "This isn't about me trying to make you feel guilty, baby. I just went off on this crazy tangent. But back on subject: tell me when you first knew."

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"I...I just thought it would be fun. We've been having a good weekend and getting to know each other in a way we never did the first time we did _this_," she emphasized, gesturing between them. "But maybe it's stupid. Let's just forget about it."

Quinn bit her lip, gently raking her nails down Rachel's back. "I knew...a couple of weeks after I joined glee club," she said softly. "You just—" she chuckled. "You're really…sexual, whether you know it or not."

Rachel gasped scandalously. "Pardon? I-I am _not _in any way—are you trying to suggest that I'm _easy_?"

She laughed, squeezing Rachel around the waist. "Hear me out," she whispered in her ear. Rachel reluctantly relaxed, wrapping her arms tighter around Quinn's neck. "You're not and...I don't know," Quinn sighed at last. "You always wore—_still_ wear—these really short skirts and those damn knee socks—" she inhaled deeply. "And you did that _Push __It_ dance with _my_ boyfriend and there was dancing and gyrating—did you even notice that I joined glee club _right _after you practically rode his crotch for the world to see?"

Rachel shifted, pulling back to search hazel eyes. "I thought you joined the club to keep an eye on Finn."

Quinn smiled enigmatically. "Sure. Finn," she replied noncommittally. "Anyway, I just…noticed those things about you."

Rachel smiled a little at the confession.

"Then you kept…pining after Finn. And I was kind of like you—not really knowing what I was feeling, but allowing those feelings to dictate my decisions. I was kind of drawn to you." She bit her lip. "And I may have been _a_ _little_ obsessive."

Rachel snorted, "A little? You drew _pornographic _pictures of me in the bathroom. Unflattering ones, by the way."

Quinn laughed even though it wasn't really funny at all. "I just…thought about you a lot," she mumbled. "So, I fought with you over Finn and with Finn over you because I didn't want the two of you to have each other. If I didn't get to have you, I didn't want _him_ to have _you_ or for _you_ to have _him_. And then the two of you finally had each other and I kind of gave up aside from a few snide comments and trying to steal Finn back every once in a while."

"All of that was you 'giving up?'" Rachel asked in amusement.

"Shut up," Quinn grumbled. "Anyway, I liked you because…you were the only one to pay me attention, _good_ attention. Attention that I needed even though I always acted like I didn't want it. So, thank you for…not giving up, I guess." She rolled her eyes, blushing as she looked away.

Rachel mashed their bodies together in a tight hug. "I'll never give up, okay?"

Quinn smiled, burying her face into Rachel's neck with a sigh. "That's that Rachel Berry love, I guess."

"It's the best kind of love there is," Rachel told her.

Quinn never refuted.


	25. Chapter 25

**Title:**Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing:**Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating:**PG-13

**Disclaimer:**I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary:**AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

* * *

><p>Monday came so much quicker than Rachel had wanted it to. Monday meant not spending the day in bed with Quinn. Monday meant being thrown back into glee club and rapidly approaching Regionals. Monday meant having to deal with Shelby.<p>

She stood nervously outside Shelby Corcoran's classroom. She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as she stared at the closed door looking back at her. She had been so good about sticking with her convictions and no longer having contact with Shelby, but now she couldn't. Now Shelby had something that she needed and as Rachel stood outside her classroom, she knew Shelby knew that as well. She took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders back like she had seen Quinn do so many times in the past to show confidence and knocked on the door.

The faint clacking of heels could be heard before Rachel saw a shadow in the space where the door and floor didn't quite meet. "I can do this," she whispered to herself when the door opened.

Shelby stood proudly on the other side of the door, opening it and motioning for Rachel to come inside. "Hi, Rachel. It's good to see you again."

"Hi, Shelby," Rachel greeted politely. She walked inside, taking a seat in the chair in front of Shelby's desk.

Shelby walked over, sliding into the seat opposite Rachel. "I trust you've been doing well."

Rachel shifted in the chair. "I have."

Shelby eyed her critically for a long moment. "You look happy," she commented. "Under all the nervousness."

Her fidgeting stopped almost immediately. "I am," she agreed. She watched Shelby sigh heavily and stack some papers on her desk before meeting her eyes again.

"Quinn—does she-does she make you happy?"

"I don't think that's something you and I should discuss. But to put it simply: yes."

Shelby nodded curtly. She grabbed a nearby pen, grasping it tightly in her hand and leaning back in her seat. "What can I help you with?"

She tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. "Well, Quinn informed me that you were offering to write me a recommendation for NYADA if I asked and that your recommendation would hold more weight than Mr. Schuester's."

"And Emma's," Shelby said. "I just said Schuester because he's tried to do something in the past that I've already done."

She hated being reminded of all the possible ways her mother was seemingly successful and well-versed enough in Broadway and all the ways Shelby could have helped her achieve her dreams. Rachel sighed quietly at all the things they could have been. "I would like to take you up on said offer. I—" she took a deep breath, hating this very moment, "I would like for you to write me a recommendation."

Shelby blinked once, twice, her expression morphing into some semblance to almost sheepish before she said, "I can send it now if you want."

Rachel leaned forward. "You already have it typed up?"

Her gaze slid from Rachel to her computer screen. "Just in case you said you wanted it, I already wanted to have it typed up so I could send it before the deadline."

"I appreciate this, Shelby," Rachel said sincerely, still a little stunned this was all happening. "Thank you."

"Guess it's about time I do something right, huh?" she said with a small smile.

Rachel didn't respond. She wasn't really sure what an appropriate response would be.

"I never meant to…do any of this," Shelby said suddenly, gesturing with her hands. "I thought that coming back—I don't _really_ know what I thought, but I didn't think this all would happen."

Her expression was heavy with regret, looking like she was apologizing for much more than what was right in front of them. Rachel placed her hands in her lap, watching them ball up and hold each other. "Parents aren't perfect. I've learned that."

"I'm certainly not," Shelby muttered. "Rachel, I know I can't very well sit here and ask you to forgive me, but—"

"No, you can't," Rachel whispered, voice losing bravado the longer she stared down at her hands. But she couldn't look at Shelby because she knew she'd feel upset and want to lash out even though that wasn't her nature. What would probably happen more than anything else if she looked up was her possibly _forgiving_ Shelby and that was one thing she didn't want to do.

Shelby chuckled quietly. "I see Quinn has been coaching you."

"Regardless," Rachel continued in a small voice, "I don't owe you anything for this but a heartfelt thank you. And if you feel that I owe you more, then perhaps you should hold on to that recommendation." She could feel the tears coming and warred with herself to keep them hidden until she was at least out of the office. Mondays were so fucking hard.

Shelby was silent for a moment. She leaned forward in her seat and began typing on her computer. "No, you keep the recommendation. I—you don't have to forgive me. I was just thinking we could be cordial with each other. Have a few conversations here and there—"

"I don't think that's wise." Her heart broke as the words came out of her mouth because no matter how hard she tried to distinguish and think of Shelby as a teacher, Shelby was and would always be her _mother_ and the thought of having to tell her own mother that she wanted nothing to do with her was gut-wrenching.

Shelby stopped typing. "Why not?"

Rachel balled her lips up nervously, finally looking up to Shelby. "Because then I'll get my hopes up. Like I always do. The only way I can _not_ hurt with you around is if I don't have contact with you. I'm sorry, but I can't keep doing this to myself and you shouldn't want to keep doing this to me either."

"I—no, I don't," Shelby was quick to reassure. "Rachel, I—damn…" she sighed. "All I wanted was to have some kind of functioning mother/daughter relationship with you like I gave Quinn the chance to have with Beth."

"While I appreciate what you were trying to do," Rachel whispered as a tear slid down her cheek, "it didn't quite pan out that way. Quinn has an exceptional, amazing relationship with Beth and I appreciate you for giving her that chance. It means more to her than you'll ever know. But you and I—we can't be _that._ I've tried, and though I can't be sure, you've probably tried as best as you can as well. But we can't have that and frankly, Shelby, I'm tired of trying to have that." She pulled down the sleeve of the sweater she had borrowed from Quinn and dabbed at her eye. She caught a scent that was distinctly Quinn and curled her hands into fist, resting them just under her nose to drag strength from the friendly reminder of her girlfriend.

Shelby cleared her throat, exhaling a whistle. "If that's what you want, Rachel," she said quietly, then much louder and more confident, "I'll send your recommendation to NYADA tonight. Good luck."

She didn't say anything else and that felt like as much of a dismissal as anything. Rachel stood up and walked out of the room, feeling like, she reasoned, a used punching bag must feel: bruised and tired. When she made it to the bathroom, she didn't even fight the tears, grabbing her phone from her bag and fumbling through blurry eyes to dial Quinn's number.

"_Hey,__ Rachel_," she heard Quinn say as quietly as she possibly could. She must have been in class.

"Hi, baby," she hiccupped. "Could you come hold me?"

Quinn sighed in what was most probably sympathy before whispering, "_Which __bathroom,__ baby_?"

Rachel leaned back against the wall, already beginning to feel better. "First."

"_I__'__ll__ be__ there__ soon_."

True to her word, it took Quinn less than two minutes to make it to the bathroom. She slid one arm around Rachel's shoulders and one around her waist in one of those cocooning hugs that Rachel always burrowed into until she felt better. She cursed herself for being so sensitive when she felt tears roll down her face as if she had just received the worst news ever.

Quinn pressed a kiss to the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. "Did she write the recommendation?" she murmured.

Rachel nodded, curling her fingers into the front of Quinn's dress.

"Then what's the problem?" She kneaded circles into Rachel's lower back, using her other hand to massage her scalp.

She sniffled. "The problem is that I'm a fucking drama queen who cries over everything." Her voice was nasally in such a way that made Quinn's shoulders shake quietly with laughter. "Don't laugh, Quinn."

"First of all? I think it's so sexy when you curse." She leaned down to kiss a smooth, tan throat and Rachel moaned and squirmed out of her arms in halfhearted protest all at once. "Second of all, stop being so hard on yourself for crying. You had some expectations of what Shelby was going to be like and those expectations aren't reality. It's only logical that that's going to sting a little."

Rachel looked up at her. "Can you hold me the way you were before, please?"

"Were you even listening?" Quinn grumbled as she wrapped her arms around Rachel again.

"Of course I was listening," she sniffled. "And…I guess you're right. But then again, I probably shouldn't have had those expectations." Rachel tucked herself under Quinn's chin, eyes slipping shut as blunt nails raked softly across her scalp.

"Maybe," Quinn said. "But then again, you can't help but have expectations of your parents. You just have to accept that Shelby will never be who you want her to be."

"This sucks," Rachel sighed.

"Mhm," Quinn hummed back.

She tilted her head back to skim her lips across Quinn's throat. "Thank you."

Quinn rocked them back and forth gently for a few more minutes. "I love you," she said softly. Then blushed, muttering. "I Quinn Fabray love you."

Rachel grinned widely.

"And so do your fathers."

"I guess I should focus on that, then?"

"Take it from someone that's pretty good at focusing on what she _doesn__'__t_ have instead of focusing on what she does: it sucks. So, don't do it."

Rachel nodded against her collarbone, turning her face to burrow into Quinn's chest. "You smell so damn good," she whispered.

Quinn groaned quietly above her, tapping her foot against the floor in impatience that had Rachel chuckling softly. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Don't 'what' me," Quinn grumbled. "You know what."

"Who would have known you'd have this kink?" She turned her head to nuzzle Quinn's left breast, pressing her lips deeply into the yielding flesh.

Quinn ran her fingers through dark hair, murmuring, "Someone's feeling better."

"Mmm," Rachel moaned back, biting the side of Quinn's breast until the hand in her hair tightened its grip.

"Do you want to have sex in this bathroom?" Quinn asked roughly

Rachel made a face. "Not really…?"

She almost smiled at the notion of having sex in the bathroom _actually_ being an option. "Then stop teasing me."

Reluctantly, Rachel pulled back. Her dark eyes met hazel and Quinn gently swiped her thumb under her eye, more of habit than actually wiping tears away. "Feel better?"

She nodded and leaned up to kiss Quinn in thanks. Quinn rubbed her back a few more times before stepping away. "I have to get back to bio."

"I'll walk you." She rolled up her sleeve to grab Quinn's hand and walked out of the bathroom.

As soon as they stepped foot inside the hallway, Rachel felt more than saw Quinn roll her shoulders back in a show of confidence. She seemed to grow in feet just from her attitude alone. Rachel looked up at her, her grip tightening on her when Quinn didn't immediately look back at her.

But Quinn was focused. Focused on making sure there weren't any slushies coming their way, on hyper alert, making sure there were no teams full of burly boys anywhere nearby.

It was times like this that Rachel couldn't help but wonder how different their relationship could have been if one of them had been a boy. They were just so _perfect_ for one another and would have been able to function better without Quinn having to worry about the social implications—she had gotten so much better with dealing with it, but there were times like now when Rachel could tell that Quinn was uncomfortable. But to her credit, though her fingers twitched in Rachel's grip, they still held onto hers. They didn't often times hold hands in crowded hallways and Quinn was still acquainting herself with this change.

"It's okay," Rachel whispered.

"How can you be so sure?" Quinn asked as her gaze darted all around them.

Rachel took a deep breath. "Because if I were to get slushied right now, I know you'd help clean me up." She squeezed Quinn's hand with a smile, both of them recalling how Quinn had slipped into the bathroom stall Rachel had been in months ago like a knight in shining armor with a clean change of clothes. "And if you were to get slushied—which, I'm almost positive you wouldn't, because I'm sure I can quite easily persuade those puckheads to slushie me instead—but if you _did_, I would certainly clean you up."

Quinn's jaw clenched in frustration because this was _not_ how this should have been for them. They already had enough to deal with. She stopped in the hallway, eyes clenched shut briefly before they opened and zeroed in on Rachel. "If either of us were a boy—"

"I know, baby," Rachel soothed. A smile dimpled her cheeks in the way Quinn loved as she quietly said, "But I really, _really_ like the fact that you're a girl."

Quinn's lips quivered in an attempt to fight back a smile. "I like that you're a girl, too," she muttered.

"What's shakin', Quinn—and, Quinn's _girl_!" she heard a voice call behind her and swiveled around to find the hockey team leering knowingly at her as they walked down the hallway.

Quinn turned morosely back to Rachel. "It could have been worse," Rachel said immediately. "At least they didn't spout off things that you see on teen angst dramas like 'I got something that could straighten you out', o-or—"

Quinn barked out an incredulous, humorless laugh despite herself because, what the hell kind of shows did Rachel watch?

"Kurt and I have been trying to get some new school policies implemented against gay bullying. And, you know, any sexuality that falls along the spectrum. W-we don't want to discriminate, so bisexuals, pansexuals, I mean, even _asexuals_ are under our umbrella of protection and—"

"Stop talking," Quinn said with a soft smile.

Rachel frowned up at her in obvious disapproval.

Quinn licked her lips, her smile growing even wider. "I love you."

_Well_. How could anyone stay mad at that?

* * *

><p>She walked in the choir room and was immediately greeted with the sight of Rachel and Finn huddled together over a piece of paper on the front row. And there was definitely a time in the past, probably around the time she and Rachel had first began dating last year, when Quinn would have caused a scene and ended up embarrassing everyone involved. A few threats would have been spewed, a few tears would have been shed.<p>

But that was then, this was now. And _now_ she had taken Rachel's virginity, now she more or less trusted Rachel because Rachel had proven time and time again not only how trustworthy she was, but also how much she trusted Quinn. And Quinn reasoned anyone that trusted _her_ of all people was either really crazy or truly had faith in her. And if Rachel could have faith in her to not screw them up then Quinn could at least match some of that.

So, instead of causing a scene that would end in embarrassment and tears, she simply rolled her eyes—because she couldn't _not_ do something—and purposefully brushed past Rachel to walk to the second row. And just as predicted, Rachel's gaze shot up and after her, tossing a shy smile back to the second row. "Hi, Quinn."

Quinn offered a small smile as well. "Hey."

Rachel turned back around to Finn. "So, that's it. These are the songs we're performing and I suppose we should all work on polishing off our dance routines for all of them before Regionals."

Finn squinted down at the list, looking like he wanted to say something before shifting in his seat and meeting Rachel's eyes. "I heard about you and Quinn," he said quietly as Mr. Schuester began addressing the class.

Rachel blushed furiously and ducked her head, nodding as she bit her lip.

"I thought you were gonna wait."

"So did I," she said honestly. "But I—I've always said girls want sex just as much as guys—"

"So, what, she just made you horny one day and you just went for it?" he asked tersely.

Her features pinched in disgust. "Finn Hudson, I will not have this conversation with you if you insist on being so crude. Not that I owe you an explanation, but Quinn and I love each other very much and wanted to express that love. We had every right."

"Yeah, okay, well, at least you can't get her pregnant. And she can't lie about someone else being the dad or whatever…" he wasn't sure where that train of thought was going and settled for ending it there.

"That was _incredibly_ insensitive," Rachel hissed lowly, careful to keep everyone out of their business. "Quinn has been trying to improve herself as of late and she has been doing a phenomenal job; she doesn't need people like you to keep bringing up her past shortcomings…"

"Hey, Q, can I talk to you about something?"

Quinn squinted in annoyance, peeling her eyes away from Rachel and Finn's conversation to peer back at Puck on the third row. "What?"

Puck shifted to lean forward in his seat. "What if what I was about to tell you would be bad—hot, but bad?"

Her eyebrow rose inquisitively. But instead she told him, "Keep it to yourself. I don't need to hear about your latest sexcapades with those lonely cougars you clean pools for."

"It's not about them," he insisted.

"Even still, keep your sex life to yourself."

She felt a hand grab her own and turned around to see Rachel smiling at her affectionately. Rachel intertwined their fingers and they both turned towards the front of the room to halfway listen to Mr. Schuester.

* * *

><p>Quinn puffed out a breath as she closed the door to her car. A sleek black car was parked in <em>her<em> spot on the car porch as if it belonged there. She lifted her bag onto her shoulder and walked towards the door, wondering how her father managed to get a key to let himself in. She opened the unlocked door and walked inside, unsurprised to see him at the kitchen table.

"You're here," she greeted flatly.

Russell leveled her with an even gaze. "You called me here."

Quinn sighed, wondering about the lapse in judgement she had had when she had called Russell to the house. It had been this morning before school. After talking to Rachel about NYADA and NYU last Friday and spending the entire weekend with her, Quinn had spent the entirety of Sunday mulling over her future. She didn't want to rely on Russell for money but there really wasn't any other way. Even if she were to enroll in OSU, she'd still have to rely on her father to pay tuition for her and from there she had surmised there was no way in hell she was going to attend OSU if, regardless, her father was going to pay for her education no matter where she went and, thus, be in her life more than Quinn actually wanted.

She dumped her bag onto a nearby chair, sitting in another. "How'd you get in?"

"Your mother never took back the key."

"So, what, you just _willingly_ never came back for a visit?" she asked tersely.

Russell rubbed at his brow and the side of his face in a way that made Quinn hate that she shared mannerisms with the man in front of her. "I see you've changed."

"I hate that word," she spat.

Russell smiled crookedly. "Well, let's see, you've changed your hair, your clothes—still got that insufferable nose ring, though, I see. What shall I call it—a transformation?"

"Don't call it anything," she gritted out. "Just observe it, take some sick pleasure out of the fact that I'm back into these clothes—that I've once again lost to you—like I always do, and move on."

He stared at her for a moment, before sighing tiredly, "What do you want, Quinn?"

Her lips pressed together tightly at his dismissive tone of voice. "I'm ready to apply for school and I want you to pay for it."

He barked out a laugh that made her skin crawl. "So, you're just going to use me? Only call when you need me?"

"Like all the years you used me to give the illusion to others that this family was perfect?" Quinn sat back in her seat. "This family uses each other. I get that and I'm over the whole 'I don't understand why we're so fucked up; why can't we be like other families?' phase."

Russell's eyes pinched tightly in annoyance. "If I was still living here, you wouldn't have that potty mouth of yours."

She chuckled bitterly. "But you _don__'__t_ live here; mom has an empty side of the bed and a pile of bills to prove it." She leaned forward, bracing her hands on the table. "Are you going to help me or not? Or would you prefer that I go to OSU or even better, _not_ go to college at all?" Her lips curved into an evil, feral grin. "You try your hardest to pretend that mom and I don't exist, but I will _always_ have your last name and when they all look at what a failure I've become they won't be able to help but recall your face."

His jaw worked back and forth in contemplation and frustration as he regarded Quinn, trying to call her bluff. "You'd really _not_ go to college?" he couldn't help but ask.

If possible, her grin became even more twisted. "Try me." She was trying to hold on to the fact that she was doing this for her and Rachel, so that they could possibly be together in New York in the long run. But she couldn't help but take pleasure in the look of discontentment on her father's face.

"Where would you apply?" Russell asked brusquely.

"OSU," Quinn began. "And NYU."

Russell pursed his lips. "NYU is a good school."

"It is," Quinn agreed.

"Why do you want to go all the way to New York?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "Because I want to get out of here." That was as close to the truth as she was going to venture into because saying, _I __want __to __go __to __New__ York __because __I __want __to __spend __the__ rest __of __my__ life __with __my __lesbian __lover_—there was no way in hell Russell was going to pay for her education if he knew that.

Russell crossed his arms across his chest. "What will you major in?"

She hesitated for a long moment, suddenly feeling foolish under her father's scrutiny. "Studio art," she finally muttered.

He huffed once, then erupted into belly shaking laughter. Quinn's eyes closed tightly as a quiet exhale of annoyance was breathed through her mouth.

"_Art_?" Russell asked with incredulity lacing his voice. "You're going to major in _art_? Well, Q, if you're going to major in something artsy like a thirteen year old girl, then at least put some of that piano playing to work and take up some classes on that. Surely being a—I don't know—piano teacher?" he roared with laughter again. "Maybe being a piano teacher would make you a lot more money than selling your art—do you even realize how many failed artists live in boxes on the side of the road?"

Quinn didn't respond, glaring holes into the table.

"Lots," Russell answered anyway. He wiped a few amused tears from his eyes before clearing his throat. "You're going to major in music. You can major in…studio art," he snickered, "if you want, but you're also majoring in music. You're playing that damn piano, Quinn."

"Whatever."

"And you're applying to Yale as well."

Quinn's gaze snapped up to meet his. "I can't get into that school now."

Russell leveled her with a hard, serious look. "I got that suspension lifted from your record; you're going to put that nearly spotless record to use."

"I can't believe this," she muttered to herself. "Is there anything, _anything_ at all that you're capable of doing for someone else's benefit other than your own? Are you really that selfish?" she yelled.

"Lower your voice," he gritted out. "You loved Yale your freshman year; why are you complaining now?"

"Because I want to go to NYU," she gritted out.

"And maybe you will. Judy's told me about your horrible grades at the beginning of the school year. You've done a complete one-eighty from that, but maybe that isn't enough to get in. And if it's not, _then_ you can go to your precious NYU." He sat back in his seat, looking smug and victorious.

Quinn slumped back against her own seat.

Even when she won against Russell Fabray, she still lost.

* * *

><p>She knocked heavily three times on Shelby's door and waited. It had only been less than a week since she had last seen Beth, but she was already aching to see her again. Her visits were beginning to get closer and closer together the closer she and Beth became and Quinn relished every moment of it. She was trying to get as much time in with Beth as she could because if she really was going all the way to the east coast after graduation, then visits would be slim at best.<p>

The door opened and Shelby practically glared holes through her as she stood at the threshold, blocking Quinn's entry.

"What are you doing here?" Shelby asked evenly, arms folding tightly across her chest.

Quinn rocked back on her heels, feeling hostility coming off her in waves and not really understanding why. "I'm here to see my daughter. How many times are we going to do this?"

"Why should I even let you in here? You get to have this wonderful relationship with Beth while you help deteriorate my own relationship with Rachel."

"No," Quinn cut in sharply. "You aren't about to blame me for your own mistakes and decisions. If anything, I gave Rachel the confidence she needed to stop crying herself to sleep at night because of what a failure you are."

Shelby's face contorted into a multitude of expressions before disgust and annoyance pulled her lips down into the deepest sneer Quinn had ever seen. "Get out," she spat.

The door was slammed in her face and Quinn stood on the porch, trying to control her ire. But she couldn't and before she knew it, she was pounding harshly on Shelby's door. "Let me in!" she snarled loudly, banging the sides of her fists onto the wooden door. "Let me in, Shelby—I am _not _fucking around!"

Her fists began to hurt but she continued to pound on the one obstacle that kept her from seeing her own daughter. "I have a right to see her!"

She must have looked crazy as hell, and wondered for a brief second if this really _was_ what temporary insanity felt like. She was so close, so close to her daughter and she couldn't get through to her. Her chest heaved desperately to take in breaths because it felt like her heart had stopped working altogether. "Open this fucking door, Shelby!"

She pounded hard once more then slumped exhaustedly against the door. She quieted her own breathing as the almost muted sound of her own daughter crying reached her ears. Grief washed over her completely and all the fight she had in her washed out. "Baby," she whispered, pain choking her vocal cords. "Beth, baby, I'm so sorry." She rubbed the cooled wood softly as if she were stroking Beth's cheek. "I'm so sorry, baby. Stop crying, okay? I'm sorry."

She could hear footsteps nearing the door that were too heavy to belong to her daughter. The door creaked and Quinn backed up enough to allow it to open. Shelby stood at the threshold and Quinn looked up to her face, devoid of emotion.

"Quinn!"

Her gaze dipped down to find Beth trying her best to run to her. She ended up teetering and it took her some time but eventually, she was able to brush past Shelby and out the door. She looked apprehensive and a little unsure. Quinn stood still as Beth neared her with the same pensive features. "I'm sorry for scaring you," Quinn said quietly.

Beth walked closer, hesitantly wrapping short arms around Quinn's neck.

"I'm sorry, baby," Quinn whispered into curly blonde hair. She pulled back enough to wipe tears off Beth's long eyelashes. "Hi," she murmured with a watery smile.

Beth buried herself into Quinn's chest, cooing softly. Quinn inhaled a deep breath, rubbing the back of Beth's head in an attempt to calm them both down. When she looked back up Shelby had tears in her eyes, her stony expression slowly dissipating.

"Why would you do that?" Quinn asked, her voice cracking.

Shelby looked away, wiping her own eyes. "I never thought I'd be jealous of a teenager." She laughed bitterly at herself. "I—come in, Quinn. I didn't—" she shook her head, walking back into the house.

Beth still had her face buried in Quinn's chest and Quinn just scooped her up in her arms, pressed another kiss to her hair, murmured another apology and walked inside. She kicked the door closed behind her and followed Shelby into the kitchen. "What the—" she stopped short of cursing when the slight weight of Beth in her arms reminded her that she needed to calm down. "What was that?"

Shelby turned around, looking frazzled and out of sorts as she leaned back against a counter, folding her arms across herself in an attempt to appear more put together than she actually was. "Look, I said I was sorry," she said tiredly, running a hand through her hair.

Beth leaned up to kiss Quinn's cheek and Shelby made this small sound from across the kitchen. Quinn smiled down at Beth, kissing her on the cheek as well before looking at Shelby.

"She talks about you all the time. As much as a nineteen month old baby _can_ talk about someone." Shelby shook her head sadly. "She constantly says your name; she always plays with the little lamb stuffed animal you bought her."

Quinn smile widened as she leaned down and kissed Beth on the nose.

Shelby stared sullenly down at the ground. "I have made…so many mistakes," she said quietly.

Quinn didn't say anything. She clutched Beth tighter to her body as she stared hard at Shelby. Shelby looked like she was two seconds away from either going crazy, crying, vomiting, any variation of all three, really.

"I have hurt Rachel so badly. She can't even," her lips rubbed together and her face scrunched up in a way that looked like tears would be imminent, "she can't even _look__ me __in __the __eye_." An anguished sound ripped unexpectedly from her throat that startled Beth into burying her face into Quinn's neck. Quinn ran a soothing hand down Beth's back as she regarded Shelby carefully. "And I feel like I keep messing up and now I've done something I shouldn't have and—" she sobbed again and Quinn clenched her eyes shut because this was so not what she had bargained for today when she had wanted to come visit her daughter.

"Look, Beth shouldn't have to see you like this," Quinn said quietly. This was turning from a cry to a meltdown as Shelby slid from the counter to the floor, tears now streaming down her face. "I'll take her tonight," she continued. "I'll keep her safe, feed her, take some clothes. And you—you just get yourself together. I'll bring her over tomorrow before school."

Shelby barely nodded and Quinn walked upstairs with Beth in her arms, packed a bag for her and walked back downstairs. "Where are your keys?" she asked brusquely.

An answer didn't come fast enough and Quinn took it upon herself to search the living room until she found them on the table. "Wanna go to my house, baby?" she asked Beth in a sweet tone as she walked to Shelby's car to get the car seat. She strapped it into her car, then strapped Beth inside, walking back inside to deposit Shelby's keys. She carefully walked into the kitchen to see Shelby sitting with her legs pulled up, arms around them, resting her chin on her knees.

Quinn stood there awkwardly, not really knowing where any of them were going to go from here. She took a deep breath. "For what it's worth, if Beth wanted nothing to do with me, I wouldn't be much better than you are right now." She took another breath. "But still, you were the one telling me to get my shit together and stop blaming others for my own problems a few months ago. Maybe you should take your own advice."

Shelby clenched her eyes closed, clearing her throat to mutter, "Make sure you feed her at least once more tonight."

"I'll take care of her," Quinn said softly. She shifted from foot to foot. "Anyway, see you tomorrow, I guess."

Quinn tried to feel sympathetic to whatever was going on with Shelby but the simple reminder that her daughter was in her car waiting to go home with her had her practically sprinting to her car. She hopped inside, starting the engine before turning around to flash a smile at Beth in the backseat. "Ready to go?"

"Yes!" Beth squealed, tilting her head to mimic Quinn's position.

Quinn chuckled, turning back around. "Sorry the car's a little cold, but it'll warm up soon." She reached forward to turn the heat on full blast. Her thumbs strummed along the steering wheel, trying to figure out just where the hell she was going to go when an idea popped into her head. She fumbled excitedly for her phone and slid it unlock to dial Rachel's number.

"_You__'__ve__ reached __Rachel __Barbra __Berry__'__s __cell __phone; __Rachel __speaking._"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Hey, so I have this hypothetical scenario for you."

She could practically hear the smile in Rachel's voice when she uttered, "_Lay __it__ on__ me_."

"What would you say if I hypothetically asked you if you wanted to see Beth? Right now."

"_Quinn,__ you __know__ how __awkward __things __are __between __me __and __Shelby __right __now. __Especially __with __everything __that __transpired __between__ us __yesterday.__"_

"I know, baby, and I'm not asking you to come over to Shelby's house to see Beth. What would you say if I had Beth in my car right and we were looking for somewhere to go?"

She heard Rachel suck in a huge breath and hold it. "_Y-you__ have __her?_" Rachel asked in the softest voice.

"I have her," Quinn said with a warm smile.

"_I__—__legally?_"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "What—you think I'd steal her? Actually, don't answer that."

"_Please__ come __over_," Rachel finally uttered.

"Okay, be there in twenty. Say bye, Beth." Quinn turned in the seat to extend the phone back to where Beth was. "Bye!"

"Bye, sweetie! See you soon!" Quinn heard Rachel say back before she disconnected the call.

She took a deep breath, feeling both excited and nervous to have the two most important people in her life finally meet.


	26. Chapter 26

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **NC-17

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Surprise! I had a day's worth of downtime and cranked this out. Also, Beth is such a scene stealer.

* * *

><p>She pulled smoothly into Rachel's driveway, heart hammering in her chest as she killed the engine. She pulled the key out, glancing up at her rearview mirror to Beth in the backseat. Beth was already half asleep, but perked up with a smile when she caught Quinn's gaze through the mirror. No matter how nervous Quinn was, she couldn't help but return that innocent smile as well. Beth was so…simple and innocent and <em>trusting<em>. Quinn couldn't help but wrestle with the fact that Beth barely knew her yet here she was, in Quinn's car, smiling widely at her and _trusting_ Quinn to keep her safe. Beth reminded Quinn so much of Rachel in that sense and with that, she unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

"Ready to go meet Rachel?" Quinn asked when she opened the door to grab Beth's bag from the floor. Beth looked at her strangely and Quinn laughed as she unbuckled her and scooped her up. "My girlfriend," she elaborated, knowing Beth wouldn't understand _that_ either. "She's really nice; you'll like her." She hip checked the car door until it closed and fumbled with the button key on her keychain to lock the doors. Quinn balanced Beth on her hip and pulled the bag further along her shoulder as she walked to the door.

She knocked a few times, then readjusted Beth and the bag and waited.

Beth leaned out to touch the glass screen of the door. "Door," she said, drawing out the word.

Quinn chuckled. "Such a smart girl you are," she said warmly. From watching _Teen Mom_ with Ronnie all the time, Quinn had always wondered, if she had kept Beth, would she have been able to be a teen mom and as she adjusted everything in her arms for a third time, she couldn't figure out why so many teenagers complained. Having a child to care for was certainly _different_ but if the person cared for the child, Quinn couldn't really understand why there was so much complaining.

The door began to open and Quinn swallowed thickly against the lump in her throat as Hiram greeted her. She groaned internally, unsure of how this was going to go considering Hiram was still uncomfortable about her taking Rachel's virginity.

His eyes bulged out of his head when he saw the baby in her arms.

Beth took one look at him, looked up to Quinn in uncertainty and buried her face into the safe haven of Quinn's neck. Quinn shushed Beth's quiet whimper warmly before looking apologetically up at Hiram. "Sorry, she's…a little fickle when it comes to meeting new people. I can never predict how she's going to act."

"No need to apologize, Quinn. I just—who is she?" he asked inquisitively, not at all looking as put out as Quinn thought he was going to be. "And please, come in before either of you catch a cold." He opened the screen door and held it open as Quinn stepped inside, Beth still clinging to her in every place she could.

"Thank you," Quinn breathed. "Umm, this is Beth. She's my daughter and Rachel said I could—"

"Is that her, dad?" Quinn heard footsteps bounding down the stairs and turned around to find Rachel hopping off the last step and heading towards them.

Rachel stopped as soon as she saw the baby in Quinn's arms. There-there was Beth and she was so, so _tiny_. _There_ was the little girl that Rachel had felt so protective of years ago. _There_ was the little girl that her own mother more or less tossed her aside to take care of. Her stomach knotted in nervousness and churned with a swirl of confused emotions as she cautiously took a few steps closer, Quinn staring at her the entire way as if trying to gauge her reaction.

"Well, she is awfully cute, Quinn," Hiram gushed as he gently poked Beth to get her to look at him.

"She is," Quinn agreed. "I wish she'd let you see her face." Quinn leaned down as much as she could, murmuring, "Can you let Mr. Berry see your face, baby?"

Quinn called her _baby_. The most laughable, irrational surge of jealously flared inside of Rachel before she stomped it down. Instead of being jealous of Beth sharing the same term of endearment as her, she decided to be relish in the fact that Quinn considered her to be on somewhat of the same level as her daughter if they both got called such a special name.

She walked closer until she was in front of Quinn and Hiram. "She's here," was all she could think to say.

Quinn smiled at her rare lack of words moment. "Yep, she is. And if she would stop being so shy, she could show you her face."

Rachel took a step closer until the side of her arm brushed along Beth's back. She leaned in closer to Beth. "Hi, Beth," she said quietly. "I'm Rachel. Can I see what you look like, please?"

Quinn watched in awe as the two most important people in her life interacted for the first time. She felt Beth stir, long eyelashes fluttering against her neck as Beth opened her eyes to peer at Rachel.

"I see you," Rachel cooed softly, when she caught the side of Beth's face. Even from this angle, Rachel could see how cute she looked. Her short, choppy, curly blonde hair charmed her completely and when Beth turned fully to look at her with a thoughtful expression, Rachel couldn't help but breathe, "It's amazing how much she looks like you."

Quinn blushed at the comment, kicking out her foot aimlessly and muttering, "She better."

"Hi," Rachel murmured when sharp, dark eyes focused completely on her. Beth leaned back more, bracing her hands on Quinn's chest as she regarded Rachel carefully.

"Hi," she said back.

Rachel's eyes widened and she may have squealed a little as Hiram cocked his head to the side and leaned in closer. "She has a lot of your mannerisms, Quinn."

Quinn chuckled quietly because it was nothing but the truth. Thundering footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs and Quinn looked up as Leroy came down. "What's all the commotion about?" He saw his husband and Rachel huddled around Quinn and stopped dead in his tracks with wide eyes. Then, he was in motion again, walking quicker towards them, and falling in line behind Rachel to peer down at Beth. "Someone's a cutie," he said with a smile.

Beth seemed to shrink in on herself and burrow back into Quinn's neck once more. Leroy frowned. "Sorry," Quinn said with a sheepish laugh. "She's a little shy."

Rachel turned around to stare pointedly at her parents. "It's probably because she has all of these new people crowding around her like she's a circus attraction."

"In my defense, I was here first," Hiram piped up.

"Well, in my defense, I was here last, which means you all have had the chance to see her," Leroy said, affronted.

"In my defense, she's my girlfriend's daughter, which means…I call dibs!" Rachel grabbed Quinn's unoccupied hand and led her to the stairs. "If, after some time with just the three of us, she feels comfortable enough, we can try to bring her to the living room and give her meeting you guys another go, okay?"

Quinn followed Rachel upstairs, impressed by how much it seemed that the youngest Berry was in fact, the head of the household.

They reached her bedroom and Rachel closed the door as Quinn slid the baby bag off her shoulder and onto the floor beside Rachel's bed. She took hers and Beth's coats off and sat down to hold Beth in her lap. Rachel settled in beside her. She looked down to Beth then back up at Quinn with a soft smile. "I'm surprised Shelby let you have her for the night."

Quinn looked down at Beth, softly wiggling her fingers into her stomach until Beth squealed and giggled in a way that—to Rachel's surprise—melted her heart. "Shelby didn't really have much choice."

"Mom?" Beth asked, looking up at Quinn confusedly. Quinn forced a smile, hating the fact that Beth referred to Shelby as her mother. "Yeah, Shelby's tired," Quinn explained to her. "So, I'm taking care of you tonight."

There was a small part of Rachel that wanted to know what _really_ happened with Shelby, but an even bigger part of her that decided not to pry. Shelby and _her_ business didn't really seem like Rachel's business anymore.

Beth grinned toothily. "Quinn."

"She knows how to say your name," Rachel noted. She hesitantly reached out, softly grabbing a blonde curl on Beth's head. Beth turned to her then back to Quinn, tilting her head to the side in what Quinn had come to realize was her version of trying to ask a question.

Quinn smiled down at her, scooting closer to Rachel and slinging an arm around her shoulder. She pulled Rachel close and kissed her on the cheek as if showing Beth that Rachel could be trusted. Beth looked back at Rachel and cautiously reached a hand out.

Rachel chuckled quietly and tentatively took the small hand into her own. "She's a very cautious little girl."

Quinn hummed a soft agreement. "I had no idea how much until now."

"It's not a bad thing," Rachel told her, picking up on her tone of voice. "She needs to be cautious; the world isn't the safest place."

"Yeah, but what if she grows up like me and never lets anyone in?"

Rachel patiently held out her arms and, after a moment of hesitation, Beth crawled into her lap. "I don't think she'll have an issue with letting anyone in," Rachel said finally. "She seems to have struck a balance between this whole not being too trustworthy, yet extending trust to those who deserve it thing."

"She's kind of like a mix between you and me…personality wise," Quinn added belatedly, blushing in embarrassment.

Rachel's gaze shot up to hers immediately. Her dark eyes were wide with surprise and Quinn shifted nervously beside her. "Just forget I said it."

"What if I don't want to?" Rachel asked carefully. "What if I like the idea of Beth being like-like me. Like _us_…"

Quinn took a deep breath, scooting back along the bed to put some space between the two of them. "What does that mean?" she asked quietly.

Rachel looked down to Beth crawling from her lap and onto her bed, then looked back up at Quinn reclining back on an elbow on her pillows. "I don't know," she admitted. She had a vague idea, but ultimately she _didn't_ _know_.

"I-is this okay?" Quinn asked from the head of the bed. Rachel took her eyes off of Beth slowly crawling towards Quinn to look at Quinn herself.

"Is what okay?" Rachel asked.

She shrugged, looking down at her daughter. "Having Beth here—are you okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" As if to prove how comfortable she actually _was_, Rachel crawled along the bed beside Beth. Beth looked over to the image of Rachel, three times her own size, on her hands and knees and doubled over giggling. She tipped over onto her side with laughter and Rachel watched on in amusement, utterly happy that she could make Beth laugh.

Quinn watched the two of them interact with a fond smile.

Rachel pressed her luck, leaning over to nuzzle the side of Beth's face and, ticklish, Beth kicked out a leg and started laughing all over again. "Such a little cutie, you are!" Rachel squealed.

Quinn couldn't help but smile at how perfect they looked. In the confines of Rachel's room they felt like their own little family. Her wandering eyes couldn't help but take in the perfect arch of Rachel's back or the curve of her ass as she kneeled to press kisses along the side of Beth's face. Quinn inhaled a deep breath and willed her eyes away, feeling incredibly inappropriate about ogling her girlfriend while her daughter was around. How did older parents not feel uncomfortable with kissing each other while their children were around?

Rachel looked up curiously, wondering why Quinn was purposefully not looking at her and Beth. She wondered if Quinn was uncomfortable with the two of them interacting. Then she caught the small blush dusting Quinn's nose and cheeks and smiled knowingly. Oddly relieved that Quinn was feeling…_that_ instead of being uncomfortable about her and Beth interacting, Rachel dipped back down to kiss Beth a final time. She went to pull back but Beth wrapped her arms around her neck and held her there. Rachel looked down with wide, awe-struck eyes as Beth leaned up to place a wet kiss on her nose.

Quinn laughed at the display before her. "It takes a little while for her to warm up to you, but once she does, she's very affectionate."

"Hmm," Rachel hummed as she returned Beth's kiss with one of her own. "I know someone just like that."

Hazel eyes dipped down in mild embarrassment as Rachel giggled. She crawled closer to kiss Quinn on the cheek. "Thank you for bringing her here," she murmured. She pulled back, eyes sparkling as she looked at Quinn. "I've been wanting to see her for a while now."

"I've wanted you to see her," Quinn told her, her hands fidgeting between the two of them as she stared at the unmasked love and affection in Rachel's eyes.

Rachel slid a warm palm over Quinn's hands to still her fidgeting. She smiled, leaned down and kissed her before turning back to Beth. Beth struggled a little to sit up fully before pointing a short finger, uttering, "Quinn." Quinn nodded, then Beth's finger slid over to point at Rachel, tilting her head to the side.

"What's wrong?" Rachel whispered.

"I think she wants to know your name," Quinn replied around a smile. She leaned up to a sitting position, pointing to her girlfriend. "Rachel."

Beth blinked once, hard. Her eyebrows knitted together as she pursed her lips as if she were actually going to try to repeat it, but came up short.

"Gosh, she's so cute," Rachel breathed.

Quinn leaned down until they were face to face. "Okay, baby, watch my lips," she instructed. She opened her mouth to exaggeratedly mouth the name "Rachel" to Beth.

Beth opened her mouth to mimic Quinn as best she could but in the end the closest she could come to saying Rachel's name was "Achoo" which, Rachel just responded enthusiastically with, "That's perfect!" She clapped animatedly and planted a congratulatory kiss in blonde curls as Beth grinned widely at her. "Achoo!"

"Yes, sweetheart, that's exactly right."

Quinn flashed a faux smile, muttering through gritted teeth, "It kills you that she can't say your name, doesn't it?"

"I'm dying a little on the inside as we speak," Rachel said quietly, smiling widely at Beth.

Quinn's head tossed back with a laugh.

Despite the fact that Beth couldn't say her name correctly, Rachel was positively charmed at her efforts. Once Beth had mastered "Achoo", that was pretty much who Rachel would be for the rest of the night.

"Do you have toys for her?" Rachel asked as Beth began to crawl towards the edge of her bed. Rachel slid off the side and helped Beth climb down.

Quinn sat up and swung her legs off the side of the bed. "I have some blocks and a few toy car—"

"Cars!" Beth shouted. Rachel couldn't resist picking her up and squeezing a little.

"Cars it is." Quinn rummaged through her baby bag beside the bed and fished out two cars. She walked over to stand in front of the pair. Rachel looked up at her and her breath caught as the image of her girlfriend holding her daughter seared into her brain and cemented a place in her heart. She didn't really know what she was doing when she reached out and placed her hand on Rachel's hip, but Rachel didn't really seem to mind, so she just stepped closer. She rubbed her lips together, gaze dipping almost shyly before looking back up at Rachel. "Thank you for being so understanding about this," she said quietly.

"Understanding? Quinn, I've wanted to see her. It's okay that you've brought her here, more than okay." Rachel adjusted Beth on her hip without a second thought as if having a squirming child attached to her hip was normal. She was glad for this opportunity, glad to meet someone that had meant so much to her in relation to both Quinn and Shelby, glad to finally lay some residual feelings to rest until nothing but affection remained between her and Beth.

"I really want to kiss you right now," Quinn breathed.

Rachel smiled. "Why don't you?"

Quinn bit her bottom lip, slowly pulling it from its entrapment beneath her teeth. "I really want to kiss you and _not_ have to stop." Her gaze slid over to Beth who was looking back and forth between them expectantly. "Cars?" she asked.

Quinn nodded. "Cars."

They all settled down on the floor and Quinn gave Beth one of the cars in her hand. Beth watched Quinn curiously before turning around. "Achoo." She reached up and handed the car to Rachel.

"You don't want to play?" Rachel asked. Beth shook her head.

"Now that I think about it, she did enjoy watching Puck race the cars around more than actually doing it herself," Quinn noted thoughtfully.

The game quickly turned into Rachel and Quinn crawling all around the floor like a bunch of overgrown five year olds while Beth laughed and clapped animatedly from the middle of the floor. "I think she takes some sick joy out to watching people four times her size crawl around the floor embarrassedly," Quinn grumbled.

"Hmm, what, baby?" Rachel hummed from behind Quinn. She was too busy focusing on the sway of Quinn's hips as she crawled on the floor and the roundness of her ass. It was kind of shaped like an apple, and—was it bad to have the sudden urge to…bite it?

Quinn turned around, a teasing smirk on her face. "Mind out of the gutter." She slid her car ahead of her and collided it with Rachel's.

"Quinn, no!" Beth shouted.

Both Quinn and Rachel froze. Quinn turned wide eyes on Beth as Rachel bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"What?" Quinn asked incredulously.

"No boom," Beth told her, making two fists and smashing them together in obvious simulation of Quinn and Rachel's cars crashing. "No boom, Achoo."

"I can't believe this," Quinn muttered. Rachel leaned forward to softly head butt Quinn in the shoulder, giggling silently. "She's taking up for you, but not me. Her own mother."

Rachel bit her shoulder until Quinn shivered. "Because she knows how much of a bully you are," she teased.

"Whatever," she grumbled. She bumped her car petulantly into Rachel's car again, pouting when Beth told her, "No boom, Quinn!"

Quinn sighed and slumped back to sit down, pouting over at Beth. "You're no fun."

There was a knock on the door and everyone's attention whipped around. Rachel stood up, smoothing her skirt down as she walked towards the door. She cracked it open to find Hiram and Leroy standing there excitedly.

"Can I…help you?" Rachel asked confusedly.

"We wanna see the baby," Hiram said giddily.

"I don't know, dad."

"Come on, Rachel, it's been eighteen years since a baby has been in this house," Leroy lamented. "Our father senses are tingling."

Quinn stood up and walked over to Beth, picking her up with ease. "Ready to say hi to Hiram and Leroy?"

Beth clutched to Quinn tightly but looked towards Hiram and Leroy as Quinn approached them.

"Can I hold you?" Hiram asked once they were closer.

Beth's eyes pinched together tightly and Leroy laughed from behind him. "Wow, Quinn, she definitely has you all over her."

Quinn smiled sheepishly as she slowly passed Beth off to Hiram. Beth squirmed and whimpered as Hiram grew closer. "It's okay," Quinn soothed. She stood right beside Hiram to give Beth reassurance as Hiram held her.

"Light as a feather," he said quietly.

Leroy stepped closer, making a funny face as Beth looked towards him. Her lips quivered until she finally smiled, letting loose a quiet giggle. "Such chubby cheeks."

"They're going to steal her, you know," Rachel said as she folded her arms across her chest, nudging Quinn.

They all watched how every few seconds Beth would look back to Quinn. "I doubt we'd ever be able to," Hiram said amusedly.

Beth rubbed at her eyes as she looked towards Quinn. "Sleepy," she whined.

They all made a collective "aww" sound except Quinn who just eyed Beth suspiciously as she took her from Hiram. "Yeah, right. You just don't want to socialize," she teased. Beth cuddled under her chin and buried her face into the warmth of Quinn's neck, curling a fist into her dress to hold her closer.

Quinn shifted nervously where she stood, looking up at Hiram and Leroy. "Umm, I know I hadn't really asked but…my mom hasn't met Beth yet and I don't really know how they'd take to meeting each other. I was wondering if maybe Beth and I could—"

"Absolutely," Hiram told her. "We don't have a spare room, so Beth can sleep in the bed with Rachel and you can sleep downstairs."

"Dad!"

"What?"

"You can sleep in here if you want," Leroy supplied. "Do you really think they're going to have sex with a baby less than two feet away?" he grumbled to Hiram.

"You never know with teenagers."

"You have my word," Quinn promised. "I won't—Rachel and I won't do…_that_ while Beth is in the same bed with us. That's just—" her face scrunched up in disgust. "Ew."

Rachel nodded. "I have to agree; I think having relations with a child in the room, in the _bed_ is just asking to scar that child for life and I would never—"

"Yeah, this conversation is making me uncomfortable," Quinn muttered.

"Sleepy!" Beth whined again.

Quinn kissed the top of her head. "You're kind of a brat," she murmured warmly.

Beth snuggled closer to her with a sigh.

"We'll leave you guys to it. Is there anything you need?" Leroy asked.

Quinn looked down to Beth. "Do you want to eat before you go to bed?"

Beth shook her head.

"I think we're good for the night. Thank you for this, really."

"Don't mention it. Have a good night, girls."

"A good, clean night," Hiram told them.

"Good night, dad," Rachel said with a mild glare as she shut the door, locking it behind her. When she turned back around, Quinn had Beth laid out on the bed, removing her diaper. "Did she soil herself?" Rachel asked as she walked closer.

"Hmm, no," Quinn hummed. "She just likes a clean diaper before she sleeps. If she doesn't get one then she fidgets until someone changes her." She removed the diaper completely, dodging a leg that kicked out near her rib. "Can you hand me a diaper, Rachel?"

That simple phrase made Rachel's heart flutter unexpectedly because it sounded so domestic and so much how she and Quinn _might_ sound approximately fifteen years from now—definitely after she had won at least two Tony's. She reached smoothly into the bag and produced a diaper to hand to Quinn. Hazel eyes met her own wide eyes and nearly pale face and Quinn winced. "Is this too much for you?" She straightened abruptly. "I probably should have asked you if I could stay over. I'm sorry—I just assumed. I can pack her stuff up now and—"

"Baby, stop apologizing," Rachel soothed. "And don't you dare leave. I'll always enjoy your company, no matter what form it may come in and I've certainly enjoyed meeting Little Miss Beth," she said, smiling down at the baby on her bed. Beth grinned up at her, unapologetically naked and Rachel laughed at the simplicity of it all. "Of course I want you to stay the night," she murmured, not taking her eyes off Beth.

When Quinn didn't make a move one way or the other, Rachel plucked the diaper from her hand and gently pushed her aside. Once she was in front of Beth, she bit her lip unsurely. "I've only changed a few cousin's diapers, thus, I am in no way a master at this."

Quinn placed a hand on Rachel's right hip and slid in behind her. She gathered soft, dark hair along one shoulder and kissed the back of her neck. "You don't have to be a pro at putting a diaper on," she murmured lowly. "It's just one of those great things in life you can be mediocre at and still get the job done correctly."

She grabbed the diaper from Rachel's hand and grabbed both of Beth's ankles with the other. "This is her favorite part," she said and Rachel could hear the smile in her voice. Quinn stepped closer, her breasts pressing into Rachel's shoulder blades and her hips nestling her ass perfectly. Rachel breathed in deeply, licking her lips.

Quinn lifted Beth by her ankles to slide the diaper below her and Beth squealed out a laugh. Rachel's near arousal fell away completely at the endearing sound of Beth laughing. Quinn lowered her to the bed again, then picked up a small tube of cream. "She recently had a small diaper rash," she explained as almost an afterthought. "This gets rid of it and prevents future break outs."

Rachel watched in awe as Quinn talked and applied the cream as if mothering was the most natural thing in the world to her. "This is baby powder—also prevents diaper rash." She dusted on some baby powder that had Beth laughing and sneezing all at once. "Then you just sew up the patient," she said teasingly, bumping her hips into Rachel's ass playfully as she fastened the diaper neatly. She pulled back and everything was as good as new. "See? Easy."

"Achooooo," Beth said, elongating her lips to draw out the _O_ sound. "Sleepy?"

"Kind of," Rachel answered, surprised at how true that statement was. "I think you wore me out."

"She wears everyone out," Quinn said as she took off her dress. She walked around in nothing but a bra and panties and Rachel couldn't help but watch her as she walked over to her dresser and took out a sleep shirt and shorts to wear. She held up the shirt with an evil smile.

Rachel swallowed thickly. "That might be a bit small for you."

"Hmm." Quinn slid it over her head with ease. She pulled it down as far as it went—which was barely past her bellybutton. "So, it is." She pulled on a pair of shorts and Rachel stared hard at the sliver of skin made available to her. Quinn hopped on the bed, gathering Beth in her arms to carry her to the head of the bed. "Ready for sleep, baby?" Beth nodded tiredly and curled into Quinn's side as soon as they were under the blankets. "Night, Quinn."

"Night, baby. I love you."

"Love you."

Rachel stood frozen at the side of the bed, watching the whole exchange and wondering if she was intruding. She had felt welcomed for the majority of the night but for some reason, in this moment, she kind of felt like an outsider looking in.

"Don't do that," Quinn said when she saw the almost crestfallen look on her face.

"Do what?" she tried to ask innocently.

The eyebrow raise she was given told Rachel that Quinn wasn't buying her innocent act, nor was she amused. "Come to bed."

As she rushed over to her dresser to find a set of clothes to wear to bed, she wondered if there was ever going to be a time when those words were uttered to her and she'd be in the mood to say no.

Probably not.

She slid under the covers a second later, smiling at the pair in her bed. Beth stirred as Rachel settled into bed and rolled over to face her. Her eyes barely peeled open as she muttered, "Achoo?"

"I'm here," Rachel said quietly.

"Quinn?" Beth questioned, eyes already slipping closed.

"Right behind you."

Beth haphazardly reached out and curled her fist around Rachel's index finger. Rachel inhaled a shaky breath as Beth's breathing evened out again.

"Amazing, right?" Quinn asked quietly.

Rachel nodded, her eyebrows shooting up on her forehead. She looked back to Quinn. "This is the little girl that-that—"

"That caused you so much grief?" Quinn guessed astutely with an eyebrow raise. "That's her." Her warm gaze swept from Rachel to Beth. She ran her hand through Beth's hair fondly. "She gave us both grief."

"Her eyes look just like Noah's," Rachel blurted out suddenly. Quinn eyed her in muted surprise and Rachel ducked her head, biting her lip.

Quinn scooted as close as she could with Beth between them. "Rachel, are you uncomfortable with Beth and me spending the night?"

"No—I—" she shook her head, wondering why she was making such a big deal out of this situation. "I'm not uncomfortable; I'm glad you both came over to spend the night."

"Then why are you acting so weird?" Quinn asked, brow furrowing the longer this conversation carried on.

"Because she has Noah's eyes," she explained in a voice that teetered on a whine, as if that explained everything. "She has his eyes and probably some other attributes of his and—"

"Baby, Puck will always be the father," Quinn said as gently as she could. She leaned across Beth to kiss Rachel softly. "But I didn't call Puck when I was looking for a place to go earlier—despite the fact that he's the father." She kissed Rachel again. "And I'm definitely not sleeping in his bed tonight."

Rachel buried a hand into the short hairs at the nape of Quinn's neck. "I'm being foolish," she sighed. "I—Beth is so cute and so sweet, and how can anyone not love her?"

"I don't doubt that you like her, Rachel," Quinn said carefully. "It's just—there are some residual things that get brought up when you see her and that's completely understandable. And if you don't want me to bring her over again, I don't—"

"No," Rachel voiced softly. "I—please bring her over whenever you get the chance. I had been dying to see her, tonight has been amazing, I just—like you said, I have my own things to work out and I can." She couldn't help but look down to where Beth was still gripping her finger like a lifeline. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to see her again."

"She really likes you," Quinn noted.

"She's a very likeable little girl herself."

"Seeing you interact with her tonight…" Quinn leaned back, running a hand through her hair and puffing out a breath. "It was…pretty hot; I have to admit."

Rachel looked over at her after her comment. Her dark, warm gaze seemed to turn up a few notches to smoldering. "Yeah?"

Quinn nodded. "I just…really, really wanted to—"

"Me too," Rachel said with a soft, resigned smile because with Beth separating the two of them, nothing, or rather, _no_ _one_ was getting done tonight.

Quinn nodded again, adhering to her fate as she lied back against the pillow. Her gaze washed over Rachel's room, over the billions of pictures of Rachel herself and the pictures of her fathers. "We should take more pictures together," she said after a moment of staring at a photo of Rachel holding what looked to be a dance competition trophy, her fathers flanking her with proud smiles on their faces.

Rachel smiled down at her for a moment, then said with barely contained excitement, "That can certainly be arranged."

"Your fathers really seem to like children."

Quinn rarely voiced her thoughts aside from when she was either drunk or completely comfortable and Rachel felt warmth wash throughout her as she sat there with Beth's hand wrapped around her finger, getting the chance to listen to the stream of thoughts that were currently flowing through her girlfriend's head. "They do. They're very nurturing individuals."

"It shows." Her eyes shot up to Rachel's ceiling as she adjusted her arms under her head. "When do you hear back from NYADA?"

"March sixth."

"I hope you get in. But I'm sure you will."

"I hope so, too."

"Do you think Kurt will get in?" Quinn turned to look at her. "Honestly."

Rachel smirked at the last of her comment. "I honestly don't know. It's pretty dicey; but I'm sure being senior class president will help."

Quinn laughed quietly and Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"I just—your posters for class president—" she gestured with her hands, "—that whole debacle."

Rachel pouted cutely and Quinn's heart sped up just a little when she turned to look at her.

"Well, at least I had a certain pink haired _someone_ to help me during such a turbulent time." She settled down more fully on the bed. Her finger slipped from Beth's who instantly began whimpering in her sleep and Rachel slid the index finger of her other hand into the hollow of Beth's fist.

Quinn looked over at the two of them. "She's got you whipped."

Rachel glared playfully at her as she lied on her side, finally being able to sink her face into her pillow. She yawned softly.

"Be honest," Quinn started.

"Mm, honest about what, baby?" Rachel murmured tiredly.

"On a scale of one to ten, how hot did you find the look I had at the beginning of the year?"

Rachel cracked an eye open that she didn't even know was closed. She sat up, resting her weight on her elbow. "Honestly?"

"Mhm."

"Ten," she admitted. "I didn't approve and I positively _loathed_ the fact that you smoked but, you sold the look really well, Quinn. _Really_ well."

Quinn smiled slyly at the admission. "Which did you find hotter: me as a Cheerio or me as a Skank?"

Rachel frowned. "You were never a skank."

"It's just the name of the group."

"Even still," Rachel insisted. "Don't call yourself that."

"Fine, which was hotter: when I was a Cheerio or when I was _a part_ of this _group_ called the Skanks?"

"Cheerio," Rachel supplied instantly.

"Wow…without a doubt," Quinn mumbled to herself. "Interesting."

"Why interesting?" Rachel asked as she laid back down.

Quinn shrugged. "Just is."

"Have you applied for colleges?" Rachel asked around another yawn. She was fading fast and wanted to recall their earlier conversation in order to ask Quinn before she fell asleep.

Quinn took a deep breath. "I've applied to OSU and NYU."

"Good job, baby," she said in this sleepy, enthusiastic voice that made her voice rough, yet pitched it higher in a way that sat warmly on Quinn's heart.

"Russell is making me apply to Yale," she grumbled.

"I like that idea."

"Why?"

"Because my _girlfriend_ may be going to Yale."

"Yeah, but Yale is in Connecticut," Quinn said a little worriedly. "It's not in New York."

Rachel rubbed at her eyes sleepily. "If you think that minor detail is going to keep me from you then you don't know how tenacious Rachel Berry can be."

"He wants me to major in the-the _piano_," Quinn continued to lament as Rachel straddled consciousness and unconsciousness.

"I'm almost positive you can't major in the piano, baby," Rachel murmured. "Maybe in music with a concentration in the piano? Or in classical music? I don't know, but we can figure it out when you get to Yale. Or NYU, whichever."

Quinn sat there stunned as she stared at Rachel who didn't really seem to understand what the problem was. Or that there was even a problem to begin with. And as Quinn stared down at her girlfriend, she couldn't really see what the problem was either. Rachel made everything sound so _simple_.

"What if I wanted to major in art, too?" Quinn asked quietly.

It took a while for Rachel to respond, and even when she did, her voice was whisper soft. "I have no doubt you can do both and excel."

After that, Quinn didn't really have any fight left. When Rachel talked about it in that sleepy tone of voice that made Quinn think of cotton balls, her father forcing her to apply to Yale and major in the fucking piano actually seemed…doable and not as aversive as it did a day ago.

She sat up, gently scooping up Beth and sliding her over. Rachel's finger slipped from her grip and Quinn held her breath, wondering how Beth was going to react. When a cry wasn't forthcoming, Quinn crawled over the both of them, towards the edge of the bed and scooted behind Rachel. "Scoot over," she whispered against her ear. Rachel made a vague sound of displeasure but scooted forward anyway. Quinn settled more fully behind her and Rachel hummed appreciatively. She slid a warm palm over the back of Quinn's neck, holding her there and mumbled a barely there "Love you", as Quinn slid an arm around her waist.

"I love you, too." She dotted kisses along the side of her neck. "I love you so much," she breathed into her skin. "Go back to sleep."

Beth stirred grumpily beside them and Rachel peeled an eye open, sliding her right arm out from under her to gingerly grab the fist shaking angrily mere inches from her face. She brought it to her lips and pressed a kiss to it. Beth sighed, dropping their joined hands back down to the bed and falling back asleep. Rachel's own breathing evened out as she snuggled further into the warm body behind her.

Quinn watched the entire exchange with a smile.

* * *

><p>Her alarm clock startled everyone in the room and Rachel cursed silently as Quinn very nearly fell off the bed when Rachel tried to reach behind her for the alarm. Quinn shot up as quickly as she could to both avoid being knocked to the floor and to silence the obstruction in the room. She fumbled with it until it turned off and with an irritated whine, Beth rolled over onto her side away from Quinn and Rachel in her sleep.<p>

Quinn smiled amusedly, her eyes sliding from Beth to Rachel. Her hair was mussed as she stood from the bed, stretching with a yawn. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Quinn echoed quietly.

Rachel smiled at the softness in her tone before walking towards the bathroom. Quinn spared one more look at Beth to make sure she was okay, then followed Rachel into the bathroom, closing the door. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?" she asked.

Rachel pointed towards a toothbrush in a holder on the counter.

Quinn picked it up with a frown. "This is from the last time I was here?"

"Umm, yes," Rachel replied hesitantly as she ran a wash cloth under hot water. "It's not—"

"No, it's not creepy," Quinn assured. "And don't—you don't always have to ask that question. The only thing you've done that I've found creepy was ask me if you could have my nose because you had a monster crush on me."

Rachel flushed in embarrassment, pressing the wash cloth to her face. "It was more complicated than that," she mumbled.

Quinn smirked at her embarrassment. "Anyway, do you have another toothbrush? This one has stale alcohol on it and I feel like I'll vomit if I use it."

"What a wonderful visual to imagine so early in the morning," Rachel replied sarcastically as she bent down to find a toothbrush in the bottom cabinets under her sink.

Quinn groaned softly at the sight before her. "Warn me next time."

Rachel stood back up, pulling down the edges of her shorts with yet another blush before handing the toothbrush to Quinn.

Quinn splashed cold water on her face, then brushed her teeth. She caught dark brown eyes in the mirror and Rachel smiled widely, mouth full of toothpaste.

"Dork," Quinn scoffed with a warm laugh that belied the comment. She spat out the rest of her toothpaste, placing her new toothbrush in the holder. Then she slid along the counter until she was beside Rachel, pivoting to stand behind her. Her hands rested on both sides of the counter as she pressed her body tightly behind the one in front of her.

Rachel watched with dark eyes as Quinn swept her hair over her left shoulder and started peppering kisses along her neck. "I wanted to do this all last night," Quinn murmured into her skin. She kissed a bare, tan shoulder before dragging her lips up her neck and sucking softly.

Rachel moaned and tilted her head to the side, wiping her mouth free of residual toothpaste. Her hands fell to the sink and she gripped it tightly as she felt hips thrusting against her from behind.

"I want you," Quinn whispered. A tongue darted out to trace the shell of Rachel's ear and she thrusted back into Quinn without warning.

Quinn pulled back and spun Rachel around to face her. Her chest was heaving, hazel eyes darkening. "We have to be quick."

"We have to be quiet."

Quinn smirked. "Tell yourself that."

Rachel huffed with a retort on her tongue, but Quinn buried her hands in her hair and kissed her forcefully. She reached out to grip Quinn's hips to steady herself. Her thumbs rubbed back and forth on her hipbone before her fingers danced along her abs. She kept trekking upwards to where she could finally feel the fabric of her shirt floating just below Quinn's bellybutton. Quinn panted against her mouth, biting her lip as Rachel's hands rose higher. Her hands slipped under the cups of a lace bra and she palmed Quinn's breasts with a wistful sigh. She had missed this so much.

Quinn angled her hips right against Rachel's hipbone and groaned into her mouth at the pressure immediately created against her clit. Her hands dropped back to the sink, gripping as her hips undulated slowly against Rachel. "Fuck, Rachel, I—let me eat you out."

Rachel whimpered and kissed her hard, nodding enthusiastically as she hopped up on the sink. She lifted her hips as Quinn pulled her shorts and panties down then spread her legs. "What if Beth wakes up?" she whispered.

"We would know, trust me." Quinn settled on her knees in front of her and the image nearly made Rachel come. "She likes to wake everyone up with her crying when she wakes up."

Rachel laughed then groaned when Quinn slid her tongue through her pussy without warning. She braced her hands on the edge of the sink, white knuckling it in her grip as she leaned back further and slowly pumped her hips forward.

Quinn swirled her tongue around her clit in slow circles before taking it into her mouth and sucking on it. She moaned at the feel of Rachel's clit hardening on her tongue.

"Mmm, baby, I've missed you," Rachel moaned as she buried a hand in Quinn's hair. Quinn ate pussy like she did everything else—_well_. "Is this still wow to you, because it's so, so wow to me, baby."

Quinn pulled back, licking her lips clean. "It's wow to me, too, baby," she breathed. Her middle finger slid in with ease, wet walls gripping her as Rachel let loose a torturous moan. Quinn couldn't help but answer with a moan of her own as she watched her finger repeatedly being swallowed, returning to her wetter than it was before. "It'll always be wow to me."

She added a second finger and Rachel's back bowed as Quinn worked her clit between her teeth softly. "Suck it, Quinn, _please_."

Quinn wrapped her lips around and sucked hard until Rachel clenched and came around her fingers. Rachel trembled and shook and then Quinn bit at her the barest hint that made her shake and quake even harder than before.

She stood up, licking her fingers and wiping her chin with a smile that almost looked victorious as Rachel lied slumped against the mirror behind her. She panted quietly for a few seconds, then asked, "Is Beth awake yet?"

Quinn stood perfectly still and trained her ear towards the door. When she didn't hear anything, she shook her head and Rachel slid off the sink and walked towards her until Quinn was pressed against the wall. Rachel leaned up and kissed her softly, sucking herself off a plump bottom lip and groaning at the taste. She pulled the waistband of the shorts she let Quinn borrow away and slid her right hand inside, bypassing her underwear and drenching her fingers in wet, warmth.

Quinn moaned, tipping her head back against the cool, tiled walls as Rachel circled her entrance slowly. "No teasing," she gritted out.

"I'm not teasing," Rachel replied, voice several octaves lower with an aroused sparkle to her near pitch black eyes. "Think of it as…prepping."

"I'm too wet for you to need prepping."

Rachel moaned and kissed Quinn hard, slanting her lips across hers to slide their lips together effortlessly. She slipped two fingers inside and began thrusting at a quick pace. "She's bound to wake up soon."

Quinn squirmed against the wall as Rachel thrust quickly in and out of her. "Yeah…don't mention my daughter while you're fucking me."

Rachel pulled back from the kiss, burying her face into Quinn's neck with a quiet giggle. "Sorry." She licked a hot trail up her neck, nipping on her ear as she felt Quinn begin to grind down onto her fingers.

"Harder," she begged.

The next thing Quinn knew, teeth were digging into her skin, two fingers were twisting her nipple and Rachel was slamming into her all at once. She screamed without meaning to as she felt like she was going to come out of her skin.

"Shh," Rachel breathed into her neck. "And you told me _I_ was the loud one."

"Normally you are," Quinn whispered shakily as Rachel thumbed her hard nipple back and forth.

"Who's the loud one now?" Rachel teased.

Quinn's only response was a choked moan as she rose onto her tiptoes, seemingly trying to escape how good those fingers inside of her made her feel. Rachel was reeling from the relentless pace she was thrusting into Quinn and the small growls Quinn was releasing. They were-they were _fucking_ and Rachel moaned as that one word resonated in her mind along with with Quinn's increasing moans. This wasn't making love. This was hard and fast and _desperate._ "I love you," Rachel moaned. Her thumb swiped her clit over and over before rubbing in circles then pressing down once. _Hard_.

"Shit," Quinn shrieked quietly as she rose higher on her toes. Rachel rose with her to tongue her pulse point, keeping her finger mashed against her clit as she pinched a pink nipple once more for good measure. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_," Quinn moaned.

"That's it, baby," Rachel soothed. "Let it go."

Quinn shuddered and moaned, whispering Rachel's name through her release.

"I can't get over how good being inside of you feels," Rachel moaned as tight walls contracted rhythmically against her fingers.

Quinn slumped against her with a blissful sigh. She nuzzled into her neck softly. "You feel so amazing," she whispered back. She continued to nuzzle and kiss along her throat until Rachel was wishing they actually had time to cuddle before Quinn left.

"You should probably shower or something," Rachel said as she ran her hand through damp, blonde hair, kissing Quinn softly.

Quinn nodded, but didn't make a move.

* * *

><p>Quinn juggled Beth, the baby bag, and her keys in her grip as she tried to silently open the door.<p>

"Hungry!" Beth whined in her ear.

"I know, baby. Shh." She unlocked the door and slid inside, closing it silently behind her. "Just let me get our coats off, then I can make you some oatmeal. Want some oatmeal?"

Beth nodded with a wide grin.

"I knew you'd like oatmeal."

"Quinn, is that you?"

She froze in place at the sound of her mother's voice. Her feet hesitantly carried her into the kitchen to find Judy slumped, face down against the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of her. Quinn swallowed nervously. "Uh, hey."

Judy rubbed a hand tiredly across her face but couldn't gather the strength to pick her head up. "I've been up literally all night worried about you because you didn't come home." She paused and inhaled a weary breath. "I called your phone I don't know how many times."

Quinn winced. "I—sorry, I turned it off."

"Quinn," Judy sighed, picking her head up to stare down at the kitchen table. "I know things haven't always been good with us, but I'm trying. And I'd appreciate if you'd meet me halfway."

"Okay," Quinn answered distractedly, barely listening to the conversation over the blood rushing through her ears because any second now Judy was going to look up and see Beth in her arms and Quinn wasn't really sure she was ready for that. She had been hoping Judy would be in her bed asleep considering it was nearly seven in the morning. "Okay, mom."

"Mom?" Beth asked curiously.

Judy's head shot up immediately at the sound of a new, much younger voice in the room. She instantly recognized who the baby in Quinn's arms was due to the picture on the wall atop Quinn's bed being permanently seared into her brain. She stumbled out of her chair, nearly knocking it over as she made her way to the pair. "Quinnie, I—I—"

Quinn bit the inside of her cheek, nervously waiting to see how Judy was going to finish that sentence. Beth clutched Quinn tighter the closer Judy came towards them.

"I can't _believe_ that the one time you actually bring her here I'm at my _worst_." Judy frowned in mock annoyance as Quinn exhaled a relieved sigh. "I don't have makeup on; I probably look like one of those scary grandmothers you always hear young children complain about."

"You're fine, mom."

Beth poked her head out from under Quinn's chin. "Mom?" she voiced again in curiosity.

Quinn nodded. "This is my mom," she told Beth.

Beth's head tilted to the side and Judy smiled. "Quinn…mom?"

"Yes, dear, I'm her mom, your grandmother." Judy stood there, preening Beth—from running her hand through the blonde curls on her head, to smoothing down nonexistent wrinkles in her clothes. "Quinn, she is just the sweetest little thing. Looks so much like a Fabray."

Quinn felt an odd mix of pride and dread at Judy's sentiment that had her casting a look off to the side. "Yeah…she's cute."

Beth pointed a finger at Judy. "Quinn mom," she uttered a little more confidently.

Judy half smiled. "If that'll help you remember me, sweetheart." She held out her arms to take her and, when Beth didn't exactly pull away, Quinn allowed Judy to hold her. They stood there for a second longer, Quinn making sure Beth was okay, before she slowly walked away towards the kitchen.

She grabbed the oatmeal from the pantry and a pot from under the stove. "If she gets fussy, it's because she's hungry. You can bring her in here because the sight of watching someone make her food calms her down for some odd reason."

Judy laughed, completely charmed as she followed Quinn's voice towards the kitchen. Beth watched her carefully, not completely trusting yet.

"Quinn, she-she's giving me this look," Judy said, voice bordering on awestruck.

"What look?"

"I don't know, but you've given me this same look plenty of times in the past."

Quinn laughed quietly, turning the stove down.

"Do you like Quinn, Beth?" Judy asked, her sharp eyes mapping out every contour of Beth's face.

Beth nodded with a wide smile. "Yep."

"Well, that's just lovely," Judy murmured. "Can she walk, Quinn?"

"Put her down and watch her go," Quinn said with a fond smile.

Judy did just that. Beth stood still for a while, staring up at Judy as if affronted. Then, she turned around, arms darting out for balance as she walked around the kitchen without a care in the world. Judy followed after her with a laugh that sounded so completely ardent it took Quinn by surprise.

She sat down on a chair, watching Beth walk around and stare at everything in wonder. "How did you get her?"

Quinn turned the stove off completely, reaching up into the top cabinets for a bowl. "Shelby was upset over Rachel and having this odd meltdown, so I took Beth and—"

"Wait, hold on." Judy shifted in her chair, brow furrowing as she mumbled, "Shelby—she's who adopted Beth, right?"

Quinn walked around the stove and towards the table, sitting down the hot bowl of oatmeal. "Yeah." She walked over to Beth and scooped her up, placing kisses along Beth's face until she squealed and laughed.

"And when Rachel was crying about that whole play thing—" she gesticulated with her hands, "—you said that her mom was…Shelby." Judy's eyebrows pulled upwards. "Oh, dear…"

Quinn took one look at her and lowered her head, taking Beth's hands into her own and pressing their joined hands together to bless the food. Judy waited silently until the prayer was over. Quinn picked up a spoon full of hot oatmeal, dodging Beth as she leaned over to take it into her mouth and blowing gently over the food to cool it. "It's…complicated," she muttered as she placed the now cooled spoonful of food against Beth's lips. Beth ate it excitedly, humming an _mmm_ sound that made Quinn smile.

"So, Rachel's biological mother—"

"Achooooo," Beth called loudly.

Judy's head tilted with a bemused smile.

"That's how she says Rachel," Quinn answered stiltedly, feeding herself a spoonful of oatmeal that had Beth whining in displeasure. "What?" Quinn asked. "We can't share?"

"I want," was all Beth said.

Judy silently watched their interaction.

"Maybe you could use some codenames?" Quinn asked as she fed Beth another spoonful. "Beth knows everyone you're talking about and even though she probably can't understand—I still don't want her to hear any of this."

Judy nodded. "Right. So, _her_ mother," she said, referencing Rachel, "adopted…you know."

"That's basically it in a nutshell," Quinn sighed.

Judy stared, wide eyed. "It's a wonder all of you aren't in some kind of therapy right now."

"Fabray's don't do therapy," Quinn replied dryly.

Judy bit her lip in uncertainty and a hint of guilt. "Even still, Quinn, you're only eighteen and this has to be difficult," she said softly. "I know we're not the closest mother/daughter pair out there but...if you ever wanted to talk..."

Quinn nodded curtly, clearing her throat when a lump of emotion settled in it. "Anyway, like I said, it's complicated."

"Compeecate," Beth mimicked.

Quinn laughed. "I've said I don't know _how_ many words in the last several hours and that's the one you decide to pick up on?" She tickled Beth's now full, rounded belly until she laughed.

Beth looked up at her with a large grin. "Quinn compeecate."

Judy chortled heartily. "Isn't _that_ the truth?"

Quinn kissed her on the cheek and stood from the table, placing Beth gently on the floor. "I have to change clothes and get ready for school and stuff. You think you can watch her?"

"Quinn, I've raised two girls; I think I can handle watching after one for an hour or so," Judy answered as if offended.

"Okay." She leaned down to kiss Beth once more. "I'll be right back. Be nice to my mom, okay?"

Beth nodded and Quinn grabbed her phone from the baby bag and took to the stairs. She went to her room and stripped off her clothes from the night before, turning her phone on and letting it power up as she grabbed a dress from her closet. Once her phone was fully on, she dialed Shelby's phone number. The call was unsurprisingly picked up on the first ring.

"_Hello_?"

"Hey," was all Quinn said.

"_Where are you?_" Shelby hissed into the phone. "_Why am I just hearing from you and why don't I have your number? Is Beth okay? Answer a question, will you!_"

If Quinn ever wondered how Rachel and Shelby were similar, the mountain of questions that was just hurled at her answered her question.

"Chill," she gritted out. "I'm at home getting ready for school. Don't know why you didn't have my number, but I guess you have it now. Beth is perfectly fine; we'll be there in about forty or so minutes."

"_I have to be at McKinley in thirty minutes!_" Shelby shrieked into the phone.

Quinn winced at the sound, holding the phone a little further away. "Well, I suggest you call in and tell them you'll be a little late because I have to get myself ready for school and it's going to take a little while."

She heard Shelby sigh in frustration before she said, "_Just…hurry up._"

"Whatever." She pulled the phone away to end the call when she heard Shelby's barely there voice mumble, "_Thank you_."

When Quinn was dressed and ready to go, she ran back downstairs to find Judy and Beth grinning at one another.

"Ju—dy," Beth tried again, elongating the _u_ and _y_ sounds to Judy's amusement.

"That's exactly right," Judy said patiently. "You're a very smart girl."

Beth smiled as if she had heard the compliment enough times to know what it meant. Truth was, she probably did.

Quinn slung her school bag over her shoulder, grabbing Beth's bag and placing it on her shoulder as well. She turned towards her mother and daughter. It amazed her how into this Judy was. She actually looked like a _mother_, a _capable_ mother and Quinn didn't really know how to reconcile this with her own memories of how Judy used to be. "Ready to go, baby?" she asked Beth because seeing them interact, although heartwarming, was bizarre.

Beth walked over towards her and held up her arms. Quinn scooped her up with ease, kissing her on the cheek and accepting Beth's kiss in return. "I'll see you after school, mom."

"Bye, Quinn mo—Judy," Beth tossed over Quinn's shoulder as they made it to the door.

Judy's eyes softened as she watched her daughter and granddaughter walk out the door. "Bye, Beth."

Quinn held Beth close against the brisk cold as she walked towards the driver's side of the car, opening the back door. She sat Beth in her carseat, strapped her in, and deposited both their bags inside.

Quinn slid into the car with a bittersweet smile, remembering how hours ago, she was in the same position, only then she was taking Beth _with_ her instead of giving her back. She turned towards the back seat to smile at Beth. "Did you have fun with me?"

"Yes!" she said excitedly. "Love you, Quinn."

"I love you, too, baby." She started the car, feeling her eyes sting. "Boy, do I love you."


	27. Chapter 27

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **Happy New Years, everyone! Hope you all had fun and partied or spent time with the ones you love, what have you.

**A/N: **This chapter isn't that long, but took me so long to write because I wasn't sure how I wanted to finish it. This ending is short and _much_ less angsty than it was the first time I wrote it. You don't even want to know how it ended the first time, haha.

* * *

><p>School seemed to be flying by now and it was getting pretty hard to balance everything. Her grades were still impeccable, but she barely got her Yale application in on time and Regionals was creeping up on her faster than ever.<p>

It had been two days since she had spent the night with Rachel and Beth. Quinn was already feeling the void that having to return her daughter back to Shelby created. She had gotten the once in a lifetime opportunity to bond with the life she created, the baby she had brought into this world and it only cemented the bond that she and Beth shared, would always share. And to watch Rachel and Beth interact was one of the most amazing things she had ever witnessed.

The warning bell snared Quinn's attention and she peered into her locker, grabbing the necessary books she needed for her next class. She was so preoccupied with her own thoughts that she didn't even notice Puck coming from her right until he slammed her locker shut. She looked up into his eyes in shock and annoyance, his own eyes blazing angrily into hers. "What the hell was that for?" she hissed crossly.

His face contorted into a sneer that she had never before seen directed at her. "What the hell did you do to Shelby?"

"I didn't do anything!" she said loudly without a second thought. Then, she slumped back against her locker and looked around at the mob of people walking to and from class. She lowered her voice. "What are you talking about?" she enunciated with barely contained anger.

Puck pulled his backpack higher on his shoulder roughly. "She told me about how you left her in her kitchen crying and took Beth with you."

"Yeah, because she was a damn mess," Quinn replied tightly.

"Because of what you said to her!"

"No! Because of the fact that she's a shit mom to Rachel!"

Puck glowered down at her. "I'm sure _you_ had something to do with it. She was perfectly fine until you visited the house!"

A blonde eyebrow arched in curiosity. "How would you know?"

He sputtered and fumbled until pointing an accusatory finger at her, stepping closer until his shadow towered her. "What did you do to her?"

Her spine straightened at the threatening stance Puck had taken and she stood taller, growling at him, "She was practically falling apart on the kitchen floor and I was _not_ about to let my daughter see her go through that."

"_News flash_, Quinn," he growled right back, and in all the time Quinn had known him, he had never spoken to her that way. "She's not _your_ daughter."

Quinn was off the locker in an instant, taking a threatening step closer. "She _is_ my daughter; she's my flesh and blood. _I_ carried her, _I_ birthed her; she's mine!"

At her sharp retort, people around the hallway began to stir, some walking closer to get a better look. "Don't you _ever_ say any differ—"

"She's Shelby's daughter!" Puck roared back. "And you had no right taking her like that."

"Shelby said it was okay! And you know what? I kept her safe the entire night, which is more than what I could say if she had gone home with you!"

Puck quickly stepped forward until they were practically nose to nose. "I am a _good _father and I would have kept her safe! Besides, none of this would have happened if you hadn't provoked Shelby!"

Quinn looked up into his eyes, not backing down even as the crowd around them seemed to double in size. She pitched her voice lower, growling, "She locked me out of that fucking house when I came to see my daughter; then tried to blame the fact that Rachel wanted nothing to do with her on _me_. She deserves whatever meltdown she went through that night. And by the way," she began coldly, "don't you ever again tell me I'm not her mother then turn around and call yourself the father, you Lima Loser."

She felt a hand wrap around her arm softly and flinched at the contact. Looking down, Quinn saw nothing but big, worried brown eyes as Rachel softly tugged on her arm. "Let's go, Quinn. Don't do this here."

"You need to back off of her," Puck hissed and Quinn's cold gaze snapped back to his immediately.

"And if I don't?" she challenged with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Rachel tugged harder on her arm until Quinn snatched away from her grip. Worried, her gaze darted from Quinn to Puck. "Noah, please walk away; there's an entire crowd formed around you guys. Please just let it go for now."

Puck looked down at Rachel briefly before looking back to Quinn. "Leave my family alone," he said with finality.

Quinn stared at him in confusion for a few seconds until it finally clicked. The time she saw Puck at Shelby's house shirtless, the time a few weeks ago when he wanted to ask her about his sex life. It all clicked together and her face showed the disgust she felt for him in that moment. "You're fucking her," she growled irately, jabbing a finger into his chest.

Rachel reached out to grab Quinn again, but stumbled back a step with wide, disbelieving eyes as she whirled around to face Puck. "_What_?" she shrieked incredulously. "You're _what_?"

His spine straightened at the accusation but with everyone around them, he neither confirmed nor denied it.

"Answer me," Quinn prodded.

"What Shelby and I have is special," he hissed. "And I won't let you drive her crazy just because you're jealous of the relationship she has with Beth."

"So, you're just going to—"

"Alright, break it up, people! Nothing to see!" Quinn heard Santana called loudly as she worked her way through the crowd. "Get lost, losers!"

Santana bossed her way through the crowd. She pushed Rachel out of the way and curled her hand around Quinn's arm, tugging harshly. "Let me go!" Quinn snarled.

"Get your damn business out of this hallway, Q," Santana said in a surprisingly calm, though irritated, voice. Quinn regarded her coldly for a moment before snatching her arm away. She looked at Rachel, then Puck, then walked down the hallway.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel called from behind her. She ran down the hallway to catch up with her, having no idea what the hell she just witnessed. Apparently her girlfriend and Puck weren't on good terms anymore and Puck was having sex with her mothe—Shelby? Her stomach churned in apprehension as she walked in step with Quinn. "What just happened?"

Quinn kept silent as she walked down the hallway. Rachel huffed in aggravation. Here she was again, on the outside looking in as something was happening between two people that used to mean something to her, and the one person that meant the most to her. She grabbed Quinn's arm and when darkened hazel eyes rounded on her, Rachel pulled her into the empty classroom they were about to walk past. She closed the door quietly and watched as Quinn began to pace around the room. "Talk to me," Rachel coaxed softly.

She heard a quiet huff before Quinn turned around to face her. Rachel noticed she looked just as confused as she herself felt. "Puck and Shelby are hooking up," Quinn told her.

Rachel inhaled sharply. She had surmised as much when she caught the tail end of Quinn and Puck's conversation but to hear it explained to her in the silence of the classroom they were in caused her stomach to flip in disgust.

"He's been fucking that bitch—"

"Quinn," Rachel cut in sharply, mildly offended to her own surprise.

"Sorry," Quinn mumbled, turning away from Rachel to start pacing again. She felt so stupid. All of the signs were right in her face and she hadn't even taken the time to piece it all together. "I should have seen this coming."

Rachel looked on in confusion as Quinn continued to pace, mumbling things to herself every now and again. She walked over to a desk and slid smoothly into the seat as she watched Quinn walk back and forth. Knowing that her mother and ex-boyfriend were hooking up was…strange. Rachel couldn't necessarily say that it hurt, because she no longer cared for Puck and was seemingly caring less and less about Shelby the more she heard about her, but the situation she now found herself in was far from ideal.

"I can't believe he's hooking up with her," she heard Quinn grumble.

Rachel edged forward in her seat, scared to ask the question that was starting to push itself to the forefront of her mind. "Do you-are you upset about this because you have feeling for—"

"Don't start," Quinn growled, eyes finding Rachel sharply. She could feel her blood boil more hotly at the mere question.

Rachel sat back in her seat with a barely there nod. That was all the confirmation she was going to get on the issue.

Quinn stood there for a few seconds more, motionless, before her feet kick started into motion. "I gotta go," she tossed brusquely over her shoulder.

Rachel shot up in an instant. "W-where are you going?" she asked worriedly, reluctant to let Quinn go anywhere when she was this wound up.

Quinn walked out the door without an explanation.

* * *

><p>She barged right into Shelby's room without warning, muttering gruffly, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't turn you in to the police."<p>

Shelby's spine straightened at the comment as she turned around to find Quinn standing just a few feet away from the closed classroom door. Her arms crossed absentmindedly, defensively as she took in Quinn's rigid posture, stormy eyes, and the sneer that curled her lips in disdain. She sighed, slumping back against her desk, looking years older than she was. "For starters: what are you talking about?"

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid," she snapped, walking closer. "How long have you been hooking up with Puck?"

"You need to calm dow—"

"Is this family dynamic _not_ already fucked up enough for you?" Quinn challenged with a hate-filled frown. "The woman that adopted _my_ baby is my girlfriend's mother. The idiot boy that knocked me up also dated my girlfriend and now—" she shook her head, "—now you want to complicate that _more_ by fucking Puck? Are there not enough bachelors your own age _Ms_. Corcoran?"

For some reason, her last comment hit home in a big way and Quinn took pleasure in watching the frown on Shelby's face deepen with some unnamed emotion.

"I'm calling the police."

"Puck is eighteen," Shelby defended.

"Then I'm getting you fired," Quinn concluded with a toss of her hand. "I'm sure there's some policy about not dating students."

Shelby pushed off the desk to stand on her own two feet. She took measured steps closer until she was right in front of Quinn. "If you're that vindictive that you feel the need to make my life miserable just because I have the one thing you lack, then my all means."

Quinn scoffed. "The one thing? Seems like you've been trying to _be_ me since you stepped foot in Lima. You already took my baby, then you tried to take Rachel under your wing, and now what? Now you're having sex with Puck whenever the mood strikes." Quinn stepped closer, peering up at Shelby. "Trust me, you don't want my problems. My life isn't as great as you seem to think it is."

"It isn't all about you," Shelby spat. "It isn't about you at all. Trust _me_, I don't think about you nearly as much as you seem to have deluded yourself into thinking."

"Then why the hell are you sleeping with Puck?"

Shelby's hip cocked outwards. "Do you want him?"

"I love Rachel," Quinn replied tersely. "You know I do."

"Then what I have with Puck is none of your business." She held Quinn's gaze for a few more seconds before turning around, almost daring Quinn to do something behind her back as she walked further into her room.

Quinn walked closer still. "It's my business when what you're doing is affecting the people I love."

Shelby looked over at her. Then her gaze dropped to the floor when she quietly said, "Look, what Puck and I did, it was a mistake. And now he," she laughed hollowly at how ludicrous this situation was, "he thinks he's in love. And I don't have the heart to break his." Her eyes steeled over as she looked back up at Quinn with finality. "Do what you feel you have to do, Quinn."

"I will," Quinn assured snidely. She waved a hand around the room, telling Shelby, "Pack your shit up," before storming out.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat perched atop her bed, sifting through pages in her Spanish textbook for her upcoming oral exam. The more pages she flipped through, however, the more her mind kept winding back to her encounter with Quinn and Puck in the hallway. The shock of knowing Shelby and Puck were shacking up still hadn't worn off and the more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable she became.<p>

For someone that was the only real adult in the situation, Shelby had handled this entire year up until this point so poorly. Granted, Rachel could imagine how difficult it must have been to deal with Quinn sometimes—her girlfriend was often as stubborn as a bull and packed as much force as one. But even still, the common denominator of both hers and Quinn's problems this year was Shelby. And now Puck was being dragged into the mix in an already muddled family dynamic. None of this was necessary and the more Rachel dwelled on it, the angrier she became.

She sighed in aggravation and closed her textbook with enough force to knock off a slight edge of her anger but not to completely assuage it. There was a swift knock to the door and her head whirled around to the wooden plane with concentration. "Come in."

The door creaked open and Hiram popped his head around the corner. Rachel almost smiled at how silly he looked, all balding head and thick framed glasses. "Hi, dad," she mumbled.

Hiram smiled in concern, walking further into the room. "Hey, sweetheart. You okay? Your dad and I are worried about you; you walked in today without speaking, stormed up to your room and slammed the door."

That was a pretty apt description of what her actions had been about forty minutes ago. She sighed tiredly, rubbing at her eyes as her father edged closer to sit down on the bed beside her. "I'm sorry, dad."

"Is something the matter?"

She looked up into her father's eyes. She was so used to him and Leroy taking all the pain away when she was younger. But she was a senior now and she had tried so hard all year to handle her issues by herself because she felt like an adult now. But as she stared into Hiram's eyes, she felt her own begin to well up and she just wanted him to make it all go away like he always did.

"Dad, I—"

Her doorknob turned and the door was rapidly opened. Rachel's sentence died in her throat as she looked to the door to find Quinn standing there, a wild look of reckless determination in her eyes. Her eyes were directly on Rachel as she walked in, only seeing Hiram right before she opened her mouth. Quinn halted awkwardly, hand lifting to halfheartedly wave at him. "Hello, Hiram," she said politely. "Hey, Rachel."

Rachel exhaled a slow breath, grateful to see her girlfriend after the rollercoaster day they had both had.

"Hey there, Quinn," he greeted, eyes darting from Quinn to Rachel as he picked up on some form of tension in the room. "Is there something wrong?"

Rachel turned to Hiram. "Dad, can we have a moment, please?"

"But you had something you needed to tell me," he protested.

"Dad, please," she pleaded, eyes drifting to Quinn's rigid posture. She was about two seconds away from what looked like an explosion of catastrophic proportions.

Hiram's eyes pinched as he looked between the two of them. He rose reluctantly from the bed, slowly walking towards the door. "We're talking about this when Quinn leaves," he said pointedly, eyeing the two of them again before walking out the door. Rachel sat up straighter against her headboard of her bed, watching worriedly as Quinn closed the door once Hiram was downstairs. She turned back and Rachel felt dread settle in her stomach as anger more clearly shown in Quinn's eyes.

Rachel hazarded a question. "How are you, Quinn?"

"I'm going to tell Principal Figgins what she did," Quinn stated plainly, anger in check but barely.

"Hold on, Quinn. Are you even sure Shelby and Noah are sleeping together?" Rachel asked, voice pitched low as if her fathers could hear her over her soundproof walls. "You know Noah sometimes likes to embellish."

"Are you kidding me?" Quinn shot back incredulously. "Why the hell would he lie about fucking some lonely—"

"Quinn!"

She inhaled a deep breath, trying to control herself. "I showed up to her house one time and he answered the door shirtless. Then Shelby came to the door in nothing but a robe and," Quinn gestured wildly, "she had sex hair!" Her blood was boiling at the look on doubt on Rachel's face and she flung her jacket off, tossing it carelessly onto the bed. She felt feverish with rage, thinking about the ways Shelby constantly fucked up and all the ways she could have been a better mother for Beth.

Rachel slowly stood from the bed, not wanting to startle Quinn when she was in such a rattled state. "Quinn, baby, listen to me," she coaxed. "What Shelby did—though morally wrong. She should feel bad for it for the rest of her life—was _not_ illegal or anything, so there's really no need to act so hastily."

"Do you not see what she's doing?" Quinn growled angrily. "Beth already has a fucked up family. You're technically her adopted sister, I'm her mother, and we're together. And now Shelby's fucking her father? The same guy that got me pregnant? Does no one have a problem with this shitty dynamic but me?"

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, filtering out all the unnecessary curse words in that sentence and only paying attention to the bare essentials. Really, smoking wasn't the only bad habit Quinn had picked up from the Skanks. She took a step closer, trying to reason with her. "Quinn, you can't simply have Shelby fired, okay? This job is her livelihood and something like fooling around with Noah could follow her from job to job and that reputation won't get her hired. Then who will care for Beth? Shelby's her mother and—"

"I'm her mother," Quinn replied forcefully, stepping closer as if to get her point across.

Rachel said nothing for a long time. She rubbed her arm nervously, eyes falling to the carpet on her floors as she quietly said, "The law recognizes Shelby as Beth's mother, so—"

"But you agree that I'm her mother," Quinn interrupted. "Right?"

There was a sliver of vulnerability in her voice and all Rachel wanted to do was reassure her, but she couldn't really see how. Yes, Quinn had given birth to Beth…the same way Shelby had given birth to Rachel and if anyone knew that simple biology did not a parent make, it was Rachel. Hiram and Leroy were her parents despite the fact that one of them—she didn't know _which_ one and she appreciated the mystery—wasn't her biological father, she still wholeheartedly considered them both to be her fathers. And…as much as she hated to admit it, Shelby really _was_ Beth's mother in the same right and Leroy and Hiram were her own fathers.

She reached out an arm to draw Quinn closer. "Baby—"

Quinn jerked back violently like she had been stung. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, eyes darting around in her head as she tried her best to process this. It felt like two giant puzzle pieces in her head that didn't connect correctly. "Y-you don't?" she released in a pained whisper. "You don't think I'm her mother?"

"No, Quinn, it's not that." But it _was_ that and as Rachel stared at the confused pain on her girlfriend's face, she kind of wished her own upbringing had been different so that she could better side with Quinn. But it wasn't and she couldn't. That didn't mean she couldn't sympathize, even empathize as her heart broke at the sight of hazel eyes misting over.

Quinn's shoulders pulled taut with renewed anger at Rachel's audacity to insinuate that she wasn't the mother of the life she created. She jabbed a finger into her own chest, snarling, "She's _my_ baby, Rachel. _I_ carried her for nine months, _I_ made the decision to _keep_ her." Her lips trembled as her voice shook because Rachel _knew_ what type of upbringing she had. She _knew_ how embarrassing it was for Quinn to have to walk around, swollen belly and stretch marks but Quinn endured it because she wasn't willing to kill the life she created. "I gave _birth_ to the child that you seem to think Shelby is the mother of!"

Rachel nodded hurriedly. "I know—"

"_No_!" Quinn shouted, voice strained and words clipped. "You obviously _don't_ know because if you did, you wouldn't think Shelby was the mother!"

"Quinn, the law recognizes Shelby as the mother," Rachel told her.

"I don't give a damn about the law! I give a damn about you and apparently, you disagree with me!"

"Shelby has taken care of Beth for nearly two years!" Rachel cried.

"And I gave birth to her!"

"But you gave her up," Rachel said, voicing her thoughts softly to try to bring Quinn back down to earth. "Quinn, this is in no way downplaying how amazing you are with her, but—"

"Would you just stop projecting your own problems with Shelby on this for _once_?" Quinn snapped. "We all get that you have your own hang ups; but don't try to turn me into your mother." Her voice dripped with scorn and Rachel took a step back at the pinched expression on Quinn's face. Quinn only stepped forward until they were face to face. "I am a damn good mother."

Rachel forced herself to meet Quinn's eyes as she hovered over her. It was an intimidation tactic. One she knew well from days when Quinn was her bully, not her girlfriend. And though she wasn't scared, she found it becoming increasingly difficult to hold her own ground.

Hesitantly, Rachel reached up with both hands, cupping Quinn's cheeks. She rose on the tips of her toes to stare her square in the eye, whispering, "I am in no way negating how wonderful you are with Beth. I saw it firsthand, Quinn. You were kind, gentle, and tentative to _all_ of her needs. And I don't doubt for one second that you'll make a wonderful mother one day."

Quinn's lips trembled and Rachel's heart ached all the more at having to be the one to tell her this. "But, baby, legally speaking, Shelby is Beth's mother. And I can't let you tell on her because you're blinded by your anger right now and you aren't thinking clearly." She stroked away the tear that had just fallen from Quinn's eye. "If you tell on Shelby she'll get fired. Then how will she provide for Beth?"

Quinn pulled away from her then. Rachel closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and hoping Quinn hadn't taken what she said the wrong way. When she opened her eyes again, Quinn's face had completely smoothed over, hiding the hurt she undoubtedly felt save for the tear streaks on her face. "I'm not her mother?" she said softly. Her voiced pitched as if to transform what was a statement into a question. Then she nodded to herself, her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips as she took a couple steps back. Rachel followed but a pale hand rising in her direction halted her steps.

Quinn staggered backwards a few more steps until there was a couple of feet between them. Everything in Rachel's room blurred and blended together as the tears in her eyes became the only filter. "I get that Shelby takes care of her, but…I birthed her."

Rachel's jaw clenched against any words that were crawling up her throat. She withheld them, trying to allow Quinn to work through this herself but the tears in her girlfriend's eyes were calling out to her instincts to console her whenever something was wrong.

Quinn stepped back slowly, her eyes on Rachel's shoes rather than her face. All of a sudden she felt cold, distant from the world around her. She grabbed her coat lightly as if any harsh move was going to shatter her completely. She wasn't a mother. She didn't have a daughter and she really didn't know how to process this information right now.

Rachel jolted forward when Quinn grabbed her jacket. "Quinn, where are you going?" she asked for the second time that day.

A response wasn't forthcoming as Quinn jabbed her arms into the sleeves of her coat, motions jerky and robotic. Her chest felt like it was caving in and every breath she took felt laborious and painful. She felt a hand touch her arm and jerked back from it instantly, an icy scowl on her face.

"Quinn, talk to me, please," Rachel begged as her arm curled back towards her body. Her own eyes welled with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. She didn't mean to hurt her. "Please talk to me."

Rachel's voice was starting to annoy her and that was when Quinn knew it was time to go before she said something she'd regret. She turned towards the door.

"Quinn, wait," Rachel begged as she reached out and grabbed her arm again.

Quinn turned around slowly, and Rachel's blood ran cold at the emotionless look on her face. "Don't touch me," Quinn said evenly. "Not right now."

Reluctantly, Rachel released the hold she had on her arm. They both stood there for a second, Rachel pleading with wide eyes for Quinn to stay and Quinn looking angrily at the floor. Finally Quinn twisted the doorknob and walked out without another word.

Rachel watched her go. She stood there for a long moment, wishing Quinn was there. Eventually her feet dragged her to her bed and she slumped against it, wiping her eyes.

She hated that she had to be the one to put that haunted look on Quinn's face. She couldn't believe she had to be the one to broach such a sensitive subject like that to her. But it was the only conceivable way Rachel saw to make Quinn understand that if she told on Shelby the consequences wouldn't be worth it.

There was a light knock at her door and Rachel looked up to find Hiram and Leroy standing in her doorway. They took one look her and immediately walked towards her. "Honey, are you alright?" Hiram asked tentatively as he sat down in front of her. Leroy stood beside the bed, crossing his arms as his eyes zeroed in on the tears on her face.

"Does this have anything to do with Quinn?" Leroy asked. "Did she hurt you?"

She inhaled a shuddery breath, clinging to Hiram when he wrapped a supportive arm around her. "No, daddy," she said morosely. "I think I was the one that hurt her."

* * *

><p>When Quinn pulled into the driveway, she sat there, using the mirror on the sun visor in her car to improve her disheveled appearance. After a moment, she just gave up. Her eyes were puffy, red rimmed, and she had tears old and new tracking down her face. She just didn't have the energy to keep up an appearance in front of her mother at the moment. She opened the door and climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut and walking towards the house.<p>

The door was opened just as she made it there and Judy stood in the doorway, her worried expression worsening as she regarded Quinn. She stood back and ushered Quinn inside, closing the door behind her. "I heard you pull up the driveway, and then when I didn't hear you come in, I came to the door." She grabbed Quinn and pulled her back when she tried to leave. Judy grabbed her chin, lifting her face until she could see the tears in her eyes. "Oh, Quinn," she lamented, having no idea how to even handle this situation. Quinn didn't cry often and when she did, it was in private. "What's happened?"

It surprised even Quinn herself when she landed in Judy's arms. Her head rested against her shoulder for comfort like she hadn't done in years. And she cried, feeling like a blubbering fool as hiccupping sobs wracked her body. She mourned for the daughter that she had given up and would never have again. Her heart ached in a way it never had before and she clutched Judy tighter, trying to steal some of her warmth, feeling cold inside.

Judy only held her tighter, looking out of sorts both at the sight and feel of her daughter crying in her arms and her own feeling of helplessness. She licked her lips nervously, wishing she had had more experience with this. "Quinnie, what's wrong?"

"I'm not her _mother_," fell from Quinn's lips in an anguished cry, muffled by the shoulder she had buried her face in to.

Judy rubbed her back soothingly, shushing her sobs so that she could better understand her. "What do you mean?"

Her chest kept heaving with uneven breaths and Judy panicked mildly, wondering if her daughter was about to go into hysterics. "_Shelby_ is her mom," Quinn said a moment later, voice dripping with sad vulnerability and aged scorn in a way only Quinn could pull off. "I—she—I—" she hiccupped a breath, trying to gather her words and wiping furiously at her eyes until they hurt. Judy grabbed the arm that was wedged between them, pulling it away from Quinn's face.

"Stop it," she chastised. She pulled Quinn back, cupping her face in her hands. She looked so much like the five year old daughter Judy once knew that cried over everything and it broke her heart to see her this way, to see tears that had built up over the past two years spill down her cheeks with vengeance. "Pretty girls shouldn't cry but…" she smiled a little, "you're pretty when you cry so I'll allow it."

Quinn choked out a sob, unsure how to even respond to such a shallow comment. Another choked sob left her and she stared down at the floor, ashamed to have her mother see her cry.

"What's going on, Quinn?" Judy asked quietly. "Why aren't you her mother?"

"Because _Shelby_ is!" she cried. "I'm _never_ going to have her the way that I want her!"

"Then just have her the way that you _can_," Judy countered softly. "Quinn, _you_ were the one to give life to such a beautiful baby. She'll always be yours where it should matter to you most."

She rubbed tiredly at her eyes, muttering, "But the law doesn't recognize me as her mother."

"And I think that you should respect that. Quinn, she has a mother that—from what I've gathered—although aloof towards Rachel, loves Beth with all her heart." Judy's eyes softened as she looked at her daughter. "What more could you ask for? When you gave Beth up, you did so because you wanted her to have a good life. And now she has that."

She scoffed bitterly. "I gave Beth up because you allowed my father to kick me out on the street and I couldn't provide for her."

Judy took the snide comment in stride, swallowing a lump of emotion down her throat. "I did," she agreed quietly. "And I'm sorry. I'm trying the best way I know how to make it up to you." She wiped a tear from Quinn's cheek. "One of the things I admire most about you is your adaptability, Quinn. Russell and I, we've been stuck in our ways for so long. It took me twenty years to finally understand how to be a mother to you and Frannie and, when I did, I had already lost Frannie. But I'm trying with you; I really am."

Her words sounded so heartfelt and sincere that Quinn couldn't help but cry harder, burying her face in Judy's shoulder all over again. Judy's arms wrapped around her a little more surely than they had a few moments before. "You are so much smarter and much more selfless than I was at your age, Quinn." She scoffed at herself. "You're more selfless than I am _no__w_. What you did for Beth was the best thing for her and, though I can't imagine how much it hurts you, continue to let her have this. _She_ needs it because Shelby's all she's ever known."

It hurt even more to allow those words to sink in. Words that she didn't want to hear. Had it been anything else, Quinn would have fought to the death without a second thought of the repercussions. But this was about Beth, _her_ daughter—no matter what anyone said—and what was best for her. And when taking that into account, she found that she had to resign. She slumped against Judy and cried until there were no tears left.


	28. Chapter 28

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**A huge thank you to those that are still kicking it with this story and reading and reviewing. Your love is appreciated and reciprocated. :)

* * *

><p>An alarm clock woke her up before the sun and she quite literally punched it clear across her nightstand; it clanked loudly to the floor. The small lump under the blankets didn't move for another five or so minutes. Then, finally, Quinn sighed and stretched her legs along the foot of the bed, turning her back from her nightstand to lie facing the window. Sleep didn't come easy last night but when it did, her body lavished in the break it received from such a hellish day prior. Her thoughts were out of sorts, there was a dull ache in her chest that kept growing with each second she remained awake and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep for an insurmountable amount of time.<p>

No one ever told the truth about _Sleeping_ _Beauty_. She didn't sleep because she was cursed and so a prince could save her; she really slept because she was fucking depressed. That was how Quinn was feeling. So she curled her legs back up under her and drew her arms into her chest, her hands resting under her chin as she inhaled a shuddery breath. All she needed was sleep.

She wondered if this was what older mothers felt like upon realization that their nests were empty. Their children were gone and there was a possibility they would never see them again. Except, Quinn reasoned, they at least had the luxury of raising their children and seeing them day after day—they weren't issued visitation rights like some prisoner.

It bothered her most that everyone seemed to feel the same way. Rachel, Judy, Puck, and of course Shelby—none of them saw her as Beth's mother and she felt disrespected and helpless. Hell even Beth didn't think she was her mother. Her own child didn't even recognize how closely they were related because she had given her up and the opportunity to be in her life the way she wanted would be forever lost.

And then Rachel, Rachel, the one person she trusted to always have her back basically told her what all the others were saying. No one was on her side and the lonesome feeling, though not unfamiliar, was daunting.

There was a swift knock to the door and her only response was a groan of protest as Judy opened the door and walked inside. She must have forgotten to lock it last night before she ran to her room and sulked.

"Quinn?" Judy tentatively called out to her.

She didn't answer, eyes clenched shut as she felt tears coming.

The mattress shifted as Judy sat down, staring at the lump under a mound of covers. The only thing that could be seen was a mop of blonde hair sticking out. She reached out and combed her fingers through it with a fondness Quinn hadn't felt in a long time. "It's time for school," she said quietly.

Quinn slowly turned around, unconsciously leaning into her mother's hand as she looked up at her. "I don't want to go," she rasped, voice thick with sleep and raw from all the crying she had done yesterday.

Judy frowned sadly at her. "Quinn, you've already missed a lot of days this year. If your collegiate future were already set in stone, I'd say yes in a heartbeat, but it's not. If you want to get into Yale or even NYU then you need to have good attendance along with your good grades."

She looked up at her mother, eyes wide with tears caught on her eyelashes. A year ago, she wouldn't have been caught dead allowing her mother to see her like this. "I can't—I don't want to see anybody. Please."

There was a sigh that made Quinn close her tear filled eyes tiredly. "At least go to homeroom," Judy told her. "Sign in for the day so you'll at least be on the roll then…you can come back here if you don't feel up to being in school. But this is only for today, Quinn, and only because it's Friday. You have a long weekend to recover but come Monday, I want you back in school."

"Okay," she sighed, slumping back against the covers for a few more minutes. Judy smoothed her hair back affectionately before standing up and slipping silently out of the room.

* * *

><p>It was difficult avoiding three people in school, but made easier for Quinn when she didn't have to stop at her locker. She hit the stairs in a jog, trying to get to homeroom as fast as possible so her teacher could take roll and dismiss the students to their first class of the day, in which Quinn would make her hasty exit. When she crossed the threshold of the room, she breathed easier, sliding into a seat and staring hard at her hands braced on the wooden desks.<p>

She was at least glad her mother wasn't making her spend the entire day at school because—as Quinn tried her best and failed to tune out the unnecessary noise of her peers around her—she found that she really needed space and time most of all. She needed something to take her mind off the entire situation instead of wallowing in the bed all day crying. And she knew the exact people that could help her right now.

She instantly pulled out her phone, sending out a message to Mack.

_**Are you at school?**_

Roll was called rather quickly and when the bell rang, Quinn found she didn't even have to pack anything up. With her phone clutched tightly like a lifeline in her grip, she stood up and walked out of class. She ran back down the stairs, down the hallway. When she made it to the door, her phone buzzed with a text message.

_**outside by our usual spot**_

Quinn immediately turned the corner to walk towards the back of the school where the football field and bleachers were.

_**I'm on the way.**_

She grabbed the handle of the exit door and pushed it to walk outside.

"Quinn?"

The hesitant softness of the voice calling her name made her shoulders tense. She sighed quietly, turning halfway to find Rachel slowly approaching her. The strap of her bag was held tightly in her hands in nervousness as she took slow steps, as if approaching a wild animal that could dart away at any moment. Rachel came to a stop directly in front of her, dying to touch her and to be closer. "H-how are you today?"

Quinn's gaze darted away from worried brown eyes. "I'm fine," she said shortly.

Rachel frowned at the obvious lie. "Can we talk? I was really worried when you left last night, but I'm glad you're okay. I called Judy to make sure you made it home safely." She bit her lip in uncertainty when Quinn met her eyes. "Please? I just miss you."

"Rachel, can I just have some time?" Quinn asked quietly. "I have all this…stuff and I just need—" she tossed a hand up in exasperation. "I don't _really_ know what I need, but this," she gestured between them, "is not it right now, okay? Don't cry," she finished when she immediately saw Rachel's eyes well up.

"How can I not?" Rachel whimpered. "You just said you wanted nothing to do with me."

"No," Quinn punctuated. "I just said I want a little space right now because I—Rachel, just give me some space, please." She pushed on the door in impatience.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked as she looked to the door creaking open slightly before closing again.

"To hang out with some friends for a little while."

"Those Skanks?" she asked incredulously. "You'd rather spend time with them than me?"

Quinn puffed out a breath. "This isn't about you," she said quietly, reminding Rachel of when Quinn had uttered those exact words to her on the first day of school. "This is about me and right now I want space for a couple of hours."

"You say that, but you're going to spend time with other people." Rachel wiped at her eyes in aggravation, hating that she was crying over Quinn when Quinn didn't even want to spend time with her.

Quinn walked closer. She wrapped her hand around the back of Rachel's neck and guided her closer until she was resting against her shoulder. Her eyes immediately focused past them to the people in the hallway, grateful that aside form a few stares, everyone seemed to be largely focused on getting to class or talking to each other. Rachel's arms wrapped around her waist tightly, nails digging into her back as if to keep her right where she was. "Stop taking everything so personally," Quinn told her.

Rachel nuzzled into her shoulder softly. "Can I come over after glee today?" She felt Quinn tense in her arms and only tightened her hold on her as tears stung her eyes.

Quinn bit her top lip unsurely, finally murmuring, "Can you come over tomorrow instead?"

Her shoulders sagged against Quinn before she nodded reluctantly. She pulled back, eyes glistening as she regarded Quinn sadly. "Are you punishing me for yesterday? Is that what this is about?"

"Rachel, it's not—"

"I'm sorry, okay?" she whispered. "I really am, but I couldn't allow you to rat Shelby out. But I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Quinn cupped her cheek, wiping a tear away. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Rachel's forehead. Rachel's eyes slipped shut with a small whimper of relief at the contact. "I'm not mad at you. I just…I feel weird. And I really just want to take myself out of this whole situation for a few hours. Can you allow me that?"

It was a rhetorical question because Quinn was going to walk out of that door regardless and they both knew it. "I'm coming over tomorrow," Rachel grumbled.

"Tomorrow," Quinn agreed.

Rachel wrapped her arms tighter around her. "Can you hold me back?" She felt arms instantly wrap around her shoulders a second later and sighed into Quinn's shoulder. They were going to be okay for the most part. "I love you, okay?"

Quinn pressed a kiss to her temple. "I love you, too."

After another moment of being pressed up against Quinn as much as she could, Rachel reluctantly let her go. "Call me?"

Quinn nodded before walking out the door.

Rachel pressed her hands against her face with a weary sigh, feeling more tears crowd her eyes. Sometimes she felt like she was too sensitive for her own good. She took a deep breath and walked down the hallway to Shelby's office. She knocked on the door firmly and waited.

A moment later Shelby opened the door and stared down at her, her expression blank with a hint of trouble squinting her eyes. "Hello, Rachel," she stated plainly, voice lacking any form of warmth.

"Hello." She took in Shelby's sagged shoulders with a hint of sympathy, sighing quietly. "Look, I just came here to tell you that Quinn won't be telling Principal Figgins."

Shelby frowned suspiciously. "Why?"

"Because she," her lips turned down as she remembered the conversation she had with Quinn yesterday, "she decided not to tell on you."

Shelby crossed her arms over her chest, her tense expression loosening with relief. "Tell her I said thank you."

"She didn't do it for you," Rachel told her. "She did it because she loves Beth more than you and I will ever know and would never do anything to hurt her."

An embarrassed look crossed Shelby's face before she took a step back. "Well, I—thank you." She rubbed her arm with a nervous smile. "How have you been?"

"And just so you know," Rachel prefaced, ignoring the question entirely because she was _not_ going to do this again, "what you're doing could hurt Beth in the long run. And it could hurt Noah, too."

She spun around on her heel and left without a goodbye, taking a deep breath, relieved that it didn't hurt.

* * *

><p>Mack took one look at her and scoffed. "What the fuck are you wearing?"<p>

Quinn stood on her doorstep, dressed in a loose black cotton shirt with the sleeves cut off, the tattered jeans with the paint stains Rachel loved, and her black combat boots. She shrugged lightly. "I guess I felt like one of you guys today?"

"You felt like a Skank?" Mack asked dubiously.

Her teeth gritted in annoyance. "You gonna let me in or not?"

"Geez, okay, come in." She stepped aside and Quinn slipped inside. "What's got your underwear in a bunch today?" Mack asked as she closed the door.

Quinn looked around the living room, noting nothing much had changed since she had last been in it weeks ago. It felt good to have that stability at least. "Nothing." She plopped down on the plaid couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table.

Mack sat down beside her with a frown. She reached out carefully, rubbing Quinn's back. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"You wanna make out about it?"

Quinn chuckled with a roll of her eyes, shoving Mack away. "No, _Mackenzie_."

It was like nails on a chalkboard and Mack recoiled, glaring at Quinn. "Don't call me that."

There was a knock on the door before the doorknob was turned and opened, Ronnie and Sheila walking inside. Quinn whopped Mack on the shoulder. "Don't you ever lock your door?"

"Ouch," Mack complained as she rubbed her shoulder, gaze darting from Ronnie and Sheila walking in to Quinn. "Sometimes I don't. What of it?"

"Lock your damn door from now on," Quinn growled. "Did you forget where you live?"

"No, but I think you've forgotten since you haven't been around for a while," Ronnie quipped as she sat down. "Seriously, has being away from us turned you into a pussy?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Fuck you."

"Speaking of pussy, are you and that girl still together?" Mack asked.

"Her name is _Rachel_," Quinn stated pointedly. "And yes, we are still together."

"Lame."

Ronnie nodded, impressed. "This long and you've managed to _not_ fuck it up? Way to go, Quinn."

They all laughed and Mack nudged her in the ribs just to annoy Quinn more as she glared at everyone around the room. "Whatever," she finally grumbled.

Sheila sat forward in her seat. "How is your daughter doing?"

Quinn pursed her lips in mild annoyance. She had come here to avoid dealing with the past couple days of her life and of course someone would bring it up unwittingly anyway. She sat back in her seat, crossed her legs and ran a hand raggedly down her face. "Beth is fine," she replied shortly.

Everyone did little more than nod, understanding that something was wrong though they didn't know what.

Mack sat forward, cracking her knuckles as she looked over everyone in the room. She stretched her hands, standing up and wiping them on her jeans. "I want a sandwich," she grumbled.

"Can you fix me one?" Ronnie asked.

"Make that two," Sheila piped up.

Quinn smiled slightly at Mack's undeniable ability to change the subject with little effort. "I'll…help, I guess." She stood up and followed Mack into the kitchen. Mack grabbed the bread on the counter and Quinn grabbed some ham and cheese from the refrigerator, sliding in beside her on the counter. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Mack nodded, laying the slices of bread out on three separate napkins. "What's going on with you? You haven't visited for weeks and now that you have, you reek of failure and depression. Didn't get into college?"

Immediately Quinn straightened, remembering that today was the day she was going to hear back from OSU. She took out slices of ham, placing them on the slices of bread Mack had put out. "That's not it," she told her. Though _now_ she was admittedly a little worried about college. OSU was a given, but NSU and Yale were certainly more unsure cases.

"Then what's the deal? Rachel treating you like shit?"

She sighed. "I'm the one acting like an ass right now."

"Why?"

Quinn shrugged. "I just feel weird. Family stuff," she whispered, remembering how she had never told her friends about the interesting family dynamic she and Rachel were involved in. "Speaking of family," she said to deflect, "how have you and your brother been dealing with your father around?"

This time Mack shrugged, placing another slice of bread on the three sandwiches. "We're dealing. All you can do in life, you know?"

Quinn laughed hollowly. "Trust me, I know." It was one of the things she loved most about her three friends. They all knew how to survive one way or another. Just like her.

They grabbed the sandwiches and walked out of the kitchen. Quinn handed one to Sheila and Mack handed one to Ronnie before they both sat down. Quinn fished the remote from under the couch and flicked the TV on, turning to the _The Ellen Degeneres Show_ before Sheila had the chance to throw a fit.

"Good shit," Sheila said with a head nod.

Quinn kicked her feet on the table again and settled back into the couch. She picked at the paint splotches on her jeans, wondering where the hell to go from here. All she knew was that she wanted to get the fuck out of Lima with Rachel. Where she went didn't even matter to her at this point. She just wanted out once and for all.

She felt a soft weight against her shoulder and looked to her left to see Mack resting there. Quinn smiled, remembering a time when this setting was the only domesticity she knew. Before Rachel and Beth showed her what domesticity really was, what love and selflessness and sacrifice really was. She had been selfish her entire life, never sacrificing, never loving anyone but herself because there was no one around to love her the way she needed it.

But Rachel , and even Beth, someone so young and innocent showed Quinn a pure love she had never known before. It made something like sitting around Mack's house with the Skanks pale in comparison.

She kind of wanted to go home. And maybe call Rachel.

"So, Quinn, what the fuck have you been doing for the past month you haven't been spending with us?" Ronnie asked before taking a bite of her sandwich.

Quinn frowned at the question. "It's not like we haven't seen each other. I see you guys in school all the time…when you guys actually come to school, I guess I should say."

"If you skipped more like us, then we'd be able to spend more time together," Sheila joined in.

"I already got enough heat from my mom this morning for not wanting to go to school." She sighed, looking at the two of them. "Look, I can't do that stuff anymore if I want to get out of here after graduation."

Ronnie looked at her skeptically. "You're going to college?"

Quinn nodded, rubbing her lips together, nervous as to how her friends were going to receive this information.

Mack sat up, turning her body around to face her. "What do you mean 'get out of here'?"

Quinn sat up straighter in her seat, eying all of them before she said, "I want out of Lima. I haven't exactly made that a secret."

"Yeah, but…you're actually going to do it?"

"I'm trying," she admitted.

They all seemed to collectively slump back in their seats.

"I can't believe this," Sheila muttered.

"Honestly, Quinn, what was the point of letting you back into the fold if you're just going to leave again?" Ronnie asked.

"Oh, come on, don't give me that," Quinn complained. "I've always hated Lima, it wasn't a secret, and I was—"

"You used to talk a lot of shit," Mack admitted. "But you've never had the motivation to actually leave."

"Well…now I do."

Mack shifted, uncomfortable. "We're going to miss you."

Quinn looked around at all of them. "I can visit. Besides we still have four months of school and all of summer left. We can still have fun."

Ronnie sighed, tossing her napkin at Quinn. "I guess if it was one person out of all of us that was actually gonna go to college, it was you."

"Hey!" Mack protested. "I still have a year left to prove myself."

"Yeah, if you don't fail _this_ year," Quinn challenged with a smirk.

"Congrats, Quinn," Sheila said sincerely.

"I haven't gotten into anywhere yet."

"But you will," Ronnie said surely.

She ducked her head with a sheepish smile, grateful to have the friends that she did.

* * *

><p>Rachel had felt all kinds of frazzled when she finally made it home from school. She tossed her bag on the kitchen table and slinked into the seat, running her hands through her hair in frustration. Quinn frustrated her. And not the good kind that made her feel warm inside. The bad kind that left her confused as to how to help, or if Quinn even <em>wanted<em> her help. It seemed all she wanted to do was hang out with those damn skanks instead of her own girlfriend.

She immediately stomped down her irrational side that mocked her for allowing her girlfriend to go hang out with her friends, one of whom she had made out with in the past. She kept telling herself over and over again that there was no way Quinn was going to cheat on her…right? No matter how upset Quinn was because Rachel had to be the one to tell her the truth, she wouldn't do that, right?

She took a deep breath, mentally telling her darker thoughts to shut up. Quinn wouldn't cheat on her. Quinn loved her and knew a good thing when she saw it. There was no way she was going to throw everything they had been through in the past, hell everything they had been through this past year alone just for some, some _loose_ _girl_ who meant nothing.

All Quinn needed was space and as much as it tugged at Rachel's heart to let her go, she was willing to give her space if it meant Quinn would eventually come back.

Soon.

For better or worse, it was Quinn's 'thing'—the need for space when things got to be too much for her to deal. Rachel was the exact opposite. When things got to be too much to deal with, she wanted comfort, the warm press of a body she was familiar with. Someone, _Quinn_ stroking her hair and telling her everything was going to be okay. And she would get that, hopefully. But for now she had to begrudgingly give Quinn space because having to deal with being told she wasn't Beth's mother couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow.

A hand reached out and touched her shoulder and Rachel instantly turned towards it, wrapping her arms around someone's waist. She couldn't be sure who at first. After a few seconds, the familiar feel of Leroy became apparent to her. She buried her face into his stomach like she did years ago when she was short enough to, inhaling his cologne.

Leroy sighed from above her as he rubbed her back. "Are you ready to talk now?"

Rachel pulled back, staring up at him forlornly before he sat down beside her. He grabbed both of her hands and scooted closer. "Sweetheart, you didn't tell us yesterday because you thought you could fix it yourself. Obviously that isn't the case because you're sitting in this kitchen near tears. Now I've given you free reign to handle this the way you wanted but I'm putting my foot down. I'm your father, and you're still my baby girl, living under my roof. So, tell me what's going on."

She half-smiled at the authoritative tone his voice had taken on. The sound of feet approaching caught her attention and she looked up as Hiram walked in the kitchen with a concerned frown on his face, sitting down at the head of the table. "What's wrong?" he asked Leroy.

"She's about to tell us," Leroy answered sternly.

Rachel stole her hands back to herself, wringing them together before sitting them in her lap. "What I tell you can't leave this room," she said quietly, firmly with a pleading note to her voice. "Please, I—it's really incriminating if told to the wrong people and it just can't get out, okay?"

"Are you smoking weed?" Hiram asked.

"Dad!"

Leroy turned towards him in confusion.

Hiram shrugged. "Isn't that what children do these days? Smoke weed and have sex parties?"

"Where are you getting this information from?" Leroy asked incredulously.

"Television?"

"Honey, no." Leroy turned towards him more fully. "I think these vacation days off of work haven't been kind to you."

Hiram glared mildly at him over his glasses and Rachel cleared her throat, trying to get them to focus. "Okay, we're talking about _me_ now," she told them. When their attention was back on her, however, she suddenly felt nervous. Her gaze darted to a nearby wall before meeting Leroy's then Hiram's. "Shelby is having an affair with Noah Puckerman," she intoned hesitantly.

"Noah Puckerman?" Leroy frowned incomprehensibly.

"Isn't that the boy you used to date?" Hiram asked.

Rachel nodded tightly. "He's also the same boy that impregnated Quinn."

It was such an awkward conversation to have. Made even more awkward by the myriad of expressions flitting across her fathers' faces. Leroy covered his mouth with a hand as if he was keeping himself from saying something…or vomiting.

The only sound that could be heard in the room was the sound of Hiram's chair creaking as he sat forward. "Let me get this straight," he prefaced with disbelieving eyes. "You and Quinn shared a boy?"

"They shared two boys," Leroy said, his eyes even wider. "We knew that. But I didn't know they shared the boy that got Quinn pregnant."

She nodded nervously, rubbing her lips together.

"And so now Shelby is—is he even eighteen?"

"Yes, daddy, he is. But Quinn she-she was upset," Rachel elaborated.

"Does she have feelings for him?" Hiram asked.

Rachel shook her head. "She doesn't. I checked. She was just upset because the family dynamic is already weird enough for Beth and Shelby was making it weirder by being with Noah. So, Quinn wanted to tell on her and get her fired because she was angry, and then," she took a deep breath, "I tried to talk her out of it and she wouldn't listen, so then I told her that there was no way Shelby was going to be able to take care of Beth. And we got into this huge argument about who Beth's real mother was," Rachel finished quietly.

Leroy nodded in understanding and Hiram sighed, his eyes softening. "Who did you choose?" Hiram asked, already guessing how the conversation went.

Rachel rubbed her arm nervously. "I chose Shelby. Because—"

"We know why you chose her, honey," Leroy said softly, pulling her into a hug.

"She was so upset," Rachel whispered. "And now she's mad at me and asked me for space."

Hiram stood from his seat and walked over to stand in front of the pair. He rubbed Rachel's hair soothingly, making eye contact with Leroy before looking down at her. "Just give her some time, sweetheart."

"I don't want to give her time! I just want to be with her." She lifted her face from Leroy's shoulder, staring blankly into the living room several feet away. "Do you think I was wrong?"

"No," Leroy told her. "I don't think you were wrong, but I do think it was difficult for Quinn to hear. And if she wants her space then just give it to her. But be there for her when she needs you."

"What about when I need _her_?" Rachel sniffled, wiping her eyes.

Leroy chuckled, looking up at Hiram. "If you really needed her, then I doubt she'd turn you away."

"My main concern in this whole situation is Shelby," Hiram said sternly. "Are we going to have to talk to her?"

"No, dad, I—there are only so many more months in school and I don't want to cause any trouble for you guys." She turned around, stepping out of Leroy's arms and into Hiram's. "Thank you, though."

"I just don't like the way she's handling things," Hiram said.

"I don't either," Rachel agreed. "But it's almost over and, more importantly, I don't want anything happening between now and then that would jeopardize Quinn's visitation rights with Beth." She smiled ruefully. "Well, anything that would jeopardize them more than Quinn herself already does."

Hiram looked to Leroy and he sighed, standing up. His shoulders lifted into a helpless shrug. Hiram wrapped his arms more tightly around Rachel, knowing this was only the beginning of situations in which he wouldn't be able to protect his daughter from. But wishing he always could. "Just know that we love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss against her head.

Rachel hugged him tighter. "I do, dad, and I love you guys, too."

* * *

><p>She didn't get home until nine and when she did, she was exhausted. Dealing with three drunken people wasn't fun for her when she was sober. Once she was able to get everyone into a reclining position and asleep, she had tip-toed out of Mack's house and locked it from the inside before driving home.<p>

She slapped her letter from OSU into the palm of her hand, a mild buzz of excitement going through her. She had gotten in. Great. But what about the other ones?

Judy greeted her at the bottom of the steps just as she was passing the living room. "Hi, Quinn," she began tentatively. "How has your day been?"

Quinn walked closer with a small smile. "It's been okay. Thanks." She fanned the letter in front of her. "I got into OSU."

Judy smiled widely, wrapping her arms around Quinn. "Congratulations, honey! I knew you were smart."

Quinn shrugged halfheartedly. "I'm more concerned about the other ones."

Judy nodded. "All in due time. But right now you've been accepted to OSU and that's a cause for celebration."

"Can we celebrate tomorrow, mom? Right now I'm just tired more than anything."

Judy cupped her cheeks softly. "But you'll be alright, right? With everything that's happened?"

"I'll be fine, mom. I always am."

"I don't want you to be fine," Judy said quietly. "I want you to be happy."

She felt foolish when her eyes started to sting and even more foolish when she found herself with her arms wrapped tightly around her mother, but it felt so right that feeling foolish and childish paled in comparison. This was what it felt like to lean on a parent when things didn't always go well and it felt so amazing. She now understood why Rachel loved her parents as much as she did if this was how they had treated her her entire life.

"I'm happy," Quinn sighed against Judy's shoulder. "I just really need some sleep."

Judy smiled. "Go to sleep. Try again tomorrow. Sometimes that's honestly the only thing and the best thing you can do."

She released her hold on Judy with some reluctance, looking up at her once before squeezing past her and up the stairs. "Good night, mom."

"Good night, dear. Oh, and Quinn?"

Quinn turned around at the top of the stairs to look towards Judy.

"There's a surprise waiting for you on your bed," Judy said warmly. "Make sure you take extra care of it."

She smiled in confusion at what her mother was talking about before walking down the hallway towards her room. The door was halfway opened and she opened it more fully, walking inside. And there, in the middle of her bed curled up into a tiny ball was none other than Rachel Berry. Quinn couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face even if she wanted to. She closed the door, locked it, and slowly walked over to stare down at her girlfriend—brown hair tousled, falling over her face. Quinn sat down on the edge of the bed. She smoothed Rachel's hair back softly, pressing a kiss to her cheek, her forehead, then softly to her lips. Rachel stirred at the contact, glazed eyes fluttering open.

Quinn smiled down at her. "Hi, baby."

Rachel groaned sleepily, scooting closer to the fingers gently raking across her scalp. "Don't kick me out," she said.

Her words sliced through Quinn's heart with guilt and she sighed heavily. "I won't kick you out. How long have you been here?"

"What time is it?"

Quinn reached into her pocket for her phone, the backlight blinding Rachel. "Nine-ten."

Her brow furrowed cutely as she tried to work through her sleep addled brain. "Almost two hours."

"Two hours?" Quinn hissed incredulously, slipping her phone back into her pocket. "Why didn't you call me?"

Rachel turned over onto her back, eyes peeling open to stare up at Quinn. "I didn't want to rush you."

Before Rachel knew much else, the familiar weight of her girlfriend was draped across her. Fingers were tangled in her mussed hair and warm lips covered her own firmly. She moaned softly in relief as she splayed her hand across Quinn's lower back, feeling warm, soft skin.

Quinn kissed her deeply, feeling so much emotion because Rachel _knew_ _her_ so well. She bit Rachel's bottom lip softly, tugging on it before pulling back, stroking her cheek softly.

It was nearly pitch black in the room and Rachel could barely make out Quinn's facial features but she instinctively knew where those hazel eyes would be when she looked up at her and said, "I love you, too, Quinn," with a happily amused giggle.

Quinn smiled before pushing off of her, sitting up from the bed and walking towards where she thought her closet would be.

"Where are you going?" Rachel whined.

"I'm taking my clothes off," Quinn mumbled as she shimmied out of her jeans.

Rachel perked up slightly. "Are we…having make up sex?"

Quinn chuckled throatily. "Do you want to?"

"I do," Rachel admitted through a yawn. "But I'm kind of sleepy."

"Take your clothes off." Quinn unclasped her bra. "All of them."

Rachel couldn't be bothered to get out of the bed, but she stripped as best as she could while lying on her back. Quinn sat down on the bed a second later and peeled off Rachel's knee socks after her skirt was off, followed by her panties. She pulled back the sheets to her bed and crawled under with Rachel. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked tentatively.

Quinn nodded though she knew Rachel couldn't see. "Yeah." She tugged on Rachel's arm until they were closer, facing each other, then intertwined their legs.

Rachel sighed in relief at their contact. "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?"

She smiled softly. "I'm sure. And thank you, but I'd rather just not."

Her voice must have carried the warmth she was feeling because Rachel sighed again and snuggled closer, finally content. "Just to be clear," she whispered, "no make up sex tonight?"

Quinn smiled cheekily into the darkened room. "Hmm, maybe tomorrow? When my mom goes to run errands." Her nails raked softly against Rachel's scalp and she was rewarded with a purr that made her smile as Rachel snuggled impossibly closer. "By the way, how did you get here?"

"Daddy brought me," Rachel whispered as she softly thumbed Quinn's nipple back and forth. "He said I could spend the night if it meant working things out with you."

Quinn sighed as she felt her nipple tighten against Rachel's finger. "Really?" she breathed. Leroy was always her favorite for a reason.

"Mhm." She yawned, snuggling closer and pressing her face against Quinn's collarbone. "I'm really glad you came back tonight," Rachel breathed into her skin.

"Me, too." She leaned down, drawing Rachel's face closer to connect their lips softly. She felt Rachel slide against her leg at the contact and all of her dormant hormones flared to life in an instant. Too tired to do anything, she settled for exchanging kisses with Rachel. She pulled back a moment later with a soft gasp. "I got into OSU," she whispered breathlessly.

Rachel smiled happily, drawing Quinn closer for a congratulatory kiss. "I'm so proud of you, baby," she whispered, stroking Quinn's cheek.

Quinn smiled wryly. "But you'll be even more proud when I get into NYU, huh?"

"Yale," Rachel said softly.

Quinn scoffed. "You sound like my father."

A cute pout turned Rachel's lips downward and she pressed them to Quinn's until she kissed it away.

Rachel nuzzled their noses together, feeling warm and happy. She wrapped a hand around Quinn's waist and tugged her closer until they were hip to hip, stomach to stomach, breast to breast. "This is much better," she whispered against Quinn's collarbone.

Quinn kissed the top of her forehead one last time before they both settled in for sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **NC-17

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**Ahh, the end is near and it makes me sad, because I love this one. I'll probably be able to wrap this up within the next 5-6 chapters. Just a heads up.

* * *

><p>They were just coming off a high of winning Regionals, on their way to Nationals and everyone was in high spirits. Quinn stood off to the side as she stared at the somewhat tamed dog pile with a wince. Her girlfriend was in there somewhere screaming, "We kicked ass!" rather loudly. She smiled, grateful that they were able to win, grateful that Rachel was able to win, but not really feeling festive. She had had a duet to sing with Rory of all people, but backed out of it the last week, giving it to Santana, who was happy to take it. She didn't want to sing. She didn't want to celebrate. She mostly just wanted to go home.<p>

Puck hoisted the trophy into the air with a heavy sigh, passing by her. Their gazes locked and they both looked away awkwardly as he continued to walk by. They hadn't spoken since the incident in the hallway two weeks ago and Quinn wasn't really jumping at the chance to hug things out as if everything was okay. Sure, it made glee club much more awkward, but whatever. She hadn't spoken to Puck and she hadn't spoken to Shelby. Which meant she hadn't spoken to Beth and it was starting to wear her out. She missed Beth more than anything and the more she fought against playing nice with Shelby, the less time she was getting to spend with her daughter before she left.

The group dispersed, everyone wearing tired but proud smiles. Rachel caught her eye and smiled sweetly. Her hair was curled into waves that fell down her shoulders, her bangs curled and styled neatly. She had been so excited for today that she had done her hair extra early, working on it here and there throughout the day until it was time to compete. She walked over to Quinn with her hands clasped tightly behind her back until she was in touching distance, then loving hands wrapped around Quinn's waist. "Hi," Rachel said softly.

Quinn rubbed her back absentmindedly. "Hey."

Rachel looked up at her with a wide, but worried smile. She was excited they had won, but her girlfriend's heart hadn't been in it and that troubled her. "We won."

Quinn nodded. "Yep."

Rachel sighed and hugged her closer.

* * *

><p>"Quinn, I just want you to be happy."<p>

Quinn pulled her shirt off, turning to look at Rachel. "I'm happy." She slid the shirt along the hanger, hating Mr. Schuester's choice in some of their performance attire.

Rachel sat atop the bed with wide critical eyes. "If you're happy then come to the party with me."

"I don't want to go to the party," Quinn said quietly. She shimmied out of her pants and placed them on a hanger as well. "You go."

"I don't want to go without you," Rachel lamented as her feet dangled off the bed. She was still dressed her Regionals outfit, having followed Quinn home out of worry.

Quinn sucked her teeth in annoyance, grabbing a large sleep shirt from her drawer and throwing it on as she sat down beside Rachel on the bed. She stared down at the carpet on her floor for a moment before looking back up at Rachel. "I think you should go."

Rachel grabbed her hand, turning to face her more fully. She smiled sadly, smoothing out Quinn's side bangs and tracing a lock of hair to just below her shoulder. It was steadily growing, yet Quinn seemed to lack the desire to cut it again. "I think you're sad because you haven't seen her since the night we all spent the night together."

"I'm not sad at all," Quinn shot back as she scooted away and further along the bed. Rachel turned to watch her slide along the bed, turning to face away as she curled in on herself.

Rachel sat and stared at her morosely, unable to help but feel the slightest bit guilty for the rut Quinn seemed to be stuck in. Quinn wouldn't have been feeling like this had Rachel not told her that she wasn't Beth's mother. But on the other hand, Shelby would have been fired and without a way to provide food and clothes for Beth had Rachel not stepped in. Mostly, it was just painful to see Quinn mope around because of the fact that she wasn't a mother, when Rachel knew in her heart that Quinn would have made an excellent mother to Beth.

She sighed and looked away, kicking off her shoes before she turned back around fully and lied in bed beside Quinn. She hesitantly nestled behind her, sliding an arm around Quinn's waist. She smiled at the quiet sigh Quinn probably hadn't meant to slip out as she melted back into her. They didn't do this often—Rachel didn't get to hold Quinn as often as she liked but whenever she did, it made her giddy. She nuzzled the back of her neck and placed a light kiss there, burying her face into her hair. "I think you should talk to Shelby."

"I can't stand the sight of her."

"I know, baby," Rachel cooed against her ear and Quinn shivered despite herself. She scowled, glaring at the wall because she was supposed to be upset right now and she hated that Rachel could disarm her this quickly. "But I think you miss Beth."

"Of course I miss Beth," she relented softly.

Rachel peppered what she hoped were soothing kisses along the back of Quinn's neck. "Just…just think it over. We only have a few more months and you don't want to spend them living in the same town as Beth and not seeing her. You'll regret it, Quinn."

Quinn puffed out an annoyed breath, staring unseeingly at the wall on the other side of the room.

* * *

><p>Rachel giggled quietly as she watched Kurt bounce about in her room while blasting loud music. Ever since he and Blaine had started dating, he had been nothing but a ball of energy. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them as she thought about NYADA. Hanging out with Kurt always caused her to think of her future because there was about a fiftyfifty chance that he would be in it. She didn't like those odds. Even though half, the odds still felt slim. She was starting to hate her single mindedness because NYADA was the only school she had applied to. Quinn had applied to three schools like any person should, but Rachel was so set on being in a performing arts school in New York that she hadn't even considered the fact that she may not get in—which would mean that she would be stuck in Lima. And not just stuck in Lima, but stuck in Lima without a school to go to. She hadn't applied to OSU.

She lifted her head and eyed Kurt curiously. "Kurt?"

"Yeah?" he replied breathlessly, bouncing around on the floor.

Rachel licked her lips nervously. "Did you apply to other schools?"

"Nope!"

It oddly made her feel comfortable. Which then made her feel guilty—that the possibility of having her best friend suffer the same fate that she could possibly suffer made her feel comfortable. "What if we don't get into NYADA?" she asked after a moment.

Kurt stopped dancing immediately. "Don't tell me you're starting to have doubts when we're less than a month away from finding out."

"Isn't this the time to have doubts, though?" she asked anxiously. "We only applied to one school. Quinn applied to three."

"Yeah, because her father is overbearing and because at the time she was applying, she still had a foot firmly rooted in this dump of a town."

"Regardless of the reasons, she still has options," Rachel pointed out. "We don't."

The rest of his life, the stage, the bright lights all flashed before his eyes briefly before he shrugged and said, "I'm going to make it to New York. Period. Whether it's seven months from now or seven years from now, I'm going to be there." Rachel's iPod switched to a new song and Kurt immediately began to dance. "You should think more like me."

Rachel made some sound of affirmation as she continued to over think her future. Things were really winding down now. It was time to make those all-important decisions that would change the rest of her life and it was starting to make her nervous. "Do you think Quinn would stay in Lima if I had to?" she asked hesitantly. She hated even having the scenario in her mind in which she would have to ask Quinn to stay in the one place she hated the most. Rachel didn't want to be that selfish, but she was in love, and didn't want to do without the one person she loved the most.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Because she hates it here now. Especially with Shelby being here."

"But she loves Beth, and she loves you. So, even though she hates it here, if you were stuck here, I think she'd stay."

"But I don't want her to stay," Rachel lamented, caught going back and forth between what was best for Quinn and what would make herself feel better in the end.

"Then let her go," Kurt said as if it were obvious.

"Do you-do you think she'll still be with me?"

Kurt gave her a blank look. "I think you're the only one who understands her crazy. And I think she's aware of that."

Rachel chuckled quietly, before warmly mumbling, "Don't call my girlfriend crazy."

Kurt shrugged. "We all have a little psycho in us." He walked over to the iPod, touching the screen until _Last Friday Night_ began playing. "Speaking of Blaine," he started with a smile, "I'm getting him a few festive, brightly colored bowties for Valentine's Day. Ever since Santana made fun of the way he dresses, I've noticed him wear fewer ties. I know he likes them, so I'm getting him more and he's going to wear them no matter what she says."

She groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead at the mention of Valentine's Day. "Quinn and I haven't even discussed Valentine's Day yet. We've been busy," she said gesturing vaguely with her hand. All they had been doing since having the bomb of Shelby and Puck hooking up and Quinn not being Beth's mom dropped on them was taking things one day at a time. There had been some talking, tears, awkward glee club meetings, and, most recently, a Regionals victory that made Rachel giddy inside but failed to touch Quinn emotionally. Valentine's Day had definitely taken a backseat to the point where Rachel, _Rachel_ of all people had forgotten about it. "Shit," she muttered.

Kurt smiled amusedly at the uncharacteristic curse word that fell from her lips. "What are you guys gonna do?"

She stroked her chin in thought, blushing a little as she looked towards him. "Would it be incredibly crude and perverse to say that I simply just want to make love to her on Valentine's Day?"

"Absolutely scandalous," Kurt replied with an eyeroll. "Come _on_, everyone in a relationship is planning on having sex on the most romantic day of the year. I'd be judging you if you didn't."

She giggled, lying back on her bed and staring at the ceiling. She just wanted a day. A day in which she and Quinn could just _be_ instead of having to deal with life and everything it threw at the two of them. She just wanted to love all over her girlfriend without restraint on the most romantic day of the year. "I should probably get her flowers though," she added after a moment.

"Maybe Blaine would like some neon hot pants," Kurt mumbled.

* * *

><p>Quinn strummed her fingers against the table she was sitting at absentmindedly. She squinted, looking at the picture in front of her, then looking back over to the canvas just off to her right. There needed to be a <em>lot<em> more shading and detail if it was going to be done in time. She was going to be up all night. She stared lovingly at the photo, rethinking the past several months of her life.

She couldn't wait to get out of Lima. She couldn't wait to get out with Rachel and flee to New York. It had gotten to the point where she wouldn't even mind spending the rest of her life in New York. She wouldn't mind holding hands with Rachel and walking to Starbucks for expensive coffee that would probably raise Rachel's level of energy and excitement to scary levels. She actually wanted to fulfill Rachel's fantasy of her waiting backstage after Rachel's shows with a bouquet of flowers.

And she wanted to finally have the chance to make her own path, have her own life. Live by her own morals and her own expectations because trying to live under the pressures her mother and father put on her, and the social pressures of being the most popular girl at school got her pregnant far too early and her life spiraled from there. Quinn wanted out, wanted her own life by her own terms, wanted to study art because it was something _she_ wanted to do. And she wanted to do it all with Rachel Berry.

But lastly, she wanted emotional stability. Something she couldn't seem to get in Lima. She was sick of the mood swings, the ups and downs, the depression, the waxing and waning of her feelings. _Change_. She wanted change, she wanted _different_.

But first she needed to keep her grades up for the rest of the year, so she could at least secure salutatorian—valedictorian was definitely out of her reach now thanks to Mike Chang. She scooted her chair back and stood abruptly, walking back over to the canvas.

The faint sound of the phone ringing reached her ears and she quickly jogged up the stairs to the kitchen and grabbed the cordless phone attached to the wall. "Hello?" she sighed into the phone.

"_Hello, this is Mrs. Waters from admissions here at Yale University. I'm calling to get in touch with Quinn Fabray_."

Quinn instantly clamped a hand over her mouth. Her throat dried as her eyes widened nervously. She blinked rapidly in incomprehension. Why the hell was the office of admissions calling her? Was this bad?

"_Hello? Miss?_"

"Hello," Quinn responded evenly. "Yes—speaking. This—I'm Quinn Fabray." She cursed herself for sounding so damn awkward. They would probably rip up her application just for that. This was an Ivy League school and she was fumbling over her words already in ways she didn't even know she was capable of.

"_Good evening, Miss Fabray. It's nice to speak with you_."

"It's very nice to hear from you as well, Mrs. Waters," she replied as smoothly as she could. "And please, call me Quinn."

"_Very well, Quinn. Well, I'm calling to inform you that we're in the midst of reviewing your application_."

Quinn inhaled a shaky breath. "Yeah? Well, that's-that's great. I'm hoping that I'm making a good impression."

"_You are_," Mrs. Waters assured. "_Or you were, I should say. Your grades have been impeccable your first three years of high school. And I see you've dabbled in the arts and extracurricular activities quite nicely. Art, cheering, glee club—all the while maintaining stellar grades. Quite impressive, Quinn_."

Quinn smiled hollowly, proud of her earlier accomplishments, but already seeing where this conversation was going.

"_However_," Mrs. Waters intoned pointedly, "_during the beginning of this year, your grades took a very drastic and noticeable nosedive and your attendance declined to the point in which truancy nearly had to step in. This continued for an entire quarter and then, suddenly it stopped and you began attending school again, your grades improved to the level they had always been, better actually, and you rejoined glee club_."

She released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding when her fight with Santana, Ronnie, and Sheila wasn't mentioned. Seemed like her father was good for something after all. "In a nutshell that basically describes my high school academic career, ma'am," she replied morosely.

There was some shuffling coming from the other end before Mrs. Waters began talking. "_Now, Quinn, while myself and everyone else in admissions can appreciate your wonderful grades and how well-rounded you've managed to show us you are with your extracurricular activities, your recent fickleness with your academics concerns us. Do you understand?_"

"Yes, ma'am," she said quietly, feeling a wave of sadness wash over her surprisingly. She hadn't wanted to go to this school to begin with, so being sad all of a sudden about the possibility of not getting in didn't make sense to her.

"_Is there a reason for the level of changeability you displayed months ago?_"

The question piqued her interest. It seemed like Mrs. Waters was offering reprieve—an out or a means to defend herself, however brief that chance would be.

"Yes-yes, ma'am. There was a reason for the sudden change you see in my grades and school attendance. You see—" she sighed quietly and ran a hand through her hair. The weight of all the decisions she had made since breaking up with Rachel last year came up and slapped her right in the face. She stared blankly at the wall in front of her, remorse for possibly fucking up her future causing her chest to cave in. "I…I was having a hard time, Mrs. Waters. My life—it hadn't gone the way I wanted it to," she whispered. "I wasn't—I acted out in ways that I now realize are stupid, but back then thought were necessary. But please, don't penalize me for that. I was stupid and misguided and I—that won't happen again. I promise it won't happen again should I attend Yale in the fall."

Silence prevailed for a long moment. Quinn rubbed a hand against the worried creases in her furrowed brow before leaning against the wall. She had fucked up. She had fucked up royally.

"_Well, you certainly have given me a few things to consider," _Mrs. Waters said, her tone completely neutral, not giving anything away._ "Expect to hear from us within the next few weeks_."

"Yes, ma'am," Quinn mumbled. She cleared her throat, projecting her voice to say, "Thank you for calling, Mrs. Waters. I'm grateful for the chance to at least explain the oddities of my academic behaviors the first quarter of this year."

"_We don't do this often_," she admitted. "_But every once in a while an application that is simply…good aside from a hiccup or two comes along and if we feel compelled to do so, we'll reach out to the student_."

"Thank you," Quinn said again.

"_Have a good day, Quinn. And a good rest of the school year._"

She hung up shortly after that and Quinn placed the phone on the hook against the wall. She stood pressed against the wall, wondering if NYU was wondering the same thing that Yale was about her application. And if they were going to extend the courtesy of calling her or simply throwing her application in the trash.

* * *

><p>So far Valentine's Day was lame. Rachel had spent the day walking through the hallways alone as couples linked at the hands walked past her. They all looked happy, and in love.<p>

She loathed them all.

It wasn't fair that they got to enjoy their loved ones and bask in their presence when she hadn't even seen Quinn all morning. They didn't have many classes this semester—both only having two classes each—and not once had Rachel seen her in the hallway. Quinn hadn't even met her after classes, she wasn't at her own classes when Rachel had walked to them, and Quinn wasn't at lunch. She wasn't answering her phone and Rachel was beginning to get annoyed.

She kept wondering if Quinn was still holding a grudge against her because of what she had said about her not being Beth's mother. If so, then that wasn't fair, because that was weeks ago and they had talked it out since then. Quinn couldn't just pick and choose when she could be upse—

"Hi."

Rachel nearly had a heart attack when Quinn suddenly appeared in front of her. She jumped back, took a calming breath, then leapt into Quinn's arms when her heart rate sped up in recognition of just who was in front of her. Rachel's arms wounded tightly around Quinn's neck, crushing their bodies together forcefully. She peppered kisses against the warm cheek she had her lips pressed against, sighing softly when she felt arms wrap around her waist. "Happy Valentine's Day, baby" she whispered, burying her face into Quinn's neck.

Quinn rubbed up and down her back, eyes flicking over everyone in the hallway before she focused on Rachel. She smiled softly, murmuring the sentiment back.

Rachel squeezed her once more before pulling back with a frown. "Where have you been? I've been lonely and sad all day, on the most romantic day of the _year_, Quinn. The year. Kurt and Mercedes have both been with their boyfriends all day and all I wanted was my girlfriend and you haven't been here."

Quinn's smile grew infinitely during Rachel's rant. "I've been in the art studio."

Rachel huffed in frustration, not knowing why Quinn was smiling so widely when she was obviously upset right now. "Why were you in the art studio all morning instead of being with me?"

"Glad you asked." She reached out and grabbed Rachel's hand, flashing her an enigmatic smile before pulling her down the hallway.

Rachel followed along in uncertainty, half upset still, half curious. Curiosity was quickly winning out as Quinn pulled her down the stairs and towards the art room. They came to a stop in front of the door and Quinn spun around to face her. "Close your eyes," she instructed softly.

Brown eyes fluttered close. "Don't make me bump into something and break my nose. Again."

"Better your nose than your talent," Quinn quipped. She stroked the back of Rachel's hand, guiding her inside the door. Rachel walked slowly on shaky legs, nervous but trusting Quinn to guide her safely.

Always.

The next thing Rachel knew, she was bumping into Quinn softly. She wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist immediately, nuzzling her chest and placing a kiss against her heart. "I love you," she mumbled.

Quinn rubbed her shoulders with a soft sigh. "I'm sorry for being difficult lately."

Her eyes were still closed and she didn't feel inclined to open them. Not when she could use her other senses to touch the soft fabric of Quinn's dress, smell the faint hint of her floral perfume, listen to the gentle rasp of her voice, and bask in the taste of her collarbone as she licked her lips briefly. "I don't want to talk about that. I just want to be with you."

Quinn smiled a quiet, happy smile, kissing Rachel on top of her head before pulling away. She took a few steps back to walk to the canvas. "Open your eyes."

Her eyes fluttered open. What stood before her took her breath away. It was a portrait of a photo she had made Quinn take with her a week ago after reminding her that she promised they could take more pictures together. In the portrait, they were lying down, Rachel's hair spilling out and falling off the canvas as she smiled happily. Quinn's smile was more amused and Rachel recalled how her own excitement made Quinn laugh just before the picture this portrait mimicked was taken. They looked happy. Quinn had managed to capture the same gleam in their eyes in the portrait that had shown clearly in the photograph of the two of them. They looked in love. They looked made for each other.

Rachel didn't even tear her eyes away until she felt the pad of Quinn's thumb stroke under her eye. She looked up, eyes wide and glistening as she stared at Quinn. "I-I get to have this?" she whispered.

Quinn nodded with a small, sheepish smile. "I made this for you…for Valentine's Day. I know I've been really self-absorbed, but I didn't forget."

"Quinn," Rachel breathed shakily. She clutched Quinn's dress, looking at the portrait fondly. She swallowed thickly, feeling so much emotion. "I'm putting this in my room for the rest of the year. Then-then when we go to New York, I'm putting it in my dorm." The worry of possibly not getting into college seemed to melt away. Quinn always had a way of making her feel like she could do anything.

"And every time I visit, I'll get to look at my handiwork," Quinn replied jokingly.

Rachel smiled up at her before pulling away. She walked towards the portrait, tracing the smile on Quinn's lips with the tip of her finger. "You're so talented, Quinn."

Quinn was beginning to fall in love with that word. "Thank you."

"What I got you pales in comparison," she grumbled.

Quinn laughed quietly and walked to Rachel. She wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and rested her head on her shoulder as they vainly looked at themselves and each other in the portrait. She pushed Rachel's hair aside and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. "You didn't have to get me anything," she whispered.

"I did," Rachel replied petulantly. She leaned back into Quinn with a content sigh. This was where she had wanted to be all day, and it was only made better by the fact that Quinn had been thinking about her and made her a Valentine's Day gift. She bit her lip as Quinn purred into her ear, "What did you get me?"

"Some flowers," Rachel sing-songed.

"Mhm."

"Some chocolate."

"Mhm."

"And a giant teddy bear."

Behind her, Quinn smiled. "I like these gifts."

Rachel pouted. "You're just saying that because you have to."

"Do you know how many stuffed animals I secretly have?"

She giggled and shook her head, rubbing her thumb over the back of Quinn's hand on her stomach.

"Lots," Quinn whispered against her ear. "So, thank you."

"You're welcome," Rachel said warmly. She felt slim arms tighten around her as Quinn pressed closer from behind.

"Now," Quinn cooed against her ear. "Can we make use of your house while your fathers are at work?"

Rachel grinned cheekily as she stared at the painting, thinking of all the ways she and Quinn could make use of that house. "Are you done with school for the day?"

"Mhm," Quinn hummed, sucking on her ear lobe. "And so are you, so let's go."

"Best. Valentine's Day. Ever," Rachel cheered as she quickly grabbed the portrait so they could leave.

* * *

><p>Quinn lied there, stark naked on Rachel's bed, staring at the ceiling. They had been at this for about twenty minutes and Rachel was only showing signs of<em> just<em> getting started. Quinn's body buzzed excitedly, floating between overwhelming arousal and warm calmness. Something only her girlfriend could simultaneously elicit in her. It proved to be both frustrating and relaxing. Right now she was relaxed. The most relaxed she had been in weeks and it felt amazing.

She hadn't even known there was such a thing as 'relaxed sex', but damn was it amazing. Suddenly her back arched on its own accord in reaction to the soft shock of a warm mouth enveloping her nipple. "Rachel," she gasped in surprise. "What are you doing to me?"

Rachel shrugged. Her tongue swirled circles around a pink nipple until she pulled away with a wet pop. "I just…I missed you, Quinn. And I want to take my time."

Quinn brought a hand up to comb lazily through brown hair. "I missed you, too. And I'm sorry." She could feel Rachel shake her head.

"Don't apologize for your feelings." She blew on the stiff nipple her fingers were tweaking and felt Quinn shiver around her. "You could apologize for spending time with those Skanks instead of me, though."

"That was weeks ago."

"And I'm still upset about it," Rachel said with a pout.

Quinn chuckled breathlessly, gasping when Rachel bit her nipple. "I'm sorry," she rasped out.

Rachel hummed her approval, kneading Quinn's other breast as she kissed a sloppy trail down her stomach. She knew she reached her mark when a small patch of hair tickled her chin. She giggled quietly at the change in texture.

"You always laugh during sex," Quinn noted warmly.

Rachel parted her folds, settling between her legs. "It makes me happy."

"Having sex makes anyone happy."

"No, making love to you makes _me_ happy."

There wasn't another response after that and Rachel smiled, knowing she had rendered her girlfriend speechless. She licked a hot trail through the length of her and relished in the quiet hiss from Quinn at the head of the bed. "Your idea of coming to my house was wonderful."

Quinn whimpered as Rachel sucked her clit softly. "Go, me."

"Indeed." Rachel lapped her clit with the tip of her tongue, nudging it until it came out of its hood. Then she wrapped her lips around it again and sucked harder.

"Fuck," Quinn moaned softly. "You've gotten so good at this." She felt a finger prod at her entrance and moaned, spreading her legs as Rachel slipped inside. "More."

Rachel's left hand crawled lazily along the bed until she was cupping Quinn's breast softly. She gave a gentle squeeze, rubbing her thumb across a pebbled nipple as she slowly thrusted her finger inside. Her teeth grazed Quinn's clit and Quinn cried out sharply, arching into her.

"Baby, more," Quinn groaned. She could feel Rachel smile against her.

"Hold on."

Quinn thrashed around in protest, her body having gone from calm to nearly painfully aroused and Rachel's smile widened at the rare sight and feel of her girlfriend throwing a tantrum. The desperation in dark green eyes was nearly palpable; Rachel could taste it on her tongue. "What would it take to get you to finish me?" Quinn purred throatily. A shiver ran through Rachel at the sound, already knowing she had lost the upper hand she had had. "I'll do anything."

She eyed Quinn suspiciously. "Anything?"

Quinn licked her lips slowly, deliberately and Rachel felt herself clench at the sight. "Anything," Quinn cooed sweetly, too sweetly.

She tried to hold her ground. She really did. But—Rachel cursed herself for being so easy. She sucked Quinn's clit harshly once more before pulling away. When she looked back up, Quinn was glaring down at her with dark, narrowed eyes, her nipples hard and just as angry. Rachel resisted the urge to take them into her mouth as she pivoted on the bed, turning around.

Quinn's eyes widened as she watched Rachel turn around. She-she couldn't—there was no way—

Rachel settled down on Quinn backwards. Wet heat came in contact with Quinn's stomach and they both whimpered at the unexpected contact. "This won't take long at all," Rachel muttered to herself with an embarrassed blush. She rose on her hands and knees then scooted up Quinn's body.

"Fuck," Quinn moaned as Rachel's pussy slowly swayed towards her. They had never _done_ this before and her excitement quickly reached near embarrassing levels. She reached out quickly to grab Rachel's hips, guiding her backwards more smoothly.

"Is this okay?" Rachel asked tentatively. She felt Quinn palm her ass roughly and arched her back with a moan.

"More than," Quinn said with a quiet growl. She kneaded Rachel's ass softly before pressing a soft kiss to her folds. "Best Valentine's Day ever," she crooned into Rachel before slowly wiggling her tongue inside.

* * *

><p>Quinn sucked the faint taste of a very familiar and slightly salty <em>something<em> from her bottom lip. Her lips quivered with a smile as she pulled down the street to her house. This was the first Valentine's Day she had had that she actually enjoyed. She didn't have to fake enthusiasm, happiness or love; she actually felt all of those feelings this year with Rachel. Always with Rachel.

The smile that was about to blossom on her face disappeared completely as she spotted a car in her driveway. The same sleek, black car that had been there weeks ago. She groaned in annoyance, pulling up alongside the road and parking there. She killed the engine, brow furrowing as she stared outside the window, wondering what the hell her father could want now.

Opening the door, she stepped outside the car, taking her time with the walk up the driveway before sliding her key into the door and unlocking it.

When she stepped inside, Judy and Russell were sitting at the kitchen table. They were quiet now, though Quinn could guess they had been in deep conversation from the furrow of their brows and the concern shown on her mother's face and, surprisingly, on her father's.

"Hey," Quinn greeted dryly, looking at Judy.

"Hi, Quinn. How was your day?"

She shrugged. "It was good."

"I thought you'd be home earlier," Russell greeted. "I've been here for a while."

"I was busy," she said testily.

"Clearly," was the sarcastic retort.

"Alright, you two," Judy cut in. "You need to get along, especially if you're going to spend more time together, Russell," she finished pointedly, staring across the table at the man in question.

Quinn stilled completely, looking from Judy to Russell before looking at her mother again. "What do you mean?"

Russell sighed, signaling he was going to be the one to explain this. "Have a seat, Quinn."

"No."

He looked at her in shock and annoyance, then his eyes slid to Judy. She shrugged. "She's her own person, Russell. Treat her like that and she'll respect you back."

He seemed to grow angrier with her explanation. Quinn bit back a smug smile as she crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

Russell's eyes flicked to her. "Your mother told me about Yale's admissions office calling about your grades."

Quinn tensed, turning accusatory eyes towards her mother.

"I'm surprised they even called," Russell admitted. "I guess that's a good thing, but even still, it would do you good to make a better impression than your poor grades at the beginning of this year. You need to show your face."

"_Excuse_ me?" Quinn nearly shrieked. She didn't like where this was going, not one bit.

Russell's eyes hardened. "It's not like I like this idea either, but if you're going to get into this school, then you need to start being serious about it."

"What are you even suggesting?"

He looked away from Quinn, staring at his cup of tea as he picked it up and brought it to his lips. He guzzled it as if he was the thirstiest man on earth and Quinn's blood pressure rose in anger at his obvious stalling. He was building up her nerves on purpose and she knew it.

Russell sighed contentedly as he sat the cup back down, grabbing a napkin and dabbing at the corners of his mouth.

"What are you suggesting?" Quinn gritted out, bracing her hands on the table and staring her father squarely in the eye.

Russell stood to his full height, towering over Quinn and subtly putting her back in her place. "We're getting on the first flight to Connecticut Monday and we're visiting the admissions office."

She took a step back, eyes widening and blinking rapidly. "We?" she choked out. "What do you mean _we_?"

"You and me," he replied simply.

Quinn immediately looked to Judy. "You're not coming?"

Judy smiled sadly. "It's too short notice for me to take time off work. Honey, if I thought you'd be in danger in any way, you know I would be going with you." Her eyes flicked to Russell before she looked back at Quinn. "But this is your father, and the two of you have been estranged for long enough."

"Yeah, because he kicked me out of the house when I was sixteen and pregnant."

Russell dropped his gaze briefly, not meeting anyone's eyes as Quinn's words hung heavily and awkwardly in the air.

"You need to get into a school," Judy said finally. "Anything can help, and, since your father will be the one paying for your education, I think the two of you should at least be on speaking terms. So, I'm telling you as your mother and the head of this household to go."

"You can't make me do this," Quinn said forcefully, voice gaining volume.

Judy nodded once. "True. But if you value your future, then you'll do it yourself."

Quinn didn't really have a counterargument and that made her even angrier as her lips pulled back into a sneer. She glowered angrily at her mother, shoulders tightening as her blood boiled. She took a step back from the table and stalked down the hallway and up the stairs. She couldn't even look at her parents right now.


	30. Chapter 30

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N: **This fic always ends up being so much more than I intend it to be. Did not know this chapter was going to end up being this long and emotional. Geez. So, anyway, I have not had the chance to proofread this monster, so I apologize in advance for what I'm sure will be some grammatical/syntax errors.

* * *

><p>Quinn knocked on the door to the Berry household then rocked back on her heels and waited. Tomorrow she was going to be flying to Connecticut with her father and Rachel made her promise to come visit before she left. She was pretty sure some form of pep talk from Rachel was forthcoming about proper etiquette while spending the day with her father, but it was all going to go in one ear and out the other. She wasn't going to play nice with her father the entire trip just because it would make things easier for him. He had been making her life a living hell even <em>before<em> the pregnancy, back when she was Lucy and everyone was dropping not so subtle hints that she needed to lose weight in order to be pretty.

Quinn was just lucky that after a while, she happened to look forward to gymnastics meetings.

The door opened and she effortlessly trained a false smile on her face as Leroy came into view. "Good evening, Leroy."

Leroy smiled down at her and ushered her inside. "Hey, Quinn. How are you?"

"I'm doing well, sir. How are you?" She slid her coat off to hang up, walking further into the house alongside Leroy. She suddenly found herself in a hug, Leroy's long arms wrapping around her comfortingly. She stood there, stunned.

"Rachel's told me everything," Leroy explained. For some reason, instead of unnerving Quinn even more, her tensed shoulders loosened as she sank into Leroy's embrace. It had been so long since a father figure had held her comfortingly that it felt weird yet wholly welcomed. "You know you can talk to either me or Hiram if you need to."

"Thank you," she whispered, slowly returning Leroy's embrace. "I'm fine, though."

Leroy smiled ruefully. "I know, honey. You always are." He pulled back, ruffling her hair and her face pinched in faux annoyance. They both laughed, Quinn lingering with a small smile.

"Is Rachel here?" she asked after a moment.

"In her room."

She wrapped her arms around Leroy once more before walking up the stairs. The door to Rachel's room was closed and Quinn knocked twice before twisting the door knob and slipping inside.

Rachel stood shirtless with her back to the door, bent at the waist at her dresser retrieving a shirt. "Yes, daddy?" she called over her shoulder.

Quinn ran her tongue over her lower lip with a smirk, leaning back against the door as it closed. "You've certainly never called me _that_ before."

Rachel squeaked, feeling heat rise to her face as she quickly spun around to face Quinn. She took one look at her then pulled her shirt roughly over her head before bringing her arms higher in an attempt to shield her hair from Quinn. "What are you doing here?" she shrieked. "You're not supposed to see me like this!"

Her hair looked freshly washed, hanging down her shoulders in tight, bouncy curls that gave her volume. Quinn tilted her head amusedly, blinking several times. "I had no idea your hair was naturally curly," she said teasingly as she walked further into the room.

"Don't come any closer!" Rachel instructed, backing into the dresser while shielding her hair.

"You knew I was coming over."

"I didn't know you'd come this soon!"

Quinn walked closer until she was pressed right up against Rachel. She reached up to grab Rachel by the wrists, pulling her arms away as she stared at her hair in wonder. Dark curls bounced on Rachel's head with as much personality and vitality as its owner. Rachel glared up at her, lips pulled down into an exaggerated pout. "Don't look," she grumbled.

"Why?" Quinn grabbed a lock of her hair, pulling it down and releasing, watching it bounce back into place. "It suits you."

Rachel's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't supposed to see me like this."

"I think your hair is cute," Quinn tried again.

"Really?" she asked tentatively. She was proud of her Jewish heritage, but it was hard to embrace her naturally unruly, curly hair when other girls at her school like Quinn always had sleek and shiny hair that was straight and well behaved. Rachel had been flat ironing until she saw smoke for years now to the point where her own girlfriend didn't even know her natural hair was curly.

Though the way Quinn couldn't seem to keep her hands to herself made her smile. She felt a lock of hair being tugged once again and a smile blossom on Quinn's face as it snapped back into place and bounced for good measure. "I like it." Quinn's eyes squinted as she stared at Rachel's hair. "It's not boring like mine is."

"I love your hair."

Quinn shrugged. "All it does is lie there." She buried her fingers into Rachel's hair to grip tightly, drawing her closer. "Besides, I love this wild look on you," she purred, a smile pulling her lips as a blush crawled along Rachel's cheeks. "You look pretty hot, Berry."

Rachel stood there dumbfounded, only breaking out of her stupor at the sound of Quinn's throaty chuckle as she slinked away to the bed. She watched Quinn recline back and manage to stretch out enough to take up the whole bed. Rachel sighed quietly as she walked towards the bed. "I'm going to miss you." She crawled on the bed and cuddled up beside Quinn, resting on a pillow as she stared at Quinn's profile. "Are you going to miss me?"

Quinn chuckled quietly before turned her head to face Rachel. "Of course I'm going to miss you. It's only a day, though."

"You're going to be on the east coast," Rachel replied wistfully. By this time tomorrow Quinn was going to be the only person Rachel knew to make it out of Lima for a change, aside from when glee club took that trip to New York for Nationals last year. "Say hi to New York for me."

Quinn smiled. "I'll tell it you'll be seeing it soon."

"Please do," Rachel hummed warmly, smiling back. She reached down to grab Quinn's hand, placing a kiss to her open palm. "We're almost there, Quinn."

"I couldn't be happier," Quinn replied.

Rachel traced over the pad of Quinn's fingers, feeling them flex and threaten to curl into the palm of her hand at the ticklish feeling. "Do you want to go to prom?" she asked quietly after a moment, trying for innocuous. She turned to watch Quinn shift on her back and stare at the ceiling.

"Not…really?" Quinn said after a moment. "I'm just…really, really beyond this whole high school thing at this point."

Rachel amusedly recalled the Quinn Fabray she knew sophomore year who was already campaigning for prom queen well before her time. This Quinn was nearly a complete one-eighty, so warm and charming and loving.

"Did you want to go?"

She focused back on the curious frown on Quinn's face and offered a smile. "I don't know. I'd like to dress up. And if we aren't going to prom, then what would we do?"

"Rent a hotel room and have sex in it all day and night?"

Rachel fought back a smile to fix Quinn with a serious stare. "Quinn, be serious."

"Is that a 'no' on the sex, or…?"

"Quinn!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "What have I turned you in to?"

"I just like touching you, is all," Quinn murmured, voice sounding completely innocent as her fingers curled around Rachel's.

Rachel grinned, twisting to lie on her stomach and hover over Quinn. "I like touching you, too," she whispered softly, nuzzling their noses together. "We don't have to go to prom." She felt Quinn deflate in relief below her and arched an eyebrow. "_But_, I'd like you to take me on a date."

Quinn stared up at Rachel's lips, licking her own. "What kind of date?"

Rachel swayed closer until their lips were a scant distance apart. "Dinner, movie, skating, doesn't matter. I just want to be able to go out with my girlfriend—"

"You _do_ know we'd basically be going as friends, though, right?"

"I know," Rachel replied with a roll of her eyes.

Quinn almost smiled. "We're not in New York yet."

"But we will be soon," Rachel purred as she leaned down to kiss Quinn. A hand buried itself in her hair after a moment and she moaned when Quinn tugged on it, pulling her back yet biting her lip and keeping her close at the same time. "Someone's frisky," Rachel breathed when she finally pulled back, staring at Quinn with heavy lidded eyes.

This time Quinn _did_ smile, slow and sensual. "I really like your hair," was all she said.

Rachel rolled her eyes, more at herself for the blush she could feel warming her face.

"You should wear it like this more."

She looked down at Quinn with a rueful smile. "Can't you already hear people at school talking about me now? The Jew girl with the big, Jew nose now has big, Jew hair."

Quinn frowned deeply at Rachel's words, which seemed more of Rachel reflecting on herself after probably having spent years of hearing that. Quinn knew from experience that hair that length took forever to do, and subsequently, she knew Rachel must slave over her hair all the time just to keep from going to school and being made fun of for now it naturally looked.

She reached up, playing with a tendril of hair. "Maybe not in school with those ignorant, close minded buffoons, but…for me. Wear it like this for me sometimes. I like it."

The smile on Rachel's face morphed into a happy one as she leaned down and kissed Quinn again. "Anything for you," Rachel mumbled against her lips. She leaned forward to kiss her again, body sagging softly against Quinn's. Her tongue slowly dragged over Quinn's lower lip before she pulled back. "Have you talked to Shelby yet?" she asked innocuously before diving back in.

Quinn pulled back, head lolling to the side as she wiped her mouth. She turned back around to glare at Rachel. "Nice try," she grumbled.

Rachel winced at her attempt at being covert failing miserably.

"And to answer your question, no." She sighed and stared at the ceiling. "I haven't talked to her."

"You only have—"

"I know exactly how many days I have left with her, Rachel," Quinn replied with a shaky exhale. "I'm well aware."

She nodded hurriedly, feeling like she had stuck her foot in her mouth. Of course Quinn knew; it probably ate her up inside everyday she went without seeing Beth. "Just—the next you go, can I go with you?"

Quinn slowly turned to look at her.

"I want to see her," Rachel finished quietly.

The sudden smile on Quinn's face was simply magnificent as she leaned forward and kissed Rachel firmly.

* * *

><p>Judy smiled, tears prickling her eyes unexpectedly as she tugged at the sides of Quinn's cardigan. "Have a safe flight, Quinn," she whispered.<p>

Quinn didn't even have in her heart to be angry with her mother for sending her on this flight with her father. She was going to miss Judy after they had gotten so close over the past several months. "I will," she mumbled as Judy tugged her into a tight hug. She rested her head on Judy's shoulder, clinging to her because she didn't want to spend the next day with her father no matter how beneficial for her it had the possibility of being. Russell was still the man who disowned her for making one mistake, tossing her out on her ass for getting pregnant. He was more of a monster than a father and she wasn't in the mood for bonding and making up with a man who could get rid of her so easily.

"We better get a move on," Quinn heard Russell call from behind her. "We don't want to miss the flight."

She stiffened and Judy only tightened her hold around her for a moment before pulling back with a careful smile. "Be good, Quinn."

Quinn shrugged off the comment, bending down to grab her bag and tossing it over her shoulder. "See you tomorrow night, mom."

She walked towards Russell's car, depositing her bag in the backseat before sliding into the passenger seat. The window was up, so she couldn't hear Judy and Russell's conversation as she watched them on the doorstep. It was so reminiscent of when they were married that Quinn felt her chest tighten. All that was missing was her sister fighting with her for the passenger seat like when they were younger and this moment would be complete. But her life wasn't like that anymore. Frannie wasn't around and her parents weren't married.

A listless sigh escaped her as she leaned forward to turn the radio down and fastened her seatbelt. She turned to wave goodbye to her mother one last time as Russell slid into the car. He put the car in reverse and gripped the back of Quinn's chair as he looked behind him to carefully pull out of the driveway.

Quinn sunk further into the leather upholstery and stared out the window to the houses they were passing.

Russell grunted as he adjusted his seatbelt, gripping the steering wheel tightly before shooting a look to Quinn with narrowed eyes. "How are you today?"

"Fine," Quinn replied resolutely, not moving an inch.

"Cold?" Russell prompted as he fumbled with the heater.

"No."

He sighed and Quinn continued to stare unblinkingly out of the window. This trip was going to be hell. She just knew it. She grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and clutched it tightly in her grip, debating whether or not to text Rachel. It was probably best considering she was going to be on a plane with no way of communicating with Rachel in about an hour. She typed out the most effective message she could think of right now.

_**Kill me. Now.**_

The heat was beginning to become unbearable and she looked up to find a vent blowing directly in her face. Her gaze darted to her father briefly as she reached out and turned the knob on the vent to the left and off of her. Her phone chirped and she slid it unlock, lowering the volume to vibrate before reading Rachel's message.

_**Baby, it can't be that bad, can it?**_

_**Worse.**_

She cleared her throat, looking back out the window as they passed by buildings. She idly wondered if her father had remarried, whether he had some form of other woman and possibly a child by now. Her gaze slid over to his hands gripping the steering wheel, noticing he wasn't wearing a wedding band.

It was becoming unbearably hot and she tugged at her cardigan as she eyeballed the knob for the heat with contempt. "Can you turn that off?" she asked brusquely.

From the other side of the car, Russell's lips pulled up into a small smile. "Ah, it speaks," he muttered as he turned the knob the opposite way until sweltering heat stopped assaulting Quinn.

Quinn's eyes cut to him sharply, so many words and insults wanting to burst forth from her mouth. Her phone vibrated in her lap and for now she put down her swords to answer it.

_**What is he doing that's so bad?**_

_**Existing?**_

She sighed, suddenly feeling petty for sending that text and slumped back in her seat.

"Talked to Frannie lately?" Russell asked conversationally as he flicked on his signal light and leaned over to glance out of the side mirror.

Quinn glowered at the car ahead of them. "No. I haven't talked to her since she called me two months ago, drunk and crying, apologizing to me because she was your favorite. Turns out your perfect little daughter didn't end up as perfect as you thought she did."

Russell was quick to respond. "I never had any favor—"

"Oh, please," Quinn cut in scornfully, unable to look at him. "She and I always competed for your affection because you couldn't seem to love us both at the same time. It was always one over the other and I was on the losing end all through middle school because of how fat I was."

Russell's jaw clenched tightly as he continued to stare forward. "She drinks?" he asked a moment later.

"Like a fish," Quinn muttered, then in a sickeningly sweet voice and a chilling smile on her face, she turned towards him and said, "But she got it honestly, though, didn't she, daddy?"

Russell didn't respond as they pulled to a smooth stop at a stop light. Quinn looked out the widow, eyes blurring as she wondered just how the hell long it took to get to a fucking airport. She fumbled with her phone as a text message for Rachel came through.

_**I had a dream last night that someone had made Barbra's life into a tell-all musical and I was of course casted as Barbra. :)**_

Quinn chuckled a watery laugh as she read the message, knowing that Rachel was trying to distract her, but playing along anyway.

_**Were you amazing?**_

She could picture Rachel scoffing incredulously as she read the text message.

"Look," Russell said quietly after a moment. "Let's just try to get through this while being as civil towards one another as we possibly can."

"Fine," Quinn muttered. "But you aren't going to sit here and rewrite history by acting like you were some wonderful father who loved me and Frannie equally, because you weren't."

Russell didn't say anything after that and Quinn just grabbed her phone, to read the new text from Rachel.

_**How can you even ask that? I was BRILLIANT, Quinn Fabray.**_

A small smile pulled her lips up as she responded quickly.

_**And how do I fit into this little story of yours?**_

The reply was instantaneous.

_**You were the best part. ;)**_

Quinn licked her lips, crossing her legs as she straightened in her seat, then leaned back more comfortably.

_**You'll have to tell me more than that.**_

She sat back and tried to imagine what Rachel's dream could have possibly been, but it was impossible to predict someone like her girlfriend. So, instead she imagined for herself what the next few years of their life would be like. She had two scenarios: one for if she ended up at NYU and one for if she ended up at Yale.

Her phone buzzed again and she slid it unlock.

_**Well… :)**_

She cursed herself and Rachel for how interested she was in this conversation.

_**Come on. Tell me. :}**_

She used the emoticon that Rachel had come to call her evil smile that she used during text messages to get her way. She looked up to find Russell taking an exit off the highway and sighed in relief. They were close to the airport. Her phone vibrated again and she opened it with a wicked grin as she read it thoroughly.

_**You were front and center watching me perform. Then after my show, you met me backstage with a large bouquet of flowers that smelled amazing. Then…we made love in my dressing room. :)**_

Quinn cleared her throat with a wide grin.

_**Sounds like a good dream. How was I?**_

They pulled into a parking lot, slowing down as Russell searched for a parking space.

_**A very terrific and capable lover, as always. ;)**_

_**And how were you?**_

They pulled into a space and immediately Quinn unbuckled her seatbelt, opening the car door and stepping out.

_**Loving and eager.**_

_**I love when you're eager.**_

She cleared her throat, trying to clear her mind because sexting was most definitely _not_ going to be on the menu while she was going to be sitting beside her father in the airport, waiting for their plane to be called.

_**What are you wearing at school today?**_ was the message she sent to Rachel before grabbing her bag from the backseat and slinging it over her shoulder.

Russell grabbed his bag as well, making his way over from the other side of the car to Quinn.

"What are you doing?" Quinn muttered as he approached. He reached forward to grab her bag and she recoiled instantly. "I got it."

He grabbed it anyway and stared down at her as her grip reluctantly slackened. "I'm not some little girl," she grumbled as he walked away.

"No, you're not," Russell agreed as he tossed her bag over his shoulder. "However, _some_ of us haven't forgotten our manners."

He walked away after that and Quinn stood there dumbfounded as he walked inside the airport. "Wait here," Russell told her as they passed a row of seats. Quinn rocked back on her heels, watching him walk away as she plopped down on a chair. She fished her phone out of her bag to find a text message from Rachel.

_**One of your dresses. ;)**_

An eyebrow arched along her forehead.

_**So, you're finally wearing something the appropriate length to school?**_

Russell sat down directly beside her a moment later and she shifted uncomfortably. She casted a glance down the row of seats, finding them mostly empty. He could have sat in one of those seats, but for whatever reason he chose to sit beside her. She huffed, turning to stare ahead.

She stared at the tiled floors below her, gaze popping up to people watch. There were two women, looking to be around mid-twenties sitting down on the other side of the room. Every once in a while they would touch just a little too intimate. Quinn raised an eyebrow at what she was sure the two women thought was a discrete display. And it was, to anyone other than a fellow lesbian who knew all the signs. She chuckled quietly to herself, eyes straying elsewhere before her vision swam with the flight ticket Russell handed to her. "Thanks," she muttered as she took it.

Russell cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "They're going to call for us soon, so I'd end that conversation with your…girlfriend, if I were you."

Her eyes widened to an impossible size as they dropped down to her lap. She felt so _mortified_ about having her father know. He knew she was gay, hell she had practically shouted to him that she was months ago, but him knowing and acknowledging that she had a girlfriend was something different entirely. Her fingers curled around her phone, knuckles white and tendons flexed. She hated herself for feeling so humiliated instead of feeling proud about her father knowing that she had a girlfriend.

Her phone vibrated against her hand and her fingers slowly unfurled from around the phone to slide it unlock.

_**Haha, very funny. -_- Though I have to admit, it does look good on me.**_

Her throat felt clogged with a bunch of confused emotions as she read the text message. She decided to reply back and end the conversation now before she boarded the plane or texted something to Rachel she'd end up regretting.

_**Hey, look, I have to go. Not allowed to have my phone on on the plane. Anyway, I love you and I'll talk to you soon. And guess what? Apparently my dad knows about us.**_

She looked over briefly to her father, for the first time noticing how he was…very much the same person she had always known. Though he had aged fairly rapidly through the years. His hair was thinning and losing its blonde sheen; his eyes looked weary, yet still held an alertness that was probably never going away no matter how old he became.

Their flight was called and Russell stood abruptly, muttering "Let's go," before walking off. Quinn slid her phone unlock to read one last text message from Rachel before boarding her flight.

_**I love you always. And…well, we can talk about that later. Have a safe flight, baby. :*  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>Rachel chewed on her lower lip nervously as she slid her phone into her bag and walked out of class. She wasn't really sure how to feel about Russell knowing she and Quinn were together. The first thought that slammed into the forefront of her mind was if Russell was somehow going to force her and Quinn to break up. She didn't know the man very well, but from stories Quinn had told her, he seemed to be kind of a monster. The kind of monster who was cunning and manipulative and as much as Quinn acted like she didn't care about her father, Rachel knew Russell still very much had a hold on Quinn and probably would for the rest of her life. Much like Shelby used to have a hold on Rachel, except Russell had been in Quinn's life for the vast majority of it—back when she was a young impressionable girl who looked up to him. Those kinds of feelings never go away no matter how much Rachel knew Quinn liked to pretend they did.<p>

She sighed, clutching her books tighter and walking through the hallway. It felt like freshman year all over again and she felt so much smaller without someone as imposing and larger than life as Quinn Fabray walking by her side. From down the hallway, she spotted the hockey team walking together. The closer they walked towards her, the more what was in their hand revealed itself to her. It was a tall, white cup that immediately shot dread down her spine. She slowed down, walking towards a row of lockers; she had forgotten these things still happened, having not been slushied, besides the one time Santana seemed to have it out for her, in almost a year.

Yet, they walked past her. One of them noticed her, however, and smirked as he walked past. "'Sup, Quinn's girl?"

"I have a name," Rachel grumbled as she glared at their backs.

They continued down the hallway with the slushie in hand and it occurred to Rachel moments later that they hadn't slushied her. Relief then anxiety hit her and she hurried down the hallway, pushing past others to find a freshman boy covered in slush and the hockey team high fiving each other as they walked down the hallway.

Without a thought, Rachel rushed to the boy and, after a second of hesitation, placed her hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," the boy muttered gruffly, endearingly reminding her of Quinn when she was upset about something. She helped the boy lean back against the bulletin board behind him as he wiped at his own eyes.

She frowned in concern. "I wish I had something that could—oh! Here!" She reached towards her neck, removing the scarf she was wearing to cover up the hickey Quinn had given her the night before. "This should help," she said soothingly as she gently patted at his eyes with the scarf.

He wiped his eyes, then slid the scarf down his face, blinking his eyes open wide. "Much better, thanks," he mumbled as his face contorted in what Rachel knew as the 'thawing of the facial muscles' phase. He took one look at her and stuck his hand out. "Thanks…umm…"

"Rachel Berry," she chirped, taking his hand and giving a firm shake. "Future starlet."

He smiled a little. "Anyway, thanks." His eyes roamed over his face to get acquainted with her before he gawked openly at her neck. "Wow, some guy must have done a number on you."

She flushed instantly, rubbing at the bruise on her neck that still tingled. "Yes, well, that guy is a girl—my girlfriend."

His mouth slowly widened to an 'O' shape as he fidgeted with the scarf in his hand. "Oh…so you do that, huh?"

"Do what, exactly?" she asked

"You know, like…" he fumbled for the right word. "Dyke around or whatever."

"_Dyke_?" she nearly shrieked in the crowded hallway. Her eyes widened to slightly crazed levels as she took a step closer and pitched her voice lower to mutter, "I don't call it dyking around. I call it _loving_ my _girlfriend_. Just-just give me that!" She reached out and snatched the scarf from his grip, lips pressed firmly together in irritation.

His hands quickly rose in surrender. "Woah, woah, I didn't mean anything by it. I don't care if you're gay."

He seemed genuine as he leaned back against the bulletin board, smearing slush all over it. Rachel deflated at the sincere look in his eyes. She reached out, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the board. "You're getting it messy," she explained, gesturing to the board behind him when he looked at her suspiciously.

He jammed his hands into his pockets, shoulders rising sheepishly. "Look, I didn't mean to offend you or anyth—"

"It's a derogatory term for lesbianism," Rachel told him quietly. "I'm—my girlfriend and I are a little sensitive about our sexuality because, well, this is Lima, after all."

He nodded, looking down at his shoes then back up to Rachel. "I didn't know this place was against gay people or whatever."

She smiled ruefully. "You wouldn't really know unless you were gay yourself. Or homophobic."

"I'm neither," he said quickly.

"Yeah, I know, I get it. Sorry." She felt a little guilty for practically snapping on him when he apparently meant no harm.

He shifted. "Yeah, no problem. I'm just gonna go clean up." He slipped away before Rachel could even say goodbye and she laughed quietly without humor as she face palmed.

She stepped up to the bulletin board, gathering her scarf in her hand to wipe it clean. A bright, almost neon yellow piece of paper caught her attention. It had the letters 'Audi' on it and Rachel quickly wiped it clean. She knew that word _anywhere_. The word 'Audition' was written across the paper and her eyes quickly roamed over the sheet of paper, soaking up all the information it had to offer.

It was for a commercial selling an acne product. The auditions were today after school and if she got the part, then she would receive a couple hundred dollars and a year's supply of the acne cream. Not that she needed the cream anyway. But she needed _exposure_. And, with the offer for an audition literally in her hand, she skipped happily to class.

* * *

><p>Quinn tugged her earbuds out of her ear with a listless sigh. In a couple of hours she'd be in New Haven, rushing to Yale to plead her case to a bunch of people who didn't even know her. And the worst part was that she didn't know why she even cared. For some reason the possibility of not getting into Yale made her uneasy.<p>

Her head lolled to the side to stare at her father. He was reading _Time Magazine_, humming quietly to himself the way he used to do when he'd read at home. Her eyes dropped to his left hand again before looking back up to him. "Are you still dating her?" she asked quietly.

She watched the way he patiently tucked his thumb between the pages he was on before closing the magazine and it was so familiar and brought back all of these _feelings_ she had spent two years trying to forget.

"Dating who?" he asked, eyebrow cocked along his forehead.

Pressure built behind her eyes as they roamed all over his familiar face. "That…_tattooed freak_," she choked out, recalling her mother's words from two years ago during Regionals when she dropped the bombshell on Quinn that her father had been cheating on her, right before Quinn went into labor with the greatest miracle of her life.

Recognition flickered in Russell's eyes before his gaze dropped down to the magazine in his lap. "No," he answered quietly. "No, I'm not."

"Was she worth it?" Quinn spat.

The same listless sigh that escaped her a few minutes ago escaped him now as he forced his eyes to meet Quinn's. "No, she wasn't."

Those three words seemed to breathe validation through her as she stared hard at the way her father's face morphed into _unfamiliar_ regret and guilt before his features smoothed over completely and he turned away, back to his magazine.

But Quinn wasn't done. She had spent two years trying and failing to forget about the man who once kept their dysfunctional family together, tear it completely apart from the inside out. Now she wanted answers, deserved them on behalf of herself and on behalf of her mother.

She looked up to the stewardess passing them, waiting until she was out of earshot before looking back at her father. "If she wasn't forth it, then why did you sleep with her?" she hissed angrily.

Russell looked back over at her. "I—"

"If she wasn't worth it, then why did you throw away your _family_ that _you_ made just for some _floozy_!"

Her voice, strong yet shaky, shook them both into silence. Quinn leaned back in her seat, mouth gently opening and closing as if she couldn't decide whether or not to apologize for her outburst.

Russell cleared his throat, taking the opportunity from her as he spoke. "There isn't really an excuse for what I did," he said with surprising confidence that almost brooked no apology. "I can't blame my actions on being young and stupid. I don't believe in the whole 'sex addict' trend that's been going around lately as an excuse to not exercise control over your own body." He stopped abruptly. His lips pursed in thought before he looked back at Quinn. "I had spent nearly thirty years turning Judy from who she was—a compassionate, caring woman, into someone I wanted her to be—a woman who didn't talk about her feelings, didn't ask questions, and didn't ask me about my own." He sighed wearily. "And it worked for both of us and even for you girls fairly well."

Quinn snorted indelicately at that, shaking her head.

"It worked until I had a problem," Russell continued quietly. "I had an issue and…I didn't know how to talk to her about it. And I strayed. There is no excuse for what I did, and I won't sit here and make one."

"Are you even sorry for what you did?" Quinn asked incredulously. "Are you sorry for cheating on my mother? Are you sorry for kicking me out when I was pregnant?" Her lower lip trembled as Russell turned away to glare at the seat in front of him. "Are you even sorry for telling me _yes_ when I asked for a nose job instead of just telling me that I—I don't know—I'm _beautiful_…_regardless_ of how I looked?" she finished, dredging up old wounds that never healed.

A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly turned away towards the window, wiping furiously at her eyes. She felt like such a mess, thousands of feet in the air with no escape, sitting next to the man who could still manage to pull emotions from her like loose teeth.

She curled up next to the window, fumbling with her earbuds as she tried to put them in her ear.

"Yes," she heard Russell murmur before she put them in and blasted music to drown out her own quiet hiccupping breaths and Russell's ever present stoic regret.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, I'm so nervous," Rachel said quietly, bouncing from foot to foot in anxious excitement as she stood in line for auditions for the commercial. She had brought her best friend with her and was currently crushing his hand in her grip as she impatiently waited for her name to be called.<p>

Kurt looked around at the line of girls, then turned back to Rachel. "So, listen, when you get inside, ask them if they'd like a boy to be in their commercial."

Rachel scoffed with a roll of her eyes as she released her grip on his hand to unfurl her script and read over it one more time. "I learned all of these lines in less than five hours, Kurt." She preened as she speedily ran over them. "I'm kind of awesome."

"It's only three pages of dialogue," he drawled sarcastically.

She scowled up at him. "Just for that, I won't ask them if they need a male for their commercial."

He pouted down at her as a girl walked out of the double doors with a frown on her face. Two other girls met her at the door with arms extended. "What's wrong?" one of them, a tall blonde, asked who Rachel assumed was her friend.

"I didn't get it," the girl wailed as they all walked away.

Rachel couldn't find it in her heart to feel too sympathetic towards the girl as she walked away. This was essentially the realm of audition she was in now. A very cut throat world of competition and occasional backstabbing, and, after sending a girl to a crackhouse—a _non-active_ crackhouse, in Rachel's defense—she was pretty sure she was built for things like this.

"Next up," a man from inside the room called into a microphone, "Rachel Berry."

She squealed in excitement and overwhelming nervousness as she wrapped her arms tightly around Kurt's neck. "I'm up! I'm up!"

"Yeah, and you better go now before you lose your chance," he replied asmusedly as she took off into the room. "Good luck!"

Rachel walked in quickly, placing a résumé on the table. "Good afternoon, my name is Rachel Berry and I will be auditioning for the role of…" she spoke rapidly, looking down briefly at her script before glancing back up with a wide smile, "girl with bad acne."

The man she had handed her résumé to stared at it with interest before looking back up with an amused smile. "You do know that these weren't necessary, right?" he said as he waved the paper in his hand.

"I believe that one can never be too prepared. This is just the first stop in my future long-running Broadway career and it's imperative that I begin my résumé now and build it from the ground up." She flashed another face breaking smile.

He smiled, sitting back in his seat as he glanced down at her résumé again. "Alright, let's see what you've got." He handed the paper down to the other man and woman at the table as Rachel began.

Rachel touched her nose as the directions in the script stated before exaggeratedly declaring, "Oh, _no_! I have a pimple on my face and the school dance is less than three days away! I can't be seen with this embarrassment on my face." She gestured with her hand to an imaginary product at her side. "Luckily, I have Neutrogena to take all my worries away! With just applying Neutrogena every day before the dance, my pimple decreased in size until it was gone! Wow! Just three days and poof! It's gone!"

The man who had handed down her résumé looked at her as if he was impressed. "You memorized the entire script."

She nodded rapidly. "In less than five hours. I found the offer to audition from my school bulletin board today and printed off your script from your website. I spent the day memorizing it in class, then at home and—here I am!" she said with a smile and a helpless shrug.

He smiled back at her before looking to his colleagues, then back at Rachel. "Give us just one second." He went back to huddle with his friends as the three of them whispered amongst each other.

They reminded Rachel of Simon, Paula, and Randy and she suddenly felt like she was on _American_ _Idol_, waiting to hear whether or not she was going to get the chance to go to Hollywood.

A moment later, the three of them leaned back into their own seats. The man who Rachel had been talking to didn't look too happy as he waved a hand at the woman beside him to continue. She leaned forward in her seat, addressing Rachel calmly. "Raquel—"

"Rachel," she corrected confidently.

"Rachel, while you are an amazing candidate for this commercial, you don't have…the look we're going for."

"The look?" Rachel repeated in confusion. "Your ad said you wanted someone with a clear, acne free face and I have that."

The woman nodded slowly in patronizing understanding. "Yes, that is true. But we're also looking for someone with a more, how can I say this?"

"Relatable," the man beside her piped up. "We're looking for a young girl with a relatable face. And you…" he trailed off with a sigh. "You're great, wonderful even, and I'm sure you'll have other opportunities, but this one isn't it. We're sorry, Rachel. Thank you for coming."

She didn't understand. She had done everything they had wanted her to do, yet they were sitting here telling her no. She had a clear, acne free face, she had memorized her lines, she had a fucking résumé for goodness sakes. Why weren't they giving her the part?

"I'm afraid I don't understand," she intoned in a voice that bordered on upset as her eyes switched from person to person at the table.

"You look too…different," the woman blurted out as gently as she could after a moment. "Your nose is—we're targeting a certain demographic and—"

"And they don't look like me?" Rachel asked, scorn creeping into her tone as she walked closer. She came to a stop at the table, feeling embarrassed as she stared at the fair haired, pale skinned woman who had just told her no.

She walked away abruptly, her feet carrying her quickly to the exit. Was _this_ also what auditioning was like? She could take the competition, she could take the backstabbing, but she couldn't take someone telling her that she wasn't able to get a part based on her _nose_ or _face_ of all things. It should be based off of _talent_ and she had that in spades.

She _knew_ she should have gotten that nose job. She shouldn't have listened to Quinn when she had told her no because Quinn had _no_ _idea_ what it was like to have a nose like this and be told no to her face because of it.

Something akin to a sob escaped her as she made it to the door and pushed it open. She found Kurt on the other side and instantly collapsed into his arms.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked confusedly.

"I didn't get it," she whispered, unconsciously mimicking the girl she had felt no sympathy for just ten minutes prior who had uttered the same words.

"Miss Berry? Miss Berry!"

Reluctantly, Rachel pulled herself away from Kurt to find the man who had been toying with her résumé as if he was actually going to give her the part walking towards her.

He still had that damn piece of paper in his hand and that damn smile on his face as he came to a stop in front of her. "Maria, huh?"

She eyed him suspiciously, slowly turning around towards him. "It was a school production, but yes. I was Maria."

He nodded with that same smile. "You're sure you want to be on Broadway?"

Her lips turned downwards. "If you've come out here to just crush my dreams of that too because my nose is apparently too large to sell acne cream, then—"

"No, no, no." He chuckled, smoothing his hair back from his face. "I just—are you going to New York after you graduate? I have a brother out there who bounces from play to play as a casting crew member because he has a good eye for good work ethic and talent."

Rachel floundered where she stood as hope began to pour into her heart. From behind her, Kurt brought his hand to his face in disbelief as the man in front of them grabbed a pen from his pocket, folded Rachel's résumé in half and wrote a nine digit number on it.

"My name is John Lackey and my brother's name is—"

"Jason Lackey," Kurt breathed in awe. "Holy crap, Rachel, he isn't joking!"

John laughed at their antics. "No joke," he said as he handed Rachel's résumé back to her. "That's his number. Call him and tell him I referred you to him. Nothing's guaranteed, but going into the Broadway world with a contact in your back pocket is better than nothing."

Rachel gawked at him in surprise and gratitude as she wrapped her arms around him without warning. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she squealed.

* * *

><p>"Hello, I'm Quinn Fabray. I'm here to speak with Mrs. Waters," Quinn said evenly as she stared at a woman behind a desk in admissions whose name flashed as Mrs. Johnson from her nametag.<p>

Mrs. Johnson looked up at her abruptly from over the frame of her glasses. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No," Quinn drawled slowly, suddenly feeling unprepared and foolish. "You see, she called me almost a week ago about my application and my father thought it would be wise to come in and have a face to face meeting with her."

Mrs. Johnson's expression didn't change as she said, "I'm afraid she won't be able to see you now."

"Ma'am, please," Quinn pleaded quietly. "I flew in all the way from Ohio just to see her because I…I want to go to this school." She was surprised the words even came from her own mouth but at the minute change in Mrs. Johnson's facial expression, Quinn kept going. "I would love the opportunity to study here, so can I please, please speak with Mrs. Waters?"

Mrs. Johnson sighed before grabbing her phone. Quinn listened intently as Mrs. Johnson let out a chorus of 'Okay's' and "Mhm's' before hanging up the phone. "She'll see you in ten minutes, Miss Fabray. Now, please have a seat."

Quinn smiled gratefully, nodding as she walked across the room and sat beside her father. "She said I get to see her in ten minutes."

Russell nodded as he reacquainted himself with the lobby he was in. "It's been a while," he sighed out. "After your meeting we can tour the campus. Take a look at their music hall, and…maybe look at their art facilities."

Quinn's lips pulled into a slow smile. "I'd like that." Her gaze jerked to the left as a door opened. A girl wearing a pair of skinny jeans, Converse, and a tank top and cardigan walked into the room. She was clearly a student and for a moment Quinn wondered what dorm life here felt like. "Do you think I'll get in?" she asked Russell.

"If you play your cards right," Russell answered immediately. "We have the money, you have the grades and attendance…now. All you have to do is be respectful and give them a good enough reason for your behavior at the beginning of the year."

She nodded thoughtfully, sinking back in her chair as she mulled over what to do. The thought of actually being _truthful_ had occurred to her, albeit briefly. The thought of telling someone she didn't even know her life's story was quite possibly the most unappealing thing she could think of. Mrs. Waters would judge her, as if she even _knew_ Quinn's struggle or what she had been through. What was even the point of telling the truth if she didn't even get in?

The door opened again and Quinn turned towards it to find a tall, older woman walk out of it. "Quinn Fabray," she called out into the room.

Quinn stood nervously. "I'm here." She walked towards the woman who held the door open for her to walk in.

"Hello, Quinn, I'm Mrs. Waters." The woman extended her hand and Quinn shook it firmly, meeting her eyes with confidence she hardly felt on the inside.

"My office is this way," Mrs. Waters said as she walked down the hallway. They made a right into her office and Quinn hesitantly sat down in front of Mrs. Waters's desk as Mrs. Waters sat behind it. "Good afternoon, Quinn."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Waters." Her hands fidgeted under the desk as she smiled. "This campus is lovely; I do hope I get the chance to attend school here."

Mrs. Waters smiled. "Straight to the point, I see. Good. I like that." She grabbed a small stack of papers from the side of her desk and stacked them neatly before sitting them down. "This is your application, Quinn."

Quinn glanced down at the papers, then back up at Mrs. Waters. "I see."

"Now, Quinn, as I've stated over the phone, your grades and attendance up until the beginning of this year have been superb. And lately they have been superb. However, there was a two month stretch in which things took a dramatic plummet. I called and asked for an explanation and your explanation was…vague at best, so—"

"I can explain better," Quinn said quietly. She shifted in her seat, biting her lip as she met Mrs. Waters eyes. "My father and I jumped on a plane and flew all the way here just so I could plead my case because he really wants me to go here since he went here and…so do I."

Mrs. Waters hummed thoughtfully. "An alum."

Quinn nodded. "Russell Fabray."

Something flickered in Mrs. Waters's deep brown eyes as she sat back in her seat as if getting comfortable and motioned for Quinn to continue.

Quinn licked her lips, staring down at her fidgeting hands. "I—when I was sixteen, I got pregnant," she whispered. She looked up quickly, eyes blazing as she said, "Up until that point, I was perfect, Mrs. Waters. I made perfect grades, I was president of the celibacy club as you know. And I was captain of the Cheerios. I was a regular attendee of my church; I gave tithes and offerings faithfully." She shrugged helplessly. "I did everything that was asked of me, everything that was _expected_ of me. I jumped through hoops to make my parents happy. And I made one mistake. _One_." She blinked rapidly, staring at the way Mrs. Waters lips pulled down into a sympathetic frown as she continued. "I had sex _one_ time, and I got pregnant. And I got…kicked off the Cheerios, out of the celibacy club, out of my own _home._"

Her eyes darted away from Mrs. Waters and out of the window behind her, watching the sun brighten up the sky. She couldn't handle looking at Mrs. Waters when she felt stripped bare in the most unlikely of places. "I gave my baby up for adoption because I wanted her to have a better life than what I could give her," she whispered as her lips trembled. She shook her head minutely as she whispered, "I never felt the same after that. And, two years later, I was acting out because, Mrs. Waters, I never _dealt_ with what happened to me. I pushed it aside and I strived every day to get what I had lost back. I had the Cheerios, I had glee club, I had celibacy club, but I _did_ _not_ have my daughter and it _killed_ me. So, I did the stupid thing. I acted out. I acted out because-because—" she fumbled, tears spilling down her face as she recalled her life over the summer and the beginning of the school year. "I wanted someone to _notice_ that I was _hurting_, Mrs. Waters. I _hurt_, and it seemed like no one cared."

Her head bowed as tears spilled down her cheeks and into her lap. She heard some fumbling over at the desk, then the next thing she saw were tissues dangling in front of her face. She grabbed at them with a murmured "Thank you" as Mrs. Waters settled back down in her seat.

Quinn wiped at her face with a long sigh. This year, hell the last two years of her life had felt like such a fucking rollercoaster. But it was almost over; she was so, so _close_.

"What finally got you to turn your life around?" Mrs. Waters uttered after a long moment.

"My mother," Quinn answered, a surprised lilt in her voice as she spoke. Then she chuckled a watery laugh, recalling the very day Judy changed her life forever. "She lit a fire under me, that's for sure," she finished with a fond laugh.

Mrs. Waters smiled slightly.

"Ever since then I've been in school. And I've improved my grades. And I…I even got the chance to be in my daughter's life," she murmured. She sighed, chest constricting as she suddenly felt the urge to see Beth, especially since the days were really starting to wind down.

Mrs. Waters was silent for a moment, giving Quinn the chance to collect herself before speaking again. "And nothing like this will happen again? Quinn, this is a very prestigious school; we can't afford to admit a student whose academic performance is so heavily contingent upon their own feelings."

"It won't happen again," Quinn replied with confidence in her voice she lacked moments ago. "That much I can promise. I've dealt with those…issues. And more importantly, I've learned that just because my life isn't going the way I want it, doesn't mean I get to act out in immature ways. I've learned Mrs. Waters; I promise I have."

Mrs. Waters stared at her intently and Quinn held her gaze unwaveringly. "Okay," she sighed, taking a stand. Quinn followed suit. "It was nice meeting with you, Quinn. Expect to hear from us soon."

She stuck her hand out and Quinn reached out to grab it, shaking firmly with a small smile.

* * *

><p>They had rented a hotel room for the night. Russell's feet were killing him after the tour of the school and for some reason, Quinn couldn't find it in her to say no when he looked over at her wearily and asked her if they could rent a room for the night.<p>

Right now she was on the balcony, overlooking New Haven and all it had to offer as she laid reclined on a lawn chair. Today had been…not too bad, if she had to admit it. She had cried more than she wanted to, but at least there was a purpose behind her tears this time instead of just frustration and anger at how her life turned out to be. Which, wasn't that bad, all things considered. She had a wonderful girlfriend, a mother who she had patched things up nicely with, and a father who…was going to be paying for her future education, if nothing else.

Speaking of her girlfriend…

Her phone chirped to life, the chorus from _The Scientist_ by Coldplay playing as Quinn stared down at a picture of her and Rachel before sliding her phone unlock and answering the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Quinn."

Quinn immediately frowned in concern. "You sound upset."

"I'm not, I just…can you tell me I'm pretty?"

Sometimes their lives paralleled so much, it was scary. Quinn's eyes clenched shut as a stab of pain sliced through her heart at the defeated sound of Rachel's voice. Rachel reminded her so much of herself more often than not. And, remembering how her father failed to make her feel better years ago, she addressed Rachel with as much conviction as she could. "Rachel, I think you're pretty. So beautiful."

A bitter chuckle wafted through her ears. "Don't lie to me, Quinn."

"Don't call me a liar, Rachel," Quinn shot back as she sat up in her seat. "You're beautiful. You know that. I've told you that and I've told you not to let anyone make you think otherwise." Her grip tightened around the phone. "What idiot in school told you you're not?"

From hundreds of miles away, Rachel stared at the piece of paper with the number written down on it. "No one from school," she sighed. "I just…"

"Tell me, Rachel," she heard Quinn forcefully say.

She sighed. "I auditioned for a commercial today, and…why did you tell me not to get a nose job?"

Her tone sounded accusatory and completely caught Quinn off guard, confusing her to no end. "Because you're pretty without it," she said softly.

"Yeah, well, you're the only one who thinks so," Rachel grumbled.

Quinn licked her lips, brow furrowing as she tried to piece two and two together. "Did you not get the commercial because of your nose or something?" she asked.

It took Rachel a long time to answer and when she did, it was a quiet, defeated, "Yes."

Quinn frowned deeply. "Baby, I'm sorry you didn't get the part."

"I should have gotten that nose job," Rachel muttered disdainfully.

Quinn stared helplessly into the night, understanding Rachel's side, but still feeling compelled to say, "Trust me, Rachel, no you shouldn't have. You should know that you're pretty regardless."

"How do you know?" Rachel shot back. "You have the most perfect nose I have _ever_—"

"I have…the most manufactured nose you've ever seen," Quinn uttered shakily as she continued to stare out into nothing.

Rachel said nothing for a long while. She touched a hand to her mouth in surprise. "W-what?" she whispered.

Quinn's eyes clamped shut, wanting to take everything she had said back. But this was her girlfriend who was feeling insecure and maybe sharing her own insecurities would make Rachel feel better. "Umm…yeah. I—" she laughed derisively because, where the hell does she begin? "I had a nose job when I was in middle school."

"Why?" Rachel instantly asked, dropping the paper in her hand onto the bed and clutching her phone tighter. "Did you break your nose?"

Quinn scoffed. "More like, my nose was too fucking big."

"I didn't even know it was legal for someone so young to get such a surgery for…purely aesthetic reasons."

"You have to get a parent to consent, which, mine did," Quinn replied with a wry chuckle. "My father said I could get the surgery because I felt so fat and ugly."

Rachel frowned mournfully. "And instead of just telling you you were beautiful the way you were, he allowed you to get the surgery," she guessed astutely.

Quinn sighed heavily into the phone as she looked over to her father inside of the room, sleeping safe and sound. "Rachel, I think you're beautiful—the reason why I didn't let you go through with that surgery is because you…you are so much _stronger_ than I ever was or will ever be. And you just needed to be reminded of that."

Rachel swallowed thickly, a lump of emotion sliding down her throat. This moment felt so _candid_ and raw between them and the only thing she wanted more than anything right now was to curl up with Quinn and kiss her.

"Baby?" she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Can you kiss me and tell me I'm pretty?"

Quinn chuckled with a head nod that she knew Rachel couldn't see. "Tomorrow," she promised.

There would probably come a day when she would feel comfortable enough with Rachel to open up about her past from the ages of five to fifteen when her life was so topsy turvy and all she chased after was being her father's favorite. But for now, this little bit was enough.

"Tell me I'm pretty," Rachel giggled a long moment later into the phone.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Tell me _I'm_ pretty."

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever met," Rachel said sincerely.

"You're beautiful," Quinn countered quietly. "Inside and out."


	31. Chapter 31

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>There was a long, crisp white envelope sitting snuggly in her mailbox exactly on March sixth the way it was supposed to. Rachel grinned widely as she snatched the envelope away, closing the mailbox and locking away the rest of today's mail. She ran up the driveway at top speed, heart rate accelerating with every step she took. She flung the house door open and ran inside, skirting to a stop in the kitchen where Leroy was putting his apron on.<p>

"It's here!" she yelled breathlessly. "It's here, it's here, it's here!"

Leroy turned to engage her in conversation, but Rachel had already taken off into the living room. "Dad, dad, it's here!"

Hiram was off the couch immediately, ready to jump up and down with his daughter, but Rachel ran away and into the dining room. "It's here!" she shouted.

"We know; we've been trying to track you down," Leroy grumbled as he and Hiram finally caught up with Rachel, approaching her from opposite sides. Rachel stared down at the envelope in her hands in excitement and apprehension. This was it. Her future was going to be decided, was _already_ decided, technically. It was just a matter of opening it and seeing for herself. Her hands trembled the longer she held her future in them.

"Open it," Hiram urged.

Rachel immediately handed it over to him with wide, nervous eyes. "You open it."

"Alright," he said as he began tearing at the envelope.

"No, I want to open it," Rachel rushed out as she snatched it away.

"Come on, Rachel. We're nervous," Leroy told her.

"_I'm_ nervous," she stressed. "You guys aren't the one whose life depends on this."

"No, no, dear, just our money," Hiram replied sarcastically.

Rachel placed the envelope neatly on the polished dining room table. Then she quickly picked it back up. "Maybe Quinn can open it. I'm too nervous," she whined. She backed away from the table, stomping towards the stairs, upset with herself for being too afraid to open the letter.

"Where are you going?" Leroy asked incredulously.

"To call Quinn, daddy. I'll be back." With that, she walked up the stairs without another word. She closed the door to her room, then flung her bag and herself onto her bed. A corner of the envelope had bent in her haste and she silently cursed herself, straightening it back out as much as she could. She lied down on her bed, staring at her future. It felt like a fifty-fifty chance at this point. She was either going to NYADA in the fall, or she wasn't. It was that simple. But her stomach churned with nervousness regardless. She fumbled her phone out of her bag and quickly dialed Quinn's number, gluing the phone to her ear as it rang.

The first, second, third, and fourth ring went unanswered until finally the voicemail greeted her. "Baby," Rachel whined into the phone. "Where are you? Call me back."

She hung up the phone with an impatient huff, glaring down at the white envelope that was mocking her every move. She just wanted to _know_ already, but was too terrified to actually open the envelope and peek inside. Rachel swiped up the envelope from off the bed and headed towards the door.

As soon as she stepped out into the hallway, her phone started ringing again and she clenched the envelope in her hand as she dashed towards her bed to pick it up. "Hello?" she greeted breathlessly.

"Hey, Rachel—you called?"

"Yes, yes, hi, baby," she stammered quickly. "Where are you?"

"At work," Quinn sighed.

Rachel frowned in confusion. "Why are you still working? The year is almost over, enjoy it."

"Because I don't want to spend my father's money," Quinn grumbled. "Whether he's paying for my education or not."

She almost smiled at how endearingly bull headed her girlfriend was. "I have something to tell you," she murmured, clutching the phone closer to her.

"Okay, but could you make it quick? I'm not on break or anything."

"I got my letter from NYADA!" Rachel shouted into the phone enthusiastically. "I have it, I have it, I have it!"

She barely heard Quinn expressing congratulatory marks over the ringing of her own ears and the loud pounding of her heart that had jumped so far up her throat, she could only croak out her excitement. "I have it, Quinn."

"What's it say?" Quinn asked excitedly. "Come on; tell me."

"I haven't opened it yet," Rachel admitted sheepishly.

"Why!"

It wasn't even a question, just an exclamation of sheer outrage.

"Because!" Rachel lamely defended. "I'm nervous, Quinn!"

"Baby, just open the letter," Quinn coaxed. "I'm right here."

"You're not right here," she grumbled. "You're across town smelling like deep fried grease."

"Ass," Quinn scoffed as Rachel giggled. "I can come over after work and be right beside you when you open it if you want."

Rachel smiled. "I'd like that. When do you get off?"

"Two more hours."

"_Two_? Quinn!" She stared down longingly at the increasingly crumpled envelope resting on her bed. "I can't wait that long," she whined.

"Then open it _now_," Quinn told her, logically.

"I can't now; I'm nervous!"

"Rachel," Quinn sighed in exasperation. "We're getting nowhere here. Either open it now, or I'll come over when I get off and open it for you."

She chewed on her lower lip in thought as she stared down at the envelope. She could either open it herself, and bounce around with her fathers and Quinn on the phone with joy if she got in, or cry alone in her room if she didn't. Or she could wait for Quinn to get off work, have her open it, and celebrate with the three most important people in her life if she got in, or make Quinn hold her as she cried.

"I'll wait until you get here," she sighed. "Just…hurry up!"

"I'll speed on the way over."

"Don't get into an accident! Love you!" She hung up the phone and grabbed the envelope, running down the stairs. "I've decided to wait until Quinn gets here."

"Are you serious?" Hiram griped. "What happened to college acceptance being a thing parents shared with their children?"

"Said _children_ got a girlfriend," Leroy said with a toss of his hand. He smiled teasingly at Rachel before looking towards Hiram. "She's a very predictable young girl, you know."

"I'm right here," Rachel said flatly. She pulled up a chair at the table her fathers were sitting at and sat down, placing the envelope in front of her. "I'm just nervous."

"We know, honey," Leroy soothed. "Just know that…whatever happens, Hiram and I are proud of you."

"So very proud," Hiram agreed. "You're the most successful daughter we have."

Rachel rolled her eyes at the old joke. "I'm the only daughter you have."

"You don't know that," Leroy teased.

From his side of the table, Hiram laughed as he and Leroy exchanged teasing glances. Rachel scoffed at their old joke, but looked to both of her fathers with a fond smile. She desperately hoped the envelope lying on the table was her ticket out of Lima, but she was going to miss her fathers dearly. She was going to miss Leroy's cooking and Hiram's overprotectiveness and it was just dawning on her how much. Pressure began to build behind her eyes as she looked towards both of her fathers. Her lower lip quivered the barest hint before she pursed her lips tightly together. "I'm really…" She whimpered, gesturing vaguely with her hands. "If I get in, I-I'm going to miss you guys so much."

A tear slid down her cheek but Leroy was already there, wiping it away. "I'm gonna miss you," she whined, flinging herself into Leroy's arms.

Leroy casted a sad smile over Rachel's shoulder to Hiram who was rising out of his seat. "We'll miss you, too, honey."

"But being in New York is better than being here, right?" Hiram asked. "Because if not, I'm more than happy with you staying here."

A laugh wheezed from Rachel's throat as hot tears splashed down her face and onto Leroy's shoulder. "I'm going, dad. If they'll have me, that is. I just—why can't you guys come, too?"

"Sell the house and move all the way to New York?" Leroy asked in bemusement.

"Don't make it sound impossible," Rachel grumbled as she pulled back. She stared up at him, eyelashes covered in tears. "I'm going to miss you guys so much if I get in."

"When you get in."

"She's already in," Hiram piped up, then grumbled, "If only she'd open that letter."

"When Quinn gets here, dad," Rachel said, whipping around to face him. "She's my rock."

Hiram rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't do that," Leroy scolded with a laugh. "You were just like her when we were her age."

"I was not!" he scoffed.

"I believe daddy," Rachel replied resolutely.

Leroy leaned down towards Rachel. "Once, he broke his arm and had to go to the doctor. He told his mom to wait in the waiting room and made me come with him to hold his hand as the doctor fitted him for a cast," he whispered.

"All lies!" Hiram said with a laugh.

Rachel giggled. "How did you break your arm, dad?" She didn't want to say, but she imagined her father to be too delicate to do anything worthy of breaking a bone.

Hiram playfully glared at them both, red-faced. "I was…holding some bags, and—"

"Fell down three steps and landed pretty harshly on his arm," Leroy finished. "Whined about it for weeks."

Rachel pouted sympathetically, clutching a hand to her chest. "Dad, that must have hurt." Her lips twitched as she fought back laughter bubbling in her chest.

Hiram threw his hands up. "I don't have to deal with this!" He stomped up the stairs as Rachel and Leroy laughed from the table.

"That was mean, daddy," Rachel gently chastised.

"I didn't do anything!" Leroy defended.

She smiled warmly at her father as he leaned further back in his seat. She reached out and clasped his hand. "I'm going to miss you, daddy."

"I'll miss you, too, sweetheart." His head lolled to the side to face her. "You've grown up so much this year, you know."

Her smile grew. "Really?"

"Yep. I know that Hiram and I have raised a very smart and capable young adult." He smiled at her. "Just don't forget us when you become this big, successful star."

"As if," she scoffed. "I'll thank the two of you in all of my award speeches."

"And make sure Quinn always treats you right," he said sternly.

"She will, daddy," Rachel said surely.

"And just…when I visit and she's there, could you—will the two of you just _please_ keep from having me to walk in on…" he trailed off meaningfully, giving Rachel a very serious look.

She flushed under his scrutiny, ducking her head. "We'll try to be discrete," she mumbled.

"That's all I ask." He stood up, the chair creaking as he scooted it back. "Now, since you refuse to open up the letter until your 'rock' gets here, I'm going to go see what your father's doing." He ruffled Rachel's hair as he walked away. "Good luck, sweetheart. Though, you won't need it."

Rachel beamed up at him as he walked away. "Thanks, daddy." Her eyes strayed back to the envelope on the table. She flexed her aching fingers that wanted to rip that envelope to shreds and read the letter inside. This was her ticket, her one step closer to Broadway, to the EGOT, to _everything_. It was here and she was just sitting around staring at it, paralyzed in both excitement and fear for what laid inside.

There was a part of her that couldn't help but wonder if Shelby would be proud of her right now. Between having the contact of a casting agent and the letter to NYADA lying on the dining room table, she was doing pretty well for herself right now. Maybe Shelby really would be proud of the way she was slowly paving a road for herself. Not to mention she owed Shelby a thank you for the recommendation if she in fact did get into NYADA.

Rachel suddenly jumped, startled as someone pounded loudly on the door.

"Who is it?" Hiram rushed out as he and Leroy ran down the stairs.

Rachel slowly got out of her seat as Hiram pushed Leroy closer to the door. "I don't know," she mumbled, half curious, half scared.

Leroy's eyes narrowed into slits as he peered out of the peephole. Then he scoffed, looking back at Rachel and Hiram in exasperation. "It's our other daughter."

Rachel grinned.

She ran towards the door just as Leroy opened it and crash landed directly into Quinn. "Hi! You're here early!"

Quinn grunted from the impact, rubbing her head from where Rachel had headbutted her. "It's not cute when you do that anymore," she grumbled, voice teetering on a whine as her head pounded.

Rachel didn't even flinch from the impact. "Don't be a baby, Quinn. Now, come in." She grabbed her hand and hurriedly pulled Quinn inside. "I got my letter!" she squealed.

Quinn turned back to where Leroy was following behind them. "How have you dealt with this for the past hour?"

Leroy chuckled. "Hasn't been easy."

"I hear you two," Rachel said, scowling at the both of them. She tugged on Quinn's hand until Quinn was sitting down beside her. "What are you doing here so early? Not that I'm complaining." She was practically bouncing around in her seat as she looked towards Quinn with gleaming eyes.

"I took off work," Quinn replied. Then she rolled her eyes. "They're so going to fire me."

Rachel patted her hand. "That's okay, baby. Give me about ten years and you'll never have to work again."

Quinn couldn't fight away the bashful smile that blossomed on her face as she forced herself to look away from earnest brown eyes. "Yeah, well…"

"Girls, while I find your flirting adorable…when it doesn't go too far," Hiram said, eying the both of them, "I need to find out whether or not my baby got into NYADA. And since Quinn is finally here, will you do us the honors?"

Quinn looked around to find everyone suddenly looking at her. "Me?" she squeaked.

Rachel smiled adoringly at her. She picked up the letter and handed it to Quinn. "Baby, open this, please."

"You're her rock," Leroy sing-songed.

A small, embarrassed blush touched both girls' cheeks as Quinn wedged her pinky into an opening at the edge of the envelope and pried it open. She pulled out the letter, unfolding it to read, "To Rachel Barbra Berry…" she trailed off, eyes widening as she read through the letter.

"Holy shit," she breathed.

"Language," Hiram chastised.

Rachel rubbed her lips together nervously. "What does it say?"

* * *

><p>"I'm going to New York!" Rachel excitedly yelled down the hallway of McKinley. Students turned around to glare at her as she ran down the hallway, screaming at the top of her lungs, but she couldn't be bothered to worry about them. "Kurt! Kurt!" she screamed as she ran towards his locker.<p>

Kurt swiveled around quickly, eyes widened in shock and fear before he realized who was calling him. "Did you get in?" he asked quickly.

"I got in!" She came to a stop in front of him and they bounced up and down, holding each other's hands.

"So did I!" Kurt exclaimed. "We're totally going to live together in the dorms!"

Rachel laughed giddily as they finally stopped bouncing yet continued to hold onto each other tightly. "Kurt, I doubt boys and girls will be able to live together in a dorm."

He waved her off. "It's a performing arts type school. I doubt they'll be strict about those things."

She beamed up at him. "We made it, Kurt."

"_Almost_," he said. "When I touchdown in New York looking summer chic, _then_ I will have made it." He looked down at her, head tilting as he ran his finger over one of the thick shoulder straps of her dress. "Though your wardrobe seems to be improving, I'll have to take you shopping to buy you a couple of outfits to get you started in New York."

Rachel scowled up at him, but nevertheless looped her arm through his as they strolled down the hallway.

"Where's Quinn?" Kurt asked.

"Upstairs. I'm going to meet her after class and then we're leaving for the day. Where's Blaine?"

"Samsies."

"Twinsies!" Rachel sing-songed.

"I know, right? We're so in sync like our periods."

The smile on Rachel's face slowly lessened the closer they got to the end of the hall. She pulled her arm away from Kurt and flashed him a small smile. "I'm gonna go tell her," she said nervously, gesturing to Shelby's office ahead of them.

The corner of Kurt's lips lifted into a supportive smile. He braced both hands on her shoulders. "Good luck. Don't come out of there ugly crying because, honey, you'll look like a mess."

"Just tell me good luck and be done with it," Rachel hissed, frowning at him.

"Good luck." He spun her around in his grip and gave her a small push forward.

Rachel took a deep breath before walking the rest of the distance to Shelby's door. She knocked quietly, staring directly at the door. Her jaw clenched tightly in anxiety when she heard heeled shoes walking towards the door. It opened and her eyes widened as she stared at Shelby on the other side. Shelby had the exact same wide-eyed look on her face as she stared down at Rachel.

"Good morning," Rachel said, gaze dipping before she forced herself to make eye contact with Shelby. "I just—I—can I come in?"

Shelby backed away without a word and Rachel walked in, hands fidgeting in front of her as she wondered what the hell she was thinking when she had decided coming here was a good idea. Things between her and Shelby had never gone well and there was a pretty good chance she was going to end up walking out of here in tears, yet here she was. She smoothed down the back of her skirt as she sat down in a nearby chair.

Shelby approached her slowly, looking a mixture between lost, uncomfortable, and relieved. She remained standing and even crossed her arms over her chest for good measure. "Hi, Rachel," she said carefully. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Rachel shook her head, suddenly feeling like a child as she stared up at Shelby. "Not really, no. I suppose I—" she shook her head once again. "I don't know. I suppose I wanted to come here and brag about the past few weeks of my life because I wanted you to be…proud of me for some reason." She rubbed at her arm self-consciously as her gaze dropped to tiled floors in embarrassment. What the hell was she doing here?

Shelby blinked in incomprehension as her mouth slowly opened. "Do you think I'm not proud of you? Is that what this is about?"

Rachel tongue darted out to flick along her lower lip as she pondered over Shelby's statement. "I just…I'm taking your path in a way and—"

"And you want me to be proud of you," Shelby finished. Her arms fell limply at her side. She stepped closer until she was just off center to Rachel's side. "I'm assuming you got into NYADA, then."

Rachel nodded, looking up towards the door. She had half a mind to leave because she had spent so much time telling Shelby how much she _didn't_ need her, and now here she was looking for some sort of validation she didn't understand.

A warm hand touched her shoulder, squeezing gently. A tight swallow bounced down her throat as she finally looked up to Shelby. Her eyes were dark, yet warm with what looked to be genuine happiness. "I'm very proud of you, Rachel," Shelby said quietly. "I knew you could do it."

Her lips trembled in threat of a smile as she said, "It was with your help, though."

Shelby's hand lifted to comb long fingers through Rachel's hair as if she was taking liberties with affections that were once denied to her. "It was the least I could do."

Her statement carried a heavy burden that Rachel didn't want to shoulder. Not right now, not today. "Where is Quinn going?"

"She applied to OSU, NYU, and Yale. She got into OSU, but we're still waiting on the other two schools." She smiled, crossing her index and middle finger. "Fingers crossed for Yale."

"An Ivy League," Shelby said, impressed. "Well, tell her I said good luck."

Rachel nodded. "I will." She smoothed the palms of her hands down her thighs. There seemed to be nothing else that needed to be said, so she stood up waving vaguely in Shelby's direction. "Well, I—thank you for the recommendation. It really helped, and…" she rubbed her lips together nervously, "I hope I can do you justice when I-when I make it."

"You will, I'm sure," Shelby told her. "You'll be better."

Her lips ticked upwards in a wry smile. "I auditioned for a commercial a couple of weeks ago."

Shelby's head tilted in curiosity. "How'd it go?"

She pointed to her nose. "Didn't get it."

"Ah, the old 'you're too ethnic', huh?" She sucked her teeth in contempt. "It happens. Just keep auditioning." She took a step closer to Rachel. "And most importantly, never let their opinions change how you feel about yourself. I can't even _begin_ to tell you how many botched nose jobs I've seen."

Rachel giggled, then bit her lip to stop laughing. "I never told you I thought about getting one, did I?"

"Honey, don't _ever_ get one," Shelby said with a laugh of her own. "How do you expect to ever play Barbra at some point in your life without the one you have?"

She had never thought of it that way before and it showed in the owlish way she blinked once the question was posed. "I'm meant to play Barbra," she said surely.

Shelby smiled a little. "Just like you're meant to have that nose."

For the first time in Rachel's life, it felt like she had a mother telling her that she didn't need to change who she was just to fit some mold and the feeling caused pressure to build behind her eyes as she blinked hard.

This wasn't going to change anything.

And that more than anything caused the tears to well just below her eyelids. Shelby must have seen them because seconds later comforting arms were wrapping around Rachel as her chest heaved with a breath that hurt more than anything.

"I'm sorry," Shelby whispered in her hair.

That wasn't going to change anything.

And it hurt to know that. It hurt to know that this was the kind of hug she could have been getting all year long, all _life_ long, if Shelby had had her shit together. But it didn't work out that way. Life rarely did.

But at least she got closure.

* * *

><p>"What I'm about to hand out to you is very important, class, so don't lose it," Quinn's teacher at the front of the room announced. "It's for your graduation robe sizes. It was supposed to be passed out in homeroom, but, well…we all know how this school and organization is." The class laughed and even Quinn cracked a small smile as she stared out the window. "Fill it out quickly and hand it in. And when you do, you're free to go."<p>

Manila envelopes were handed down the aisles. Quinn quickly snagged one. She opened it and pulled out white papers filled with different sizes and makes of what would be her graduation robe in just a few scant months. She smiled happily down at the paper as she grabbed a pen and quickly checked off the 5'4"-5'6" category of robe sizes. Then she gathered up the papers and stuck them neatly back into the envelope.

Packing up her belongings, she smoothed an ever growing errant lock of blonde hair behind her ear and stood from her chair. "Here you go," she mumbled as she handed the envelope to her teacher and walked out of class. It was about five minutes early; the dismissal bell hadn't rang yet. She decided to walk down the stairs to Rachel's last class of the day.

When she made it to the second floor, Rachel was walking out of Shelby's room wiping at her eyes. Quinn sped up towards her. She placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder to stop her, grabbing her chin and gently forcing her gaze up towards her. "What's wrong? Did she say something to you?" Her tone dripped threats and warnings as her shoulders tensed, fully prepared to approach Shelby if there was a problem.

Rachel shook her head with a dry chuckle. "No, no, she didn't do anything. I just—these tears are—I don't really know what they are, but—"

"So, I don't have to curse her out is what you're saying?" Quinn inquired as she wiped a tear from Rachel's cheek. Large brown eyes stared up at her with so much trust and innocence. It never failed to make Quinn feel stripped bare in front of the one person she was once afraid to allow see her this way.

"No, don't do that," Rachel said quietly. "Besides, you should be nice to her considering she's the one thing keeping you from Beth right now."

Quinn huffed out an annoyed breath. She pulled away and grabbed Rachel's hand as they walked down the hallway. "Are you done for the day?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes, we can go."

"My house or yours?"

"Yours, please."

* * *

><p>Quinn looked on in amusement as Rachel twirled around in hallway. "Your house is so big, Quinn."<p>

She shrugged, for once looking around and appreciating what she had. She wondered if her mother was going to have to sell this house, the one she grew up in, once she was gone. They managed to keep up with the bills partly because Quinn slaved at McDonald's whenever she had free time from school work and Rachel cuddling to actually work. But without her paycheck, there was a chance Judy would fall behind in rent. "It's nice," Quinn admitted in a murmur. Rachel kept walking, staring around in awe as if she had never seen the house before and Quinn followed quietly behind as Rachel walked up the stairs and to her room.

Rachel sat down on the bed and motioned for Quinn to come closer. Quinn smiled wolfishly, bracing both hands on either side of Rachel's hips on the bed as she stood in front of her, leaning down until they were eye level. Rachel smiled shakily as the scent of Quinn's perfume wafted all around her. "What do you wanna do?" Quinn mumbled as her lips traced over Rachel's jawline.

Rachel released a shaky breath as she toyed with the hem of Quinn's dress. "We still have to make it back to school in time for glee club," she halfheartedly protested even as her hand caressed the silky skin of Quinn's inner thigh.

"We have hours, baby," Quinn murmured into Rachel's ear before harshly nipping at her earlobe. Rachel moaned as Quinn grinned, grasping Rachel's waist and pushing until Rachel lied back on the bed. She climbed effortlessly on top of her, watching dark hair spread out over her bed sheets in gentle waves. Quinn leaned down and kissed her softly, ever grateful for being a senior with only a few classes because there were days in the week when she got to do _this_. She sucked on Rachel's bottom lip softly before burrowing into her neck.

"Quinn?" Rachel whispered as her neck tingled from what she was sure was going to be a hickey. She purred lowly as her eyes slipped shut, trying to hold on to the lone thought that hadn't seemed to evaporate in her mind the second Quinn touched her. "Baby," she sighed.

"Hmm?" Quinn hummed, kissing along Rachel's sternum.

"I…I have—"

"What do you have?"

"An idea." She took a deep breath. Exercising wonders of control, Rachel gently pushed Quinn off of her and sat up. She trembled as a shiver rolled down her spine. "Come on, Quinn," she whispered breathlessly as she scooted off the bed and walked out of the room.

Quinn gawked openly at her now empty room and empty doorway. "This did _not_ just happen to me," she grumbled. "_Rachel!_ Where the hell are you?"

"Downstairs, Quinn! Come on; I want to talk to you about something!"

She flopped back down on her bed. Granted, she wasn't _too_ worked up to the point where it made it hard to function. But she was worked up enough to be annoyed as hell at Rachel walking away. Quinn folded her arms and lied on the bed for an extra two minutes just to spite Rachel.

Meanwhile, Rachel was downstairs, rummaging through the living room for a family photo album. Surely a family like the Fabrays had photo albums, if only to perpetuate a picture-perfect family.

She heard a creak behind her and turned to see a grumpy Quinn Fabray glaring at her as she walked down the stairs. Rachel plastered a warm smile on her face as she motioned for Quinn to come closer. "Baby, don't be mad," she cooed as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist. She leaned up to kiss Quinn on the cheek lightly before pulling back to smile up at her.

The only movement Quinn made as a finely arched eyebrow rising along her forehead.

Rachel pouted. "I'm sorry. But I really wanted to see…" she swallowed nervously, pitching her voice lower to whisper, "Lucy."

Quinn stiffened completely. Her eyebrows knitted together as her lips turned downward. "You interrupted sex for that?" she griped as she pulled away.

"I—well technically we weren't _having_ sex when I interrupted," Rachel stammered as Quinn walked over to the couch. She slumped down against it, clasping her hands together and folding them neatly in her lap. Rachel cautiously walked over to sit down beside her. "Quinn, I just want to know you, you know that. I always want to know you more and to know you better. This isn't new for us. But if it will honestly make you uncomfortable, then we don't have to do this. We can go right back upstairs and continue what we were already doing."

"Yeah, thanks, Rachel, but I'm hardly in the mood anymore," Quinn replied sarcastically.

A tiny smirk pulled the corner of Rachel's lips upwards as she brought a hand up to lightly scratch at the short wisps of hair at the back of Quinn's neck. Predictably, Quinn shivered despite trying to hold onto her ire, but the affect Rachel seemed to always have on her never ceased to amaze her. "I can help with that," Rachel whispered.

Quinn leaned away as she grabbed Rachel's hand. She stared down at Rachel's hand clasped in hers. Whether she liked it or not most of the time, Rachel was the only person who consistently showed interest in her since day one. And it would always be this way. She sighed resolutely as she stood from the couch. "Wait here," she instructed as she walked away.

Rachel pursed her lips together to keep from calling out to Quinn as she walked away. She waited impatiently on the couch, looking around to the various pictures on the living room walls. There were pictures of Judy and Russell, Quinn and the girl Rachel had come to recognize as Quinn's sister, Frannie. In all of the photos, Quinn looked to be no older than five. Small, blonde and innocent looking. Then there was a giant skip to Quinn in high school, pictures of her in her Cheerios uniform, white dresses, red smile, pearly white teeth. It was the first time Rachel had noticed such a dramatic skip in time in Quinn's life shown through the photos. Suddenly this whole nose-job-in-middle-school thing was starting to ring more and more true to Rachel.

She couldn't compartmentalize it. Not without help. There were these jumbled thoughts that didn't seem to fit into any kind of category or puzzle—there was no rhyme or reason and she just hoped Quinn would come back soon because she had so many questions that she was dying to ask.

As if reading her thoughts, Quinn came walking back down the stairs from Judy's bedroom, looking disgruntled and beautiful. She had a small, white piece of paper in her hand. The closer she got the more Rachel realized it wasn't a piece of paper, it was a _photo_.

Quinn jabbed it at her as she sat back down on the couch, farther away as Rachel looked down at the photo in her hand.

It was Lucy—Quinn—someone so recognizably unfamiliar that Rachel had to tilt her head until— "Your eyes," she murmured. "They're the same."

Quinn didn't say anything. Not that Rachel had expected her to.

Not that she would have been listening when her eyes were roaming all over the small eight by ten in her hand, soaking up all of these alien features she didn't recognize. Lucy's hair couldn't even be classified as dirty blonde; she was a full on brunette with hair not much lighter than Rachel's own. She had glasses, braces, pimples, and Rachel's heart _ached_ at the thought that no one wanted this little girl. She turned to look at Quinn who was curled into the most dignified ball on the couch Rachel had ever seen. This was her Quinn. Her beautiful, seemingly forever broken Quinn, who Rachel would never give up on. "Have you ever talked to someone about this?" she asked unassumingly.

Quinn shook her head jerkily, staring ahead. "If you're expecting me to cry on your shoulder as I talk about…_her_, then you've got another thing coming."

"You don't have to cry on my shoulder, Quinn," Rachel soothed. "I just—" she stared down at the picture. "Did your hair darken, or…?"

"It did," Quinn said concisely. "It started darkening when I was seven and by the time I was twelve, my hair was basically what it was in that picture."

"You dye it," Rachel guessed, still trying to keep any kind of accusation out of her voice. Quinn wasn't easy to deal with when she was feeling self-conscious and it was the last thing Rachel wanted right now.

Quinn laughed hollowly. "All the fucking time."

Rachel turned to face Quinn more fully. "Why?"

"Are you kidding me with that question?" Quinn bit out incredulously. "I'm like, the biggest black sheep to ever _be_ in a family. You've seen my mother's hair. My father's is even lighter than hers. My sister's hair is more of a dirty blonde, but hell, she's _still_ a blonde. _I_ was the only brunette in my family, _of_ _course_."

Quinn still wasn't looking at her. Rachel's heart pounded in her chest as the perfect Fabray family she had always known was a farce slowly unraveled before her, all with one picture. She stared down at the little, innocent girl in the photo. Every since Quinn had given her a little glimpse into who she was as a child a couple of weeks ago, it was all Rachel thought about. Her eyes squinted as they began to sting but she _refused_ to cry when Quinn was the one who should be crying right now; she needed to be strong. How Quinn survived through this relatively intact, Rachel would never know. "At first glance I probably wouldn't have known she was you," Rachel admitted. She smiled fondly down at the girl in the photo. "But…she has your chin, your rosy cheeks, and your eyes—"

Quinn scoffed angrily. "How could you see that under all that fat?"

"Quinn," Rachel chastised.

"_No_, Rachel. You don't get it."

"Then help me understand," she pleaded quietly, looking over at Quinn. "If you want. If you don't want to talk about it then I understand."

Quinn turned to look at her with wide, haunted eyes that took Rachel's breath away. "You don't understand," she whispered, face crumbling as she spoke.

Rachel clenched the photo in her hand as she scooted over to close the distance between them. She rested her hand on Quinn's knees that were pulled up tightly to her chest. "Help me understand," she murmured. "Who's Lucy, baby?"

"I—she," Quinn sighed in exasperation, rubbing a hand along her forehead as she tried to figure out how to begin. She had never planned on telling Rachel this story. At least not until months, _years_ from now, but she had never had the chance to tell her side of this story and it was already bubbling out of her before she thought better. "She was fat, she was ugly, she was ungraceful. She was everything I'm not, Rachel. But she wasn't _always _that way." She fidgeted in a way that let Rachel know they were all in. Quinn was lost in her own memories and whether or not Rachel was ready, she was going to get the whole story. "I—when I was younger, I was pretty. You see those pictures," Quinn said spitefully, gesturing vaguely towards the pictures on the walls. "Those were the only pictures of me they put up," she grumbled. "I wore frilly dresses to Sunday school and church with my hair straightened and my shoes polished. I had dirty blonde hair that just kept getting darker as I got older. Then I hit puberty and seemed to have a glandular problem." Quinn snorted scornfully. "I had pimples all over my face. I was…so fucking fat and disgusting."

A noise of overwhelming sadness strangled Rachel's vocal chords as she listened to Quinn talk about herself with so much contempt.

"Frannie made fun of me," Quinn continued in a hushed whisper. She was looking straight ahead but seemed to be lost in her own memories. "She calls me sometimes, drunk and crying, just to apologize because she was so—it was hard growing up. She and I always fought for Russell's affection because he always chose favorites."

She looked towards Rachel, eyes glistening. "I used to be his _favorite_," Quinn whispered reverently. "Wherever he went, I would go. He was hoping his second child would be a boy but I wasn't. I was a girl—Lucy Quinn Fabray. But that didn't matter to him; he just slapped the name Quinn on me anyway and started calling me that, though my mom and sister called me Lucy. I got fat just before middle school. And I begged my father to let me stop playing piano because I was already a fat loser and there was just _nothing_ cool about being in the orchestra. When I—" she sniffled, breath hitching in her throat as tears started to fall. "When my mother convinced me to join gymnastics to burn the weight off, I bought a shit ton of acne products and asked them for a nose job. My father said okay, so I got it. By then, kids at school had already developed a nickname for me—Lucy Caboosey. So, I asked my father if I could change my name and now I'm Quinn."

"You said something months ago," Quinn continued, laughing humorlessly. "I told you I had been a gymnast in middle school and you said I must have really been in shape then. Joke's on me, huh?"

"Don't," Rachel said softly.

Quinn stopped talking after that, her widened eyes darting from Rachel down to the hands that were fidgeting in front of her. Rachel blinked rapidly as her brain tried to sort out everything Quinn had told her. She almost couldn't believe it. It seemed like such a heartbreakingly fantastical tale; it seemed like Quinn had sat there and told her a story rather than her life.

Watery hazel eyes met hers again, full of apprehension. "Don't judge me, Rachel."

Rachel shook her head. "I'm not—"

"Anyone else can, but please not you." Quinn's voice hitched and cracked as her shoulders slumped.

Rachel looked at her sadly. She scooted impossibly closer and took Quinn's rigid form into her arms. "Baby, I could never judge you." She rocked her back and forth as Quinn wrapped her arms so tightly around her waist it almost hurt. She smoothed back Quinn's hair from her face and placed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "You are so, so beautiful, Quinn. And Lucy was beautiful. I just wish someone had been there back then to tell her that."

The difference between her and Quinn had never felt more staggering than in this moment. Rachel had always had outsiders telling her she was ugly or a loser, but her parents, Hiram and Leroy, were always the ones telling her she was the most beautiful girl they had ever seen and for that she was still able to walk into school with her head held high. Quinn quite literally had the opposite upbringing. She had her own parents telling her she needed to change herself, and once she finally did, outsiders were the ones then telling her she was beautiful. And it apparently never meant anything to her because those words never came from anyone who mattered.

Until Rachel came along.

Whether Quinn knew it or not, she would probably spend the rest of her life seeking her parents', moreover, her father's approval just because they failed her as parents and the thought broke Rachel's heart. "You're beautiful," she murmured again. "You know you're the prettiest girl I've ever met."

Quinn exhaled a shuddery breath. "Yeah, because I have a better nose."

Rachel smiled as she nuzzled their noses together. "I'm not shallow enough to simply want you for aesthetic purposes only, Quinn Fabray."

Quinn sighed, almost in relief, against her.

"You have to know for yourself that you're beautiful, Quinn," she continued. She cupped Quinn's cheek as she kissed the corner of her mouth. "What I or anyone else tells you shouldn't dictate how you feel about yourself." She kissed her softly.

Quinn just sort of sank back into her arms and Rachel was more than content to hold her.

* * *

><p>"Fellow glee clubbers, I have an announcement to make," Rachel said happily at the end of glee club before everyone left. "I have—"<p>

"She and I got into NYADA!" Kurt exclaimed happily.

"You stole my thunder!" Rachel protested even as everyone around the room smiled for them. From the top most row a slow clap began by Quinn who most definitely didn't want to go to glee club today. But after she and Rachel had somehow gone from comfortably cuddling on the couch to sweaty and naked by the stairs, Rachel had made her put her clothes on and come to glee.

Most of the glee club had joined in on the clapping and Rachel curtsied happily at the front of the room. "Thank you, thank you. I won't forget any of you by the time I'm famous," she promised.

Santana nudged Quinn from the seat beside her. "How do you put up with her?" she asked as they both looked towards Rachel.

Quinn merely smiled. "That question goes both ways."

"Like me," Brittany whispered out of nowhere.

Mr. Schuester walked over to Rachel and gave her a congratulatory hug. "Congratulations, Rachel. We are all very proud of you." He clasped his hands together to get everyone's attention. "Alright, guys, we're done for the day. Have a good one and be good. That especially goes out to you, Puckerman."

Quinn stood up from her seat, slinging her bag over her shoulder to walk down the risers. She nearly bumped into Puck and recoiled before they collided into each other.

"Sorry," Puck mumbled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

"Me, too," Quinn said as she walked away without looking at him.

Rachel turned to stack the remainder of her sheet music into a pile on the piano. She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and gathered the papers into her arms. When she turned around, Finn was walking towards her. He came a stop in front of her, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Hey," he muttered as he rocked back on his heels.

Rachel clutched the papers closer to her with a tentative, close lipped smile. "Hi, Finn."

"Yeah, umm, congratulations on NYADA and everything. I remember how much you worried about it months ago, so…glad you got in."

Her smile grew at the sincerity in his voice. "Thank you, Finn. That means a lot."

She saw Quinn approaching quickly from her peripheral and turned to her girlfriend immediately before things had the chance to get out of hand. "Hi, Quinn," she greeted with a megawatt smile.

Quinn took one look at Finn with narrowed eyes, then turned towards Rachel. "I'm going to go talk to Shelby."

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. Would you like me to meet you when I'm finished talking to Finn?"

Quinn stared at Rachel disbelievingly at the thought of her girlfriend carrying on this blithe conversation with Finn instead of being there when Quinn needed to have a very serious talk with Shelby. She took a deep breath, trying to not make this into a scene and calm down her own thoughts. "Sure," Quinn replied noncommittally as she walked away.

Rachel watched her go with a wary sigh.

"She still doesn't like me, huh?"

Rachel bit her lip as she mulled over the question. "I think that little dismissal was more towards me than you." She turned back to Finn. "Well, I should probably get going so I can—"

"I'm thinking about going to the army," Finn blurted out suddenly.

Her jaw dropped in surprise at his statement. "You—r-really?" she asked, almost sadly.

He nodded enthusiastically. "You know about my dad being a hero, right? I'm gonna be just like him."

It was sad watching a boy with promise and talent waste it away on the army, but that wasn't Rachel's problem anymore. And Finn had told her months ago that all he really wanted from her was support. So, she mustered up the most supportive smile she could and said to him, "I'm proud of you, Finn. I really am. Good luck with the army, okay?"

The smile on his face told her she had said the right thing.

* * *

><p>Quinn carefully stepped inside Shelby's classroom once the door was opened. Neither of them had said a word to each other aside from a begrudged 'hello' when Shelby allowed Quinn entry.<p>

In situations like this in the past, Quinn used to rely heavily on her manners, gritting out well-groomed words through the clenched teeth of a false smile until she said the right things to get her way. But she took one look at the completely guarded look of almost contempt on Shelby's face and knew that wasn't going to work this time.

"Look," she began evenly, "you may not like me now and that's fine. I don't too much care for you either." Shelby's eyebrows rose along her forehead at the statement and Quinn was quick to continue. "But one thing we have in common, well, two things," she amended with a small smile, "is our love for Rachel and Beth…and the fact that we're kind of screw ups."

Shelby looked completely put off by Quinn's statement, but Quinn continued on without apology. "I get it. Now. You came here to repair an already irreparable relationship with Rachel. You can't get it back because you spent all of Rachel's childhood living out your life without a care in the world."

Shelby opened her mouth to speak, but Quinn cut her off. "But you really didn't…_not_ care, did you?" she murmured thoughtfully. "Because if you honestly didn't care about Rachel, then you wouldn't be here right now. And…if you really didn't care about Beth…or even me, then you wouldn't be here right now either."

Quinn clasped her hands in front of her with a small shrug. "I'll probably never like you," she admitted. "But from one fuck up to another, I get what you're doing. And…thank you for the opportunity . Which brings me to why I'm here: I want to see my daughter."

Shelby scoffed. "Oh, please," she muttered scornfully.

"Yeah, please," Quinn said as she stepped closer. "I don't want to end up like you," she said quietly. "I don't want to not know what Beth is like years from now, or have her grow up hating me, or—"

"Rachel hates me?" Shelby asked suddenly.

Quinn smiled sadly at the lost look on Shelby's face. She couldn't bear ever having to ask someone that same question regarding Beth. "Rachel couldn't hate anyone," Quinn assured. "But I don't-I don't want Beth growing up hating me or feeling sad whenever she thinks about me. I want her to _know_ me," Quinn said forcefully. "I want to know her. Please."

She took a step closer, wide eyes beseeching Shelby. "Can I come over today?"

"She's not here, Quinn," Shelby informed her. "She's in New York with her grandparents."

Quinn didn't really know whether to feel happy or sad about the fact that Judy and Russell Fabray weren't considered Beth's grandparents. It was probably for the best. Especially if Beth inherited her dark roots from Puck anytime soon. "Do they treat her right?" she asked achingly.

"They love her," Shelby assured.

Quinn nodded with a small smile. That was all she could ask for in grandparents for Beth. "Will you call me when she gets back? Please? I really want to see her."

Shelby folded her arms across her chest. "After everything that's happened, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Quinn's gaze shot to her in belligerence. "Why—"

"Because you and I seem to get into a lot of altercations at my house."

"That won't happen again," Quinn promised desperately.

"We'll start off small," Shelby said resolutely. "When she gets back I'll have her call you, then we can go from there."

Her whole demeanor looked completely grief-stricken. Quinn rubbed her lips together, looking away as she tried to make herself comprehend what was happening to her. This _couldn't_ be happening to her. "Shelby, I haven't seen her in over a month," she mumbled inaudibly. "Please just let me see her."

Shelby walked closer to place a placating hand on her shoulder but Quinn pivoted away. "You'll see her."

"When?"

"When I can safely say that the two of us can be around her without arguing. That's not good for her."

Every fiber of her being screamed at her to lash out violently at Shelby for denying her the right to see Beth. It felt like the beginning of the year all over again. But instead of taking what was easy bait for her, she kept her mouth shut and walked out of Shelby's office, shaking her head sadly. She turned the corner and Rachel was right there, looking up at her curiously. "What happened?"

Quinn just shook her head and kept walking.

Rachel ran to catch up with her. "Did she say no? You can't see her?"

Her hands balled into fists at her side as she shook her head.

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel murmured sadly. "I can go back in there right now and talk to her if you want to." She was already turning around when Quinn grabbed her hand and halted her movement. She just shook her head, tugging Rachel closer and engulfing her in a hug.

"Can we go to New York now?" she mumbled tremblingly into Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel held her close as Quinn's entire frame shook as unsteadily as her voice in the empty hallway. She smiled at the innocence of the question. "Soon, baby. Really soon, I hope."

"I love you."

The sudden shift in her voice, now strong and unyielding weakened Rachel's knees as that warm declaration never failed to make her fall in love all over again. "I love you, too, Quinn. Always, okay?"

She felt Quinn's arms wrap tighter around her with a weary sigh as she nodded.


	32. Chapter 32

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:** It's been two weeks and I still haven't sorted out my feelings on Quinn being in a car accident. Oh, Glee.

Thank you to everyone who's still trucking with this story and for your ever kind reviews. :)

* * *

><p>She scrambled desperately to find the cell phone that was tangled in her bed sheets. It was calling out to her with a phone call that Quinn just <em>knew<em> was from Beth. Frazzled, she grabbed her bedspread with two hands digging into the plush material like claws and tore it away from the bed. The muted thump of her phone hitting the floor on the other side of the bed caused her to dive onto her mattress and scurry to the other side. She wasn't even conscious enough of her own actions to be embarrassed. All she knew was that her baby was calling her and she had to answer.

The cell phone was scooped up with ease and pressed tightly against her ear. "Hey, baby," she greeted breathlessly into the phone.

"Quinn!" Beth squealed into the phone. Her enthusiasm tugged at Quinn's heart and her eyes shut in happiness at the sound of her voice.

"Hi, Beth," she greeted warmly. "It's good to hear from you. Did you have fun with your grandparents?"

Beth didn't say anything for a moment and Quinn decidedly pictured her nodding into the phone before a muffled voice in the background told her to answer. "Yep!"

It was probably Shelby. Quinn rolled her eyes, wondering if Shelby got the last laugh in the end because Beth could speak little more than one syllable words. This conversation was probably going to be over very soon.

She rolled her shoulders back, not allowing that thought to get to her. This conversation wasn't about Shelby. It was about her and Beth and Quinn was going to make it last as long as she could. "Do you still drink from sippy cups?" she asked curiously.

"Yes," Beth answered, drawing the word out with a giggle. Quinn smiled into the phone, completely charmed. "Achoo?" Beth asked suddenly.

It took a while for Quinn to know what Beth was talking about. When she finally caught on she chuckled softly. "Rachel's at her house," Quinn answered. "She says hi, though."

"Hi, Achoo!"

Quinn's smile turned evil as she thought of the pout that was surely going to be fixed onto Rachel's face when Quinn was going to tell her that Beth still couldn't say her name correctly.

"Poop," was the next word that chose to dig itself into Quinn's ear. Her jaw dropped in horror as she blinked rapidly.

"I'm sorry, what?" she said into the phone, side-eyeing it.

"Poop," Beth said again as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And it was…it just wasn't something people talked about.

"You…poop?" Quinn asked for clarification. This conversation was completely lost on her and she wondered if someone was playing a joke.

"I poop!" Beth squealed.

"Okay, this is just weird," Quinn muttered to herself. Then, much louder, "Did you poop on yourself, baby?"

"_Potty_," Beth restated with stress inflections.

Shelby had to be somewhere in the room with Beth while this breakdown in communication was going on, and Quinn would forever loathe her for making her hear the words 'poop' and 'potty' without preamble. "Are you potty trained?"

"Yes!"

A proud grin threatened to split her face in half. Beth was such a smart little girl. "That's amazing," Quinn said softly. "Now I don't have to change you as often."

Beth giggled into the phone as if she actually knew what Quinn was talking about. "Miss you, Quinn," she said after a moment.

A ragged breath was inhaled into her lungs which seemed to collapse under the weight of Beth's words. This little girl who already had a _mom_ and a _life_ outside of Quinn still _missed_ her. "I miss you, too," Quinn whispered tremulously. "And I love you. And I promise I'm going to see you very soon."

"Judy?" Beth inquired.

Quinn chuckled a watery laugh, feeling pressure build behind her eyes. "You want to see Judy, too?"

"Yes."

She rubbed over the anxious creases in her forehead. She didn't want to start making all kinds of promises to Beth that she wasn't sure she could keep with the time constraints and Shelby hovering over her, monopolizing her time. "I'll see you soon," was the promise she made that she _knew_ more than anything else she was going to keep. She shifted to sit on her bed in a more upright position, spinal cord cracking in protest. "Baby, can I speak with Shelby now?"

"Mhm," Beth hummed. "Night, Quinn."

"Goodnight, baby," Quinn murmured. "I love you."

"Love you, too!"

There was a lot of shuffling and cooing in the background as Beth tried to maneuver with minimal coordination. "Hello?" a more adult voice spoke into the phone.

"I need to see her," Quinn declared tersely.

She heard Shelby sigh into the phone. "We've already talked about this, Quinn."

"She misses me. Did you not hear her?"

"Yes, I heard her. However, I still think we need to ease our way into this."

Her shoulders tensed. "I don't have _time_ to ease my way into this," Quinn hissed into the phone. "I only have a few months left until I have to go to college."

"I'm well aware of that, Quinn," Shelby said evenly. "But my condition still stands."

She inhaled a quick breath, the urge to hang up rising to the point in which her finger felt like a trigger, ready to swipe over the screen of her phone to end the call. But anything negative she were to do would surely effect the way Shelby viewed her. She exhaled slowly. "Fine," she bit out. "Goodbye." She hung up the phone and quickly scrolled through her contacts for Rachel's phone number before slumping face first onto her bed.

The soft bed sheets below her rubbing against her face evaporated her anger into weary frustration, and the sound of the line clicking over made her breathe a sigh of relief. "Hello?" Rachel greeted after a moment. "Quinn?"

"I just talked to her," Quinn said softly.

From across town, Rachel dropped a dish into the sink to grab a nearby towel and dry the soap-sud bubbles on her hands. This was probably going to be a long conversation. "How is she?" she asked as she took the stairs to her room.

Quinn grabbed at her blanket on the floor and drew it on the bed and over her body. "She misses me. She said so."

Rachel smiled ruefully as she sat down on the bed. "You'll see her soon, baby."

"Not soon enough," was Quinn's gruff reply.

"She sounded good, though?" Rachel followed up with in an attempt to steer the conversation. She smiled at Quinn's sudden chuckle.

"She asked about Achoo," Quinn told her.

Rachel's jaw shifted as she smiled despite herself. Whether Beth got her name right or not, the fact that she even _thought_ about Rachel warmed her heart. "I'm glad," Rachel responded, almost shyly.

"And apparently she likes to say the word 'poop,'" Quinn continued. "Definitely got that from Puck."

A look of bewilderment crossed Rachel's face before she broke out into a fit of giggles. Her eyebrows dipped in bemusement, not believing she was about to ask this question. "Does she like to poop?"

"Well, I…" Quinn sighed with a giggle of her own. "She said she's potty trained."

"Such a smart girl," Rachel said warmly. "She must get that from her mother."

Her gaze dipped bashfully at the compliment as she picked at the threads in her comforter. It seemed that Rachel showering her with compliments was something she would never get used to. "Yeah, well…what are you doing?" she mumbled.

Rachel grinned widely at the shyness that had crept into Quinn's voice. She reclined back on her bed with a long sigh. "Lying in bed. Wondering about the date you're going to take me on during prom."

Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the faux-nonchalance in Rachel's voice. "I'm sure that's _all_ you've been thinking about lately."

Rachel hummed an affirmative as her fingers combed lazily through her hair. She smiled in amusement, then said, "And please don't take me to McDonald's. I'm not too sure it fits my palate."

"Ass," Quinn scoffed quietly with an amused grin. "I'll buy you chicken nuggets."

Rachel shot upright in bed, peeved at Quinn's laughter floating through the phone, no matter how soothing it sounded. "You went too far, Quinn Fabray!"

"You were the one questioning my romance!" Quinn fired back. "I can be _very_ romantic, Rachel."

Her voice had lowered in a way that made Rachel's heart flutter against her ribcage. She sighed languidly. "Well, what do you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise," Quinn replied teasingly.

It wasn't _really_ a surprise. More like, she didn't have anything planned at all, because what the hell do you plan for a date when you and your girlfriend are in the closet? A simple dinner at home wouldn't do because Rachel had made it clear that she wanted to go _out_.

"I'm sure I'll love it," Rachel said softly.

* * *

><p>She bit her lip in contemplation as she walked down the hallway. Figuring out a date for Rachel during prom that was only a few weeks away proved to be a lovely distraction from the fact that she hadn't seen Beth in months. She didn't want to dwell on that because these were the last weeks of her high school career and she wanted to end on as positive of a note as she possibly could as a former pregnant teenager who got kicked out at sixteen.<p>

She had bounced back from that. And not only that…Rachel deserved a good date for all she had to put up with throughout the entirety of their relationship, from sophomore year, onward.

Quinn spotted Santana at her locker further down the hallway and hurried towards her. She clutched her binder toward herself tightly and leaned against a nearby locker. "Hey," she greeted.

Santana looked up at her, then her gaze flicked around them before landing on Quinn again. "You must need something," Santana muttered.

Quinn took a step closer with a disarming smile. "What do you mean?"

Santana's locker slammed shut with a resounding clang. "Cut the crap, Fabray. We haven't exactly been friends this year."

The smile on her face evaporated when it was obvious she wasn't going to be able to charm her way into this. She should have known, really. Santana was never one to be tricked. "I know," she sighed. "But—"

"I mean, this is our last year, you know?" Santana told her with eyes narrowed into slits. "I was _trying_ to get an old thing back between you, me, and Britts because we won't all be in the same place next year."

"I know, and—"

"And _you_ want to hang out with those _Skanks_ instead of the people who had always been there for you."

Quinn's eyes flashed coldly at the last of that statement and Santana at least had the decency to look away after what she had just said. A deep breath was drawn through Quinn in an attempt to not cause a scene, because they had had this argument before. And they didn't need to have it again, especially in the middle of the hallway. "I'm going to ignore what you just said," Quinn gritted out. This suddenly felt like a bad idea. Santana was apparently going to feel forever jaded because of their lack of contact over the school year and maybe because of that, this conversation wasn't going to go well.

Unless…

The wheels began turning in her head and she turned to Santana with a renewed smile on her face. "Are you and Brittany going to prom?"

"After last year's hot mess of me _not_ winning prom queen?" Santana scoffed. "There's no way in hell I'd go to that lame ass function again."

Quinn nodded slowly. It was a crazy plan. Rachel _may_ be a little angry at first. But it could work.

She decided to throw caution to the wind and ask anyway. "How about a double date prom night?" she asked Santana. "Me and Rachel, you and Brittany?"

A familiar grin alighted Santana's face and Quinn figured maybe a little closure wouldn't be so bad after all.

Then Santana rolled her eyes, hip cocking out as if she was actually going to put up a fuss over the idea. "I mean, I _guess_ B would like to hang out with you."

"And Rachel," Quinn asserted.

Santana shrugged. "B likes making new friends."

Quinn sighed in relief that this _may_ go well after all as she slumped against the row of lockers. "And you can't be mean to Rachel."

"Whatev—"

"I mean it, Santana. No Ru-Paul, no Man-Hands, no Stubbles, no making fun of her animal sweaters, no making fun of her height, no—"

"I got it, damn!" she cut in exasperatedly. "Shit, you give a chick some pussy and all of a sudden she white knights for you."

Quinn stiffened at the comment, feeling her face flush as she bit out, "Just _don't_, okay?"

"I already said I _won't_."

"Okay," Quinn sighed. The tension in her shoulders eased at the sight of an amused grin on Santana's face. Her lips pulled into a small smile, too, though she hated feeling sentimental.

"The hell are we going to do on this date?" Santana cut in brusquely, effectively ruining the moment.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I don't know. I was hoping you could help."

"What makes you think I'd know?"

"Because you and Brittany have been having secret dates all year long," Quinn explained. "I figured you'd be a master at the whole 'going out with your girlfriend without being caught' thing."

Santana pushed off the locker and gestured for Quinn to follow. "Walk with me, talk with me."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"We could always go to Breadstix."

"Except not, because they don't have any vegan dishes."

"Ugh, is your girlfriend going to be a fun sponge the whole time?"

"Probably," Quinn admitted in amusement without a hint of apology. "Next."

"B likes animals," Santana tossed out.

Quinn nodded. "Rachel likes animals. Or, saving them, really."

"I think the only logical conclusion is the zoo."

"Well, no. Rachel doesn't like the idea of 'animals being contained in a man-made prison without escape, living such an unauthentic life,'" Quinn managed to quote verbatim.

"Fun sponge," Santana concluded.

Her tongue swiped across her upper lip in thought as they came to a stop at Santana's classroom. "I gotta go, Q. You think about it and—"

"I think I have an idea," Quinn said quietly.

"Well, lay it on me."

* * *

><p>There was literally nothing tying Rachel to Lima anymore. Quinn, of course did, but that was going to hopefully be remedied later today after she got what Rachel hoped was an NYU acceptance letter. Then there would be absolutely <em>nothing<em> holding her back. After four years of toiling and crying in high school, it was over.

The thought lingered in her mind and pulled her lips upward into a grin as she deposited her books in her locker. She looked around it to the picture of Quinn she had put in there months ago. Reaching out, she touched it reverently. If there was anyone who put her levels of forgiveness and the depths that her unconditional love could reach to the test, it was her girlfriend. Rachel had never known she could love someone as much as she loved her. It was terrifying to think about sometimes—that Quinn had her heart and could do _anything_ she wanted to with it. And it was quite possibly even more terrifyingly thrilling that she had Quinn's heart, that she was the only one to ever have _all_ of Quinn. That one concept took her breath away sometimes when she just stopped and thought about everything she and Quinn had ever been through.

A hand lightly touched her shoulder with warmth and familiarity that eased her shoulders as she closed her locker. She turned to find Quinn looking down at her with an eager smile that melted her heart because there was a time when she didn't even know what something like eagerness and excitement even looked like on such a beautiful face. "You get your letter today!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly, assuming that was what the smile on Quinn's face was for.

But it wasn't. It wasn't a smile because of her letter from NYU, though _now_ that was starting to take precedence. It was a smile because she finally knew what the hell they were going to do on their date. But she nodded anyway because the gleam in Rachel's eyes was not to be deterred. "I do," she agreed, eyebrows rising along her forehead.

When Rachel couldn't stand it anymore she flung herself into Quinn and wrapped her arms around her waist tightly. "I'm so excited!"

"I couldn't have guessed," Quinn teased.

"You can't ruin this for me, Quinn Fabray," Rachel admonished. "I'm excited about being with you, in New York, or nearly two hours apart while you're at Yale, either/or."

She smiled, wrapping an arm around Rachel's shoulders. "I'm excited, too," she mumbled.

"Hey."

They both pulled away enough to find Mack standing in front of them, hip cocked to the side in a skirt that was too short for the dress code—though Rachel had little room to argue that—and a pair of calf-high boots. Rachel stiffened with a huff, eyes narrowing. This was the first time in months she had seen Mack, the first time she had seen her since learning that she and Quinn had...history.

Quinn smiled a little at how confident Mack looked in the middle of the hallway. "Surprised you're even in school."

Mack unfolded her arms and walked closer. She had a wad of gum in her mouth that popped in such a way that annoyed Rachel. But she plastered on a smile so wide and fake, it nearly broke her face anyway. "Hello, Mack."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared down at Rachel. "Hello, Rachel," she replied snidely.

Rachel immediately pulled away from Quinn and spun around to walk away, long, dark hair whipping behind her because she was _not_ about to deal with this. Quinn's arms were still open from where Rachel had been in them before she walked away. Irate, her fists clenched at her sides and she turned to Mack. "You _really_ should pick up some manners from somewhere before I knock your teeth in." She quickly followed Rachel down the hallway.

Mack scoffed with an amused grin. "As if."

"Also, good job about being back in school," Quinn tossed over her shoulder in a breath as she continued on. Her hair swung from side to side as she picked up a light jog until her hand was curling around a thin wrist. She quickly spun Rachel around to face her. The look on her face completely did Quinn in. She inhaled deeply at the sight of Rachel's jutted out bottom lip and eyebrows that dipped in frustration. Her eyes were wide enough to catch the light overhead in the hallway and shined brightly. "Don't be mad," Quinn mumbled.

"I really dislike that girl," Rachel huffed, rubbing at her face with one hand as Quinn held a firm grip on her other wrist. "She's annoying."

Quinn's heart _melted_, and a part of her would forever be angry at Rachel Berry for making her feel this way. "I know, baby." She tugged Rachel closer and placed a kiss to her temple. "I'm sorry," she continued. "She doesn't have home training."

Despite herself, Rachel smiled a little in amusement. She brought her hand up to curiously twist a button on Quinn's cardigan. "I can't believe you've kissed such a…_horrible_ human being."

"Rachel," Quinn warned lightly.

"No, Quinn, she's rude to me." She was upset, but she couldn't help but lean into Quinn more as a row of kisses were being pressed along her temple and forehead. "Can't believe you kissed her," she grumbled again.

Quinn hummed pleasantly as Rachel's green side began to present itself. Something about it just made her feel really warm inside. Her lips pressed against Rachel's temple, then continued down the side of her face to her ear where she pressed another kiss before mumbling, "I may have kissed her, but guess what?"

Rachel stifled the urge to squirm at the feeling of Quinn's warm breath fanning over the sensitive shell of her ear. "What?" she muttered petulantly.

"You're who I make love to," Quinn whispered, marveling at the way Rachel shivered minutely in her arms. "You're who I love. And," her lips curved into a smile, "you're definitely the one I'm taking out on prom night."

Rachel's interest piqued as she recalled their conversation the other night. She tilted her head in the direction of Quinn's mouth with a secretive smile. "Where are you taking me?" she asked softly.

Quinn chuckled at how easy it was go get past Rachel's defenses sometimes. "I was thinking we could spend the day together," she purred. "You can come over to my house, spend some time with Judy like I know you've been dying to."

She stepped closer into Quinn. "I'd like that."

"Then I figured we could go to the SPCA and help out with the animals. Give the dogs and cats baths, feed the birds and fish, the lizards."

"Can we get a pet?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"We could look into getting a pet," Quinn answered, not really sure how that would work considering they would both be off to college soon.

"Yay," Rachel said softly.

Quinn placed a hand on her hip. "Then I was wondering if you really wanted a hotel room, or if we were just joking around."

"Get the hotel room," Rachel quickly uttered.

"Okay," Quinn laughed. "I'll get it."

"And then what happens?"

An eyebrow cocked along her forehead, as she bit her lip, deciding to play along. "I'd get a room for us."

"Mhm," Rachel hummed pleasantly.

"With a big bed."

"Mhm."

"And then…"

"Then what, baby?"

"We'd…sleep on it?"

"Quinn!"

"I couldn't resist," she giggled, loving the cute, peeved look pinching Rachel's features. "But seriously. I'd make love to you."

"You'd better," Rachel warned.

"All night long."

"And you'll be saying _my_ name."

"As opposed to…?" Quinn trailed off with a cheeky grin, already knowing what Rachel was referring to.

"_My_ name, Quinn Fabray," Rachel said again.

"As if any other name even exists at this point."

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>Quinn had spent the entirety of glee club covertly reading <em>To Klll a Mockingbird<em> for what was probably the hundredth time as Rachel squawked in disagreement with Mr. Schuester over what songs to sing for Nationals.

"If we are to win, Mr. Schuester, then it is probably best we do things my way," Rachel boldly declared without a hint of apology.

"Yeah, because you're always _so_ right," Santana mockingly cajoled. Quinn's gaze lifted from her book to glare back at her friend meaningfully. Rachel didn't really know yet about the double date and she'd be less inclined to agree if Santana went for her throat every glee club meeting.

"I got _you_ back into the club, didn't I?" Rachel snarled back with an air of superiority. "And _that_ was a good idea."

"That was my idea, actually," Quinn muttered, more to herself than anything.

But Rachel had heard her, slowly turning around with narrowed eyes zeroing in on Quinn who just leafed to another page in her book in disinterest of the conversation.

"Guys!" Mr. Schuester loudly called to get all side conversations to cease. Once he had everyone's attention, he continued with, "How about I give you all a break? For quite a lot of you it's your last year here."

Rachel hooked her arm around Quinn's and laid her head on her shoulder.

"So, here's what we're gonna do. All the seniors? Pick a song, actually, pair up, and choose a song. And you and your partner will sing it at Nationals. However," he said pointedly, glancing first at Santana, then to Puck, "the song has to be appropriate."

"The best kinds are _in_appropriate," Santana insisted.

"I agree with her," Puck said with a shrug.

"An appropriate song, guys." He turned to the board to begin wiping it off. "We're done for the day."

Rachel immediately turned to Quinn to wrap her up in her arms. "I'm so excited about this!" she squealed. "I already have the perfect song for us."

"I'm sure you do," Quinn murmured.

They collected their books and Quinn slung her bag over her shoulder before grabbing Rachel's hand.

"Hey, Q."

She turned to the unfamiliar, soft voice to find Puck standing behind her, hands awkwardly jammed in his pocket and looking uncharacteristically chastened for a change. "Can we talk?" he asked.

"Umm…"

"I think that would be a marvelous idea," Rachel interjected quietly. She pressed a kiss to Quinn's cheek and let go of her hand. "Call me later, okay?"

"Okay," Quinn mumbled numbly as she watched Rachel walk away. There was shuffling behind her and she quickly turned around to find Puck walking over to a chair to sit down. "What did you want to talk about?" she asked, trying to sound strong and defiant, but the words choked from the back of her throat, garbled.

Puck stared up at her. "What—you can't sit beside me now?"

"What do you want, Puck?" Quinn sighed wearily.

"I want to apologize," he told her. "Look, I didn't mean to yell all that stuff at you. I just—I was trying to protect Shelby. And when she said that you two had gotten into an argument—"

"I am the one you had Beth with," Quinn suddenly interjected tightly, jabbing a finger into her own chest in emphasis. "Don't you _ever_ talk to me like that again."

"Yeah, and I'm the guy who knocked you up," Puck asserted as he stood up from the seat. "And ever since you've just been treating me like I'm just 'that guy' or some shit. _No_. I'm the reason you have her."

"_Had_!" Quinn yelled. She looked around, jaw clenching as she tried to calm her outbursts. "I don't even _have_ her anymore."

"So get over it," he said softly, walking towards her. "She really is Shelby's baby, Q."

Quinn quickly shook her head, muttering, "I don't need to hear this shit from you," as she pulled her bag further along her shoulder and prepared to walk away.

Puck reached out to tug on her arm. "I'm not trying to argue about this."

"Then _what_ are you trying to do?" she asked snidely as she glowered up at him.

"I'm apologizing." He held firm to her arm with a gentleness that belied the storm of emotions in his eyes. "I think we should both just move on. She's not yours, and…she's not mine, either. So let's not let this situation create this rift between us because once it's all said and done, neither one of us is going to have her, Quinn."

Teeth gritting, she had the shrinking urge to lash out with him, tell him to fuck off, or fuck Shelby then fuck off.

"You know I'm right," Puck said quietly. "Come on," he said. "Give Puckasaurus a hug."

She brought her hands up to her chest to protect herself even as he wrapped his arms around her. The scent of his cologne brought tears to her eyes for some unknown reason and she collapsed against him as he rocked them both gently. "I hate you sometimes," she whispered.

"I know," was all he said.

* * *

><p>"Quinnie, is that you?" Judy called from the top of the stairs as she heard Quinn puttering around downstairs.<p>

"Yeah," Quinn replied, sitting her bag down in a nearby chair. "Did you get the mail by any chance?"

"I did."

Quinn could hear the mirth in her mother's voice that simultaneously annoyed her and made her smile. "_And_?"

"And…"

She trailed off teasingly in a way that put Quinn in the mind of what now felt like an inappropriate conversation she had had earlier with Rachel in the hallway. "And, what?" Quinn asked in exasperation as she grabbed the railing along the stairs and took them two at a time.

"Your letter's here!" Judy yelled, arms raised in excitement as Quinn came running through the doorway. She plucked the long white envelope from Judy's hand and stared down at it in wonder. This moment felt so much more monumental than it had when she received her letter from OSU.

"I'm surprised you didn't open it," Quinn said, not even listening to herself as she stared down at it. This must have been what Rachel felt like, because she was suddenly nervous as hell. This was her future, and even though she still had one possibility, the possibility of living a squandering life in Lima was the most dismal of all futures she could think of.

"Open it, Quinn!" Judy screamed in her ear, possibly fucking up an eardrum because, to Quinn, her voice sounded very muffled right now.

"I'm nervous," Quinn thought she murmured back.

"Oh, for goodness sakes!" Judy walked over to her nightstand and grabbed her phone. "What's Rachel's number?"

Quinn rambled off seven digits like muscle memory as she turned her envelop around towards the back. It was sealed tightly to the point where she doubted air could even get through. She flipped it back over to find her own name, _Miss Quinn_ Fabray, proudly on the envelope.

"Yes, dear, I don't even think she can _hear_ me anymore," Judy spoke into the phone. Then she pulled it back, marched over to Quinn, and practically jabbed the phone into her ear. "Talk."

"Hello?" Quinn mumbled, feeling a bit queasy. Not many things mattered anymore. Her mother always would, Beth always would, Rachel always would. But Puck, Shelby, the last several years of her life all faded into the background.

"Baby?"

"Hey."

"Are you going to open that envelop soon?" Rachel asked softly.

Quinn stared down at it unblinkingly. "Do you think I got in?"

"I know you did."

There was so much confidence in Rachel's voice that didn't coincide with Quinn's trembling fingers that fumbled to get the envelop open. Then again, Quinn had always known Rachel to be the strong one of the two.

She fished out a creased, white letter and slowly opened it, unaware of Judy directly in front of her with the most eager look on her face Quinn had never seen.

Quinn swallowed thickly. "It says: Dear Quinn Fabray."

"Skip to the bottom, Quinn," both Rachel and Judy managed to tell her at the same time.

Her eyes wildly rolled around her head as they scrolled further down.

And three peculiar words that had never been directed at her before were staring up at her proudly on that paper.

_You've been accepted_…


	33. Chapter 33

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>"I have to tell <em>everyone<em>!" Judy announced proudly. "I have to tell your grandparents, my sister—I can't wait to rub it in her face. You know all of her children are squatters, dear."

"Yes, yes, I know," Quinn told her, eyes crinkling in amusement as she watched Judy run around in the kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off. She couldn't decide whether to cook or to make these phone calls she kept threatening about.

"Have you told your father?"

Quinn looked up from the book she was reading, sticking her thumb between the pages she was on and closing the book. "No."

"You probably should."

She waved off the comment. "He'll find out eventually."

Judy stopped everything, peering at Quinn from over the stove. Her eyes softened to roundness, showing depth to it that Quinn was still becoming accustomed to. "I'm so proud of you, Quinnie."

She despised that nickname like no other, but that didn't stop warmth from settling in her chest at the sight of the fond expression on her mother's face. "Thanks, mom."

"We have to tell, Frannie!" Judy declared suddenly. "She'd be so proud of you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled sadly at the mention of her sister. They hadn't talked in months, and right then and there she made a vow to call her soon.

"I have to tell the congregation at church." Judy's expression darkened. "That'll teach those gossip mongers to talk about my daughter."

She shrugged. She didn't too much care about gossip nowadays since she had been out of the Cheerios and on the outskirts of popularity. Funny how things changed.

Judy turned down a pot to medium on the stove and wiped her hands on her apron. "How is Beth?" she asked tentatively.

Quinn was immediately thrown out of her thoughts at the mention of Beth. "She's well." Her lips quivered with a smile. "We had a riveting conversation the other day about how potty trained she is."

"Oh? She must be a smart girl," Judy said.

Quinn nodded. "She is."

"She gets it from you, Quinn."

"I hope that's the only thing she gets from me."

Judy hesitated for a moment, not really sure how to respond to such a dark statement. "You're a good person, Quinn," she finally said. She cleared a lump of emotion that was tickling her throat and wiped a rag absentmindedly across the countertop as she thought of a subject change. "Are you running for prom queen? I haven't heard anything."

Quinn shook her head. "I'm not really interested." There was nothing in her voice that indicated otherwise, and Judy nodded. She hadn't really expected Quinn to run, though she would have loved for her to.

Quinn watched her intently, looking for any signs of disappointment on her mother's face. But Judy just brought her head up a moment later after wiping the countertop with a small smile. "That's completely understandable," was all she said, much to Quinn's surprise.

* * *

><p>"Just make sure that you still get your studies in," Hiram said worriedly as he followed an exasperated Rachel out of her room and down the stairs. "You don't want to be following behind because—"<p>

"Daddy!"

Leroy looked up from the newspaper to his wailing daughter scurrying down the steps with his husband in tow. "Can you _please_ tell dad that just because Quinn and I will be in relatively the same place without parental discretion does _not_ in _any_ way mean that she and I will simply have sex all day long."

He watched Rachel tuck a lock of hair behind her ear in frustration before crossing her arms firmly across her chest. Hiram had his hands on his hips, glaring down at his daughter as if every word that just came out of her mouth was a lie.

"Okay, take what she just said?" Leroy prompted with a smirk. "And assume she means the opposite."

"_Daddy_!" she whined.

"That's it!" Hiram declared. "You're not going to NYADA!"

"Dad!"

"Then she must be staying here," Leroy replied nonchalantly as he flipped to another page. "Because she hasn't applied anywhere else."

Rachel opened her mouth to refute, then thought about it, and refolded her arms resolutely. "Exactly. Which means that you have no choice but to let me attend NYADA, dad. I have big dreams, after all. I can't just stay here all my life."

"Nor can she stay chaste, apparently," was Leroy's sarcastic reply.

Rachel reddened at the remark, but held her chin high.

Hiram's face pulled down sadly as he regarded Rachel. "My baby's leaving." He swiftly took her into his arms and held her tightly.

Leroy looked over at the two of them with a fond, sad smile. "She is." He placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand. "But she left us a long time ago, honey."

Rachel lifted her head from Hiram's shoulder to glance over at Leroy in confusion.

"She left us a long time ago. Proof was on the night she asked us if she could stay over Quinn's house instead of ours."

Blushing, she buried her face into Hiram's shoulder with a smile.

* * *

><p>"I am so out of here," Quinn mumbled to herself, crossing one leg over the other and resting her chin in her hand as she sat at her desk. Spring fever had kicked in long ago and it was getting increasingly difficult to find the motivation to pay attention, especially since she wasn't struggling to get her grades back up anymore. Now that they had reached a comfortable A average, she was content to sit back and ride out the rest of the school year. She was <em>happy<em> to sit back and ride out the rest of the school year now that she knew she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life in Lima.

Her letter from Yale was just around the corner and she found herself…excited about the possibility of getting in. Whether she would attend or not was still up in the air for her, but the possibility of getting in left her excited.

"Quinn? Quinn Fabray?"

She looked up to find her teacher staring directly at her. Her eyes shifted to find Rachel standing in the doorway with her hands clasped demurely in front of her. Hiding a smirk, Quinn addressed her teacher innocuously. "Yes, Mrs. Williams?"

Mrs. Williams pointed her attention to Rachel. "Miss Berry says that she has some important details about glee to discuss with you." Her features hardened the barest hint. "Normally I don't allow such distractions, but since you guys have made it to Nationals, I'll allow it."

"How gracious of you," Quinn said, attempting to bite back the sarcasm in her voice as she smoothly rose from her seat. "I shouldn't be long."

Rachel watched with rapt attention as Quinn sauntered towards her. She opened the door, eyes widening to land on Quinn's ass as she allowed Quinn to walk out first.

* * *

><p>Rachel grabbed hastily at Quinn's ass with a whimper as Quinn thrusted against her harshly. The shelves behind her rattled in protest, one digging into Rachel's lower back as she hooked a leg around Quinn's hip.<p>

"I'm not fucking you in here," Quinn told her lowly even as she grasped Rachel's thigh and hoisted it higher along her hip.

Rachel huffed out a breath, half frustrated, half aroused. "I didn't ask you to," she retorted, aligning herself directly with Quinn's hip. When Quinn rocked forward a second time she cried out softly into the dim janitor's closet, head thrown back to rest on a shelf as dark, thick hair cascaded down her back.

Quinn's will power withered before her as she watched the smooth expanse of Rachel's throat work with a tight swallow. Slim hips pumped furiously against her and she moaned, burying herself into Rachel's neck as an enraptured swear left her mouth.

It had been like this for the past two weeks. Ever since finding out that Quinn had been accepted to NYU, Rachel couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Quinn for long. But she couldn't help it. The fact that they were going to be spending their future together in the same place just made her love Quinn all the more and that love often manifested itself physically to the point where nothing but a good fuck would satiate her need to express her love for Quinn. And even then, she didn't stay satiated long.

"Okay, I've changed my mind," Rachel whispered thickly into Quinn's ear. The hair on the back of Quinn's neck stood on end and she groaned when Rachel's tongue darted out to trace the shell of her ear. "I do want you to fuck me here."

"Rachel," Quinn groaned, almost petulantly, and she frowned at the smile she could feel against her ear. "It's dirty in here. And anyone could walk in."

Rachel largely ignored her as she focused on the warmth settling low in her stomach as she rubbed against Quinn slowly like a cat in heat. "I don't care, Quinn," she panted, burying her face into Quinn's neck as she clutched at her shoulders. "I need you."

"We only have a couple more hours," Quinn gritted out, her grip on Rachel's hip so tight they both knew it would bruise. The thought made Rachel moan as her hardened clit dragged against Quinn's hipbone through her soiled underwear.

"I need you _now_," Rachel clarified through a growl. She was done talking and if Quinn wasn't going to touch her then she was more than capable of getting off this way if given the adequate time. She worked her hips faster against Quinn in an effort to finish before their next class.

"Hmm, and guess what," Quinn crooned. "You'll still need me a couple of hours from now, so you'll be fine until then."

"Shh, shh," Rachel shushed her. "You're talking too much right now."

Quinn barked out an amused laugh as she pressed harder against Rachel, reveling in the whine that ripped from her throat. "Fuck you, Berry."

Rachel's lips curved into a shaky smile as she pulled back with sin black eyes that stared holes through Quinn. "I really, _really _wish you would."

* * *

><p>Rachel collapsed back onto her bed with a satisfied moan as pleasurable aftershocks began to dissipate.<p>

"You have too much energy," Quinn told her breathlessly as she turned onto her stomach to bury her face into Rachel's pillows. They smelled so much like her that Quinn found herself wrapping an arm around one even though the real thing was mere inches away from her.

Rachel tugged on Quinn weakly with limbs that were still jelly weak. "Come over here," she whined.

"I'm right here," Quinn mumbled into the pillow.

Rachel grinned as she tugged harder. "Come lay on my big, strong chest."

A muffled laugh could be heard before Quinn dragged her face up with a mocking grin that could be seen through the wild hair clouding her face. "Your big chest with your ample cleavage—"

"You're one to talk," Rachel cut in.

"Hey!" Quinn clutched at her small breasts with a frown. "Don't make fun of them."

"I love them," Rachel assured, voice dipping into a purr as she pulled Quinn closer. Quinn shuffled closer until they were lying on the same pillow, eyes slipping shut contentedly as Rachel nuzzled their noses. "I can't wait until our date night," she said serenely.

Quinn's eyes clenched shut tighter as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. "About that…"

Rachel immediately sat up on her elbows to stare down at Quinn. "Please don't tell me our plans are ruined already. _Quinn_," she whined.

"No, they're not ruined," Quinn mumbled as she sat up as well. Her gaze drooped to peer up at Rachel through long eyelashes which she batted passively.

Rachel cursed herself as she stared into deep hazel eyes. She knew what Quinn was doing, attempting to butter Rachel up so that when she dropped whatever bomb she was holding, Rachel wouldn't be as upset. Inhaling a deep breath at the sight of the pure, natural beauty before her, Rachel attempted to stay strong and not allow Quinn to play games. Her eyebrows lifted along her forehead as if to say, _Tell me exactly what happened_.

Quinn clucked her tongue in annoyance that her trick didn't work. "I invited Santana and Brittany on our date."

Rachel's jaw dropped, looking completely aghast as she stared at Quinn. "You _what_?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "I didn't think it'd be a big deal."

"Quinn, this our very first date," Rachel lamented with a pout. "I can't believe you invited other people."

"But the year is almost over and Santana wanted to hang out."

Rachel flung herself back onto the bed, turning onto her side away from Quinn. "You could have used some other time besides our first date to repair your broken friendship with her."

Quinn stared longingly at the smooth expanse of Rachel's back being presented to her. She reached out with hesitant fingers to run them down Rachel's back. When Rachel didn't move away, Quinn scooted closer, molding herself into Rachel's back and wrapping her arm around her waist. Despite Rachel's protest, Quinn wedged a leg between tan thighs anyway and nuzzled into dark, wavy hair. "Are you mad at me?" she asked softly.

"Yes," Rachel muttered, trying to ignore the way her stomach fluttered as Quinn's thumb stroked just below her belly button. Fleeting kisses were pressed along her neck and she squirmed as Quinn breathed into her ear, "Don't be mad."

"I _am_," Rachel insisted, though her resolve was slowly leaving her.

"Baby," Quinn crooned into her ear. Her bottom lip jutted out along Rachel's earlobe and Rachel sighed. "Don't be mad at me."

"I'm even angrier because you find my upset so amusing."

Quinn pulled back enough so that the smile on her face wouldn't be felt by Rachel. "No, I don't."

"You do."

Sighing, Quinn nuzzled behind Rachel's ear. "I honestly don't want you to be upset. They won't ruin our date. I promise."

Rachel worried her bottom lip between her teeth, staring at the soft hue of yellow on her wall. It was Quinn's favorite color, she had learned after Quinn had opened up after a few visits to declare such a factual statement. "Santana hates me."

"She doesn't," Quinn assured.

"She threw a slushie in my face at the beginning of the year," Rachel commented dryly, brow furrowing at the memory.

"Hey," Quinn called softly. She tugged on Rachel's arm to get her to turn around. "Look at me." Rachel turned around fully to find Quinn's critical gaze washing over her face. "If this really bothers you, I can call it off."

Rachel bit the corner of her lip as she stared into concerned hazel eyes. It was really unfair; the amount of love and care she always saw in her girlfriend's eyes could melt her resolve into nothing. She sighed and slumped back against the bed. "We can go on the date with them," she grumbled.

A smile alighting Quinn's face was Rachel's reward as Quinn draped herself across her to kiss her breathless. "Thank you," Quinn murmured against her lips.

"Another kiss," Rachel demanded petulantly.

Quinn smiled indulgently and leaned down to press their lips together again.

"And another."

Their lips met again.

"One more."

Quinn rose onto her knees to hover above Rachel with a wolfish grin on her lips before she leaned down and attacked Rachel's mouth with a thorough kiss. Rachel giggled through a moan as Quinn sucked on her lower lip before nipping at it flirtatiously.

"Okay," she breathed once Quinn pulled back. "Now that that's settled, we have to start preparing for Nationals."

Quinn dipped her head, almost shyly to rest against Rachel's chest. "I kind of already picked out a song."

A slow, happy smile tugged the corners of Rachel's lips upwards at the prospect of Quinn taking something she loved so dearly seriously. She brought a hand up to toy with the wisps of hair at the back of Quinn's neck. "That's wonderful, Quinn," she murmured. "What song did you choose?"

"It's—umm—" Quinn pulled away from Rachel to crawl over her and off the bed. "You'd really have to hear it first because—hold on."

Rachel couldn't help but smile. It wasn't every day that Quinn was shy and she was eating up every moment of this. But then Quinn slipped from the bed, naked as the day she was born, and Rachel's attention shifted from how shy Quinn was to…how much flawless pale skin was being presented to her, unmarked but for the few hickies that Rachel's mouth couldn't resist leaving.

Quinn stood hunched over Rachel's desk, toying with her laptop. "What's your password?"

"FutureStarlet1," Rachel declared happily, unable to see Quinn rolling her eyes as she typed the password in. She quickly opened a web browser and typed YouTube into the url.

"Okay, this is the song," Quinn told her a moment later as she clicked play. She scampered back over to the bed with the computer and climbed under the covers to warm her sweat cooled skin and chase away the goosebumps. "Also," she began sternly, "save all judgement until after the song is over."

Rachel didn't respond, already throwing that command out of the window as the song started.

_I'm starting to feel we've stayed together out of fear of dying alone._

"Okay, stop," Rachel cut in sharply. She looked over at her girlfriend incredulously. "What the hell, Quinn?"

Quinn stiffened at the swear. "What?"

"Is this your way of trying to tell me something?"

Quinn pressed pause on the song and sighed. "I told you not to judge."

"Yeah, and I now reserve the right to judge when the first lyric of the song is about how two people are only staying together because they don't want to be alone." She folded her arms across her chest and Quinn, admittedly, had to put forth some effort to not allow her gaze to drop to Rachel's more pronounced cleavage.

"You don't get it," Quinn gritted out. "This is us."

"_That's_ not _me_," Rachel insisted, starting to feel hurt. "Nor are those my feelings for you."

"Okay, no, stop," Quinn said softly. She sat the computer down further along the bed and scooped a barely resisting Rachel Berry into her arms. "Look, I just—I think about us whenever I listen to that song."

"That's not very promising," Rachel griped.

"The first lyric, when I think about it, is how you and I functioned before we met each other," Quinn explained quietly. "At our most basic level, neither of us wanted to be alone. I skipped from Finn to Puck to Sam. _You_ skipped from Finn to Puck to Jesse, and…we always seemed to need someone there so that we wouldn't feel alone."

Rachel released a long sigh, begrudgingly agreeing though she wasn't about to voice it. "And then we found each other," Quinn continued. "And I think a part of the appeal that we found in each other in the beginning was that we were both looking for the same thing: _not_ being alone. And I think of that when I hear this lyric."

"But-but not _now_, right?" Rachel asked nervously. "You don't feel that way about us now?"

"How could you even ask that?" She pressed a kiss to Rachel's temple, feeling her face flush as she muttered, "What I feel for you I've never felt for anyone before."

Rachel gave a slight smile. "Good."

"Mhm."

"Don't," she mumbled for good measure, beseeching Quinn to never feel that way about anyone else ever again.

Quinn cracked a small smile. "I won't." She turned toward the laptop, resting her head against Rachel's. "Can I press play again, or…?"

Rachel nodded, and Quinn reached out to press play and settled back against Rachel once more.

_I've been slipping through the years. My old clothes don't fit like they once did. So they hang like ghosts of the people I've been._

The words meant more to Quinn than it meant to hers and Rachel's relationship, but the music began to pick up after that and Quinn let it slide, content to not share and allow the rest of the song to play out if Rachel didn't have any more hang-ups about it.

But Rachel's hand darted out to press pause and Quinn sighed.

"What did that mean?" Rachel asked.

"Does every lyric have to have a meaning?" Quinn asked innocuously.

Rachel twisted out from under Quinn and leveled her with an even gaze. "I know you, Quinn Fabray." When Quinn rolled her eyes away, Rachel grabbed her hand and tugged her impossibly closer. She reached out with the other hand to toggle the mouse on her laptop and the song skipped back a few seconds until the very same lyrics played over again. She listened intently, then looked back up to Quinn. "Tell me," she urged.

Quinn shrugged as if it was no big deal, though this song often times spoke to her more than anything else. She rubbed the side of her face with the hand Rachel wasn't holding and dipped her gaze lower, feeling foolish all of a sudden. "I just went through different phases in my life—clothing-wise." She inhaled a deep breath. "First I was fat Lucy—"

"Quinn," Rachel admonished gravely. She was still trying to reconcile the fact that Quinn was really two different people—the Quinn Fabray Rachel had known for almost four years and the Lucy Quinn Fabray that Quinn Fabray despised. And since Rachel couldn't help but love and sympathize with Lucy, the girl who no one else seemed to love, she hated whenever Quinn would talk about her, essentially _herself_ with so much scorn.

Quinn nodded in some form of acquiescence. "I wore a lot of fat clothes," she declared flatly. "Then I got to high school, was in shape and I wore my Cheerios uniform. _That_ Quinn was different from Lucy, but she was also _very_ different from the Quinn I was earlier in the year who wore shirts that said 'Hell is so hot right now', who was _completely_ different from the cross wearing, frilly Sunday-dresses wearing girl I was when I was pregnant." She inhaled deeply, rubbing along the creases in her forehead. "I must sound crazy."

"You don't," Rachel said softly, grabbing Quinn's other hand. She leaned forward and kissed Quinn on the forehead, mumbling, "You're just very good at adapting."

Quinn croaked out a laugh. "Is that what you call it? I'd call it conforming." Her eyes raked down Rachel's naked torso, remembering how even now her outfits were largely the same as they were two and three years ago. "You never conform."

Rachel shrugged a shoulder halfheartedly. "It's not good for making friends," she admitted.

"At least you keep your dignity," Quinn insisted. "And your sanity."

She beamed a large smile at the fact that her individuality was being appreciated. All throughout her high school career it felt like _she_ was the weirdo for not conforming to what was deemed 'cool' at the time and though it had taken years, it filled her heart with joy to know that Quinn finally appreciated her for being different.

"Okay, let's listen to the rest," Rachel said, warming up to the song now that she understood that it held a deeper meaning for Quinn.

_It's like my heart can't be tamed. I fall in love every day. And I feel like a fool._

Rachel smiled, melting into Quinn's side. She could relate to that lyric and was glad that Quinn could as well.

_I have to face the truth that no one could ever look at me like you do, like I'm something worth holding on to._

The harmonizing of two voices towards the end made her excited as thoughts of her and Quinn singing this to each other in front of hundreds of people during Nationals flitted through her mind.

Quinn discreetly watched Rachel's reactions from the corner of her eye, unable to directly face Rachel as the song was playing. It suddenly felt incredibly sappy and embarrassing.

_There's times I think of leaving_…

Rachel immediately frowned, recalling the moment Quinn broke up with her. But before she could protest, the song continued.

…_but it's something I'll never do. _

'_Cause you can do better than me_…

She opened her mouth once again to protest.

…_but I can't do better than you._

The lyrics repeated themselves, just those two lines that seemed to echo in Rachel's mind as the melodious song came to an end. She paused for a beat, gathering her thoughts and then turned to Quinn. "Is that what you think?"

Quinn shrugged a shoulder. "There will always be someone more talented than me."

"And there will always be someone prettier than me," Rachel said softly. "But talent is subjective. You're amazing in school and regardless of everything…I would never leave you," she declared boldly.

"I know." Quinn reached out to brush a lock of hair behind Rachel's ear to better see large, brown eyes. Her fingers traced along defined cheekbones softly. "I think you're beautiful." She exhaled a shaky breath. "And I wouldn't leave you either. Not again."

"But we're both crazy enough to think we're undeserving of each other," Rachel concluded with an amused smile.

A corner of Quinn's mouth lifted into a lopsided grin.

Two sides of the same coin.

That was what they ultimately were.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: The song in this chapter is entitled _You Can Do Better Than Me_ by Death Cab for Cutie.


	34. Chapter 34

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **NC-17

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:**I've been gone from this fic for longer than I wanted to be—real life and all that. But here's an update. 2 more (for real this time, haha) should wrap this story up in a neat bow, though I'll be sad when the time comes to put these characters down. And to the lovely readers reading WDMO, an update will be happening…soon-ish. Again, I have a life to live and all that good stuff, but whenever I get down time I either study or update these fics, whichever is main priority at the moment. Without further ado, here's the new chapter. Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Your locker's so…girly," Ronnie complained with a frown, peering into the depths of Quinn's locker that held neatly stacked binders ranging in color from pink to black, pictures of her and Rachel, and of glee club, a mirror on the far wall and rainbow stickers that Rachel had taken the liberty of sticking in.<p>

"I _am_ a girl, you know," Quinn shot back from a few paces away with her arms across her chest. Ronnie along with Mack and Sheila were weeding through Quinn's locker, collecting what they wanted and throwing out what they didn't.

"Girl, or pussy?" Mack quipped, peeling away a picture of Quinn and Rachel, nose scrunching in disgust. "You can keep that."

Quinn snatched the picture with a sneer on her face. "I was going to."

"Can I have this ACDC album?" Sheila asked, grabbing it from under a single subject spiral notebook. She looked over to Quinn's nodding head and grinned. "You like it?"

"'Thunderstruck' was a personal favorite," Quinn said. She looked on as her friends treated her locker like a scavenger hunt of goodies. Quinn reasoned it probably was. She felt like she had lived so many lives in the past four years of high school and it had all played out right before her friends' eyes as they roamed over her locker. A small smile flickered over her lips as she watched Mack and Ronnie fight over who was going to have the headshot of her with pink hair, tan skin, heavy eyeliner, lipstick and a nose ring.

"Quinn, tell her I get to have it before I kick her ass!" Mack insisted as she held the photo behind her back.

"Like you could," Ronnie growled.

Quinn kicked off the row of lockers, lugging a bag full of memorabilia from her own locker that she couldn't part with as she walked towards them. She slid past them and into her locker, plucking a photo from its ceiling and handing it to Ronnie.

Ronnie barked out an amused laugh, eyes flitting from Quinn to the photo. "Dude, you were so trashed." She nodded her approval. "Grade A shit."

"I thought you'd approve." Quinn gestured towards the photo. "Have it. Anytime you need a good laugh, look at that photo and think of all the embarrassing things we did that day."

"Will do."

"I still can't believe you're leaving," Mack said quietly.

"Right?" Sheila agreed. "We just got to know you, girl."

"Not again, guys," Quinn griped, starting to feel sentimental. "I'm not gone yet."

"Yeah, but you're cleaning out your locker," Mack told her.

Quinn nodded. "Which is something you guys should be doing too, instead of shopping in mine."

"Yeah, but we—"

Quinn zoned out of the conversation as she saw Puck walk down the hallway towards his locker. In recent months without seeing Beth, Quinn had come to mentally associate Puck with her. He was her only way inside, the only one who could share anecdotes of how Beth was growing up—aside from Shelby, but she was someone who Quinn never wanted to talk to unless necessary.

"Hey, guys, I have to go," Quinn told them once she tuned back into the conversation. "I have to talk to a friend about something."

"We're not finished here," Ronnie told her, placing the photo Quinn gave her neatly into her pocket.

Quinn waved it off. "Take all the time you want. And take everything in there. Seriously, I don't want any of what's left."

"Not even these Cheerio pics?" Mack asked as Quinn began to walk off.

"I have enough of those," Quinn called over her shoulder. She walked down the hallway filled with busy chatter from excited students cleaning their lockers.

Puck noticed her before she approached and flashed a tentative smile, looking back to his locker to clean everything out. "'Sup, Q?"

"Hey." She saddled up beside him, leaning back against a nearby locker. For possibly only the second time she had known him, she was feeling awkward and uneasy. She didn't know what to say to him, yet felt compelled to speak.

"Last week of school," Puck announced, pulling his head out from his locker to stare at her. He picked up on her unease easily enough and smiled genuinely. "Can't say it counts for much, though. Still got that damn glee club."

She giggled, thankful for the way that he could simplify moments. "Sucks, right? I'd just like to be able to stay home all day."

"And read?" Puck quipped with a grin.

"Something like that," she said with an echoing smile.

Smile still in place, Puck returned to his locker. He reached to the back of it and produced a picture, peeling tape off the back of it, and handed it to Quinn.

Her heart stopped immediately as that tiny face on the photo neared her. Gingerly, Quinn reached out to take it, eyes widening to take in more information as they roamed over Beth's face.

She looked so much more mature than she had when Quinn had last seen her. Beth's hair was steadily growing in an even mix of blonde with darker roots that Quinn somehow found endearing on Beth but hated within herself. Her face was still round with pudgy cheeks. A grin lit her face happily, barely there teeth protruding from her gums. She was utterly beautiful with an innocence and sweetness about her that still made Quinn want to cry.

"When did you take this?" she croaked out breathlessly.

Puck closed his locker and took a step towards her. "It's recent," he answered.

"She looks—"

"Like you?"

Quinn smiled. "And you."

He watched the way her critical gaze memorized every nuance of Beth's face like Quinn was starved for some form of contact with her. With long, shaky fingers, Quinn extended the photo back to Puck, but he shook his head. "Keep it."

Relief flooded her normally impassive features. "Are you sure?"

"I gotta fuck-ton of pictures of her on my phone, babe."

"Thanks, Puck. I—" She trailed off, not knowing how to express her gratitude. They had been through hell and back together to end up here. And…it was as good of a sendoff as anything.

He waved her off, not wanting to get into feelings and other complications. "Don't worry about it." He pulled his bag higher along his shoulder, suddenly looking anxious as he leaned closer. "So, look, her birthday is—"

"June eighth," Quinn said softly. "I remember."

"I want you to be there," Puck told her. "So just—whatever's going on with Shelby—I'll talk to her."

Quinn's eyes lit up much like Beth's in the photo at the chance to see Beth on her birthday. "That'd be awesome. I can get her a gift and everything."

Puck nodded back. "I was struggling trying to find out what to get her. But look just…be on your best behavior, okay? She'll say yes if you don't act mean towards her."

There was something to be said about the fact that former trouble maker, juvenile delinquent, Noah Puckerman was telling straight A, Christian good girl, Quinn Fabray to be on her best behavior, but considering her recent track record and the fact that Puck was actually trying to help her, Quinn couldn't find it in herself to be upset.

* * *

><p>"I'm ready to go!" Rachel chirped brightly as she stashed a small wad of money into her tiny purse and slung it across her shoulder. One can never be too prepared for unforeseen circumstances.<p>

Quinn took one look at her, eyebrow shooting up in bemusement. "…You're wearing that?"

Dark brown eyes crinkled in confusion before Rachel ran them down her body in critical assessment. She had on an adorable white and black polka-dotted dress with black flats. Cute, with sensible shoes. She saw no problem. "Yes?"

Quinn sighed. "Do you see what I have on?"

Oh, Rachel had seen. Quinn was wearing Rachel's favorite pair of faded, paint spattered jeans that made her artsy, yet oddly sophisticated as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. She wore an entirely too big plain, black v-neck shirt that Rachel suspected belonged to her father. It was cut at the bottom to show her midriff in a way that restored whatever femininity Quinn thought would have been lost without it.

"Yes, and you look lovely," Rachel said as her eyes scaled back up to Quinn's own. "I hardly see what that has to do with me, though."

Without another word Quinn glided smoothly through Rachel's room to her dresser. She opened a drawer and searched through a mound of neatly folded skirts for a pair of jeans. "Do you remember where we're going today?" she asked conversationally after a moment.

Rachel took hesitant steps closer to where Quinn was ripping apart her drawer like a mad woman. "Yes, we're going to the local pet store to assist the SPCA today."

Quinn righted herself to unfold a size one pair of jeans. "Right." She tossed the pair of pants over her shoulder and went to another drawer, opening it in search of a shirt. "We're going to be dealing with dirty orphaned dogs."

Rachel frowned, not liking her language. "Quinn—"

"Which are _adorable_," Quinn cut in with a roll of her eyes that went unseen by Rachel. "But you're going to be getting dirty and wet."

"Tell me more," Rachel purred with a grin.

Quinn scoffed, grabbing a shirt before straightening and turning to find Rachel behind her. "And you're going to be pissed if you get that dress dirty," Quinn told her.

Rachel pouted as she grabbed the shirt and jeans from Quinn's hand. "That wasn't the ending I was hoping for."

"Probably not," Quinn agreed as she reclined on Rachel's bed to watch Rachel take her dress off. It pooled to the floor, and her eyes roamed freely over unblemished tan skin and matching lace underwear. Rachel's lingerie had gotten decidedly sexier since they had started having sex, Quinn noticed with a head tilt, biting her lip in contemplation. "But maybe tonight will end the way you were hoping for."

Rachel squeezed into her jeans with a tiny grin and blush.

* * *

><p>"Are you nervous?" Quinn asked as they approached her house.<p>

Rachel took a deep breath, eyes dancing all around the house before landing squarely on the door they were approaching. "A little."

Placing the key inside the keyhole, Quinn turned to flash Rachel a reassuring smile. "Don't be. My mother is—well she's trying. And she's come a long way. I mean, she did call you that day I got accepted into NYU."

"She did," Rachel admitted with an answering smile. She liked Quinn's mother_—now_, anyway. Rachel didn't much care for her in the past because she had turned a blind eye while Russell kicked Quinn out of the house, only begging Quinn to come back once Russell moved out and she was feeling lonely. But it seemed that Judy was trying to make amends, and was accepting Rachel fairly well. And Rachel had wanted to get to know Judy better for a while now.

"Alright," Quinn announced as she unlocked the door and turned the doorknob. "Here goes nothing." She pushed the door open and stepped inside, holding it open for Rachel and closing it once she was inside. "Mom, I'm home!" she called loudly, motioning for Rachel to follow as she walked through the house.

Predictably, Judy was in the kitchen, making something familiar that made Rachel pause as Judy turned around with a smile. "Hello, dear. I was just preparing—"

"Vegan creamy vegetable gratin," Rachel whispered, slack jawed and wide-eyed as she regarded Judy.

With a smug grin, Judy turned to Quinn. "Told you she'd like it."

Quinn turned to look at Rachel who grew sheepish under their gazes in her excitement at the seemingly small gesture of Judy grocery shopping and cooking a meal that Rachel could eat. In all actuality it meant the world to Rachel.

"Oh, look, you've made her shy," Quinn teased as Rachel took a step closer and tucked herself into Quinn's side.

"Thank you, Judy," Rachel said sincerely. "This means much more to me than you know."

Judy's grin morphed into a genuine smile as she regarded Rachel. "You're much more mannerable than Finn had been," Judy said. "He would just come in and ate. Everything."

Rachel giggled. "My fathers say the same thing about Quinn—that she's much more mannerable."

Judy smiled proudly. "She'd better be. By the way, Quinn, you left your phone on the dining room table," Judy told her. "And you've got a missed call." Her eyes were sharp as she regarded Quinn, a subtle message to not take her words lightly.

Disentangling herself from Rachel, Quinn gave a small nod and walked out of the room. She found her phone right where Judy said it was with a missed call.

From Shelby.

Quinn reasoned Judy didn't want to say who the call was from to avoid making Rachel feel awkward. Immediately wondering if Beth was okay, Quinn redialed Shelby's number, walking upstairs to take the call in private.

"Hello?" Shelby answered two rings later.

"Hey, is Beth okay?" Quinn asked abruptly.

Shelby laughed quietly and Quinn's brow furrowed. "She's fine, great actually. How are you Quinn?"

"Other than wanting to see Beth, I'm great," Quinn replied with mild sarcasm.

Shelby was silent for a moment, and Quinn sat down on the edge of her bed, hating that she was hanging onto Shelby's every word. "How is Rachel?"

"She's fine," Quinn answered guardedly.

"Right. Okay, so, you're probably wondering why I'm calling," Shelby said, trailing off for a moment before she followed up with, "Puck has told me that you're interested in coming to Beth's birthday party."

Quinn opened her mouth to respond.

"And by birthday party, I mean Puck and I sitting around like overgrown children with party hats on our head trying to entertain a little girl too young to even fully grasp the concept of a birthday party."

An unexpected yet genuine laugh bubbled in Quinn's throat. "That sounds…pretty damn lame, actually."

Shelby chuckled. "Just a little bit. So, are you interested in also attending this lame party?"

"Yeah," Quinn said, voice suddenly going soft at the possibility of seeing Beth again after being apart from her for so long. "I'd like that."

"Are you free Friday?"

Quinn bit her lip in uncertainty. "Puck didn't tell you? We have Nationals on Friday, and—"

"No, he didn't tell me," Shelby cut in. "But that's alright. We can move things to Saturday if that's more convenient for everyone. I know there's no way Rachel would miss Nationals."

The implication wasn't lost on Quinn as her eyes widened to softening circles. "We'll be there Saturday," she whispered. There was no way of knowing whether or not this was going to turn out well, but Quinn wanted Rachel to be there and she knew Rachel would want to be there, too.

"That sounds great." There was fussing in the background followed by a very demanding call for "_Mom_," from a voice Quinn recognized very well. "I suppose I should go," Shelby continued. "She's awake."

"Tell her I said hi," Quinn rushed out, staring into nothing as she pictured the roundness of Beth's face.

"Would you like to talk to her?"

Quinn did. But to her utter surprise, she found herself saying, "Maybe tomorrow. I'm kind of on a date right now."

She didn't know if moving on was supposed to hurt as well, but she took deep breaths, fisting her hand and digging it into her thigh. "And tell her I love her."

Shelby murmured an affirmative, understanding lacing her voice and when Quinn couldn't take it anymore, she politely dismissed her and hung up. A lone tear slid down her cheek, but she wiped it away, stood from the bed and walked downstairs to where her family was.

Quinn rounded on the kitchen, but held back as she listened to Rachel and Judy quietly have a conversation…about sexuality of all things.

"It's not that I'm homophobic," Judy explained around the sound of a stack of plates. "It's just that I don't really understand how—Quinn had never displayed any of the signs."

"I cannot speak for Quinn," Rachel then explained as Quinn took a step closer to the threshold of the kitchen, ready to squash this conversation if it turned ugly. "But for me—I had been exposed to same-sex couplings my entire life via my fathers. Granted, that did not _make_ me gay, as the stereotype of two gay parents raising a gay child likes to perpetuate. I don't even identify as a lesbian. But I…" she trailed off, and Quinn had the oddest urge to see the expression on Rachel's face. "I had always thought Quinn was very pretty, yet had so much more to offer the world than her looks," Rachel continued quietly. "And I had never shied away from the admiration I felt towards girls the way many girls are taught to do in a predominantly heterosexual society."

"I can't…relate to that," Judy finally concluded, and for some reason, Quinn smiled. "All I know is that you make Quinn happy. And you help her aspire to be a better person in spite of everything. She's _such_ a good person."

"She is," Rachel agreed, the smile in her voice wafting to Quinn's ears.

"And if she's done eavesdropping, she can come in and eat," Judy said, projecting her voice.

Quinn stiffened at the comment, ducking her head almost sheepishly, before she lifted her chin high and walked into the kitchen. Judy was standing in front of the stove with an eyebrow arched as if saying, "_gotcha!_" while Rachel was leaning against the refrigerator with her hands clasped behind her back, looking like a regular fixture in her home.

Rachel smiled warmly at Quinn, extending her hand when Quinn was within touching distance and clasped their hands together, swinging them once before resting them by her side. Hazel eyes flitted to Judy once, then back to Rachel.

A small smile playing across Judy's lips was her only reaction.

* * *

><p>Rachel wrung her hands together nervously as she walked along side Quinn towards the SPCA building. Her head whipped around in search for Santana and Brittany.<p>

"They're not here yet," Quinn told her as they reached the building. She opened the door and held it open for Rachel as they both walked inside.

"Are you sure Santana doesn't hate me?" Rachel whispered back as they walked towards a nearby desk.

Quinn flashed a polite smile towards the woman behind it, gritting, "Positive," out through her teeth before she extended her hand to 'Mary' as her nametag suggested. "Good afternoon," she greeted. "I'm Quinn, and this is my—Rachel," she corrected.

Rachel titled her head curiously with slight amusement.

"We're here to volunteer today," Quinn finished with another polite smile.

The woman instantly perked up at volunteer and smiled cheerfully at the pair. "Ah, yes, volunteers. We even made you ladies nametags."

Rachel stepped toward the desk, nearly eclipsing Quinn in her newfound eagerness. "Nametags, you say?"

Mary nodded and pulled out two white nametags from her drawer, handing one to Rachel and one to Quinn. "We have a few dogs and cats here today that could use baths and a good meal," Mary informed them.

"Yay," Rachel said softly, clapping her hands together. Her hair whipped around as she turned to face Quinn with widening eyes. "Can we wash the dogs first?"

"You and Q are getting the cats. Britts and I wants a cute lab to scrub down," a familiar voice called from behind them. Rachel stiffened as Quinn swiveled around to find Brittany and Santana standing before them, dressed in jeans and matching t-shirts.

Her head tilted as she regarded them. "Cute, guys, real cute."

Santana unfolded her arms with an eyeroll, passing between the pair without a greeting and walking directly up to the desk. "Two nametags. Lopez and Pierce."

Brittany bounced forward to hug Quinn in greeting. "Hey, Q! I'm super excited to hang with you guys today!"

"I am, too, B," Quinn murmured, surprised at how much she actually meant those words. The school year was basically over and she liked to have a few more opportunities to bond with the girls she had been friends with since freshman year.

Brittany pulled back with a grin, turning towards Rachel. She looked apprehensive for all of a moment, and Quinn could practically see the moment when Brittany mentally shrugged it off and wrapped Rachel in a bear hug. "You get hugs, too," Brittany told Rachel.

Stunned, it took Rachel a moment to respond, then tentative arms were being wrapped around Brittany's waist. She cleared the lump in her throat. "Good afternoon, Brittany." Her gaze ran to Quinn in nervousness, but Quinn just gave her a small, close lipped smile of reassurance.

"We're totally gonna have fun today," Brittany promised as she pulled back. "I'm like, the funnest girl ever."

"Damn straight," Santana chimed in, maneuvering around everyone to give Brittany her nametag. Or rather, put it on for her lest Brittany accidentally poke herself. It had been known to happen before. She then swiveled around to face Quinn and Rachel. "Q, Berry," Santana greeted with a head nod.

A small grin worked its way onto Quinn's face. Knowing Santana, the two would end up in some form of hug before the day was over, so she wasn't going to push it. Instead she walked over to Brittany and linked arms with her. "Hey, B, you want to come and check out which animals need baths the most with me?"

Rachel's eyes widened, but Quinn just flashed her one more smile before walking away with Brittany. "We'll be right back," she assured.

Left alone, Rachel and Santana stared mostly off to the side in an effort to avoid each other. Finally, Santana cleared her throat and took a step towards Rachel. "Look, that was Quinn's less than subtle way of leaving because…I don't want an audience…when I apologize," she clarified.

Rachel's gaze shot up to Santana as her jaw dropped into a soft _O_ shape of surprise.

"I never hated you, Berry," Santana grumbled. "Well, I did. But not like, _really_, you know?"

"No," Rachel mumbled sincerely because she honestly didn't understand. She had never hated anyone a day in her life. Wished certain ill upon them when they threatened the chance of her having a solo? Yes. But harbored hatred in her heart for someone? No. Never, actually.

Santana shrugged. "Look, the point is that I'm trying here, alright? Sorry for all the slushies and whatnot. So, just meet me halfway here, halfpint. We're like, the best singers in this school—"

"And we could have been singing together this whole time," Rachel said, a small smile working its way onto her face at the compliment.

"I'll sing with you one day," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "That help?"

"I'll put it all behind me," Rachel told her. Then her grin turned mischievous as she said, "If you sing _Rub a Dub Dub_ with me while we bathe the dogs."

Santana looked completely put out by the entire idea. "…That's possibly the lamest thing to ever come out of your mouth, Berry. And you've said some pretty lame shit."

Rachel folded her arms with finality, oddly enjoying this version of verbal push/pull between the two of them wherein no one got hurt. "I would like for us to sing it."

"Sing what?" Brittany chirped as she walked back into the room. True to Santana's word, the pair now had a dog, a cute, little golden retriever that was absolutely filthy and needed a good bath.

"_Rub a Dub Dub_," Rachel supplied.

"I like that song," Brittany said with a grin as Quinn followed into the room behind her, carrying a black terrier mix in her arms.

"It's a pretty lame song," Quinn quipped.

Santana tossed her hands up in exasperation. "That's what I've been _saying_."

"We're singing the song, everyone!" Rachel said with finality, or shrieked, rather.

* * *

><p>Rachel seemed to always get her way. Begrudgingly, two out of three of the former Cheerios who she had never even dreamed of being close to years ago joined her in a sing along. Brittany was a willing participant, rocking her head from side to side as she had bathed the dog she and Santana had affectionately named Scruffy.<p>

Quinn could hardly be bothered to let go of the terrier she had brought outside in the sun for them to wash. Rachel had managed to get some cuddle time in with the dog and could barely let Quinn pry it from her hands when it was time to go.

She had made it out of the situation alive, with a tentative friendship formed with Brittany and Santana. Rachel didn't think it too late to form friendships with them, and vowed to spend the summer going on various double dates.

But that could wait.

Right now was time for…other things.

And as she thought of other things Rachel felt her body buzzing as she and Quinn crossed the threshold into the hotel. Her gaze washed over the bright lights, bellboys scurrying to and fro with luggage. The dings of the elevator ascending floors pierced her ears as she followed close behind Quinn to the clerk's desk. It took everything she had not to grab Quinn's hand, mold herself against Quinn's side as she diligently dealt with the young man before them. She could already feel her chest began to rise and fall with more exaggeration as she took deep breaths, the sound of Quinn's domineering voice doing things to her.

"Fabray," Quinn said loud and clear, hoping to sound adult. Either way, she was probably going to have to whip out her I.D. because she barely looked eighteen anyway.

The hotel clerk nodded in recognition, scanning through the database on his computer. "Yes—Quinn. You scheduled for a room a little over a week ago."

Her lips ticked upwards in relief. "Yes, that's right. It's ready then?"

The man, Stan, as his nametag informed nodded once more, not looking at Quinn's intense eyes or Rachel's slightly fidgeting form as he began typing away at his computer.

From the corner of her eyes Quinn watched Rachel with a small smirk.

"Yes, it's ready," Stan announced after a moment. "A one bed room that you're—" His eyes shifted to Rachel briefly, "sharing."

"My friend and I," Quinn began without missing a beat, "would like somewhere to stay for the night to take a break from our road trip."

Rachel remained quiet with a stiff upper lip, not wanting to contribute to the ruse of hiding their relationship.

Stan didn't seem to think twice about it and handed Quinn her keycard, telling her, "Room 414," before Quinn gave Rachel a small, nervous smile and led the way.

It wasn't prom in the sense of getting dolled up and dancing the night away with people she didn't care about, but the nerves were still there. It felt like their relationship had suddenly jumped once more into a more adulthood stage with getaways to hotel rooms.

They both walked into the elevator in relative silence. Quinn hoisted her bag further along her shoulder and leaned back onto the wall at the far end, watching Rachel walk closer.

Rachel pressed a kiss to Quinn's shoulder then rested there with a small sigh. "Quinn…"

Quinn chuckled. "I know. Me, too."

* * *

><p>"We are never <em>ever<em> wearing jeans again," Quinn growled. She squirmed against the wall beside the door of their hotel room with impatience as her girlfriend stared at her, eyes sparkling with adoration.

Rachel smiled softly at the frustration lacing Quinn's voice. She reached out to grab Quinn's hands from her zipper, intertwining their fingers and slowly lifting them. Pupils blown, her black eyes twinkled in amusement at the shock on Quinn's face as Rachel brought their joined hands above their heads and placed them against the wall. She rose onto the tips of her bare toes and pressed a fleeting kiss to pouty lips. "Don't move."

A fine, dark blonde eyebrow arched daringly at the order. "Is that a plea or a command?"

"A command," Rachel answered simply with an impish grin. "Your hands are getting in the way."

"You've never said that before."

She laughed breathlessly as her hands traveled down Quinn's torso. Who knew the former president of the celibacy club could make dirty jokes? Her fingers unbuttoned the tight pair of jeans deftly and slid the zipper down to the very essence of Quinn, drawing an almost inaudible moan from her.

That was how things always started. Quinn was full of barely there moans and stifled whimpers until it got to the point where her voice would coat the entire room in her pleasure.

And it drove Rachel insane.

She gripped the faded blue jeans by the belt loops and roughly tugged on them. Quinn's hips jerked off the wall at the force and she moaned a little louder as Rachel bent lower to work them further down.

Quinn's head tipped forward until her chin was resting on her chest. The middle of her spine protested loudly against the position with tingles and it somehow only increased her arousal as her green eyes drank in the sight of Rachel's pretty dark head working in front of her.

"Up," Rachel commanded softly once the jeans were bunched around Quinn's ankles. A leg was lifted obediently and she smiled secretly to herself, knowing Quinn would get upset if she brought it up. "Other one."

Quinn lifted her other leg and kicked out of the pair of jeans, only now noticing that her underwear were gone as well, casted off to the side as if they were some offending garment.

Rachel purred softly as she ran her hands up the back of Quinn's calves. "So pretty, Quinn," she murmured. She looked up just in time to see the beginnings of a blush mar the face she loved so much and smiled. Her smile widened into a grin that dimpled her cheeks at the sight of Quinn's arms, crossed and resting on top of her head as a forgotten thought. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss just above Quinn's knee, moaning at the sight of pale thighs parting slightly. Her lips traced a reverent trail up Quinn's thigh. Her hands reached out, grasping possessively at Quinn's thighs and prying them apart because _she_ was the only person who got to please Quinn this way, and she couldn't have felt happier to be the one. She continued to place wet kisses along Quinn's inner thigh as the smell of her became stronger. She smelled needy and desperate and the thought that no one would ever stir up emotions in Quinn quite like this made Rachel's heart sing.

"Rachel," Quinn murmured.

Rachel sighed at the way Quinn said her name. "Yes, baby?"

Quinn gasped at the feel of plump lips sucking the juncture of where her thigh and hip merged to become one. "Keep going," she urged.

Rachel's head tipped back to stare between Quinn's legs as she sank onto her knees, resting on the heels of her feet. She parted Quinn's folds with her thumbs and swallowed thickly at the sight of warm sticky fluid leaking from pink flesh. Quinn was so swollen and ready that Rachel thought it cruel to keep her waiting for much longer. She leaned up, drawing the flat of her tongue through the length of her girlfriend's pussy.

Quinn hissed out a breath that sounded almost pained, lifting onto the tips of her toes as if trying to get away from the mouth that was going to cause her such pleasure that bordered on painful. Her fingers extended mindlessly and curled until they were twisting in her own hair as Rachel's tongue swirled over her clit.

She had created a monster.

The tip of Rachel's tongue laved at her clit relentlessly until it hardened to a pearl, peeking out of its hood in offering. Quinn's entire body had quickly become one big acquiescence and she didn't bother to hide it, knowing that nothing got her girlfriend off more than knowing that she was wanted.

"Yes," Quinn whispered, groaning as Rachel tilted her head just so, lapping at her like a starved animal. Over the course of several months Rachel had perfected some kind of technique that Quinn couldn't quite place, her tongue had become more agile, knowing exactly where to hit that would— "_Rachel_," she whimpered.

Rachel hummed against her in approval, rubbing her hands up and down Quinn's thighs as she shifted on the floor, the seam of her jeans rubbing against her until she sighed. She brought her hands up to the tops of Quinn's thighs, massaging with her thumbs as she pulled back to murmur, "Spread just a little more, baby."

Long legs parted, and Rachel wedged a hand between the warmth of Quinn's legs, teasing her entrance with a wiggling finger. A quiet, breathy whine emitted from above her caused Rachel's lips to curve into an affectionate smile as she entered her girlfriend with two fingers, unable to tease them both any further.

Quinn arched off the wall with a sharp cry, unwinding one of her hands from in her own hair and burying it into thick, dark locks, thrusting her hips rhythmically to meet Rachel's eager mouth. Rachel sucked sharply on her clit, curling her fingers within Quinn and rubbing her softly.

Dark green eyes fluttered open to stare down at Rachel's head bobbing in earnest between her legs. Her legs spread all the more as an abundance of heat washed over her, spurred by the way Rachel couldn't seem to sit still, squirming on her knees before Quinn.

Quinn licked her lips, feeling decidedly Skank-like—ditching prom with her girlfriend to get head from Rachel in a hotel room while she was on her knees. She had spent all summer missing Rachel, spent months thinking about having sex with Rachel, and was feeling absolutely scandalous as she clenched around Rachel's fingers pumping in and out of her.

"Touch yourself," Quinn whispered softly, almost wishing Rachel wouldn't hear her.

Rachel's groan into her dripping pussy alerted Quinn to the fact that she had indeed been heard and her message was well received.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered, her unoccupied hand already twitching as she looked up with flushed cheeks.

"Do it," Quinn urged, feeling increasingly turned on by the idea. Her hips refused to stay still, canting forward to brush herself against a juicy lower lip. Rachel's jaw dropped, instinctively seeking Quinn out. Then she was back between Quinn's legs, tonguing her clit while thrusting into her with two fingers and they were back in business.

Only this time Rachel was sliding a hand up her own thigh, wiggling it underneath her jeans with ease and Quinn almost giggled at how skinny she really was. Then a moan, Rachel's moan, low and full vibrated from between her legs.

Quinn slid her hand from Rachel's hair to the back of her neck, cupping the back of her head in a display of affection. "Feel good, baby?" she asked, whimpering as she felt the first wave of her orgasm wash through her from watching the tendons in Rachel's arm flex as she pleasured herself.

"Mhm," Rachel purred, rubbing up and down her swollen slit in an attempt to calm her raging arousal, at least until Quinn could take care of her.

At the sound of Rachel's admitted pleasure Quinn went rigid. Her orgasm enveloped her quickly and Quinn jerked in surprise, being sustained by cruel flicks of Rachel's tongue onto her sensitized clit. She tugged both at her own hair and at Rachel's as her hips became unlocked, riding Rachel's face hard. Rachel lurched forward with a squeak lodged in her throat as small tremors fluttered low in her belly.

With shaky legs Quinn lowered to the floor, and Rachel wrapped her arms around her, sticky fingers and all. Quinn sagged against her, relaxing as a series of kisses were placed along her throat.

"Did you come?" Quinn rasped after a moment.

Rachel nodded, blushing as she buried her face into Quinn's neck. "Just a little."

Quinn turned to nuzzle Rachel's cheek with a quiet smile.

Rachel pulled back a moment later and, with blown pupils, she seemed to stare right through Quinn with arousal apparent in her cloudy eyes and blushing cheeks. "Quinn, I need—"

Quinn leaned forward to kiss her fiercely, burying a hand into Rachel's hair. She reached down to grab Rachel's jeans which were already sliding off her hips to help them down, when her phone rang.

"Damn it," Rachel sighed hotly in lament against Quinn's lips at the blaring sound. Reluctantly, she pulled away. "Who is it?"

Quinn reached beside her to grab her crumpled jeans on the floor. She reached into her pocket and fished out her phone, sighing at the name that flashed across the screen. "My mother."

Rachel stood with a pout and walked towards the bed with tension in every step she took. "Answer it. It could be important."

"I'll be quick, I promise," Quinn told her, knowing how hard up Rachel had to be by now. She slid her phone unlock, rising from the floor as she answered it. "Hello?"

"Quinn, honey, hi!" Judy's voice came through. Quinn sighed in relief that her mother at least didn't seem to be in any kind of distress.

"Hi, mom," she gritted out. Her eyes slid over to the bed and nearly bulged out of her sockets at the sight of Rachel pulling her t-shirt over her head, taut, tan skin and lacy bra coming into view. "Is there a reason you called?" Quinn rushed out.

Rachel turned around at the urgency in Quinn's voice. Her heavy lidded gaze took in the way Quinn was leering at her, a smirk teasing her swollen red lips upwards. She dragged her hands down to her jeans that were already halfway off her hips and flicked the button.

"_Stop_," Quinn mouthed to her as Judy shuffled around on the other line. Rachel's grin widened.

"I was trying to wait for you to get home, sweetie, really I was," Judy babbled in some form of preface. "But I had to open it. And you and Rachel had left before the mail even got here, and—"

"Mom, wait a second," Quinn cut in, voice suddenly growing much more serious.

Rachel stopped moving, pants already around her ankles, and Quinn's eyes stopped admiring her for a moment as she listened to her mother more intently. "What came in the mail?"

"Yale did, Quinn," Judy responded in a shaky voice.

"Tell me," Quinn responded immediately. "Did I get in or not? Tell me, mom." Her voice rose with every statement, and Rachel cautiously walked closer in nothing but a bra and panties when realization dawned on her. She stood directly in front of Quinn with wide, hopeful eyes, ready to celebrate with Quinn if she got in or console her if she didn't.

"You got in!" Judy exclaimed with an uncharacteristic, unladylike squeal to her voice. Quinn's jaw came completely unhinged, landing heavily on the floor as she stared through Rachel.

"Did you get in?" Rachel asked excitedly. "Did you. Tell me, Quinn!" Rachel demanded in her own excitement.

"I got in," Quinn whispered, disbelief making her voice whisper-soft. Her gaze sharpened to focus on mirroring shock on Rachel's face. "Rachel, I got in!"

"I knew you would!" Rachel screamed, jumping in Quinn's arms without a second thought. Quinn staggered forward as Rachel's legs wound around her waist and slender arms wrapped around her neck. "I'm so happy for you!" Rachel yelled in Quinn's ear around the same time Judy exclaimed the same sentiment just as loudly.

She was sure her eardrums were going to blow, but couldn't be bothered to care. A caring mother and Rachel Berry as her girlfriend were what Quinn had been missing all summer long. To have not one, but _both_ of those things in her life simultaneously at this moment was such an overwhelming feeling.

"Mom, mom!" Quinn cut in over Judy's rambling. Judy went silent and Quinn sighed shakily, clutching Rachel closer. "I—thank you."

It encompassed everything, far more than the simple courtesy phone call Judy had extended her and Judy must have known it if the reverent tone her voice took on as she exhaled, "My pleasure, Quinn," was any indication.

Silently, they both ended the call, and a small, happy grin worked its way onto Quinn's face as she dropped her phone back onto her jeans, hoisting Rachel up more surely around her and walking them both to the bed.

Rachel landed onto the bed with a small thud, eyes sparkling as she smiled up at Quinn. "I am so very proud of you, Quinn Fabray," she said quietly.

Quinn stared down at her with a muted expression of happiness on her face. She didn't move for a long moment and the smile on Rachel's face grew at the sight of Quinn not really knowing how to deal with true happiness. She looked a little disgruntled, but ultimately satisfied.

Slowly, Quinn descended upon Rachel, feeling foolish for turning what was supposed to be an intimate night between them into her own soap-drama of actions conflicting with emotions.

"Come here, Quinn," Rachel murmured with open arms, wrapping them lovingly around Quinn once she swayed closer.

Quinn buried her face into the bed sheets below them, not wanting Rachel to see her like this.

Rachel ran her fingers through freshly dyed blonde hair, nuzzling her ear. "Are you happy?"

Quinn nodded, and Rachel smiled.

"Then so am I. Happy prom night, Quinn." She kissed her hair. "I love you."

"Love you," Quinn mumbled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.


	35. Chapter 35

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

* * *

><p>A loud commanding knock on the door pierced her eardrums and instinctively Quinn rolled her shoulders back. She smoothed down the back of her dress as she stood, poised by the table for a moment longer to collect herself before walking toward the door. The latch gave way and she twisted the door knob to find Russell Fabray on the other side of the door.<p>

They wore twin expressions of looking put out as Quinn stepped aside, vaguely gesturing for him to enter.

"A gentleman always closes the door, Quinn," Russell greeted, turning the gesture around and awaiting Quinn to continue on inside with him following.

Quinn stood there for a long moment with her arms folded across her chest.

Russell looked around her, inside the house. "Where's your mother? Normally she'd have been out here breaking us apart by now."

"She's out," Quinn told him. "Which is why I called you here—I need to talk to you about something."

His lips ticked upward just a fraction. "Then we had better get inside."

Quinn stood defiantly in place, narrowing her eyes at her father. But in true Russell fashion, he stood still as a statue, unmoving and unaffected. He could out wait her and they both knew it. He had had lots of practice from dealing with her as a child.

In a show of her last ditch effort at rebellion, Quinn rolled her eyes, stalking away and toward the kitchen. Russell entered after her and closed the door. His eyes took liberty in ghosting on the surfaces of everything in the house he passed by as he reached the kitchen.

Quinn was already sitting on one side of the table, staring up at him with impatience as he reacquainted himself with the house he had chosen to leave the moment he stepped out of their family for another woman.

Finally Russell turned to her, his expression unreadable with pursed lips and furrowed bushy eyebrows. He pulled a chair out and sat in it without a word, staring at Quinn.

Quinn slid the envelope on the table beside her over to Russell. It was addressed to her from New Haven, Connecticut and Russell smiled without even opening the letter. "I knew you'd get in."

Startled, Quinn leaned back in her seat, eyes widening as her mind began to piece a worst case scenario together immediately. "If you had _anything_ to do with my acceptance—"

She stopped short as an enigmatic smile crossed Russell's face as he shook his head. "I had nothing to do with it. Either you were going to get in or you weren't, Quinn. I wanted no say in that."

"Why?" she bit out.

He shrugged. "It wouldn't have been fair—not letting you get in on your own merit."

"And you know all about fair, is that it?" Quinn spat, past ire bubbling in her unbidden.

Anger flashed through Russell's eyes before he scooted back from the table and stood. "If this was all you wanted to discuss—"

"No, I—" Once strong and bold, Quinn's voice had suddenly turned frail as she looked up toward her father, gesturing to his seat. "Sit—please. This is—I have to talk to you about something."

It seemed that the advantage she had wanted quickly slipped from her grasp before she was even able to fully have it and she leaned back against her seat, quietly brooding as Russell eased back into his.

"Is this yet another opportunity to treat me like your personal punching bag, Quinn?" Russell asked authoritatively, jabbing a finger in his chest for emphasis. Quinn continued to glare down at the table, looking every bit like the wayward teen she was months ago instead of the young adult graduating from high school in mere days that she was. Russell sighed, running his hand through his hair. He looked years older than he had when he had been living at home, and a part of Quinn took satisfaction at the fact that life had caught up with him and then some. "Look, I get that a large part of you is still angry."

She scoffed, shaking her head at the little spiel she could feel coming on.

"You have every right to be," he continued.

Surprised, Quinn looked up to find Russell staring directly at her. For the first time in years she saw her father, the man who would strike deals with her that included ice cream if she was good when she was younger, the man who had no trouble appeasing her occasionally as long as she followed his rules. He looked like _that_ man right now and her arms slowly unfolded, falling at her sides and brushing against the wooden chair she was sitting on.

"There's a part of you that will always be angry with me, and I'm not going to sit here and pretend different. You did get your love for holding grudges from yours truly, after all." He flashed a rare, genuine smile at his daughter, and Quinn looked away as her lower lip quivered. "I won't try to change your feelings for me. All I ask is that we try to act cordial toward each other. You called me here, Quinn. And if you called me here just to yell, then at least admit that."

"I didn't—" Her breath stuttered in a tell-tale sign of impending tears as she shook her head. "That's not why I called you over, no," she continued, inhaling deeply to keep the embarrassing chest convulsions of hyperventilation from happening.

Russell placed his hands palm down on the table, leaning forward. "Then why did you call me here?"

She took a moment to fully collect herself, then looked up toward Russell across from her. "I called you here because I've been thinking about which college to choose from: Yale, NYU…or OSU."

"Is the last really an option?" Russell snorted, clearly amused. At the grave expression on Quinn's face, he sobered, eying her critically. "You aren't seriously thinking this over," he asked, demanded.

She wasn't, not with Rachel already excited that between NYU and Yale, either way she was going to be near Quinn and would see her more often than not. There was no way Quinn was actually considering staying in Ohio when she had already promised herself that she was getting out. But she took sardonic pleasure in the way her silence was making Russell break a sweat.

"Well, I was just thinking that if I commuted from home to OSU that I could keep my job at McDonald's and help mom pay the bills. This is a big house, after all. She can't keep the bills up by herself," Quinn stated matter-of-factly.

The expression on Russell's face darkened as he began to catch on. With a sniff, he folded back the sleeves of his shirt, chin jutting out defiantly as he leaned back in his seat. "What do you want, Quinn?"

"I want you to help her pay her bills," Quinn declared flatly, giving up the charade as well. "We could barely afford to pay the bills with me working part-time. There's no way she'd be able to keep this house when I leave, and I want you to chip in."

Heavy silence weighed down on them, and Quinn watched as every wrinkle in Russell's face became more pronounced, making him look even older as his thick fingers steepled together on the table. "You know she hates me," he prefaced, and Quinn immediately shook her head.

"No, she doesn't. And you know she doesn't, so don't even try that lame excuse."

He stopped talking, running a hand through the ever whitening hair on his head.

"You hate you," Quinn continued quietly. "Mom doesn't. Frannie doesn't. And…I don't. I'm just—I'm so disappointed in you, dad."

Head bowed, Russell could do little more than nod as Quinn stared him head on.

"I'll go to Yale. You're paying for it, after all," she grumbled, and Russell cracked a small, if a little smug, smile. "I just need you to help out around here when I leave."

After a moment he finally seemed to have the courage to look up across the table at her. "You always were quite the negotiator," he mumbled around a proud smile.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I get it from you apparently."

The closest they get to a hug was a shared smile in proximity of each other before Russell left. Somehow those smiles, sharing mutual warmth that hadn't been there for years, were much more meaningful, though.

* * *

><p>"Quinn, I'm so excited!" Rachel exclaimed as she turned to look at Quinn in the driver's seat. Rachel had been a bundle of energy since last night when their name was called, <em>finally<em>, as the victors of Nationals. Quinn was pretty sure Rachel's face was going to break if she kept smiling so hard. "Do you think Beth will like my gift?" She reached into the bag in her lap with two hands and pulled out a Barbie doll and G.I. Joe action figure. "These are age appropriate, right?"

Quinn casted a sideways glance in her direction. "I think that's the least of our worries."

Rachel looked over both of the toys, then scowled in Quinn's direction. "It's important not to force her into stereotypical gender roles. Let her choose her own path."

"It's important not to have her cognitively knowing what crossdressing is at two."

Rachel scoffed out a laugh, narrowing her eyes in mock outrage as she glared at Quinn. "Just because I _occasionally_ liked to dress up my G.I. Joe action figure doesn't mean she will. Besides, I had to do something to counterbalance you buying her a play kitchen!"

Quinn chuckled quietly, and they fell into companionable silence as the same thought settled into their minds: they were acting as if Beth was their child. With a fond smile, Rachel settled back into her seat, looking out of the window.

"I bought her an easel, too," Quinn defended, thumb lifting off the steering wheel as she shrugged a shoulder.

The smile on Rachel's split into a grin. "You spent over two hundred dollars on her, Quinn," she said warmly.

"Don't remind me," Quinn grumbled. She flicked her signal light on, swiping her tongue over her lip in nervousness as she checked her mirrors and turned onto Shelby's street. "You don't think it's too much, do you?"

"No," Rachel replied instantly. She shook away her thoughts of living in a neighborhood like this with Quinn some day and turned to her. "She'll love it all, Quinn, don't worry."

"I just—kids like finger painting, right? And role-playing? Like, being adults and things like that?"

Rachel's eyes softened as she watched panic lace Quinn's body almost imperceptibly with tension. She had almost forgotten that it had been months since Quinn had seen Beth, and it seemed that it was like the first time all over again. When Quinn put the car in park and shut the engine off, Rachel lightly placed her hand atop the one white knuckle gripping the gear handle. "Hey," she said softly. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Quinn dragged her eyes up to meet Rachel's.

"You're amazing."

"Stop," Quinn instantly protested, and Rachel giggled.

"No, you stop. You know I'm right. And I know you're freaking out because you haven't seen her in a while, but guess what?"

Quinn shrugged a shoulder, trying to look put out, though she was keenly listening to every word.

"That little girl in there?" Rachel prompted with a point to Shelby's house. "That's still the same little girl who you spent an entire _day_ with. That's still the little girl who wouldn't let anyone but you hold her for the longest time when you brought her to my house."

A small smile pulled at Quinn's lips at the memory of Beth shying away from everyone and curling into a little ball against her chest when she had taken her over Rachel's house months ago.

"That's the same oddly serious, yet utterly goofy little girl who spent five minutes telling you that she poops," Rachel said with a laugh and an incredulous eye roll at the fact that she had just said the word 'poop.' "And, baby, that's the same girl who tells you she loves you every time you talk to her. So, stop being nervous," she said, jostling Quinn's shoulder. "This is Beth, the girl you're going to have a connection to your whole life. You should not be nervous about seeing her."

"It's just been a while, that's all," Quinn said after a moment.

"I know, Quinn. But the sooner we get out of this car, the sooner you get to see her." Flashing another smile, Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed the bag in her lap and opened the door to slide out of the car. Quinn followed behind slowly, looking across the hood of the car towards her.

"You aren't nervous about seeing Shelby?" Quinn couldn't help but ask, thrown by Rachel's sudden eagerness.

Rachel shook her head, soft curls brushing her face as she walked around the car toward the trunk, meeting Quinn. "She and I—we're at a…relatively good place," Rachel told her. "We can be cordial," she elaborated at Quinn's eyebrow raise.

"As long as you're sure…" she replied dubiously. They both turned to the contents inside the trunk, and Quinn bit her lip. "Which would you like to take?"

Rachel reached for the easel. "I'll take the one that won't set Beth back into the 50s!"

"It's a decent gift!" Quinn yelled back as Rachel began walking toward the house. She shook her head good-naturedly, reaching into the trunk and grabbing the play kitchen and its bag of accessories.

They jostled around in her grip as she closed the hood of the trunk and hiked up the walk to Shelby's house.

She stood beside Rachel on the doorstep as Rachel leaned over to ring the doorbell.

"Thank you," Quinn said quietly.

Rachel grinned. "For ringing the doorbell?"

"You know what I mean."

She looked up at Quinn with a small, happy smile and shuffled closer to lean against her. "Thank _you_ for inviting me."

"Well, technically _Shelby_ invited you, but—"

"You know what I mean."

"Don't mock me," Quinn grumbled, a half smile pulling the corner of her mouth upward.

"Not mocking," Rachel defended in a voice pitched high with outrage. "I'm simply echoing wise words that were spoken—"

"By yours truly mere seconds ago."

Rachel hipped checked her.

"Watch it," Quinn threatened as the door opened.

Shelby stepped toward the glass door separating them, unlocking it with shining eyes. "What's all of this smiling on my doorstep?"

Quinn took a deep breath, choosing to leave whatever grudges she held toward Shelby at the door. This day was about Beth. "I heard someone has a birthday here today," she said, to which Rachel immediately nodded.

"Smiles are a requirement for birthdays," Rachel said factually, smiling widely for good measure.

Shelby took one look at her and chuckled, opening the door and allowing them both inside. Quinn immediately walked in to find Puck stretched out on the floor with a little girl with a silly birthday cone hat on her head. Quinn was caught between a grimace and an affectionate smile at how lame this set up was. She sat her things on the floor without much thought and walked right over to Puck as he stood from the floor.

He looked her over with a proud smile. "You came," was all he said.

Quinn gave a small shrug. "Looks like it."

From behind her, Rachel emerged, and Puck scratched at the back of his head as Quinn ducked down towards Beth. After a moment he extended his hand. "Jew-baby."

Rachel shook her head in exasperation. "Don't call me that, Noah." She stepped forward to wrap her arms around him in a quick hug, ensuring that the hatchet was officially buried and that everyone could focus on the birthday girl at hand.

"Quinn!"

The girlish squeal was like music to her ears as Quinn scooped Beth up effortlessly into her arms. "Hi," Quinn murmured. "Happy birthday, pretty girl."

"Happy bir-day," Beth echoed kindly with a head nod.

Quinn laughed, feeling pressure immediately build behind her eyes as she held Beth's slight weight in her arms, smelled her for the first time in months. She still smelled like fresh baby powder as Quinn had remembered. "No, it's your birthday," she gently corrected.

Beth shook her head with a grin for the sake of contradiction, and it reminded Quinn so much of herself that she couldn't help but grin the same exact smile right back. A tiny hand came up, short thick fingers twisting in Quinn's hair that was just beginning to tickle her collarbone again. Beth twisted the lock of hair around her fingers with a contemplative frown, lips pursed to make her look more goofy than serious.

"It's grown, right?" Quinn prompted, voicing their joint thoughts. "I'm still me, though, promise."

Beth dropped the lock of hair to poke Quinn in the chest absentmindedly as she looked back up at her. Then she grinned again and threw herself at Quinn, wrapping stubby arms around Quinn's neck. Quinn inhaled deeply at the feel of this squishy ball of a person pressing into her with the warmest hug she had ever felt. She knew everyone was watching them interact, but she couldn't be bothered to look at them, her gaze casted unseeingly out of the living room window as she tried to ingrain this memory into her brain forever.

"Gosh, they're so cute," Rachel breathed.

"Achoo?" Beth tensed, pulling back and placing her hands against Quinn's chest, brow furrowing in some form of betrayal that had Quinn biting her lip to keep from laughing at as Beth quickly swiveled around to find Rachel standing several feet away behind her. Recognition flickered in her dark eyes and soon enough she was squirming, leaning as far away from Quinn as possible to get closer to Rachel.

Quinn pulled her back enough to place a parting kiss against curly hair before setting Beth on her own two feet. She wobbled for a moment, and stood against Quinn's legs to gather her bearings. Then she was mobile, walking toward Rachel with more coordination than Quinn had ever seen in her.

Rachel smiled softly as Beth came to a stop directly in front of her, looking up and raising her hands in obvious invitation. Rachel leaned down to pick her up, settling Beth in her arms as she took a seat on the couch. "Hey, Beth," she cooed in this tiny voice that made Beth smile. "It's good to see you again."

Beth stared at her for a long moment as if reacquainting herself with Rachel. Then Beth settled against her, placing an ear against Rachel's chest as she stared at Quinn across the room.

Quinn watched the pair with a small smile until Puck stepped into her field of vision. "You totally gotta see what I got her," he declared proudly.

Before she knew anything, she was being rushed up the stairs, leaving Rachel and Beth behind. They walked down the hallway to an unoccupied room and Puck turned around, looking giddy as he put a finger over his mouth to shush her.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'm not even talking," she deadpanned.

Puck opened the door and they both stepped inside. He pointed to an oddly shaped object in the middle of the room. "Awesome, right?"

It was nothing but a wooden object with wheels on it. Quinn tilted her head, hoping that from a different angle it would look like _something_. Finally, she gave up. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a Like a Bike, duh," Puck told her, looking affronted at the less than impressed look on her face.

"Okay," Quinn drawled. "What do you _do_ with it?"

"You ride it."

"…Like a bike?"

"Exactly."

She sighed. "Honestly, between you and Rachel, Beth is going to grow up a boy."

Puck stared down at his gift for Beth proudly. "Had to save up money from my pool cleaning business to buy this thing; it was a fortune." He looked over at Quinn with a grin on his face. "My last big gift for her before I leave, you know?"

Though she saw the gift as possibly the dumbest thing in existence, Quinn couldn't help but crack a smile at his explanation, eyes softening as she regarded the boy who seemed to had grown so much since their brief mistake sophomore year. "So, you're going to college, then?" she asked.

He shook his head. "College ain't for everybody, baby mama. But I _am_ graduating. So, you know, I'm awesome," he finished with a shrug.

She sucked her teeth in exasperation. "Then where are you going?"

Another shrug. "I don't really know. But I'm getting out of here once everyone else leaves."

She absorbed his statement and it occurred to Quinn right then and there for the very first time that there was a distinct possibility that she may never see him again. Unless he decided to come back around holidays to visit Beth, but Puck had always been his own person, a bit of a lone wolf, and the possibility of him leaving and never returning was very real.

She folded her arms across her chest, feeling nostalgia tickle the back of her mind as she watched him tinker with the toy he bought for Beth. "Yeah, well, wherever you go, you better not lose my number," she told him.

Puck looked up at her, wiping his hands on his jeans as he stood up. He took in her rigid posture with a small smile, opening his arms and walking toward her. "I'll miss you, too, baby mama." Her arms gradually unfolded to wrap around his waist. "We've had our fair share of fights, but we made something special together, right?"

She nodded against his chest. The scent of his cologne brought tears to her eyes as it always did for some reason she would never know. "I love you sometimes," she mumbled.

Puck's frame shook around her with a quiet laugh. "Yeah, well, I love you all the time. Deal with it."

"Dealing now," Quinn remarked dryly with a sniffle.

From downstairs Rachel found herself surprisingly faring better in the tear department after Shelby had given up pretenses and hesitantly sat down beside her on the couch. "How have you been?" Shelby asked, eyes darting from Beth to the impassivity of Rachel's eyes. "I've been asking Quinn, but she doesn't give much away."

"I've been well," Rachel chirped, cooing at Beth when she latched onto a lock of her hair.

"And your fathers?" Shelby continued as she scooted closer.

At this, Rachel smiled. "When they're not doubling over in dramatics over the fact that I will be leaving at the end of June, they are well."

Shelby's eyes widened. "Leaving? You're going to New York so soon?"

Rachel didn't want to imagine things, but there seemed to be a hint of, dare she think it, sadness in Shelby's voice. Though it didn't give her the satisfaction it would have months ago, and she just nodded, placing a kiss to Beth's cheek. "There is a mandatory summer program at NYADA that I have to attend, yes." She smiled, glancing at Shelby. "They like to prepare their future stars early."

Shelby nodded. "Well, that makes sense," she said with a small smile. Silence lingered between them, and Rachel turned back to Beth who was struggling in her lap to get down.

"Quinn?" Beth prompted, seeming to just now notice that Quinn wasn't in the room. She waddled past the couch and peeked her head around the corner. "Quinn?"

"I'm coming," Quinn called from the top of the stairs.

"At any rate," Shelby began, calling Rachel's attention back to her. "I just want you to know that I'm very proud of you, Rachel, and that I know you're going to do great things."

Her head dipped bashfully at the compliment as a shy smile pulled her lips upward. "I—thank you. I suppose there will always be a part of me that wants to do you justice," she admitted.

"You will," Shelby said immediately. "I'm sure you'll soar above and beyond what I've accomplished in my career."

In a way, Rachel kind of wished she had had this mother around when she was younger. But just because Shelby wasn't around then didn't mean Rachel couldn't capitalize on her presence now. She sank back more comfortably in the couch, noting Quinn picking a fussy Beth up in her arms as she and Puck returned to the living room. "You really think so?" Rachel said, loving the feeling of being bathed in compliments, especially from someone who she looked up to.

"You're a wonderful talent," Shelby told her quietly. "And I can't wait to hear about your accomplishments one day."

"Okay, I hate to cut this moment short," Puck said from beside Quinn. "But I'd like for us to start giving gifts."

"Me first!" Rachel demanded as she hopped from the couch. She grabbed her bag from the table and pulled out the two boxed gifts, placing them behind her back as she approached Beth and Quinn. "I have birthday presents for the birthday girl."

"Happy bir-day," Beth said.

"Apparently it's everyone's birthday but hers," Quinn muttered dryly as Rachel took the gifts from behind her back. She held both of them in front of Beth.

Quinn watched critically as Beth deliberated between the two toys. Silence fell over the room. Quinn leaned closer, pressing a kiss to the side of Beth's head. "Barbie has more accessories," she whispered.

Rachel scowled. "Don't persuade her, Quinn. She's more than capable of picking her own toy."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Hey, if she doesn't choose that G.I. Joe one, can I have it?" Puck asked.

A tiny hand reached out, and they all fell quiet again. Beth looked at Barbie, G.I. Joe, Barbie again…then reached out and grabbed G.I. Joe.

"Oh, come on," Puck lamented. "I wanted that one."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Quinn muttered to herself. "I can't believe she chose that doll."

"He's an action figure, Quinn," Rachel corrected.

"_You_." Quinn pointed to Rachel as Beth squirmed to get down and play with her new toy. "You don't get to talk anymore for the rest of the party."

Rachel's bottom lip jutted out instantly.

Beth waddled past the arguing pair toward Shelby, handing her the toy. "Open?"

Shelby nodded. "That's right, 'open'. And of course I'll open it for you."

"Aww," Rachel cooed as she stepped toward Quinn, easily wrapping her arms around her waist despite Quinn's halfhearted protest. "You can still give her the kitchen."

"And the easel," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel rested her head against Quinn's collarbone. "And the two of you can do all the finger painting in the world."

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders, peering over her head to where Puck was settling down on the floor with Beth. Shelby rested back on the couch behind them, eyes darting between the two.

"G.I. Joe," Puck explained.

"Jai-Joe!" Beth yelled.

Quinn groaned in exasperation as Rachel giggled. Rachel pulled away, spinning around in Quinn's arms and leaning back against her to better watch the scene before them. She sighed when lean arms wrapped securely around her waist and Quinn rested her chin on her shoulder.

Quinn's eyes remained locked intently on the smile on Beth's face while Rachel's eyes drifted to Shelby as the both of them came to grips with the fact that they were leaving these two people behind.

But would always have each other.


	36. Chapter 36

**Title: **Ensnared by Despair (Let Love Set You Free)

**Pairing: **Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Just having a little fun.

**Summary: **AU. Quinn broke up with Rachel during Nationals their junior year and Rachel hadn't the slightest clue why. When Quinn falls off the radar all summer and returns to school with a new look and attitude, Rachel has a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

**A/N:** Every time I finish a story it's a bittersweet feeling. Sweet because it's over, _finally._ But bitter, because I feel a personal connection to all of these characters, especially with this story. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's ever taken the time to review this story. It's been interesting to read your feedback and it's nice to hear your internet voice.

To **ReaperLuca**:Thank you! You're too kind. I've actually enjoyed writing this story more than WDMO. Maybe because this one actually has a plot—I'm not too sure, because while I certainly love WDMO, this story has a special place in my heart and I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Oh, and Hindsight should be updating soon now that I've managed to finish one of my WIPs. :)

* * *

><p><em>Epilogue<em>

Leroy grunted as he and Hiram switched directions, a giant box in their hands, as Hiram backed into the narrow doorway, Leroy following. "Geez, Quinn, you couldn't have packed lightly?" Leroy complained, sweat beading his brow much to his chagrin.

Quinn winced as the two set the box on the ground, doubling over to rest atop it. "Sorry, guys. I have some water if you want it."

Hiram nodded hurriedly. "Yes, water—_please_."

Quinn looked around to the mountain of boxes resting in her dorm room. It was late August, eighty degree weather in New Haven, Connecticut, and Rachel and her parents had been kind enough to travel to Yale to help her move in, Rachel from NYADA and Leroy and Hiram from Lima. "Umm…I don't know where anything is," she admitted. Maybe labeling the boxes like Rachel had suggested would have been a good idea.

"Oh, come on," Hiram wheezed.

Rachel breezed into the room past everyone in a flowery dress that flowed behind her. "There's a water fountain down the hallway," she announced, placing the potted plant in her hand she had bought as a housewarming gift on a desk closest to the window. She spun around to find Leroy and Hiram racing out of the room, leaving Quinn in the center surrounded by boxes. The light from the window hit Quinn's shiny hair, creating a halo on her head, her angelic appearance amplified by the simple white dress she wore. Rachel was going to miss those little dresses, that bottle blonde hair. Her bottom lip jutted out, and Quinn's eyes widened.

"No, oh, no—we are _not_ doing this right now."

"But, Quinn," Rachel whined.

"No." Quinn lifted an eyebrow. "I don't want to see tears right now."

"But—"

"No buts."

Rachel frowned and skulked over to Quinn, scuffing her flats on the floor.

"Phew!"

Quinn spun around, thankful for the distraction, to find Judy leaning heavily against the door, two bags on both of her shoulders. Quinn hurried to her, grabbing the bags with a frown. "Why didn't you give those to dad?" she asked.

Judy waved her off, wheezing. "I made your father grab the TV. So, I decided to take those."

Rachel stepped forward to place a supportive hand on Judy's shoulder, a true testament to how close the two most important women in Quinn's life had become. Rachel had never had a mother and was reluctant to call Shelby one. But the relationship she had fostered in the recent months with the former Mrs. Fabray provided her with enough one-on-one girl time with an older woman figure, complete with baking and gabbing about Quinn, two of her favorite things aside from Broadway. "I can walk you down to the water fountain if you'd like."

Judy looked towards her with a grateful smile. "That'd be great, dear," she panted, following Rachel out of the room.

Quinn hoisted the bag higher along her shoulder, walking them further into the room and away from the door.

"We're totally younger than Quinn's dad," Hiram told Leroy as he backed into the room with yet another box.

"Well, you know I'm a former dancer," Leroy commented offhandedly, though he had the same smug look on his face that Rachel often had when she was trying to pass as humble. "Those muscles and agility never leave."

"Tell that to our bedroom, honey."

"We sing I'm the top for a reason, _honey._"

Quinn bit her lip to stifle a grin as Leroy and Hiram bickered, slightly grossed out by the conversation. It was like listening to her father and…well, father talk about their sex life.

"I'm the pitcher," Hiram announced.

"You mean catcher? If so then, yes."

"Uh, guys?" Quinn cut in, wanting to be somewhere, _anywhere_ other than here listening to this conversation. "Where exactly is my dad?"

"He was just making it to the second floor when we passed him," Hiram told her.

Quinn walked towards the door, hesitating by the doorway. "Try not to kill each other before I get back," she told them with a playful grin.

She hopped down the stairs to find her father at the top of the second flight, hunched over the flat screen TV Judy had told him to haul up. She approached him slowly. "Need help?"

He straightened immediately, casting a glance at her. "Was just reacquainting myself with the scenery." He flashed a roguish grin that looked a lot like Quinn's. "Your old man spent a lot of time in these dorms."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Hard. "Yeah, well, reminisce on your own time, will you? I think we'd all like to get the last of my things moved in in a timely fashion."

"Everything's moved in," Russell announced. He patted the TV beside them. "Just waiting on this."

Quinn stepped down from the final step, the hem of her dress smacking against the backs of her calves. "Let me help. We'll get it up there faster."

He looked as if he wanted to protest, but after a moment he sighed tiredly and gestured for her to come closer. "It's heavy," he told her.

She took to her side and slid both hands under it with a grunt as it lifted off the floor. "No kidding," she wheezed

Carefully, the two of them began their ascent up the last flight of steps. Quinn looked around them for something to talk about, not wanting this entire ordeal to be done in the silence around them except for the occasional whistle of breath in the oppressing heat. When she found nothing to talk about, she turned back to him. "So, you spent a lot of time in here?" she prompted.

The smirk was back on his face, and she almost laughed. "You father liked them smart back in the day."

Quinn frowned. "What are you trying to imply about mom?"

"You didn't let me finish." He grasped the TV more surely and stopped, Quinn nearly stumbling on the step behind her as he looked up towards her. "I liked them smart…and completely shallow. Your mother—" a memory seemed to grip him as his eyes lost focus. "She was the only one to actually be with me with a want completely separate from the money she knew I would end up making. You know?"

Surprisingly, she understood him, could _relate_ to him. Quinn had spent her high school career dating guys and having them date her because it was mutually beneficial for popularity. She largely considered Rachel to be the only one who didn't give a damn about her popularity, who would have probably preferred if Quinn hadn't ever been popular at all.

"She loved me," Russell said faintly. "And I loved her." His gaze lowered to the TV as he hoisted it back up again. "But love is such an impractical emotion."

"But it's needed," Quinn argued, lifting the other end of the TV and taking a cautious step back to the rising step.

Russell leveled her with a contemplative look, his gaze heavy and seeming to weigh down Quinn's steps as she walked backwards. "I suppose it's a moot point considering love is something that can't be helped."

Quinn looked away, feeling her chest ache and expand for some reason as long buried memories of sitting in the backseat as a child while her father drove them to the store assaulted her mind.

They continued in silence until they reached the top of the stairs, twisting to get into the doorway.

Rachel stood just inside the room with Judy, watching in awe as Quinn and Russell cooperated with each other.

"I never thought a day like this would come," Judy whispered with a small smile.

Rachel could do little more than nod.

Quinn turned to look at them both once she sat the TV down. "What?" she grumbled self-consciously, daring either of them to say anything.

Leroy walked up to Russell, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Looks like the old man needed some help, huh, Russell?"

Russell shook the insult off with a good-natured chuckle. "I was simply taking a stroll down memory lane. That's all."

Hiram stood from the chair by Quinn's desk. "I don't mean to cut this moment short. But I'm gonna need time to exfoliate before bed, which means Leroy and I are going to need to leave now." While a collective 'aww' of sadness fell over the crowd, Hiram used the opportunity to be the first to hug Quinn goodbye. He hurried over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, Quinn's eyes widening in shock.

Hiram stared at her for a moment, trapping his quivering lower lip between his teeth. "So young," he whispered. "Such innocence. Such potential."

"Any time before we all die of old age, honey," Leroy remarked.

"Just one sec," Hiram told Quinn, swiveling around to face Leroy. "I want a moment with my second daughter and I'd appreciate if you didn't ruin it."

Quinn's eyes widened at the statement, a smile touching her lips.

"Ah, carry on," Leroy told him, then grumbling, "You're the one who said you wanted to leave. Just saying."

Hiram pointedly ignored him, turning back to Quinn to pull her into a hug. "Be safe up here, Quinn."

"I will," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel's eyes softened as she watched her father embrace Quinn so fondly.

"And take care of my baby," Hiram continued.

"I will."

"And just, you know, try not to have _too_ much sex. Study, too."

The tips of her ears burned red as she hoped her father didn't hear that. "Yes, sir," she felt she had to say.

"Alright, alright, my turn," Leroy chimed in, tackling Quinn in a hug from a different angle.

Judy watched the sight before her, before turning to Rachel. "I suppose it's time for me to say goodbye as well." She placed a hand lightly on Rachel's shoulder before pulling her into a hug. "Take care, dear."

Rachel almost laughed at the generic statement though she knew Judy meant it from the bottom of her heart. The Fabray clan was an interesting bunch as far as expressing emotions was concerned. "Thank you, Judy," she said sincerely, wrapping her arms around her. "And I just want you to know that these last few months have meant a lot to me. It was wonderful getting to know you."

"Oh, dear," Judy sighed. "I think you're trying to make me cry."

Rachel chuckled out a sigh as she felt her own eyes mist over. "I mean it," she said quietly. "And I can't wait to visit on holidays to bake with you."

"By then I'll have new recipes," Judy said, eyes alight with excitement when they pulled back. "Quinn thinks she's too much of an adult to bake with me now."

Rachel shook her head adamantly. "You're never too old to bake with family."

"That's what I told her." Judy sighed, casting a glance in Quinn's direction before turning back to Rachel. "Take care of her, dear."

"I will," Rachel said surely.

"She's quite difficult," Judy admitted. "But when she finally lets you love her, you find you'll never be able to stop."

Rachel smiled fondly. "I would say that's a pretty apt description."

"Okay, guys, let's pack it up," Hiram called as he began to look around for his beige cardigan.

Quinn glanced sideways towards Russell standing off from all of the affection. She approached him slowly, her hands clasped behind her back. "Guess you're leaving now, huh?"

He took a step forward to stand directly in front of her, gesturing around her. "This is where I bow out," he said quietly. "This is where you become your own person. For real this time, the way you always wanted," he continued with a quiet chuckle. His hand twitched at his side, then lifted to rest heavily against Quinn's shoulder, and she buckled right there with a faint whimper that she would never admit to, collapsing into his arms.

Russell tensed in surprise for only a moment before fatherly instincts kicked in and he tentatively wrapped his arms around her. He looked over to Judy, at a loss for what to do. A hand lifted to pet at her hair as his other arm secured her against him.

There were no words to magically fix what was broken between them in one single moment in a room full of people. It was something that would take time, so Russell settled for holding her against him until Quinn once again found the strength to stand on her own. Neither spoke a word for a long moment, time lapsing around them in the form of tears tracking down Rachel and Judy's faces.

Eventually Quinn pulled away, face dry of tears but eyes revealingly shimmering wet as she wiped her hands down her dress, nodding once and turning away. She was met with Rachel slowly approaching her from across the room, face already red and puffy and Quinn just about _died_.

"Don't," Quinn said weakly.

Rachel shook her head with a watery smile. "You knew this was coming. You know me." She stepped closer without another word, molding herself into Quinn like she had so many times as her arms twined around her waist. "I'm going to miss you so-so much," Rachel hiccuped against her shoulder, burying her face there and clinging to Quinn.

"I'm just gonna—"

"Yeah, we'll be outside," Hiram interjected, grabbing Leroy and walking out along with Judy and an uncomfortable Russell.

"I told you I could have gone to NYU. We could have been closer together," Quinn murmured into her hair, and Rachel just cried harder as Quinn rubbed her back softly, placing a kiss against her head.

"I know, I know. But I—this is better for you. Yale is structured and disciplined and you thrive on things like that."

"I do," Quinn admitted, kissing her hair once again and wrapping her arms even tighter around Rachel's neck, cradling her head against her shoulder.

Rachel inhaled a shuddery breath, peppering kisses all along Quinn's shoulder in an act of desperation. "This is the first time we've been apart in the four years we've known each other," she sobbed.

Quinn was floundering here, feeling her own eyes burn with tears she really did not want to cry. She grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, gently pushing her back. Then she cupped her face and wiped her tears away with a sad smile. "I know, baby." She leaned forward to connect their lips softly. Rachel surged forward, sealing them firmly together as her salty tears fell upon their lips. Quinn pulled away with a long exhale, resting their foreheads together as she licked the salty taste from her lips.

"Do you want to stay the night?" she offered warmly. "We can spend the rest of the day and tomorrow in bed together. And you can catch the train back tomorrow evening. And we can complain on the phone about the fact that you are just _not_ making good time." She smiled as Rachel released a watery chuckle. "Then you can arrive half a minute late to class the next day because you overslept a little because I got you back so late. Then you can call me on the phone crying because your first professor of the day was a complete jackass about your attendance." Rachel nodded with a whimper as she secured her arms tightly around Quinn's waist, burrowing into her chest. "Then we can cry on the phone together because we miss each other so much." Quinn pressed a kiss to her temple. "Then I'll have to promise to call you back because I have class. I call you back hours later after a busy day of panicking because I'll get lost so much. But when I call you, it'll be better," Quinn finished with a quiet murmur. "And then we stay on the phone with each other until we fall asleep." She squeezed her eyes shut as a tear ran down her cheek. "Do you want that?" she choked out hoarsely.

Rachel nodded hurriedly as they stood in the middle of Quinn's dorm room, holding each other as their tears subsided. "I love you so, _so_ much, Quinn," Rachel whispered as she sniffled, finally calming down.

They pulled back, staring at each other's disheveled appearances, realizing that though this was a bittersweet moment, this was the first day of the rest of their lives that they got to live on their own terms with each other.

Quinn smiled as her eyes roamed over Rachel's red puffy eyes, cheeks, and pink lips. "I love you, too," she whispered back. She wiped a tear from Rachel's eye. A thought, a fantasy that could now be reality, flittered in her mind and her smile widened. "Want some coffee?"

Rachel's eyes widened happily at the question, and the implications of things to come from the seemingly trivial offer. A second later she was tugging Quinn towards the door. "I saw a Starbucks downtown, Quinn!" she exclaimed, gaining a second wind as she dragged Quinn along.

"I'm sure we can find one somewhere that isn't so crowded," Quinn protested.

"_Downtown_, Quinn," Rachel reiterated vehemently.

It was of no surprise to Rachel when they opened the door and found the hallway empty. Her fathers were notorious eavesdroppers after all. They practically flew down the stairs and lost themselves in the city twice before making it to the coffee shop.

But Rachel's hand rested securely in Quinn's the entire way.

And not a single glance was casted in their direction as they strolled down the busy streets, content now that all they had were each other.


End file.
